and delusions that are in the hearts of sinners such instances would not be rare but it would be a wonder how any sinner could die in his sin and in his wits too from such a fear as this Believers are delivered Though they may and do experience some measure of fears yet God doth always support with some degree of hope that they let not go all their hold of the Covenant of God In a word Believers are so far victorious over the fear of death that if they understand their case aright they have no cause to be afraid of death when they are they are more afraid than hurt The Hornet having lost its sting may threaten with its humming noise but cannot prick the flesh so death where sin is pardoned which is itssting may afright with its horrid aspect but cannot hurt 3. Death is overcome to Believers in that it cannot hold them by its power It is indeed the unalterable Law of Heaven that all must die And accordingly Abraham Isaac and Jacob and all the Patriarchs Moses and Samuel and Isaiah and all the Prophets Peter and James and John and all the Apostles yea all the Saints from Adam to this generation are fallen asleep and shut up in their Graves But shall the Grave always contain them Are they there kept in an everlasting Prison under locks and bars that cannot be opened Did making the Sepulchre sure Sealing the stone and setting a Watch forbid Christs Resurrection No surely I went down saith Jonah a Type of the Resurrection to the bottoms of the Mountains the Earth with her bars was about me for ever yet hast thou brought up my life from corruption O Lord my God Jon. 2. 6. And though after my skin worms destroy this body yet in my flesh shall I see God whom I shall see for my self and mine eyes shall behold and not another though my reins be consumed within me saith Job ch 19. 26 27. Though the Saints be descended to the depths of the sea and hid in the bowels of the Earth and their bodies resolved into the farthest dust and that dust dispersed to the four Winds yet shall they be recovered and rise again The Sea shall not contain the dead that are in it nor the Graves the dead that are in them Their scattered atoms shall be recollected and reared up again to a goodly body Behold there shall be a shaking and their dry bones shall come together bone to his bone and lo the sinews and the flesh shall come up upon them and the skin shall cover them above And thus shall the Lord God say Come from the four Winds O breath and breath upon these slain that they may live and the breath shall come into them and they shall live and stand up upon their feet Ezek. 37. 7 8 10. This is it which the Apostle asserts here throughout the Chapter concluding that then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written Death is swallowed up in victory Object But what more victory is this than what unbelievers shall have for they also shall rise again Answ Yes it is more beyond all comparison Joh. 5. 28 29. All that are in the graves shall hear his voice and shall come forth they that have done good unto the Resurrection of life and they that have done evil to the Resurrection of damnation The wicked shall rise but from death Temporal to death Eternal to die the second death This is Death's Victory over them The Godly shall rise from Death temporal to Life eternal to die no more This is the Saints Victory over Death 4. Death is so overcome to Believers as to be made serviceable and advantageous to them And this is the fulness and perfection of Victory when the Enemy is brought in Subjection to serve the Conquerour The Apostle in this Epistle reckons Death to be part of the Saints Inventory ch 3. 21 22. All things are yours whether Paul or Apollos or Life or Death And elsewhere he calleth it gain Phil. 1. 21. to die is gain What gain Answ 1. In reference to the present state Death is 1 st The end of Sin With the body of Flesh the body of Sin is also put off from which St. Paul longed to be delivered Rom. 7. 24. Here the best of Saints have their corruptions infirmities imperfections but at Death the Spirits of just men are made perfect Heb. 12. 23. 2 ly The end of all Sorrows There are no Pains or Diseases or Griefs or Losses or Crosses or Persecutions in the Grave Job 3. 17 18 19. There the wicked cease from troubling and there the weary be at rest There the Prisoners rest together they hear not the voice of the Oppressor The small and great are there and the Servant is free from his Master 3. Rest from Labours It is no light burden of works that is upon a Christians hand no small labour to discharge the duties of his general and particular Calling What saith the Scripture Labour work watch run strive wrastle fight give diligence endure hardness press forward c. But blessed are the dead that die in the Lord for they rest from their labours Rev. 14. 