mind Though I have lost my husband yet still I have my God Hee is and will be mine so long as I remaine and continue his What though I misse my head my deceased Lord my dead husband in every place What though hee sitteth not with mee at the table and therfore I sigh What though I find a misse of him in my sole and single life and therfore I grieve What though I want him to instruct mee in the wayes of goodnesse and to provide for the affaires allso concerning this life and therfore mourne I may be pensive in the remembrance of him whom I loved and I may lament the losse of my instructer and my comforter but if I grieve too much I shall but discover that there was folly in my love and that there is dispaire in my teares Hee was not mine but God's and with him hee liveth It must be my comfort that hee lived so well while hee was upon earth that I may hope assuredly that hee 's a saint in heaven and it must be my confidence that hee is onely gone a litle before to that place of happinesse whither I shall follow him Hee who lent mee him can furnish mee with another or else give mee content with this single life Hee was not my choyce but God's If I ponder upon my losse with sorrow and griefe I must yet thinke upon his advantage with joy and content I will therfore reverence his memorie without too many sobbs and I will be thankfull to my God because hee once did lend mee so good a directour I will by his blessing live a widow with content and quietnesse untill hee shall be pleased either to call mee againe to the state of wedlock or else free mee from this sinfull and troublsome world If I marrie noe more the greater command shall I reteine of my selfe I am now at libertie to employ my time in religious dueties whereas if I were wedded to an un-godly man even my religion it selfe without the mercy of my God might receave some prejudice But if the Lord shall be pleased to bring mee againe into obedience to another I will besiech him so to direct mee in my choyce that I may marry in the Lord. I will not rashly attempt so weighty a matter but with my prayers and teares I will begge of the Lord to guide and direct mee Thus that I may live in the love of my God and that hee may allways overshadow mee with his blessings Ier. 31.32 and be a husband unto mee as hee promised to be unto Iudah and Israël I will humble my selfe at his foote-stoole and pray unto him and say The Prayer BLessed God thou who once didst promise to the barren church of the Gentiles that thou wouldest be unto her both a Redeemer and a husband Is 54.5 be pleased to looke upon the low estate of a pensive widow Thou knowest how irksome and full of forrowes this solitarie life is thou viewest my sad and dis-consolate condition O be thou unto mee both a husband and a comforter that in the multitude of my sorrowes which I have in my heart thy comforts ô Lord Ps 94.19 may refresh my soule It is thy promise that Prov. 15.25 though thou wilt destroy the house of the proude yet thou wilt establish the border of the widow Though the wicked doe noe good to the widow Iob. 24.21 yea though they stay the widow and murder the fatherlesse Ps 94.6 Ps 68.5 yet thou thy selfe hast promised that thou wilt be a father to the fatherlesse and defend the cause of the widow even thou ô God who dwellest in thine holy habitations Iob. 22.9 O send not then a poore and distressed widow away emptie but be pleased to be my Gâ—… my guide and my counsellour Make mee 〈◊〉 honour thee in all my wayes to rely upon thee iâ— all my sorrowes to sue unto thee in all mâ— wants Eph. 4.24 Ps 89.22 and firmely to be wedded unto thee 〈◊〉 righteousnesse and true holinesse Let not thâ— oppressour exact upon mee nor the Sonne 〈◊〉 wickednesse doe mee harme but doe thoâ— allways preserve mee under the shadow of thy wings Be thou my directour in all my wayes that whether I shall continue in this stated of widow-hood or be ordered by thee to change my condition and be joyned againe in holy wedlock I may sue for thy counsell and be seconded with thy blessing But so long as I shall leade this single life let mee remaine contented Lu. 2.37 and make mee like Anna the Prophetesse not departing from thy temple but serving thee my God with fasting and prayer night and day Be thou unto mee in a more excellent manner then was Iob unto the widowes causing my heart to sing for joy Iob. 29.13 that so though mine afflictions are many and my desolate condition be full of perturbations and anxious thoughts yet I may so cleave unto thee that I may have comfort in thee whilest I live upon earth and be hereafter admitted into the societie of thy saints and Angells there to reigne with thee world without end through Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 22 THE TWENTIE-SECOND SUBjECT Teares of an Orphane at the death of her father The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray AMong other abominations which Ierusalem was guiltie of it was not the least that In her had they set light by father and mother Eze. 22 7. But could there live such people as