may serve the Lord in newness of life all their daies And if this be the duty of Believers and Christian Parents under the Gospel it will thence follow that those that wilfully neglect it as much as in them lies do withhold their Children from Christ debar them of the blood of Sprinkling keep them from the blessing leave them under the curse cast them out of Gods Family and dangerously expose them to the Adversary both of God and man II. The Second Duty of Parents is to teach and instruct their children to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Eph. 6.4 Having given them up to Christ by Baptism let them imagine they hear our blessed Saviour saying to them as Pharoahs Daughter said to Moses's Mother Exod. 2.19 Bring up this child for me c. They must as Solomon speaks Prov. 22.6 Train up their Children in the way they should go They must have a special care to provide that they may be rightly instructed and educated As soon therefore as they come to the use of reason they are to be instructed in those things that concern their everlasting welfare They are by little and little to be taught all those things which God hath commanded them as their duty to perform As also what abundance of joy and comfort they will find in the practise of them and what glorious rewards God hath provided for them if they do them and what grievous punishments if they do them not These things ought to be early instilled into their minds which like new vessels do usually keep the savour of that which is first put into them The seeds and principles of Religion and vertue are to be sown in them betimes and their minds possess'd with a love of goodnesse and an abhorrence and detestation of evil and wickednesse as that which is shamefull and abominable If they be not thus early acquainted with the waies of God the devil that arch enemy of souls will be ready and forward enough to instill his wicked principles into them and to blow up the corruption of their natures and hurry them on in waies leading down to endlesse perdition And what a sad account will those Parents give to God who have neglected their duty in this kinde suffering their children to remain almost as rude and ignorant and unacquainted with the principles of Christian Religion and their duty to God and man as if they had been born among Pagans and Infidels III. A Third duty of Parents is To bless their children and that 1. By their prayers They should by daily and earnest prayers commend them to Gods favour and blessing craving all needfull mercies both temporal and spiritual for them Children of many prayers seldom miscarry 2. By labouring to be such persons themselves so truly Religious that a blessing may descend from them on their posterity This is frequently promised in the Scripture to Godly men That their seed shall be blessed The best course any Parents can take to intail a blessing on their children is to be truly gracious themselves IV. They ought to set them a good example else all their precepts and counsels will do no good How many Parents are there that by their wicked conversation do corrupt and deprave their own children This Consideration laies a most strict tie and obligation upon all Parents to lead an holy and religious life else they do not only hazzard their own souls but indanger their childrens also And what an inhumane cruelty is that V. They must watch over them and by a prudent discipline govern them and guard their education 1. Encouraging them when they do well and winning them by love and a fair and kind carriage that they may delight to do their duties Some Parents by too much austerity and harshnesse and a rigorous use of their parentall authority provoke and exasperate their children so that they dread coming into their presence and have no heart to study to please them seeing they will afford them no countenance This is contrary to what the Apostle prescribes Col. 3.21 Parents provoke not your children to wrath c. 2. If fair means perswasions and encouragements will not prevail nor make them mind their duties then another course must be taken Sober yet sharp reproof must be used If that fail too then correction becomes necessary For in this case as Solomon saies He that spareth his rod hateth his son Prov. 13.24 'T is a cruell and foolish fondnesse to spare stripes when all other means have been unsuccessfull But this correction should be 1. Timely before children have been suffered to run on so long that they have got a habit to evil and have contracted a stubbornnesse of Will 2. Moderate not exceeding the quality of the fault nor the tendernesse of the child 3. Not inflicted in anger for then the Child will think he is corrected not so much for his fault as because his Father is angry He must therefore be made sensible of his fault shewed the evil and danger of it and directed how to amend it and this is the way with Gods blessing to reform him VI. They must maintain them and allow them a competency according to their estates for their comfortable subsistence Some Parents are of such a covetous humour they cannot abide to part with any thing almost as long as they live And thereby 1. Lessen their Childrens Affection towards them so that some have proceeded so far as to wish their Parents death Which though it be such a horrible sin as no provocation from a Parent can excuse in a child yet 't is also a fault in a Parent to give such a temptation 2. It puts them upon shifts and sharking tricks to maintain themselves and acquaints them with bad company and makes them surfeit the sooner when they come to their estates 3. The Parents hereby loose that contentment which they might have in seeing their Children live prosperously and comfortably which is such a joy and contentment that none but a Miser or Earth-worm would exchange for that poor pleasure of having Money in the Chest VII They must provide some good and honest profession or some fit way of employment for them that so they may be serviceable in their generation to God and the World and may avoid Idleness that great snare of the Devil VIII They must lay up for them and provide for them as God shall give means as 't is 2 Cor. 12.14 The children ought not to lay up for the Parents but the Parents for the children But let the Parent be careful to get that wealth honestly which he makes his childes portion lest a curse go along with it Let him satisfie himself to make such provisions for his children as God shall enable him honestly to make A little honestly got being better than great riches gotten unjustly and unrighteously Prov. 16.8 Better is a little with righteousnesse than great revenues without right IX And lastly
to watchfulnesse ibid. Of Perseverance Pag. 289 Of mental ejaculatory prayer Pag. 293 Of reviewing at night and reflecting upon all the actions of the day past Pag. 296 Chap. 6. Of improving the opportunities and means of Grace Pag. 301 Of the observation of the Lords day ibid. Of hearing the Word How we are to prepare our selves before we hear how to behave our selves in time of hearing what to do after we have heard Pag. 319 Of singing Psalms Pag. 340 Of religious Conference Pag. 349 Of Meditation Pag. 354 Chap. 7. Of frequenting good company Pag. 358 Chap. 8. Of diligence and conscientiousnesse in our particular Callings Pag. 365 Chap. 9. Concerning just dealing in trafick trading and commerce Pag. 372 Directions to buyers Pag. 373 To Sellers Pag. 375 Motives to righteous dealing Pag. 377 Of restitution Pag. 378 Chap. 10. Of the duties of Governours of Families Pag. 382 Of Family-Prayer Pag. 387 Chap. 11. Of the duties of Husband and Wife Pag. 397 Chap. 12. Of the duties of Masters nnd Servants Pag. 415 Chap. 13. Of the duties of Parents and Children Pag. 428 Of Infant-Baptism ibid. Chap. 14. Of the duties of such as are in Office and the duties of Inferiours Pag. 448 Chap. 15. Of the duties of people towards their Pastours and Ministers Pag. 452 Chap. 16. Of Christian and Brotherly reproof Pag. 546 Chap. 17. Of the duties of the Rich and poor Of those that concern the rich Pag. 483 Of Recreations Pag. 490 Of Charity and relieving the poor Pag. 492 Directions concerning the exercise of charity Pag. 494 Of the duties that concern the poor Pag. 498 Their Temptations and dangers Pag. 504 Chap. 18. Of the duties of Young and Old Of those that concern the young Pag. 509 The danger of delaies Pag. 510 The advantages of turning to God betimes Pag. 513 Objections against it answered Pag. 515 Directions to the younger sort Pag. 519 Of the duties of the Ancient ibid. Serious considerations for the Ancient Pag. 524 The danger of ill-grounded hopes of Heaven Pag. 528 What those deceiving and sandy foundations are whereon many ancient people build their hopes of Heaven Pag. 529 Directions to the Ancient Pag. 534 Chap. 19. Directions to the healthy and to the sick The duties of those that are in health Pag. 539 Directions and counsel to the sick Pag. 541 How to examine themselves Pag. 543 Of the duties commanded and sins forbidden in the Law or ten Commandments Pag. 545 Of the sins against the Gospel Pag. 556 Further directions to the Sick Pag. 564 The Lessons to be learned in the School of affliction Pag. 567 What things are required of them whom God brings out of trouble and affliction Pag. 570 Chap. 20. Of the four last things Death Judgment Hell Heaven Pag. 577 1. Of Death ib. Directions how to prepare for death ib. Reasons why those that are Godly should not overmuch fear death Pag. 582 2. Of the last Judgment Pag. 587 Arguments to prove there will be a day of judgment Pag. 588 Who will be the Judge Pag. 591 The nature and manner of this judgment Pag. 594 A threefold Book that will then be opened Pag. 598 The consequents of this judgment Pag. 599 3. Of Hell Pag. 602 Of the duration of the persons of the damned ib. Of the duration of their pains Pag. 606 Of the dreadfulnesse of their pains and torments Pag. 608 Of Heaven Pag. 617 Of the resurrection of the body Pag. 622 Of the Glory of the body Pag. 625 Of the blessednesse of the soul Pag. 628 ERRATA THe Reader is desired to Correct these Errata's with his pen that the sense be not disturbed Page 17. line 15. of him is wanting after invisible things p. 20. the last Scripture viz. Gen 48.16 should have been left out as being spoken not of a created Angel but the Angel of the Covenant p. 43. l. 10. dele of God p. 71. l. 3. after offered read one l. 4. after sins r. for ever p. 101 l. 27. after Christ r. v. 8. By grace ye are saved through faith and that not c. p. 129 l. 1. the 47 v. of Mar. 9. is left out p. 132 l. 21. for not r. ever p. 137. l 21. for calender r. calendar p. 141. l. 18. dele three p. 144. l 27. for the r. thee p. 146. l. 45. for This is the soul r. Thus is the soul p. 165. l. 11. dele therefore p. 173. l. 8. dele Isa 48. 