of wine Guaz. Descend to the other example of children which flatter their parentes to get money or something els Annib. That if I be not deceiued requireth more déepe consideration and we must first vnderstande that some to get fauour vse to vphold and extoll whatsoeuer others shall say without gainsaying any thing some on the contrary fall to contention continually and crosse other mens sayinges and these two extréemes are naught betwéene which thereto lieth a way which those kéepe who * will neither altogether sooth neither altogether thwart but * in an honest sort knowe howe to allowe or disallowe the sayinges of others in time and place as it becommeth an honest man to doe Next wée must note that those who holde vp euerie ones yeas and nayes only to the intent to delight ought to be called iesters but when they doe it for their aduauntage they are without question flatterers And according to this distinction children which imbrace their parentes to get something from them are to be termed flatterers but in this case wée haue further to consider that children can not giue prayse or shewe loue to their parentes that may surmount their naturall and bounden duetie or that may be more then their parentes thinke they haue merited Guaz. Yea mary but it is a common saying That hée which maketh more of thee then hée was woont either hath coosoned thée alreadie or els goeth about to coosen thée And parentes are not so blinde but that they sée in this case the subtletie and craft of their children Annib. They doe not only perceiue it but also conceiue well of it and doe not count it craft as you doe but rather a thing commendable for that they sée their children therein to followe nature as their Mistresse which teacheth vs to humble our selues in our néede and to craue of others by déedes sounding foorth their prayse and setting foorth our affection towardes them and to know that hée which wil haue must aske and he which wil enter into the house must first knocke at the gate And albeit we ought at all times to giue prayses to our heauenly father yet wée are most stirred theretoo both with tongue and hearte when wée are desirous to obtaine any thing at his handes And to appease his wrath wée call him not iust but make mention of his clemency and mercy whereof wée stande in néede Whereof according to this consideration we may rightly conclude that suche manner of déedes ought not to runne vnder the name of flatterie and that infantes no nor children of discretion can not though they would vse flatterie towardes their parentes Which Pittacus one of the seuen wise men of Greece plainely shewed saying Neuer be afeard to bee counted a flatterer of thy father And touching the example of the poore which begge almes with glauering woordes I answere that necessitie hath no lawe and if to auoyde hunger in some countries theft bee suffered muche more ought flatterie to bee borne withall And besides I thinke that it is not properly to bée called flatterie for that a Flatterer doeth not vse openlye to shewe his néede but cunningly laboureth to mooue men to extende their liberalitie towardes him And by the selfe same reason I mainteine the cause of the Oratour who craueth openly of the Prince or Iudge that which hee desireth to obteine neither ought hee any more to bée blamed then hée which saith take heede to thy selfe for I meane to strike thée For as this same manifesteth his intent and giueth his aduersary leasure to prepare to defende himselfe so the Oratour entreth not into the fielde but that the iudge first knoweth the request hee is to make and bethinketh him of the meanes which shall bee vsed to sounde his opinion There remaineth nowe no more but the last example of louers who I am content to confesse vnto you are in déede no better then flatterers For a greater man then my selfe confesseth as much writing that if their beloued bée flat nosed they tearme her amiable if hauked they call her Princely if shée bée browne they count her manly if white heauenly But this is not to bée maruelled at séeing louers are both lawlesse and witlesse and that in their heartes as our Poet saith The senses beare the sway and reason is subdued And as the louer flattereth his Mistresse so she flattereth her selfe for that there is no woman so deformed who hearing herself called bewtiful beléeueth it not or at least thinketh not to bée estéemed for such of her louer And as the Crowe to giue credite and consent to the prayses which the Foxe gaue him let the pray fall foorth of his mouth so many vnfortunate women haue felt the euill which commeth of flatterie for that by the breath of prayses as a Feather in the wind they haue suffered themselues to be lifted so high that being not able there to sustaine them selues they haue falne to the grounde and in the fall haue giuen their honor such a foyle that of Mistresses they haue become seruantes Nowe touching that point of ciuilitie and curtesie where you say wee salute those who are our enimies I say that this sentence is most true that we must not take for Doues all that say Peace bee vnto you but those ought to bée termed dissemblers rather then flatterers Guaz. In my minde you giue diuers names to one selfe thing for so much as flatterie is neuer without faigning Annib. There is as muche difference betwéene those two as betwéene the generall and the speciall For it is true that hée which flattereth faigneth but not on the contrary And to explane it vnto you beholde a fencer who making at his enimies head striketh him on the legge or some where els you may well say that this fellowe dissembleth but not that hée flattereth And valiant Captaines also doe they not deceiue the enimie when they make a shewe to goe one way and then take another and are not victories wonne as wel by Stratagemes and policies of warre as by force of armes which kinde of counterfeiting is not blameable but rather commendable And not only amongst enimies but amongest friendes and acquaintance colourable dealing is tollerable in thinges which are not preiudiciall vnto them As if I bée requested to goe sée some Comedy or some Play or some such like thing that I haue no minde to goe thither I will make as though I were yll at ease or if I would not bée knowne by night I will disguyse my selfe in some sort You sée then that dissembling stretcheth to many things and to diuers endes and that flattery is more strict and conteined vnder dissimulacion as the speciall vnder his generall Wherefore I conclude that as it is not lawefull to dissemble in flattering for that it is not hurtfull to him towardes whom it is vsed so is it permitted neither can it bée saide to bée a faulte to dissemble without harme without intent to hurt another
