not so it is easy to judge your sorrow is over-much Q. 7. Is not your sorrow over-much when it hinders you and keeps you from rejoycing in God from praising of him and giving thanks unto him for the mercies you have mixed with your affliction Have not you more Mercies left than you have lost have not you greaeter Mercies continued than are removed is your Earthly Father dead but have not you still a Father in Heaven is your Wife dead but is not your Soul married to Christ and though the Conjugal Union be broken by Death yet doth not the Mystical Union betwixt Christ and you still remain have not you the pardon of Sin the favour of God the sense of his Love and Hopes of Heaven seriously set these over against your Dead and say if you have not more cause to rejoice in God and give him thanks for these than you have to mourn for your Dead and whether God doth not command you more and give you a stricter charge sor these to rejoice in him than to mourn for your Dead and consequently is the grand constant Duty you owe to God all the days of your Life and are you so much indebted to your dead as you are to the Living God Was their Life of so much worth to you as your Relation to God is and your Receivings from him see your Duty and cease from that which hinders your performance of it Phil. 3.1 Finally my Brethren rejoice in the Lord. Whatsoever state you are in serve God with joyful hearts Phil. 4.4 Rejoice in the Lord alway and again I say rejoice Always rejoice in the Lord What whâ—n my Father or Mother or Child Wife or Husband lieth dead in my House or is newly lodged in the Grave Is it not alway you are commanded to rejoice is there this Exception when you have any Relation dead that then this should be no Duty Have not Christians always greater cause of rejoycing in the Lord than they have of sorrow for Worldly Losses is not holy joy in the Lord and a thankful praising of God the very Flower of Religion and makes us most like the Angels and Saints above but can you thus rejoice and praise and magnifie God and triumph in his Love and Grace when you are overwhelmed with sorrow for the loss of Worldly Comforts and is not that sorrow too much that unfits you for this constant standing Duty 1 Thes 5.16 Rejoice evermore 17. Pray without ceasing 18. In every thing give thanks for this is the will of God in Jesus Christ concerning you Whatever a true Believer doth lose he should rejoice because the Grounds and Reasons and Causes of Joy do still remain and in every Case and Condition of life should give thanks to God for as much as the Good that continueth to him doth exceed the Evils that do befal him This is God's revealed Will making it our Duty for the great Blessings we receive from him by Christ Job's sorrow for the loss of ten Children in one day by a strange unusual death added to all his former Losses making his Case more sorrowful than yours was kept within such Bounds as that he was able even then to bless and praise the Lord. Job 1.19 They are dead 21. He said naked came I out of my mother's womb and naked shall I return thither the Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord. In your sorrow try if you can do so if not judge whether it be not over-much Q. 8. Is not that sorrow for your dead over-much which doth deaden your Heart towards God in all Holy Duties You were wont to pray with a lively Heart and to hear the Word of God with warm Affections but now you pray with a dead Heart and hear with dull Affections Your Love and Desires and Delights are become as cold in your Duties as your Relations Corps are in the Grave What have you done in your sorrow taken away a lively Heart towards God and laid a dead Child a dead Father or Wife in the room of it Like the Woman in Solomon's Reign whose Child did die in the Night and there being another Woman in the House that had a living Child rose and while the living Child's Mother did slâ—ep took her living Child out of her Bosom and laid her dead Child in her Bosom in the room of the living Child But these two Women contended before Solomon one saying The living Child is mine but the dead Child is thine the other also said The dead Child is thine but the living Child is mine 1 Kings 3.16 to 24. Solomon commanded a Sword to be brought to divide the living Child and to give half to the one and half to the other The true Mothers Bowels yearning towards her Child said O my Lord give her the living Child and by no means slay it the other said Let it be neither mine nor thine but divide it whereby the King discerned the Natural Mother and commanded the living Child to be given to her ver 24 25 26 27. Love filled your Heart to your living Child Sorrow fills your Heart for your dead Child You had a lively frame of Heart when your Child was living but now it is dead through over-much sorrow you have laid your dead Child in your Bosom in the room of that Activity of Soul that before you had towards God and you lay claim to the dead Child this dead Child is my Child Alas this Child that is dead is mine But whose is your Hâ—art and Love God's or your Child's Take heed this be not the true answer during this fit of excessive sorrow it is not all God's â—or all the Child's but you have divided it between both and given half to the Living God and half to the Dead Child That sorrow that causeth you to make this division is excessive sorrow Q. 9. Is not that sorrow for your dead over-much when it all runs out to them that you are not sensible of nor concerned for the Calamities of the Church nor Afflictions and Sufferings of the People of God All your sorrow is contracted and all your Tears run in this one Channel for your dead Father or Mother Husband Wife or Children are not the Concerns of the Church of God greater than your selfish Matters Are not the Sufferings and Calamities Martyrdom by Burning and Wracking and Torturing of many dear to God greater Evils than the Natural death of your Relations Did Christ shed his Blood for his Church and amongst all your Tears for your dead cannot you drop one for the Suffering Church of God Are Men shedding their Blood and for this cannot you shed a Tear when you have so many for one dead Child or Husband or Wife Should not the Concerns of the Glory of God in Publick Affairs lye nearer your Heart than a dead Relation and wound deeper and make you sorrow more You are ready to die with
