love is soul love And if the love of Husband and Wife be thus grounded in Religion and Piety and a care of each others souls it will make their lives a kind of Heaven upon earth 'T will prevent those contentions heart burnings and brawls so fatal to many Families They will like Zachary and Elizabeth labour to walk before the Lord blamelesse They will endeavour to plant Religion in their Family and be examples of Piety prudence and goodnesse to those among whom they live 2. They are to be mutual helpers to each other in natural and civil respects They are to comfort and cherish one another both in health and sicknesse in prosperity and adversity They are to advise and assist each other in a right governing their Family and in a prudent mannaging their estate and worldly affairs And in a word they are to endeavour to make their passage through this world as comfortable to each other as they can So much in general for the duties common to both I now come to speak more particularly of the duties belonging to each of them severally And first of the duties of the Husband I. The first duty the Husband owes to his Wife is love How great this love should be the Apostle intimates by the similitudes he uses in this matter The one of that Christ bears to his Church Eph. 5.25 Husbands love your Wives even as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it The other of that a man bears to himself v. 31. Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself Now every one knows and feels how he loves himself A mans love to himself hath these properties 1. 'T is cordial without dissimulation Many a man feigns love and friendship to others but no body is insincere and false in his love to himself Such a love should a man bear to his Wife As Jonathans heart was knit to David 1 Sam. 18.1 And he loved him as his own soul so ought the Husband to love his Wife The Apostle tels us 1 Cor. 13.5 Charity is not easily provoked True fervent cordial love is long suffering and beareth with many infirmities and weaknesses and covereth a multitude of offences 1 Pet. 4.8 2. 'T is constant 'T is so natural nothing can make it cease Though a man hath been handsom and is by sicknesse become deformed though he hath been healthy and is become sickly though he hath been patient and is now grown cholerick yet he still loves himself So no accidental change or defect should lessen a mans love to his Wife 3. 'T is very tender How tenderly does a man treat himself when sick If he have a sore eie How careful is he of it Such ought a mans affection be to his Wife expressing it self in a tender regard of her in sicknesse as well as health The man ought to look upon his Wife as the tenderer part of himself or as the Apostle phrases it as the weaker vessel 1 Pet. 3.7 Which must not be a cause of contempt but rather of respect and regard And the more weak she is in respect of any sicknesse or the like so much the more tender care ought he to have of her No man ever hated his own flesh saies the Apostle but nourisheth and cherisheth it Eph. 5.29 The Husband therefore must not do any thing that may be hurtful or grievous to his Wife no more than he would cut and gash his own flesh For my part I know no Law of God or man that allows the Husband a power to beat his Wife He is indeed to govern her but he is to do it by wise loving amiable counsel not by stripes The civil Law is strict against it Cod. 5. And among Heathens we read not of any except such as were mad or drunk practising this unnatural cruelty The Husband therefore should mannage that authority and superiority which God hath given him over his Wife wisely mildly amiably He should remember all Government is ordained by God for the good of the whole and not the pleasure only of the Governour Therefore all harshnesse and roughnesse and such tyrannical carriage is utterly unallowable on the Husbands part towards his Wife 4. 'T is pure Not for base and sinister ends He does not love himself because he is a healthy man a handsom man a rich man but 't is purely himself because 't is himself that he loves Such ought a mans love to his Wife to be not only because she is fair or rich or young but because she is his Wife A man may look abroad in the world and see others healthier handsomer richer wittier than himself yet I hope he does not thereupon fall in love with them and slight and neglect himself So a man is to love his wife purely for this reason because she is his Wife Though he is not bound to think her the best accomplished woman in the world yet he is to love her like her delight in her more than any woman in the world So much for the first Duty the man owes to his Wife Love and the degree of it II. The next is Instruction The Husband is to instruct the wife in the things that concern her everlasting welfare if she be ignorant of them Thus Paul bids the wives learn of their husbands at home 1 Cor. 14.35 Which supposes the Husband is to teach her This should make men careful to get knowledge themselves that so they may perform this duty they owe to others III. Maintenance He is to maintain her provide for her and allow her things convenient and fit according to his estate and to let her partake with him in those outward good things wherewith God hath blessed him And as he is not by niggardize to deny her what is fit for her so neither must he by his unthriftinesse wast his goods and so make himself unable to support her if God take him away before her he is to provide for her comfortable subsistence according to his ability and not to beat her when he is dead as one phrases it by leaving her an insufficient and too short an allowance I come now to speak of the Duties of the Wife The Wife owes to her Husband I. Subjection Eph. 5.22 Wives submit your selves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Col 3.18 Wives submit your selves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. 