the very Apostles disputed concerning precedence It is certain that this Spirit of pre-eminence is born with us and one may say that it is perhaps the first of our inclinations How much then ought Men to esteem Marriage since it satisfies it in so agreeable a manner In effect all cannot be Kings in a Monarchy Dukes in an Aristocracy States and Lords in a Democracy Heaven bestows this honour but on a few Yet these for the most part marry and are in a right to hope for Children Thus Sir of all humane dominions the paternal is undoubtedly most ancient and legitimate 'T is even that which has served as a foundation to all others Methinks there is not enough observance of this Soveraign authority of Fathers over their Children There is not perhaps any thing in nature so pleasant or so admirable What delight to see this people of free-will subjected to your wills Always disposed to obey you always zealous for your service always interessed for whatsoever has relation to you Do you speak they reply to you Do you not speak they remain in silence Do you blame they are submissive Do you command they are full of joy Do you give directions they obey Do you prohibit they abstain Do you make appear to them an angry countenance they tremble and are frightned Do you discover one of good humour and love you fill them with contentment In a word you do even what you please amongst them You are the Master of their good and evil destiny Without ever demanding of you the reasons of your conduct in their respect they suppose it always full of wisdom and they take a pride in a blind submission to it As they are satisfied you can never do any thing to their prejudice and that all your aim is but to procure their good so they never undertaking any thing against you but on the other side they effect all they can to give you a testimony of their respect their zeal and acknowledgment In fine there never was an authority more agreeable or more absolute than this It is to a Father that this Verse of Juvenal perfectly agrees in relation to his Children Hoc volo sic jubeo Sit pro ratione voluntas Juv. Sat. 6. This I will this I command my Will is my Reason There is nothing that comes nearer to the Divinity than this And it is principally in this regard that it is the lively image of it Nobis parentes sunt Deorum imagines Our Parents are as the Images of the Gods You will alledge perhaps that the great number of Subjects which makes the felicity of other Governments is the misfortune of this because it must needs be that all Children are not of the character I represent them How many doth one see that one would swear they were born only to be a perpetual torment to their Parents If one believes Euripides Amongst a great multitude scarce will appear a better man than his Father And according to Sophocles There are few better but many worse I deny not the consequence It is but too true Every place is full of ill-born Children and unhappy Fathers But Sir in spight of this ancient Proverb Heroum filij noxae and whatever the Poets affirm it must notwithstanding be granted that it is chiefly among the scum of the people that appear these unnatural Children who infringe all the rights of Nature and Grace of Heaven and Earth like other Chams and other Absaloms employ their sacraligious hands either to dishonour or persecute their Fathers This is rarely seen amongst the generous sort and in Famalies well orderd I add that there are very few Fathers who may not if they will enjoy with pleasure that supream Authority which God has given them over their Children 'T is a thing which depends only upon education and the manner of bringing them up There are three things which extreamly favour this paternal government and may much contribute to render it agreeable and propitious The first is That Fathers do themselves form their own Subjects not only by the birth they take from them but also by the education which they give them They are in some sort Masters of their minds Nature puts them into their hands like razed Tables wherein is nothing as yet written They may imprint on them such Maxims as they think fit They find there no resistance They receive the propensity they would give them without any opposition Vt quisque suum vult esse Terent. in Adelph ect 3. Sc. 3. ita est Insomuch that it depends only on them to teach them the art of obeying and respecting They alone have the power to make them wise It is their own fault if they don't enjoy that Empire whereof Seneca affirms That the chiefest strength consists in the love of Subjects Sen l. 1. decl c. 19. Vnum est Regi inexpugnabile munimentum amor civium In fine it depends on them alone to inspire them with the fairest sentiments of vertue Quo semel est imbuta recens Hor. Epil lib. 1. Ep 2. servabit odorem Testa diu That seent a Vessel first takes will affect it a great while For that end you want no store of Rhetorick There needs but your own proper example All Children in general are pleased to imitate their Fathers and to do all they see them practise They copy them eternally in their way of action in their manners and oftentimes in their very gestures Amat unusquisque sequi vitum parentum says St. Ambrose Operator silius quae viderit patrem facientem says likewise St. Austin Thus nothing is more important for Children than example But nothing also is more commodious for Fathers who are capable of affording good ones They may by this means save an infinite number of words and discourses If we believe St Bernard Example is the best of Sermons Sermovivus efficax exomplum operis est And after Seneca there is no