17. p. 180. l. 15. for my being r. any being p. 181. l. 4. for and four beasts r. and the four beasts p. 240. l. 13. for spirit r. spirits p. 246. l. 3. after unlawfull r. and customary l. 16. for scurrulous r. scurrilous p 253. l. 4. for persons whom r. persons to whom p. 263. l. 26. for watch r. walk p 301. l 13. for meditations r. meditation p. 209. l. 10. for the first of the r. the first day of the. p. 346. l. 20. for psams r. psalms p. 360. l. 6. for to kind r. to its kind p. 413. l. 29. for stretched r. stretcheth p. 439. l. 10. for that that they do it r. for that they do as one saies p. 482. l. 1. for beareth r. heareth p. 512. l. 19. for dost really r. dost not really p. 514. l. 15. for twelfth bour r. eleventh hour p. 525. l. 16. for pag. 510 r. page 511. p. 528. l. 18. for peâ—suming r. presuming p. 541. l. 9. for partie r. parties l. 13. for cna r. can p. 551. l. 1. for visiting r. of visiting p 567 l. 8. for corectest r. correctest p. 569. l. 23. for Oh r. O. p. 570. l. 6. for our r. your p. 581. l. ult for his r. this p. 589. l. 4. after conscience r. only p. 609. l. 17. dele or p. 627. l. 7. for or r. and. KNOWLEDGE PRACTICE OR A Discourse of things necessary to be Known Believed and Practised in order to Salvation TWo things are mainly necessary to Salvation Right Knowledge Right Practice The chief things to be Known and Believed are Concerning God Man The Mediator between God and Man Concerning God we are to Know three things 1. His Nature 2. His Properties or Attributes 3. His Workes Concerning Man three things 1. The happy Condition in which he was made 2. His Fall 3. The way of his Recovery by Christ Concerning the Mediator between God and Man seaven things 1. What manner of Person he was 2. How he came into the World 3. How he lived here 4. How he died 5. What became of him after his Death 6. What was the end and intent of his coming into the World 7. What they are effectually Called unto and through the assistance of the Spirit of God enabled to perform who shall receive Remission of sins by Christ CHAP. I. Concerning God COncerning God we are to know three things 1. His Nature 2. His Properties or Attributes 3. His Workes First His Nature That there is one Onely true God
those under his charge do the like Every Governour of a Family should resolve with pious Joshuah Josh 24.15 But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. Observe it True Religion and the power of Godliness hath there usually most flourished where the Lords day hath been most conscientiously observed And many direful judgments have befallen the violators and prophaners of it Gen. 2.2 And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made and he rested on the seventh day from all the work which he had made V. 3. And God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made Lev. 23.3 Six daies shall thy work be done but the seventh day is the Sabbath of rest an holy convocation ye shall do no work therein it is the Sabbath of the Lord in all your dwellings Nehem. 13.19 And it came to passe that when the gates of Jerusalem began to be dark before the Sabbath I commanded that the gates should be shut and charged that they should not be opened till after the Sabbath and some of my servants set I at the gates that there should no burden be brought in on the Sabbath day Isa 58.13 If thou turn away thy feet from the Sabbath from doing thy pleasure on my holy day and call the Sabbath a delight the holy of the Lord honourable and shalt honour him not doing thine own waies nor finding thine own pleasure nor speaking thine own words Luke 23.54 And that day was the preparation and the Sabbath drew on V. 56. And they returned and prepared spices and ointments and rested the Sabbath day according to the Commandement Exod. 23.12 Six daies shalt thou do thy work and on the seventh day thou shalt rest that thine Oxe and thine Asse may rest and the son of thine hand-maid and the stranger shall be refreshed Ezek. 22.26 Her Priests have violated my Law and have prophaned mine holy things they have put no difference between the holy and prophane neither have they shewed difference between the unclean and the clean and have hid their eies from my Sabbaths and I am prophaned among them Ezek. 23.38 Moreover this they have done unme they have defiled my Sanctuary in the same day and have prophaned my Sabbaths Amos 8.4 Saying when will the New Moon be gone that we may sell corn and the Sabbath that we may set forth wheat c. Lam. 1.7 Jerusalem remembred in the daies of her affliction and of her miseries all her pleasant things that she had in the daies of old when her people fell into the hand of the enemy and none did help her the adversaries saw her and did mock at her Sabbaths Ezek. 20.20 Hallow my Sabbaths and they shall be a sign between me and you that ye may know that I am the Lord your God Isa 56.2 Blessed is the man that doth this and the son of man that layeth hold on it that keepeth the Sabbath from polluting it and keepeth his hand from doing evil V. 4. For thus saith the Lord unto the Eunuches that keep my Sabbaths and chuse the things that please me and take hold of my Covenant V. 6. Also the sons of the stranger that joyn themselves to the Lord to serve him and to love the Name of the Lord to be his servants every one that keepeth the Sabbath from polluting it and taketh hold of my Covenant V. 7. Even them will I bring to my holy Mountain and make them joyful in my house of prayer their burnt Offerings and their Sacrifices shall be accepted upon mine Altar for mine house shall be called an house of prayer for all people Mark 2.27 And he said unto them the Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath V. 28. Therefore the Son of man is Lord also of the Sabbath Psal 92. Title A Psalm or Song for the Sabbath day Mat. 5.17 Think not that I am come to destroy the Law or the Prophets I am not come to destroy but to fulfill Luke 4.16 And he came to Nazareth where he had been brought up and as his custome was he went into the Synagogue on the Sabbath day and stood up for to read Acts 20.7 And upon the first day of the week when the Disciples came together to break bread Paul preached unto them ready to depart on the morrow and continued his speech untill midnight 1 Cor. 16.1 Now concerning the Collection for the Saints as I have given order to the Churches of Galatia even so do ye V. 2. Upon the first day of the week let every one of you lay up in store as God hath prospered him that there be no gatherings when I come Rev. 1.10 I was in the Spirit on the Lords day Psal 118.24 This is the day which the Lord hath made we will rejoyce and be glad in it 2. Hearing the Word We live in an age wherein through the rich mercy of God there is much good preaching but 't is a general complaint there is so little profiting We see not those gracious effects of the Word that were to be desired and wished And certainly one main reason of it is few take care to hear in a right manner as they ought to do That therefore thou maist so hear as to profit I shall shew thee 1. What thou art to do before thou hearest by way of preparation 2. What thou art to do in time of Hearing 3. What after thou hast Heard For the First Thou must prepare thy heart before thou comest to hear Rash entring on duties is seldom successeful If the ground be not prepared the seed is lost that is sown therein Plow up the fallow ground of your hearts saies the Prophet Jer. 4.3 and sow not among thorns In a fallow piece of ground you know thorns and briers weeds and thistles use to grow And such a thing is mans heart naturally which if let alone and no paines taken with it will quickly be overgrown with hurtful cares stinking lusts and distempered affections And therefore St. James adviseth Jam. 1.21 That before we go to hear the Word we should lay apart all filthinesse and superfluity of naughtinesse i. e. all evil frames of heart And how hard a matter that is I appeal to the experience of every true and sincere Christian That holy man Gerson professes he many times spent some hours before he could get his heart in tune for solemn duties Gods children have entred comfortably on duties â—hen they have been serious and careful in their preparations for them To help thee therefore to prepare thy heart for the Word take these Directions 1. Lay aside as much as possibly thou canst all worldly thoughts cares and businesses that thy mind may be free for God and the impressions of his Word and holy Spirit On Saturday night shut up the gates of thy heart against the world as Nehemiah Chap. 13. v. 19.20 did the