1 Pet. 3.1 Likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands c. V. 5. Being in subjection to their own husbands Besides these Scripture-Commands there are several reasons for it 1. From the Creation 1. The man was first created 1 Tim. 2.13 Adam was first formed then Eve 2. The woman was made of the man and not the man of the woman 1 Cor. 11.8 For the man is not of the woman but the woman of the man 3. The woman was made for the man not the man for the woman Gen. 2.18 And
hearing 3. What we are to do after we have heard And oh that I might prevail with you to read these Directions often especially on Saturday-nights that so you might come prepared The great reason of the unprofitablenesse of preaching and that Sermons do no more good is because people come without preparation 3. Seeing that Heavenly duty of singing Psalms and lifting up the praises of the most High is now by some question'd as indeed what is not that tends to Gods Glory and mans good I purposely handle that subject and prove it to be a duty under the Gospel answer the Objections against it and give some Directions for the right performing of it 4. Forasmuch as Christians might exceedingly benefit one another by Religious conference thereby warming and enlivening one another and provoking one another to love and to good works In the next place I speak of that duty and set down some Rules concerning it Lastly Because without meditation 't is not to be expected the Word should do much good nor that the soul should ever thrive in Knowledge and Grace I shew the excellency and benefit thereof and give some Directions for the practise of it The Seventh Chapter treats of the danger of frequenting and unnecessarily conversing with bad company whereby many have been everlastingly undone A man that prayes to be delivered from temptations must not wilfully run himself into them And because 't is the duty of all true Christians both for their own peace sake and that they may adorn the Gospel of Christ to serve their generation in some honest and commendable way avoiding Idlenesse that great snare of the Devil In the eighth Chapter I discourse of diligence and conscientiousnesse in our particular places and callings And that the Name of God may not be blasphemed by the ill lives and practises of such as professe themselves Christians In the Ninth Chapter I treat of just and upright dealing in Trading and Commerce giving some Rules both to buyers and sellers and shew the necessity of making restitution of or satisfaction for ill gotten goods The Tenth Chapter contains the duties of Governours of Families which I desire all that are in that relation often to read over and seriously to meditate upon There is a great duty lies upon them and greater than they usually are aware of They may be exceeding instrumental of the salvation of those under their care if they discharge their duties as they ought But through their neglect of the Worship of God in their houses and their ill lives and examples they prove too often an occasion of the ruine of many in their Families And because very much of the life of Godlinesse consists in a faithful discharge of relative duties The Eleventh Chapter shews the duties of Husband and Wife The Twelfth of Mâ—sters and Servants The Thirteenth of Parents and Children The Fourteenth of such as are in office and of Inferiours The Fifteenth of People towards their Pastors and spiritual Guides O what an honour would it be to Christian Religion if all they that call themselves Christians would endeavour to walk uprightly and faithfully in their respective places And seeing it is a real kindnesse and an excellent expression of true Christian friendship to keep one another off from the pit of destruction and to help one another on towards Heaven In the Sixteenth Chapter I treat of that great and hard duty of Christian reproof and admonition which if it were prudently and faithfully discharged would by the blessing of God much abate sin in the world and exceedingly advance Piety The Seventeenth Chapter contains the duties of rich and poor Many duties belong to them both and both have great temptations therefore they had need be careful to discharge the one and avoid the other The Eighteenth Chapter speaks of the duties of Young and Old Ministers find by experience that the Word hath the greatest operation on those that are young who have not contracted such strong habits of sin nor so long resisted the Grace of God nor so much provoked him to give them up to their own hearts lusts as many ancient people have done who have liv'd a great while in an unconverted