Methridates who for her husbands sake causing her head to be polled and framing her selfe to ride and weare armure like a maÌ„ accompanied him valiantly faithfully patieÌ„tly in al his troubles perils which gaue Methridates wonderfull coÌ„fort in his aduersitie gaue the world to vnderstand that there is nothing so troublesome greeuous but that the two hearts of the husband and the wife lincked togither are abâ—e to support it And therefore when the husbandes are afflicted with any infirmity either of mind or body let the wiues bee ready both in word and deed to comfort and to attend them whereby they shall see their loue and affection will growe more feruent and faithfull For conclusion the husband and the wyfe muste count all thinges common betweene them hauing nothing of their owne in particulâ—r no not so much as the body it selfe and laying aside pryde they must cheerefully set their handes to chose thinges that are to be done about y e house beloÌ„ging to their calling to striue in well doing one to ouercome another whereof will growe such conteÌ„ted quietnesse as will happily prolong their liues to old age and by the bond of loue concorde they shal giue their children an example to liue in vnitie one with an other and their seruauntes to agree together in the dispatche of their businesse and discharge of their duties Guaz. For so much as you haue made mention of children I should like well y t from henceforth according to our determination you come to speake of the conuersation betweene y e parents the children for I think it a matter very expedieÌ„t to set down y e orders which they ought to obserue in conuersing togither for y e euen amongst theÌ„ there is not for y e most part found that good agreemeÌ„t and y e discrete dealing which ought to be that the world is now come to this passe y t the child is no sooner come to any vnderstanding but that he beginneth to cast in his head of his fathers death as a little childe riding behind his father sayde simply vnto him Father when you are dead I shal ride in the Saddle yea there are many great knauish children which wish and worke the death of their fathers whereof I know not well to whom to impute the fault either to the fathers which keepe not their children in such awe neyther bring them vp in such sorte as they ought to do or to the children who know not how much they are beholding to their fathers Annib. And which of theÌ„ in the end rather conclude you to be in the fault Guaz. Marye the Childe who can not bring an action agaynst his father though he do him neuer so great wrong Annib. Why sayd you not but now that the child often times knoweth not his duty to his father Guaz. Yes mary did I. Annib. To whom wil you giue the charge to make the child know and vnderstand that duty Guaz. To the Father Annib. Then reuoke your first sentence and conclude that the fault is in the father who ought to haue infourmed him in his duty Guaz. If the father giue his sonne good lessons he will not hearken vnto them what can he doe more if the Father offereth instructions with the right hand the childe receiueth them with the left hand what fault is the Father in Annib. If the father in time teach him to vse his right haÌ„d he will neuer grow to be left handed but it is no marueile if hauing suffered him to vse that ill custome a long tyme he cannot afterwardes take it from him And therefore hee ought to accuse his owne negligence for that he hath deferred till euening to giue him â—hose instructions whiche hee should haue giuen him earlye in the morning at the Sunne rysing euen together as it were with the milke of y e Nurse not considering that in tender mindes as it were in waxe a man may make what impression he lift Guaz. I know not how you can excuse the children who after the father hath nourished and brought them vp carefully vnder the charge of learned men and instructed them in the faith of Christ in the end run astray and liuing lewdlye bring foorth fruite vnworthy their good bringing vp Annib. That happeneth very sieldome though it do happen yet for al y t the fathers are not discharged of the care ouer them which God himselfe hath inioyned them to Guaz. I marueile not so much y t a child vertuously brought vp sometime falleth out naught or if therevpon afterwardes ariseth discord betwene his father him for y e vnlikenesse of manners may be the cause of it but I count it strange as it were agaynst nature y t both y e father y e sonne being both honest men and for their good dealing wel spoken of by all men it shal often fall out that they cannot agree together in the house but liue in continuall strife and dissention and agreeing well in publike affayres still disagree about househould matters whereof I could bring you many examples Annib. You sayd but erewhile that the child ought not to commence an action agaynst the father if you will stand to that sentence you must needes confesse that the sonne how honest soeuer he be doth not honestly when he withstandeth his father and conformeth not himselfe to his pleasure Guaz. I auow and make good that the sonne ought to suffer the father to commaunde ouer him and that hee ought to obay him without any resistaunce but that their conuersation may frame the better I thinke it necessarye to appointe to the father how he ought to proceed in his fatherly iurisdiction y t he exceede not y e bonds of reason and giue not his sonne cause if not to oppose himselfe against his pleasure yet to find fault w t him in his hart to think himself ill delt withal by him by means wherof he waxeth cold faint in y e loue reuerence which he ought to beare to his father Annib. I can neuer forget y e vndoubted saying y e fewe children are like the father that many of them are worse and y e those which are better are very rare thin sowed I would haue vs first therfore serch out y e cause why so fewe children resemble the father answere to y e hope he coÌ„ceiueth of theÌ„ whereof ariseth disagreement betweene them by y t meane we shal better vnderstaÌ„d what their conuersatioÌ„ ought to be Guaz. With all my hart Annib. First it is to be considered that children bring smal or no comfort vnto their parents if nature fortune bee not well tempered in them Guaz. How so Annib. As a fruitful graine sowed in a soyle vnfit for it bringeth forth no increase so a child which is naturally giueÌ„ to learning shal neuer do well if he be giuen to warfare so much it importeth to finde out in the beginning
