so they both helping doing their best together may be one perfect bodie 2. It doth greatly increase loue when the one faithfully serueth the other when in things concerning mariage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other and when of all that euer they obtaine or get they haue but one common purse together the one locking vp nothing from the other and also when the one is faithfull to the other in eating drinking and so in all their necessities and affaires Likewise when the one harkneth to the other and when the one thinketh not scorne of the other and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house the one will be counselled and aduised by the other and alwaies the one to bee louing kind curteous plaine and gentle in words maners and deedes 3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious diligent and seruiceable to the other in all other things And this will the sooner come to passe if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall or cannot away withall and what pleaseth or displeaseth them And so from thence-forth to do the one and to leaue the other vndone They must secretly keepe no euill will in their mindes but tell their griefe And if one of them bee angrie and offended with the other then let the partie grieued open and make knowne to the other their griefe in due time and with discretion for the longer a displeasure or euill will rageth in secret the worse will be the discord And this must bee obserued that it bee done in a fit conuenient time because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed it should make greater debate As if the wife should goe about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moued with anger it should then bee no fit time to talke with him 1. Sam. 25.36 37. Therefore Abigail perceiuing Naball her husband to bee drunke would not speake to him vntill the morning Both the husband and wife must remember that the one be not so offended and displeased with the maners of the other 1. Cor. 7.10 11 12 13 14 15 16. Matth. 19.6 Matth. 19.9 5.33 Luke 16.18 that they should thereupon forsake the companie one of the other for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees would therefore forsake the honie And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause except for whoredome which must be duly proued before a lawfull Iudge But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state mariage to God by humble and feruent prayer that he for his beloued sons sake would so blesse them and their mariage that they may so christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement For like as all maner of medicines and speciallie as they that goe nighest death as to cut off whole members c. are very lothsome and terrible euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine but a perilous and terrible medicine Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in mariage that they haue no need of such medicine As the holie Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly as partly may be seene by these quotations 1. King 11.1 2. Prou. 21.9.22.14 and 25.24 and 27.15 Eccles 7.28.30 So contrariwise the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue been deuout religious and vertuous as partly is manifest by that which hath already been said and also by these places of Scripture Ruth 3.11 1. Sam. 25.3 Pro. 14.1 and 31.10 Matt. 28.1.8.9.10 Luk. 8.2.3 23.55.56 and 14.1 Act. 16.14.15 and 1.14 and 17.4 and 9.36.39 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1.5 And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God shal finde that it speaketh of the praise of as many and moe good women as men yea and we are perswaded that if at this day a due suruey shuld bee taken of all men and women throughout her Maiesties dominions that there would bee found in number moe women that are faithful religious and vertuous then men The wife ought to obey her husband in all things that be honest and agreeable to Gods word Now if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband the Apostle resolueth this doubt where he saith Eph. 5.22 saying Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as to the Lord. As if hee had said Wiues cannot bee disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also who is the author of this subiection and that she must regard her husbands will as the Lords will but yet withall as the Lord commandeth one that which is good and right so she should obey her husband in good and right or els she doth not obey him as the Lord but as the tempter The first subiection of the woman began at sinne for when God cursed her for seducing her husband when the Serpent had deceiued her he said He shall haue authoritie ouer thee Genes 3.16 And therefore as the man named all other creatures in signe that they should bee subiect to him as a seruant which commeth when his master calleth him by his name so he did name the woman also Hest 1.20.22 Numb 30.7 8 9. 1. Pet. 3.6 Iudg. 19.26 in token that she should bee subiect to him likewise And therefore Assuerus made a law that euery man should beare rule in his owne house and not the woman Because she sinned first therefore she is humbled most and euer since the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord as Sarah called her husband that is to take them for heads and gouernours Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her familie It is a speciall dutie of a mother to giue her children sucke her selfe this is one namely that it belongeth to her to nurse her owne children which to omit and to put them forth to nursing is both against the law of nature and also against the will of God besides it is hurtfull both for the childes bodie and also for his wit and lastly it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe and it is an occasion that she falleth into much sicknesse thereby 1. First Nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end but that she should bestow it vpon her childe We see by experience that euery beast and euery fowle is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it onely some women loue to be mothers but not nurses And as euery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth euen so also it becommeth natural mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke 1. Tim. 5.10 2. Secondly the