state under the light of the Gospel I have therefore shewed young persons the danger of delaies the advantages of turning to God betimes and answered the Objections that many are apt to make against it And because a Minister is also to have a care of the souls of the Ancient and to his utmost skill to endeavour their salvation I have laid down several awakening considerations for them to think upon I have shewed them the danger of vain presumptions and groundlesse hopes of Heaven I have set down some of those false grounds and sandy foundations whereon many ancient people build their hopes of happinesse that so they may be undeceived and may look better about them to secure their souls while there is time In the Nineteenth Chapter there are Directions given for the healthy and the sick To deal wisely and faithfully with sick persons in order to their souls welfare is one of the hardest pieces of the Ministerial work and requires much skill to perform it aright And seeing a Minister is not ever at hand to visit such sick persons as may need his help and many times they stand in need of much help and instruction I have drawn up such directions as I judged needful for them which they may mâ—ke use of when they cannot have the help and assistance of a Minister I have shewed how they should examine themselves And that they may not slubber over that great businesse but may come in some measure to discern the multitude of their sins and the manifold waies whereby they have offended God I have set down a Catalogue of the duties commanded and sinnes forbidden in the ten Commandments as also the sins against the Gospel That so people may not only in general say they are sinners and yet when they come and professe to humble their souls and to confesse their sins unto God can find few they are guilty of but may see themselves to be exceeding vile and sinful I know 't is very unpleasing to people to search their own Consciences and find themselves great sinners They had rather sit down with a false peace than arraign and terrifie themselves in this manner But who that is in his right wits would content himself with a shadow of repentance or a shadow of Faith without finding the substance and truth of these Graces in his soul when his everlasting welfare depends upon it Those Directions there mentioned may be of use also to all persons who desire at any time more solemnly to humble themselves before the Lord for the sins of their life past and more especially before the receiving the Sacrament of the Lords Supper The Twentieth Chapter contains a discourse of the four last things Death Judgment Hell Heaven There I shew the necessity
to watchfulnesse ibid. Of Perseverance Pag. 289 Of mental ejaculatory prayer Pag. 293 Of reviewing at night and reflecting upon all the actions of the day past Pag. 296 Chap. 6. Of improving the opportunities and means of Grace Pag. 301 Of the observation of the Lords day ibid. Of hearing the Word How we are to prepare our selves before we hear how to behave our selves in time of hearing what to do after we have heard Pag. 319 Of singing Psalms Pag. 340 Of religious Conference Pag. 349 Of Meditation Pag. 354 Chap. 7. Of frequenting good company Pag. 358 Chap. 8. Of diligence and conscientiousnesse in our particular Callings Pag. 365 Chap. 9. Concerning just dealing in trafick trading and commerce Pag. 372 Directions to buyers Pag. 373 To Sellers Pag. 375 Motives to righteous dealing Pag. 377 Of restitution Pag. 378 Chap. 10. Of the duties of Governours of Families Pag. 382 Of Family-Prayer Pag. 387 Chap. 11. Of the duties of Husband and Wife Pag. 397 Chap. 12. Of the duties of Masters nnd Servants Pag. 415 Chap. 13. Of the duties of Parents and Children Pag. 428 Of Infant-Baptism ibid. Chap. 14. Of the duties of such as are in Office and the duties of Inferiours Pag. 448 Chap. 15. Of the duties of people towards their Pastours and Ministers Pag. 452 Chap. 16. Of Christian and Brotherly reproof Pag. 546 Chap. 17. Of the duties of the Rich and poor Of those that concern the rich Pag. 483 Of Recreations Pag. 490 Of Charity and relieving the poor Pag. 492 Directions concerning the exercise of charity Pag. 494 Of the duties that concern the poor Pag. 498 Their Temptations and dangers Pag. 504 Chap. 18. Of the duties of Young and Old Of those that concern the young Pag. 509 The danger of delaies Pag. 510 The advantages of turning to God betimes Pag. 513 Objections against it answered Pag. 515 Directions to the younger sort Pag. 519 Of the duties of the Ancient ibid. Serious considerations for the Ancient Pag. 524 The danger of ill-grounded hopes of Heaven Pag. 528 What those deceiving and sandy foundations are whereon many ancient people build their hopes of Heaven Pag. 529 Directions to the Ancient Pag. 534 Chap. 19. Directions to the healthy and to the sick The duties of those that are in health Pag. 539 Directions and counsel to the sick Pag. 541 How to examine themselves Pag. 543 Of the duties commanded and sins forbidden in the Law or ten Commandments Pag. 545 Of the sins against the Gospel Pag. 556 Further directions to the Sick Pag. 564 The Lessons to be learned in the School of affliction Pag. 567 What things are required of them whom God brings out of trouble