from being a provision there is such a curse goes along with an ill-gotten estate that he that leaves such a one to his child doth but cheat and deceive him makes him believe he has left him wealth but has withal put such a canker in the bowels of it that is sure to eat it out This is so common an observation that I need say nothing to confirm the truth of it would God it were as generally laid to heart as it seems to be generally taken notice of Then surely Parents would not account it a reasonable motive to unjust dealing that they may thereby provide for their children for this is not a way of providing for them nay 't is the way to spoil them of whatever they have lawfully gathered for them the least mite of unlawful gain being of the nature of leaven which sowres the whole lump bringing down curses upon all a man possesseth Let all Parents therefore satisfie themselves with such provisions for their children as God shall enable them honestly to make assuring themselves how little soever it be 't is a better portion then the greatest wealth unjustly gotten according to that of Solomon Prov. 16. 8. Better is a little with righteousness then great revenues without right 23. A fourth thing the Parent owes to the child is Good Example he is not only to set him rules of vertue and godliness but he must himself give him a pattern in his own practice we see the force of example is infinitly beyond that of precept especially where the person is one to whom we bear a reverence or with whom we have a continual conversation both which usually meet in a Parent It is therefore a most necessary care in all Parents to behave themselves so before their children that their example may be a means of winning them to vertue But alas this age affords little of this care nay so far 't is from it that there are none more frequently the instruments of corrupting children then their own Parents And indeed how can it be otherwise while men give themselves liberty to all wickedness 't is not to be hoped but that the children which observe it will imitate it the childe that sees his father drunk will sure think he may be so too as well as his father So he that hears him swear will do the like and so for all other vices and if any Parent that is thus wicked himself should happen to have so much more care of his childes Soul then his own as to forbid him the things which himself practises or correct him for the doing them 't is certain the child will account this a great injustice in his father to punish him for that which himself freely does and so he is never likely to be wrought upon by it This consideration lays a most strict tie upon all Parents to live Christianly for otherwise they do not only hazard their own Souls but those of their children also and as it were purchase an estate of inheritance in Hell 24. A fifth duty of Parents is blessing their children the way of doing that is double first by their prayer they are by daily and earnest prayers to commend them to Gods protection and blessing both for their spiritual and temporal estate and secondly by their piety they are to be such persons themselves as that a blessing may descend from them upon their posterity This is often promised in Scriptures to godly men that their seed shall be blessed Thus in the second commandment God promises to shew mercy to the thousand generation of them that love him and keep his commandments And it is very observable in the Jews that though they were a stiff-necked generation and had very grievously provoked God yet the godliness of their forefathers Abraham Isaac and Jacob did many times move God to save them from destruction on the other side we see that even good men have fared the worse for the inâ—quities of their fathers Thus when Josiah had destroyed idolatry restored Gods service and done good beyond all the Kings that were before him yet there was an old arrear of Manasseh his grand father which all this piety of his would not blot out but he resolves to cast Judah also out of his sight as you may read at large 2 Kings 23. If therefore Parents have any bowels any kindness towards their children any real desire of their prosperity let them take care by their own godly life to entail a blessing upon them 25. Sixthly Parents must take heed that they use their power over their children with equity and moderation not to oppress them with Unreasonable Commands only to exercise their own authority but in all things of weight to consider the real good of their children and to press them to nothing which may not consist with that This is a rule whereof Parents may often have use but in none greater then in the business of marrying their children wherein many that otherwise are good Parents have been to blame when out of an eagerness of bestowing them wealthily they force them to marry utterly against their own inclinations which is a great tyranny and that which frequently betrayes them to a multitude of mischiefs such as all the wealth in the world cannot repair There are two things which Parents ought especially to consider in the matching their children the first how they may live Christianly and to that purpose to chuse a vertuous and pious person to link them with the second is how they may live cheerfully and comfortably in this world and to that end though a competency of estate may be necessary to be regarded yet surely abundance is no way requisite and therefore that should not be too vehemently sought after that which much more tends to the happiness of that state is the mutual kindness and liking of the parties without which marriage is of all other the most uncomfortable condition and therefore no parent ought to thrust a child into it I have now done with the first sort of Relation that of a Parent PARTITION XV. Of Duty to our Brethren and Relations Husband wife Friends Masters Servants § 1. THe second sort of Relation is that of a Brother now brotherhood may be two fold either natural or spiritual the natural may in the largest extent contain under it all mankind all that partake of the same nature but I shall not consider it so in this place having already mentioned those gegeneral duties which belong to all as such I now speak of that natural brother-hood that is between those that are the children of the same immediate Parent and the duty of these is to have united hearts and affections This nature points out to them they partaking in a more especial manner of each others substance and therefore ought to have the greatest tenderness and kindness each to other thus we see Abraham make it an argument why there
c. of Fasting pag 109 PARTITION 6. Of Duties to our selves Of Sobriety Humility the great sin of Pride the Danger the Folly of this Sin Of Vain-Glory the Danger Folly Meâ—ns to prevent it Of Meekness the Means to obtain it c. pag. 136. PARTITION 7. Of Contentedness and the Contraries to it Murmuring Ambiâ—ion Covetousness Envy Helps to Contentedness Of Duties which concern our Bodies Of Chastity Helps to it Temperance Rules of Temperance in Eating c. pag. 158. PARTITION 8. Of Temperance in Drinking False Ends of Drinking viz. Good fellowship Putting away Cares Passing away time preventing reproach Bargaining c. pag. 177. PARTITION 9. Temperance in Sleep The Rule of it c. Of Recreation of Apparel and of the ends for which cloathing should be used pag. 197. PARTITION 10. Of DUTIES to our NEIGHBOURS Of Justice Negative and Positive Of the Sin of Murther Of the Hainousness of it the Punishments of it and the Strange Discoveries thereof of Maiming Wounds and stripes pag. 206 PARTITION 11. Of Justice about the Possessions of our Neighbour against Injuring him as concerning his Wife his Goods of Malice Covetousness Oppression Theft of Paying Debts c. pag. 226. PARTITION 12. Of Theft Stealing the Goods of our Neighbour Of Deceit in Trust in Traffick Of Restitution and the Necessity thereof c. pag. 238. PARTITION 13. Of False Reports False Witness Slanders Whisperings Of Despising and Scoffing for Infirmities Calamities Sins c. Of Positive Justice Speaking the Truth Of Lying Of Humility and Pride Of Envy Detraction Of Gratitude c. pag. 251. PARTITION 14. Of Duty to Parents Magistrates Pastors c. Of the Duty of Parents to Children c. Reverence Love Obedience especially in their Marriage Ministring to their wants of the Duty of Parents to their Children pag. 278. PARTITION 15. Of Duty to our Brethren and Relations Husband Wife Friends Masters Servants c. pag. 305. PARTITION 16. Other Branches of our Duty to our Neighbour Of Charity to Mens Souls Bodies Goods Credit c. pag. 329. PARTITION 17. Of Charity Alms-giving c. Of Charity in respect of our Neighbours Credit Of Peace-making Of going to Law Of Charity to our Enemies c. Christian Duties both Possible and pleasant pag. 358. A TABLE of the PRAYERS PRayers for Morning page 3. Prayers for Night 11. Collects for several Graces 17. A Paraphrase on the Lords Prayer 31. Pious Ejaculations out of the Book of Psalms 34. Brief heads of Examination before the Sacrament 37. Prayers before the Sacrament 50. Ejaculations at the Lords Table c. 55. Prayers after the Sacrament 56. Prayers for the Sick 65. Ejaculations for the Sick 74. Prayers in times of Publick Calamities 79. A Prayer for this Church 82. A Prayer for the Peace of the Church 84. Books Printed and Sold by T. Garthwait at the little North door of St. Pauls B. Chappels Methodus Concionandi 12o. Notes upon 103. Psalm being a Praxis upon that Method 8o. A Commentary on the 5 Books of Moses or Pentâ—â—euch by J. Trap. 4o. Remains of Mr. Geo Herbert late Orator of the University of Cambridge Reliquiae Woâ—tonianae A Collection of the incomparable pieces of that great Master of Language and Art Sr. Henry Wotton Knight Provost of Eton c. 12o. The Works of that profound Divine Dr. The. Jackson Pres. of Corp. Chr. Coll. Oxon. in folio in 3 Volumns Dr. Cosins Scholastical History of the Canon of the Scripture 4o. Dr. Waltons Introduction to the Oriental Languages in 12o. The Conversion of Rigep Dandulo a Turk to the Christian Faith by Mr. Gunning 8o. The Rationale on the Book of Common Prayer of the Church of England wherein is proved that that Service is Agreeable to the Primitive Usages and so not Novel that it is a Reasonable Service and so not Superstitious by Mr. A. Sparrow 12o. Mr. Joseph Mead his Dissertationum Triga 4o. Dr. Dees Actions and Conferences with Spirits c Set out by Dr. Casauâ—â—n against Athiestâ— and Enthusiasts in folio School Books Mr. Wâ—â—kers Treatise of English Particles 8o. Mr. Busbies Horat. Castigat  Juvenal   Pâ—rsius  In usum Schola Westmonaster Books newly Published Mary Magdalens Tears wipt off or the voice of Peace to an unquiet Conscience Wherein are resolved sundry Cases of Conscience incident to a Deserted Condition first writ to a Lady of Quality in 8. Dr. Stewards excellent Serion at Paris of Hezâ—kiâ—hs Reformation