God hath a right to mine because he had redeemed them with his Blood and sanctified them by his Grace and Spirit and thereby set the Mark and Character of his own upon them and what had I to do to desire to keep his own with me when he had a purpose to call them and take them home unto himself If I had forfâ—ited the Mercy of their staying with me God retained his right to dispose of them at his pleasure therefore tho I have much to say against my self I have nothing to say against God or his proceedings with me in what he hath done unto me or taken from me But when our sorrow comes to be turbulent Passion we muâ—mur and think we do well we â—epâ—â—e and justifie our evil Act and Sorrow and think we do well to sorrow on till it break over all Banks and Bounds of Modâ—ration like Jonah when God himself did ask him Dost thou well to be angry Answered yes I do well to be angry even to the death Jon. 4.9 In this case such a one being asked do you well to sorrow thus when you see God hath done his holy Will And all your sorrow is unprofitable to the dead and hurtful to your self in Excess of passionate sorrow doth reply Yes I do well to sorrow even unto death God hath afflicted me and I am afflicted and I am sorrowful and will be so Will you But pray you take heâ—d what thoughts you have of God the mean while for in turbulent sorrow its hard not to have hard and unworthy Thoughts of God and to justifie him in the midst of vexing sorrows Ans 7. In kindly sorrow for our dead our Eyes are more clear to see our Mercies in our Affliction and what God continueth to us as well as what he taketh away from us So when Children thus mourn for their dead Mother they can see Mercy in a Living Father or for a Father taken from them by death can read tho with Tears in their Eyes God's sparing Mercy in continuing their Mother Parents mourning for the death of one Child can take notice of the goodness of God in preserving the rest from the Jaws of Death and say Where God hath taken away one he might have taken two where two he might have taken all he hath taken away some and therefore we sorrow under his heavy hand but yet he hath pleased to leave more with us than he hath removed from us and therefore in our Affliction come upon us we can see God's Mercy to us or if he hath taken more than he hath left yet we have one still and in our sorrow for our dead we can see much Mercy in one Child that doth Live But when our sorrow for our dead comes to be turbulent and the Actings of corrupt Affections the sense of the Less of one Relation takes away all thankfulness for and content in all the râ—st Parents setting their Hearts upon one Child more than all the râ—st and the Love they had to that one did equal the Love to all the othâ—r they loving that most and too much God singles that out first for a Prisoner of Death and then the remaining can scarce be called Mâ—rcies if moved to mitigate their sorrow for the one that is dead by the sight of those that live say What tell you us of these when the other is gone What are these tho with us when the other is taken away from us Thus Jacob coulâ— tâ—ke no comfort from all his Sons and Daâ—ghters wheâ— he supposed his Son Joseph was dâ—ad Gen. 37.33 34 35. But correct your turbulent â—orroâ— which hinders the sigâ—t of â—â—â—d'â— Mercy in thâ—m thaâ— live lâ—st he by death remove them also and make you groan and sigh and sâ—b fâ—r them when dead which yoâ— could see no Mercy in because one did die before Ans 8. In kindly sorrow for our dead we can better sympathize with others exercised with the like dealings of God Many can sorrow for their own dead that are not affected with the death of the Relations of others especially such as are turbulently sorrowful for their own Vexing Passion in our selves is joined with least compassion to others as we narrow our Love too much to our selves and where Self-love is too much Love to others is the less or none so the sorrow for the Evils that befall our selves when vexatious and corroding is less or none for the Afflictions that come upon others Tâ—ey think their Tears are few enough to express their own sorrows or too precious to be wasted for the sorrows of others These are more hard-hearted than Jews who wept with Mary and Martha for their dâ—ceased Brother Ans 9. In kindly sorrow for our dead we shall be more mindful of our own Death and stirred up to greater Care to make Holy Preparations for it As soon as David did hear his Child was deâ—d hâ— said I must go down to it When you sorrow rightly following your dead to their Gâ—â—ve you will have serious thoughts of your own My Wife is gone and I shall shortly follow My Husband is dead and so must I be too Our Mother is loâ—ged in the Dust and after a while we must be carried to lye