few prouide or bee carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue and the feare of God For the losse of their liues and bodies they will sore bewayle and much lament but the health and saluation of their soules they make no reckning of if they see them poore and sicke they sorrow and sigh but though they see them sin and greatly displease God they are nothing grieued It behooueth that parents doe carefully obserue vnto what vices their children are most inclined and s◠by good meanes to admonish and draw them from the same As parents be carefull to prouide temporal things for their childrens bodies which are transitorie so much more carefull ought they to prouide spirituall things for their soules And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young so much more they ought to take care that their soules be not poysoned with vices and false and erronious doctrine when they come to yeeres of discretion and this is the most acceptablest seruice that they can doe to God Psal 132.1 Mat. 12.33 Children are called the fruit of their parents Therefore as a good tree is knowne by bringing forth good fruit so parents should shew their goodnes in the good education of their children which are their fruit For like as fruitfull fields for lacke of tillage waxe barrē or as trees being neglected eyther bring forth no fruit or else the same vnsauorie without the diligence of grafting and pruning or as dogs bee vnmeet to hunt the horse oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto euen so how sauage and vnfruitfull creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good and vertuous bringing vp To teach a child in the trade of his way as Salomon commandeth Pro. 22.6 which is not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse but also vnto all other humane duties Reasons wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents and they are bound to doe it For who should teach and informe the child but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him But it is well knowne that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children or such as they shall procure for their better education and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them they must looke vnto it Againe this is apparant euen by the generall law of nature which hath taught the very bruit beasts to bring vp their yong And further this dutie is yet enforced from the oportunitie of the thing commanded For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment and thriue better in the soyle where it first grewe or sprung vp then in any other ground because it liketh his owne soile best so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents whom they best like and from whom they had their first being then from any other and therefore you parents are in fault if your children bee not well taught For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the child is naturall and kindly no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dugge you shall sooner be heard of your children then eyther the sage counsell of the ancient or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned Lastly the rule of iustice doth require that euen as the first parent Adam Gen. 5.3 and so all other after him haue beene a meane of falling to al their posteritie in the begetting of children in their owne image which according to the law of creation should haue beene borne Gods Image so now in lieu of this al parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe neuer cease vntill they see in some measure the beautie of the first Image the vertue of the second Adam This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture as amongst other these doe proue Deut. 4.9 and 11.18.19 Ephes 6.4 Psal 78.5 And because this dutie of parents is many times committed to Schoolemasters to Masters of Families to Dames to Patrones and Guardians and such like they must therefore vnderstand whosoeuer they be that they are bound by the voyce of the almightie to performe and to do the dutie of parents to all such as are committed to their charge as if they were their owne children Now the vices which some parents commit in not performing these duties before and after named and ought of them to bee eschued are these 1. First the ignorance of the parents as if they be so rude that they bee not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a dutie and therefore they must indeuour to get so much nourture and knowledge as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them 2. The second vice is the prophanenesse of many parents who so they may prouide liuelihood and necessaries for their children they care for no more 3. The third vice is committed of such poore parents which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children so they may haue meate drinke ynough and wages thereto competent and are neither back-beaten nor belly beaten as they say Alas such poore children while they serue for their bellies they may loose their soules because they want godly maisters and dames to giue them wholesome instruction to holde them in by good example and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all Parents learne that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children as are godly and religious wise hearted such as are both able and wel disposed to traine vppe youth in all good nourture and Gods seruice and not onely this for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents but also they must so oftē as conueniently they may repaire unto them and see how they profit and holde them vp by their good counsell and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them to bee good vnto them in this chiefe poynt aboue the rest For as Salomon saith Life and death is in the power of the tongue Pro. 18.21 so wee may well say life and death is in the education of our children If they be well brought vp it shall be life vnto them but if it be otherwise they are trained vp to euerlasting death 4. The fourth vice is the fault of many maisters and dames who make no further reckening of their seruants then they do of their brute beasts For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them they care for no more and they will teach them no further then may serue for their owne turne and benefit that is to be a profitable seruant vnto them Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God