his gracious promises and providence in the use of lawful means expecting successe from him alone according to that of the Psalmist Psal 37.5 Commit thy way unto the Lord trust also in him and he shall bring it to passe 2. Moderation of affections Be not over-eager nor inordinately bent on thy worldly affairs Remember our Saviours precept Let not your hearts be overcharged with surfetting and drunkennesse and the cares of this life Luke 21.34 Pursue not thy worldly business with too much anxiety and fervour of mind 3. Contentation Be content with that portion little or much which God upon thy honest labours shall please to allot thee quietly acquiesce in his wise disposal 4. Patience Be not dismaid neither fret nor repine at those crosses and troubles which befall thee in the way and course of thy calling considering God doth often exercise his own dearest children with many afflictions V. Let not thy particular calling too much incroach upon thy general The world is of an incroaching nature 'T is hard to converse with it and not come into bondage to it Worldly employments will be apt to justle out Spiritual duties if thou hast not a great care Now the true Christian should especially look to these two things 1. That his worldly businesse do not eat up and devour that time which should be set apart every day for communion with God and for the exercise of religions duties 2. That his worldly employments do not blunt the edge of his affections to Spiritual things Thou maist use the world but take heed of loving the world 1 John 2.15 16. Love not the world neither the things that are in the world if any man love the world the love of the Father is not in him For all that is in the world the lust of the flesh the lust of the eye and the pride of life is not of the Father but is of this world VI. Labour carefully to avoid the temptations that thy particular calling is most liable unto Every calling and condition of life hath its peculiar temptations And a great deal of care and Christian prudence is required to foresee them and avoid them that so we be not insnared with them VII In the mannaging of thy worldly affairs endeavour to carry a Heavenly mind Be often lifting up thy â—â—â—rt in Spiritual and Heavenly meditations Think how little it will profit thee if thou shouldst gain the whole world and loose thy soul Think how Godliness is profitable for all things having the promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come 1 Tim. 4.8 Remember thou art but a pilgrim and a stranger here upon earth Heaven is the proper Country of holy souls VIII When success crowns thy faithful endeavours in thy calling let God have all the Glory If thou speed well thrive and prosper sacrifice not to thy own net to thy wit parts industry or any second cause but ascribe the Glory wholly to him in whose hands alone it is to give successe 1 Thes 4.11 Study to be quiet and do your own businesse and to work with your own hands as we commanded you V. 12. That ye may walk honestly towards them that are without and that ye may have lack of nothing 2 Thes 3.11 For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly working not at all but are busie bodies V. 12. Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ that with quietnesse they work and eat their own bread Prov. 18.9 He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a greaâ—â—aster Prov. 21.17 He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man he that loveth wine and Oil shall not be rich Prov. 28.19 He that tilleth his land shall have plenty of bread but he that followeth after vain persons shall have poverty enough 1 Tim. 5.8 But if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house he hath denied the Faith and is worse than an Infidel Prov. 26.13 The slothful man saith there is a lion in the way a lion is in the streets V. 14. As the door turneth upon his hinges so doth the slothful upon his bed V. 15. The slothful hideth his hands in his bosom it grieveth him to bring it again to his mouth V. 16. The sluggard is wiser in his own conceit than seven men that can render a reason Prov. 6.6 Go to the Ant thou sluggard consider her waies and be wise V. 7. Which having no guide overseer or ruler V. 8. Provideth her meat in the Summer and gathereth her food in the harvest V. 9. How long wilt thou sleep O sluggard when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep V. 10. Yet a little sleep a little slumber a little folding of the hands to sleep V. 11. So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth and thy want as an armed man Mat. 25.26 His Lord answered and said unto him thou wicked and slothful servant c. Psal 128.1 Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord that walketh in his waies V. 2. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands happy shalt thou be and it shall be well with thee Prov. 10.4 He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand but the hand of the diligent maketh rich Prov. 22.7 The rich ruleth over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender Prov. 31.27 She looketh well to the waies of her household and eateth not the bread of Idlenesse Eph. 4.28 Let him that stole steal no more but rather let him labour working with his hands the thing which is good that he may have to give to him that needeth CHAP. IX Concerning just dealing in Traffick Trading and Commerce OBserve a strict integrity and uprightness in all occasions of intercourse matters of traffick commerce and bargaining making Conscience to be true in thy words faithful in thy promises punctual in thy performances and in all things dealing justly and uprightly doing to others according to our Saviours Golden rule Luke 6.31 As thou wouldst that others should do to thee Mat. 7.12 Whatsoever ye would with a rectified judgment and an honest heart that men should do to you even so do ye to them for this is the Law and the Prophets In all contracts and acts of commerce with others 't is good to put our selves in their stead and to make frequent appeals to our own Consciences and to ask our selves Would I be thus dealt with Would I be content to have this measure measured to my self Should I if it were my own case think this fair dealing if used towards my self Paul saies Gal. 5.14 All the Law is fulfilled in one word that is all that part of the Law which concerns our duty towards man Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thy self This expression prescribes the manner of our love not the measure of it a parity or likenesse for kind not for degree or
discern their failings Not with eye service Eph. 6.6 Good servants when their Masters eye is not upon them see him that is invisible and desire to perform the duties of their places carefully and conscientiously that they may escape not only their Masters but Gods anger who will call them to account So much of the duties of servants The Motives to incourage them to a cheerfull performance of them are these two 1. By performing their duties in this manner they will adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour Tit. 2.10 The world will then see True Religion is not meerly a Name but a powerfull thing rendring men good in all their relations It will render Religion amiable to the World 2. They shall not lose their reward God will plentifully reward them if out of conscience to his command they be faithfull Eph. 6.8 Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doth the same shall he receive of the Lord whether he be bond or free Col. 3.24 Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance for ye serve the Lord Christ. Let servants therefore set these two motives alwaies before their eyes to make them faithfull and cheerfull in their duties Eph. 6.5 Servants be obedient to them that are your Masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling in singleness of your heart as unto Christ V. 6. Not with eye-service as men-pleasers but as the servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart V. 7. With good will doing service as to the Lord and not to men V. 8. Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doth the same shall he receive of the Lord whether he be bond or free Col. 3.22 Servants obey in all things your Masters according to the flesh not with eie service as men pleasers but in singlenesse of heart fearing God V. 23. And whatsoever ye do do it heartily as to the Lord and not unto men V. 24. Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of inheritance for ye serve the Lord Christ. V. 25. But he that doth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done and there is no respect of persons 1 Tim. 6.1 Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own Masters worthy of all honour that the Name of God and his Doctrine be not blasphemed V. 2. And they that have believing Masters let them not despise them because they are brethren but rather do them service because they are believing and beloved partakers of the benefit These things teach and exhort Tit. 2.9 Exhort Servants to be obedient to their own Masters and to please them well in all things not answering again V. 10. Not purloyning but shewing all good fidelity that they may adorn the Doctrine of God our Saviour in all things 1 Pet. 2.18 Servants be subject to your Masters with all fear not only to the good and gentle but also to the froward V. 19. For this is thank-worthy if a man for Conscience toward God endure grief suffering wrongfully V. 20. For what Glory is it if when ye be buffeted for your faults ye shall take it patiently but if when ye do well and suffer for it ye take it patiently this is acceptable with God Mat. 8.9 For I am a man under authority having Souldiers under me and I say to this man go and he goeth and to another come and he cometh and to my servant do this and he doeth it Luke 16.2 Give an account of thy Stewardship c. Prov. 30.21 For three things the earth is disquieted