him in the way of his judgements And now publick assemblies which were wont to be a great solace to me in my distress being not to be enjoyed in that purity I expected and the practise of the publique ministers being so contrary to my judgement and conscience I neither could nor would upon any terms become a hearer of them and thereupon did rather choose to expose my self to the scorn and displeasure of men in keeping meetings every Lords day in my Family Spending that day in prayer and praises and as occasion was offered dayes of humiliation These duties having most of them been my practise for many years wherein I served the Lord withall my might though sometimes under much dejection about the beginning of April my good God through the purchase made by the bloud of his Son that blessed seed of the Woman through whom he had covenanted with out first Parents immediately after the fall to give eternal life having by earnest prayer and intercession I humbly claiming this from the Lord that he would account and make me righteous through that purchase and redemption made by Christ now resolved to take up and put an end to the quarrel which he had against me for all my sins yet to let me know my deserving and to manifest a further work upon me did suffer the enemy to break in again upon me in most dreadful manner Charging upon me that one sin as formerly named above others with such violence and power That I believe I was in as great despair for the time as ever man was My soul by that malicious enemy to mankind being stuffed with all abominations of hellish thoughts injections cursed instigations with other base and abominable vile immaginations he at last infused into me as much malice against my blessed God as possibly he could I thought now I was utterly forsaken living in expectation of nothing but the lower most hell and brought now again almost to blaspheme When I saw that I was in this most dreadful case fearing I should I have wilfully blasphemed I could have been well content that God should have damned me and thrown mâ— into hell fear of being over tempted and thereby to blaspheme God made me weary of life When my Wife would put me on to pray for a blessing upon my meat I did it feignedly being willing to be starved if I could And now in this dreadful condition so dreadful that I believe few Sons of Adam were ever in a worse that did not do the things that I feared i. e. blaspheme God and destroy himself I say being in such a condition and the sin so often spoken of lying still heavy upon me and shame withholding me from revealing it for many years it pleased God to over-rule my spirit that I sent for a worthy Minister of Jesus Christ who coming to me the day before my deliverance I acquainted him with that sin which did so lye upon my Conscience and never was revealed before Well remembring how holy David Ps 32.3.5 who while he kept silence his waxed old through his roaring all the day long did but say he would confess his sin and the Lord forgave his iniquity So the Lord the very next day came and set my soul at rest The comfort and help that I found from my natural relations and friends this woful condition was none at all but instead of pitty I met with reproach from many only my dear yoke fellow was my fellow sufferer of whom I can say the Lord gave her to me for such a day as this to be his blessed instrument of my deliverance for when I was even distracted she laid the glory of the Lord deeply to her heart and did daily bring the word of God to my soul reading with great dilligence the holy Scriptures Which being done then powring forth her soul to the Lord with ardent affections and with a mighty faith in our gratious God who had manifested his great love to her in former troubles the experience of which encouraged her to go on still in earnest and frequent prayer and expectation that the Lord would accomplish the work of deliverance And upon the sixteenth day of April 1669. a day for ever to be solemnized as glorious and honourable to the Lord by me his poor creature she going on in her constant course of prayer after she had given the Lord his holy and reverend titles using Moses his arguments brake forth into these words My Father my Father what wilt thou do with mine husband he hath been speaking and acting still in thy cause oh destroy him not for thine own glory Oh! what dishonor will come to thy great name if thou do it Oh! rather do with me what thou wilt oh do with me what thou wilt but spare my Husband c. Thus laying hold of that word of God in the Prophet With a lively faith concerning your Sons and your Daughters command you me and striving mightily in prayer the duty being eâ—ded the Lord immediately appeared and then that Lyon of the tribe of Judah that blessed seed of the Woman that second Adam that promised Messiah the Son of the living God who had formerly broke the Serpents head he who in a single duel had disarmed the Devil in the Wilderness tâ—od the Wine press of his Fathers wrath alone this Jesus the Saviour who knew how to succour tempred souls made hare his holy arm and his own right hand brought dâ—liverance he delivered me from my strong enemy and saved mâ— from him that hated me He that is pleased to stile himself a God hearing prayer and in most of his great works delights to advance his own power by using small and unlikely means after long tarrying and in a time when I looked not for him came now and owned his own ordinance crowned the cryes and faith and patience of a poor Woman with such success that my praise shall be continually of him The proud mâ—y scorn but the humble shall hear ther of and be glad That roaring Lyon mine adversary the Devil that old Serpent that red-Dragon that unclean Spirit that Lyar Accuser Murtherer from the beginning that Apollion to the Geeckâ— Abbaddon to the Jews and destroyer to all for as are the names given him by the word of truth so is his nature and so hath he laboured mightily for a long season to shew himself in me even now when he thought himself almost seated in the pâ—ssâ—ssion of his long sought Dominion and that there was no casting of him out of my soul which â—e abused making it his dunghil whereon he laid all the filth of hellish thoughts and abominations that he could wanting nothing but my will that Fort-royal to have put me under an eternal vassalage to his long laid desigâ—s now I say was that accursed enemy to God and me his poor creature sent to his own place by my dear Lord Christ that holy Son of the blessed God who took