neglect their parents Could nature become so silent in children that they should forget the honour due to progeâ—itours Surely if even affection inhabited the breast of a Christian it needes must dwell in the heart of a child and point to the fathers that did beget him Alas I feele a desire of expressing such an affection which I would be as readie to manifest in reall expression but ay mee the object of 〈◊〉 love and my duety is snatched from mee Oâ— hee that begat mee is dead hee that tooke caâ— to breede mee hee that supplyed my wants bâ— that instructed mee in religion hee that defenâ—… mee from injuries hee whose labour indstrie was chiefely imployed for the good of mee his boloved child Prov. 4 3. I was oh I may say I was my father's child tender and onely beloved of my mother But now where ô where is that man of affection Where is that father who so earnestly loved mee who so deerely affectâ— mee Sick hee was dead hee is But was my duety to him correspondent any way to his care of mee Did I endeavour to requite his love by my service Gen 48 1. obedience Did I visit him in his sicknesse as Ioseph did his dying father When one could him saying Behold thy father iâ— sick hee
must be subject in every thing Tit. 2.4 Eph. 5.24 1 Cor 7.34 Eph. 5.33 1 Pet. 3.6 1 Cor. 14.35 c. 7.10 Tit. 2.5 Col. 3.18 1 Pet. 3.1 I must care how to please him I must reverence him I must obey him as Sara obeyed Abraham calling him Lord I must be instructed by him I must not depart from him but must be discreete chast a keeper at home good obedient unto him that the word of God be not blasphemed To hin indeede I must submitt my selfe as unto the Lord but this submission must not be servile for it must be onely so as it is fitt in the Lord. Him I must love for hee is my selfe To him I must be subject as the inferiour parts are unto the head I must care how to please him both for the performance of my duety and for the quietnesse and content which will ensue upon it I must reverence him for hee is my superiour I must obey him for hee is my Lord I must be instructed by him for hee is my teacher I must not depart from him 1 Cor. 7.4 because the power which formerly I had over my selfe is resigned up to his will and pleasure I must be discreete because I am a wife chast because I must be a loyall wife a keeper at home because a house-wife good and obedient that the word of God be not blasphemed Submission is required joyned with love to avoyd anger and contention Prov. 21.19 for Solomon hath decreed that It it better to dwell in the wildernesse then with a contentious and an angrie woman Subjection and reverenceare arguments of a meeke 1 Pet 3.4 Prov. 9.13 and quiet spirit which in the sight of God is of great price for a clamorous woman is styled foolish Obedience is due to those that are our instructers seeing therfore our sexe is guiltie of ignorance 1 Tim. 2.11 wee are commanded to learne in silence with all subjection for if wee are wise in our owne conceits Prov. 26.12 the wise man saith there is more hope of a foole then of such Discretion is allso required in our sexe for long agoe did Solomon say c. 11.22 As a jewell of gold in a swine's snowt so is a faire woman which is without discretion Certainly those who submitt to their husbands who love them are subject to them carefull to please them reverence them obey them are willing to be instructed by them depart not from them and are truely discreete conscience will preserve them chast civilitie will keepe them at home and religion will make them good Ps 119.5 O that our wayes were made so direct that wee might keepe these statutes When I consider of this bond which unite's mee to my husband how can I choose but blesse my God for his ordinance When I looke upon the pledges of our mutuall love those children which God doeth send for our comfort how can I choose but magnifie his blessing Though many are the infirmities of a woman many dueties belong to a wife many cares and pangs belong to a mother yet our infirmities are aften redressed by mariage our dueties are our delight being guided and comforted by our carefull Lords and our cares and pangs are richly rewarded in our obedient children O how gracious is our God unto us who governeth us by those who are made our selves and to increase our love and obedience to our husbands giveth us the lively resemblance of both in our tender off-spring These children whom I would have obedient unto mee doe put mee in mind of that obedience which I owe to my husband and much more of that which all of us owe to our bountifull God That sacred tye of holy wedlock putteth mee in mind of the infinite love of Christ to his church Hee hath blessed mee with the first and shall I not labour to be a worthy and a thankfull partaker of his love in the last The first I enjoy though I deserve it not the last I am offered yet zealously and religiously enough I embrace it not If I neglect my love and duety to my husband I cannot expect the love of Christ Alasse by sexe I am fraile and not willing to obey by paines I am