shall be 〈◊〉 thine heart And thou shalt teach them unto thâ— Children c. And in cap. 32.46 He says Sâ—â— your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day which you shall command your Children to observe to do Let your Deportment toward them be such as may procure them to fear respect and love you and so soon as they comâ— to the Years of any Understanding mind you Engagements at their being Baptised and in discharge thereof hold forth to them the Obligation you did then come under and take theâ— solemnly and expresly bound to the performance of their Part and as their Capacities wâ—â— admit instruct them so far as you can in every part of their Duty God-ward curb in them every tendency to evil such as Lying Swearing Sabbath-breaking and what else their Corruption derived from you makes them prone to commit and as you are whilst they do well to be familiarly affection at towards them so far as is consistent with the reverential Aw they ought to have of you even so as you respect their Well-being here or to Eternity forbear not Reproof and Chastisement when their Carriage calls for it A Parent would justly be contemned that should suffer his Child to die for Hunger whilst he were able by any thing within his power to prevent it and unexpressibly more is that Parent to be abominate who does not by suitable and fatherly Correction and all Instruction within his power prevent his Child 's not only dying but suffering the extremity of Torments to all Eternity Forbear Chastising whilst you are in Passion and much more ought you to beware of doing it only to satisfie Passion but have ye the glory of God in your Child 's wel-doing as your Aim 66. If it shall please God you live with your Children whilst they be marriageable and Occasions offer for their entering into that state of Life I intreat you let it be done with a prospect to their eternal wel-being I have my self observed what I consider much to be lamented that persons whom I judge truly serious in the ways of God are too usually but little tender of their matching their Children suitable and with respect to their eternal Salvation how seldom doth it happen that a Youth albeit prophane if he have Riches and what the World foolishly considers Credit and Honour is refused any Young-woman in marriage surely there can be no Action less consistent with Reason then Parents so disposing of their Children and they will at that Great Day of God's judging Sinners then perceive it had been their Interest rather to have matched them with the meanest Mechanick of honest Qualifications and a Christian Walk Endeavour in your Childrens being setled in Marriage that it be with such as may be Helps and Inducements to their Duty God-ward and above all things and in the first place be satisfied in that so far as is within your power 67. As your Children are not of themselves to enter into that State against or without your consent so as a Parent you are to be reasonable in your Grounds for refusing it and in their Marriage it is your Duty to advise direct and hinder if you see it necessar but altogether forbear pressing them to marry where their own Inclinations do's not freely go along 68. When they are to go out of your Family and enter themselves into any other condition of Life endeavour by good Advice to fit and direct them for what is to be their Duty and above all things press their depending upon God for strength without which it is impossible for them to do well If they shall go from you to their own or any other Family by Marriage instruct them in the Duties suitable to their Station If Sons exhort them to what I have hinted in this my Advice to you and enlarge therein as you will find sufficient Ground so to do And if Daughters be assisting to them in your Directions for their Carriage in what is required of them under that Relation 69. Their end and manner of entering to it would be with an entire respect to the Glory of God and when in it their Charge is indeed great whatever is the Husbands duty she at least in his absence is to supply his place and her fidelity care and sincere love and affection to her Husband is to appear in all her Actions she would by her not gading abroad and a modest quiet and discreet Carriage whilst at home evidence her firm Resolution to the discharge of her Duty Solomon in Prov. 7.11 12. Tells you the Carriage of a Naughty Woman She is loud and stubborn her feet abide not in her house Now is she without now in the streets c. And in Tit. 2.4 5. The Apostle presses Women may be sober love their Husbands love their Children And that they be Discreet keepers at home Good obedient to their own Husbands c. And as there is Business that do's more properly belong to a Husband so there is that the Wife is almost only concerned 〈◊〉 such as the Care and Oversight of almost all within Doors and particularly of the Education and Up-bringing of Children whilst young when they come to the World It is apparent that Nature by giving to Mothers Breasts and Milk fitted for their Nourishment has intended their discharging that Duty I am indeed sensible that sometimes the want of ability or necessary Diversion in other Affairs and other Accidents occurring may hinder in which Cases it is Duty to forbear but it is much to be feared that too many without just Ground puts off the nursing of their Children to their great Inconvenience It might be Argued that the nature of that Nourishment may influence the Humour and Temper of the Child and it is uncontravertedly true that it is a real Cause for a more firm Bond of Affection betwixt Children and Parents and surely it is very pleasant to see Mothers of whatever Quality when there is fitness and ability for that Duty discharging it And when Children comes to any Years of Discretion the Wife is Joyntly concern'd with the Husband in their Instruction 70. What servants you need and are fitting for you in your Station make choice of them having in the first place a respect to God's being served by them in your Family and what ever be the qualifications and fitness of any servant for any worldly Concern if they be notoriously wicked or you be satisfied that they will not concur to worship God in your Family let no worldly Consideration procure your entertaining them I shall not say that you admit of none but such as are Gracious but be sure they be such as are not known to be wicked and when they come into your Society let it be your care that they know their Duty God-ward and practise it As their Master you are not only to provide for their suitable Maintenance and to give them what is
