knows not how to grow rich Let it be so thought my Son prefer it however and thou shalt find something sweeter within thee than the delight of riches more certain here and a blessed earnest of that which is better hereafter Though I judge that it would be no difficult thing to prove that a prudent man manifesting sincerity in all his dealings is at the long run in a fairer road of acquiring riches than he that uses craft or subtle falshood for the obtaining thereof For 1. Nothing invites more than just dealing and not only the just whose custome will be certain but even they who practise subtilty themselves love plain dealing in others For a time happily they may suffer because for a while their fidelity will not be believed men having vainly assumed the shews of it to gain a name that they may the more freely deceive But when time and experience manifests that they hate all circumventing policies may be credited and relyed upon in what they say and promise Both the implanted love of Truth which though weakened is yet in the Conscience of every man with the profit content and satisfaction every man cannot chuse but take in such dealing must of necessity invite numerous Chapmen the only means of acquiring riches Whereas a man who in making his bargain speaks falsly and by little arts designs to over-reach and to lay foundations of future advantage must in time as their circumventions appear be warily avoided or dealt with only out of necessity which last no longer than that necessity compels However be the matter in this particular as it will let the love to Truth be thy chief motive and in that thou wilt stand right to God thy Neighbour and thy own Soul and then thou shalt find that there are other recompences and rewards as far beyond riches as vertue is beyond vice or the joyes â—f Heaven above those which are worldly and sensual Of Wisdom In the Government of our selves here there is nothing so necessary as the guidance of Wisdom I mean not the crafts of the World or the policies of artificial men those I would have thee my Son understand not to use them but to know how prudently and securely to avoid them Remember that true Wisdom which only deserves that name is alwayes joyned with goodness and vertue Take it therefore for a rule that whatsoever is not so associated though it may be called craft policy art wit all which have their esteem in this artificial state of the World yet Wisdom it is not which is ever agreeable to the rules of right reason consonant to the life and principles of our blessed Saviour and is properly defined to be the knowledg how to demean our selves in the best manner in all the occasions and occurrences of humane life Now Wisdom thus defined is acquireable by these helps 1. By the instructions and examples of prudent Parents 2. By reading the Books of wise men and principally the Scriptures which as they are intended to make us wise to Salvation so are they very effectual to secure us against all the assaults of temptation and to steer us right upon all occasions 3. By conversing with those who by long experience and true Conclusions drawn thereupon have attained a high measure of prudence and are able to advise the best and securest wayes in all accidents and variations of life 4. By meditating frequently and seriously with our selves As to the First of these the instruction and good example of prudent Parents I know it is the duty of all for their childrens sakes as well as their own to be such the defects in this particular are a radical cause of the Worlds depravation I know it is a much more difficult matter for Children who have not such Parents to gain any proportionable measure of prudence the attaining thereof being uncertain where there are such I think also that the defects and imprudencies of Children are justly chargeable upon Parents where they have not done their parts though Children are not thereby wholly excused because God has offered many other helps for the attainment of Wisdom I conceive 't is fondness and regard to themselves in Parents when they love their Children imprudently that is when their affection is not directed chiefly to the making them Good and Wise This should be the prime end wealth but secondary That in order to this they ought to be very careful that they indulge them in nothing that may any wayes cross those ends Neither out of compliance with the World the fulfilling their own humors the powerful inclination of their own bad examples improvidence and negligence in doing their duties omission of taking times and seasonable advantages to instruct and reform them moroseness and keeping an imperious distance out of an ill use made of their Paternal authority and prerogative loosing thereby the fair occasions of preserving and reclaiming them which decent and prudent familiarity would daily afford them This as to Parents which may concern thee if ever it pleases God to bless thee with Children In the mean time let it not be grievous to thee but rather a pleasure to give an attentive ear and to lay up in thy mind the advices and instructions of thy Parents Consider That what they advise is as near as they can for your good that it flows from their affection even when they rebuke or correct that it is grievous even to them to have occasion to do it and taken up out of necessity lest they should fail in their duty towards you Consider that they have lived many years and have had experiences in the World and are therefore in fit capacity to instruct That affection perswades them to extract the best of that knowledg they have and communicate to you there being nothing more delightful to them than to see your understanding improve in the acquisition of true Wisdom That the young of all creatures do learn of the old it being the method which God has placed in the order of Generation and continuation of all species and that consequently it is unnatural not to have regard to it Lastly consider that Solomon reputed the wisest man our blessed Master excepted spent a great part of those experimental instructions he thought fit to communicate to the World in commending to us the excellency of Wisdom and perswading youth that it is chiefly to be gained by giving heedful attention to the counsels of Parents that besides the profit arises from it a blessing also attends it from God Almighty who is well pleased when we guide our selves according to the course and order which in his infinite Wisdom he has planted in the World This is what I thought necessary to mention to thee in order to the first means of acquiring Wisdom The giving heed to the instruction and example of Parents With this caution subjoyned that if upon improvement of thy own knowledge thou shalt discover some blemishes or defects in