13. The day of the Saints Death is his happy Jubilee when he is set at liberty and goeth out free from his Service Thus is Death gain in reference to the presence state 2. In reference to the future state for 1 st As for the Soul it being released from the body is admitted into the Heavenly Jerusalem to an innumerable company of Angels to the Spirits of just men made perfect and to Jesus the Mediator of the New Covenant Heb. 12. This day saith Christ to a dying Saint shalt thou be with me in Paradise Luk. 23. 43. St. Paul desires to depart that he might be with Christ which is far better Phil. 1. 23. 2 ly As for the body Death serves to refine it for 1 Cor. 15. 50. This I say that Flesh and Blood cannot inherit the Kingdom of God neither doth corruption inherit incorruption These bodies which we now carry are so gross and corruptible they are not meet for an heavenly state They die that they may be changed Phil. 3. 21. They are sown in corruption to be raised in incorruption sown in dishonour to be raised in Glory sown in weakness to be raised in power sown Natural bodies to be raised Spiritual The old decayed house is taken down to be built anew and these weak crasie bodies are laid in the Earth to rise afresh This corruptible is corrupted that it may put on incorruption and this Mortal dieth that it may put on Immortality Thus is this Enemy overcome and made to serve as a mean and advantage to the Believers happiness This indeed is a glorious Victory over a very mighty and formidable Enemy So great and wonderful that it far exceeds the hope of Nature Flesh and Blood cannot believe the report thereof Paul's discourse of the Resurrection
something to it before Prayer often exhorting his family to a reverend demeanor of themselves in the worship of God and would be much troubled when he understood or discerned any thing to the contrary Once a week for the most part he did catechise both Children and servants either out of the Assemblies or his own Scriptural Catechism and explained it to them And once a fortnight if not diverted by urgent occasion he went over some principle of Religion opening and explaining it in a Catiehistical way which his Children and Servants were to give him an account of the next fortnight and when they had so done he proceeded to another principle and thus he did from time to time What sermons the Youth of the family heard upon the Lords day or at any other time they gave an account thereof to him as they could remember He kept private days of Humiliation with his family as often as he could gain opportunity for it on which days he would if not prevented deal particularly with every one or as many as he had time for that was under his charge about the matters of their Souls And took care that all in his family should call upon God and Pray to him in secret as well as be present at family duty And when any of his Brethren came to vsit him He was not willing to let them depart without Prayer His Family was an house of Prayer These his labours in his family God blessed and succeeded to the Spiritual good of several that came under his roof He was most tenderly conscientious in keeping holy the Sabbath day whereof he was a strict observer and took care that all under his roof should do the same He kept a very severe watch not only over his words and actions but his very thoughts also Quickly reflecting thereon not only when vain and sinful but when impertinent to the holiness and duty of the day whereof he hath left the following testimonies April 29. 1666. My heart was much out of frame upon the Lords day full of vain and Sinful thoughts As I was going to prayer in the Afternoon alone God brought to remembrance Ps 40. 12 17. Innumerable evils have Compassed me about mine iniquities have taken hold upon me so that I am not able to look up yet the Lord thinketh upon me This was a stay to me Apr. 4. I went forth on several occasions None of them succeeded The first Contrivance of that journey was cast into my thoughts on the Lords day in a time of prayer I laid it aside till Monday and then considered further of it and saw it convenient for the best ordering of my affairs But not humbling my soul for those contrivances so unseasonably arising in my mind I was crossed in them Hereupon I determined for time to come when any thoughts or contrivances about ordering my affairs were cast into my mind on Lords days or on other days in time of holy duties to lay them aside till a more convenient time and if upon deliberation that way of ordering my affairs seems best which was cast into my mind in time of holy duties I would not hereupon neglect that way lest Satan should get advantage of me but I would first humble my Soul for its wanderings and suffering such thoughts to arise so unseasonably and took to Christ for pardon of the irregularities of my heart and then not fear to order my affairs in that way that seems most agreeable to reason and neerest the rule of Gods word though the Contrivance was first cast into my mind at an unseasonable time Having a letter of Spiritual advice and Counsel to write to a friend and having no spare time but on the Lords day to do it I was doubtful whether I might spend some part of that day on such imployment As I was musing on my bed what I had best do that Scripture came to my mind Rev. 1. 