the trouble of giving any particular account the Erratâ— I expect that not only the Epistle recommending the reading these Sheets but thy own perusal will satisfie that thy time in reading and the 〈◊〉 of this small â—â—â—k shall not be thrown away and now whilst they are printing there is come to my hand six Letters from a Gentleman to his Neighbour which albeit the Author of either the Advice or Letters be unknown to me yet I apprehend both to be done by one hand and since the Subject can give offence to none and the consideration thereof may be useful to stir up Gentlemen and others to Correspondence of that nature and may besides the diversion in reading thereof be helpful for direction in some Occurrences I presume their adding to the bulk of this little Book will not be grudged at I have some Information there are more of this kind written if they come to my hand before the impression be finished and be such as these are they shall be added and I have confidence my doing thereof will not be resented Sir MY yielding to your Inclination to have what I wrote as advice to my Son published might justly be repute censurable and an Action not only conceitedly foolish but impudent yea it might be thought strange that any of my Capacity and Literature should allow any thing written by themselves be design'd for publick perusal What I did therein to my Son was not from any sense of his wanting in many books which may be easily had better and more pertinent Directions tending to his temporal and eternal Well-being then it was possible for me to give him but having at sometimes as the Actions of others and my own have given me occasion observed what I thought to be Duty or reprehendible therein I did consider thereupon and thought my particular directing thereof to him might be to his Advantage not because of any Excellency therein but that it being from his Father and written to himself he might be induced to the more serious and profitable perusal thereof for I have often observed that in hearing the Word preached or having other publick Means of Instruction every one is apt to hear or read of Duties pressed as if they were the concernment of their Neighbour and not their own which has made me much prize Ministers diligence in visiting Families and Catechising what being at these occasions spoken to poor people they do usuall more seriously attend thereunto it is like you caâ— not upon perusing it again but see how unreasonable and unnecessary your desire is and be sensiblâ— that its uncorrectness would make you ashamâ—â— to own an Interest therein nor do I know aâ—â— thing could be an Argument for printing thereâ— except that the Advices therein having asâ— shall acknowledge some Endeavours to perswaâ—â— to at lest some Duties doth come from one uâ—â— fitted many ways for doing thereof for somâ— times what of this nature is pertinently pressed 〈◊〉 any judicious and learned Minister of the Gospeâ—â— or any else otherwise of known Parts is hearâ—â— but cursorly whereas something of the sanâ—â— Nature coming from one not expected it mâ—â— occasion a particular Reflection and thereby oâ—â— lige the Hearers to apply it to themselves I haâ—â— since I had your desire read it over agaiâ—â— but with little intention of bettering it not thâ— I am insensible of its need to be corrected foâ— think I have never at any time read it over any part thereof but I saw in it Incohesion waâ— of Grammar and much Uncorrectness and â—â—ving upon pieces of Paper at several times as tâ—â— Subject hath occurred written it to be of soâ—â— use to my Children the Directions therein aâ—â— not Methodically set down and being withoâ—â— consideration of what I had already done as tâ—â— Matter thereof hath occurr'd to me not withoâ—â— Repetitions and will make obvious to any judâ—â—cious Reader the foolish Arrogance of pretenâ—â—ing any thing so written for publick reading aâ—â— sometimes my Pen beyond what was competeâ—â—â— to me or it may be what might be much useâ—â— to my Children hath run out upon some Subject and in Taxing of some Professions but aâ— the full and overflowing sense of their Practice led me to it so it yet makes me wish that these in a Capacity to do it would not only hold forth but by suitable Means prevent Practises so much prejudicial to Society I do confess that the smallest of books when done with seriousness pressing Duty are most useful for seldom are books of any Bulk read over and I could wish some fitted for that Work would do something in such Terms as might engage to the reading thereof not that there is want of abundance of books of that nature but the Novelty and Succinctness of what might be pressed would be helpful to induce to a serious perusal There is indeed great need of suitable Directions against our selfish sinful Inclinations for it is obvious that self is the Devil 's great Engine to destroy Soul and Body yea Covetousness and almost every other Vice proceeds from that Root and as the Devil and Corruption within us makes every