saith blessed Mr. Bradford it must be such a trust as may be called a Dwelling Here you must stay here you must abide not suffering your Souls to be outed by violence of temptation nor voluntary giving up the possesion â— is a wonder I say again that when the wind of temptation blows high and strong Psal 62.9 Poor Man lighter then a feather lighter then vanity should be any note found Or that grace should ever be able to shew its head when fiery scorching heats of temptation smite the heart Yet so it is The secret of the most high is a place above all destructive storms the shadow of the Almighty is no Jonahs Gourd but a thick a safe shelter from the scorching beams of temptation the fiery darts of the Devil Wait on the Lord oh my Soul hope in his mercy here stay here wait here dwell in waiting let no force nor fraud of Hell perswade thee to depart hence and thou art safe for ever I have shewed already how Satan missed of his design which he had upon me in his first delusion He would have had me being greatly afrighted at the thoughts of Hell to give up my hopes of Heaven and as a means to effect that did to my apprehension present to my view the Lord Christ departing from me This he did whiles I was under bodily weakness from which God mercifully set me free But as I said before and find since by long and lamentable experience his malicious purpose in that delusion did not end when the terror of it was abated His practice upon me so filled my thoughts for many years after that it wonderfully hindred me from receiving my Lord Christ in that faithfulness as I should have done He departed from me so as that the violence of his temptations were nothing so great as in the time when he first was let loose upon me but so much of them still stuck and staid behind as did make me drive on but heavily in the wayes of God filling me with many slavish fears and doubts and thereby making my closure with Jesus Christ upon the offer of the Gospel the more difficult and his own entrance at another season more possible and easy The Lord indeed gave me a gratious deliverance but Satans war with poor souls is not ended after the first battle His hopes are that that fort which is not won at first onset may be conquered at last He was not out of hope of finding a fitter season to renew his temptations against Christ the head though he found he had enough of him in the first Combate Luke 4.13 The text saith when the Devil had ended all the temptations he departed from him for a season How little doth the thoughts of this affect our hearts we are apt to fall asleep as soon as the fit of trouble is over as if our enemy were afraid to shew himself any more or as if his second attempts would be no worse then the first or we our selves in a better posture for resistance Whereas there is nothing more true then the contrary nor any thing more unbeseeming a Christian then to forget his past dangers or remit his dilligeâ—ne and slacken his hand in services of his God and his pretious soul To grow careless negligent and secure after such deliverances or indeed at any time Is 1. Sinful 1 Thes 5.6 Let others sleep as they will Jesus Christ will not have his people do so Math. 26.41 To watch is a duty then which none more frequently enjoyned A duty that carryeth much mercy in the bowels of it A watchful frame will beget and maintain a praying frame wherever it is And both together will be a good means if not to keep off yet at least to keep up the soul under the heavy load of temptation our blessed Lord who himself hath suffered being tempted and is able to succour us who are tempted Heb. 3.18 Hath yet thought it fit to employ poor souls this way during their lucid intervals and quiet hours Encouraging us thereunto by this It may be a preservative from entring into temptations Watch and pray and pray least ye enter into c. Math. 26.41 2. A careless behaviour after deliverance is not only sinful but foolish The folly of it appeareth in these considerations 1. The Devil himself is not at quiet he is rallying up his forces after every Conquest he is renewing his war again with greater fury What he doth in this matter he knoweth he shall gain nothing by but the fulfilling of his malicious and revengeful pleasure in the downfall of our immortal souls And shall he be thus active in a matter of so small advantage to himself and we remain stupid when the gain is an immortal matchless gain and that our own gain too oh how unbeseeming how foolish a thing is this we may well collect how Satan takes his ejectments out of the souls and bodies of Men by the account that the Disciples brought back to their great Master touching the success of their ministry Luke 10.17 Lord say they even the Devils are subject to us through thy name This was the return they made and the text saith 't was with joy Christ allows it to be matter of rejoycing because hardly effected v. 18. And he said unto them I beheld Satan as lightening fall from Heaven To be permitted to rule in man is the Devils Heaven To be cast out thence is a torment next to Hell It is not more contrary to the nature of flame to move downward then to that evil spirit to be removed out of his place in man meer force mighty force must fetch him thence his fall is as the fall of lightening 2. It animates and armes our enemy for a sooner and sorer onset Satan needeth not stay long to find advantages against a sleepy soul The bed of sloathful security will aford room enough for him but none for Jesus Christ And the onset is like to be more sore as well as more soon Old sores not healed every touch goes to the heart Cant. 3.1 24. Ch. 5.2 c. The spouse had more a do to get â—id of her second disertion then of the first although victorious in both Security and unwary walking in a time of peace when there is liberty and leisure to fortify our selves is but a sorry posture for such especially whose enemies are upon the march Of all enemies none carry greater dread or greater danger then those that come on the sudden Gen. 49.17 As Dan that Serpent in the way and Adder in the path dealt with the men of Laish who dwelt careless quiet and secure Judg. 18.7.10.27 So the Devil that old Serpent the fiery red Dragon abours to do with souls negligent to secure â—heir spiritual peace In a word an heart so stupid after deliverance as not to be deeply and durably affected with its past danger and future duty of love to Jesus Christ and pressing after a more distinct