effectâ— but let vs here only consider the greife of Kyng Dauid who at the death of his sonne Absolon was vanquished of his affections whiche in all other accidentes he vsed to maister that shedding teares aboundantly by the greife which he felt he was driuen to breake out into these complaintes My sonne Absolon Absolon my sonne who wil giue me leaue to dy for thee Thus sorowfull was he for the death of his sonne notwithstanding this his sonne had before slaine his other sonne Amon and had done hym a thousand outrages yea finally conspired against him and his Realme but for y e children haue no such regard to this tender loue of their parents as they ought to haue doing as you would haue me I say briefly that they ought to know that the first law of nature is to honour the father the mother that the Spartanes vsed to do reuereÌ„ce to their elders to the ende y t being accustomed to reuerence those whom they had nothing to do withal they might haue their parents in the more honour reuereÌ„ce If the Panims obserued y e law so inuiolably much more ought Christians to keepe it who haue receiued it out of Gods owne mouth who giueth his blessing promiseth the reward of long life to those y t honour their father mother that no child should be so graceles grateles amoÌ„gste infinit other to forget these three 〈◊〉 receiued of y e father to wit his being his nourishing and his instructing for euery one of those is sufficient to perswade them that next vnto God there is nothing more to bee honoured then the Father and mother If the father bee churlish and curst vnto them let the manifold benefites receyued of him counteruayle that crueltye and continue them in their duetye by the example of the young manâ— who as one cast in his teeth that his Father spake ill of him aunswered That he would not do it if he had not cause Lette them take heede of molesting their parentes any waye or contending with them but to ouercome them with patience for they shall be sure neuer to fynde surer friende then their father and they must alwayes carry in their mindes that he which stubbornly striueth with his father prouoketh the wrath of God against him so y t hee shall neither passe away his life quietly nor yet make his end honestly let them so behaue themselues y t their father haue no cause to curse them wish ill of them as Oedipus did to his Children for it is a thing most certayne that God heareth the prayers of the Father against his children let them not think by any deede or seruice to be able to require their Fathers goodnesse towards them neither feare to be found flatterers for any praise they can giue him or for any kindnesse they can shew him for when they haue done their duetye to the vttermost they can yet shall they not haue done al which they should Lastly let them stick to their parentes in all troubles and aduersitye assuring theÌ„selues that they which shall abandon their parentes shall be forsaken of God that is the greatest offence that may be committed Guaz. A man may gather by your most godly admonitioÌ„s that y e wise Salomon was not to be found fault withal who being demaunded why he made no law against murtherers of their parentes answered That he thought no man how wicked so euer he were would ouer commit any suche monstrous impiety Haue you any more to say touching the conuersation betweene the Father and the sonne Annib. Nothing else but that he shall haue the same measure made him by his children as he shall meate to his Father like as there was a Father who was driuen out of his owne house by his sonne and was fayne to take vp his lodging in the spittle house and seeing his sonne one day go by the doore prayed him for charitie sake at leaste to sende him a payre of sheetes to lye in The sonne mooued with his Fathers request was no sooner come home but he coÌ„maunded one of his sonnes to carry a payre of sheetes to the Hospitall to his Grandfather but the childe deliuered but one of them which his Father blaming him for at his returne he aunswered I will keepe the other for you when in your olde age you shall go to the Hospitall as my Graundfather now doth Whereby we maye learne that our Children will deale with vs as we deale with our parents And this shall serue to cloase vp our discourse touching this conuersation Guaz. I shall thinke your discourse more perfect if it shal please you to make some perticuler mention of Daughters for that the father is to vse himself otherwise towards them then toward his sonnes Annib. I feare me I cannot satisfie you in that point for that at this day the manner of bringing them vp is so different I say not of one countrey froÌ„ another but of one Countye yea and of one Citie that a man canne set downe no certaine determinate rule of it for some fathers will not suffer their Daughters to set their foote foorth of doores not past once or twise in the yeere at some solemne feasts some will allow them not only to keepe company with their friendes and kinsfolke at home in the house but also to visite their friendes abrode and to be present at banquets meeting of friends some will haue them taught to write and reade and to haue skill in Poetry musicke and painting others will haue them learne nothing but to spinne with the disâ—affe and gouerne the house do you now thinke it possible to set down one law which shall be agreeable to all these diuersities Guaz. I remember I haue read of a good wise Paynter who hauing to draw the singuler bewties of Hellene assembled together a company of the fayrest women he coulde get and taking of euery one of them y t parte which was most excellent in them he reduced al those bewties into the shape of Hellen so I would haue you if euerye one of those fashions by you rehearsed like you not of it selfe by the pensil of your iudgement to draw foorth those partes out of euery of those customes whiche like you best and thereof to compose the fourme and manners of a perfect virgine Annib. I had rather you would perswade me to flie rather then follow the example of the painter for whereas hee drew Helene I thinke I should doe better to represent Lucrece or Virginia Guaz. You haue taken me at a vauntage but I woulde haue you aunswere me according to the simple meaning of my wordes Annib. Though I doe so I must not follow the painter for that his painting tended only to one ende but Fathers doe not so in the bringing vp of their Daughters and yet perchaunce euery one of those diuersittes is commendable if it be well vnderstoode Guaz. I see not how those extremities can