and affliction Pag. 570 Chap. 20. Of the four last things Death Judgment Hell Heaven Pag. 577 1. Of Death ib. Directions how to prepare for death ib. Reasons why those that are Godly should not overmuch fear death Pag. 582 2. Of the last Judgment Pag. 587 Arguments to prove there will be a day of judgment Pag. 588 Who will be the Judge Pag. 591 The nature and manner of this judgment Pag. 594 A threefold Book that will then be opened Pag. 598 The consequents of this judgment Pag. 599 3. Of Hell Pag. 602 Of the duration of the persons of the damned ib. Of the duration of their pains Pag. 606 Of the dreadfulnesse of their pains and torments Pag. 608 Of Heaven Pag. 617 Of the resurrection of the body Pag. 622 Of the Glory of the body Pag. 625 Of the blessednesse of the soul Pag. 628 ERRATA THe Reader is desired to Correct these Errata's with his pen that the sense be not disturbed Page 17. line 15. of him is wanting after invisible things p. 20. the last Scripture viz. Gen 48.16 should have been left out as being spoken not of a created Angel but the Angel of the Covenant p. 43. l. 10. dele of God p. 71. l. 3. after offered read one l. 4. after sins r. for ever p. 101 l. 27. after Christ r. v. 8. By grace ye are saved through faith and that not c. p. 129 l. 1. the 47 v. of Mar. 9. is left out p. 132 l. 21. for not r. ever p. 137. l 21. for calender r. calendar p. 141. l. 18. dele three p. 144. l 27. for the r. thee p. 146. l. 45. for This is the soul r. Thus is the soul p. 165. l. 11. dele therefore p. 173. l. 8. dele Isa 48. 17. p. 180. l. 15. for my being r. any being p. 181. l. 4. for and four beasts r. and the four beasts p. 240. l. 13. for spirit r. spirits p. 246. l. 3. after unlawfull r. and customary l. 16. for scurrulous r. scurrilous p 253. l. 4. for persons whom r. persons to whom p. 263. l. 26. for watch r. walk p 301. l 13. for meditations r. meditation p. 209. l. 10. for the first of the r. the first day of the. p. 346. l. 20. for psams r. psalms p. 360. l. 6. for to kind r. to its kind p. 413. l. 29. for stretched r. stretcheth p. 439. l. 10. for that that they do it r. for that they do as one saies p. 482. l. 1. for beareth r. heareth p. 512. l. 19. for dost really r. dost not really p. 514. l. 15. for twelfth bour r. eleventh hour p. 525. l. 16. for pag. 510 r. page 511. p. 528. l. 18. for peâ—suming r. presuming p. 541. l. 9. for partie r. parties l. 13. for cna r. can p. 551. l. 1. for visiting r. of visiting p 567 l. 8. for corectest r. correctest p. 569. l. 23. for Oh r. O. p. 570. l. 6. for our r. your p. 581. l. ult for his r. this p. 589. l. 4. after conscience r. only p. 609. l. 17. dele or p. 627. l. 7. for or r. and. KNOWLEDGE PRACTICE OR A Discourse of things necessary to be Known Believed and Practised in order to Salvation TWo things are mainly necessary to Salvation Right Knowledge Right Practice The chief things to be Known and Believed are Concerning God Man The Mediator between God and Man Concerning God we are to Know three things 1. His Nature 2. His Properties or Attributes 3. His Workes Concerning Man three things 1. The happy Condition in which he was made 2. His Fall 3. The way of his Recovery by Christ Concerning the Mediator between God and Man seaven things 1. What manner of Person he was 2. How he came into the World 3. How he lived here 4. How he died 5. What became of him after his Death 6. What was the end and intent of his coming into the World 7. What they are effectually Called unto and through the assistance of the Spirit of God enabled to perform who shall receive Remission of sins by Christ CHAP. I. Concerning God COncerning God we are to know three things 1. His Nature 2. His Properties or Attributes 3. His Workes First His Nature That there is one Onely true God
better example Timothy was train'd up by his parents and that from a child in the holy Scriptures 2 Tim. 3.15 Want of instruction at home is one main reason of the unprofitablenesse of preaching 2. A Priest to offer up the spiritual sacrifices of prayer and praise for them and with them 3. A King to rule command and govern for Christ in his own house Gen. 18.19 I know Abraham that he will command his children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord c. A Master of a Family has a greater command and authority over those in his own house than any Minister has He is more with them and has his eie more upon them He should therefore improve his power for God and be like the good Bishop described 1 Tim. 3.4 ruling well i. e. Religiously his own house having his children in subjection with all gravitie So much of the second particular the directions how Governours of Families should discharge their duties towards those under their Government I come now to the third and last to shew whence the neglect of this so great and necessary a duty proceeds There are several causes of it 1. Ignorance Some are so ignorant themselves they know not how to instruct others They know not how to pray with their Families Oh let all such presently apply themselves with all care and seriousnesse to learn the things that concern their salvation that they may discharge their duties towards their relations And let them know it is their duty to labour for ability to pray and for