justifying the Church of England against the Papists and being a full Answer to Mr. Baxters imputation of Cassandrian Poptry and the Grotian Religion in 12o. The worth of the Soul The misery of loosing the Soul The danger the Soul is in The first Covenant That our Care will not be in vain The second Covenant Of the Light of NATURE The light of SCRIPTURES The Three great branches of MANS DUTY Duty to God Acknowledging him to be God FAITH Of his Affirmations Commands Threatnings Promises HOPE Presumption Despair Love its Motives Gods excellency His Kindness to us Fruit of Love Desire of pleasing Desire of Enjoying FEAR The folly of fearing Men more then God TRVST In all spiritual dangers In all Temporal Not seek to deliver our selves by any Sin In all wants spiritual Temporal wants The benefit of trusting on God HUMILITY Submission to Gods will in respects of obedience The great distance between God and us The unworthiness of our best work Submission in respect of Patience Thankfulness for Gods Corrections Fruitfulnes under them In all sorts of sufferings Submission to Gods Wisdome In his Commands In his Disposals HONOVR Several wayes of honouring God In his House His possessions The great sin of Sacriledge The punishment The times for his service Lords day The Feasts of the Church The Fasts Gods Word The holy Scriptures Catechizing Preaching The Sacraments Of Baptism The vow of Baptism The strict obligation of this vow of Baptism The Lords Supper Things to be done before receiving Examination Sins Several sorts Humiliation Contrition Confession Faith Resolutions of Obedience Of the means Present renouncing of sin Imbracing vertue Quickning of graces Charity Devotion Necessity of these graces The usefulness of a spiritual guide Not to be ashamed to discover our selves to one As necessary to the confident as to the doubtful At the time of receiving Meditation of thy unworthiness The sufferings of Christ. The aâ—onement wrought by them The thankfulness owing for them The great love of Christ in them The benefits of the New Covenant sealed in the Sacrament Upon receiving give thanks Pray After the acrament Private Prayer and â—hanksgivâ—â—g â—t preâ—ntly to fall wordly fairs To keep thy resolutions still in memory The danger of breaking them Making God thy enemy Thy own conscience Gods former pardons no incouragement to sin The obligation of this vow perpetual Yet often to be renewed Honour due to Gods Name Sins against it Blasphemy Swearing
Assertory Oathes Promissory Vnlawful Oaths God greatly dishonoured by Perjury The punishments of it Vain Oaths The sin of them They lead to Perjury No temptation to them Necessity of abstaining from them Means for it Sense of the guilt and danger Truth in speaking Forsaking the occasioâ— Reverence of God â—atchfulâ—â—ss Prayer What it is to honâ—r Gods Name WORSHIP Prayer its parts Confession Petitions For our Souls Bodies Deprecation Of Sin Of Punishment Intercession Thanksgiving Spiritual Mercies Temporal Publick prayer in the Church In the Family Private Prayer Frequency in Prayer The advantages of Prayer Honour Benefit Pleasantness Carnality one reason of its seeming otherwise Want of use another To ask nothing unlawful To ask in Faith In humility With attention Helps against wandring Consideration of Gods Majesty Our needs Prayer for Gods aid Watchfulness With Zeal With purity To right ends Bodily Worship REPENTANCE A turning from sin to God Times for this Duty Daily At set times In the time of affliction At death The danger of deferring it till then The disadvantages of a death bed repentance The custom of sin Bodily pains Danger of unsincerity Fasting Fasting a revenge upon ourselvs Such revenges acceptable with God Yet no satisfaction for sins Times of fasting Second Branch of our Duty to God Inward Idolatry Duty to our SELVES Humility The great sin of Pride The danger Drawing into other sins Frustrating of remedies Betraying to punishment The Folly In respect of the goods of Nature The goods â—â— Fortune The goods of grace Means of Humility Vain glory The sin The danger The Folly Helps against vain-glory MEEKNES Advantages fit Means of obtaining it CONSIDERATION Of our State The Rule by which to try our State The danger of Inconsideration Our Actions Before we do them After they are done â—requency of â—onsideraâ—â—â—n Danger of omitting it CONTENTEDNES â—ontrary to â—â—rmuring To Ambition To Covetousness Covetousness contrary to our duty to God To our Selves To our neighbours Contentedness contrary to envy Helps to conâ—edness DILIGENCE Watchfulness against sin Industry in improving gifts Of Nature Of Grace To improve good motions The danger of the contrary CHASTITY Uncleanness forbidden in the very lowest degrees The mischiefs of it To the Soul To the Body The Judgements of God a gainst it It shuts out from Heavâ— Helps to Chastity TEMPERANCE In Eating Ends of eating Preserving of life Of Health Rules of Temperance in Eating Means of it Temperance in Drinking False ends of drinking Good Fellowship Preserving of kindness Chearing the spirits Putting away cares Preventing reproach Pleasure of the drink Bargaining Degrees of this sin The great guilt of the strong drinkers The great mischiefs of this sin Exhortation to forsake it The difficulties of doing â—o considered Seeming â—â—â—essity of drink Want of imployment Perswasions and reproaches of men The means of resisting them Weigh the advantages with the hurt Reject the temptation at the very beginning The security of doing so The esficacy of these means if not hindred by love of the sin That love makes men loth to believe it dangerous Sleep The rule of Temperance therein The many Sins that follow the transgression of it Other mischiefs of sloth Temperance in Recreation Cautions to be observed in them Unlue End of Sports Temperance in Apparel Apparel designed for covering of shame Fencing from cold Distinction of persons Too much sparing a â—ault as well as excess DUTY to our NEIGHBOUR JUSTICE Negative To the Soul In the natural sence In the spiritual Drawing to in the greatest injury Direct means of it Indirect Men sadly to consider whom they have thus injured Heartily to bewail it Endeavour to repair it Negative justice to the body In respect of the life Several wayes of being guilty of murder The hainousness of the sin The great punishments attending it The strange discoveries of it We must watch diligently against all approaches of this sin Maiming a great injury That which every man dreads for himself Yet worse if the man be poor Necessity of making what satisfaction we can Wounds and stripes injuries also This cruelty to others the effect of pride His Possession His Wife The enticing a mans wife the greatest injustice To the woman To the man The most irreparable His goods Malicious injustice Covetous injustice Oppression Gods vengeance against it Theft Not paying what we borrow What we are bound for What we have promised Stealing the goods of our neighbour Deceit In Trust. In Traffick The sellers concealing the faults of his ware His over-rating it Fraud in the Buyer Many temptations to deceit in Traffick The commonness of injustice a reproach to Christianity It is not the way to enrich a man It ruines the Soul eternally The necessity of Restitution His credit False witnes Publick slanders Whispering Several steps toward this sin Despising and scoffing For infirmities For calamities For sins Destroying the credit a great injury And irrepairable Yet every guilty person must do all he can to repair the injury Justice in the thoughts Positive Justice Speaking Truth a due to all men Lying expresly forbidden in Scripture The great commonness and folly of this sin Courteous behaviour a due to all men Not payed by the proud man Meekness a due to all men Brauling very insufferable It leads to that great sin of cursing Particular dues A respect due to men of extraordinary gifts We are not to envy them Nor detract from them The folly of both those sins A respect due to men in regard of their ranks and qualities Dues to those that are in any sort of want To the poor God withdraws those abilities which are not thus imployed Duties inspect of relation Gratitude to Benefactors The contrary too common Duty to Parents Duties to the Supream Magistrate Honour Tribute Prayers for them Obedience Duties to our Pastors Love Esteem Maintenance Obedience Prayers for them Duties to our natural Parents Reverence Love Obedience Especially in their Marriage Ministring to their wants Duty to be paid even to the worst of Parents Duty of Parents to Children To nourish them Bring them to Baptism Educate them Means towards the education of children The parent to watch over their souls even when they are grown up To provide for their subsistence To give them good example To bless them To give no unreasonable commands Dues to Brethren Natural The necessity of Love among Brethren Spiritual brotherhood Our duty to hold communion with these brethren To bear with their infirmities To restore them after falls To sympathize with them The wife owes to the husband obedience Fideâ—ty Love The faults of the husband acquits not from these duties The Husband owes â—o the Wife love Faithfulness Maintenance Instruction Husbands and Wives mutually to pray for and â—ssist each â—ther in all good The vertue of the person the chief consideration in Marriage Unlawful Marriages Friendship Its duties Faithfulness Assistance Admonition Prayer Constancy Servants owe to their Masters obedience Fidelity Submission to rebuke Diligence Masters owe to their Servants Justice Admonition Good example Means of Instruction Moderation in Command Encouragement in well doing Charity In the Affections To mens Souls To their Bodies Goods and Credit Effects of this Charity It casts ouâ— Envy Pride ensoriousss Dissembling Self-seeking Revenge This charity io be extended even to enemies Motives thereunto Command of Christ. Example of God The disproportion between our ofâ—ences against God and mens against us Pleasantness of this Duty â—f we forâ—ive not â—od will â—ot forgive â—s Gratitude â—o God â—e first â—ng of â—ncour to supprest Charity in the Actions Towards the mind of our Neighbour His Soul Charity in respect of the Body Charity in respect of the Goods Towards the rich Towards the Poor Motives of Alms giving Manner of Alms-giving Cheerfully The fear of â—mpoverish â—ng our â—lves by it â—ain and â—pious Give seasonably Prudently Charity in respect of the Credit The acts of Charity in some respects acts of Justice also The great rule of Charity Peace making He that undertake it must be peaceable himself Of going to Law This charity of the actions must reach to enemies Self-love an hindrance to this Charity Prayer â— means to procure it Christian duties both possible and pleasant Even when they expose us to outward sufferings The danger of delaying our turning to God Sunday I. Sunday II. Sunday III. Sunday IV. Sunday V. Sunday VI. Sunday VII â—unday VIII â—unday IX â—unday X. Sunday XI Sunday XII Sunday XIII Sunday XIV Sunday XV. Sunday XVI Sunday XVII