shorter road to virtue Longum iter est per praecepta Sen. Ep. 6. breve efficax per exempla Lorg is the way by Precepts short and efficacious by Examples The second advantage of this government whereof I speak is founded upon the hope which all Subjects entertain of holding one day or other the same place their Fathers do and of becoming in their turn the Kings of their Children Therefore if they have never so small a stock of reason they will take care to practice towards their Fathers those duties which they would be displeased to see unpractised towards them when they should possess the throne of Paternity if one may be allowed to speak so If we love to imitate our Fathers we do not less love to be traced of our Children It is undoubtedly for their interests to acquit themselves religiously towards us of that obedience submission and profound respect which even nature dictates to them and not to establish Maxims repugnant thereto because they will
establish them against themselves For the most part one is longer Father than Child and so were not these Duties as they are the justest in the world by a principle of Self-love there is not a Child but ought to hold them sacred Would you know what I call the third advantage of this authority of the Father over his Children It is that he exercises it continually under their eyes It is that he alone proposes to himself their good It is that he labours only for their advancement This is his general design This is his principal end This is his single prospect Must not Children become very ungrateful not to honour and respect with all their power those Fathers who undergo such pains of body and mind and who sweat in their sight even bloud and water in order to render their condition happy and to leave them a good fortune All have not success 't is true Non licet omnibus adire Corinthum But be it as it will all have the intention All tend that way All propose it to themselves Are you not of opinion Sir that there would be even more blindness than ingratitude in Children that refuse to submit themselves to this reasonable dominion since it has been established by nature and so strongly recommended by God himself in his Divine Scriptures purely for their Salvation and that it intirely aims at their proper good Behold three Characters that are peculiar to paternal goverment and which distinguish it extreamly from all others Who can dispute after this the sweetness of it In effect nothing is more But it is not enough considered I maintain that it is one of those things which may most aleviate the cares and troubles of a Father What pleasure is it once again to have Children who like so many faithfull Subjects are about you for your guard to serve you to love you to respect you What satisfaction to be able at all times and in all things to rely upon their heart their faith and their zeal What contentment never to impose but such commands as they readily perform to say to one go and he goes to bid another do this and he does it What secret joy to observe all these other-selves these verdant plants these rising Stars which God has brought forth in your own bosom to envy one another in the concern of your welfare In a word what extream bliss to have always at one's table and about one such a troop of real friends uncorrupted Servants and submissive Subjects If one regarded things as they are where are the bitters that all this is not capable of sweetning where are the misfortunes that the prospect of this good would not obliterate And yet 't is Marriage that produces all this satisfaction for man 'T is that which procures him all these advantages It is by that Channel that God distributes to him all these favours By consequence what can one apprehend of more use to him What can be more excellent One affirms of truth that it is what all the world believes I assert just the same of an excellent thing it is what all the world makes practice of According to this principle one may say in a certain sense that nothing can be more excellent than Marriage It is of universal practice As I have already insinuated a perpetual Celibacy was never esteemed in the world At all times it has been regarded as a thing disgraceful to mankind and as the Pest of Republicks The Romans deprived Batchelours of Testamentary Legacies The Corinthians of Burial The Argives of all sorts of Presents And the Athenians even carried their severity so far as to whip them before their Alters upon their solemn Feast-days But Sir if Marriage is of all times and of all places one may say that it is likewise of all persons Birth Death and Marriage are the three bounds where all men meet All are born all dye and almost all are married Little and Great Rich and Poor Kings and Shepherds Learned and Ignorant Civilized and Barbarians Philosophers and Orators Young and Old All kinds of Men. Of all kind of professions Of all Ages Of all Statures Of all Complexions All Marry All enter into this great Society All get themselves admitted into the Brotherhood There is no condition in the world where one has so many companions Methinks this ought to render it yet very considerable But as nothing makes a virtue appear more splendid than to compare it with its opposite vice to shew more fully the excellency of Marriage is to compare it with the infamy of incontinence its contrary which is the subject of the Second Part of this Work OF THE INFAMY OF Incontinence PART II. IF I was only to treat with Saints upon this Subject I should not have occasion to use many words in order to persuade them that nothing is more infamous than Incontinence