duty when a wise Father getteth a sunne like to himselfe founding their opinion vpon certayne subtile and Philosophical reasons which at this time I meane to omit Now the case being so it were good for a man that would marry to be sure that his wife come of ill parentes and it were best for wyse men to take heed how they marry for feare of getting fooles to their children but I take not the matter to be so therefore I answere you and those other That nature alway tendeth to the best so that of good parentes ought naturally to come good children and if it fall out sometyme otherwise the fault is not to be imputed to nature For if one looke aduisedly into the matter he shall see that for the most part it happeneth not by the byrth but by the bringing vp That is the cause that many grosse heads by continual study become ready witted and other who euer in their cradell are found to haue a quick wit in processe of tyme eyther through idlenesse or gluttony or some such misgouernment become slow and dull headed Nowe from that consideration I woulde haue you come to this that the Father who through much trauayle and trouble both of mynde and body hath gotten wealth and honour though he getteth children of great wit yet he is so ouergone in fatherlye affection towardes them that knowing he hath prouided for them sufficient to liue by at their ease he cannot abide to see them trauaile and labour as he hath done so that vanquished with a certain tender affection he suffereth them to be brought vp delicatelye and wantonly and is the cause that by this ydlenesse their naturall force decayeth and by custome and habite is changed into another nature Consider besides how the children perceiuing themselues thus coaxed and pampered by their parents keepe themselues so much as they maye oute of the dust and the sunne neither care to apply their mynde to any commendable thing or to seeke to get more then that liuing which their parentes haue lefte them not vnlike the crow which liueth only by the foode whiche other Beastes leaue And sure there is no doubt of it but that if they were meanly left by their parentes they would grow to be wise and sufficient men And thereof you see that for the moste part poore mens children become rich by their own study and industry and riche waxe poore by their negligence idlenesse which is signified vnto vs by that pleasaunt wheele whiche turneth vp this saying Riches breede pride pride pouerty pouerty humilitie humilitie riches riches agayne pride We will maintaine then for most true touching generation that as a man of men and of beastes a beast so of the good for the most part is ingendered the good but the good Father must be admonished that he trust not so much in the goodnes of his nature that hee thinke that onelye sufficiente to keepe his children good but beholding them with an eye rather aduised then pitifull and fatherly he must seeke to better their good nature in stirring them vp to vertuous deeds assuring themselues that to ariue to the perfectioÌ„ of vertue it is not ynough to be wel borne but also to be wel brought vp whereof we will speake by and by in more conuenient place In the meane while in the choyse of a wife we shal not doe amisse to be wel infourmed of the honesty of the mother in hope that the daughter will follow her honest nature and conditions and that we shall haue much lesse paine to keepe her in her goodnesse theÌ„ if by the peruerse nature of the mother she were naturally inclined to ill but it is not ynough to know the qualities of the mother but we must likewise be priuy to the conditions of the Father for that the children participate with the nature of both two and it often falleth out that they draw some imperfection from the one of them which the other is cleare voyde of And though it be expedient for euery man to haue a wife that is well borne yet I would haue Gentlemen especially take heede y t they matche only with those that come of Gentle blood for the cauilling of Sophists against gentrie is vayn who hauing no regarde to thinges common and knowne to euery man to wit that to haue a good race men buy horse and dogges whiche come of a good kinde of fruites also they make choise of the beste sortes will not likewise consider that to a Gentleman the good byrth of his wife is auayleable for the issue they shall haue betweene them nor weigh how much it importeth to the children whether their originall be barbarous or otherwise wherein like ignorant fellowes they shew themselues not to know that in generation there are certaine secret instincts of vertue and excellency communicated by the Parents to the children Guaz. I now consider that if it be true that education be another nature yt is requisite not only to knowe whether ones wife be borne of good parents but also whether shee haue been orderly and well brought vppe whiche alwayes commeth not to passe for that there are some who hauing but one daughter ar so blinded with the extreame loue they beare her that they will not haue her hindred of her will in any thing but suffer her to liue in all wanton pleasure delicasy which afterwards is y e cause of many incoÌ„ueniences Annib. You are not a whit deceiued yet for all that the husbande must not be discouraged for the too muche tendernesse of the parentes ouer her for she being yet but young with the helpe of her good nature he may easily like a tender twig make her straight if she begin to growe crooked and with graue admonitions refourme her wanton mynde Therby we may gather that it is better to marry a young gyrle then a mayde of ripe yeâ—res who is hardly brought to leaue her old il trickes if she haue taken any Guaz. Yet there are some of a contrary opinyon to yours who holde it better to take a wyfe which is of yeeres of discretion knowing how to order a house then of these infants newly come out of y e ground whom you must eyther teache your self or else appoint theÌ„ a gouernour And truly if any stranger should come to my house to whom I woulde giue good entertainment I should dye for very shame if I should he cumbred with one of those simple sottish creatures which knoweth neither how to aske a question nor how to make an answeare nor in discourse to shewe her selfe a wise and gallant wench and if she be not able to perfourme that I had rather lock her vp and say she is sick Annib. You shall neuer fynd young woman so sauory euery way that may please your taste but that liuing with you you will chaunge her manners and frame her to your owne fancy Touching this point if we will consider how different the