by her therefore we will so mourn that we may reserve some Tears of Repentance for our Sin that as our Bodies must go to her Body in the Grave so our Souls may go to her Soul in the highest Heaven But turbulent sorrow for the dead is as if they again should never live and hinders their thoughts of their own Mortality as if they should never die While they are thinking in how many days they shall Bury their dead they are hoping how many years yet they shall live What turbulent discomposing besotting sorrow is this that when these Mourners stand and see the Corps they mourn over let down into the Grave cannot see where e're long they themselves shall be lodged Ans 10. In kindly sorrow for our dead we shall be moved to perform our Relative Duties with more Tenderness and Kindness with more Care and Love to those Relations that yet are with us When the Mother is dead the Father must shew more Care than he did before or did need to do because their Mother did much ease him of it So when the Father is dead the more the Mother should take Care accordding to her Capacity When Father or Mother or both are dead the natural kindly sorrow for them will dispose their Children as Brothers and Sisters to discharge their Relative Duties and live in greater Love than ever When Jacob was dead Joseph mourned all his Brethren mourned all went up to Bury their Father and at his Burial mourned greatly After this Joseph and his Brethren returned into Egypt they remembâ—ing how cruel they had been to Joseph said Now our Father is dead our Brother will certainly requite us for all the Evil we did to him but Josâ—ph was but
newly come out of the House of Mâ—urning and he said Fear not I will nourish you and your little ones and he comforted them and spake kindly to them Gen. 50.15 21. Our mourning for the dead should end in the mending of our Carriage and the regulating of our Affections towards the Living When we are mouâ—ning for the loss of one we should be seeking the Temporal and Spirituâ—l good of the rest that yet are found with us When God hath made a Breach in our Family for whiâ—h we sorrow we must be mâ—king up the Breaches of our Duties by filling up what before was wanting Death hath made a brâ—ach in our Houses a wide bâ—each which cannot be repaired for our Dead shall never be restored to us and Sin hath made a breach in our Comforts by the breach it made in our Duties the mourning for the breach by death in those taken from us should issue in repairing the breaches in our Duties to those that are continued to us Do we sorrow much for them that are dead whom we loved too much while they did live Let the greatness of our sorrow for the one moderate our Love unto the other Do we sorrow for our dead because we did not Love them with as great a Love as we should while they were with us let this sorrow produce due greater Love to them that do remain If sorrow for our dead do not mend our faults towards the Living it is a dead and fruitless ineffectual sorrow The Living should find some advantage by our sorrow for the dead Were you froward in your Family before and shall not your sorrow meeken your Spirit for time to come Did not you take care for the Religious Education of a Child that is dead and shall not your sorrow for him and the neglect of your Duty to him move you to make up to the Living what was wanting to the Dead Did not Children obey their Father before he died If they mourn kindly for a dead Father will they not yield better Obedience to their Living Mother And say Dear and Sorrowful Mother we were wanting in our Duty to our Father when he was with us for which we are sâ—rry now he is taken from us but be not grieved over-much and we will supply the want of our Duty to him by making up the more to you as long as God shall lend yon unto us We were a grief to him but we will be a comfort unto you We will indeavour to be as good to you as we were bad to him On his Dying Bed he did complain of us for our stubborn Carriage towards him but Mother since you have lost a Loving Husband and we a tender Father for whom you and we do now sorrow we will carry our selves towards you with that reverence obedience and honour to you that you shall not complain of us on your Dying Bed as our Father did on his CHAP. VI. Resolves this Question When is our Sorrow for our dead spiritually defective tho it be naturally abundant Or when is it too little as we are Christians be it never so much as we are Men VSE III. A Caution to the Mourners for their Dead is necessary because sorrow as sorrow or sorrow as great sorrow is not all in this case to be minded but how it ought to be regulated not only as we are Men but also as we are Christians If we sorrow not at all we are unworthy of the name of men because without the workings of those natural Affections in the Principle common to all men If we sorrow with turbulent Passion vexatious fretting Grief we sorrow as sinful men we may sin in our sorrow as well as in the want of it Which is worst let the offending judge If we sorrow as the meer fruit of Natural Affection with a kindly sorrow and not turbulent we sorrow but as men because we do no more than the Human Nature prompts and puts us on to do But a greater Task lyeth upon us as Christians and to an higher step it becomes us to ascend in our sorrow as we have a Principle of Grace higher than all Principles of Nature and the Scripture a more perfect Rule to govern our sorrow by to purifie and refine it than the Light of Nature is In the first Vse we spake to such as for want of sorrow under the Loss of near