are still of the same temper cannot look on the ruines and desolations of the Church without the greatest sorrow and lamentation Secondly we are to have this fellow feeling with our brethren considered as single persons We are to account our selves concerned in every particular Christian so as to partake with him in all his occasions either of joy or sorrow Thus the Apostle exhorts Rom. 12. 14. Rejoyce with them that rejoyce weep with them that weep And again 1 Cor. 12. under the similitude of the natural body he urges this duty Whether one member suffer all the members suffer with it or one member be honoured all the members rejoyce with it All these several effects of love we owe to these spiritual brethren And this love is that which Christ has made the badge of his Disciples John 13. 35. By this shall all men know that ye are my Disciples if ye have love one to another so that if we mean not to cast off discipleship to Christ we must not forsake this love of the brethren 8. The third relation is that between Husband and Wife This is yet much neerer then either of the former as appears by that Text Ephes. 5. 31. A man shall leave Father and Mother and cleave to his Wife and they two shall be one flesh Several duties there are oweing from one of these persons to the other and first for the Wife she owes obedience This is commanded by the Apostle Col. 3. 18. Wives submit your selves to your own Husbands as it is fit in the Lord. They are to render obedience to their Husbands in the Lord that is in all lawful commands for otherwise 't is here as in the case of all other superiours God must be obeyed rather then man and the wife must not upon her husbands command do any thing which is forbidden by God But in all things which do not cross some command of Gods this precept is of force and will serve to condemn the peevish stubbornness of many wives who resist the lawful commands of their husbands only because they are impatient of this duty of subjection which God himself requires of them But it may be here asked what if the husband command something which though it be not unlawful is yet very inconvenient and imprudent must the wife submit to such a command To this I answer that it will be no disobedience in her but duty calmly and mildly to shew him the inconveniences thereof and to perswade him to retract that command but in case she cannot win him to it by fair intreaties she must neither try sharp language nor yet finally refuse to obey nothing but the unlawfulness of the command being sufficient warrant for that 9. Secondly The wife owes Fidelity to the husband and that of two sorts first that of the bed she must keep her self pure and chaste from all strange embraces and therefore must not so much as give an ear to any that would allure her but with the greatest abhorrence reject all motions of that sort and never give any man that has once made such a motion to her the least opportunity to make a second Secondly She owes him likewise Fidelity in the managing those worldly affaires he commits to her she must order them so as may be most to her husbands advantage and not by deceiving and cozening of him imploy his goods to such uses as he allowes not of 10. Thirdly She owes him Love and together with that all friendliness and kindness of conversation she is to endeavour to bring him as much assistance and comfort of life as is possible that so she may answer that special end of the womans creation the being a help to her husband Gen. 2. 13. and this in all conditions whether health or sickness wealth or poverty whatsoever estate God by his providence shall cast him into she must be as much of comfort and support to him as she can To this all sullenness and harshness all brawling and unquietness is directly contrary for that makes the wife the burden and plague of the man instead of a help and comfort And sure if it be a fault to behave ones self so to any person as hath already been shewed how great must it be to do so to him to whom the greatest kindness and affection is owing 11. Nor let such wives think that any faults or provocations of the husband can justifie their frowardness for they will not either in respect of religion or discretion Not in religion for where God has absolutely commanded a duty to be paid 't is not any unworthiness of the person can excuse from it nor in Discretion for the worse a husband is the more need there is for the wife to carry her self with that gentleness and sweetness that may be most likely to win him This is the advice S. Peter gave the wives of his time 1 Peter 3. 1. Likewise ye wives be in subiectâ—on to your own husbands that if any obey not the Word they may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives It seemes the good behaviour of the wives was thought a powerful means to win men from Heathenism to Christianity and sure it might now a dayes have some good effects if women would have but the patience to try it At the least 't would have this that it would keep some tolerable quiet in Families whereas on the other side the ill fruits of the wives unquietness are so notorious that there are few neighbourhoods but can give some instance of it How many men are there that to avoid the noise of a froward wise have fallen to company keeping and by that to drunkenness poverty and a multitude of mischiefs Let all wives therefore beware of administring that temptation But whenever there happens any thing which in kindness to her husband she is to admonish him of let it be with that sofeness and mildness that it may appear 't is love and not anger that makes her speak 12. There are also on the Husbands part several duties There is first Love which Saint Paul requires to be very tender compassionate towards the wife as appears by the simâ—litudes he useth in that matter Ephes. 5. The one that of the love a man bears to his natural body No man sayes he Verse 27. ever hated his own flesh but nourisheth it and cherisheth it The other love is that Christ bears to his Church which is far greater verse 26. both which he sets as paterns for this love of Husbands towards their Wives This utterly forbids all harshness and roughness to them Men are to use them as parts of themselves to love them as their own bodies and therefore to do nothing that may be hurtful and grievous to them no more then they would cut and gash their own flesh Let those husbands that tyrannize over their wives that scarce use them like humane creatures consider whether that
be to love them as their own bodies 13. A second duty of the Husband is Faithfulness to the bed This is by God as well required of the husband as the wife and though the world do seem to look on the breach of this duty with less abhorrence in the husband yet sure before that Just Judge the offence will appear no less on the mans side then the womans This is certain 't is in both a breach of the vow made to each other at their Marriage and so besides the uncleanness a down-right perjury and those differences in the case which seem to cast the scale are rather in respect of civil and worldly consideration then meerly of the sin 14. A third duty of the Husband is to maintain and provide for the Wife He is to let her partake with him in those outward good things wherewith God hath blest him and neither by niggardliness debar her of what is fit for her nor yet by unthriftiness so waste his goods that he shall become unable to support her This is certainly the duty of the husband who being as hath been said to account his wife as a part of his own body must have the very same care to sustain her that he hath for himself Yet this is not so to be understood as to excuse the wife from her part of labour and industry when that is requisite it being unreasonable the husband should toil to maintain the wife in idleness 15. Fourthly The husband is to instruct the wife in the things which concern her eternal welfare if she be ignorant of them Thus St. Paul bids the wives learn of their husbands at home 1 Cor. 14. 36. which supposes that the husband is to teach her Indeed it belongs to every Master of a Family to endeavour that all under his charge be taught all necessary things of this kinde and then sure more especially his wife who is so much nearer to him then all the rest This should make men careful to get knowledge themselves that so they may be able to perform this duty they owe to others 16. Lastly Husbands and Wives are mutually to pray each for other to beg all blessings from God both spiritual and temporal and to endeavour all they can to do all good to one another especially all good to each others Souls by stirring up to the performance of duty and disswading and drawing back from all sin and by being like true yoke-fellowes helpful and assistant to each other in the doing of all sorts of good both to their own Family and all others within their reach This is of all other the truest and most valuable love Nay indeed how can it be said they do love at all who can contentedly let each other run on in a course that will bring them to eternal misery And if the love of husbands and wives were thus grounded in Vertue and Religion 't would make their lives a kinde of Heaven on earth 't would prevent all those contentions and brawlings so common among them which are the great plagues of Families and a lesser Hell in passage to the greater and truly where it is not thus founded there is little comfort to be expected in marriage 17. It should therefore be the care of every one that means to enter upon that state to consider advisedly before hand and to choose such a person with whom they may have this spiritual friendship that is such a one as truly fears God There are many false ends of Marriage lookt upon in the world some marry for Wealth others for Beauty and generally they are only worldly respects that are at all considered but certainly he that would Marry as he ought should contrive to make his Marriage useful to those better ends of serving God and saving his own Soul at least he must be sure it be no hindrance to them and to that purpose the vertue of the person chosen is more conducing then all the wealth in the world though I deny not but that a competency of that may likewise be considered 18. But above all things let all take heed that they make not such marriages as may not only be ill in their effects but are actual sins at the time such are the marriages of those that were formerly promised to some other in which case 't is sure they rightly belong to those to whom they past the first promise and then for any other to marry them during the life of that person is to take the husband or wife of that other which is direct adultery as S. Paul tells us Rom. 7. 