companions 1. King 12.8 The tame beast will not keepe with the wilde Prou. 1.11 and 13.20 nor the cleane dwell with the leprous If a man can be knowne by nothing else Psalm 6.8 Numb 16.26 Iosu 23.12 2. Chron. 19.2 2. Cor. 6.14 Ephes 5.7 then he may be knowne by his companions for like will to like as Salomon saith Theeues call one another Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie he saide Away from mee all yee that worke iniquitie shewing that a man neuer abandoneth euill vntill he abandon euill companie for no good is concluded in this Parliament Therefore choose such a companion of thy life as hath chosen companie like thee before for they which did chuse such as loued prophane companions before in a short time were drawne to be prophane too 6. The last signe is education 6. The bringing vp It skilleth more by whom and by what waies mē be brought vp then of whom they be begotten which giueth also great testimonie namely by whome and how euery one is brought vp whether the man or the woman were conuersant among vertuous or vicious persons and whether the parties haue continued in the nurture of the vertuous and shewed themselues obedient to them vnder whome they were brought vp or whether either of the parties haue broken out of this discipline and followed his or her owne wilfulnes For it is a small matter for either of them to haue dwelt among or with vertuous and religious folke but rather herein lieth the force and weight how far and how much either or both the parties haue followed those and profited vnder them and were dutifull and obedient vnto them For Iudas was among and accompanied with the Apostles brought vp certaine yeeres vnder Christ but for all this he was neuer the better for he left not his wicked prancks neither was he obedient Neuertheles good education and discipline formeth good manners men and women commonly sauour most of those good or euill thinges which in youth they learned To be good it doth much profite to be well brought vp Therefore to prooue good honest and vertuous it importeth and forceth much from the infancie to bee well gouerned and christianly brought vp for we retaine much more of the customes wherewith we be bred then of the inclinations wherewith wee bee borne All these properties are not spied at three or foure commings and meetinges of the partie for hypocrisie is spunne with a fine threed and none are so often deceiued as louers He therefore which will know all his wiues qualities or shee that will perceiue her husbands dispositions and inclinations before either be married to them had need to see one the other eating and walking woorking and playing and talking and laughing and chiding too or else it may be the one shall haue with the other lesse then he or she looked for or more then they wished for Here is to be remembred a thing adioyned to marriage and going before it namely Betrothing beeing a solemne and laudable custome of Gods children as is proued Deuteron 20.7 22.23 24. This Betrothing What betrothing is is a couenant betweene the parties to bee married before fit witnesses appointed thereto whereby they giue their troth that they will and shal marrie togither except some lawfull vnmeetenesse and disliking of each of other do hinder it in the meane time The practise of it we see Matth. 1.18 Luke 1.27 Where the Virgine Marie beeing betrothed to Ioseph yet they had not mette togither to wit to accompany togither according to the ende of marriage This custome noted and marked in diuers places of the Scripture hath diuers good grounds to be obserued which proue that there ought to be a contract before marriage And for the ter vnderstanding of this point of Betrothing it shall not be amisse in some plaine and short manner to make knowne the holy doctrine hereof with the doctrine also of marriage and marriage duties First then we must know that euery mariage that hath bin well and orderly vsed either of the heathen which were only inlightned with the law of nature or of the people of God who also were to be directed by his word was perfected by two solemne actions that is by an apparant open contract and by publike mariage the true vnfained cōfirmation therof Wherfore we wil first speak of a contract which is also called espousing affiancing betrothing or hand fasting thē of mariage it self And for betrothing or espousals we reade in the writing of ancient Philosophers Histories Orators Poets and others that they be of great antiquitie of necessarie vse and haue been ordinarily practised Insomuch as the vsers thereof are highly commended the neglecters and abusers hereof sharply rebuked and condemned Which seeing they could not do but vpon knowledge and iudgement it doth manifestly declare that they did it by natures lawe written and bred in their breasts And therefore that euen nature it selfe though in some matters starke blinde and in many of very dim sight yet she hath in all ages bewraied the lawfulnes the necessitie and the vse of espousals to be the first step and degree to a lawfull and comfortable marriage But to omit this lawe and to come to the written word let vs further consider what allowance we finde in the same and consequently what it is not onely to marrie not onely according to the direction of nature but also in the Lord. First it is certaine that the Lord approueth them as his owne sacred ordinance for we reade in Exodus 21.7 8 9 10 11. how carefully hee prouideth by sundry and many straight commaundements for the Maide-seruant that is betrothed First that she shall not goe out of her seruice as the Men-seruants doe Secondly that her Master shall haue no power to sell her to a strange people Thirdly that being betrothed vnto his sonne hee shall deale with her as with his owne doughter Fourthly if another wife bee taken with her that neither her foode her raiment nor recompence of her Virginitie shall any whit at all be diminished Fiftly that whensoeuer she goeth out of her seruice she shal pay no money at al. None whereof the Lord would haue done much lesse all of them vnlesse espowsalls had been his owne ordinance instituted ordained and commaunded by himselfe to bee vsed euen of the Maid-seruant that was bought and sold Againe it is written in Deut. 22.23 c. how the Lord by like commandement prouideth for the espowsed maid being inoffensiue yet beeing guiltie hee punisheth with lesse punishment then if shee had been indeed married First then hee commandeth that if any man shal abuse a betrothed virgine in the Citie both shall bee stoned to death the Maide because she cried not the man because hee hath humbled his neighbours wife Where by the way is to be remembred how God calleth the betrothed a wife If then such wickednesse by iustice deserueth death and if betrothed persons