vitious Habite to have some appearance either of its being necessar or of the Vertue that is most opposite thereto so the Covetous are apt to construct their Actions only to be frugal it is true being careless of what Providence trysts us with or Lavish or Exorbitant in using thereof is not only against the Command of God but is often accompanied with an otherwise sinful and vitious Life yet are the Covetous as grosly Faulty and the Holy Spirit of God in the Scriptures doth plainly declare his Abhorrence thereof I could wish some Pen fitted for that Work would direct Mankind particularly and succinctly to understand the true middle betwixt these Extrems and let them see that as unconcerned and prodigal spending is very unallowable so is anxious caring for things of this World and the love thereof as much so for the Generality do's satisfy themselves in this that if they seek after but what is their own and that by no unlawful worldly Means which is a length the most part comes not to they apprehend not the inconveuiency of doing it with too much intentness not that any can be too careful in their lawful Calling if it encroach not upon their other Duties but where either the having or losing of Money or any worldly Goods does further influence us then the procuring our valuing them not so much for their own worth as that they come from God to be used at his Direction it is surely unallowable and when they are lost we are not to grieve for the want thereof but to search our ways and to acknowledge our sins as the true cause of every cross Dispensation that befalls us and neither to rejoyce in the having of temporal Goods but as they are the marks of his love nor to be concern'd at the loss or want thereof
plainly holds forth the duty of Christians in their whole life is uncontravertedâ— clear from the Scriptures and all Debates 〈◊〉 religious matters that have not the alone prospect of bettering and advancing of Knowledge are certainly not allowable And as your heartâ— all times ought to be over-filled with true love 〈◊〉 God and such as bears his Image so especially be respective to the Ministers of the Gospel being Ambassadors for Christ and Administrator of the Ordinances appointed by him in the Neâ—â— Testament as the Apostle enjoyns 1 Thes 5 1â—â— I beseech you brethren mark them which labour amongst you and are over you in the Lord and adminish you and esteem them very highly in Love for the works sake And let not the infirmities of any 〈◊〉 them procure in your heart any disrespect to thâ—â— holy Calling But mind what the same Apostle saith 2 Cor. 4.7 That we have this Treasure in earth en Vessels that the exeellency of the power may be 〈◊〉 God and not of us 13. As you are to have a Pity and Love eveâ— towards such as altogether wants Religion 〈◊〉 worships God not truly as he hath appointed 〈◊〉 his Word so ye would altogether avoid the least of Animosity with such as with Charity 〈◊〉 may judge differs only anent Church-government or any thing else not inconsistent with the salvation of their Souls not doubting but ye will sinâ— at the day of Judgment that the many Niceitieâ— which a great part do but too much concern themselves in are the effects of want of Charit and a gospel Frame and disposition of heart 14. The wickedness of our hearts is such as doth altogether unfit for the doing of Duty Have we any prosperity in the enjoyment of health or any thing desireable in the world we are seldom or never in a frame for rightly acknowledging God for his Mercies and improving them to the end of our having thereof And if Providence tryst our being crossed in what is delightful to us how ready are we to dejection of mind and what does unfit for Duty let every Dispensation of God to you-ward lead you to the consideration of failings in your bypast life and stir you up to a suitable walk under what you are trysted with Endeavour an equality of Temper in all your ways if Dispensations any ways prosperous be your Lot consider you have them from God and humbly acknowledge his Mercy in what ever you meet with and if what is more cross befal you repine not thereat but mind that the worst of Conditions is above your desert Seek of him with earnestness that you may truly learn his holy Will in all his Dispensations and in Prosperity or Adversity let all your care be to know what ye are called to as Duty and to endeavour with diligence the doing thereof even in things relating to this life then with chearful Submission leave the event of all your concerns to God who is wonderful in goodness to such as fear and trust in him 15. When the Lords day is come remember to keep it holy as God has expresly appointed in his 4th Command And in order thereto prepare your Heart for the Duties thereof before it approach for however a great many in this Age may contravert the Morality of that Precept for the due observation of the Sabbath yet may you be satisfied with what is fully held forth by I may say all the most serious and godly of Divines that it is from the Practise noâ— only of the Primitive Church being the mospure of Christians but even of the Appostles whâ— were immediately inspired of God and whose Example we are bound to follow And as the due Observance of the Sabbath under the Law was enjoyned under the certification of greâ—â— wrath from God as in Nehemiah 13. cap. v. 17. and 18. What evil is this that ye do and prophaâ—â— the Sabbath did not your Fathers thus and did 〈◊〉 our God bring all this evil upon us and upon this Câ—ty yet ye bring more wrath upon Israel by profanity the Sabbath So the Promises to the doing there of were great as in Isa 56.2 Blessed is the mâ—â— that doth this and the son of man that layeth holdâ—â— it that keepeth the Sabbath from polluting it Aâ—â— 58.13 14. If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath and from doing thy pleasure on my holy day aâ—â— call the Sabbath of the Lord a delight the holy of the Lord honourable and shalt honour him not finding thiâ—â— own pleasure nor speaking thine own words then shaâ—â— thou delight thy self in the Lord and I will cause thâ—â— to ride upon the high places of the earth and feed the with the heretage of Jacob thy father for the mouâ—â— of the Lord hath spoken it Yea not only from History the judgments of God upon Sabbath-breakers are manifest but such as are of small Experience may evidently perceive the dreadful consequences thereof in the confession of almost all Malefactors that comes to publick Execution It is trâ—â— such as are pleased to have no respect to the dâ— Observation of the Sabbath and to object againâ— the obligation upon Christians for keeping it holy doth answer to that of its being so generally confessed by dying Penitents that the same flows but from their Education and its being inculcat in them to be so sinful but what answer will such I may say prophane Wretches give to this so palpable Evidence of God's displeasure with the profanation of that Day that He in his over-ruling Providence often permits notorious Breakers of the Sabbath to fall in such sins as even brings them to open and shameful Punishment in this World And albeit the ways of God's Providence are not to be fathomed and gross Sinners of every kind do's in things relating to this life Die without any appearing Marks of God's displeasure which may fully satisfie all rational Persons that there is a Judgment to come so the temporal Calamities sometimes trysting Sinners in this World are an Earnest of what shall be Dispensed at that dreadful Day to such and it may plainly appear to you that the Cavilling against the Obligations for keeping Holy the Sabbath of our Lord is of the Devil being that only such as want tenderness of Conscience and Love not to live in any thing according to the Rules of the Gospel do thus declare themselves whereas Persons whose hearts are God-ward however their Frailty may hinder the due performance of their Duty are ever ready to acknowledge their Obligation to the observation of that Day to be kept a Sabbath Holy to the Lord. Yea Sir Matthew Hale late L. Chief Justice of England whose Memory is Savoury to all good men that knew or heard of him in his Directions to his Children for keeping the Lords Day doth press it upon them for several Reasons and in one whereof he saith because I have found by long and sound Experience that the due observance of that
Souls eternal Interest and Well-being accustome your self to Truth in every circumstance of your Speech and Actions for as Lying is so obviously hateful to every person but pretending to Honour and Honesty so it is abominable to God Prov. 12.22 Lying lips are abomination to the Lord and a Lye being in the mouth of any Person does prognosticate the Devils being in the heart for lying may properly be said to be his Language he being the father of Lyes And ye find in the 22. Rev 15. such to be debarred from the new Jerusalem as loveth and maketh a lye 32. As you are to abominat that dishonourable Vice of Lying so ye would forbear what has any likelyhood to or appearance thereof Beware of reporting Stories having any thing of incredulity in them since you may thereby soon procure to your self such a Stain of dishonour as even your after-life albeit of great prudence and veracity will with difficulty delet I hope my confidence in your being nothing inclined to this Vice shall not deceive me and I give you this Caution lest by unnecessar reporting of Truths which has any appearance of impossibility you begin to weaken your Credit for I think any at least whilst they are entering upon the World and whil'st their Solidity and Veracity be nottour should be cautious they do not in Discourse or otherwise what may have a tendency to weaken their Reputation 33. Being talkative and a love to Discourse much has many inconveniencies attending it and however some persons truly of Worth may be inclined thereto yet has it ever to me most usually proclaimed their folly Whil'st ye are in company of any Superior it will be Wisdom to speak but when required unless it be with modesty in few and apposite Words to evidence some desire or seek to be resolved of some Question and in all Companies whatsoever shun the taking upon you of much Discourse as what is not only Nauseating but often in the abundance thereof is something said which the Speaker or such as is concerned in him would heartily wish were not said And Solomon in the 10. Prov. 19. Holdeth forth to you that in the multitude of Words there wanteth not sin but he that refraineth his Lips is wise And the 17.28 Even a fool when he holdeth his peace is counted wise and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a a man of understanding 34. I have told you ye are to evite Idleness and so live as to be useful in your Station and that you may continue the more fitted for so doing Recreation both to Body and Mind is necessary but your Care must be that it be allowable both in Quality and Quantity Let it be what is suitable to persons in your Station and by not exceeding in the use thereof free your self from that too epidemick Fault of making Recreation as if it were your Calling Surely it is most irrational that men should so little value precious time as the most of their Thoughts should be how they shall cheat themselves of what they would find to be Irrecoverable and for which to have it redeemed from the Wickedness and Folly of our vain way of living would willingly be given all within the power of wretched Man Forbear such Recreations as may be sinful or offensive I shall not determine anent the lawfulness of Games wherein there is Lottorie