whereto he is most inclined Touching this matter I remember I haue read certayne verses of Dant whiche I haue nowe forgotten Guaz. You shall see I will helpe you Annib. I pray you doe Guaz. If that men had more care to follow natures lore Of able accoÌ„plisht men we should haue greater store But contrary a Priest of him we vse to make Who borne is for the war wherin he cheefe delight doth take And him we make a King whom nature hath ordaind A Lawier for to be and thus is natures course restraynd Annib. What pleasure I take in these verses as well for their delightfull harmony as for that they giue me to know how good a memory you are indued withall Here you see expressed one of the occasions of the vntowarde successe of children Guaz. It behooueth fathers to vse discretion in this point to finde out as soone one way as soone another the naturall instinct of their children which is best knowne in their infancye as the prouerbe is That by the morning it maye bee gathered how all the day will proue after And I thinke this most necessary respect to be little respected by some fathers who force their childreÌ„ to enter into that trade of life which is altogeather contrary to their naturall inclination and therefore no maruayle though they receiue small comâ—fort of them for thereof insueth many times the dishonoure of their house and which is worse greate offence towardes God as when poore gyrles are put into religious houses who euen from their mothers wombe desired to be married Annib. Those fathers which set their children to thinges contrary to their disposition are rather to be pittied then blamed for that it happeneth commonly for lacke of taking heede but these which thrust them into religious houses before they are of yeares to chuse or refuse that life are no doubt greatly to be blamed for that they bring their children to it eyther through feare or through false perswasioÌ„s which is nothing else but to withstand the will of God and to take from their children that free choyse which hee of his diuine goodnesse hath promised them And therefore if the Father be carefull of the honoure and quyet of his house lette him bee also carefull to knowe whether his sonnes mynde bee giuen eyther to learning or to armes or to husbandrye or to Merchaundise And where hee shall perceiue hee hath drawne him out of his righte waye lette him make him returne into it forthwith and set him agayne where he would be otherwise let him assure himselfe that a thing ill begun will come to a worse ende Guaz. Seeing we are to search the cause why children oftentimes fall not out according to the hope and opinyon of their parents you had neede begin at the milke which they suck for y t the nurses milke is of such force y t the vse thereof maketh the childe take more after the Nurse then the Mother which brought him into the world And when I remember the custome of diuers women in Fraunce who bring vp their Infantes only with the milke of beastes I think therof it commeth * that diuers of them are so fierce and cruell that by theyr yll lyfe they shewe themselues scarse to bee indued with that reasonable parte whiche is proper to menne With the good leaue of the good bee it spoken * Annib. I am out of all doubte of the maruaylous effects of the Milke and it is a thing most certayne that if a lambe bee nourished with the Milke of a Goate or a Kid with the milke of a yeaw the Kid will haue a very soft hayre and the Lambe a very rough and hayry Wooll And therefore it is to be thought that as the chylde by reason of the Milke taketh after the complexion of the Nurse so the disposition of the mynd followeth the complexion of the body And therof also it commeth that the daughters of honest women prooue altogether vnlike them both in body and mynde so that to deliuer children from their mothers to Nurses cannot be sayd to be other then a corrupting of nature But if we shoulde make mention of this fyrste Nourriture wee shoulde haue spoken of it then when wee discoursed of vnfortunate Mariages but I neyther spake of it there neyther will doe here for that the Philosophers and speciallye Galen haue spoken so pertinentlye and so sufficientlye of the force and vertue of the milke that we neede to make no farther question of it I forbore also to speake of it for that women at this daye are so curious of their comlinesse or rather of their vanitie that they hadde rather peruerte the nature of their Children then chaunge the fourme of their fyrme harde and rounde pappes whereof it commeth that the children fashioning themselues to the humoures of their Nurses swarue from the loue and duetye whiche they owe to their mothers and haue not in them the blood whiche mooueth them to obay or respecte them any thing whiche is manifested by an example of a Bastard of the house of the Gracchi who returning from the warres laden with the spoyles of the enimie had his mother and his Nurse comming before him hee gaue to his Mother a Siluer ring and to his Nourse a Coller of Golde whiche his mother misliking with hee tolde her she was to blame to doe so saying You bore me but nyne Monthes in your belly but my Nurse kept mee with her teates the space of two yeares That which I holde of you is my body whiche you gaue me scarse honestly but that whiche I haue of her proceeded of a pure and sincere affection so soone as I was borne you depriued me of your company and banished mee your presence but she graciously receiued mee vanished as I was betweene her armes and vsed mee so well that shee hath broughte mee to this you see These reasons with oâ—thers which I wil not rehearse stopped his mothers mouth being full ill ashamed and made his louing Nurse farther in loue with him Guaz. Seeing these women will not bee the whole Mothers of their Children they oughte at leaste to bee carefull to chuse good Nurses and well complexioned Annib. As the fyrste abuse crepte in to sette oute their Children to Nurse so consequently followed the seconde not to respect the nature of the Nurse But let vs go forwarde to shew the occasions of y e difference betweene the fathers and the children holding for certayne that the principall proceedeth as we haue already sayde of the difference betweene the nature of che childe and the seate and trade of life he is set to And therefore I say that it is not ynough for the Father to know whereto the Childe is naturallye giuen if afterwardes he indeuour not to make him the waye playne to assist him and carefully to prouyde for all things meete to conduct him safely to the end which he hath proposed to himselfe Another cause of this difference