10 11. I was in the Spirit on the Lords day and I heard a Voice saying what thou seest Write in a Book and send it to the seven Churches Whence I Concluded it to be Lawful to write as well as read hear meditate and discourse of spirital matters on the Lords day His Charity had no less measure than the rest of his Graces which he accounted one of the best characters of a Christian Lamenting sometimes the divisions among Professors of religion he would say He did not value a Christian by his great knowledg and eminent parts but by his great Charity and Love to his Brethren This he extended to various Sorts of objects as Towards those who were at difference one with another He was an industrious peace-maker offering himself to interpose to make up the breach taking journeys when at distance in order to it Towards those that had difference with himself about worldly concernes from which he was not altogether free though altogether innocent when he suffered wrong by any his care was that they should suffer none by him or his either in word or deed always practising himself and counselling others to do good against evil He would make the best construction that was possible of the words and actions of his adversaries often making mention of that Scripture 1 Cor. 13. 5. Charity thinketh no evil Towards his Friends his Friendship was hearty ingenuous faithful and open He received them into his house gladly entertained them liberally conversed with them cheerfully sympathised with them in their afflictions affectionately and served them as he had occasion industriously Towards those that persecuted him and others for Conscience and Religions sake he observed the command of Christ Math. 5. 44. He affcctionately pitied them and prayed for them daily And when he heard any passionate expressions against them for their violence and unrighteousness he would be offended and charge people to pray more earnestly for them and seek opportunities to do them good Towards those that dissented from him in the matters of God he had a Spirit of meekness and forbearance embracing all with Christian Love whose practice did not destroy their profession of Christianity Colchester was a very divided place when he was called thither upon the account of diverse persuasions yet he so behaved himself with all humility modiration tenderness Brotherly kindness aad Charitable judgment that they were generally united in their respects and esteem for him And though he could not with Satisfaction to his Conscience conform to all that the Law required yet he judged many that did to be very Good men and had a real Honour for them Towards the poor and such as were reduced to streights and difficulties in this world he was pitiful and bountiful He devised liberall things and drew out his Soul to the hungry In the exercise whereof he observed our Saviours rule Math. 6. 1 2 3. This indeed was one of his secrets which he always industriously concealed as much as he could Yet variety of objects bare
what great need I have and that it is of singular use to watch over my Soul in all its ways both in reference to sin that I fall not into it and when fallen what the Carriage and Actings of my Soul are at such a time Whether I flee for relief to God in Christ or to my own works And in reference to my duties to take heed lest those means which God hath appointed to be the conveyances of himself his Son and Spirit and all Spiritual blessings should prove to me a mean of Death and Separation from God by my formal use of them and resting in them For as Satan keeps some alienated from God by the gross pollutions of the world So others from Christ by their Establishing a Righteousness of their own O Lord break thou this snare for me and let my Soul escape as a bird from the Net that I may flee to thee and be at rest I have observed in my self that when God at any time is pleased to work any thing in my Soul I soon lose it if he quicken me I soon grow dead hearted again if he enliven my affections they soon grow cold and flat and my old hardness returns upon me Hence I come to see that it is infinite Wisdom and Goodness in God that he hath not put the stock of grace into our own hands but hath treasured it up in Christ that our life is now hid with Christ in God for so it becomes sure Rom. 4. 