Relations and of sense of God's Afflicting Hand that took them from us seem not to be men while we see them to be men but below the Rank of men in the shape of men In the second Vse we pointed at them that sorrowed as men with a kindly sorrow distinguishing them from those that sorrow as sinful men with a turbulent sorrow vitiated with the Actings of corrupt Nature In this third Vse we shall speak of sorrow in our present case not meerly as Humane but as Christian and distinguish the one from the other Do not think me over-tedious on this Sorrowful Subject for herein I do not only consult the helping of my self to bear the Hand of God upon me and the searching of my own sorrow of what kind it is but the common good of mortal men whose case in one House or other one House or other In many Houses in this great City wherein many Hundreds die every Week this must be the common case of many every day When I sit in my Study and hear the sound of that which you call the Passing-bell in the next Parish to us Cripplegate Lord think I how many art thou calling to mourn as well as me and mine And tho you speak of a Passing-bell in common course of Speech and have not your Hâ—arts affected with tâ—e hearing of your Ears yet to me it makes a doleful sound while I think it is a Passing-bell for whither are they passing their Bodies from their Houses to their Graves from the Company of their Friends and Relations to be Companions of Worms and their Souls into Eternity of Joy or Torment to God and Christ and Holy Angels or to the Devil and his Angels for ever and so pass from us as no more to return unto us out of one World into another and so pass from this to that as to find no passage from that to this any more for ever Those that have past from us to the World of Immortal Spirits out of Time into Eternity have left us behind as Mourners not for their Gain which is cause of Joy but for our own Loss which to us is cause of sorrow and our Duty is to enquire further into the Nature of it which because you must die may be useful to your sorrowful Relations or your Relations must die and leave you to mourn for them and many every day have cause of sorrow by the death of some or other the Case being a common Case but the Question not a common Question I shall propound it and endeavour to resolve it When is
not you see he doth not mourn as he is a Child and stands in that Relation but as he hath Flesh that is pained by the strokes Might not he cry out under the Rod and yet be a stubborn Child a disobedient Child and not desire his Father's love in the way of his Duty nor lay to heart his Father's displeasure for the Evil he hath done Will you ask me Sir Are you sure God is displeased with me because by Death he hath removed my Relation from me I will ask you Are you sure that he is not Which doth it look most like Love or Displeasure And if you are not sure he is not displeased with you under such a Rod should not you sorrow lest he should be displeased Is the displeasure of God so small a thing in your Eye that the fear of it should not be ground of your Sorrow And say what if God should be angry with me in what he hath taken from me What if my Father should be displeased and the Death of this Relation be the fruit of it Is not here ground to sorrow as a Christian as well as a Man The loss of a good Husband or Wife Father Mother or Child is a burden heavy to be born but the loss of the favour of God is greater and his displeasure presseth more hard upon a Soul sensible of it and therefore prays O Lord if thou rebuke me let it not be in thine anger if thou chasten me let it not be in thy sore displeasure Psalm 6.1 The loss of a Relation is a Rebuke it is a chastening and it may be in anger and displeasure when it is so Sorrow for God's displeasure as Christians as for your own Affliction as Men. 3. When you Sorrow more for the loss of your Temporal Good by the Death of your Relation than for the Spiritual Advantage you might have gained by the continuance of their Lives You sorrow too much as Men but too liâ—tle as Christians You may sorrow for the one as well as for the other but you should not sorrow so much for the one as for the other because the one is better than the other and the loss of the one a greater loss than the other By their Death you sustain the loss of some outward Comforts for your Body and loss of some inward Advantages for your Soul as now they can instruct and teach you no more they can pray with you and for you no more they can help you to answer your doubts about your Spiritual State no more nor give you Arguments against your own Corruptions or Satan's Temptations any more nor reprove you for your Sin nor comfort you under your Afflictions nor exhort you to be making holy Preparations for Death nor direct you therein any more for ever nor by their continued Example stir you up to secret Prayer to maintain Communion with God all these were great Advantages you had by the Life of your holy Relations and by their Death they cease For this you do not sorrow saying My Godly Father my Holy Mother made many a Prayer shed many a Tear for me they pleaded with God for Grace and Mercy and Pardon for me but Death hath broken off the continuance of their Prayers and what a loser am I thereby They did observe and watch my Life and Actions what was Evil they reproved me for what was Good they did incâ—urage and countenance me in but Death hath closed their Eyes that they can now see neither Good nor Evil in me and hath tied their Tongue that they can speak no more to me concerning the one