mothers milke and straight waies after their cradle may bee nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life To haue godly children no doubt is the greatest treasure that may be For in the children doe the parents liue in a maner euen after death And if they be wel instructed catechised and vertuously brought vp God is honoured by them the common wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them They are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer an apt Haruest Young branches will bow as a man will haue them but olde trees will sooner breake then bow And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence to a strong and a mightie man that can shoote them with courage euen so children godly brought vp are a speciall protection and defence to their parents And as the strong mans quiuer the better it is furnished with chosen shafts the better defence he hath so likewise the more godly children that parents haue the greater is their ioy and happinesse Yea and further as arrowes are at the commādement of the owner to be vsed euen so children wel taught are at the commandement of godly parents 5. Lastly let parents remember how many sinnes they commit and heape one vpon another which doe not their dutie in bringing vp their children as they ought to doe First they transgresse the law of nature which telleth all men that their dutie is to bring vp their children godlily and honestly Secondly Deut. 6.7 8. 4.9 11.19 Psalm 71.5 6 7 8. Iosu 4.6 they sinne against God for they despise the commaundement and authoritie of God for hee commandeth that children should bee brought vp religiously and honestly but hee is a despiser of God that refuseth to doe as he is commaunded Thirdly he offendeth against his own credit estimation Exod. 12.26.27 Luke 11 12. For Gods wil is that parents should after a sort be in his stead so farre forth as pertaineth to outward discipline But such make small account of this dignity who neglect their dutie in this behalfe Parents are further to vnderstand that it is their dutie to haue diligent care to see their children taught to pray to God and to rehearse the Apostles Creed and the ten commandements For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather bee inclined to godlinesse and reuerence toward God so as they increase in age they shall euery day better then other comprehend that which they learne to their owne comfort and instruction to saluation Also as the tongue is called the glorie of man because that besides al other reasons by his speech hee is discerned from the brute beasts so it is meete that so soone as the childe can begin to speake his tongue should bee employed to glorifie God by calling vpon him and by learning some short Catechisme containing the principles and grounds of Christian religion as also in repeating the will of God in such sort as he wil that we should serue and honour him If parents doe note or perceiue any vice in their little ones as swearing lying choller enuie filching couetousnesse contempt of parēts readinesse to strife and other like corruptions it is their duty diligently and in time to reproue and correct thē as men vse to pluck vp weedes while they bee yet young least growing vp among the good seedes they should hinder their growth and choke them vp By experience we can see that mothers in swadling their little ones doe lay their limmes right each in his place likewise if a childe bee giuen to bee left handed they chide him yea sometimes they binde it vp or otherwise restraine the vse of it that hee may bee accustomed to vse his right hand Also if the childe haue some string vnder his tongue they cut it least it should hinder his speech much more then ought they to beware that through their negligence the vices of the soules doe not increase for it is the dutie of parents euen in the infancie to begin to shape and frame the soule vnto vertue It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne at the least to write and reade for it may bee vnto them a great helpe in the course of this life and a treasure of much greater account then money And therefore the negligence of many is sharply to be reproued Besides that the performance of the duties herein doth greatly binde their children vnto them Neuerthelesse the principall ende thereof should not haue respect to such commoditie as the children may reape thereby towards the vse of this present life but rather that they may reade the word of God to their comfort and instruction to saluation As also it were their parts to vse them daily to reade some chapters of the holie Scriptures thereby to incline and winne their affections to the word of God to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holie Ghost by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vpon the wicked and disobedient and of his blessings vnto those that walke in his feare Therefore if parents do look that their children should obey them then let them ioyne accustome them to Gods word which will redownd much to their parents profit If they cause their children to heare reade the holie Scriptures therein they may learne Honour thy father and thy mother But if parents doe otherwise then they traine them vp in the scriptures of diuels whereout their children will learne most wicked things but it is not so when they are instructed in the holie Scriptures Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God commandeth and so often and earnestly commendeth vnto them namely to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare of GOD and in the faith of Iesus Christ Deut. 6.6.7 and 32.46 Ephes 6.4 So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age It is then great follie to linger children in the learning of vaine trifling and vnprofitable things which as they grow in yeares they will contemne and forget Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course trade or other estate wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men and verely such fathers as do neglect that are vnworthie to haue children But as the soule is more precious then the bodie so is it the dutie of parēts in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things wherewith in age euen in this life they may glorifie God and be heires of the Lord. If parents want knowledge or bee vnwilling to take leisure to teach them yet let them doe as much for their childrens soules and