3. The like unlawfulness there is also in the marriage of those who are within those degrees of kindred forbidden by God the particulars whereof are set down in the 18. and 20. of Lev. and whoever marries any that is within any of those degrees of neerness either to himself or to his deceased wife which is as bad commits that great sin of Incest and so long as he continues to live with such his unlawful wife remains in that fearful guilt This wariness in the choice of the person to be married would prevent many sad effects which we daily see follow such rash or unlawful matches it were well therefore if people would look on marriage as our Church advises as a thing not to be undertaken lightly unadvisedly or wantonly to satisfie mens carnal lusts and appetites but reverently discreetly advisedly soberly and in the fear of God and in so doing no doubt a blessing would follow which otherwise there is little ground to expect I have now done with this Relation between Husband and Wife 19. The next is that between Friends and this Relation if it be rightly founded it is of great neerness and usefulness but there is none more generally mistaken in the world men usually call them their friends with whom they have an intimacy and frequency of conversation though that intimacy be indeed nothing but an agreement and combination in sin The Drunkard thinks him his friend that will keep him company the Deceitful person him that will aid him in his cheats the Proud man him that will flatter him And so generally in all vices they are look't on as friends that advance and further us in them But God knowes this is far from friendship such a friend as this the Devil himself is in the highest degree who is never backward in such offices The true friendship is that of a direct contrary making 't is a concurrence and agreement in vertue not in vice in short a true friend loves his friend so that he is very zealous of his good and certainly he that is really so will never be the instrument of bringing him to the greatest evil The general duty of a Friend then must be resolved to be the industrious pursuit of his friends real advantages in which there are several particulas contained 20. As first
ordinary communication WORSHIP Not worshipping God Omitting prayers publick or private and being glad of a pretence to do so Asking unlawful things or to unlawful ends Not purifying our hearts from sin before we pray Not praying with Faith and Humility Coldness and deadness in prayer Wandring thoughts in it Irreverent gestures of body in prayer REPENTANCE Neglecting the duty of Repentance Not calling our selves to dayly account for our sins Not assigning any set or solemn times for humiliation and confession or too seldome Not deeply considering our sins to beget contrition for them Not acting revenges on our selves by fasting and other acts of Mortification IDOLATRY Outward Idolatry in worshipping of creatures Inward Idolatry in placing our love and other affections more on creatures then the Creator To our SELVES HUMILITY BEing puft up with high conceits of our selves In respect of natural parts as beauty wit c. Of worldly riches and honours Of Grace Greedily seeking the praise of men Directing Christian Actions as prayer alms c. to that end Committing sins to avoid reproach from wicked men MEEKNES Disturbing our minds with Anger and peevishness CONSIDERATION Not carefully Examining what our estate towards God is Not trying our selves by the true rule i. e. our obedience to Gods commands Not weighing the lawfulness of our actions before we venture on them Not examining our past actions to repent of the ill to give God the glory of the good CONTENTEDNES Uncontentedness in our estates Greedy desires after honour and riches Seeking to gain them by sinful means Envying the condition of other men DILIGENCE WATCHFULNES Being negligent in observing and resisting temptations Not improving Gods gifts outward or inward to his honour Abusing our natural parts as wit memory strength c. to sin Neglecting or resisting the motions of Gods Spirit CHASTITY Uncleanness adultery fornication unnatural lusts c. Uncleanness of the eye and hand Filthy and obscene talking Impure sancies and desires Heightning of lust by pampering the body Not labouring to subdue it by fasting or other severities TEMPERANCE Eating too much Making pleasure not health the end of eating Being too curious or costly in meats Drunkenness Drinking more then is useful to our bodies though not to drunkenness Wasting the time or estate in good fellowship Abusing our strengâ—h of brain to the making others drunk Immoderate sleeping Idleness and negligence in our callings Using unlawful Recreations Being too vehement upon lawful ones Spending too much time at them Being drawn by them to anger or covetousness Being proud of apparel Striving to go beyond our rank Bestowing too much time care or cost about it Abstaining from such excesses not out of conscience but covetousness Pinching our bodies to fill our purses To our NEIGHBOUR NEGATIVE JUSTICE BEing Injurious to our Neighbour Delighting causlesly to grieve his mind Ensnaring his soul in sin by command counsel enticement or example Affrighting him from godliness by our scoffing at it Not seeking to bring those to repentance whom we have led into sin MURDER Murder open or secret Drawing men to intemperance or other vices which may bring diseases or death Stirring men up to quarrelling and fighting Maiming or hurting the body of our neighbour Fierceness and rage against him ADULTERY Coveting our Neighbours wife Actually defiling her MALICE Spoiling the goods of others upon spight and malice COVETOUSNES Coveting to gain them to our selves OPPRESSION Oppressing by violence and force or colour of Law THEFT Not paying what we borrow Not paying what we have voluntarily promised Keeping back the wages of the servant and hireling DECEIT Unfaithfulness in trusts whether to the living or dead Using arts of deceit in buying and selling Exacting upon the necessities of our neighbours FALSE WITNES Blasting the credit of our neighbour By false witness By railing By whispering Incouraging others in their slanders Being forward to believe ill reports of our neighbour Causeless suspitions Rash judging of him Despising him for his infirmities Inviting others to do so by scoffing and dâ—riding him Bearing any malice in the heart Secret wishing of death or any kinde of hurt to our neighbour Rejoycing when any evil befalls him Nelecting to make what satisfaction we can for any sort of injury done to our neighbour POSITIVE JUSTICE HUMILITY LYING Churlish and proud behaviour to others Froward and peevish conversation Bitter and reproachful language Cursing Not paying the respect due to the qualities or gifts of others Proudly overlooking them Seeking to lessen others esteem of them Not imploying our abilities whether of minde or estate in administring to those whose wants require it GRATITUDE Unthankfulness to our Benefactors Especially those that admonish us Not amending upon their reproof Being angry at them for it Not reverencing our Civil Parent the lawful Magistrate Judging and speaking evil of him Grudging his just tributes Sowing sedition among the people Refusing to obey his lawful commands Rising up against him or taking part with them that do Despising our Spiritual Fathers Not loving them for their works sake Not obeying those commands of God they deliver to us Seeking to withhold from them their just maintenance Forsaking our lawful Pastors to follow factious teachers PARENTS Stubbern and irreverent behaviour to our natural Parents Despising and publishing their infirmities Not loving them nor endeavouring to bring them joy and comfort Contemning their counsels Murmuring at their Government Coveting their estates though by their death Not ministring to them in their wants of all sorts Neglecting to pray for Gods blessing on these several sorts of Parents Want of natural affection to children Mothers refusing to Nurse them without a just impediment Not bringing them timely to Baptisme Not early instructing them in the ways of God Suffering them for want of timely correction to get customes of sin Setting them evil examples Discouraging them by harsh and cruel usage Not providing for their subsistance according to our ability Consuming their portions in our own riot Reserving all till our death and letting them want in the mean time Not seeking to entail a blessing on them by our Christian lives Not heartily praying for them Want of affection to our natural brethren Envyings and heart-burnings towards them DUTY to BRETHREN Not loving our spiritual brethren i. e our fellow Christians Having no fellow feeling of their sufferings Causelesly for saking their communion in holy duties Not taking deeply to heart the desolations of the Church MARRIAGE Marrying within the degrees for bidden Marrying for undue ends as covetousness lust c. Unkind froward and unquiet behaviour towards the husband or wife Unfaithfulness to the bed Not bearing with the infirmities of each other Not endeavouring to advance one anothers good spiritual or temporal The wife resisting the lawful command of her husband Her striving for rule and dominion over him Not praying for each other FRIENDSHIP Unfaithfulness to a Friend Betraying his secrets Denying him assistance in his needs Neglecting lovingly to admonish him