nor the other and who can tell the greatness of my loss for my Immortal Soul that I am under by their Death The like might be said concerning a Religious Husband an holy Zealous Wife Wherefore if you mourn never so much for your loss by their Death as to your Bodies and outward Estate and not so much as to your loss to your Soul and spiritual Condition it 's more like Men than Christians 4. When you Sorrow more for the want of their Company in Life than you do for want of a sanctified improvement of their Death you sorrow too much as Men and too little as Christians Nature helps you to the one but it must be Grace that must inable you to do the other Your Father or Mother Husband or Wife or Child is dead and you sit down and sorrow and say I shall never see these in my house any more they shall never sit with me at my Table any more they shall lodge in my Bed no more and dwell with me on Earth no more for ever I shall see them no more whom I did love to look upon when they were absent from me a Week or two a Month or two A Month a Day or two how glad was I at their return If their absence filled me with Sorrow their presence again did drive away my Sorrow and renewed my Joy If I parted with them when to go a Journey I did it with Tears of Grief but when they returned I received them with Tears of Joy If I sorrowed that they were gone yet the hopes of their safe return did asswage my Sorrow But now they are gone without return They have taken a long Journey and never to me will come back again They were use to take their leave and say farewel till I see you again but now they took their leave saying The Lord be with you for I shall be with you no more Oh this word no more doth even break my heart what my Father or Mother gone and shall I see them no more my Wife or Husband gone and shall I set mine Eyes on him or her no more My dear Child gone looking on whom did delight my Eyes and must I see him no more I look for my Relations at my Table but their place is empty and I cannot see them there I lock but I cannot see them I go to the Chamber where they did use to sit and Work or to the Closet where they did use to Pray but I cannot see them there I see the Work but them I cannot see I see their Hand-writing but them I cannot see I see their wearing Clothes but them that did use to wear them I cannot see to see these and not them doth renew and encrease my Sorrow when I can see these every day and no day can see them the more I multiply my Sorrow and methinks this Sorrrow is pleasent Sorrow and this Grief is delightful Grief and when I feel Sorrow added to Sorrow at the remembrance of them I must see no more methinks it pleaseth me to remember them tho it grieves me that I can not must not see them nor enjoy their Company nor my comfort in their Company any more for ever Is this your Sorrow And have you nothing else to do than to feed your Sorrow And please your self with this kind of Sorrow
deeply how great it is Rule 5. A Wicked Husband that is a constant Curse and a daily Cross unto his whole Family whose Wife is in a worse condition for Body and Soul than if she were a Widow and whose Children by reason of his want of Affection to them and Care for them are more exposed to Ruine than if they were Fatherless leaves little reason behind him why they should grieve and sorrow for his Death upon their own accounts For who can sorrow for a deliverance from a daily Cross Who can grieve for being eased of a Burden under which they so long did groan Who can sorrow upon their own account that one is gone that did rather Hate than Love them and filled their Hearts with daily sorrow their Eyes with flowing Tears and their Mouths with Heart-piercing Complaints And why should any dissemble sorrow for such by whose Wickedness and Sin against God and the Family God was dishonoured and the Family ruined when by death he is taken off from doing so upon Earth any more Do you ask who ever taught this Doctrine before Job did Job 27.13 This is the portion of a wicked Man with God and the Heritage of Oppressors which they shall receive of the Almighty 15. Those that remain of him shall be buried in death and his Widows shall not weep Were there â—ver any such Widows Yes Psal 78.64 Their Priests fell by the Sword and their Widows made no Lamentation Rule 6. In mourning for such Relations that neither did their Duty to God nor to their Family but lived to God's dishonour and their daily grief and died without Repentance for both our sorrow must be for their sakes and not our own For the ungodly and unnatural as dying impenitently in their Sins and for the Loss of their Souls and Misery in the other World as David did for Absolom for tho our grief for them cannot mitigate their Torments nor our Tears quench their Fire yet it cannot but be a grief to us that our Relations should live and die in their Rebellion against God and neglect of their Duties towards us but did dishonour God whom they should have glorified and overthrew the Family by their Sin and Wicked Lives which they should have built up and maintained And as for their Sin while they lived so dying impenitent for their Misery after death The death of some puts an end to those Troubles and Disquiet and Crosses which they caused in their Families while they lived that for their own sakes the Living cannot find a reason why they should mourn because they are dead But when they consider their death was the beginning of their Intolerable and Eternal Misery for their sakes they cannot but give place to sorrow â—or while these Thoughts are working my