no eye to Punishment but flows from the heart as the Suns rayes do from its own fountain of Light Do not the best Parents esteem those children most who love them truest and whose obedience is an effect of that Love and we reckon it somewhat a sign of a bad disposition to be good only from fear of the Rod Strive therefore my Son as the most acceptable sacrifice to God ever and truly to love him to love his Commands as pleasant in themselves and therefore chosen by God to be his Commands For be assured that God has commanded nothing but what is good for them to whom he gives it and delightful too were it not for reluctancies begotten in us either by the perversion of nature or the impediments which the depraved world put upon it Of Reading Meditating and going to Church Though Reading of good Books and going to Church frequent discourses with wise and good men Meditation with thy self be very good means of acquiring and improving thy knowledge yet these things thou must not make thy end but the means rather for the better accomplishment of the end The main end for which thou takest pains in all these particulars is to lead an honest and good life well pleasing to God just and regardful to thy Neighbour and thy self Never therefore go to Church meerly for shew nor take upon thee the semblance of that which men call Religion for thy profit It will denote thee a Hypocrite the worst and most contemptible sort of men odious to God to those who are good and in time to thy self It debases Religion and makes it serve the vilest purposes Whatever the professions of men are and how great soever their shews of Sanctity from the constancy of going to Church and the frequency of private exercise yet must not these things denote them true Christians unless the goodness of their lives not only in their avoiding of the most noted vices as Whoredome Drunkenness Profaness c. but also in forbearing and detesting the less noted and more injurious crimes of oppression extortion covetousness hard and unjust dealing high mindedness and overweening of themselves severe censuring of others hard-heartedness want of Charity and natural affection which are crimes I say more destructive to mankind and in my opinion not in the least to excuse the other much more hateful to God Whatsoever therefore thou takest up of publick or private duty as it is call'd exercise it with a sincere mind but let thy acquisition of Knowledge be always in order to the bettering thy life not for vain-glory or to be esteemed better than thy Neighbour If thy business be the Practice of Physick the exercise of Trade or whatever employment else let me forewarn thee that thou take not up any mode of Religion in order to the improvement of thy employment but let that depend wholly on thy painful endeavours to acquire a valuable ability in thy profession and in a just and conscientious discharge of the same Of Praying to God Besides hearing concerning which the former paragraph is chiefly meant there are two other particulars in which our applications to God Almighty chiefly consist And they are Praising of God and Praying to God concerning each of which I shall advise thee And first of Praying to God Conceive that Prayer ought to be a serious and premeditated application to his Divine Majesty for the obtaining of something that we want or the continuance of what we enjoy or the averting some evil we have deserved Here we are well to consider who it is to whom we apply our selves that the greatest King nay were there an Universal Monarch of this Earthly Globe to whom all Kings bow'd he were as nothing not so much in dignity as a Mote in the Sun compared to the Majesty of Heaven to whom notwithstanding men every day make hasty irreverent and trivial applications O my Son this is a matter of mighty weight And therefore whensoever thou makest thy addresses to God do it with the due consideration of the following Particulars 1. Let thy Prayer be for what thou wantest or for the continuance of what thou hast just cause to fear he will take from thee or averting of some deserved punishment 2. Let it not be hastily or unadvisedly exprest nor mixt with numerous and impertinent particulars but proportioned to the quality and extent of thy want in which the need it self must guide thee 3. Avoid Tautologies and vain Repetitions which imply affectation in Prayer and disrespect to him thou addressest to The Primitive Christians were longer in fixing their hearts in a fit posture for Prayer than in Prayer it self and it is very considerable that we find among them no Prayers of length but only private ejaculations and the short form that our Saviour himself hath set us 4. Take heed that thou never makest Prayer an Opus operatum a work done ending in it self a form of words spoken like a Parrot without premeditation and the concurrence of the mind but from the impulse and urgency of thy wants 5. Pray not with doubting but have those just and becoming thoughts of God that since he has permitted thee to pray he will certainly grant thy requests if thou prayest as thou oughtest that is not in formality not out of course and custome not to be seen of men but because thou art the submissive Son of a gracious Father alwayes ready to hear and infinitely able to accomplish whatsoever his obedient Children shall request of him if therefore we miss of what we desire we must impute it not to Gods unwillingness to hear but to some great defect in our selves for want whereof our Prayers justly become ineffectual 6. Consider likewise that Prayer seems to be rather a priviledge than a duty a gracious concession to us that when we are in straits and difficulties in terrors and disquiets of mind or bodily wants or afflictions we have the freedom allowed us yea and a fatherly invitation to make our applications to God for relief 'T is well pleasing indeed to God that those who are good and lead their lives in a careful obedience to his Laws do make their applications to his Majesty in their distresses but the profit redounds to our selves and 't is then God's special time to assist his Children when they can find no other way of relief 7. Lastly let the ground of thy hopes in obtaining thy desires be chiefly the goodness and mercy of God and his promise to hear those who pray in Faith and as they ought But withal think not that thy honest and good life is not necessary for obtaining thy Suit A debauched and lewd Son has little encouragement to expect that his Father should give him what he desires whilst he continues in the course of his lewdness And though God be full of mercy taking delight in the exercise thereof yet is it to the good and penitent not to the obstinate and contemptuous