and reuerently wayting vpon him to be ready at the holding vp of his fynger to execute his commaundementes they thereby take example to doe their duetye lykewyse and not to bee inferioure in obedyence to Seruauntes and Straungers and besides indeuour to be like in deedes to their Father that they maye in tyme to come receiue the lyke reuerence of their Seruauntes as they see their father doeth of his for the Father which giueth an ill example to the chylde in tyme shall be had in contempte by the Chylde and abandoned of him so that he shall neyther receyue succoure of him in his latter dayes nor in his last day that last duty to cloase vp his eyes Besides the father by liuing disorderly and dishonestly manye tymes make a hande of those goods whiche the children shoulde liue by Guaz. That agreeth with this Children many tymes are made for to weepe By reason of the ill rule their fathers did keepe Annib. Yea there are some cases wherein the seelye Infantes which haue not offended are punished for their Fathers faulte And thinking to my selfe that lawe to be too rigorous I asked one daye Mayster Frauncis Beccio the occasion whiche mooued the Emperour Iustinian to sette downe any such seuere lawe and amongest a greate manye reasons which hee aleaged vnto mee this was the cheefe That the Father naturallye fearing the ill of his Children more then of himselfe will the better keepe himself from cōmitting suche offences whereof his children shall beare the punishment whereby we may know that the ill life of the father bringeth to the Children both loffe and shame and that he must not perswade him that it is ynough to giue his children good counsayle vnlesse his deedes bee agreeable thereto for the children respecte not so muche that which the father sayth as that which he doth like as the Crauish somtime did Who his mother telling him that it was very vnseemely for him to go arsewarde as hee die aunswered Doe you leade mee the waye otherwyse and you shall see I will followe you And therefore hee that desyreth to amende his Children muste fyrst amende hymself and by the example of piety charity iustice other vertues make them charitable iust and vertuous and when he shall walke vpright by himselfe hee maye boldlye take vp others for haulting lyke as Dionisius sometyme didde who taking his sonne in a faulte sayde vnto him Haste thou euer seene mee commit the lyke faulte No sayth his Sonne you had no king to your father whereto he replyed Neyther shalt thou haue a king to thy sonne as it fell out in deede for in the ende for his crueltye and Tyranny he was driuen out of his kingdome and was constrayned by necessitie to go rouing vp and downe vntill hee founde meanes to teache children and keepe a schoole Let vs nowe passe to the other occasions of the infortunate conuersation betweene the father and the chylde whereof there are two which now come in my mynd the one is when the father is more then a mother the other when he is more then a father Guaz. Howe meane you that he should be more then a mother Annib. When he is so blinded that he seeth not the imperfections of his childe or if hee see them yet is readye to commende them or to excuse them in such sorte that if his sonne be haughty or harebrained he termeth him couragious if he be base minded he counteth him modest if a prating boye hee will haue him on Gods name to be an Orator and in flattering thus himselfe hee frameth in his imagination the best childe in the worlde with the whiche blindnesse the fathers of one onlye childe are for the moste part stroken I must needes in this place mention vnto you a youth of fyfteene or sixteene yeares of age of a readye witte but otherwise vicious dissolute and lewde of life by the fault of the father and mother who are so farre from correcting him that they dare not so muche as threaten him nor saye anye worde to him whiche maye displease him And I remember when he was fyue or sixe yeres olde if anye tolde them that they muste rebuke him for some faulte whiche he hadde done they would excuse him by and by saying hee was not yet of age to knowe his fault And beeing seuen or eyghte yeeres olde they woulde neuer beate hym nor threaten him doubting leaste through great feare and perturbation of the spirites his blood shoulde bee chaufed and inflamed whereby hee mighte bee cast into an ague No at tenne yeeres old they thought not good to trouble or molest him aleaging that strypes and threates mighte pull downe his courage too muche and take from hym his Noble stomache And though nowe for his naughtye conditions hee bee hated of the whole Towne yet they leaue not to excuse hym styll saying hee must fyrst growe and then after bee wyse and that within these fewe dayes they will sende hym to Schoole where hee shall learne witte I looke nowe when hee shall bee of age to bee hanged on the Gallowes to heare him before the people to laye the fault on his Father and mother and iustlye to curse their foolishe loue and shamefull cockering and sufferaunce attempting as once one didde to teare their Noase or their eares of with his teeth Guaz. Thereby it is seene that a chylde though of neuer so good a witte yet beeing ill broughte vp prooueth too bad but I looked you woulde haue tolde that in the ende hee hadde beaten his Father to make him amendes or that hee had driuen him out of the house as the Serpent was by the Irchin for to giue a childe so greate libertye is to putte weapons into his hand whiche often tymes hee vseth agaynste his parentes but this greate cockering and compassion is proper to the mother who commonlye bringeth vp her chyldren with more tender affection then discretion And there are few to bee seene at this daye whiche by the example of the Spartane women haue the heartes to saye to theire children in deliuering them a Tergate Come no more in my sighte but eyther with this retourning victoryous from the field or vppon this being brought dead out of the fielde but rather goe about to withstand the honourable thoughtes and enterprises of their children and woulde haue them both in countenaunce and conditions like to women Annib. It is a hard matter for a mother to be fond of her children and wise both together Guaz. But the right loue is to beate and correcte them when they shall deserue it and as the Poet sayth The rod doth not make lesse the mothers loue Annib. If the excesse of loue be to be blamed in the mother much more is it to be reproued in the father whose part it is to examine and correct his childrens faultes assuring himselfe that the only way to spyll them is to bee too fond and tender ouer them Guaz. But whiche are those fathers