Husband is dead and his Soul is Damned it will be hard to keep sorrow from the Heart And tho such sorrow doth not profit the Damned Soul yet unaccountable sorrow is not easily cast off Nor can we always cease to sorrow when we cannot give a reason of any good that is the fruit of our sorrow But yet a reason will be here suggested it was my Husband or Wife or Son or Daughter that lived wickedly and died impenitently and the Soul of one so near is lost is for ever lost And Religion teaching us that the Souls of such are miserable Nature will be working in us to lament their Misery and this is sorrow for their sakes Rule 7. In mourning for those that lived holily towards God and Conscientiously in their Relative Duties towards us our sorrow is for our own sakes more than for theirs The common saying our Loss is their Gain teacheth that the sorrow is for the Loser and not for the Gainer And indeed if we search to the bottom of our sorrow to find the reason of our sorrow for those that lived to the Lord and died in the Lord and after death do live gloriously and happily with the Lord it will appear we are sorrowing more for our selves than for them We call it mourning for the dead when it is indeed mourning for our selves yet living for let us enquire 1. Do we mourn because their Souls are perfectly Holy and Happy with God and Christ above No this is matter of our Comfort Delight and Joy Did not we earnestly pray for them sick and well that when they left Earth they might be received up to Heaven And do we sorrow that God heard our Prayers and hath saved their Souls Do we thus take on for this Are our Tears shed because God hath Crowned their Grace with Glory Are we grieving on Earth because they are rejoicing in Heaven Are we groaning here because they are triumphing there For shame we cannot say this is the reason and ground of our sorrow and that in this respect it is plain we do not sorrow for their sakes 2. Do we mourn because they are fallen asleep in Jesus Because they are gone to rest in their Beds Because their Bodies in that state in which they are remain united to Christ Are these grounds of sorrow Should we weep and waste our Tears because these things are said of them Or is it not matter of Comfort and Joy unto us that it is so well with their very Bodies as these things declared by God himself do import unto us Is it not better to die in Christ than to live in Sin Is it not better to sleep in Jesus than to be naturally awake and spiritually asleep in Sin Is it not better for the Body to lye still and rest free from Actings of Sin than to be able to walk in a constant course of wickedness Is it not more matter of Comfort to have the Bodies of our Friends united to Christ in the Grave than to have our Relations above ground separated from Christ and not united to him If it be let us cease over-sorrowing for them with whom it is better tho in the Grave and begin to sorrow for those with whom it is worse tho they live with us Which is matter of greater sorrow a departed Saint or a living Sinner And shall we drop more Tears for one departed Saint than for twenty living wicked Relations Why so When all these wicked ones are in danger of Hell but the departed Saint is past that danger The ungodly that do live are in danger of Eternal Torments both as to Body and Soul The departed Saint is past the danger thereof both as to Body and Soul For when the Soul is once safe in Heaven the Body is for ever past all danger of Hell Is this it that we sorrow for No verily we do give thanks to God that the Body is in these Circumstances though in the Grave But you say you mourn because they are dead and taken from us Dead But are not we spâ—â—king to Believers that live concerning departâ—â—â—â—lievâ—rs And should not we beliâ—vâ— what God saith concerning them And think and
speak of them in their Graves as the Scripture spâ—aketh See what the Living God saith concerning their Bodies and say if you sorrow for their sakes because the Bodies of your departed Relations are of that number that sleep in Jesus 1 Thes 4.14 And that rest in their Graves as in a Bed made easie by Christ's Body lodging there before theirs Isa 57.2 Look upon the Circumstances of their Bodies with a believing Eye through the Glass of Scripture and change the manner of speaking common to the bad into Scripture Language peculiar to the good they say He or she is dead do you say He or she sleeps in Jesus and do you indeed try if you can sorrow for that 3. If upon Scripture grounds believed and improved we have no reason to sorrow for the sakes of our holy Relation that are dead for what do we sorrow and for whom Is it because we have not the Comfort of their Company Is it because we are deprived of that good by their falling asleep in Jesus which we enjoyed while they lived with uâ— either in reference to our own good Temporal or Spiritual And is not this sorrowing for our selves more than for them For can we say we sorrow because they have not the Enjoyment of our Company when they were such that we are groundedly satiâ—fied that they have the Enjoyment of God in the Company of innumerable Angels and Saved Souls above And tho they loved our Company while they lived do we or can we think that they are not better pleased with that Society where now they are Or that tho we sorrow for want of them that they sorrow for want of us For want of us If we want them they want not us And if we sorrow that they continued no longer with us they rejoice at what we do sorrow And shall we sorrow at that for which they do rejoice Upon a