that gift whereby upon all occasions they may in an humble and fitting manner express the desires of their hearts unto the Lord. In the mean time till by seeking to God for his Spirit to enable them and by a faithful endeavour they have attain'd to some measure of this gift they may use some good prescribed form Only let them be exceeding watchful over their hearts for fear of that formality and meer lip-service which in such cases we are more especially in danger of 2. Carelesness Some are of Gallio's temper Acts 18.17 They care for none of these things They think this more ado than needs They will provide portions for their children look that their servants do their work but for Religion the one thing absolutely necessary they do not much trouble themselves 3. Worldly-mindednesse Some are so worldly they cannot afford time for Gods Worship and Service Not a swine about the house but shall be served morning and evening but God is not regarded 4. Prophanenesse Some are so far from having any religious care of their Families to pray with them to instruct them c. that they deride these duties and scoffe at those that make conscience to perform them They through the pride of their hearts think it a disparagement to them to set up the practise of these things in their houses Wretched worms Is God become a shame to his creatures Who are they or what is their Fathers house that they are too good to be the servants of the most High Let them make their peace with that Scripture Mark 8. ult Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed when he cometh in the Glory of his Father with the holy Angels 5. Loose Opinions under pretence of new Light setting people at liberty from the observation and practise of those duties whereby the life and power of Religion is most maintained and preserved Let Governours of Families therefore beware of all these things and whatever else may hinder them from a Conscionable discharge of their Duties Gen. 18.19 For I know him that he will command his Children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do Justice and Judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him Josh 24.15 But as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. 1 Sam. 1.21 And the man Elkanah and all his house went up to offer unto the Lord the yearly Sacrifice and his vow Acts 10.2 Cornelius a devout man and one that feared God with all his house which gave much Almes to the people and prayed to God alway CHAP. XI Of the duties of Husband and Wife I Shall first speak of the Duties common to both and then more particularly of those that belong to each of them severally They owe to each other Love Faithfulnesse Helpfulnesse I. Love There ought to be a firm and inviolable love between them grounded on Gods Ordinance and their own Covenant and not meerly on natural or civil respects and being so neerly united and made one flesh they should have but one heart They should have the greatest tendernesse and kindness for each other imaginable If any unkindnesse should at any time happen to arise between them they should never sleep in displeasure but both readily agree to a speedy reconcilement The Sun should not go down on their wrath Love must sweeten all their speeches carriage and actions towards each other 'T is love will make all the duties of a married life easie and all the cumbers and crosses tolerable This love must for measure exceed and surpasse their love to any other creature There must be between them both the love of goodwill desiring heartily the welfare of each other and the love of complacency delighting in each other Want of love between man and wife is no mean sin II. Faithfulnesse and that of several sorts 1. That of the bed They must keep themselves pure chast from all strange embraces and with the greatest abhorrence detest any motion or temptation that way They must not embrace the bosom of a stranger Prov. 5.20 They must be constant to each other and confident of each other Jealousie is the pasport of love 2. They must keep each others secrets 3. Conceal each others infirmities 4. Be faithful to each other in the mannaging their worldly affairs 5. If any difference arise not let it take vext for jars concealed are half reconciled whereas if they be once divulged 't is a double labour to make up the breach and stop the mouths of people abroad III. Helpfulnesse They are to be mutuall helpers each to other both in spiritual and temporal things 1. They should endeavour to help one another on towards Heaven to promote and encrease knowledge and Holiness in each others souls designing to meet together and live together for ever in Heaven They should pray together and for each other 1 Pet. 3.7 They should faithfully wisely and lovingly admonish one another of any failings they discern in each other This is of all other the truest and most valuable love Nay indeed How can it be said they do love at all if they can contentedly let each other run on in a course that will bring them to eternal misery True