16. hereby also I come to see that I have need of continual recourse to Jesus Christ for new supplies of grace and strength The Lord God in his wisdom was pleased when he delivered his people out of Egypt before he brought them to Canaan to lead them 40 years in the wilderness when as he could have led them a nearer way to Canaan Exod. 13. 17. He chose rather to lead them through the great and terrible Wilderness Jer. 2. 6. where were fiery Serpents and Scorpions and drought where there was no water where he brought them forth water out of the Rock of Flint and fed them with Manna for this end that he might humble them prove them and do them good in the latter end Deut. 8. 15 16. Doest thou find it so O my Soul in thy travail towards the Heavenly Canaan Doest thou walk through much Spiritual drought a land of deserts and of the shadow of death Dost meet with a flinty heart and fiery temptations Know that the Lord doth this to humble thee which through his grace thou hast sometimes found and to prove thee i. e to discover thee to thy self for he himself knows thy thoughts afar off and this way of God through grace hath been a means of discovering much of thy corrupt heart to thee and that he may doe thee good in the latter end Therefore take heed O my Soul of Israel's sins of murmuring against God under thy wants of unbeleif and tempting God c. Read oft and weight well the 78th Psalm May 6. being Sabbath day The Lord was pleased in the hearing of his word to convince me of my sin and lost condition But Lord How unfaithful was I then and have I been since to the Convictions of thy Spirit How soon have I healed up the wound that was given by the word How soon hath an hard heart a secure careless Spirit taken possession of me Lord If ever thy word be effectual in me thou must not only speak it to my heart but write and engraff it there also Henceforth I desire to wait on thee as for the teachings of thy Spirit so for the writing of thy Law in my heart by thy Spirit I found a lothness in my Spirit to go to here this Sermon whereby I perceive Satan would have hindred me Be encouraged hence O my Soul to break through all difficulties thou meetest with in doing thy duty When thou findest any secret unwillingness to ordinances or duties then stir up thy self to wait upon God expecting that he hath some special mercy for thee which Satan would hinder thee off Jun. 1. This day the Lord did in the hearing of his word revive some convictions which have formerly been upon my Spirit though in a very languid manner I stood convinced before the Lord of unbelief and that I was a lost creature because thereof from the words of our Saviour Joh. 3. 18. He that believeth not is Condemned already Conscience tells me that I am yet in unbelief that I want that faith which is accompanied with the new birth Joh. 1. 12 13. that faith which should purge me from Atheism formality and resting in duties from hypocrisie and deadness from unclean affections and inordinate Love of the world from a vain mind and a light Spirit that faith which should purifie my heart from these and the like evils Act. 15. 9. that faith which should make Christ a greater Reality and more precious to me than any thing in the world 1 Pet. 2. 7. that faith which brings peace with God and joy in the Holy Ghost unspeakable and full of Glory Rom. 5. 1. 1 Pet. 1. 8. I find I have had a dead faith Jam. 2. 17 20. and presumed upon Gods Mercy in Christ although I have been estranged from God in my heart and Nature my Resting in duties and trusting in my own Righteousness as far as I can see hath been the deceit of my heart Lord lay this conviction upon my Conscience for I find my heart would put it off yea it hath already desperately hardned it self against thee I fear I shall out-grow this Conviction of thy word as at other times I feel a careless Spirit that would make light of Eternity and of Jesus Christ Lord break my heart under thy word for my unbelief and neglect of Christ Let me not heal my self but wait till thou shalt heal me Thou didst help the unbelief of thy Servant Thomas Oh that thou wouldest help mine also The Lord hath shewn me that I am dead in sin not only from the testimony of his word Eph. 2. 1. Col. 2. 13. but by inward experience For I feel my self alienated from the life of God cut off from communion with the Lord Jesus separate from God and his blessed Spirit My deceitful heart hath often gone about to repel this conviction and hath caused me sometimes to mistake a life of morality for Spiritual life and at other times a life of formality But now I find the Scripture speaks of dead works and calls for repentance from them Heb. 6. 1. and purging our consciences from them Heb. 9. 14. By dead works I understand not only the gross pollutions of the World but all works whatever that are done by a man void of the quickning Spirit of God Without Union to Christ there is no Spiritual life for as the natural life results from the Union of the Soul with the body and the State of death is nothing but the