knowing that some good Men have allowed thereof but many are of the Opinion of their being unlawful and since you may have suitable Diversions without using such it is surely safest to forbear And it is evident that the playing at Cards and Dice from which I absolutely disswade you is obviously accompanied with such sinful Inconveniencies as the advantage of the Recreation of your whole life will be dearly bought by any part thereof I shall not say but it is possible to use that Diversion with moderation yet seldom are Youth enabled so to do and to me it is not the least Argument against that and some other Games there being not much allowable that there is not only upon the most of persons using them a kind of bewitching Inclination to the frequent doing thereof but often are these given up to their immoderate use so far deserted of God as they are otherways in their conversation Offensive Yea I may say there are not many that uses them without what is very sinful for if they be not as the most are tempted to Swear and Curse do they not at the best in the practice of that Exercise evidence such an intent and serious diversion of mind as is inconsistent with Recreation and disables from Duty 35. As you would not do what is offensive to all good Men and above all sinful in the sight of God frequent not wicked and sinful Company let not their complacency or any other inducement from their Converse overcome you for the Frailty of man is most likely to prevail under the temptation of evil Company I intreat your ordinar converse be with such as may rather further than hinder you in the ways of Godliness and endeavour to frequent such Company as you would desire to be found with at the day of Death or your appearance before God's Tribunal You find by Psal 119.63 That David was a Companion of all them that did fear God and did keep His Precepts And Solomon in Prov. 28.7 Telleth that who so keepeth the Law is a wise Son but he that is a Companion of riotous Men shameth his Father I acknowledge whilst men are in the World it may be said to be impossible to be altogether out of the Company of the Prophane but let it be evident from your whole Conversation that your delight is not in any such Fellowship for undoubtedly a young man's frequenting evil Company is an Evident and undenyable Demonstration of his beginning to be such as the Company he keeps if he be not already come their height 36. Having in what I have written minted at directing you in some things that hath relation to your self in the discharge of your Duty God-ward and in the beginning thereof urged your making conscience of Prayer Yet such is the unvaluable Gift of God in allowing Sinners to come to Him as I shall before I say any thing to you that concerns your Duty to your Neighbour again intreat your Diligence in drawing near to him which you must do in Faith under a sense of your very many Wants your great Unworthiness and apprehending and taking up God as able to help dreadful in his Justice yet wonderful in Mercy and accessible to lost Sinners in Jesus Christ and as we are called in whatever we do to consider aright the motive to and the manner of our doing Duty so I desire it may be your care to prevent your Guilt in either of these Your motives to Duty would be allowable in His sight who not only allows of but requires our concernment in our selves and others which may
infinite in Power and all his other Attributes to be our Pay-master and as there are in very many Parts of the Scriptures holden forth the great advantages of this Duty so also there are therein correspondently grievous Punishments denounced against the Transgressors thereof as in Jam. 2.13 He shall have Judgement without Mercy that sheweth no Mercy and Job 20.18 19. That which he laboureth for he shall restore and shall not swallow it down according to his Substance shall the Restitution be and he shall not rejoyce therein because he hath oppressed and forsaken the Poor You see here this Judgement is denounced not only because he hath unjustly oppressed but because he hath uncharitably forsaken the Poor And as your Charity must be with a full heart extended to all in Want so especially to such who can be judged to have an Interest in our Blessed Lord for in the Gospel it is plain the value our Saviour puts upon this Duty by telling us in Mat. 25.35 That the Blessed of His Father would be such as gave Him meat when he was hungry and drink when thirsty c. And that on the contrare these doing otherwise would be found to be the Cursed of God on the left hand and He plainly declares what is done to his Poor ones to be as done to Himself But mind in this or whatever duty ye go about that Applause from men or any other self-end have no weight with you and that all that is possible for you to perform is unexpressibly short of meriting in the sight of God 40. Endeavour with discretion and as you have access without an officious and undiscreet obtruding your self to make your neighbour perceive the Error of his Conduct and if your Knowledge and Opportunity enable you to the doing any thing for the good of his Soul lay hold upon the occasion with all cheerfulness 41. Beware of Oppression yea of the least of Injustice to your Neighbour in his Goods or otherways especially the Poor or such as may be unable to defend themselves for the grievousness of that Sin is manifestly held forth in Scripture and many are the Precepts expresly discharging it The Prophet Zechar 7 10. Requires that the Widow the Fatherless the Stranger and the Poor be not oppressed and that none imagine evil against his Brother in his heart And the Prophet Malach. denunceth Judgments and declareth God will be a swift Witness against the Sorcerers and against the Adulterers and false Swearers and against these that oppress the