acceptable a thing as to bee the father of a King whiche thing also aboue all his other actes increased the immortall glory of Charles the fift Annib. Albeit in holy Scripture it be written Giue no authority ouer thee neither to thy sonne neither to a womaÌ„ nor to a brother nor a friend and giue not away thy liuing to another while thou art aliue least thou afterwardes repent it yet there haue been in time past and are at this day many wise fathers which depart both with authoritye and liuing to their children and yet incurre no inconuenience by it mary they doe it in suche sorte that they neyther bring themselues into subiection to them nor into suche case that they are not able to lyue without them * For the inheritance belonging by right vnto the childe when he shall see the father keepe it wholy to himself he doth not only desire to obtaine it but seeketh to recouer it as it were as his due And when he is driuen to stay for it vntill his father be dead he maketh his account he hath it at death his hand not at his fathers hand neuer thanketh him for it Guaz. All the occasions which you haue hytherto rehersed of the disagreemeÌ„t betweene the father and the children arise of the fault of the father now it were well we shoulde see what occasions come by the childes fault Annib. When the father shall deale in such sort that on his part none of those occasions we haue spoken of bee giuen I thinke the child shall haue no cause to be at variance with him and this saying shal haue place that y e sonne for the most part is like vnto the father this other also that the daughter commonly followeth the steppes of the mother but for that there are some children which are vntoward inough without any fault of the father I thinke good that we briefly set downe to the childe a fourme of conuersation with his father so that on his part there may be no occasion of disorder or disagreement giuen Guaz. Though by the discourse already made I haue partly learned how the father ought to behaue himself towards the childe yet I would gladly haue you briefly gather together the cheife points belonging to the father after to discend to the duties of the childe as you haue now made offer to doe Annib. I wil do so first I giue the father to vnderstand that there is nothing in this worlde wherein there ought more care and diligence to be bestowed then in the nurture and education of children for thereof proceedeth for the most part the maintenance or the decay of houses That he begin betime to furnish their tender mindes with the feare and knowledge of God of iustice and truth and with vertue good conditions in such sort that they learne to liue as if they were stil at the point to dye That he indeuour to keepe them in obedience rather by loue then by feare and to cause them to do well rather of their owne accord then by others inforcement for it is vnseemely for one that is free to liue in bondage neither is feare any good keeper of vertue That in teaching them he rather dally with them then terrifie them for no art or dysciplyne stycketh in the mynde firmely whiche is driuen into it forcibly That howe forwarde soeuer they be yet that he cease not to incourage and pricke them forwarde knowing that there is no horse but needeth the spurre That he suffer them not to be idle but to inure them to labour whereby they may be able to indure labour as Milo was able to carry a bull bicause he vsed to carry hym a calfe That he enter not into rages with his children for a good father vseth wisdome in steade of anger and awardeth a smal punishment to a great fault and yet is not so foolishe pitifull altogether to pardon it knowing that as by sparing the rod he may seeme to hate his childe so by wearing it the much he may abate his courage and make him dull and desperate That hee prouide them of good maysters and gouernoures continually to attend them for young children must be propped vp like yong trees least the tempest of vices either breake them or bowe them crooked That hee suffer them not in any wyse to haunt the company of seruantes and of the base sort of whom they will get suche corrupt speeches and naughty conditiones as they will neuer after forget That he bee carefull to marke in their childehood to what kynde of life they are naturally inclined that he may diligently sette them to it for an vntoward beginning hath euer an vnlucky ending That he teach theÌ„ to gouern theÌ„selues w t the bridle the spur y t is with shame in dishonest thinges and desire of glory in good thinges That without iust occasion he vse no partialitie amongst his children vnles he be willing to set them together by the eares That in all his doings he shew himselfe graue and modest and by doing well himselfe giue his children an example to do the like remembring how shamefull a thing it is that he should be defiled with vyce of whom others should take example of vertue That in his old age when his sonnes are men growne through couetousnes he withhold not from them reasonable stipends to liue by but deale so with them that they may thinke they inioye their patrimony no lesse in his life time then if he were dead otherwise in stead of honouring him they wil wish him buried Finally that he be so carefull ouer his children that at his death he feele not his conscience charged in hauing to make accounte for his negligence in their behalfe perswading himselfe that amongest all the abuses of the world resited by an excellent authour in this sort A wise manne without workes an old man without religion a yong man without obedience a rich man without charity a woman without honesty a maister without vertue a Christian contentious a poore man proud a King vniust there is none worse then a negligent father And therefore being mouâ—e by nature pricked in conscience and bound in honour and honesty to cast a care for his children let hym not in 〈◊〉 wise cast of that care but follow the example of good Aeneas His sonne Ascanius was his only care Guaz. I pray you now that for your greater ease you wil likewise breifely comprehend the duty of the child Annib. If the childe consider wel the great and extreame loue of the father towardes him there shoulde neede no fourme of conuersation to be prescribed vnto him for that consideration would containe him in his duty and make him conforme himselfe to the will and pleasure of his father in all thinges I could bring many examples of pittifull fathers who vpon some mishap befalleÌ„ to their children haue shewed their excessiue loue eyther by voluntary death or by some other dolorous