the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone I will make him an help meet for him 4. Nature it self proclaims it in respect of the sex the female being inferiour to the male Man is the Image and Glory of God and the woman is the Glory of the man 1 Cor. 11.7 2. From the Transgression For the woman though the latter in Creation yet was the former in transgression Gen. 3.6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was pleasant to the eies and a tree to be desired to make one wife she took of the fruit thereof and did eat and gave also unto her husband with her and he did eat v. 12. And the man said the woman whom thou gavest to be with me she gave me of the tree and I did eat 1 Tim. 2.14 Adam was not deceived i. e. first and by Satan but the woman being deceived was in the transgression not only sinning her self but drawing her husband into transgression also 3. From the titles of head and guide given to the husband in the Scriptures which declare him to be the Superiour 1 Cor. 11.3 The head of the woman is the man Eph. 5.23 For the Husband is the head of the Wife even as Christ is the head of the Church Prov. 2.17 Which for saketh the guide of her youth and forgetteth the Covenant of her God II. Reverence Eph. 5.33 Let the wife see that she reverence her husband Reverence is a mixture of love and fear 1. The wife must intirely love her husband Tit. 2.4 And desire to do him good and not hurt all the daies of her life Prov. 31.12 Love must sweeten her whole behaviour towards him And this love must proceed from a due estimation of him as her Head and Guide Judgment 't is the sourse and spring of affection What the mind esteems not the heart affects not That which we highly prize we dearly value And if the wife truly esteem her husband her carriage and behaviour towards him will be with all sweetness amiablenesse and due respect and regard 2. She ought to fear not with a servile slavish but a liberal free ingenuous fear like that true Converts bear to God springing from love and joyn'd with love least she give him any just occasion of displeasure and discontent 1 Cor. 7.34 The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in Spirit but she that is married careth for the world how she may please her husband III. Obedience 1 Cor. 14.34 The Apostle tels us women are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the Law What Law Why Gen. 3.16 Thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee Also Tit. 2.5 To be discreet chast keepers at home good obedient to their own husbands that the Word of God be not blasphemed And in 1 Pet. 3.6 Sarah is propounded as their pattern Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham c. Bâ—t what kind of obedience is it the wife is to render to the Husband The Apostle tels us Col. 3.18 Wives submit your selves to your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Which hints to us these two things 1. It must be done in obedience to God to the Commandment and the Ordinance of God It must be a religious conscientious submission A Heathen woman may do all the outward duties of a good wife for her credit sake or peace at home or from principles of natural honesty But a Christian woman besides these motives should do it out of Conscience to Gods Command out of a desire to please God and to approve her heart to him as unto the Lord as the Apostle speaks Eph. 5.22 Having a respect to the precept and enjoynment of Christ This may take away that common Objection of some women if my husband do not his duty to me Why should I do mine to him His faultinesse and neglect of his duty will not excuse thy non performance of thine For thou owest this duty not only and principally to him but to the Lord who requires it of thee whether thy husband do his or no. And further the worse the husband is the more need there is for the wife to carry her self with such gentlenesse and sweetness towards him as may be most like to win him for so the Apostle advises 1 Pet. 3.1 Likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the Word they also may without the Word be won by the conversation of the wives The discreet kind loving behaviour of the wife towards her husband though a bad man may be a great means to reclaim him whereas the ill fruits of the wives unquietness are very notorious How many are there that to avoid the noise of a froward wife have fallen to company keeping and by that to drunkennesse poverty and a multitude of mischiefs Let all wives therefore be careful not to administer such a temptation 2. It must be in the Lord i. e. in all lawful commands It must not extend to any thing that is against God For otherwise 't is here as in the case of other Superiours God must be obeyed rather than man If the Husband command a thing though not unlawful yet very inconvenient and imprudent let the Wife calmly and mildy shew him the inconveniencies thereof and perswade him to the contrary but if she cannot win him by fair intreaties let her not finally refuse to obey nothing but the unlawfulnesse of the command being a sufficient warrant for that And further she must manifest her obedience in two things 1. In being willing to be admonished of her husband in case of any failing not returning a snappish answer again but readily reforming what is amisse 2. In being willing to be advised by him Not but that she may advise him in some cases and on some occasions For what a servant may do much more may a wife do as we find 2 King 5.3 1 Sam. 16 15 16. but this