Hireling in his Wages the Widow and the Fatherless and that turn aside the Stranger from his Right and fear not me saith the Lord of Hosts Yea our blessed and everliving God does so far take the poor under his protection as he says Prov. 14.31 He that oppresseth the Poor reproacheth his Maker but he that honoureth him bath mercy on the poor And he is said in the 23 Prov. 11. To be their mighty Reedeâ—â—ner and that he will plead their Cause with their Oppressors 42. I have confidence I need nothing diswade your stealing or taking unjustly what is not your own and shall only tell you that you be careful that the Right to what you have be suelâ— as not only secures from a civil Inconveniency but so as ye may be found in the sight of God to have a just Title thereto of which ye would be very circumspect for every person is too ready in in any debatable Matter to determine to his own Advantage Yea if you shall find any thing that is lost your retaining and not restoring it to the Owners if possible they can come to your knowledge does directly break the eighth Command and where the Owner cannot be found you are to consider the Poor the Proprietar thereof and dispose of it or it's Avail to such as truly are in want 43. I have hinted something to you of the inconveniency of Detraction it is a Crime albeit amongst the Basest yet very ordinary with many persons and it is palpably observable that the most of People does evidence a delight in telling and devuâ—ging the Faults of others which directly speaks their being in so far of the Devil and not of God for Satan endeavours and delights in the death of Sinners But our blessed Lord has said that he takes no pleasure therein do not you from any finistruous design enquire into the Actings of your Neighbour and thereby evite what is but too ordâ—â—ar that custom of enquiring us News or for diversion at idle Hours what is the Carriage of 〈◊〉 Neighbours in their private Concerns I am sensible it may be in some persons their Duty so to do but then the end therein is sincerely Gods Glory in their Neighbours welfare and such will be far from receiving a Report to the prejudice of any with the least of Satisfaction or at all to divulge it but as a necessar Mean to reach the end for which they enquire after it It is indeed a wonderful and irrefragable Evidence of the intire Corruption and Depravation of the Nature of Mankind that we should delight in evil without any imaginable prospect of Satisfaction or Advantage to our selves or others whereof this Practice is an instance And it is but too frequent for without much noticing it may be observed in almost all Companies that the Faults and Infirmities of others are oftner and with greater pleasure discoursed upon than any thing tending to their Advantage It is true almost all Mankind has more of what is Foolish and Sinful in their Carriage than what can be spoken of to their Commendation Yet I tell you it is your Duty in discretion as a Neighbour and above all as a Christian in the sight of God to refrain from the speaking to the prejudice of any and where you cannot with truth speak to their Advantage let your silence evidence that you have a sense of its being Duty neither to enquire into or speak of the Failings of others unless called thereto by your Station and therein sincerly designing God's Glory in your Neighbours well-being 44. As I do intreat ye may foresee the great 〈…〉 in bringing your self under Debt 〈…〉 any of Ingenuitie there can be no greater worldly Trouble especially where they are not able to â—â—tifie the just desires of these to whom they are indue So if Providence shall tryst your being engaged let it be your greatest worldly Satisfaction to discharge your self thereof and freely to give when it is required even to every person you are indue to but especially to such as cannot subsist with the want thereof I beseech you let not the Hire of the Servant or Labourer be in your hand when they need it for severe is the Curse pronounced against the Withholders thereof and consider no kind of Goods to be the Propriety of your self or Children as coming from you so long as you are Debitor to any person and that all you have in the first place is
to her after his Death at which time the Law allows her only what she has thereby a right to to be as if with his one hand he should give it to the other for Man and Wife whilst they live ought to have no distinct propriety in Goods and your care of her ought in every thing to be as it should be in relation to your self As I have said to you one great end of your entering into that state of Life ought to be your being encouraged in your Duty God-ward in order thereto watch over one another and with Meekness and Affection hold forth to others your Failings whatever they be Accustom your self to the patient bearing of one anothers Infirmities Be often in Prayer together and at such times and a-part let it be your earnest request to God that He for Christ's sake would enable you to the mutual Duties required 59. If ye be blessed with Children receive them from God as Blessings and solemnly return and devote them again to his Service When they are to be Baptized as you are to engage to their Education in God's fear so let these times be Opportunities of your renewing your own baptismal Engagements and with a willing Heart give up to God your self your Children and what ever is yours As a Parent you are expresly bound to provide for your Children in this World but especially to all Eternity your care is to commence from the time of their being in the Womb and what is suitable for them in your Station is to be provided for them in all tenderness and affection yet let not your indulgent Care destroy Soul â—or Bodie Be careful of the means of their convenient Subsistance but beware