even against thy own genius and aversion Remember the pleasure of wholsome and handsome Children remember the improbability of having any where there is a secret and a real dislike Remember what disgusts will arise in thy breast when thou shalt see others happy in a suitable match in a numerous and amiable off-spring Take all these things together and before thou settest forth upon this expedition read over again and again the Memorandums I have here given thee as the fruit of my experience and observation and which I have delivered unto thee in hopes to make thee in this particular truly happy The happiness of a Married life requires that both be good But it will not be an expedient sufficient for the procurement of thy happiness to have chosen a good and vertuous wife with the best qualifications above intimated unless thou also prove as fit and suitable a Husband For though thou canst not be happy with a bad one yet thou mayest so demean thy self as to be very unhappy though thou hast a good one Thy own vices and vanities will in the continuance and consequence of them bring many evils upon thee both as thou art a Husband a Father a Master of a Family As thou art a Husband if thou debauchest thy self becomest a Drunkard a common Gamester negligent of thy fame and thy calling besides the evils more immediately will attend thee thou wilt by degrees sowre the good disposition of thy Mate and turn thy sweet nourishing and delicious Wine into Vinegar Thou wilt bring upon her Melancholy and Sickness cool and lessen if not totally extinguish her affection for there being in all naturally implanted self love and desire of good to our selves what reason is there you should expect a permanency of her affections when through your default she is made most miserable For what ever humor and obstinacy may perswade you to yet love is naturally the off spring only of love and you will but vainly exact it from her as her duty when notwithstanding the mutual obligation you have broken all the ties and by a vitious and imperious carriage which usually follows it you incite her to a reliction of those respects she would otherwise inviolably have maintained You must remember that you marry not a Saint but a Woman that you have past your promises as well as your Wife that the Tie is equally obliging and withal ask your self whether if she were become so vitious so neglectful of all the parts of her duty you would not think it unreasonable that she should expect any degree of affection from you having done all that lay in her to sink you into irreparable Calamities Consider further that if through your default the temper of her mind and constitution of her body be perverted which should indeed by your sweetness be improved you are justly to be charged with all the ill effects that may thereupon ensue which will be no small burthen to your Conscience and a certain diminution or destruction of all the contentments which would otherwise flow from that relation A Vitious Father seldom makes good Children 2. Your Vitious habits will not only have an influence upon your Wife but your Children also for how can you then be capable of the due oversight of their education and giving them those good instructions which are necessary for forming and fashioning their minds and seasoning them with fit principles of Religion and Vertue What power also can your instructions have when as they grow up they shall discover in your own life vitious practices contrary to the instructions you give them 'T is by all allowed that practice and example perswade much more powerfully than precept and therefore it will be certain that they will every day warp and decline that original innocence and good nature they are born with by observation of your daily deviations How can you implant and cherish in them that Reverence they owe to God that love to honesty and vertue they cannot but perceive you contemn by practising contrary thereunto So that since the happiness of man in his posterity is not in having Children but in having good ones you must never expect a participation in that blessing when you take a course that can in no reason produce other than the contrary You will find it as the World is constituted a difficult matter to steer them right with the utmost care a good and prudent Father can use what little hopes then will remain when there is not only a neglect of the paternal duty but your own perswasive example to hurry them into vitious extravagancies It is not force and a rude hand that fashions the mind you shall find looking with an unperverted eye into the World and examining things aright that when Parents are playing the Beadles with their Children that for every lash the Parents it may be passionately or humerously give them they deserve ten themselves were the cause fairly pleaded as either foolishly beating them for trivial lapses by other means more easily amended or for such faults as they themselves either for want of good instruction or by giving bad example or some occasion thereunto have thereby produced This is indeed one of the greatest causes of the Worlds perversion And therefore my Son for the sake of your self and Wife whose felicity is here much concerned for the respects you owe to your Children who will owe more to you for good education than their lives for 't is better never to have been born than to be vitious and lastly for the common respect you owe to your Countrey and to mankind whose integrity is preserved by the good of particulars be circumspect in this and careful to discharge your Paternal duty by preserving your self in a fit capacity both for seasoning the minds of your Children by prudent instructions and affording them the more powerful incitement from your own well led life and laudable example The concernment to the Family that the Master be a good Man 3. A Vitious man can never make a good Master of a Family The good will either be corrupted by him or with detestation leave him You are not Master of Slaves that you can force to serve your will God be praised the Law of England knows no such tenure But of Servants by contract who when they are admitted you are tacitly charg'd with a care of them not only to afford conveniences for their livelyhood and external support but 't is a duty incumbent upon you to form and fashion their minds with a love to all that is good and Honest This you are obliged to in several regards as 1. Out of respect to the good of your Country of which Servants are a numerous and considerable part And therefore it is a deserved blemish upon Masters if their Servants fly out into unworthy actions unless they can manifest that they have not been wanting on their part to teach them better and afford them the benefit