due debate with our selves in a composed frame of Mind when the hurry of passionate sorrow is over we see we might change the form of speaking of mourning for such of our dead and more rationally call it a mourning for our selves because of the loss we sustain while we live by their falling asleep in Jesus Rule 8. Our sorrow for the dead that died in final Impenitency after they had lived wickedly all their days should not be such as doth deprive us of all our spiritual Delight and Joy in God and make us unfit and uncapable for the performance of those great Duties we stand engaged unto to God and Man It is indeed an Heart-piercing consideration to sit in our Mourning Chamber and think my Husband Wife Son or Daughter is Dead and Buried and Damned too To think the Body is meat for Worms and the Soul a prey to Devils That the parts of one so near us being separated are so disposed of as that one is lodged in a dark Grave and the other cast into outer Darkness and Eternal Torments which wounds some so deeply as brings them near unto distraction and sit and aggravate their sorrow saying The death of my Relation I could bear but the Thoughts of his Damnation do press me down that I have lost him is a loss under which I could find some Comfort to support me but that his Soul is irrecoverably lost and that it is under the loss of God and Christ and all the Happiness of Heaven and is fallen into the Company of Devils and all the Miseries of Hell the more I think of it the more my Soul refuseth to be comforted the deeper is the Wound and the greater is my sorrow But yet in this sorrowful case take heed of sinning in your sorrow for by Sin you deserve to follow him both to Grave and Hell Take heed of Sin which doth expose your own Soul to be cast into the lamented condition of your Dead and Damned Relation I say the third time take heed of sinning in your sorrow for such sinful sorrow must be sorrowed for and when you have by sinful excessive turbulent sorrow contracted guilt upon your own Soul you must bitterly bewail such Sin and sorrow for your own Sin added to the sorrow for his damnation will make you a Man a Woman of such sorrow that will be indeed an heavy load and a burden that will bow you down Because it is a Case too common for godly Parents to have wicked Children and so other Relations to have such as live and die impenitent upon whose account they are filled with distracting sorrow I shall propound these following Questions to their serious Thoughts and by that time they have given a sober considerate Answer to them upon due deliberation may see cause of taking heed thaâ— they do not go beyond the due Bounds of sorrow in this case or if they have to go and sorrow for their sorrow and so restrain it that their unquestionable duties might not by reason of it be neglected CHAP. IX Eight Questions propounded to such who pierce themselves through with almost-distracting sorrow for those that lived wickedly and died impenitent Q. 1. DID you sorrow for their Sin while they lived as you do for their Damnation dying impenitently now they are dead Did you shed as many Tears for the one as you do for the other Did the one cause as deep abiding sorrow in your Heart as the other doth If it were so your sorrow for their Sin might asswage your sorrow for their Damnation because you sorrowed for the cause as well as for the effect For that whereby they did dishonour God as well as for their Misery that hath befallen them If it were not so what kind of sorrow is this that you sorrow for the hurt of a Câ—eature and did not sorrow for that dishonour which that Creature did to God What kind of sorrow do you call that wherein the Misery of a Creature lyeth nearer to your Heart than his Eclipsing and Clouding the Glory of God by his Sins and Impenitency under them ever did in the time of his Life Examine by this sorrow for the Creatures Misery and not for God's dishonour by his Sin which was in your Eyes and esteem the greatest evil sin against God or the Creatures suffering for his Sin Q. 2. Did you do your Duty while they lived to recover them from a state of Sin that they might have prevented this Damnation you are now so sorrowful that by final impenitence and unbelief they are fallen into Did you seriously admonish them of their Duty reprove them for their Sin Warn them of the Wrath to come Tell them of their danger the Extremity and Eternity of those positive Torments and the greatness of the Loss of God and all the happiness of Heaven their wilful sinning did expose them to Did you call them to Repentance and shew them the necessity of forsaking Sin and turning unto God and of Faith in Christ and sincere Holiness that they might escape the Damnation of
Hell and be partakers of Eternal Glory in Heaven And when you did not prevail with them did you go to your Knees and pray to God Lord change my Husbands Heart convert and sanctifie his Soul that when he dies he might not be Damned Lord shew my Son his Sin and Danger convince him melt and break his Heart for Sin awaken his Conscience make him feel the burden of his Sin now that he might not bear the heavy Load of thy powerful Wrath for ever Tho he should be Poor yet let him not be wicked if thou wilt not give him Riches yet give him thy Grace or if thou hast given him the one good Lord deny him not the other Afflict him in this World rather than Damn him in the next Deal as thou pleasest with him in Temporals but deny not my Prayer for him for Special Spiritual Grace and for the Eternal Salvation of his Soul If you did your Duty you may have peace