which is this It is possible we may transgress against men and they not know it I may perhaps steal my neighbours goods or defile his wife and keep it so close that he shall not suspect me and so never bring me to punishment for it but this we cannot do with God he knows all things even the most secret thoughts of our hearts and therefore though we commit a sin never so closely he is sure to finde us and will as surely if we do not timely repent punish us eternally for it 48. And now surely it cannot but be confest that it is much safer displeasing men then God yet alas our practice is as if we believed the direct contrary there being nothing more ordinary with us then for the avoiding of some present danger we fear from men to rush our selves upon the indignation of God And thus it is with us when either to save our estates or credits or our very lives we commit any sin for that is plainly the chusing to provoke God rather then man 49. But God knowes this case of fear of men is not the only one wherein we venture to displease him for we commit many sins to which we have none of this temptation nor indeed any other as for instance that of Common Swearing to which there is nothing either of pleasure or profit to invite us Nay many times we who so fear the mischiefs that other men may do to us that we are ready to buy them off with the greatest sins do our selves bring all those very mischiefs upon us by sins of our own chusing Thus the careless Prodigal robs himself of his estate the Deceitful Dishoneft man or any that lives in open notorious sin deprives himself of his credit and the Drunkard Glutton brings diseases on himself to the shortning his life And can we think we do at all Fear God when that fear hath so little power over us that though it be backt with the many present mischiefs that attend upon sin it is not able to keep us from them surely such men are far from fearing God that they rather seem to defie him resolve to provoke him whatsoever it cost them either in this world or the next Yet so unreasonably partial are we to our selvs that even such as these will pretend to this fear you may examine multitudes of the most gross scandalous sinners before you shall meet with one that will acknowledge he fears not God It is strange it should be possible for men thus to cheat themselves but however it is certain we cannot deceive God he will not be mockt and therefore if we will not now so fear as to avoid sin we shall one day fear when it will be too late to avoid punishment 50. A Fift Duty to God that of TRUSTING in him that is depending and resting on him and that is First in all dangers Secondly in all wants We are to rest on him in all our dangers both Spiritual and Temporal Of the first sort are all those Temptations by which we are in danger to be drawn to sin And in this respect he hath promised that if we resist the Devil he shall flie from us Jam 4. 7. Therefore our duty is first to pray earnestly for Gods grace to enable us to overcome the temptation and Secondly to set our selves manfully to combate with it not yielding or giving consent to it in the least degree and whilst we do thus we are confidently to rest upon God that his grace will be sufficient for us that he will either remove the temptation or strengthen us to withstand it 51. Secondly in all outward Temporal Dangers we are to rest upon him as knowing that he is able to deliver us and that he will do so if he see it best for us if we be such to whom he hath promised his protection that is such as truly fear him To this purpose we have many promises in Scripture Ps. 34. 7. The Angel of the Lord tarrieth round about them that fear him and delivereth them Ps. 34. 20. The Lord delivereth the soules of his Saints and all that put their trust in him shall not be destitute and divers the like And also we have many examples as that of the three children in the Furnace Daniel 3. That of Daniel in the Lions Den Daniel 6. And many others all which serve to teach us this one lesson that if we go on conscionably in performing our duty we need not he dismayed for any thing that can be fall us for the God whom we serve is able to deliver us 52. Therefore in all dangers we are first humbly to pray for his aid and then to rest our selves cheerfully on him and assuring our selves that he will give such an issue as shall be most for our good But above all things we must be sure to fix our dependence wholly on him and not to relie on the creatures for help much less must we seek to deliver our selves by any unlawful means that is by the committing of any sin for that is like Saul 1 Samuel 28. 7. to go to the Witch that is to the Devil for help such courses do commonly deceive our hopes at the present and in stead of delivering us out of our streights plunge us in greater and those much more uncomfortable ones because then we want that which is the only support Gods favour and aid which we certainly forfeit when we thus seek to rescue our selves by any sinful means But supposing we could by such a way certainly free our selves from the present danger yet alas we are far from having gained safety by it we have only removed the danger from that which was less considerable and brought it upon the most precious part of us our Souls like an unskilful Physician that to remove a pain from the finger strikes it to the heart we are therefore grosly mistaken when we think we have plaied the good Husband in saving our Liberties or Estates or Lives themselves by a sin we have not saved them but madly overbought them laid out our very Souls on them And Christ tells us how little we shall gain by such bargains Mat. 17. 26. What is a man profited if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul Let us therefore resolve never to value any thing we can possess in this world at so high a rate as to keep it at the price of the least sin but when ever things are driven to such an issue that we must either part with some perhaps all our worldly possessions nay life it self or else commit a sin let us then remember that this is the season for us to perform that great and excellent duty of taking up the Cross which we can never so properly do in this case for our bearing of that which we have no possible way of avoiding can at most be said to be but the
excess yet it is possible there may be one on the other hand men may deny their bodies that which they necessarily require to their support and well being This is I believe a fault not so common as the other yet we sometimes see some very niggardly persons that are guilty of it that cannot find in their hearts to borrow so much from their chests as may feed their bellies or cloth their backs and that are so intent upon the world so moiling and drudging in it that they cannot afford themselves that competent time of sleep or recreation that is necessary If any that hath read the former part of this Discourse be of this temper let him not comfort himself that he is not guilty of those excesses there complained of and therefore conclude himself a good Christian because he is not intemperate for whoever is this covetous creature his abstaining shall not be counted to him as the vertue of temperance for it is not the love of temperance but wealth that makes him refrain And that is so far from being praise-worthy that it is that great sin which the Apostle tells us 1 Tim. 6. 10. is the root of all evil such a mans body will one day rise in judgement against him for defrauding it of its due portion those moderate refreshments and comforts which God hath allowed it This is an Idolatry beyond that of offering the children to Moloch Lev. 20. 3. they offered but their children but this covetous wretch sacrifices himself to his god Mammon whilest he often destroys his health his life yea finally his Soul too to save his purse I have now done with the second head of duty that to our selves contained by the Apostle under the word soberly PARTITION X. Of DUTIES to our NEIGHBOURS Of JUSTICE Negative Positive Of the sin of MURTHER Of the Hainousness of it the Punishments of it and the strange Discoveries thereof Of Maiming wounds and stripes § 1. I Come now to the third part of Duties those to our Neighbour which is by the Apostle summed up in gross in the word righteousness by which is meant not onely bare justice but all kind of charity also for that is now by the law of Christ become a debt to our neighbor and it is a piece of unrighteousness to defraud him out of it I shall therefore build all the particular duties we ow to our neighbor on those two general ones Justice and Charity 2. I begin with JUSTICE whereof there are two parts the one Negative the other Positive the negative justice is to do no wrong or injury to any The positive justice is to do right to all that is to yield them whatsoever appertains or is due unto them I shall first speak of the negative justice the not injuring or wronging any Now because a man is capable of receiving wrong in several respects this first part of justice extends it self into several branches answerable to those capacities of injury A man may be injured either in his Soul his body his possessions or credit and therefore this duty of negative justice lays a restraint on us in every of these That we do no wrong to any man in respect either of his Soul his body his possessions or credit 3. First This JUSTICE tyes us to do no hurt to his Soul and here my first work must be to examine what harm it is that the soul can receive it is we know an invisible substance which we cannot reach with our eye much less with our swords and weapons yet for all that it is capable of being hurt and wounded and that even to death 4. Now the Soul may be considered either in a natural or spiritual sense in the natural it signifies that which we usually call the mind of a man and this we all know may be wounded with gries or sadness as Solomon saith Prov. 15. 13. By sorrow of heart the spirit is broken Therefore whoever does causlesly afflict or grieve his neighbour he transgresses this part of justice and hurts and wrongs his soul. This sort of injury malicious and spiteful men are very often guilty of they will do things by which themselves reap no good nay often much harm onely that they may vex and grieve another This is a most savage inhumane humour thus to take pleasure in the sadness and afflictions of others and whoever harbours it in his heart may truly be said to be possest with a Devil for it is the nature only of those accursed spirits to delight in the miseries of men and till that be cast out they are fit onely to dwell as the possest person did Mar 5. 2. Among graves and tombs where there are none capable of receiving affliction by them 5. But the Soul may be considered also in the spiritual sense and so it signifies that immortal part of us which must live eternally either in bliss or woe in another world And the Soul thus understood is capable of two sorts of harm First That of sin Secondly That of Punishment the latter whereof is certainly the consequent of the former and therefore though God be the inflicter of punishment yet since it is but the effect of sin we may justly reckon that he that draws a man to sin is likewise the betrayer of him to punishment as he that gives a man a mortal wound is the cause of his death therefore under the evil of sin both are contained so that I need speak onely of that 6. And sure there cannot be a higher sort of wrong then the bringing this great evil upon the Soul sin is the disease and wound of the Soul as being the direct contray to Grace which is the health and soundness of it Now this wound we give to every Soul whom we do by any means whatsoever draw into sin 7. The wayes of doing that are divers I shall mention some of them whereof though some are more direct then others yet all tend to the same end Of the more direct ones there is first the commanding of sin that is when a person that hath power over another shall require him to do something which is unlawful an example of this we have in Nebuchadnezzars commanding the worship of the golden Image Dan. 3. 4. and his copy is imitated by any parent or master who shall require of his childe or servant to do any unlawful act Secondly there is counselling of sin when men advise and perswade others to any wickedness Thus Jobs wife counselled her husband to curse God Job 27. And Achitophel advised Absolom to go into his Fathers concubines 2 Sam. 16. 21. Thirdly there is enticing and alluring to sin by setting before men the pleasures or profits they shall reap by it Of this sort of enticement Solomon gives warning Prov. 1. 10. My son if sinners entice thee consent thou not if they say Come with us let us lay wait for blood let us lurk