A GODLIE FORME OF HOVSEHOLDE GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods word Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner The seuerall duties of the Husband towards his Wife and the Wifes dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their Children and the Childrens towards their Parents The Masters dutie towards his Seruants and also the Seruants dutie towards their Masters Gathered by R. C. ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BARNARDE What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy name of thy Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour CYPRIAN It profiteth a man saith he nothing at all to professe vertue in words and to ouerthrow the trueth in his deeds AT LONDON Printed by Felix Kingston for Thomas Man 1598. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL MAISTER ROBERT BVRGAINE OF ROXALL ONE OF her Maiesties Iustices of peace in the Countie of Warwicke to the right Worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the Worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple-hall in the Countie of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the father by Iesus Christ and constancie in the trueth of the Gospell to the end and in the end HAuing collected and finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising verie carefully with my selfe to whom I might dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage thereof then some such meetest persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall Charges the seuerall poynts and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherevpon calling to minde the holy exercises daylie vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all ioyntly Patrones hereof First for that I acknowledge my selfe beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintance with you therefore least I should deserue the blame of vnthankefulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of mariage so also you are and haue beene a long time inseperably knit in a zealous sincere profession of Gods word and religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly would yet least I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeres in an idle condition or to hide my tallent in a napkin I haue been no lesse careful then willing to labour otherwaies to doo what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purport of my writings For such Householders as pretend to be great protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long inough talke of discipline and stil complaine of the want of Church-gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their own houses according to the direction handled in this Treatise and so to suffer the holy religion of God to take place amongst their families at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profit little For although there bee neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising and discipline in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in trueth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in trueth they were disordered and are still corrupted and mard at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnesse which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden dutie are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to bee practised within their seueral Households For if Parents and Householders shal performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meat drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and Infidels do yeelde this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullocks should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a christian Householder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants a much more christian care then he hath ouer his dumbe insensible beasts that so he may take a singular comfort from the daylie contemplation of their encrease in spirituall graces Oh what a sweete and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder as when he hath been so diligent and carefull in the trayning and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and waies of the Lorde that hee may rightly deserue to haue this worthie report commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly namely that he hath a church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed As the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly House-keepers Aquilla and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16.5 1. Cor. 16.19 As also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and Householders are in the Lorde to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of the couenant or at least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education and information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alasse many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing mooued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know and learne that if