of what is hurtful to the Child or tending to Vanity and being sinful in the sight of God Often does Parents indulgence in pampering Children as directly destroy their Bodies as if they did out their Throats Wherefore I advise their Dyet to be of such common Food as is suitable to persons in your Station and never press their eating but give moderatly when their Appetite requires for sure I am the death of Thousands of Children is hastened and procured by Unseasonable Intemperate and Unwholsome Feeding where one for the Thousand suffers death by Want and Hunger 60. Endeavour their Knowledge in Learning as what will more fit them for any Condition of Life they may be called to Be sure they be acquaint with doing what may keep them from Idleness and make them useful Members of the Society they live in 61. The usual Imployments for Male-children besides what is Mechanicks are the profession of Law Physick and Merchandise You would in some measure from their own Inclination let them make choice of their manner of Living and endeavour to hold forth to them the many Snares that attends them whilst in the World and particularly most incident to persons in the Imployment they are to follow For that of Law I believe since the world was it has been much abused and I think never more against knowledge and light than in thir late Ages I shall be far from thinking but there are persons of great Honour and integrity of that Profession but uncontravertedly the generality of these in it are very corrupt I shall say nothing of Judges but what is too apparent that they do at least many of them beyond what Law allows take upon them the disposal of peoples Proprietie and by the event makes it appear they do it to the hight of Injustice and for Advocats and persons of an Inferior Rank depending upon Judicatories The generality of them are not only corrupt but truly to the hight of Excess therein for the most tender and consciencious of that Imployment some few excepted does little scruple to endeavour the promoting of an injust Action I must confess there are to my knowledge persons of great Honour in that station and it may be said that severals are of that Ingenuity as to signifie to their Client that they ought not â—o insist and that they should in Justice lose their pretences But too seldom does it happen that these in that Profession does absolutely refuse to concur with their Client in the Injustice and if they do not for their own gain with the greatest part stir up and further their Client to what is unjust yet if they be desired and liberally rewarded do they not endeavour at the Bar and otherways so to inveagle the Judge in comprehending any Intricacies in that Action as to oblige him to pronounce a Sentence which they are fully satisfied is as unjust as they are satisfied that the Sun is in the Firmament And as it is surely to be cordially wished that Judges and other in a Capacity would by suitable Rules and other Methods provide against the continuance of that Iniquitie so the only desireable way of reaching that end is the Liedges having such a Sense of the Inconveniences from contending at Law and that both to Soul and Body as may make them by having a Christian and desireable Concord in all their dealing withhold what enables that Society to acquire a great part of the Substance of the Kingdom 62. For that of Physick you would be very cautious in determining your Children to that Profession for next to the Ministry there is no other to which a suitable knowledge is so necessar for in other Imployments a man by his want of Knowledge and Care does for the most part only prejudge himself but an unqualified Professor of Physick or Pharmacy does irrecoverably prejudge his Patient and it is to be feared that Ignorance and Insobriety which is most inconsistent with that Imployment does but too much abound 63. Merchandise has many Snares attending it the Devil and our corrupt Hearts combining together where there is mulciplicity of Business thereby to destroy our Souls and I do truly apprehend there is no little guilt in the common and uncondemned way of dealing in that Imployment and that both by Vender and Buyer in their disingenious Asking and offering what they are conscious to themselves is not the worth of that they deal for And I know no Argument for it but its being as it is but too truly customary But so are many things very grosly sinful And whereas it may be objected the impossibility of dealing in any Trade without following these customary Methods the objecting is a direct saying they believe not in God and his Providence And that he has said Prov. 10.9 He that walketh uprightly walketh surely I can for my self truly say I have been ashamed to offer persons who I was otherways bound to value as ingenuous less than what they asked being satisfied that the asking more than the worth is direct Lying and that my offering less than was asked was indirectly saying you Ly. It is true the Buyer and Vender may differ in point of Judgment and after communing may come to alter their Opinions but it is certain