froward and not fitt for advice by sinne I am haughtie and not apt for submission Nature enclineth us to love but unlesse that love be regulated by religion it often either is sullied with impuritie or clegenerateth into hatred O what shall I provide to answer my God when hee shall stricktly examine mee concerning my duety first to himselfe next to him whom hee hath made my Lord and lastly to them who are my tender and parcelled selfe Certainly obedient enough I cannot be to God dutifull enough I can scarcely be to my husband loving and carefull enough I can hardly be of my children All of us faile in some thing or other and I feare that I am the weakest of all Every sinne displeaseth my God o what shall I doe to appease his wrath Wherewithall shall I come before the Lord Mic. 6.6 and bow myselfe before the high God Shall I come before him with Burnt offerings with calves of a yeere old vers 7. Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rammes or with ten thousand rivers of oyle Shall I give my first-borne for my transgressions Ps 51.16 vers 17 the fruite of my body for the sinne of my soule Alasse hee desireth not sacrifice hee delighteth not in burnt offering The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit a broken and a contrite heart hee will not despise To my Lord therfore will I hasten whom I have offended to my God will I addresse my selfe whom I have displeased by my manifold neglects and insteede of rivers of oyle I will swimme unto him in rivers of my teares My heart I will teach to groane so lowde that it shall be heard to heaven Each teare which I shed shall proceede from a heart so humbly sorrowfull that they shall seeme to have the faces of Angells in reflexion and I will pray that those teares may be accepted by the Angel of the covenant Mal 3.1 If through my indiscretion contentions have arisen betweene my head and the members I will meekely justifie the words of the King Solomon and not onely resemble but have even the same to which hee compareth mee Pro 27.15 I will have a continuall dropping in a very rainie day Mine eyes shall droppe and my heart shall droppe and from them both shall issue as it were water and blood that with my teares I may wash the sacrifice of my God and my heart may be made an accepted offering Mat 7.25 Yet shall not the raine descend onely and the floods come but the winds allso shall blow From mine eyes shall the raine descend and the floods of my teares shall come and then from my heart the winds shall blow From my heart I will
to beare or her patience to endure O what shall I doe What shall I doe I cry Ps 38.8 I reare for the very disquietnesse of my heart But hath not God promised to beare my cry and to helpe mee Hath hee not commanded mee to call upon him in the day of trouble Ps 50.15 and then promised that hee will deliver mee and I shall glorifie him Now ô now is the time for the fullfilling of his promise This this is the day of my trouble Ps 143.7 My spirit is waxed faint my friends are disturbed all eyes here pitty mee and weepe for my sufferances and grieve that they cannot ease mee But what shall I doe Shall I despaire of his mercy who hath promised mee deliverance O noe I may not I dare not I dare not I will not ps 71.5 vers 6. The Lord God shall be my hope hee who hath beene my trust from my youth By him have I beene holden up from the wombe hee it is who tooke mee out of my mother's bowells and may deliver mee of mine infant my praise shall therfore be ever of him I cannot choose but thinke that Tamar had pangs as greate as mine can be when shee laboured of the twins Gen 38 27. I cannot choose but imagine that Rebekah suffered as much as I doe c 25.22 when Esau and Iacob struggled in her wombe If these were freed from their paines delivered of their children Why should I complaine so much of my torments and forget what greater I have justly merited Should I live a thousand yeeres in one continued and most bitter throw yet would it not be comparable to a minuit of sufferance in the infernall flames and yet eternitie of those have I wickedly merited allthough I feele them not Seeing then that my God is so good as not onely to send mee here lesse torment then I deserve but allso to assure mee of an escape from those infernall horrours why should I repine at these lesser sufferances Sometimes I find a comfortable intermission my pangs are not constant and continued I have times to breath and provide for the next Surely hee who sometimes refresheth mee with respite and cessation doeth intend that in my paine I should rely upon his mercy Is 66.5 vers 9. Let him therfore be glorified and hee shall appeare to my joy Shall hee bring to the birth and not cause to bring forth Shall I cause to bring forth and shut the wombe saith the Lord God There is comfort in his promises there is ease in his mercy I must wayte the time of his pleasure and then shall I have the content which hee hath promised his chosen My pangs may endure for a while but they shall not continue long 1. Tim. 2.14 This chastisement is