c. V. 22. For a Servant when he reigneth c. CHAP. XIII Of the Duties of Parents and Children FIrst Of the Duties belonging to Parents which are these Nine I. To dedicate their children to Christ in their infancy and by the Sacrament of Baptism to enter them into his Family This is a Duty Parents ought not to delay It being most reasonable that they who have been instruments to convey the stain and pollution of sin to their poor Infants should be careful early to bring them to Christ and give them up to him to be washed with his blood and to be sanctified by his holy Spirit For Infants stand in need of Christ for their Saviour They are capable of Grace and the principle of a new life as well as of Original sin They are capable of the Spirit of Christ of being united to him of being blessed by him They are capable of receiving a Sacrament viz Baptism the Circumcision made without hands Col. 2.11 12. as well as the Infants of the Jewes who were Circumcised and thereby admitted visible members of that Church and seal'd and marked as it were for God And 't is plain the Covenant of Grace stands now in force to the Children of Believers under the Gospel Act. 2.39 The promise is to yâ—â— and to your Children Were it not so the converted Jewes should have losse by believing in Christ if their children should be excluded from the promise who stood in it two thousand years before under the other administration And how then could the blessing of Abraham come on the Gentiles According to Galat. 3.14 Which blessing was I will be a God to thee and to thy Seed Gen. 17.7 How could Believers be Heirs according to the promise as 't is Gal. 3.29 if their Children should be excluded from the promise For the Childrens right to the promise is part of the Fathers inheritance The promise is I will be a God to thee and to thy seed Further consider how the Covenant of Grace for substance though not for manner of administration hath alwaies been one and the same And in the Old Testament it took in Children And can we think it leaves them out now under the Gospel Therefore seeing the Children of Believing and Christian Parents are within the Covenant they ought to partake of the Seal of the Covenant and to be admitted visible Church-members by Baptisme the only way under the Gospel of admitting members into the Church Gods Seal is to be put upon them in their Infancy and when they come to riper years they are to ratifie and confirm their engagement If they will own that Master and faithfully serve him into whose Family they were listed when young they may enjoy many happy priviledges thereby if not they shall be sure to smart for their falling off and Apostacy Therefore Christian Parents should early bring their Children to Christ and by Baptism enter them and enroll them into his Family humbly beseeching him to receive them into his Favour and Love into his Care and Protection to unite them to himself by his holy Spirit to regenerate them to destroy the old Adam the corrupt nature in them and to renew them after his own Image in knowledge holinesse and righteousnesse and lastly to strengthen them by his Grace that they may resist and prevail against the world the flesh and the Devil and
they must command them only lawful and reasonable things using their power and authority over them with equity and moderation and with a gentle hand In all things of moment they require of them let them consider the real good and benefit of their children and guide themselves by that and not meerly their own advantage or pleasure or the exercise of their own authority This is a Rule as one saies well whereof Parents may often have use but especially in the businesse of marrying their children wherein many Parents out of a covetous humour to bestow them wealthily have forc'd them to marry against their inclinations and where they could not love which is a horrible Tyranny and thereby have betrayed them to infinite mischiefs such as all the wealth in the world cannot repair There are two things therefore saies the same Author that Parents ought especially to consider in the matching of their children 1. That they may live Christianly and to that purpose to chuse a pious and vertuous person to link them with that may not be like to hinder but to further them on in the way to Heaven This ought principally and above all other things to be minded 2. That they may live comfortably and cheerfully in this world And to that end though a competency of estate may be necessary to be regarded yet surely abundance is not requisite and therefore that should not be too vehemently sought after That which much more tends to the happiness of that State is the mutual kindnesse and liking of the parties without which marriage is of all other the most uncomfortable condition therefore no Parent ought to force a child into it Eph. 6.4 And ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Col. 3.21 Fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged 2 Cor. 12.14 For the children ought not to lay up for the Parents but the Parents for the children 1 Tim. 5.8 But if any provide not for his own especially for those of his own house he hath denied the faith and is worse then an Infidell Deut. 6.7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest down and when thou risest up Prov. 19.18 Chasten thy son while there is hope and let not thy soul spare for his crying Prov. 13.24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes Prov. 29.17 Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest yea he shall give delight unto thy soul Prov. 22.15 Foolishnesse is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him Prov. 10.1 A wise son maketh a glad father but a foolish son is the heavinesse of his mother Prov. 1.8 My son hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother Deut. 4.9 Onely take heed to thy self and keep thy soul diligently lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen and lest they depart from thy heart all the daies of thy life but teach them thy sons and thy Sons sons Duties of Children towards their Parents Children owe to their Parents these three duties especially 1. Reverence 2. Obedience 3. Thankfulnesse I. Reverence which they must expresse 1. By honouring them in their hearts bearing not only an awe and respect but a kindnesse and affection towards them loving their persons fearing to do any thing may justly provoke them and highly esteeming them as the instruments under God of their being Lev. 19.3 Ye shall fear every man his Mother and his Father The Mother is placed first because children though they stand most in need of their Mothers in their younger years yet when they are grown up many times do most wickedly neglect and despise them But how cursed a thing it is to set light by Parents and even in our secretest thoughts to despise them God himself declares Deut. 27.16 Cursed be he that setteth light by his Father or his Mother and all the people shall say Amen 2. By speaking to them with due respect and regard and to others of them What a heinous sin then is mocking Parents Prov. 30.17 The eye that mocketh at his Father and despiseth to obey his Mother the Ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young Eagle shall eat it But there is a more horrid Crime than that which is cursing Parents Exod. 21.17 And he that curseth his Father or his Mother shall surely be put to death And to this Head we may refer that great and high offence that those wretched Children are guilty of who either through impatience of the Government or greedinesse of the possessions of their Parents do wish their deaths And let them not think to excuse themselves by saying they wish them in Heaven for that they do it not so much that they may have ease and rest at their journies end as because they must needs take death in the way But whoever does thus embrue his soul in bloudy wishes of his Parents death let him know there is one above that sees and observes that great wickedness And if long life be promised as a reward of honouring Parents 't is very agreeable to Divine Justice that untimely death be the punishment of the contrary And so they who so eagerly desire the death of their Parents take the direct course untimely to meet with their own 3. By giving them in their outward carriage all due respect and observance behaving themselves with humility towards them and giving them all those signs and expressions of civil honour which are to be paid by Inferiours to Superiours How contrary to this is that detestable sin of smiting Parents Exod. 21.15 And he that smiteth his Father or his Mother shall be surely put to death The punishment the Heathens inflicted on such unnatural children was to sew them in a sack with a dog cat viper and ape as emblems of unnaturalness and so drown'd them together So much doth the very Light of Nature abhor such monstrous undutifulness II. Obedience which they must manifest 1. By hearkning to their instructions and carefully laying up their precepts in their hearts especially those that concern the welfare of their Souls There is ordinarily such a pride and headinesse in youth that they are apt to slight the counsels and directions of their Elders and to look upon them as proceeding either from too much severity or from dotage when they are indeed the fruits of wisdom sobriety experience To such the counsell of Solomon is necessary Prov. 23.22 Hearken unto thy Father that begat thee and despise not thy Mother when she is old Many more Texts there are in that book to this purpose that shew how the wisest of men have thought it necessary that Children should carefully attend to the