which is Pro. 10.5 A wise sonne gathereth in summer but he that sleepeth in haruest is the son of confusion Where he teacheth that when a man spieth an oportunitie of honest gaine and commoditie he is to follow that while the time serueth but he that for a small matter letteth slip occasions and reckoneth of this time and that time this day and that day thinking then to haue more fit oportunitie that will bnng all to nothing A good neighbour saith one is a good thing Agreeable to this Salomon saith Pro. 17.17 A friend loueth at all times And 18.24 A friende is nearer then a brother As if hee should say there is many a friend that is more kind then a brother more readie to do pleasure then he that is more bound by nature and dutie He saith also Pro. 27.9 As oyntment and perfume reioyce the heart so doth the sweetnesse of a mans friend by heartie counsell That is also notable which is Verse 17. Jron sharpeth Iron so doth a man the face of his friend To wit because mutual communication of friends one with an other quickneth the spirit and cheareth the heart All these places containe motiues to giue heede to this exhortation Verse 10. Thine owne friende and thy fathers friende forsake not neither enter into thy brothers house in the day of thy calamitie for better is a neighbour that is neere then a brother that is far off In the ende of the eighteenth Chapter Verse 24. hee sheweth how a man shall preserue this treasure which is so good A man that hath friends must shew himselfe friendly Hereto agreeth that of the heathen he that would haue a good neighbour must be a good neighbour In the 24.27 Verse He seemeth to giue a rule for the right order of managing a mans Household affaires saying Prepare thy worke without and make readie thy things in the field afterward thou maist build thine house As though hee should say first looke after such things as are needfull and necessarie for house-keeping as that thou maist haue prouision c and then when that is prouided for thou maist fall a trimming vp of thy house But many fooles beginne first to decke their houses before they lay for necessaries and are faine afterwards to sell their ornaments with losse to prouide more necessarie matters It is a good point of wisedome to beare the want of that longest which may best be spared Sparing is good getting and the greatest rent that one can haue The last rule is that a good gouernour of a familie for the better maintenance of his familie must be frugall or to speake english a good husband that is sparing and sauing and so to order and moderate himselfe that if his goods and reuenues bee not sufficient for him and his charge then to make himselfe sufficient for his goods and to dispose of himselfe according to the olde prouerbe So to cut his coate according to his cloth and to eate within his owne tether Yet we would not haue him pinching or niggardly and so dried vp for liberalitie that nothing should be wroong from him for good vses that is too farre on the left hand as prodigalitie is on the right But where there is no iust cause to spend or lay out and it might be as well spared there we would haue him saue for his riches be the Lords goods which God hath made him a steward of when the Lorde therefore wils him to open his hand there let him not be straight handed but where nothing but vnrulie lusts and pomp or vain glory bid him drawe there is hee to hold fast for hee is an ill steward that will lay out his maisters goods where there is no need or where lesse would serue There be many who of a greedy and couetous mind will easily imbrace this precept of sparing but as they do it of a wrong purpose so they faile in the matters wherein they should saue and bee sparing Many misers pinch their seruants in their meate and drinke allowing them not inough or not good inough and this they take to be frugalitie and thrift whereas to prancke and pricke vp themselues in brauery and that sometimes aboue their calling herein they are very lauish This is no more to be counted frugalitie or good husbandrie then to rob a poore man to giue to the rich is true liberalitie When therefore thou thinkest of sparing let not the greedie desire of gathering draw thee to it but conscience of well vsing that which God hath lent thee And this mind will draw thee to spare and saue onely there where it may be wel done and not there where in conscience thou oughtest to spend Now the better to further our selues in this honest thriftinesse or frugality that is called of one a great reuenew the occasions of needlesse expences must bee auoided Loue not mirth and pastime for they haue oft occasion of expences Againe they cause losse of time and neglect of businesse at home yea and often such doo buy their pleasures with losse in their goods while retchlesse maisters haue either theeuish or carelesse seruants Therfore Salomon telleth such their fortune Pro. 11.17 Hee that loueth mirth or pastime will bee a poore man Secondly a sweete tooth a veluet mouth that is daintinesse or choicenesse in diet is an enimie to frugalitie a needlesse charge to delight the taste for a moment whereas wholesome meat and drinke would be more ease for the purse and healthfull for the bodie He that loueth Wine and Oyle that is sweete delicats for his sences will not be rich Pro. 27.17 In this ranke doo march gluttonie I meane cramming and pampering the bodie Gluttonie is a vice when any doth cram and fill his body with ouermuch meate and also drunkennesse These dul the mind and wit darken reason and make a man become sottish Besides they stuffe the body with grosse humours which breed diseases and diseases bring other charges for phisicke or at least losse of time and neglect of businesse which doo cost a man as much as his diet wherein hee was excessiue so that these euills haue double expences To be briefe in this point God hauing read the destinie of the drunkard Drunkennesse is a vice when any doth gull in ouermuch drinke and the glutton namely that many euils and namelie pouertie shall betide them Pro. 23.21.29.30.31 By some way or other God will effect his iudgement for no one peece of his word shall fall to the ground A great backfriend to thrift is good-fellowship and companie keeping for it hath losse of time and draweth thee away from thy calling and hindereth the due ouerseeing of good husbands affaires it maketh a man ouerslippe occasions of doing good things in a due and fitte season besides it draweth home others to thy house or draweth thee to other houses as Tauernes Alehouses such like the haunting wherof is a thing of no good report and