To convince them hereof it would be sufficient to tell them that nothing is more repugnant to that purity which they profess But Sir it is with Sinners and great ones too that I must have to do Even with such who for the most part are grown old in criminal habits and who make a sport of that filthy debauchery for which Heaven declares so much abhorrence You apprehend that if they are insensible of the charms of Marriage they are no less of the horrors of Lust and that it is equally difficult to convince them of the excellency of the one and the infamy of the other They are a sort of people willful in their blindness They resolve to see nothing in the first but what is irksome in order to make it an object of Contempt They refuse to see any thing in the second but what 's agreeable in order to make that a continual object of Concupisence This disorder is even so common so general and so well fixed in Society that to undertake to withdraw men from it and to exhort them to return from an errour which it is much more easie to Blame than avoid is in some sort to make himself ridiculous Blandum malum est Luxuria quam accusare facilius est aliquanto quam vitare Max. lib. 9. as an ancient Author so admirably says That is Luxury is a soothing evil which we may with more ease censure than avoid 'T is certain that there is within an apparent sweetness One may affirm of Lust that it is the bosom of the voluptuousness of the sences where sinners take their sleep with pleasure But O cruel fatal and pernicious bosom one sleeps there only to be destroyed If on one side you taste the sweets of Nectar on the other you suck the bitter of Poyson Alas who knows not that Samson found his death in that of Dalilah David almost his in that of his Bersheba and Mark Anthony the loss of an Empire in the bosom of his Cleopatra O! fallax bonum Sen. Aedip Act. 1. Quantum malum fronte quam tanda
exquisitely fair unmeasurably rich extreamly virtuous she is not fit for you Of what service is all that to you if you are the object of her aversion This evil Sir is almost without remedy What cares soever you may take to win the heart of a wife who is only yours by the force of paternal Authority you will find it extreamly difficult to go through with it Never have any thoughts for marriage Sir unless you resolve to practise all these precepts I could add still many others But these are the chief and they suffice to make a good marriage The mischief is that people do not stop here and that almost all those who marry act herein by motives disengaged from the subject they look after The person which they take is a thing of the least regard with them They are determined by particular considerations This enters into their design but by accident and after the rest If she has a Fortune If she can draw me out of necessity If she belongs to persons who by their Credit are able to advance me it is enough says one I demand no other advantage If besides all this she is handsom well shaped and vertuous so much the better It is a double happiness for me But in case this doth not appear the rest remaining I shall not fail to marry her What destruction of Maxims and good Sense Now certainly to choose a wife with whom one may propose to live happily a man is only to consider if she pleases him If she be deserving and if she be derived from honest parents Whether she be rich or poor it imports not Dummodo morata veniat Dotata est satis This without dispute is the directest way of reasoning After having given you precepts for the attaining to a happy Marriage it is at present necessary to afford you some in order to live happily therein They all consist in the practice of two sorts of Duties towards two sorts of Persons The one regard the wife and the others refer to the Children The good or evil of marriage proceed alone from these two parts There was reason to say Est uxor aut tutum refugium aut penale tormentum She is also as another Author has it either the ruine or safety of the Family Mulier domi damnum est aut Salus On another side the wise man informs us that Children are the Joy or sorrow of their parents according as they are well or ill inclined This renders the matter which remains to be treated of in order to fullfil the design of this work very important It is Sir so much the more in that by acquitting your self of the duties whereof I shall discourse you will make your wife be a blessed Fountain to you at all times to speak with Solomon All the world is not happy enough to meet with this advantage The Precautions which one takes for this end are I confess sometimes unprofitable But it is almost infallible that a wife who by nature is not very reasonable shall become so if the Husband rules himself with relation to her according to my Instructions I begin them by declaring to you that if you would be happy in Marriage you must necessarily be loved of your wife You cannot be beloved of her if you do not love her Therefore be sure to love her This is the first Lesson a Husband ought to learn It comes from St. Paul Husbands says he Eph. 5.25.28 love your Wives as Christ loved his Church c. Would you know rhe reason Husbands ought to love their Wives as their own Bodies He that loves his wife loves himself No body ever hated his own Flesh By consequence the Husband ought to love his Wife for his wife is his own flesh They are no more two but one flesh What is more reasonable than this duty what ought to be more precious to us than our selves We ought then in the first place to love our wives by a motive of self-love since we cannot love our selves but we must