the Condition of their serving you but you have a Charge of their Souls which if neglected and not repented of you will answer at the day of your appearing before God's Tribunal Your first and great care must be that they serve God and if they so do they will be faithful in their service to you It is very desiderable that the generality of Masters are so little concerned in the Souls of their servants and that they should be so ready to reprehend their omission of Duty in their worldly Concerns and so neglective of putting them to their Duty toward God and rebaking their slighting of what is required of them in their service Endeavour what in you lies by Admonition and otherways that your servants live as suitable Members in a Christian Family and if you cannot procure them so to do disiniss them so soon as you can out of yours David in Psal 101. Promises to God what shall be his Carriage I will walk within my house with a perfect heart I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes I hate the work of them that turn aside it shall not cleave unto me c. And in vers 7. He saith He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house he that telleth lyes shall not tarry in my sight Endeavour that every one in your Family may with quietness go about what they are called to in their Station and prevent Contention and all Clamor and Noise for every ones acting in their several Concerns without Noise and with Discretion is most desirable Noise and too many words having always Confusion attending thereupon and where there is much of the Tongue in Husband or Wife or any within the Family it is easie to conjecture that there is in such persons no great fitness for Action Let your Carriage towards your servants be such as may oblige them to a due Respect to you and to the keeping of that distance which becomes them in their Station yet forbear all churlish and passionat behaviour towards them as the Apostle enjoins Eph. 6.9 forbearing threatning knowing that your Master also is in Heaven neither is there respect of persons with him When they do amiss in any thing reprove them not to satisfie Passion but so reprove and exhort as it may reach the end their amendment be not your self an evil Example to them let your own Actions rebuke them and be assured that no reproof will have weight where the Reprover is guilty of the Fault reproved And when you find a faithful servant respect him as a Friend for it is but just to allow it to him And Solomon Prov. 17.2 Telleth you that such shall have Rule over a Son that causeth shame and shall have part of the Inheritance among the Brethren 71. Your care must be that God may be served by all within your Family apart and joyntly at convenient Seasons be as careful that your Servants do by themselves discharge their duty God-ward Evening and Morning as you are that they do what ye require in your Affairs and if this ye do with a sincere and only design of God's glory you may with confidence expect the greater Success in your own concerns Forget not the worshiping of God in Prayer and Praise joyntly with all your Family and do it at such times as your Family may be most conveniently got together at least pray with them twice a day and at the most convenient time read some part of the Scripture and sing to his Praise I know many does use it at Evening before Supper because after that time Drousiness and unfitness after Meat disables from the performance of the Duty but I advise the time ye pitch upon may be when every one within the Family has liberty of being present and so may joyn in the Worship for I have often considered it unsuitable for some few in a Family to begin or proceed in Worship when others in that Family were acting in their Business and has thought it more decent when the meanest within the Family could attend albeit it should be after their Affairs for that day were ended And as your times for Family-worship ought to be such as all may give Attendance so let your continuance in it be as all may get their hearts brought up with you in the Duty and make not the length of your Prayers or any other part of Family-worship a Snare to these that should joyn with you Be often exhorting all within your Family to their Duty and let them not consider that the having of the Assemblies Catechism in their memory as only Childrens work that little Piece contains the Sum and Principles of Religion and I think is to be prized equally to any thing else written not dictated by the Spirit of God When ye conveen your Family to Worship at some times at least in some short and suitable Exhortation press that their hearts may go out after God in the Duty it being to be feared that all of us are too ready to draw near with our Bodies when we would be ashamed the frame of our hearts were laid open to our Neighbours then which there can be no Action more stupid Brutish and Atheistical for if we foolishly apprehend that God who is surely the Hearer of Prayer does not hear us and know our Heart why do we offer to draw near to Him And if we do consider Him as the Hearer of Prayer and Searcher of Hearts how daring is our Boldness and Wickedness to do it so unsuitably I intreat ye may duely discharge that Duty of worshiping God with your Family for ye find the Prophet Jeremiah 10.25 Ranking Families that call not upon God with the Heathen that are ignorant of him and he prays saying Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not and upon the Families that call not upon thy Name And it has always been the practice of the Godly as you find Joshua 24.15 peremptorlie saying But as for me and my House we will serve the Lord And you have Almighty God in the 18 Gen. 19. giving it as the Reason of his singular respect to Abraham For I know him that he will command his Children and his Houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord c. 72. As at times your Family may be encreased by the repair of Friends and others let that be no ground for your neglecting the publick worshiping of God therein and let your Modest Humble Discreet and serious way of performing it incite to their joyning with you so far as is convenient for you be Hospital and let Strangers of whatsoever quality that may need the accomodation of your house and what you can afford have it with freedom so as may be consistent with your duty to these within your family and with cheerfulness entertain your Relations and Friends for Religion does truly allow of a free and hospitable Converse and such a competent use of every