Counsel of their Parents 2. By obeying their lawful Commands most gladly and chearfully doing those things that may bring joy and comfort to them and carefully avoiding what they apprehend will grieve or afflict them And that out of Conscience and in obedience to God who enjoyns it and not meerly from some outward advantages or benefits to themselves as too many children do This is not only contained in the fifth Commandment but expresly enjoyned in other places of Scripture Col. 3.20 Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Eph. 6.1 Children obey your Parents in the Lord for this is right In the former place 't is in all things In the other in the Lord i. e. If their commands are not contrary to Gods for in that case our duty to God must be preferred If any Parent shall be so wicked as to command his Child to steal or lie or do any wicked thing the Child does not offend against his Duty if he disobeys Only let him do it in such a modest and respectful manner that it may appear that 't is Conscience and not stubbornnesse that moves him to refuse Obedience 3. In bearing patiently their reproofs and submitting to their corrections and reforming thereupon what is amisse Prov. 29.17 Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest yea he shall give delight unto thy soul Heb. 12.9 Furthermore we have had Fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence Shall we not much more be in subjection to the Father of Spirits and live Prov. 13.1 A wise Son heareth his Fathers instruction but a scorner heareth not rebuke 4. In forbearing to do any thing of moment without craving their advice and counsel especially in the businesse of marriage For of all acts of disobedience that of marrying against the consent of Parents is one of the highest For as a late Author well observes Children are so much the goods possessions of their Parents that they cannot without a kind of theft giveaway themselves without the allowance of those that have such a right in them And therefore we see under the Law the Maid that had made any vow was not suffered to perform it without the consent of her Parent Numb 30.5 The right of the Parent was thought of force enough to cancell and make void the Obligation even of a vow and therefore surely it ought to be so much considered by Children as to keep them from making any Contract whereby that right is infringed III. Gratitude and Thankfulnesse which they must expresse 1. In a hearty affectionate acknowledgment of their love and care over them Certainly those Children that duly weigh how their Parents have been the Instruments under God not only of bringing them into the world but of susteining and supporting them after and do further consider the cares and fears that go to the bringing up of a Child will judge that thankfulnesse is but a moderate return for so great benefits 2. In ministring to their necessities of what kind soever whether weakness or sickness of body decayednesse of understanding poverty and lownesse of estate In all these cases the Child is bound according to his ability to relieve and help his Parents and thereby as much as in him lies to recompence their care love and kindness towards him As his Parent bare with him when a child so he must bear with his Parent though froward and twice a Child and though God should raise him in dignity above him yet that must not cancel his Duty towards him nor make him with some base disposition'd and wicked Children ashamed to own him In Gen. 47 12. we find that wealthy Joseph nourished his Father and Brethren in want and the same duty the Apostle enjoyns 1 Tim. 5.4 But if any widow have children or nephews let them learn first to shew Piety at home and to requite their Parents for that is good and acceptable before God And our Saviour himself when he left this world commended his Mother to the care of his Beloved Disciple Joh. 19.26 27. There is one thing more which I may couch under this Head wherein such children as are really good and truly religious themselves may expresse a high degree of Gratitude if the case so be as it sometimes happens that their Parents are as yet unacquainted with or negligent of the great concernments of their souls Now in such a case as this What a high Office of filial Duty is it for a child in a wise and humble manner to insinuate into his Parent such things as may with the blessing of God tend to his everlasting welfare and so be an instrument of his new birth who under God gave him his first birth and being in this world This is a Duty wherein some Children should take themselves more concern'd than usually they do 3. In praying for them The debt Children owe to their Parents is so great that they being not able to satisfie it themselves they ought earnestly to beg of the Lord that he would please to recompence it by multiplying his Graces in them and his blessings both spiritual and temporal upon them and to requite their care and love a thousand fold into their bosoms 4. In covering their infirmities 'T is the Duty and will be the endeavour of good and ingenuous children to cover and conceal the infirmities of their Parents with Shem and Japhet and not with cursed Cham to publish and disclose them Gen. 9.23 How detestable is it for Children to deride and scoffe at the infirmities of their Parents 5. And lastly By imitating their good example Whatever was good vertuous and commendable in their Parents let Children imitate But their vices and miscarriages let them decline and not entail them on their posterity Let them remember what a dismal sound is in those words Jeroboam the son of Nebat who made Israel to sin 2 King 3.3 There are two great Motives to presse Children to a careful observance of these things 1. 'T is right and just and that which should be Eph 6.1 And 't is well pleasing to the Lord Col. 3.20 2. It has a promise of reward Eph. 6.2 3. Honour thy Father and Mother which is the first Commandment with promise that it may be well with thee and that thou maist live long on the earth The words in Exod. 20.12 may be rendred Honour thy Father and thy Mother that they viz. By their prayers may prolong thy daies Parents prayers are great blessings to children And further consider what Solomon saith Prov. 10.27 The fear of the Lord prolongeth daies And Godlinesse hath the promise of this life and that which is to come 1 Tim. 4.8 If God take away some good and dutiful children betimes out of this life they are no losers by it For God is better to them than his promise In stead of a long lease in this life he gives them present possession of a free-hold
hereafter Can they be content to train them up for the Devil to be for ever tormented with him in Hell And yet so they must be if they live and die in ignorance impenitencie and unbelief Where are their bowels III. In respect of Church and Common-wealth A Family is the first society and a seminary of the rest 'T is made up of single persons in several relations And Towns Congregations Cities Countries all are made up of several Families Particular Families are as it were the hives out of which swarms go forth into the world To make Families good and religious is the way to make good Magistrates good Husbands good Wives good Masters good Servants good Neighbours Families are the Nurseries of Church and State Now if the Canker take the young trees in the Nursery they are never like to be good when they are transplanted The want of Family reformation is the cause of most of the miscarriages in Church and Common-wealth If there be Ignorance prophanenesse errour ungodlinesse in particular Families we shall soon hear of it in Church and State As therefore Elisha heal'd the naughty waters by casting in salt at the spring head 2 King 2.21 So let us labour to season our Families with true Piety if we would keep disorders out of Church and State 'T is true when all care is used there may be some bad in the best Families In the first Family there was a Cain in the best Family a Judas in Noahs Family the only Family then on earth a Cham yet ordinarily God is pleased so to bless the care and endeavours of religious Governours that their Families are Schools of Piety and Vertue and both Church and Common-wealth reap the fruit of it IV. In respect of our selves 1. The benefit is great that will come to us thereby There is no such way to bring children and servants to be obedient and faithful as to infuse principles of true Piety into them and to plant the fear of God in their hearts Then they will do their duties for Conscience sake And besides such persons in a Family are a great blessing to it Potiphar's Family was blessed for Josephs Labans for Jacobs sake 2. 