this Amalek of inbred corruption against which we have been fighting with the sword of the Spirit many a weary day Numb 24.20 I say then this Amalek the first of the nations that warred against Israel our souls his end shall be that he be destroyed for ever 3. Such a sence of sin remaining in us as hinders our rejoycing in expectation of the future glory or joyful thanksgiving for our present deliverances is not our duty but our sin God will not be robbed of his glory under a pretence of mourning for his dishonour as soon as God the Father hath delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the Kingdom of his dear Son Col. 1.12 13. 'T is then our duty to give thanks to him who hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance among the Saints in light He that readeth the book of the Acts and considereth how the holy Ghost takes notice of the affection of joy in the converts of those times Act. 2.46 Act. 8.8.39 Act. 9.31 Act. 16.34 may readily conclude that it is as natural for babes in Christ as soon as they are born to rejoyce as it is for others to cry The life of a real Christian should be a continual holy-day And therefore let us keep the feast according to that of our Apostle 1 Cor. 5.8 And follow the advice of that holy man Mr. Downam to that purpose in his Christian warfare who himself was not only troubled with this old man but also with blasphemous suggestions as he himself told me many years past when I went to seek comfort in my condition Let us submit lye down acquiese and be satisfied in the wisdom and goodness of God whose providence is every where and over ruleth all things in Heaven and earth for his own glory and his peoples good And rejoycing in our hopes of glory and interest in all the blessed promises of the word of God so go on in our Christian warfare with good courage not feating men or Devils as to perform out duties towards God and reach out after the end of our faith the salvation of our souls Christ in his word hath given us good assurance of our obtaining this In fidelity is the Devils greatest engine to destroy our rejoycing of hope Would the Lord but go on with his Conquest over unbelief and raise our faith into a more sollid substance of things hoped for Heb. 11.1 And a clearer evidence of things not seen Would he but teach us how to live by faith how rich a living would it afford us how sweetly might we in the contemplation of the truth and worth of that promised glory triumph over all adversities That state wherein poor man shall behold the face of the blessed God in such a fullness that the glorious Angels Heb. 2.16 are not capable of the like man who hath a nearer relation to Jesus Christ hath also a nearer standing to the very throne then the blessed Angels themselves Rev. 4.4 c. is so transporting so ravishing in the foresight thereof that we may well take up that triumphant song Oh Death where is thy stâ—ng oh Grave where is thy victory 1 Cor. 15.55 Behold what manner of love the Father hath loved us withall that we should be called the Sons of God Now are we the Sons of God And it doth not yet appear what we shall be but we know that when he shall appear we shall be like him for we shall see him as he is Oh! the length the heighth the breadth and depth the fulness of that love of Christ that passeth knowledge Now I come to the third sort of Professors â—nd they are such as have never been greatly â—roubled who though they have been scared â—nd lightly touched by the Arrows of the Almighty yet cannot say they have stuck fast â—ithin them and that the Poison thereof â—ath at any time drunk up their spirits To â—hese my request is that they would suffer a â—ord of warning from one who hath more â—â—eply drunk of the Cup of trembling That â—â—up which his Lord and master drank to the â—ottom that so in a little he might be conâ—â—rmable to his head and having obtained â—ercy might be found faithful The main of all I have to say to such is â—â—at my hearty prayer to God for them is â—â—at they all may be strengthened with all might according to his glorious power unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness Col. 1.11 That they may walk worthy of the Lord in all well pleasing Remembring 1. The gentler dealings of the Lord with them then with others calls for hearty acknowledgement of thanksgiving Judg. 8.16 He might have taught you with the bryars and thorns of the Wilderness whereas he hath led you with the gentle cords of a man Hos 11.4 Spared you as a man spareth his Son that serveth him Mal. 3 17. He hath made you free without serving a long and hard Apprenticeship under the yoke of bondage He hath gone an easier way with yoâ— then the way of the Philistins Exod. 13.17 you have not seen warr as others have done Let the miseries of me and others provokâ— you to thankfulness and fruitfulness in everâ— good work 2. Remember your condition is not yet 〈◊〉 safe your danger is not so farr over but thâ—â— you have need of caution your great caâ—â— should be that your latter end might be peaâ—â— Prize the peace of your Conscience aâ—â— while you are in with God oh keep in wiâ—â— him still if you let sin in you drive God 〈◊〉 of your souls And when he is gone all yoâ—â— peace is gone all your comfort of hope is gone too A privation of the light of his countenance will beget a dismal night of horror sin will tumble you down from your Heaven of Communion with God and then the valley of the shadow of death will be your walk and Hellish fiends shall frighten you there with continual alarums of your falling lower into the depths of Hell And how long it may be thus with you who can tell oh how will you be able to bear such changes as these are learn of me and others in like case and be wise think not that your present favour of men or gain of Silver and Gold or flattering pleasures of vanity will make you satisfaction for the harms done by sin Or that the remembrance of these will ransome you from or purchase you the least gentler usuage under the hand of terror Your profession is no priviledged condition Sin can find out the sinner even when he hath taken Sanctuary in Sion Is 33.14 Nothing but righteousness can deliver from death Prov. 10 2. Be found any where or doing any thing else and be sure your sin will find you out Num. 32.23 Those things that appear to thee to be plainly sinful or of the lawfulness whereof thou makest a doubt peremtorily refuse the one and patiently forbear till thou art well