love them being that I may so speak a part of our own substance Animae dimidium meae Horat. What a prodigious thing would it be to see a man declare himself an enemy to himself and to have an aversion for his own person St. Paul assures us that it was never seen and insinuates to us that it is a thing not to be seen in the order of Nature It is notwithstanding what arrives to all those who love not their wives A man ought in the second place to love his wife by a Motive either of personal Interest or pure acknowldgment Either she loves you or she doth not love you If she loves you you cannot without ingratitude forbear to love her On the other side if she loves you not you ought to love her to the end that she may be won to love you This Maxim of Seneca is of abfolute necessity in Marriage Si vis amari ama Love is gain'd only by Love It is not to be obtain'd by Force or Violence Amor extorqueri non potest says Seneca Naturally we love those who love us If we did otherwise we should be less reasonable than Brutes Amore dicimus vinci feras We say that the very Brute Beasts are overcome by Love Sen. Trag. A Philosopher of old time made these Questions and Answers What is most insupportable in life To love without being beloved What is the most unjust thing in the world To be beloved without loving What is most mortifying to a man To see himself compelled to hate what he has loved In a word what is most dreadful to him A love converted into hatred which becomes so much the more implacable as the other was passionate Semper bonus amicus gravis irascitur Our best Friends are always the most angry with us All this Sir is true and these are Axioms which make so many certain principles in the Morality of Men. A Husband that doth not love or who loves without being beloved is equally unhappy The true secret to support patiently the inconveniences of Marriage and to live happy therein is to love Miserable is he who marries without determining to love his wife and proposes only to embrace her Riches Meipsum igitur amare oportet non mea si veri amici futuri simus There is not a wife but has a right of using such language to her Husband nor a Husband but ought to observe the same to his wife After this Rule I cannot give you a better than to afford your self for an Example to your wife Of all the Maxims of the Christian Morality the most equitable and most certain is undoubtedly this to do to others what we would have done to our selves Would you be beloved of your wife Love her Would you have her wife Be so your self Would you have her complaisant to you Be you the same to her Would you have her make appear a sweetness of
of it Is it not a thing which regards them in common would it be reasonable for them to be always ignorant of their own affairs and can they bear with such unjust Husbands whose single aim is to hold them perpetually in ignorance to deceive them and to conceal all things from them it is not to be admired at if they find themselves mistaken and if their wives practise on their side such methods as displease them Let a wife be never so patient and easy it is impossible to bear for ever with a Husband who uses her like a Turk or Moor and not as his wife but as his Servant Wherefore I said that it was for his advantage to treat her otherwise and to discover to her the whole bottom of his heart and his afairs In effect besides that this will please her and that she will find her self obliged to a Husband that has so much complaisance for her she will learn by this means to regulate her expences and to manage her self after a manner proportion'd to the condition of the family What is more important and deserves more application than the practice of this Precept But this is enough concerning the methods Husbands ought to practise towards their wives in order to live happy in their Society Now let us see in a few words to the end we may conclude this work to what this design engages them with relation to their Children This Sir is one of the Springs from whence as I have said proceeds to married persons all their happiness or all their Misfortune In effect when a man has Children that seem to be well born and in whom appear the marks of a true wisdom as miserable as he is and how great soever rheir number is he finds therein the motives of a very sweet consolation On the other side what is more afflicting than to have such as are vicious and of unwise conduct Solomon assures us of both Filius sapiens says he laetisicat Patrem Filius stultus dolor est Patris A wise Son rejoices the Father the foolish Son is the grief of the Father From thence you may judge of what importance education is and how necessary it is to give Children a good one Educatio disciplina mores facit says Seneca Plutarch regards it as a new birth which we take in the bosom of our Masters And Aristotle puts those Masters who have taught us the art of living well in the rank of those to whom we can never acquit our selves of the obligation Magistris Diis Parentibus non potest reddi aequivalens They are all equally reasonable For if it be true that Praemium virtutis est bona institutio it necessarily follows both that Education is what 's very considerable for men and that we are no less obliged to our fathers for having given us a good one than for our life it self and that we can never shew acknowledgment enough 'T is a great deal I confess to have received a being but I dare affirm that it is infinitely more to have received a good one Birth gives us one common with beasts But 't is education that presents us with the other and which renders us in