'T is a great honour to a Family to be truly religious Let prophane scoffers talk what they will Is it not a greater honour for any Christian to have his house to be a Bethel a house of God than a Beth-aven an house of iniquity Religious Families are dignified by the Apostle with the title of Churches Rom. 16.3 Greet Priscilla Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus v. 5. Likewise greet the Church that is in their house Col. 4.15 Salute the brethren which are in Laodicea and Nymphas and the Church which is in his house 3. It will bring much comfort to us both here and hereafter What a joy must it needs be to any serious Christian to see his Family through the blessing of God on his care and labour to thrive in Piety and to walk in the way leading to Heaven And with how much comfort may be leave them when he comes to die having this testimony in his own bosome that he hath been faithfull this way We know Eli was charged with and severely punished for the sins of his Children 1 Sam. 2.29 Because he had been too remisse in reproving of them I shall conclude this with the words of Mr. Rogers a learned Divine of our own Believe it saies he Every Governour of a Family is as deeply charged with the souls of those under his Government as any Pastour is with the souls of that Flock which is committed to his charge Nor will the publick Ministry become fruitful if that which is sown in publick be not watered in private by conference examination and good instruction What can we more impute the unprofitablenesse of our Ministry to than to Masters and Parents neglect of their duties You call our Congregations our charge and so they are so are your Families also your charge Thus he So much of the first Particular the Reasons why Governours of Families should be careful that those under their Government do faithfully serve the Lord. I come to the second to give some Directions for the right performance of this Duty I. Let Governours of Families begin at themselves labouring to reform what is amisse in themselves that so they may be exemplary in wisdom and Holiness to those under their care Let them humbly beg of God those Graces and abilities that may fit them for the discharging of their places Inferiours mind more what superiours do than what they say He that walks disorderly himself cannot expect to reform his children or servants or keep his Family in order II. Let them be careful about the constitution of their Families Let them look well to it that those they admit into their house as neer as they can guesse be hopeful and tractable as to Religion Psal 101. v 6. Mine eies shall be upon the faithful that they may dwell with me he that walketh in a perfect way he shall serve me III. Let them set up the practise of true Religion in good earnest in their Families Let them worship God together morning and evening offering up the spiritual Sacrifice of prayer and supplication with thanksgiving For let them consider 1. Is it not the duty of all sincere Christians to make Religion the main businesse of their lives Should not Governours of Families endeavour to make their Families Godly to win the souls of those under their Government to Christ And can this be done by them who neglect to pray in their Families 2. Does not the very light of Nature seem to suggest we should begin and end the day with God 3. Was not Family Worship the first Worship performed to God in the world for a long time 4. Did not God declare his pleasure under the Law by the evening and morning Sacrifice And does not the Apostle in Analogie to this continual and daily sacrifice bid us pray continually 1 Thes 5.17 Col. 4.2 5. Is not the neglect of prayer made a branch of Atheism Psal 14.4 Have all the workers of iniquity no knowledge who eat up my people as they eat bread and call not upon the Lord. And are not Heathens described to be Families that call not on Gods Name Jer. 10. ult Pour out thy fury upon the Heathen that know thee not and upon the Families that call not on thy Name c. 6. If Job offered Sacrifice and prayed for his Children when they were absent Is it not more then probable he did the like with them when present seeing 't is said thus did Job continually Job 1.5 7. Did not Queen Esther and her maids pray and fast together Esth 4.16 Go gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan and fast ye for me and neither eat nor drink three daies night nor day I also and my maidens will fast likewise 8. Did not Christ pray with
better example Timothy was train'd up by his parents and that from a child in the holy Scriptures 2 Tim. 3.15 Want of instruction at home is one main reason of the unprofitablenesse of preaching 2. A Priest to offer up the spiritual sacrifices of prayer and praise for them and with them 3. A King to rule command and govern for Christ in his own house Gen. 18.19 I know Abraham that he will command his children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord c. A Master of a Family has a greater command and authority over those in his own house than any Minister has He is more with them and has his eie more upon them He should therefore improve his power for God and be like the good Bishop described 1 Tim. 3.4 ruling well i. e. Religiously his own house having his children in subjection with all gravitie So much of the second particular the directions how Governours of Families should discharge their duties towards those under their Government I come now to the third and last to shew whence the neglect of this so great and necessary a duty proceeds There are several causes of it 1. Ignorance Some are so ignorant themselves they know not how to instruct others They know not how to pray with their Families Oh let all such presently apply themselves with all care and seriousnesse to learn the things that concern their salvation that they may discharge their duties towards their relations And let them know it is their duty to labour for ability to pray and for that gift whereby upon all occasions they may in an humble and fitting manner express the desires of their hearts unto the Lord. In the mean time till by seeking to God for his Spirit to enable them and by a faithful endeavour they have attain'd to some measure of this gift they may use some good prescribed form Only let them be exceeding watchful over their hearts for fear of that formality and meer lip-service which in such cases we are more especially in danger of 2. Carelesness Some are of Gallio's temper Acts 18.17 They care for none of these things They think this more ado than needs They will provide portions for their children look that their servants do their work but for Religion the one thing absolutely necessary they do not much trouble themselves 3. Worldly-mindednesse Some are so worldly they cannot afford time for Gods Worship and Service Not a swine about the house but shall be served morning and evening but God is not regarded 4. Prophanenesse Some are so far from having any religious care of their Families to pray with them to instruct them c. that they deride these duties and scoffe at those that make conscience to perform them They through the pride of their hearts think it a disparagement to them to set up the practise of these things in their houses Wretched worms Is God become a shame to his creatures Who are they or what is their Fathers house that they are too good to be the servants of the most High Let them make their peace with that Scripture Mark 8. ult Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed when he cometh in the Glory of his Father with the holy Angels 5. Loose Opinions under pretence of new Light setting people at liberty from the observation and practise of those duties whereby the life and power of Religion is most maintained and preserved Let Governours of Families therefore beware of all these things and whatever else may hinder them from a Conscionable discharge of their Duties Gen. 18.19 For I know him that he will command his Children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do Justice and Judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him Josh 24.15 But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. 1 Sam. 1.21 And the man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer unto the Lord the yearly Sacrifice and his vow Acts 10.2 Cornelius a devout man and one that feared God with all his house which gave much Almes to the people and prayed to God alway CHAP. XI Of the duties of Husband and Wife I Shall first speak of the Duties common to both and then more particularly of those that belong to each of them severally They owe to each other Love Faithfulnesse Helpfulnesse I. Love There ought to be a firm and inviolable love between them grounded on Gods Ordinance and their own Covenant and not meerly on natural or civil respects and being so neerly united and made one flesh they should have but one heart They should have the greatest tendernesse and kindness for each other imaginable If any unkindnesse should at any time happen to arise between them they should never sleep in displeasure but both readily agree to a speedy reconcilement The Sun should not go down on their wrath Love must sweeten all their speeches carriage and actions towards each other 'T is love will make all the duties of a married life easie and all the cumbers and crosses tolerable This love must for measure exceed and surpasse their love to any other creature There must be between them both the love of goodwill desiring heartily the welfare of each other and the love of complacency delighting in each other Want of love between man and wife is no mean sin II. Faithfulnesse and that of several sorts 1. That of the bed They must keep themselves pure chast from all strange embraces and with the greatest abhorrence detest any motion or temptation that way They must not embrace the bosom of a stranger Prov. 5.20 They must be constant to each other and confident of each other Jealousie is the pasport of love 2. They must keep each others secrets 3. Conceal each others infirmities 4. Be faithful to each other in the mannaging their worldly affairs 5. If any difference arise not let it take vext for jars concealed are half reconciled whereas if they be once divulged 't is a double labour to make up the breach and stop the mouths of people abroad III. Helpfulnesse They are to be mutuall helpers each to other both in spiritual and temporal things 1. They should endeavour to help one another on towards Heaven to promote and encrease knowledge and Holiness in each others souls designing to meet together and live together for ever in Heaven They should pray together and for each other 1 Pet. 3.7 They should faithfully wisely and lovingly admonish one another of any failings they discern in each other This is of all other the truest and most valuable love Nay indeed How can it be said they do love at all if they can contentedly let each other run on in a course that will bring them to eternal misery True