an evident Answer of Prayer and a fulfilling of that promise Prov. 28. 27. He that giveth unto the poor shall not lack April 24. Being desired to go to a poor Christian I promised to go there being only two Maids in the house I considered whether it might not prove some scandal to go but considering also she was a Member of Christ and therefore I ought to Administer to her Soul I resolved to commit the taking care of my Name to the Lord and to do my duty I begged of him that he would secure me from reproach and as I went an honest poor man met me to whom I told whither I was going and asked him to go along with me he was willing and did so I looked upon him as sent by the Providence of God in Answer to my Prayer These were some of those observations and experiences which he recorded during his continuance at Cambridge Upon his removal from thence he intermitted this practice for some years but resumed it again Octob. 1662. God put it into my heart as at other times so especially on Wednesdays the day on which I was wont to Preach my Lecture when I was not diverted by some unexpected Providence to lament after the Lord who had cast me out of my employment in his Vineyard and to seek to him for a discovery of the cause for which he contends with me and that he would shew me for what sin or sins he hath sent this sad affliction and that he would give me a sanctified use thereof by purging out my sins and making me more holy and that he would restore me again to some employment in his Vineyard when and where it shall seem good in his sight Being sad and dejected because I had sinned now I was under the afflicting hand of God I was very much revived by Isa 57. 17 18. I smote him he went on in the way of his own heart I have seen his ways and will heal him Having afterward sinned again and been over-powred by a corruption which had oft prevailed over me I was caused to observe from that Scripture further that it was not only a single Act of sin which was committed but he went on in the way of his heart and God saith I have seen his ways and will heal him It was a stay to my Faith Here I observe what I have often found viz. 1. Dejection is a fore-runner of Consolation Seldom have I had trouble upon my Spirit but if I have eyed and followed after God he hath took it off by some word of promise 2. The observing and pondering of every word and Circumstance in a promise is of great use as it hath been to me 3. God openeth his promises gradually sometimes hinting and discovering one thing and then another in the promise Being foiled by sin I was raised to my former hope and affiance in God by Phil Children of God till the coming of Christ Being another time foiled with the same corruption and my heart sinking in a despondent frame I was much revived from Jam. 4. 5. 6. He giveth more grace Where I saw that even our strongest sins such as our corrupt natures are most prone to and are deeply rooted in our hearts and Spirits are conquerable by Gods grace Being troubled that I had sinned against God under his Correcting hand and having thereby lost my former Comfort which God had spoken to my Soul after my former backslidings I sighed over the great Treachery and unstedfastness of my heart and casting about in my thoughts where I should find a sutable word to fix on God brought to my remembrance Isa 48. 8 9. I knew that thou wouldest deal very Treacherously for my Names sake will I defer my Anger While I was musing and pondering hereon and had new hope put into me the Lord let in further Comfort and encouragement from vers 10 11. which is rendred by Piscat Behold I will refine thee and I will make thee a choice one in the furnace of affliction for mine own sake even for mine own sake will I do it Which gave me abundant refreshment and did marvellously strengthen my hope in God This was given me in when I had set apart some time to humble my Soul Apr. 5. 1665. I set apart that day for Fasting and Prayer on behalf of my Daughter Elianor that had been so long sick and in the Evening had my Faith revived from Isa 44. 3 I will pour my Spirit upon thy seed Apr. 7. I began the day with discourse with some Friends before I had been at my private Communion with God I met with a gentle Rebuke from the Providence of God in my Family Affairs and my heart was flat in Family duty and straitned in private I took this as an Item to begin with God before I converse with men In the Evening God came in graciously to me in my Family Exercise Apr. 9. Lords day I was much discomposed in my Spirit in the Morning by reason of a foil sin had given me the Evening before Satan would have boat me off from Preaching in my Family but I performed my Morning exercise and continued dejected till the Evening and then in Family Prayer God graciously revived me with that promise Hos 11. 