are under it to enjoy any other good A man in pain having no taste of any the greatest delights If any man despise these as light injuries let him again ask himself how he would like it to have his own body slasht or bruised and put to pass under those painful means of cure which are many times necessary in such cases I presume there is no man would willingly undergo this from another and why then should thou offer it to him 22. The truth is this strange cruelty to others is the effect of a great pride and haughtiness of heart we look upon others with such contempt that we think it no matter how they are used we think they must bear blows from us when in the mean time we are so tender of our selves that we cannot hear the least word of disparagement but we are all on a flame The provocations to these injuries are commonly so slight that did not this inward pride dispose us to such an angriness of humour that we take fire at every thing it were impossible we should be moved by them Nay some are advanced to such a wantonness of cruelty that without any provocation at all in cool blood as they say they can thus wrong their poor brethren and make it part of their pastime and recreation to cause pain to others Thus some tyrannous humours take such a pleasure in tormenting those under their power that they are glad when they can but finde a pretence to punish them and then do it without all moderation and others will set men together by the ears only that they may have the sport of seeing the scuffle like the old Romans that made it one of their publick sports to see men kill one another and sure we have as little Christianity as they if we can take delight in such spectacles 23. This savageness and cruelty of minde is so unbecoming the nature of a man that he is not allowed to use it even to his beast how intollerable is it then towards those that are of the same nature and which is more are heirs of the same eternal hopes with us They that shall thus transgress against their neighbours in any of the foregoing particulars or what ever else is hurtful to the body are unjust persons want even this lowest sort of justice the negative to their neighbours in respect of their bodies 24. Neither can any man excuse himself by saying what he has done was onely in return of some injury offered him by the other for suppose it be so that he have indeed received some considerable wrong yet cannot he be his own revenger without injury to that man who is not by being thine enemy become thy vassal or slave to do with him what thou list thou hast never the more right of dominion over him because he hath done thee wrong and therefore if thou hadst no power over his body before 't is certain thou hast none now and therefore thou art not only uncharitable which yet were sin enough to damn thee but unjust in every act of violence thou doest to him Nay this injustice ascends higher even to God himself who hath reserved vengeance as his own peculiar right Vengeance is mine I will repay saith the Lord Rom. 12. 19. and then he that will act revenge for himself what does he but incroach upon this special right and prerogative of God snatch the sword as it were out of his hand as if he knew better how to weild it which is at once a robbery and contempt of the Divine Majesty PARTITION XI Of JUSTICE about the Possessions of our Neighbour against Injuring him as concerning his WIFE his GOODS Of Malice Covetousness Oppression Theft Of Paying of Debts c. § 1. THe third part of Negative Justice concerns the possessions of our Neighbours what I mean by Possessions I cannot better explain then by referring you to the Tenth Commandment the end of which is to bridle all covetous appetites and desires towards the possessions of our neighbour There we find reckoned up not only his house servants and cattel which may all pass under the one general name of his goods or riches but particularly his wife as a principal part of his possessions and therefore when we consider this duty of negative justice in respect of the possessions of our Neighbour we must apply it to both his wife as well as his goods 2. The especial and peculiar right that every man hath in his wife is so well known that it were vain to say any thing in proof of it the great impatience that every husband hath to have this right of his invaded shews that it is sufficiently understood in the world and therefore none that does this injury to another can be ignorant of the greatness of it The corrupting of a mans wife enticing her to a strange bed is by all acknowledged to be the worst sort of theft infinitely beyond that of the goods 3. Indeed there is in this one a heap of the greatest injustices together some towards the woman and some towards the man Towards the Woman there are the greatest imaginable it is that injustice to her soul which was before mentioned as the highest of all others 't is the robbing her of her innocency and setting her in a course of the horridst wickedness no less then lust and perjury together from which it is probable she may never return and then it proves the damning of her eternally Next it is in respect of this world the robbing her of her credit making her abhorred and despised and her very name a reproach among all men and besides it is the depriving her of all that happiness of life which arises from the mutual kindness and affection that is between man and wife instead whereof this brings in a loathing and abhorring of each other from whence flow multitudes of mischiefs too many to rehearse in all which the man hath his share also 4. But besides those there are to him many and high injustices for it is first the robbing him of that which of all other things he accounts most precious the love and faithfulness of his wife and that also wherein he hath such an incommunicable right that himself cannot if he would make it over to any oother and therefore sure it canot without the utmost injustice be torn from him by any Nor is this all but it is farther the ingulfing him if ever he come to discern it in that most tormenting passion of jealousie which is of all others the most painful and which oft puts men upon the most desperate attempts it being as Solomon sayes Prov. 6. 34. The rage of a man It is yet farther the bringing upon him all that scorn and contempt which by the unjust measures of the world falls on them which are so abused and which is by many esteemed the most insufferable part of the wrong and though it be
portion of every mans increase to the use of the poor a tenth every third year which is all one with a thirtieth part every year Deut. 14. 28. 29. And this was to be paid not as a charity or liberality but as a debt they were unjust if they withheld it And surely we have no reason to think that Christian justice is sunk so much below the Jewish that either nothing at all or a less proportion is now required of us I wish our practise were but at all answerable to our obligation in this point and then surely we should not see so many Lazarus's lie unrelieved at our doors they having a better right to our superfluities then we our selves have and then what is it but arrant robbery to bestow that upon our vanities nay our sins which should be their portion 32. In all the foregoing cases he that hath ability is to look upon himself as Gods steward who hath put it into his hands to distribute to them that want and therefore not to do it is the same injustice and fraud that it would be in any steward to purse up that money for his private benefit which was intrusted to him for the maintainance of the family and he that shall do thus hath just reason to expect the doom of the unjust steward Luke 16. to be put out of the stewardship to have those abilities taken from him which he hath so unfaithfully imployed And as for all the rest so particularly for that of wealth 't is very commonly to be observed that it is withdrawn from those that thus defraud the poor of their parts the griping miser coming often by strange undiscernable wayes to poverty and no wonder he having no title to Gods blessing on his heap who does not consecrate a part to him in his poor members And therefore we see the Israelites before they could make that challenge of Gods promise to bless them Deut. 26. 15. Look down from thy holy habitation and bless thy people Israel c. they were first to pay the poor mans tithes ver 12. without which they could lay no claim to it This withholding more then is meet as Solomon sayes Prov. 11. 24. tends to poverty and therefore as thou wouldst play the good husband for thy self be careful to perform this justice according to thy ability to all that are in want 33. The third qualification is that of Relation and of that there may be divers sorts arising from divers grounds and duties answerable to each of them There is first a relation of a Debter to a Creditor and he that stands in that relation to any whether by vertue of bargain loan or promise 't is his duty to pay justly what he owes if he be able as on the otherside if he be not 't is the Creditors to deal charitably and Christianly with him and not to exact of him beyond his ability But I need not insist on this having already by shewing you the sin of withholding debts informed you of this duty 34. There is also a relation of an obliged person to his Benefactor that is one that hath done him good of what kind soever whether spiritual or corporal and the duty of that person is first thankfulness that is a ready and hearty acknowledgement of the courtesie received secondly prayer for Gods blessings and rewards upon him and thirdly an endeavour as opportunity and ability serves to make returns of kindness by doing good turns back again This duty of gratitude to Benefactors is so generally acknowledged by all even the most barbarous and savagest of men that he must have put off much of his humane nature that refuses to perform it The very Publicans and sinners as our Saviour sayes do good to those â—â—a do good to them 35. Yet how many of us fail even in this how frequent is it to see men not only neglect to repay curtesies but return injuries in stead of them it is too observable in many particulars but in none more then in the case of advice and admonition which is of all others the most precious part of kindness the reallest good turn that can be done from one man to another And therefore those that do this to us should be lookt on as our prime and Greatest Benefactors But alas how few are there that can finde gratitude shall I say nay patience for such a courtesie Go about to admonish a man of a fault or tell him of an Errour he presently looks on you as his enemy you are as S. Paul tells the Galatians Chap. 4. 