GODS Wonderful MERCY IN THE MOUNT of woful EXTREMITY OR The Recovered Captive BEING A plain Relation of Gods unspeakable goodness in rescuing one of the meanest of his flock from the paw of the roaring Lyon and pangs of unconceivable horror through long and strong temptations and spiritual desertions Published 1. For the encouragement of poor distressed consciences worried with temptations and almost quite wearied with waiting 2. For a caution to secure sinners lest they also come into such or sorer torment 3. For a call of all in whose hearts are the ways of God to bear a part in the high praises of him whose wonders are in the deep By Charles Langford I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever Ps 89.1.17 Knowing the terrours of the Lord we perswade men 1 Cor. 5.11 Thou hast turnea for me Ps 30.11.12 London Printed for Anna Brewster at the Golden bellows in Fore-street at Moor-lanâ—â—end 1672. To the Reader THe ensuing Narrative is intended for the good of all and therefore may well expect freedom from the scornfull censures of any But 't is primarily published for the benefit of such who are apt to think feeling the weight of their own sin as of an heavy burden Psal â—8 4 or the wounds of their own Spirit made by the Arrows of the Almighty sent â—rom the Devils bow and poysoned so that â—hey become fiery darts drinking up the â—pirit Job 6.4 that never any man was in â—uch a case as they none ever went so far â—nto the Valley of the shadow of death and â—eturned alive as they are gone for the â—roken in Spirit those whom the terrours â—f God have to use Hemans words distracâ—d and cut off Ps 88.15.16 for the good of these are the ensuing pages penned and therefore from these may they expect the choâ—â—est entertainment 't is no small favour Heaven shews that besides those fixed monuments of mercy erected in the word oâ— truth such as David Job Heâ—â—an yea and the blessed Jesus all which as they were plunged in the depths of Terrors so were they delivered from their fears every agâ— of the Church should have some living test monies of deep calling unto deep and that as Sathans malice so Gods mercy enduâ—eth for ever that some have deep gashes made upon their peace and those unhealed so long till hope seemeth to be cut off and tâ—e cuâ—ed at the last I am sure will be thy meâ—cy O thou afflicted tossed with Tempest and not comforted however others look upon it Examples in this as in other cases make the deepest impression the understanding here being ever annoyed by the loud and hasty clamours of a misgiving conscience may not be able to make so long a stand as to hear all that the tongue of the Learned have to say for the relief of their weary Souls the judgement must needs be weak when passions are strong Now for such a one to hear that others hunted by the terrors of the Almighty set in array against them to the very brink of desperation and hope even just ready to quit the field have yet through the mercy of the Most High put Sathan to flight won the day recovered their peace and lived in the sweet possession of the Spirit of a sound mind and all this after many a doubtful combate and in a time they looked not for it I say to hear of this exemplefyed in the case of others will at least do thus much service for tottering spirits as to perswade not to make too much hast to run away to hide themselves and that yet there is hope in Israel concerning this thing If in every circumstance of the following Narrative thou find not thy self concerned yet thou wilt in many if thou be one that hast had any experience of the Spirit of Bondage yea and in the main of all thou art troubled in Spirit thy everlasting welfare fare stands bleeding thy hope is giving up the Ghost blasphemous injections the very spirit and humour of hopeless damned Souls haunt and affrighten thy wracked mind thy flesh trembleth for fear of Gods wrathful Judgements all his waves and his billowes pass over thee thou art weary of thy life and yet tormented at the thoughts of death this was the case of the Authour of these following lines 't is hard to conceive a more dangerous condition or that the God of his Salvation should suffer his Faithfulness to thee to fail Wait on the Lord be of good courage Let Satans suggâ—stions be what they will hold this for a certain truth established in the very heavens and irreversible by the gates of Hell Blessed are all they that wait for him Isaiah 30.18 That any should look upon discourses of this kind as matter of scorn and reproachful contempt is matter of sorrow and lamentation that the common enemy to the Race of Adam should find so much Friendship and Folly in the hearts of men yet such there are men that side with their greatest Foe accounting all experiences of this sort as meer Fictions and the issue of a melancholly brain But poor Souls the hour of trembling will come to you at last when you have slept out your sleep upon the lap of lust the Philistines will be upon you and your pleasant dreams of security shall bring you to the King of Terrors let the ensuing narrative be your preservative happy they can discern the vileness of sin and devices of Satan in the clear glass of another Mans Soul confounding terrours one main end of this is thy warning if unhappily thou shalt despise it and thy Faithful Monitor seem to thee as one that mocketh it is no new thing thus it was in the days of Lot Gen. 19.14 even those whose Office should oblige them to better things have been sometimes ignorant in the case of Gods withdrawings Cant. 5.2 smiting and wounding and taking away the Vail have been their work when sympathizing hath been their duty However to be of the Family of Abraham to inherite the blessing is more then sufficient Armour against the persecuting scoffs of Ishmael As for such as truly fear God 't is hoped they will not be offended to see that done by any which is incumbent upon all to declare the works of God with rejoycing and to tell what great things he hath done for our Souls Mark 5.14 is a Law shall stand in Force when the Heavens and Earth shall reel into a change nor will they stumble at the plainness of delivery all have not alike abilities to express themselves Exod. 18.5 gaudy paints of eloquence may sometimes be taken for Ornaments but they are best put off when we have so nearly to do with God Goats Hair and Badgers Skins Exod. 25.45 where there are no better are a good offering for the Sanctuary And to speak truly 't is not in well set words and sentences but in clear experiences true learning doth consist To say any thing