love is soul love And if the love of Husband and Wife be thus grounded in Religion and Piety and a care of each others souls it will make their lives a kind of Heaven upon earth 'T will prevent those contentions heart burnings and brawls so fatal to many Families They will like Zachary and Elizabeth labour to walk before the Lord blamelesse They will endeavour to plant Religion in their Family and be examples of Piety prudence and goodnesse to those among whom they live 2. They are to be mutual helpers to each other in natural and civil respects They are to comfort and cherish one another both in health and sicknesse in prosperity and adversity They are to advise and assist each other in a right governing their Family and in a prudent mannaging their estate and worldly affairs And in a word they are to endeavour to make their passage through this world as comfortable to each other as they can So much in general for the duties common to both I now come to speak more particularly of the duties belonging to each of them severally And first of the duties of the Husband I. The first duty the Husband owes to his Wife is love How great this love should be the Apostle intimates by the similitudes he uses in this matter The one of that Christ bears to his Church Eph. 5.25 Husbands love your Wives even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it The other of that a man bears to himself v. 31. Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself Now every one knows and feels how he loves himself A mans love to himself hath these properties 1. 'T is cordial without dissimulation Many a man feigns love and friendship to others but no body is insincere and false in his love to himself Such a love should a man bear to his Wife As Jonathans heart was knit to David 1 Sam. 18.1 And he loved him as his own soul so ought the Husband to love his Wife The Apostle tels us 1 Cor. 13.5 Charity is not easily provoked True fervent cordial love is long suffering and beareth with many infirmities and weaknesses and covereth a multitude of offences 1 Pet. 4.8 2. 'T is constant 'T is so natural nothing can make it cease Though a man hath been handsom and is by sicknesse become deformed though he hath been healthy and is become sickly though he hath been patient and is now grown cholerick yet he still loves himself So no accidental change or defect should lessen a mans love to his Wife 3. 'T is very tender How tenderly does a man treat himself when sick If he have a sore eie How careful is he of it Such ought a mans affection be to his Wife expressing it self in a tender regard of her in sicknesse as well as health The man ought to look upon his Wife as the tenderer part of himself or as the Apostle phrases it as the weaker vessel 1 Pet. 3.7 Which must not be a cause of contempt but rather of respect and regard And the more weak she is in respect of any sicknesse or the like so much the more tender care ought he to have of her No man ever hated his own flesh saies the Apostle but nourisheth and cherisheth it Eph. 5.29 The Husband therefore must not do any thing that may be hurtful or grievous to his Wife no more than he would cut and gash his own flesh For my part I know no Law of God or man that allows the Husband a power to beat his Wife He is indeed to govern her but he is to do it by wise loving amiable counsel not by stripes The civil Law is strict against it Cod. 5. And among Heathens we read not of any except such as were mad or drunk practising this unnatural cruelty The Husband therefore should mannage that authority and superiority which God hath given him over his Wife wisely mildly amiably He should remember all Government is ordained by God for the good of the whole and not the pleasure only of the Governour Therefore all harshnesse and roughnesse and such tyrannical carriage is utterly unallowable on the Husbands part towards his Wife 4. 'T is pure Not for base and sinister ends He does not love himself because he is a healthy man a handsom man a rich man but 't is purely himself because 't is himself that he loves Such ought a mans love to his Wife to be not only because she is fair or rich or young but because she is his Wife A man may look abroad in the world and see others healthier handsomer richer wittier than himself yet I hope he does not thereupon fall in love with them and slight and neglect himself So a man is to love his wife purely for this reason because she is his Wife Though he is not bound to think her the best accomplished woman in the world yet he is to love her like her delight in her more than any woman in the world So much for the first Duty the man owes to his Wife Love and the degree of it II. The next is Instruction The Husband is to instruct the wife in the things that concern her everlasting welfare if she be ignorant of them Thus Paul bids the wives learn of their husbands at home 1 Cor. 14.35 Which supposes the Husband is to teach her This should make men careful to get knowledge themselves that so they may perform this duty they owe to others III. Maintenance He is to maintain her provide for her and allow her things convenient and fit according to his estate and to let her partake with him in those outward good things wherewith God hath blessed him And as he is not by niggardize to deny her what is fit for her so neither must he by his unthriftinesse wast his goods and so make himself unable to support her if God take him away before her he is to provide for her comfortable subsistence according to his ability and not to beat her when he is dead as one phrases it by leaving her an insufficient and too short an allowance I come now to speak of the Duties of the Wife The Wife owes to her Husband I. Subjection Eph. 5.22 Wives submit your selves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Col 3.18 Wives submit your selves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. 1 Pet. 3.1 Likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands c. V. 5. Being in subjection to their own husbands Besides these Scripture-Commands there are several reasons for it 1. From the Creation 1. The man was first created 1 Tim. 2.13 Adam was first formed then Eve 2. The woman was made of the man and not the man of the woman 1 Cor. 11.8 For the man is not of the woman but the woman of the man 3. The woman was made for the man not the man for the woman Gen. 2.18 And
hear this hath been thy manner from thy youth that thou obeyedst not my voice Prov. 1.24 Because I called and ye refused I have stretched out my hand and no man regarded V. 25. But ye have set at nought all my counsel and would none of my reproof V. 26. I also will laugh at your calamity I will mock when your fear cometh Lev. 19.32 Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head and honour the face of the old man and fear thy God I am the Lord. Isa 3.5 And the people shall be oppressed every one by another and every one by his Neighbour the child shall behave himself proudly against the ancient and the base against the honourable So much of the Duties belonging to Young persons I come now to speak to the Ancient The main and principal care of those that are in years should be to make all strait and even between God and their own soules to secure their state in Grace and their Title to Glory For their Sun is setting their race is almost run Though the younger may die yet the old must die and after death comes judgment Let all ancient persons therefore take these following Particulars into their serious consideration I. The case of all old people that are yet in an unconverted state is very sad and dangerous For 1. This world and the contentments thereof are in a manner done with them The evil daies are come upon them wherein they must needs say they have no pleasure in them 2. Usually they labour under many weaknesses and bodily infirmities If they have not the comfort of a good Conscience to support them and to be the staffe of their age how exceeding miserable must they needs be 3. If they have lived long under the means of Grace and continued unconverted till old age 't is a hundred to one whether they ever be converted or no. 'T is rare to hear of any that have gone on in a long course of carelesseness and security and been habituated and hardned in sin that in their old age have turned to God See the Reasons before mentioned p. 510. 