some kind like to the Angels But Sir if a good Education be very important with relation to the Children it is no less in regard of the Fathers If it be to the one a principle of wisdom it is one of good fortune to the others As I have said a Father cannot be happy if his Children be unwise The one is a necessary step to the other From whence appears the indispensible obligation of a Father to sacrifice with pleasure his cares and his substance for the instruction of his Children and the forming of them to good manners When he has the advantage of succeeding herein he tasts in Marriage that felicity which I have spoken of in my first part that is to say what is most agreeable and delightful in the World All Fathers 't is true are not in a condition to advance their Children to Sciences nor capable of teaching them themselves I confess this is a misfortune for both I know very well that Sciences are not absolutely necessary to bring men to the habits of wisdom They may be obtained I grant without them Notwithstanding it must be agreed on that they may be of great use towards it and that Philosopher doubtless had reason to place in the number of those principal Subjects he had to thank God for that he was a Philosopher In effect there is much less corruption amongst the Learned than amongst others Their vice is less in the heart than in the understanding and it consists more in opinion than in action As imperfect as knowing men are they always make appear in their conduct some degrees of honesty which distinguish them to advantage If knowledge has corrupted men it has been by accident after the same manner that the Sun infects common Sinks and Carcasses It has been often abused I confess but in the bottom nothing is beter of it self Would to God said Moses that all these People were Prophets There is not a Father but ought to make the same wish for his Children to desire they might become Learned and to use his last endeavours to obtain them this advantage as the greatest of all goods Observe Sir that to succeed well in the Education of Children one must go in the midst of two opposite extremities and preserve a just temper between severity and indulgence Love and Fear ought to divide the whole christian Education on the childrens side as correction and instruction on the fathers If you give them too large a freedom they will despise you If you allow them none they will hate you If you have too much indulgence for them they will become licentious If you are too austere they will be too reserv'd In a word if you make appear too much sweetness in your conduct theirs will be extreamly loose On the other side if you never look upon them but with an angry eye you make them violent extravagant and insensible of all your Exhortations You see then how necessary it is to joyn these two things together in paternal discipline A Father ought in some measure to imitate God herein of whom the Prophet says That in the midst of his chastisements he always thinks of Mercy The Father 't is true is the sovereign Magistrate of his Family and as such he ought to try his children and punish them when he finds them guilty But if he condemns them as a Judge he ought to chastise them as a Father that is to say with humanity and emotions of Love Pro peccato magno paulum supplicij satis est patri Terent. in And. Sect. 5. Sc. 3. A small punishment atones for a great fault with a father This manner of acting is in effect a very good way to make us be loved and feared of our children For as Quintilian says perfectly well Quin. Declam 4. Plures moribus quam viribus vincimus We reduce them much better to their duty by a soft and familiar conduct than we can ever be able to do by force and violence And altho' one should always preserve a certain grave Character with them which may obtain respect yet it is much better to retain them in their duty by love than by fear By a modest Liberty than too severe a constraint Pudore Liberalitate liberos Retinere satiusâ—esse credo quà m metu I 'm of the opinion that 't is the safer way to keep our children within their duty by modesty and Liberality than fear Jer. in Adelph Thus Sir I have finished my design Which was to shew you the Excellency Necessity and Happiness of Marriage Nothing more remains for me but to make wishes for the prosperity of yours when it shall please God to establish you therein Dij faciant possis gaudere fideli conjuge Ovid. Gods grant you the Joy of a faithful Wife I wish you this advantage with all my heart Without it of what service would all the rest be I hope it will not be wanting to you and that God at length will hearken to my prayers upon this subject FINIS
Behaviour and Fidelity in her Conduct Make appear the same in yours Nothing is more just than this duty and Husbands are insupportable to complain of the ill Humours and untoward conduct of their Wives if their own is no bettter One may say that they are in some measure guilty of their Irregularities because they would have persisted in wisdom if their Husbands had not removed themselves from it It is certain as Plutarch observes that the wife usually conforms her self to the manners of her Husband And Aristotle informs us that she will be always chast and constant to him if she finds him so to her Si mulier cognoverit â—ibi castum fidum virum ipsa etiam casta fida erit You will say perhaps that this duty is of very difficult Practice and that it were better not to marry at all than to constrain ones self to this degree I grant the difficulty But what would it not be scandalous to omit a thing which is good in it self and