on Earth tho he hath no rest in Hell And the remembrance of this may be your Comfort in your sorrow If you did not it is safer for you to sorrow that you sinned than that he is Damned while you neglect to sorrow for the neglect of your Duty in endeavouring to prevent his damnation Sorrow for his Misery will never help him out but penitent sorrow for your own Sin is one appointed means to escape that Misery you lament that he is in Q. 3. Which is most fitting in your Reason and Judgment That God should be just in the Damnation of an impenitent Sinner tho he were your Relation or that he should deal with his separated Soul in a way of Mercy contrary to his Truth because he was your Relation Is it not more sitting that God should punish him for ever for his sinalâ— unbelief and impenitent hardness of Heart tho he were your Husband or your Son than that God should violâ—â—e his own word in saving him in an unconverted state because he was your Husband or your Son Do not you know that God is no respecter of Persons Rom. 2.11 And would not this be a respect oâ— a Person to save him in his Sin when he died in his Sin meerly because he was while he liâ—ed so related unto you Think of this to quiet your Heart and make your sorrow less Passionate but more Rational and so more moderate For is not his damnation more grievous to you because he was yours than the damnation of another never related to you tho the Soul of the one is equally Immortal and Miserable as the other And why should you have harder Thoughts of God in your sorrow for punishing yours because yours than of punishing of others when yours were equally sinful in Life and equally impenitent at death as others were Q. 4. Is not God and Christ the only Saviour of Souls infinitely more merciful than you And yet if the Father of Mercies and the Saviour of Sinners do approve of the Damnation of your impenitent Husband or Wise Father or Mother Son or Daughter why should you be filled with turbulent disquieting sorrow Should you appoint to him the measures of his Mercy or the Persons he should shew it to Doth he owe it to you or them or any other Is it not free so that he may have Mercy on whom he will have Mercy and Compassion on whom he will have Compassion Rom. 9.15 May not God act as a just God but you will sorrow as if he were not a Merciful God If the most Merciful God and Compassionate Saviour approve of the Everlasting Punishment of your Impenitent Relations as an Act of Justice and therefore good and therefore amiable Why should you so excessively grieve as if your Mercy was beyond the Mercy of the Father and the Son Q. 5. Have not you more cause to Joy and Rejoice at to give Thanks and Praise to God for your well-grounded Hopes of Heaven than to discâ—mpose your self for this Wâ—rk by your vexing sorrow because others are lost without hopes of finding Mercy What if the nearest to you in Relation shall for their wilful final refusing of Remedying Grace perish for ever should not you admire and magnifie praise and celebrate the free distinguishing Grace and differencing Mercy of God to you that you shall be for ever saved And say Will God shew Eternal Mercy to me when he will pour out his Eternal Wrath upon my Father or Mother Brother or Sister Husband or Wife or Child What was I more than they that they should be Damned and I should be saved after Death Was not I equally involved in the Guilt of Adam 's Sin as they were Was not I born a Child of Wrath as well as they Was not my Heart as bad my Sin as great my Nature as corrupt as theirs was Was not I as backward to good as prone to evil as they were and it may be more too Should not I with others cry out and say Eph. 1.3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who hath blessed us and me amongst them with spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ Should not I give thanks and praise to God for blessing me with such blessings which tend to Eternal Glory which Christ hath purchased promised prepared and possessed for me tho others near to me are Cursed with an Everlasting Curse in Hellish Places justly inflicted on them for their Sin and continuing finally Impenitent under the same And can you be lifted up in such high praises of your God for his Mercy to you when you are so cast down into depths of sorrow at the Thoughts of God's punishing Justice with others Q. 6. Do not the Holy Angels and Blessed Saints above know as much of the Torments of Hell and of the Misery of the Damned as you do and yet are they filled with such sorrow because of any being there as you are Do saved Souls above sorrow there because they do not find the Souls of others there whom they knew on Earth and were Related to that died before them As they do rejoice to see others there whom they were here acquainted with and Related to And will you pretend to be more Compassionate and Merciful than Angels and Saints in a perfect state of Bliss and Glory Q. 7. Shall not you your self being a Penitent Believer approve the Righteous Sentence of Damnation upon those that were your nearest Relations in this World but died impenitently in their Sins Do not you know the Saints shall judge the World final-unbelieving Men and Apostate Angels 1 Cor. 6.2 3. And shall you sorrow then or rejoice at the Condemning Sentence of Jesus Christ upon all the ungodly tho many of your Relations should be amongst them And if you are to come as near to pleasing of God and being pleased in what he doth now as what you shall hereafter be why should you have so much vexing sorrow at that now for which you shall