For this cause olde men and olde women may lawfully marrie So that a wife is called by GOD himselfe an Helper Rom. 7.23 1. Cor. 7.8 9 39. 1. Tim. 5.14 and not an impediment or a necessarie euill as some vnaduisedly doe say And as other some say It is better to burie a wife then to marrie one Againe if wee could be without women wee should bee without great troubles These and such like sayings This is often found most true that such as are contemners of mariage are most offenders against marriage and liue most vnchastly tending to the dispraise of women some maliciously and vndiscreetly doe vomit out contrary to the mind of the holy Ghost who saith that she was ordeined as a Helper and not a hinderer And if they bee otherwise it is for the most parte through the fault and want of discretion and lacke of good gouernment in the husband For married folkes for two eyes haue foure and for two hands as many moe which being ioyned togither they may the more easily dispatch their handy busines houshold affaires For like as a man hauing one hande or one foote if by any meanes hee get himselfe an other may thereby the more easily lay holde on what he listeth or goe whither he will euen so hee that hath married a wife shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures and profitable coÌ„modities of this present life For in trouble the one is a comfort to the other in aduersitie the one a refreshing vnto the other yea and in all their life the one is a helpe and succour to the other Most true it is that women are as men are reasonable creatures and haue flexible wittes both to good and euill the which with vse discretion and good counsell may be altered and turned And although there be some euill and lewde women yet that doth no more prooue the malice of their nature then of men and therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill and haue not with like furie vituperated and dispraised all mankind because part of them are theeues murtherers and such like wicked liuers But the marriage and company of the husband and wife is made amiable sweete and comfortable by these fiue meanes by godlinesse vertue mutuall forbearing mutuall loue and by dutifulnesse performed busily and godly on both sides 1. Godlinesse of right holdeth the chiefe place For there is no stable steadfast friendship vnlesse it haue his beginning from God and therefore must godlinesse needes shine before the rest For when couples haue determined to obey God all things afterward become more easie 2. Vertue and honest conditions breede mutuall delight betweene man and wife For when vertue is exercised it maketh conuersation of liuing more amiable 3. Mutuall forbearing whereby we take in good worth one anothers conditions faults is very needfull For in this weaknesse of nature there happen many scapes which will breede strife if they be not couered by mutuall forbearing 4. Mutuall loue hauing his beginning of godlinesse and true vertue maketh the husband and wife not to be too sharpe sighted in spying into one anothers faults but that many things either they marke not or if they marke them they couer them with loue For Loue couereth the multitude of sinnes 1. Pet. 4.8 Prou. 10.12 5. Dutie performed godlily carefully and cheerfully on both sides maketh the mariage-yoke light and sweete For when man and wife marke one another and finde like heedfulnesse and buxamnes in their dutie both their companie is made more pleasant and they are the more stirred vp on both sides to render dutifulnes that the one may requite the other alike Where these fiue duties bee not the companie of their life is both lothsome and bitter or rather more sharpe then death Therefore the godly couples must doe their endeuour that these vertues may be seene in their life continually for euer Now wee will through God his assistance say something concerning the three seuerall points contained in this dutie and mentioned in the beginning hereof and so end this dutie 1. The first whereof is That the husband must liue with his wife according to knowledge This point of doctrine is most plainlie proued by the Apostle Peter where he saith Ye husbands dwell with your wiues 1. Pet. 3.7 as meÌ„ of knowledge giuing honour vnto the woman as vnto the weaker vessell By honor is meant that the Husband ought to sustaine and relieue the wants of his wife to support vphâ—ld and beare with her infirmities as the weaker vessell euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life that your prayers be not interrupted Whereby hee teacheth the husband his dutie to wit that the more vnderstanding and wisedome God hath indued him with the more wisely and circumspectly hee ought to behaue himselfe in bearing those discommodities which through his wiues weakenes oftentimes cause some iarre and dislike one to the other Neuerthelesse though she be by nature weaker then he yet she is an excellent instrument for him made to farre more excellent vses whereupon it followeth thaâ— she is not therefore to bee neglected because shee is weake but on the contrarie part shee ought to be so much the more cared for Like as a vessell the weaker it is the more it is to bee fauoured and spared if we will haue it to continue euen so a wife because of her infirmities is so much the more to be borne withall of her husband 1. Pet. 3.7 And for so much as the husband and wife are equall in that which is the chiefest that is to say if that gracious and free benefit whereby they haue euerlasting life giuen them which otherwise are vnequall as touching the gouernance and conuersation at home and therefore she is not to bee despised although she be weake And besides Besides the praiers had with their familie they must pray priuately Gene. 25.21 1. Cor. 7.3 4 5 all braulings and chidings must be eschued and cast away because they hinder praiers and the whole seruice of God whereunto both the husband and the wife are equally called Also for more câ—onfirmation of this point the Apostle Paule likewise sayth Let the husband giue vnto the wife due beneuolence and likewise also the wife vnto the husband The wife hath not power of her owne bodie but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne bodie but the wife Defraude not one another except it bee with consent for a time that yee may giue your selues to fasting and prayer and againe come together that Sathan tempt you not for your incontinencie VVhich is as if the Apostle should say The parties married must with singular affection entirelie loue one the other for that they are each in others power as touching the bodie so that they may not defraud one another except the one abstaine from the other