10. They shall walk after the Lord in Connexion with vers 7. my people are bent to backsliding though they called them to the most high none at all would exalt him Where two things were a great relief to my Faith 1. God promiseth they should walk after him notwithstanding their habitual proness to backslide from God 2. Notwithstanding their refusing to exalt the Lord though called to it Yet within a little time I was again foiled by my corruption which made me see what a poor creature I was it left of God to my self May. 8. At eleven of the Clock at night my daughter Elianor died after a long Sickness God gave me several opportunities of recommending her Soul to him in prayer at some whereof my heart was much affected and my faith and hope acted on God for the eternal welfare of her Soul which made her departure easie to me My grounds were Gen. 17. I will establish my Covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee for an everlasting Covenant to be a God to thee and thy seed after thee I considered that this Covenant is to give life Mal. 2. 5. And whereas the thoughts of the Child 's Original and actual Sins as frowardness c. might make me fearful of its estate It was brought to my mind that the Covenant is to give pardon of sin Heb. 8. 10 12. And whereas faith and regeneration are necessary to Salvation I considered further that the Covenant is to give all things necessary to Salvation 2 Sam. 23. 5. this is all my Salvation Besides the Consideration of the Covenant God gave me other encouragements to hope in reference to my Child as from Math. 19. 14.
hands of mine Enemies and giving me rest and peace from Psal 30. 1. I will extol ' thee O Lord for thou hast lifted me up and hast not made my foes to rejoyce over me and from Psal 31. 7 8. I saw further that Gods giving me rest from mine Enemies should put me upon doing some special eminent Service for God from 2 Sam. 7. 1 2. 1 King 5. 4 5. 1 Chron. 22. 17 18 19. Thus with unwearied pains and zeal in great peace and security with holy rejoycing and thanksgiving did he fulfil the course of his Ministry Yet he satisfied not himself with his work of Preaching but moreover applied himself to writing for the greater Service of the present and future Generation In the time of the raging Pestilence he wrote a Treatise relating to that sore judgment but the Pestilence ceasing before he had finished it he did not Publish it Upon occasion of the destroying Fire of London he composed and published his Counsel to the Afflicted Soon after he Published his Scriptural Catechism with a Treatise of Family Instruction And hath left behind him several other Manuscripts which he designed for the Press As The Cure of the fear of Death A Treatise of Glorïfying God The Best Interest A Warning to Drunkards Some of which at least 't is hoped may see the light The Holy Ghost by St. Paul to Timothy 1 Eph. 3. 4. among other qualifications of a good Minister requireth that he be one that ruleth well his own house having his Children in subjection with all gravity The due Character of our Subject His Treatise of Family Instruction did not reproach him He was indeed quantus Minister tantus Pater Familias It pleased God in much mercy and faithfulness to him to provide for him a Meet-help a most sutable Yoke-fellow a very Prudent Virtuous and Gracious Gentlewoman of a worthy and Religious Family in Cambridgeshire Mrs. Elianor Rant Daughter of Roger Rant of Swaffham Esq whom he took to Wife within less than a year after his Call to Colchester who was a singular Blessing Comfort and Honour to him all his life Few there be to whom Solomons commendation do more properly belong Prov. 31. 26. c. From thenceforth he had incumbent upon him the charge of a Family God gave him six Children whereof he left one only Daughter surviving Upon the account of his own and his Wifes approved Wisdom Grace Gravity and Government many were desirous to get their Children into his Family even those who were of different persuasions from him both in Conformity and Non-Conformity for their better Education in compliance wherewith he received some Youth of the Female Sex that might more properly belong to the care and inspection of his Wife So as for the most part he had a full Family Wherein according to his place he kept up his Authority over all under his Charge but with so much Meekness Prudence and Gravity that though all stood in awe of him yet he was more loved than feared As to his Wife whom he worthily honoured and entirely loved there never arising any Passion or Dispute between them He frequently conversed with her about the Matters of her Soul Enquiring how the case stood between God and her Soul what burdens lay upon her Spirit what grounded hope she had for