that if their wife should vse it they would wind her neck behind her like a chicken I knowe not which of these two sortes are the veriest fooles the one for liking that which is euill the other for disliking that which is good Guaz. In truth I cannot thinke well of such women and I make account that as their colours are faygned so also is their hart and affection so that there is not to be looked for at their handes any pure or faythfull good will It is to be thought that loue being naked loueth none of this counterfayte disguising wherevpon our Gentle Tuscane to nippe those women which are curious in such follies and to giue a singuler commendation to madame Laure termeth her bewty naturall Annib. We will maintayne then that a woman taking away changing y e coolour and complexion which God hath giuen her taketh vnto her that which belongeth to a harlot And as y t which is naturall is the worke of God so y t which is counterfaite is the doing of the diuel yet I must say that this art is not so generally to be condemned but that it is in some cases to be tollerated for if it be permitted to a man to seeke remedy to take away some wart moale spot or suche like disgrace cōming by chaunce by much more reasō ought it to be allowed to a womā to correct by art any imperfectiō either natural or casuall appearing in her face Wherfore we wil allow it lawful for a womā to redresse any thing y t is amis about her by art so y t she be necessarily driuen thereto either by some indisposition of her body or for the conseruation of her femenine state prouided it be done so slightly so discretely that the artificial dealing be not seene or beeing seene that it be not misliked And for so muche as wee are agreed that a wife is to be chosen neither to faire nor to foule it is best we passe farther and from henceforth indowe a Wife with that dowrye whiche maye make the mariage firme and sure Fyrste wee are to reprooue the abuse of men who in choosing a Wife vse no other order then they doe in buying a Horse for the buyer will bee sure to prye into euerye parte whether hee bee sounde of winde and limme whether he be without cracke or flawe whether he be yong and of good stature whether he be well paced and haue those outwarde markes which betoken a good Horse I denye not but by the lookes of a Woman a man maye gather somewhat of her disposition but seing God hath commaunded vs not to iudge by the face we must vse a more certayne and commodious way Guaz. I haue alwayes liked of those mariages which are treated of freely without hiding any thing which after cōming to light bringeth greefe repentaunce to one of y e parties but neither men nor women vse that order indeuouring so much as they may to couer their faultes as wel of y e body as the minde by the example of the painter who being to draw a one eyed Gentlemā would not draw his whole fate but represented him in suche sorte that the defectuous parte was not perceiued Annib. The Philosopher Crates did not so who beeing requested in mariage by a vertuous and honest womā went before her and thinking to himselfe that she was ignorante that he was crookte backt lame and poore he put me of his cloake and layde it downe by his staffe and his wallet and after protested vnto her that his wealth and his bewty was euen such as she saw and that she should consider well of it that she might not after haue cause to repent her bargayne but she for all this accepted the party saying that she could not possibly haue a husbande more riche or bewtifull then him Guaz. Now I pray you go to that poynt which you promised whereby husbandes may deale surely in the choyse of wyues Annib. I will shew it you by the authoritie of Olympias the mother of Alexander whose saying worthy to be written in letters of Golde was that women are to be married with the eares before they are with the eyes for the custom of our countrey not permitting men to haue free accesse to the houses where the maydes to be married are not to intertayne them with familier deuice as the fashion in Fraunce and other places is we ought at least to deale in such sort that out of the mouth of diuers constant report may come to our eares of the parentage and of the life and behauyour of them but the greedinesse of the worlde is so great at this day that men seeke diligently for Asses Oxen and Horse of a good race but a man careth not though his wife bee ill brought vp and worse borne so that she be rich ynough but he that is wise will aboue all thinges haue a speciall regard of the conditions and qualities of his wife and will note what the life and conuersation of her parentes is and hath bene remembring the saying that the Eagle breedeth not the Pigeon but that Cat will after kynde And verily it is a very rare matter to see children treade out of the path of their parentes and predecessoures yea I am sure you canne call to your remembraunce families where are to be seene by succession in the Nephewes and children the rootes of couetousnesse beastlinesse foolishnesse dronkennesse or such other faultes wherewith their parentes before them were spotted whereby the Prouerbe is verified that an ill byrde layeth an ill egge as on the other side it is sieldome seene that a good tree bringeth forth ill fruites Guaz. I cannot hold with your opinyon in this for dayly experience sheweth that that rule fayleth often that I may not say is false alway if you search the auncient histories you will in a manner say that nature doth not her parte for you shall finde that many vertuous men haue been begotten by vyle and foolishe fathers and contrariwise that many good and wise fathers haue gotten foolish and naughty children And if we may beleeue thinges present doe wee not see and know many very honest womē who haue very dishonest harlots to their daughters wherefore we maye assure our selues that in mariage fortune beareth more sway then wisedome and that it suffiseth without beeing so curious to crosse ones self and so to be lead blindfolde to this bargayne Annib. The doubt which you haue put no doubt is great and worthy your wit but though it cannot bee denyed but that good Parentes may sometyme haue children of naughty nature so that as you say my rule holdeth not yet some say further y t it alway falleth out that a good Father getteth a naughty child whiche agreeth with the saying That the children of Princes and rulers are sieldome of such perfection as others and yet they will not haue Nature in the faulte but affirme contrarily that nature doth not her