very necessary for Salvation because it imposes an indispensible obligation to be a good man and to live according to the Maxims of Vertue O God! What Christians are we Is it not a thing which ought on the other side to determine men for Marriage What method is more infallible to withdraw men from Debaucheries or to prevent them than Marriage Doth not the example which is owing to a wife and Children render a Man more circumspect in his Conduct Marriage is Bridle that keeps men within the bounds of sanctity and Motive to eschew Vices Is there a single man who doth not desire to be wise and to be able to deserve the Praises of a good man and is not this the true way that directs to it But Sir amongst the Vertues whose Example you owe to a wife you must above all things study to inspire her with that of devotion One cannot imagine what Good a devout Wife is capable of doing a Husband and the advantages he may receive from thence Whether he be sick or well rich or poor In prosperity or in misery in joy or sorrow He will always find in her an assistance proportioned to his necessities St. Paul somewhere says that Piety is good for every thing I say as much of a devout Wife Nothing is more Angelical nothing more excellent Happy and thrice happy may one call that man to whom Heaven has afforded such a present The exterior Cause of Devotion is the frequent Reading Divine Books and the works of Piety of Ecclesiastical Authors To this Sir you ought to turn the genius of your Wife as much as in you lies If once she takes a pleasure herein 't is almost infallible that she will have a regard to her Salvation a contempt for the World and a horrour for Sin which are the essential Characters of true devotion But if this kind of reading be infinitely necessary to dispose a Wife to wisdom that of Romances and Comedies is not less effectual to turn her inclination from it Whatsoever may be said in favour of these eloquent fictions I can assure you that nothing is fitter to corrupt the heart and to inflame it with the love of Creatures If Fathers and Mothers were sensible of the pernicious impressions which these sorts of books are capable of giving their Daughters they would undoubtedly employ all their cares to conceal the very Names from them Take off your Wife therefore from the humour of reading such books It is a School wherein she will never fail to learn what will render you unhappy they will make her wanton vain ridiculous insupportable When she comes to compare you with those imaginary Heroes dressed in Romances after the manner of the Gods she will be apt to esteem you no longer you will almost necessarily become the Object of her contempt On the other side be careful to put into her hands the Prophets and Apostles Let this be her ordinary Employment Let her make thereof the whole matter of her diversion O Holy and Divine School where one learns to become like God himself and to practise the Duties of an Angelical perfection Prayer is both the principal act of Devotion and the most assured means to obtain Grace Practise it Sir and make your Wife practise the same with exactness Accustom your self to pray often to God with her in the midst of your Family Humble your selves often together before that Eternal Majesty from whom you expect all your good things and all your Comforts Let him hear several times in a day the voice of your heart with that of your mouth Represent to him all your wants and make appear in your Prayers a holy ardour that may inflame the zeal of your Wife Were she the most unreasonable of Women she would become the Sweetest and most compliant if you would confine your self as you ought to the practice of this Duty It is extreamly neglected now a-days in the most part of Christian Families to their shame be it spoken and we have but too much reason to say with the Poet Heu pietas Virg. Aen. 6 Heu prisca fides Above all Sir a man ought to live in a good understanding with his wife and to agree well together in relation to Domestick affairs In the little state of a Family as well as in the great State of the Republick concord is absolutely necessary for its subsistence By that says Salust the least things become great and without it the greatest are of no account Concordiâres parvae crescunt Discordiâ maximae dilabuntur When a Husband and Wife misunderstand one another Sal. in Jug and each follows his own caprice or design all is lost the family falls of course This is called in our Proverbial Language to Light a Candle at both Ends. If you don't instruct your Wife in your affairs and manage all things without her participation she will easily be perswaded of one of these two things Either she will believe that you are Rich when perhaps you are poor Or she will imagin that you are poor when it may be you are Rich. This double error will make her fall into a double excess Either she will become Prodigal and be at a hundred sorts of vain and unprofitable expences Or she will become covetous and spare even what 's necessary Both will be equally inconvenient for you To avoid which impose upon your self this Law of accounting to her your administration Let her know from time to time the terms you are in with Fortune Undertake nothing of moment without her advice It is both just and advantageous for you to do so For what end have the Laws and customs established community of goods between Husbands and Wives but to inform us that as both ought to contribute their utmost cares to make it good so it is just that the Husbands who are masters thereof should inform their Wives of the good or evil the loss or the advantage