my duty and safety to become partner with the people of God in all the divine ordinances and providences that should be imposed upon them the sence of which duty made me tye my endeavours with theirs to draw the Ark of the God of Israel to its own place 1 Sam. 6.12 And although like the Kine went on lowing all the way yet to the best of my understanding I kept the strait wayes of the Lord and did not wickedly depart from my God After the intestive broils of those times were somewhat abated and leisure with liberty lay common for any man to be as good as he would Though I thankfully embraced the freedom of the Gospel as a singular favour from Heaven yet I must confess as matter of much sorrow that neither the many afflictions nor mercyes under which I was exercised were so well improved as they should But contrarily I forgot to return to God according to his benefits Not long after this I found my sins growing to so great a bulk that I could not look up My former sin began to grow fresh in my remembrance and the Lord to withdraw the light of his countenance which I had now for a good season and in a good measure enjoyed my communion with him began much to abate and his rod of affliction such as I had not known before began to smart upon my back In my former trials then which I thought once none could be greater I was not brought so near the brink of utter ruins as I was in this and what followed First the Lord began to lay on a load of sore and gauling afflictions upon my loines mainly By bringing a day of silence upon his Ministers from whose lips I had often received sufficient drops of that water of life to quench the thirst of my heart panting after God And blocking up the solemn assemblies of his Saints permitting things so contrary to my judgement to be introduced and added to his worship These together with some other heavy afflictions at home from some of mine own relations did so concur with my former tryals that I now concluded more then at any time before God had withdrawn himself from me Hereupon he was pleased to suffer that cruel enemy Satan that old Serpent to break in upon my soul with such dread and terror that he made my body to quake upon my bed so that I was fain to have one to lye upon me to keep me from shaking thinking then he had an opportunity to accomplâ—sh his hellish tragedy my self being so abused by his former delusions and still entertaining thoughts that God had forsaken me that cursed enemy to the most glorious and ever blessed God would have tempted me as once Jobes Wife dâ—d her husband to curse God and this he pressed with much violence but through the mercy of God was not able to accomplish his wicked design though he seemed to me to affirm with as strong affirmations and as bloudy oaths as ever were heard from any swearing wretch that I was damned territâ—ing me in the night with fearful dreams and visions of a spiritual nature which were most dreadful to my apprehensionâ— and not being be through the goodness of God to make my tongue his cursed instrument departed for a season as though he would have rented the Heavens and the Earth But reviving again his temptations she whom God had given me for a meet helper fighting against him by earnest prayer to Almighty God and likewise many Christian friends that came to see me he now began to desist and fail in that way and therefore began to try another viz. In relation to the former delution as though I should do some murtherous act And now shewing himself to be according as our God hath said of him a murtherer from the beginning he with strong temptations endeavoured to make me imbrue my hands in the bloud of my dearest friend who had been so helpful to me against his former temptations which was most grievous to my poor soul and fearing least his violent temptation might have overcome me I being so much in his hands desired her that she would withdraw her self telling her the temptation But she something amazed thereat undauntedly lifted up her soul to the Lord by holy ejaculations and resolved she would not give that enemy one inch of ground But casting us both upon the protection of the Almighty with a lively faith in the Lord Jesus vanquished the enemy at that time Yet this temptation continnued about two months in all which time my poor soul being most dreadfully afflicted I did again earnestly desire my Wife to get some company in the house by night but having little help or comfort from others she the more uncessantly acted faith and prayer until our gratious God had given us deliverance CHAP. IV. His strugling under and against temptations The means most used and blessed for his support Cast again the fourth and last time into the furnace of fiery hot instigations to blaspheme the means used and owned for coming thence An happy issue ANd having now passed some five or six years since the last grievous visitation all this time labouring for the pardon of sin in the use of means appointed of God to get out of that sad condition wherein I was still haunted with blasphemous and horrible injections and cursed instigations to curse and swear which that wicked enemy could not after his utmost endeavours bring any further then my tongues end Now I say labouring under these temptations and making my condition known to my Godly acquaintance they affirming that these were not my own but Satans suggestions some comfort I had from them labouring in the word of the Lord and prayer This was one good stay Making use also of those blessed streams flowing from the word of God I mean the works of those blessed servants of Christ who have laboured much in writing upon such subjects As namely Dr. Preston upon the attributes which I read above twelve times over Dr. Thomas Goodwins Child of light walking in darkness Mr. Bridges's lifting up of cast down Mr. Simonds his deserted soul And that pretious piece of that worthy Mr. Burroughs Saints walking by faith without sight and sence And Mr. Baxâ—ers thirty two directions traversing these books over through the Lords blessing Were a great comfort and support in bearing up my soul against the enemies cruel attempts and wearisome afflictions under which I strugled having no assurance of the pardon of my sins and lying still under the guilt of that great transgression so long past committed and under many more since Moreover though I could not pray with a free spirit yet under all this heavy load I still followed the Lord by earnest prayer that he would come and take away both guilt and filth of sin and destroy that cursed nature from which Satan took his advantage against me and help me though he tarry yet still to wait for