eternal life c. helping and encouraging her in the ways of Godliness The 9th day of June being the day of their Marriage He never past it over if at home without spending some time with her in solemn prayer to God and conference about the several passages of his providence towards them since they came into that Relation In the conclusion whereof he was always more affected with and thankful for mercies than dejected or cast down at afflictions though he met with some considerable tryals not only in his Family as the loss of so many hopeful Children c. but also abroad and that from those that knew better It was his manner not only in his more private and secret retirements but also in the performance of his family duty to commend her particularly to God at the throne of grace As to his Children very early before they were past the lap he would himself be instructing of them in Gods word ordering them to get some Scriptures by heart which best suited their childhood and capacity four of them died in infancy and Childhood none having reached the full age of 5 years Concerning whom he had much Satisfaction as to their Eternal salvation His first born a daughter attained to the age of 19 years and died who had been so instructed by her Father that before she was 8 years old she under stood the method of a Sermon and if Preached by her Father would give him an account of the most considerable heads and passages therein and before she was full 9 years of age she would pen down a Sermon after him and miss but few or none of the heads with some considerable enlargement also About this time of her age God Suffered her corruption to exert it self in some open Acts to the observation of others which exposed her to the severe rebuke of her Parents which God sanctified to her conviction And as she grew up she quickly gave evidence of the truth of Grace and power of Godliness making progress therein beyond her years having a great and Zealous love to the Ordinances Ministers and Servants of Christ Dissembling the weakness and infirmities of her body that she might have liberty to attend the Ordinances of God for her Soul walking closely with God in daily secret duty strictly keeping the Sabbaths taking speciall notice of the workings of Grace and Sin and Gods providential dealings with her recording them in her diary and under a long and mortal sickness expressing a most christian Patience and Submission to the Will of God As to his Servants so soon as they came into his family he instructed them first in their duty towards God next in the duty of their places giving them the evidence and authority of Scripture for that which he instructed them in and expected from them enjoyning them to get those Scriptures by heart which they were to keep in memory and repeat to him as he called for them As to his family together after his own personal secret retirement and devotion in reading the Holy Scriptures in course and Prayer which was his first and last exercise after his uprising and before his downlying His manner was in the morning seeking God first by a short Prayer for a blessing to read some portion of Scripture which he often also Expounded and then to proceed to Prayer and at night after the like reading of the Scripture he required every Child that was capable and Servant to repeat one verse of that Chapter or some other Scripture which they had a desire might be explained to them and of every such verse so repeated he gave the sense and speak
but of God Joh. 1. 13. and that God giveth power to the faint and strength to them that have no might in a way of waiting Isa 40. 29 31. I saw from these considerations further ground of hope and waiting upon God notwithstanding I find my strength perished from me Neither shall the guilt of my Sin discourage me from waiting on God from expecting of his Holy Spirit from going to Christ The whole need not a Physitian Christ deales with Sinners Mar. 2. 17. He hath said he will in no wise cast out them that come to him Joh. 6. 37. why did he shed his blood to wash away our sins How is he the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins of the world if he should cast off guilty Souls when they come unto him Is there not a fountain opened for sin and for uncleanness to wash in Zach. 13. 1. What though I be in my blood yet if I go to Christ he will not loath me Ezek. 16. 6 8. but will sprinkle clean water upon me and wash me from my filthyness Ezek. 36. 25. When therefore I find guilt upon me I will look to Jesus Christ in such promises as these Isa 1. 18. 43. 25 26. 44. 21 22. I will cry unto him that I may have the pardon of my sin Sealed up to my Soul in these promises by his Holy Spirit Neither shall my rebellious heart the perverseness and corruption of my Nature discourage me but I will with David beg a new heart and a right Spirit Ps 51. 