and loue between the head and the body neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife infringe the loue that proceedeth of the vnion and coniunction of marriage If the husband bee giuen to brawling or the wife to chiding let them both beware of giuing any occasion The bell hath a loude sound and therfore he that will not heare it must beware how he pulleth the rope and shake it so if the one will begin to chide without a cause let the other be either deafe and so not heare it or dumbe and so make no answere So that where the husband is deafe and the wife blinde marriage is quiet and free from dissention Whereby is meant that the wife must winke at many infirmities of her husband as if she saw them not and the husband put vp many shrewde speeches of his wife as if he heard them not Neither can it be any reproch to the husband and wife so stedfastly vnited to practise this dutie considering that Dauid protesteth that he vsed the like patience and discretion among his enemies They that seeke after my life lay snares and they that goe about to doe me euill Psal 38.12 talke wicked things and imagine deceit continually But I as a deafe man heard not and am as a dumbe man which openeth not his mouth Thus I am as a man that heareth not and â—n whose mouth are no reproofes This vnion betweene man and wife doth also engender that dutie which the holy Ghost noteth saying Matth. 19.5 Ephes 5.31 For this cause shall a man leaue his father and mother and cleaue to his wife As also the wife in the like respect is bound to the like dutie toward her husband Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parentes but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife is greater then betweene the children and the parentes And indeede the true loue of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband surmounteth all loue of children to their parents The husband and the wife haue their secret counsels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commoditie The wife is more obedient to her husband and the husband more desirous to please his wife then their parents yea and at length it falleth out that they depart from their parentes to keepe house by themselues And this plainely appeared in Lea and Rachell being sisters Gen. 26. and the wiues of Iacob For Iacob grieued at the wrong offered him by their father Laban boldly made his moane to them Whereupon they also complaining of their father agreed with Iacob and consented togither to leaue their father and to follow their husband Iacob Herein likewise consisteth an other dutie of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband namely that they shew no greater secrecie or communication of their household affaires to their parents then mutually each to other and this rule is especially to be put in practise when there groweth any discontent betweene themselues For if the husband shal complaine to his parents of his wife or the wife of her husband such dealing might breed a most dangerous iealousie and consequently perhaps irreconciliable dissention and strife But if it should grow to any complaint it were requisite so discreetly to prosecute the matter as that the wife should come to her husbands parents the husband to the wifes parents So should all cause of iealousie cease and the complaint procure most assured remedie This loue and agreement in marriage produceth yet another dutie common both to the husband and the wife And that is that they neuer seeke neyther once thinke of diuorce And to that ende let them remember what is written Mat. 19.6 That which God hath ioyned togither let no man put asunder Likewise that nothing but Adulterie may separate those that are vnited by marriage All other agreements and contracts made by mutuall consent may be broken and dissolued by the like consent of both parties but in the contract of marriage Almightie God commeth in as a witnesse yea he receiueth the promise of both parties as ioyning them in that estate And this doth Salomon note Pro. 2.17 where hee obiecteth to the Harlot that shee hath forgotten the couenant or alliance of her God But Malachie speaketh more plainly and giueth a reason why God punished such husbands as leauing their lawfull wiues tooke others Mala. 2.14 Because saith he the Lord hath beene witnesse betweene thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou hast transgressed yet is she thy companion and the wife of thy couenant The promise therefore to God cannot be broken but onely by his authoritie In the dayes of Moses husbands were easily and soone intreated to forsake their wiues by giuing them a Bill of diuorce yet so far was this course from being lawfull that contrariwise Mat. 19.8 Iesus Christ saith that it was tolerated onely in respect of the hardnesse of husbands hearts who otherwise would haue vexed their wiues and intreated them cruelly And this libell containing the cause of diuorce and putting away of the woman did iustifie her and condemne the man For seeing it was neuer giuen in case of adulterie Leuit. 20.10 Iohn 8.5 which was punished with death all other causes alledged in the libell tended to iustifie the woman and declare that she was wrongfully diuorced and so condemned the husband as one that contraried the first institution of Marriage whereto Iesus Christ condemning this corruption doth returne them saying Jt was not so from the beginning and therefore whosoeuer shall put away his wife Mat. 19.8 except it bee for whoredome and marrieth another committeth adulterie and whosoeuer marrieth her which is diuorced doth commit adulterie with her So straight is the bond of marriage Hereof it followeth that notwithstanding whatsoeuer difficulties that may arise between the husband and the wife whether it be long tedious and incurable sicknesse of either partie whether naturall and contrary humours that breede debate wrangling or strife about household affaires whether it bee any vice as the husband to bee a drunkard or the wife a slouthfull idle or vnthriftie huswife whether either partie forsake the trueth and profession of religion doe fall to idolatrie or heresie Yet still the bond of marriage remaineth stedfast and not to be dissolued Neither may they bee separated euen by their owne mutual consent For as the holy Ghost hath pronounced Mat. 19.6 That which God hath ioyned togither let no man put asunder And therefore S. Paul saith 1. Cor. 7.12 If any brother hath a wife that beleeueth not if she be content to dwell with him let him not forsake here the woman which hath a husband that beleeueth not if he can be content to dwell with her let her not forsake him Also because some did suppose that the vnbeleefe in any of the parties might breede some pollution