blessing of God upon my long use of the labours of those worthy men have I found much encouragement to hold up to this day under various tryals a short account of which may conduce to my end in this particular which is to stir you up to get and give the Lord the glory of such comfortable assistants Time was when I lay under darkness deprived of the light and comfort of Gods Countenance I thought he acted towards me as an enemy one affliction came in upon the back of another that my hands began to flagg My sins I apprehended to be so great that my prayers brought me in but little comfort or none at all I was ready to cry out the decree is past I conceited that his mercy was clear gone for ever In reading Dr. Preston upon the attributes it pleased God to give me some satisfaction by reading there that there is a certain decree concerning the time appointed for every man to dye yet do not we forbear to eat or take physick and though there be a time when God doth reject a soul and cast him off as he did Saul yet this decree being unknown to us there is a door of hope opened for sinners yet to come to God for though the day of death be determined yet who doth neglect the use of means to preserve life and page 93 he saith O thou poor soul wouldest thou repent and pray wouldest thou change thy life if there were any hope why if there be no more grace in thee then this and thou dost pray and repent well as thou canst God cannot but hear thee For he is an immutable God who hath stiled himself a God hearing prayers And from reverend Mr. Bridges who in his lifting up of down casts among many other things saith Did you ever read in all the book of God that ever God did forsake a man finally that was sensible of it and complained thereof simply for its self and thinks the time long and tedious till the Lord comes again 〈◊〉 such a one he concludes in the word of the Lord is not fallen totally or finally So likewise when under those horrible instigations to curse to swear to blaspheme and in the very act of duty or speaking of the blessed God injections to the contrary How hath the Lord gratiously met with me and supported me by the hearing and reading of the labours of Gods faithful Ministers Mr. Bolton in his comforting of afflicted Consciences who tells us these are not ours but Satans sins and will in the day of reckoning be laid upon his score and some comfort have I met with from Mr. Baxter in his thirty two directions and others Under all my troubles God directed me to one or other of his Servants who by speaking or writing gave much ease to my troubled mind Above all others I am bound to thankfulness to God for the Comfort I received from two one is that learned blessed man Dr. Th. Goodwin in his Child of Light walking in darkness The abundance of refreshment that I found from those ten directions of his in that book was such as I am much bound to bless God for him The other is Mr. Burroughs in the book I mentioned before where especially these things were a great stay to me 1. That God tenders himself to all to whom the Gospel comes in a Covenant of Grace and not of works 2. All the good that God doth his Creatures especiall in relation to eternal Life is for his Names sake 3. There is no qualification in the Creature made by God himself as a◠condition for believing 4. That it is the great glory of God and the design that he hath in this world to glorifie himself in the way of his free grace and faithfulness towards the Children of men 5. That it is as delightful to Jesus Christ to have the end of his death fulfilled as it is to us to have our own Salvation 6. God leaves his own people sometimes without sence of his love for many good ends 7. God hath more glory in saving a poor Soul then in casting him off When such a one comes in to God freely confessing his sins judging himself God hath more glory in the salvation of him then in his damnation That Sermon likewise of Mr. Bridges Christ in travel helped me much against my fears of Apostacy and falling away where Use 2. p. 141. he saith if Christ will see the travel of his Soul and be satisfied here we may see the reason why we cannot be satified with that opinion of the Saints Apostacy This also being unsatisfactory to the heart of Christ can a man be satisfied to see one of his members torn from him can a man delight in it or endure it surely then this Doctrine of falling from grace must needs be false if Christ travelleth for the salvation of his people he shall see their perseverance Thus have I acquainted you with part of the great advantage I found in making use of the labours of the Ministers of Christ oh love them lay out for them look upon them as the gift of Christ for the good of you and the Lord enlarge them and multiply such labourers in his harvest To conclude what I have upon experience to say to thee poor sad soul you have seen how touch misery I have felt and how the Lord drew me out of it therefore look upon thy condition as a mourner in Sion Is 61.3 chap. 33.18 to be much better then the most jovial sinner in Sion let those dreadful chastisements of God laid upon you by the hand of Satan either in the way spoken of before or in any other whatsoever never pass with you as sufficient cause of doubting of the love of God Learn to make a difference between matter of humilliation and matter of doubts and desperation 2 Cor. 12.7 1 Joh. 3.23 Satans buffetings may well beget humblings in a Paul But cannot dissolve the Commandment of believing in the name of the Son of God Be thy troubles what they will remember The Mount is the place of vision When you are at the highest top of troubles you are nighest to deliverance Gen. 22.14 In the Mount will the Lord be seen hath been a fruitful place of comfort to me often in my distress Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee because he trusteth in thee Trust ye in the Lord for ever for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength Is 26.3 4. For the vision is yet for an appointed time but at the end it shall speak and not lye though it tarry wait for it because it will surely come it will not tarry Hab. 2.3 There hath no temptation 1. Cor. 10.3 God shall tread Satan under your feet shortly Rom. 16 20. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of God Lam. 3.26 2. 〈◊〉 word or two to you that have been in deep waters at