10. I will say as Ephraim Jer. 31. 18. Turn thou me and I shall be turned God hath sent Christ to bless us in turning us from our iniquities Act. 3. 26. and to destroy what Satan hath wrought in us 1. Joh. 3. 8. therefore when I feel sin prevail and lead me captive I will with Paul cry out of this body of death Rom. 7. 24. and go to God in Jesus Christ through such promises as these Mic. 7. 18 19. Rom. 6. 14. Math. 11. 28. Isa 45. 22. Jer. 31. 33. Ezek. 36. 26. When I feel my self graceless I will look to him who is full of grace Joh. 1. 14. 16. and hath promised to give grace Ps 84. 11 even an heart to love him Deut. 30. 6. and to put his fear into us Jer. 32. 40. and to withhold no good thing if we endeavour to walk uprightly before him Ps 84. 11. When I find the plague of an hard dead heart upon me I will look unto the Lord who quickens the dead Rom. 4. 17. and can raise Children to Abraham out of Stones Math. 3. 9. I will look unto him in his Covenant promising to take away the heart of Stone and to give an heart of flesh Ezek. 36. 26. In time of desertion when God withdraws the comfortable influences of his presence I will not be discouraged but I will search my heart and try my ways and see what cause I have given the Lord to depart from me Lam. 3. 40. Josh 7. 11. 12 13. Isa 59. 2. I will earnestly seek the Lord that he would return and shine upon me and lift up the light of his countenance upon my Soul Ps 80. 3. 89. 46. Hos 5. 15. I will not only pray but wait for his return Ps 130. 5 6. Isa 8. 17. Lam. 3. 2 3. c. with 26. and in waiting I will look unto the Lord in these or like promises Ps 103. 8 9. Isa 54. 6 7 8. 57. 16 17 18. Lam. 3. 31 32. Hos 6. 1 2 3. Joh. 14. 18. When I have neglected my watch and fallen and been unstedfast in Covenant with God I will not despair but look to God in Christ that he would pardon my sin grant me repentance and restore me The Covenant of grace admits of repentance after sin Levit. 26. 21. 40. 41 42. Yea God hath exalted Christ to give repentance Act. 5. 31. hath promised to heal back-slidings Hos 14. 4. invites backsliders to return Jer. 3. 1 12 13 14. How did David behave himself when Iniquities prevailed over him He goeth to God to purge away his transgression Ps 65. 3. he maketh Supplication to God that he would not cast him out of his presence Ps 51. 11. he confesseth his sin and God pardons him Ps 32. 5. which should encourage all the Godly when they have fallen to return to the Lord ver 6. St. John layeth strict charge upon Believers that they sin not but in case of Sin he would not have them despair 1 Joh. 2. 1 2. Solomon prayed to this purpose 1 Kings 8. and God accepted ch 9 3. When therefore thou hast fallen O my Soul by thine iniquity and God hid his face and withdraws his gracious presence let thy uncircumcised heart be humbled accept of the punishment of thy sin Turn unto the Lord and and say Take away all iniquity and receive me graciously So will I praise thee Lev. 26. 41. Hos 14. 2. Let not thy falls cause thee to depart from the Living God Though thou hast played the harlot with many Lovers yet the Lord calleth thee to return Jer. 3. 1. God commands us to forgive our Brother seven times a day if he return and repent Luk. 17. 4. yea not only seven times but seventy times seven Math. 18. 21 22. And will not God much more forgive us though we fall oft if we return and seek his face Seeing his ways are far above our ways Isa 55. 7 9. Dec. 9. 1655. Having found much formality in my duties on the Sabbath and seeing my self lost in them I put the question to my Soul what if thou die this night What is thy hope How wilt thou appear before God Righteousness of thine own thou hast none to trust to thou seest how thou sinnest every day and how full of sin thy best duties are Upon this enquiry the good Spirit of God brought to my remembrance 1 Cor. 1. 30. God hath made Christ Righteousness to us and Jer. 23. 6. This is the Name by which he shall be called The Lord our Righteousness which was comfort to me and enquiring what warrant I had to believe my self to be a sharer in this Righteousness and that I stand accepted of God by vertue of this Righteousness I saw from Rom. 3. 21 22. that this Righteousness is upon all that believe Now through the Lords goodness and to his Praise be it spoken I have oftimes found my heart not only to long after pardon and renovation but to trust in Christ and in God through him for pardoning mercy and renewing grace and all other good things Dec. 16. I found the Lord graciously present with me in my morning meditation on my Bed And my Soul was much refreshed with Mr. Simond's Sermon God spake a sutable word by him to my Soul from Mat. 15. 23. But he answered her not a word God may sometimes defer to give an Answer to a gracious and well qualified Prayer 1. To correct our