16. become his enemy because you tell him the truth such a pride there is in mens hearts that they must not be told of any thing amiss though it be with no other intent but that they may amend it A strange madness this is the same that it would be in a sick man to fly in the face of him that comes to cure him on a fancy that he disparaged him in supposing him sick so that we may well say with the Wise man Prov. 12. 1. He that hateth reproof is bruitish There cannot be in the world a more unhappy temper for it fortifies a man in his sins raises such Mounts and Bulwarks about them that no man can come to assault them and if we may believe Solomon destruction will not fail to attend it Prov. 29. 1. He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck shall suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy But then again in respect of the admonisher 't is the greatest injustice I may say cruelty that can be he comes in tenderness and compassion to rescue thee from danger and to that purpose puts himself upon a very uneasie task for such the general impatience men have to admonition hath now made it and what a defeat what a grief is it to him to find that in stead of reforming the first fault thou art run into a second to wit that of causless displeasure against him This is one of the worst and yet I doubt the commonest sort of unthankfulness to Benefactors and so a great failing in that duty we owe to that sort of relation But perhaps these will be look't on as remote relations yet 't is sure they are such as challenge all that duty I have assigned to them I shall in the next place proceed to those relations which are by all acknowledged to be of the greatest neerness PARTITION XIV Of Duty to Parents Magistrates Pastors Of the Duty of Parents to Children c. § 1. THE first of those neerer sorts of relations is that of a Parent And here it will be necessary to consider the several sorts of Parents according to which the duty of them is to be measured Those are these three the Civil the Spiritual the Natural 2. The Civil Parent is he whom God hath establisht the Supream Magistrate who by a just right possesses the Throne in a Nation This
to the counsel of their parents But the youth of our Age set up for wisdom the quite contrary way and think they then become wits when they are advanced to the despising the counsel yea mocking the persons of their parents Let such if they will not practice the exhortations yet remember the threatning of the wise man Pro. 30. 17. The eye that mocketh his father and despiseth to obey his mother the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young Eagles shall eat it A second duty to them is love we are to bear them a real kindness such as may make us heartily desirous of all manner of good to them and abhor to do any thing that may grieve or disquiet them This will appear but common gratitude when 't is remembred what our parents have done for us how they were not only the instruments of first bringing us into the world but also of susteining and supporting us after and certainly they that rightly weigh the cares and fears that go to the bringing up of a child will judge the love of that childe to be but a moderate return for them This love is to be exprest several ways fiâ—st in all kindness of behaviour carrying our selves not only with an awe and respect but with kindness and affection and thâ—refore most gladly and readily doing those things which may bring joy and comfort to them and carefully avoiding whatever may grieve and afflict them Secondly this love is to be exprest in praying for them The debt a childe owes to a parent is so great that he can never hope himself to discharge it he is therefore to call in Gods aid to beg of him that he will reward all the good his parents have done for him by multiplying his blessings upon them what shall we then say to those children that in stead of calling to heaven for blessings on their parents ransack hell for curses on them and powre out the blackest execrations against them This is a thing so horrid that one would think there needed no perswasion against it because none could be so vile as to fall into it but we see God himself who best knows mens hearts saw it possible and therefore laid the heaviest punishment upon it He that curseth father or mother let him die the death Exod 21. 17 And alas our dâ—yly experience tells us 't is not only possible but common even this of uttering curses But 't is to be fâ—ared there is another yet more common that is the wishing cuâ—ses thâ—ugh fear or shame keep them from speaking out How many children are there that either through impatience of the Government or greediness of the possessions of the Parents have wisht their deaths But whoever doth so let him remember that how slâ—ly and fairly soever he carry it before men there is one that sees those secretest wishes of his heart and in his sight he assuredly passes for this hainous offender a curser of his Parents And then let it be considered that God hath as well the power of punishing as of seeing and therfore since he hath pronounced death to be the reward of that sin 't is not unreasonable to expect he may himself inflict it that they who watch for the death of their Parents may untimely meet with their own The fifth Commandment promiseth long life as the reward of honouring the Parent to which 't is very agreeable that untimely death be the punishment of the contrary and sure there is nothing more highly contrary to that duty then this we are now speaking of the cursing our Parents 14. The third duty we owe to them is Obedience This is not onely contained in the fifth Commandment but expresly injoyned in other places of Scripture Ephes. 6. 1. Children obey your Parents in the Lord for this is right and again Col. 3. 20. Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. We owe them an obedience in all things unless where their commands are contrary to the commands of God for in that case our duty to God must be preferred and therefore if any Parent shall be so wicked as to require his childe to steal to lie or to do any unlawful thing the childe then offends not against his duty though he disobey that command nay he must disobey or else he offends against a higher duty even that he owes to God his Heavenly Father Yet when 't is thus necessary to refuse obedience he should take care to do it in such a modest and respectful manner that it may appear 't is conscience onely and not stubbornness moves him to it But in case of all lawful commands that is when the thing commanded is either good or not evil when it hath nothing in it contrary to our duty to God there the childe is bound to obey be the command in a weightier or lighter matter How little this duty is regarded is too manifest every where in the world where Parents generally have their children no longer under command then they are under the rod when they are once grown up they think themselves free from all obedience to them or if some do continue to pay it yet let the motive of it be examined and 't will in too many be found only Worldly Prudence They fear to displease their Parents least they should shorten their hand toward them and so they shall lose somewhat by it but how few are there that obey purely upon conscience of duty This Sin of Disobedience to Parents was by the Law of Moses punishable with death as you may read Deut. 21. 18. but if Parents now a dayes should proceed so with their children many might soon make themselves childless 15. But of all the acts of disobedience that of marrying against the consent of the Parent is one of the highest Children are so much the goods the Possessions of the Parent that they cannot without a kind of theft give away themselves without the allowance of those that have the right in them and therefore we see under the Law the Maid that had made any vow was not suffered to perform it without the Consent of the Parent Numb 30. 5. the right of the Parent was thought of force enough to cancel and make void the Obligation even of a vow and therefore surely it ought to be so much considered by us as to keep us from making any such whereby that right is infringed 16. A fourth duty to the Parent is to assist and minister to them in all their wants of what kind soever whether weakness and sickness of body decayedness of understanding or poverty and lowness in estate in all these the child is bound according to his ability to relieve and assist them for the two former weakness of body and infirmity of minde none can doubt of the duty when they remember how every child did in his infancy receive the very same benefit from the
Parent the child had then no strength to support no understanding to guide it self the care of the Parents was fain to supply both these to it and therefore in common gratitude whenever either of these becomes the Parents case as sometimes by great age or some accident both do the childe is to perform the same offices back again to them As for that of Relieving their poverty there is the very same Obligation to that with the former it being but just to sustain thy Parent who has formerly sustained thee but besides this Christ himself teaches us that this is contained within the precept of honouring their Parents for when Mar. 7. 13. he accuses the Pharisees of rejecting the Commandement of God to cleave to their own traditions he instances in this particular concerning the relieving of Parents whereby 't is manifest that this is a part of that duty which is injoyned in the fifth Commandement as you may see at large in the Text and such a duty it is that no pretence can absolve or acquit us of it How then shall those answer it that deny relief to their poor Parents that cannot part with their own excesses and superfluities which are indeed their sins to satisfie the necessities of those to whom they owe their being Na some there are yet worse who out of pride scorn to own their parents in their poverty Thus it often happens when the Child is advanced to dignity or wealth they think it a disparagement to them to look on their Parents that remain in a low condition it being the betraying as they think to the world the meanness of their birth and so the poor Parent fares the worse for the prosperity of his child This is such a pride and unnaturalness together as will surely finde a sharp vengeance from God for if Solomon observe of Pride alone that it is the fore-runner of destruction Prov. 16. 18. we may much rather conclude so of it when it is thus accompanied 17. To this that hath been said of the duty of Children to their Parents I shall adde only this That no unkindness no fault of the Parent can acquit the childe of this duty but as S. Peter tells servants 1 Peter 2. 