Hell Gates and yet are delivered Let me put you in remembrance of these two or three duties 1. Oh see that you ingage your hearts unto the Lord I will love the Lord with my whole heart I will love him dearly Ps 103.1 c. Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not all his benefits who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseases who redeemeth thy life from destruction who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies Oh pray that your love to him who hath delivered your souls from the snares of cruel death and pulled your feet out of the miry Clay where there was no bottom may encrease and abound more and more Josh 24.14 Sincere affections and dissobedience are the only returns that God looks for Deny not these in the highest degree 2. Give up your lives for the Lord. Be content he shall dispose of them in the way he knoweth best for his glory If he shall call you forth to suffer death for a testimony of your love to him and the Gospel of his Son think it not too much for him Well mayst thou undergo ten thousand natural deaths were it possible for Jesus Christs redemption from the hands of thy spiritual enemies is cause enough for thee to serve him without fear of what man can do unto thee Look upon thy past deliverance as things never no never to be forgotten nor sufficiently to be required by thee 3. Take care now thou hast found him whom thy soul loveth oh take care for his undisturbed residence You know what it is to want the comforting presence of Jesus Christ let those who know not the terrors of the Lord and the fearful consequents of his forsakings venture the displeasure of him by their slighting of his precepts and slothfulness in his paths but let not us do so we that know what it is to be thrown into the depths of horror and how hard as well as sweet is our recovery thence oh let not us dare to sleep upon the top of the mast but rather keeping fast hold upon our beloved by the hand of Faith beg of him that he would not depart out of our hearts lay a strict charge over all the cares and comforts and companies and conditions of this life Canticles 2.7 by the Roes and by the Hindes that they stir not up nor awake our Love until he please 4. If the Lord Jesus Christ shall please for his own glory to walk a while out of your hearts again if he shall at any time withdraw the comforts of the Holy Ghost loose not in Satan again by unbelief distress not your selves overmuch by giving way to the least mistrust as if he would never return Ps 77. and more remember his loving kindness and his works and wonders of old think he never goes away but when it is expedient for us Joh. 16.7 and having already sealed us by the holy spirit of promise given us eye-salve enlightning our understandings in the knowledge of his love whereby we are perswaded our names are written in the book of Life Râ—m 11.29 The gifts and calling of God are without repentance 2 Cor. 1.10 He that hath delivered may well be trusted that he will do so again John 10 29. No Man or Devil can take us out of the hands of God John 13.1 Whom be loveth he loveth to the end Phil. 1.6 He that hath begun a good work will carry it on to the day of Christ 5. You have been delivered from the violence of temptations but remember that yet we carry about us such sinful natures the Fruits of our first Parents transgression that would again put up his head against God and his most righteous Laws yea and take part with Satan against him and our selves too there is yet an unregenerate part the remnant of the old Adam remaining in the best and holiest of mâ—n after all the forty years temptations of Israel in an howling wilderness and when they are brought into the Land of rest Judg. 3. yet there the Amorite will be found nothing but dissolution will fetch the leprosie of natural corruption out of our earthly tabernacles Lev. 14.45 and especially will this cursed corruption annoy us with offers to do the same things that Satan before he was dispossessed would have done my experience tells me some of the old filth still sticks behind The wise God will have it so that the vileness and greatness of our old sins might not be forgotten that we may be poised down with humility and put a longing after natures dissolution till which time sin now twisted with our nature will not be removed this remnant of the old man with its stirrings cannot choose but be an heavy burden to the new Rom. 7.24 't is such a body that it made the very soul of a Paul groan and cry out for a deliverance Ex. 17.16 This â—malck God hath sworn it that he will have war with it for evnr As good Souldiers of Christ our Captain let us be perswaded to hold on our war against this party of corruption yet abiding in our natures and in so doing we have the comfort of these ensuing considerations 1. That this remainder of cursed nature though it be not utterly destroyed yet shall it not have dominion over us so as to bring forth Fruits unto death or to be charged upon our persons to condemnation Rom. 8 2. For by Christ our Lord we are dischargea and set at freedom from the Law of sin and death being under the Covenant of grace we have received the spirit of life and power even that blessed spirit that raised our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead which hath quickned us and put life and power into us in a good measure enabling us to crucifie the flesh with its affections and lusts Gal. 5.24 so that its dominion is taken away though its life be continued for a season 2. And it is but for a season that its life is continued in us the war will not hold always there is a time coming when we shall be delivered from this bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the sons of God Rom. 8.19 c. 23. and not onely we but those very Creatures the Heaven and the Earth shall be set free from that bondage of corruption which lyeth upon them by reason of the sin of man in that day we shall be made like unto the Son of God in our measure The transfiguration upon the Mount seemeth to be a resemblance of that glory wherein Jesus Christ shall appear as he was the Son of David when he shall come to take the Kingdom unto himself then shall the poor benighted Sons of the day welcome in that joyful morning with a new Song and Psalms of tryumphant victory in their hands Rev. 15.3 then shall all the enemies of our Souls be totally subdued and even