4. If they die in their sins they will receive a greater condemnation The furnace will be hotter for them than for young sinners They have contracted a greater debt The heap of their sins is greater Certainly it will be more tolerable in the day of judgment for Er and Onan who were cut off betimes in their sins than for sinners that are threescore or fourscore years old If the Judge at the Assizes do meet with an old theef or an old cut purse that have had many warnings and still go on in their wickednesse they seldom scape Let all old impenitent sinners think of this How may God say of such Heer 's an old covetous worldly-minded man an old swearer or drunkard an old hater of Godlinesse and slighter of Religion an old ignorant carelesse wretch a neglecter of Family-duties one that should have instructed his children and servants and bred them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord but in stead thereof has given them an ill example and done me a great deal of dishonour c. I have forborn him fourty fifty sixty years He has often quenched the good motions of my Spirit my Ambassadors could never prevail with him to leave his sins Now therefore O ye evil Angels this day this week this year require his soul of him and bring him to judgment O how exceeding sad is the case of an old unconverted man or woman II. Nothing is more to be admired at than that ancient people should go on in their sins not minding speedily and seriously to turn to God For 1. The lease of their lives is almost expired And is it not a strange madnesse they should make no provision for another world 2. They have many warnings they must go hence dim eyes feeble legs trembling joynts Eccles 12.3 The Sun and the Light is darkned the keepers of the house tremble the strong men bow themselves the grinders cease c. Their bodily weaknesses warn them they must not ftay long here 3. They have but a little time to watch and the Bridegroom will come and if they get not Oyl into their lamps now they will be for ever shut out III. Though their condition be very sad and dangerous yet it is not desperate if they will yet bestir themselves For let them consider these four things 1. God hath declar'd a greater delight in the conversion of sinners whether young or old than in their destruction and damnation Ezek. 33.11 Say unto them as I live saith the Lord God I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked but that the wicked turn from his way and live turn ye turn ye from your evil waies for why will ye die O House of Israel 2. The promises of God do stand in force and will be made good to repenting returning sinners whether young or old True Repentance is never too late but late repentance is seldom true All sorts of sins are pardonable to reall penitents and true believers 3. There is efficacy and vertue enough in Christs blood to cleanse not only young but old sinners from all their sins 4. Christ is willing to accept old sinners if they will repent and forsake their sins and really turn to him and close with him on his own terms being willing to take him not only for their Saviour but for their Lord and King and to yield up themselves in sincere obedience to him and to be guided and governed by his Grace and holy Spirit Christ did not come to save men by bringing them to Heaven in their ungodlinesse or to Glory in their sins but to destroy their sins that would keep them out of Glory IV. Though ancient people that have gone on in a long course of ignorance carelessness neglect of God and the concernments of their souls should be convinced they are at present in a bad condition in an unconverted state yet it does not thence follow they must needs so continue and utterly and finally despair but they should awaken themselves delay no longer and speedily set themselves to get out of this miserable condition while there is a possibility of escaping the danger of it 'T is no folly to be wise for their souls to be wise for Eternity at last Therefore let them remember now if ever V. They should be exceeding careful they do not deceive themselves with ill grounded hopes of Heaven peesuming it will go well with them in the other world when they have no reall foundation for such a confidence A false ungrounded hope is but a dream of a waking man If a condemned Malefactor should frame a pardon for himself in the prison and think to be saved by that would it not prove a miserable cheat put upon himself Does it not concern every one therefore to consider whether the hope of pardon and forgiveness they pretend unto
also refer this one thing more that at such a serious time no vain idle frothy books should be read to them or by them as is by many used to make them merry but such Treatises as may better them to God-ward and further them in the way to Heaven To meditate and seriously ponder on the four last things treated of in the next Chapter will not be unprofitable for them VII Let them consult with and take the advice of their spiritual guides while they have some strength of body and the right use of their understandings before their Spirits are so spent that there is no conversing with them VIII Let them consider Gods aim and design in sending sicknesse upon them Let them enquire into the meaning of it This Direction is usefull not only for such as are under sicknesse but under any other affliction and consider what God now cals them to let them hearken to the voice of the rod Let them consider what corruptions they are especially to mortifie what sins to leave what duties to perform what Graces to exercise And though they may and ought to use lawful means for the removing of their sicknesse seeking to the Lord for his blessing thereupon yet let them not forget to pray as earnestly to have their sicknesse sanctified as removed Blessed is the man whom thou correctest and teachest Psal 94.12 Afflictions alone are not enough to evidence a man to be blessed and in a happy condition except they prove teaching sanctifyed afflictions Evidences of Grace and the favour of God consist in inward impressions not outward dispensations 'T is not said Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest and deliverest out of trouble but whom thou corectest and teachest When God takes away the disease and does not take away the guilt and dominion of sin does not pardon and sanctifie the sick person 't is not a compleat deliverance but only a reprieval from present execution Bare deliverance is not the blessing thou shouldst desire The blessing of affliction is Divine Instruction Therefore those who are put by God into the School of affliction should seriously apply themselves to learn those lessons which in that School they ought to learn And they are such as these 1. Obediential submission to the will of God We must not dispute our Crosse but take it up Aaron held his peace Lev. 10.3 We may indeed and ought to seek unto the Lord and to use lawful means as I said before for deliverance from a sickness or other affliction but yet with resignation of our selves to his holy will Patience is not a stupidity or insensiblenesse of Gods hand but a calmnesse of mind upon wise and holy grounds And therefore if the sicknesse he sends upon us prove either very long or tedious and painful yet we must take heed of murmuring or repining or charging God foolishly For God is so just he is not to be question'd so good he is not to be suspected and so strong he is not to be resisted Impatience therefore will but augment our pain and encrease our guilt 'T is indeed a hard matter when we are afflicted in patience to possesse our souls But we should consider not so much what we feel as what we deserve Any thing on this side Hell is mercy and will so appear to a truly humbled soul 2. To pray more earnestly and fervently They that were wont before to content themselves with cold short slight sleepy formal devotions will by sanctified afflictions learn to pray better more heartily and fervently and to cry mightily unto God for pardon and Grace for help and relief 3. To be better acquainted with our own hearts Afflâ—ctions sanctified discover the unknown and secret corruptions of the heart Deut. 8.2 The Lord thy God led thee these fourty years in the wilderness to humble thee and to prove thee to know what was in thine heart 4. To understand these three things more clearly and experimentally 1 The evil and danger of sin 2 The emptinesse of the Creature 3. The preciousnesse of Christ and what a high value we ought to set upon his sufferings 5. To mind and esteem the promises of God more Through distractions without in time of health and corruptions within people many times neglect to study the promises of God But in time of sicknesse or other distress there are no cordials like unto them 6. To enquire into and examine our evidences for Heaven not to venture our soules on general ungrounded hopes and sinking foundations 7. To live by Faith Faith takes the soul off from creature-confidences and teaches it to stay it self on God alone The right course to obtain mercies from God is in the way of an humble trust When we see and apprehend our own insufficiency and Gods All-sufficiency and cast our selves on his wisdom power and goodness then he usually affords help and succour to us 8. To prize communion with God more and to be more Heavenly minded In the glaring of prosperity we are too apt to forget God and to content our selves with Creature-enjoyments But in the night of adversity and in sad dispensations Oh how delightful is a beam of his love and favour 9. To be more humble By afflictions God takes down the pride of the heart and makes it humble and soft and pliable to his will 10. To be more thankful for the mercies we enjoy We seldom are sufficiently sensible of the worth of our mercies till God begin to deprive us of them 11. To set a high value and price upon time Sicknesse cries aloud in our eares redeem time O redeem time for praying for meditating for clearing our evidences for Heaven c. How many are there who when their time is almost done have their great work then to begin O in what a sad condition are they These and such like lessons should be learned in the School of affliction But now they whom God shall please to bring forth out of their troubles to deliver from their sicknesse and renew the lease of their lives should be exhorted to these five things 1. Let them consider what they have learned in the School of affliction What the Spirit of God hath taught them If they find they have learned in some measure those lessons before-mentioned then let them study to be thankful Let them consider God hath done more for them thâ—n if he had never brought them into affliction He hath given them deliverance and instruction both He hath turned their water into wine 2. Let them take heed of forgetting the lessons they have learned Let them labour to keep alive the teachings of Gods Spirit upon their hearts Let them study to maintain that sweet gracious humble frame of spiâ—it into which God brought them by their afflictions If they be not exceeding watchful they will quickly find a great deal of difference between their hearts under afflictions and when the affliction is taken off There is much of a Pharaoh-like