sent to put mee in mind that Adani was not deceaved but the woman being deceaved was in transgression Yet to my comfort let mee likewise remember that the Apostle addeth Notwithstanding shee shall be saved in child bearing vers 15 if they continue in faith and charity and holinesse with sobriety By child-bearing is meant the plunges which I am in as well as the cares of education the rest of the dueties to which wee are obliged Doe thou ô my Iesus strengthen my faith in the assurance of thy merits renew my love and my charity both to my maker and my neighbour sanctifie mee ô blessed Spirit that I may continue in holinesse and give mee patience that I may endure with sobrietie and peace what I must goe thorough The time may come that this child may blesse the wombe that bare it Lue 11 27. and these pappes which my God may spare to give suck unto it His will must be fullfilled and my will must submit If hee spare mee life I will render him thanks If hee give mee my child I will dedicate it to his service but if it be his pleasure through this tribulation to end my dayes then I know and am assured that hee will wipe away all teares from mine eyes Reu. 21.4 Then hee will bring mee to his heavenly throane where shall be noe more death neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more paine for the former things shall be passed away The Prayer O My Lord and my God my heavenly father my mercifull Iesus thou who hast filled my belly with thine hidden treasure Ps 17.14 and now hast brought mee to hope and depend in the middest of mine anguish upon thy wonted mercies bow downe thine eare and hearken to the cryes of a pained woman Vnto thee ô Lord doe I crye Ps 142 5. thou art my refuge and my portion in the land of the living attend therfore unto my cry vers 6. Ps 119 153. Ps 69.29 for I am brought very low Consider mine affliction and deliver mee for I doe not forget thy law I am poore and sorrowfull let thy salvation ô God set mee up on high Ps 38.8 I am feeble and sore smitten I roare by reason of the disquietnesse of my heart vers 9. 1. Tim. 4.10 Ps 18.1 vers 2. All my desire is before thee and my groaning is not hid from thee In thee I trust who art the living God who art the saviour of all especially of them that believe I love thee ô Lord my strength thou art my rock and my fortresse my strength in whom I trust my buckler the horne of my salvation and my high tower Ps 7.1 Ps 20.1 ô save mee now in this heavie visitation and deliver thy servant Heare mee ô Lord in this day of trouble thy name ô God of Iacob vers 2. defend mee Send mee helpe from thy sanctuarie Ps 25.16 strengthen mee out of Sion Turne thee unto mee and have mercy upon mee for I am desolate vers 17 and afflicted The troubles of my heart are enlarged ô bring thou mee out of my distresses vers 18 Looke upon mine affliction and my paine vers 20 and forgive all my sinnes O keepe my soule deliver mee let mee not be confounded for I put my trust in thee Ps 71.1 In thee alone doe I put my trust vers 2. let mee never be put to confusion but deliver mee in thy righteousnesse and cause mee to escape incline thine eare unto mee and save mee Ps 40.13 Be pleased ô Lord to deliver mee ô Lord make hast to helpe mee Give a happie end to these my torments that I may enjoy the fruit of my wombe for which I suffer them O Lord in mercy if it may stand with thine eternall decree preserve both my life and the life of mine issue Arme mee with patience to undergoe these pangs and in the â—nd give mee comfort in what thou shalt send mee If otherwise thou hast determined to end my life by these heavy torments ô my sweete and mercifull Iesus receave mee into thy bosome that I
thee untill hee have consumed thee from offe the land whither thou goest to possesse it Yea yet once againe The Lord said unto Moses Num 14.11 How long will this people provoke mee And how long will it be ere they beleive mee for all the signes that I have shewed among them vers 12 I will smite them with the pestilence and disinherit them and will make of thee a mightier nation then they O the fathomlesse treasure of the bountie of my God! Rom 2 4. O the riches of his goodnesse and patience and long suffering leading us to repentance What were the Israëlites that hee should not plague them Why not presently The wages is due so soone as the service is done and the punishment is as due so soone as the offence is committed and yet allthough God be forward in the former hee is slow to the latter allthough hee delight in the former yet is hee hardly drawne to the latter Mee think's when I consider the Israëlites I wonder at their rebellions and yet mee think's when I consider our selves I wonder much more Is 5.1 What could have beene done more to this vine-yard of God that hee hath not done unto us vers 2. Hee hath senced us and gathered out the stones from us and planted us with the choycest vine and built a tower in the midst of us and allso made a wine-presse in this his vineyard and yet for all this when hee looked that wee should bring forth grapes behould