again endeavouring by his old way to carry on his former designs and as I have declared his fore-laying the way for the catching of poor sinners before sin committed I shall now speak a word or two of his methods and devices in the pursuing the servants of God after the Lord hath shewed great mercies and hath appeared unto them To the intent that I may further discover his wiles and temptations whose mallice is great against God and the Sons and Daughters of men but especially against the Saints and by reason of his great power being an Angel though of darkness he not only acts his own servants and slaves as he is the Prince of the air that ruleth in the Children of dissobedience but acteth upon Gods own Children and servants that fear the Lord. As I shall give you several instances as namely upon Jobes three friends though godly men how he did act them to have perswaded Job to confess himself an Hypocrite put it â—nto the heart of Judas to betray his Master â—eâ— and Peter 100 to perswade his Lord and Master that none of those things should beâ—â—ll him at Jerusalem which Christ himself had foretold should come to pass yea how did he prevail with the Scribes and pharisees to complot and agree with the Souldiers to say his Disciples came by night and stole him away endeavouring thereby to have concealed the Resurrection and so to have blasted the work of mans Redemption I shall now speak a word or two more of hingeneral practise upon the world for it is said the world lyeth in wickedness therefore must needs be acted by that wicked one who ruieth in the Children of disobedience that is upon the generality of the men of the world The gate of Heaven being strait and few of the Sons and Daughters of men go thither in comparison of the world God Almighty all along from the begining for the carrying on of his glory and building up his Church hath powred out his spirit upon the Sons of men making some Prophets and some Apostles and that upon the meanest of men as you see the Prophets Herdsmen and men of mean occupations and the Apostles Fisher men for you know it is said not many noble not many great nor many wise after the wisdome of the world for by such mean men the Lord doth make his glory and wisdom to be more conspicious when these that are illiterate and not bred up at the feat Gamaliel when such as these shall confound the wisdom of the world his glory shines more illusterously though without humanâ— learning for having received the wisdom of the spirit are made wise to salvation discoruing not only the misteries of mans redemption but their own particular salvation through Christ which the wisdom of the world knew not And so the Prophets and Apostles have had the honour of being Pen men of the Scripture by the holy Ghrist so that the words which they spake shall be the standing word by which the world shall be judged But such is the present condition of these times that the Lord hath given his spirit and excellent gifts to be improved for his glory O how duth the men of this world actâ—d by Satan being indeed his main master piece sets his own Instruments upon the servants of God by reproachful terms and all other ways of mischief and in a taunting deriding way of scorn crying our O you have the Spirit O you are Saints and you can preach Whereas surely it may be replyed unto them if they have not the spirit they are none of Christs and if none of his servants then you know what you are if not Saints then Davils and without holyness you shall never see the Kingdom of God And to others in a taunting manner you are Preachers surely if God hath given out such gifts though they do noâ— take upon them the ministry yet such gifts may be imployed to edification and to build up themselves and others in the faith of the Gospel why then should this be offensive doth not the Apostles say if any may hath a word of exhortation let him speak Suppose that God hath given such parts for from him cometh every good and perfect gift Will you reproach the spirit of the living God or obscure the graces of God O this indeed is a mighty Stratagem of Sathan whereby he doth much hinder the glory of God what if God hath given grace and gifts to mean Persons as mean as Fisher men I say to Glovers Shoomakers Taylors Weavers and other Tradesmen and why not as well as Fisher men Herds men and Tent-makers shall not their gifts be improved It is true the Prophets and Apostles had the spirit given them in great measure and shall not God give unto such as before mentioned in their measure Alas I would ask you by what spirit do these men act who are so industerous to improve all their knowledge and utmost endeavors to walk exactly in all the Commandments of God having respect thereunto shall such be reproached But it may be objected that these men have not humanâ— learning they have not been at the Universities well then It is grace that makes a man more excellent then his Neighbour I do not speak against humanâ— learning it may be a good handmaid to Divinity but grace must be in the Chayre she must be Mistriss grace is the glorious Ornament that makes the poor Saints shine in their conversations and glorifie their Father which is in Heaven when the men of great humanâ— learning oftentimes drown themselves in the ways of the world and make their condemnation to be the greater by it And by their scandelous lives bring dishonour to God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ but the day draweth near when the Dragon Beast and false Prophet with the Locusts of Hell shall be bound up together and cast into that fire which burneth with fire brimstone for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it when the feet of him shall be beautiful upon the mountains that publisheth peace and salvation saying unto Zyon thy God reigneth then shall the voice of thy watchmen be heard and lift up their voice and shout together for they shall see him eye to eye when the Lord shall give deliverance to Zyon I shall give you one instance more and that is of my self sines the Lord came into my soul witnessing he had given me eternal sife as I have declared and set forth in my blesphemous thoughts and when we shall take in hand the performance of the duties of Gods worship as singing of Psalms reading the word and in Prayer when we give the Lord his glorious titles he is ready to thrust the contrary unto our hearts and plays the Devil indeed to contradict what we say and by the assistance of that unregenerate proceeding lines He I say Sathan hath so endeavoured to do me all the mischief that possible he could not leaving a stone unturned