18. that they must be subject not onely to the good and gentle Masters but also to the froward so certainly it belongs to children to perform duty not only to the kinde and vertuous but even to the harshest and wicked'st Parent For though the gratitude due to a kinde Parent be a very forcible motive to make the child pay his duty yet that is not the only nor chiefest ground of it That is laid in the Command of God who requires us thus to honour our Parents and therefore though we should suppose a Parent so unnatural as never to have done any thing to oblige the childe which can hardly be imagined yet still the Command of God continues in force and we are in conscience of that to perform that duty to our Parents thouâ—h none of the other tye of gratitude should lye on us But as this is due from the childe to the Parents so on the other side there are other things also due from the Parents to the Childe and that throughout the several states and Ages of it 18. First There is the care of nourishing and sustaining it which begins from the very birth and continues a duty from the Parent till the child be able to perform it to himself This is a duty which nature teaches even the savage beasts have a great care and tendernesse in nourishing their young and therefore may serve to reproach and condemn all Parents who shall be so unnatural as to neglect this I shall not here enter into the question Whether the Mother be obliged to give the Childe its first nourishment by giving it Suck her self because 't will not be possible to affirm universally in the Case there being many circumstances which may alter it and make it not only lawful but best not to do it all I shall say is that where no impediment of sickness weakness or the like does happen 't is surely best for the Mother her self to perform this office there being many advantages to the childe by it which a good Mother ought so far to consider as not to sell them to her own sloth or niceness or any such unworthy motive for where such only are the grounds of â—oâ—bearing it they will never be able to justifie the omission they being themselves unjustifiable But besides this first care which belongs to the body of the childe there is another which should begin near as early which belongs to their Souls and that is the bringing them to the Sacrament of Baptism thereby to procure them an early right to all those precious advantages which that Sacrament conveyes to them This is a duty the Parents ought not to delay it being most reasonable that they who have been instruments to convey the stain and pollution of sin to the poor Infant should be very earnest and industrious to have it washt off as soon as may be Besides the life of so tender a creature is but a blast and many times gone in a moment and though we are not to despair of Gods mercy to those poor children who dye without Baptism yet surely those Parents commit a great fault by whose neglect it is that they want it 19. Secondly The Parents must provide for the education of the childe they must as Solomon speaks Proverbs 22. 6. Train up the childe in the way he should go As soon therefore as children come to the use of reason they are to be instructed and that first in those things which concern their eternal well-being they are by little and little to be taught all those things which God hath commanded them as their duty to perform as also what glorious rewards he hath provided for them if they do it and what grievous and eternal punishments if they do it not These things ought as early as is possible to be instilled into the minds of children which like new vessels do usually keep the favour of that which is first put into them and therefore it neerly concerns all Parents to look they be at first thus seasoned with Vertue and Religion 'T is sure if this be neglected there is one ready at hand to fill them with the contrary the Devil will be diligent enough to instil into them all wickedness and vice even from their cradles and there being also in all our natures so much the greater aptness to evil then to good there is need of great care and watchfulness to prevent those endeavours of that enemy of Souls which can no way be but by possessing them at first with good things breeding in them a love to vertue and a hatred of vice that so when the temptations come they may be armed against them This surely is above all things the duty
of Parents to look after and the neglect of it is a horrible cruelty We justly look upon those Parents as most unnatural wretches that take away the life of their childe but alas that is mercy and tenderness compared to this of neglecting his education for by that he ruines his Soul makes him miserable eternally and God knowes multitudes of such cruel Parents there are in the world that thus give up their children to be possest by the Devil for want of an early acquainting them with the wayes of God nay indeed how few there are that do conscionably perform this duty is too apparant by the strange rudeness and ignorance that is generally among youth the children of those who call themselves Christians being frequently as ignorant of God and Christ as the meerest Heathens But whoever they are that thus neglect this great duty let them know that it is not only a fearful misery they bring upon their poor children but also a horrible guilt upon themselves For as God sayes to the careless watchmen Ezek. 3. 18. That if any soul perish by his negligence that soul shall be required at his hands so surely will it fare with all Parents who have this office of watchmen intrusted to them by God over their own children A second part of education is the bringing them up to some imployment busying them in some honest exercise whereby they may avoid that great snare of the Devil Idleness and also be taught some useful Art or Trade whereby when they come to age they may become profitable to the Commonwealth and able to get an honest living to themselves 20. To this great duty of Educating of Children there is required as means first Encouragement secondly Correction Encouragement is first to be tryed we should endeavour to make children in love with duty by offering them rewards and invitations and when ever they do well take notice of it and encourage them to go on It is an ill course some parents hold who think they must never appear to their children but with a face of sowreness and austerity this seems to be that which S. Paul forewarns Parents of when he bids fathers not to provoke their children to wrath Col. 3. 21. To be as harsh and unkind to them when they do well as if they do ill is the way to provoke them and then the Apostle tels us in the same verse what will be the issue of it they will be discouraged they will have no heart to go on in any good course when the Parent affords them no countenance The second means is correction and this becomes seasonable when the former will do no good when all fair means perswasions and encouragements prevail not then there is a necessity of using sharper and let that be first tryed in words I mean not by railing and foul language but in sober yet sharp reproof but if that fail too then proceed to blowes and in this case as Solomon sayes He that spareth his rod hateth his son Prov. 13. 24. 'T is a cruel fondness that to spare a few stripes at present will adventure him to those sad mischiefs which commonly befal the childe that is left to himself But then this correction must be given in such a manner as may be likely to do good to which purpose it must first be given timely the child must not be suffered to run on in any ill till it have got a habit and a stubbornness too This is a great error in many Parents they will let their children alone for divers years to do what they list permit them to lie to steal without ever so much as rebuking them nay perhaps please themselves to see the witty shifts of the childe and think it matters not what they do while they are little But alas all that while the vice gets root and that many times so deep a one that all they can do afterwards whether by words or blowes can never pluck it up Secondly Correction must be moderate not exceeding the quality of the fault nor the tenderness of the childe Thirdly it must not be given in rage if it be it will not only be in danger of being immoderate but it will lose its effect upon the childe who will think he is corrected not because he has done a fault but because his Parent is angry and so will rather blame the Parent then himself whereas on the contrary care should be taken to make the childe as sensible of the fault as of the smart without which he will never be throughly amended 21. Thirdly after children are grown up and are past the age of education there are yet other offices for the Parent to perform to them the Parent is still to Watch over them in respect of their souls to observe how they practise those precepts which are given them in their education and accordingly to exhort incourage or reprove as they finde occasion 22. So also for their outward estate they are to put them into some course of living in the world if God have blest the Parents with wealth according to what he hath he must distribute to his children remembring that since he was the instrument of bringing them into the world he is according to his ability to provide for their comfortably living in it they are therefore to be look't on as very unnatural parents who so they may have enough to spend in their own riots and excess care not what becomes of their children never think of providing for them Another fault is usual among Parents in this business they defer all the provisions for them till themselves be dead heap up perhaps great matters for them against that time but in the mean time afford them not such a competency as may enable them to live in the world There are several mischiefs come from this First it lessens the childs affection to his parent nay sometimes it proceeds so far as to make him wish his death which though it be such a fault as no temptation can excuse in a childe yet 't is also a great fault in a Parent to give that temptation Secondly it puts the child upon shifts and tricks many times dishonest ones to supply his necessities this is I doubt not a common effect of it the hardness of Parents has often put men upon very unlawful courses which when they are once acquainted with perhaps they never leave though the first occasion cease and therefore Parents ought to beware how they run them upon those hazards Besides the Parents loses that contentment which he might have in seeing his children live prosperously and comfortably which none but an arrant Earth Worm would exchange for the vain imaginary pleasure of having money in his chest But in this business of providing for children there is yet another thing to be heeded and that is that the Parent get that wealth honestly which he makes their portion else 't is very far