wild grapes Oh how my heart panteth within mee and my whole selfe is in a trembling feare when I consider his mercies and our rebellions Dan 5.5 O mee think's I see a hand-writing against us allmost upon every doore every inhabitant written as it were with the fingers of a man's hand as once Beâ—shazzar saw upon the plaister of the wall which maketh my countenance change vers 6. and my thoughts be troubled so that the joynts of my loynes be loosed and my knees smite one against another and I cry for mercy for I have offended and I knock for compassion for I have transgressed God did threaten Israel with a pestilence when they should be gathered together in their citties with a Pestilence that should consume them from off the land with a Pestilence that should dis-inherit them and all this to avenge the quarrell of his covenant because they still provoked him because they would not believe him for all the signes that hee had shewed among them But where in had Israel offended In what manner In what measure which this land hath not exceeded And yet ô how unwillingly doth the All-mighty punish us O how slowly O how gently Matt 11.12 The kingdome of heaven suffereth violence saith my Iesus Violence indeede by our daring sinnes for wee draw the revenger's sword for him wee bend his bowe for him Ps 7.12 and make it ready wee allso prepare for him the instruments of death vers 13 Ps 64.3 because wee whett our tongues like swords and bend our bowes to shoote our arrowes even bitter words vers 4. that wee may shoote in secret at the perfect suddenly doe wee shoote at him feare not And what now can wee expect but judgments seeing that wee will not offer the just and rightfull violence to the Kingdome of heaven even the violence of our prayers the violence of our teares the violence of sobbs and sighs and groanes in our spirituall combats and conflicts What can wee expect but vengeance And what doe wee meete with but destruction Hee hath threatned and threatned againe and againe and yet wee have resisted and resisted againe and againe too Is 5.7 When hee looked for righteousnesse behould oppression justly therfore now wee looke for mercy behould a cry A cry in the beds of the languishing a cry in the chambers of the infected and pined prisoners a cry of the healthfull for feare of infection a cry of parents for their tender children a cry of children for their dying parents Brother cryeth for brother sister for sister all cry for helpe Ps 102 1. all cry for mercy O Lord heare our prayers and let our cryes come unto thee The Sixth part of the Soliloquie treating of the duety of a Christian decreeing both to whom and for whom wee ought to pray in the time of Pestilence I Weepe and weepe and sigh and sigh and pray and pray but why doe I thus weepe and sigh and pray If for my selfe it is a debt which is challenged even by nature it selfe so that I may have any hope by these meanes either to prevent or to cure the sicknesse If for others it is charitie it is a religious duety Thus wee are commanded by the Apostle Beare yee one anothers burdens Gal. 6.2 and so fullfill the law of Christ And againe by the same Apostle I am commanded to weepe with them that weepe Rom. 12.15 But must my teares be generall Must my prayers be universall For all For the wicked as well as the godly There was a time when the Prophet Ieremiah might not pray for Iudah The Lord said unto him Pray not for this people for their good Ier. 14.11 vers 12 When they fast I will not heare their cry and when they offer burnt-offerings and oblations I will not accept them but I will consume them by the sword and by the famine and by the Pestilence There was a time too when the Lord said concerning the sonnes c. 16.3 and concerning the daughters that were borne among the Iewes concerning their mothers that bare them and concerning their fathers that begat them vers 4. They shall dye of grievous deaths they shall not be lamented neither shall they be buried but they shall be as dung upon the face of the earth and they shall be consumed by the sword and by the famine and their carkeises shall be meate for the fowle of heaven and for the beasts of the earth vers 5. For thus saith the Lord Enter not into the house of mourning neither goe to lament nor bemoane them for I have taken away my peace from this people saith the Lord even loving kindnesse and mercies vers 6. Both the great and the small shall dye in this land they shall not be buried neither shall men lament for them nor cutt themselves nor make themselves bald for them And there was a time allso when the eyes of Iehojakim the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah c 22.17 and his heart were not but for coveteousnesse and for to shed innocent blood and for oppression and for violence to doe it vers 18 Therfore thus sayd the Lord concerning him They shall not lament for him saying Ah my brother or Ah sister they shall not lament for him saying Ah Lord or Ah his glory vers 19 Hee shall be buried with the buriall of an Asse drawne and cast out beyond the