must be done with wisdom and discretion The admonition must be given seasonably not as Physick in a fit It must be done with that softnesse and mildness that it may appear 't is love and not anger that makes her to speak 4. And lastly She is to be a meet helper to him both in spiritual and temporal concernments 1. In the mannaging of domestical affairs the house being her proper sphear Tit. 2.5 The Apostle saies Wives should be keepers at home Not daughters of Dinah but of Sarah They must have a vigilant and watchful eye over the affairs of the Family They must guide the house as 't is 1 Tim 5.14 Every wise woman Solomon saies Prov. 14 1. buildeth her house but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands Prov. 31 27. She looketh well to the waies of her houshold and eateth not the bread of Idlenesse 2. She must bear a part
bread of Idlenesse V. 28. Her children arise up and call her blessed her husband also and he praiseth her V. 29. Many daughters have done vertuously but thou excellest them all V. 30. Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised V. 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates CHAP. XII Of the Duties of Masters and Servants First Of the Duties of Masters MAsters ought to be careful of these things I. To instruct their Servants to inform them in the right knowledge of God and the things that concern their salvation To Catechize them to pray with them and for them to bring them to the publick Ordinances and cause them to observe the Lords Day To exhort them to private prayer and reading the Word and to be diligent and conscientious in their places c. Gen. 18.19 I know that my servant Abraham will teach his Family But of this I have spoken more in the Tenth Chapter of the Duties of Governours of Families II. To give them a good example A wife Carriage and a pious honest unblameable Conversation does much tend to the bettering of servants If the Master be a swearer a company keeper a prophaner of the Lords day have no prayers in his Family be a slighter and neglecter of Gods Worship and Service 't is madnesse for such an one to expect a sober Family III. To command them onely just and lawful things things equal as the Apostle speaks Col. 4.1 and to require of them only such service as they may well do with moderate care and industry and that which other servants of like condition with them usually perform A Master must not overtask his Servants nor oppress them with labours so that they shall have no time to bestow on their souls which is a ruling over them with rigour as 't is called Lev. 25.43 IV. To allow them wholsom fitting and sufficient food convenient rest and moderate refreshment that they may do their work with the more cheerfulnesse V. In time of sicknesse to take care that things necessary for their recovery be not wanting to them such as fitting Diet Physick and Attendance A Master at such a time is in place of a Parent Mat. 8.5 6 The Centurion went to Christ to heal his servant VI. To encourage them in well-doing by using them with that kindnesse and bounty which their Piety faithfulnesse and diligence deserves VII To admonish and reprove them when they do amisse and that not only in faults against themselves wherein few Masters are backward but also and more especially in faults against God whereat every Master ought to be more troubled than at those which tend only to his own losse or inconvenience The dishonour of God or the hazard of the meanest mans soul being infinitely more worthy our disquiet than any thing of the other kind can be Therefore when Masters or Mistresses are presently on fire for any little negligence and fault of a servant towards themselves and yet can without trouble see them run into great sins and miscarriages against God 't is a sign they consider their own concernments too much and Gods Honour and their servants souls too little But as 't is the duty of Masters to admonish and reprove their servants in case of fault so they must also look to do it in a due manner i. e. so as may be most likely to do good not in passion and rage which can never work the servant to any thing but the despising and hating of them Their rebukes must be just sparing moderate Eph 6 9. Forbearing threatning or moderating threatning as some render the Word They must reprove in such a sober and grave manner as may convince them of their faults and may plainly shew them that 't is love and good will to their souls and a desire of their amendment that makes them thus reprove them But if no warnings nor reproofs will restrain them from ill courses neither will they be corrected by words as 't is Prov. 29.19 then in due circumstances moderate correction of another sort may not be inexpedient VIII To listen to their just grievances and redresse them Job 31.13 If I did despise the cause of my man-servant or of my maid-servant when they contended with me v. 14. What then shall I do when God riseth up and when he visiteth what shall I answer him IX And Lastly to pay them their wages and justly to perform to them those conditions on which they were hired And that Masters may be the more careful and conscientious in these things let them consider 1. They have a Master in Heaven who is Omniscient righteous and just to whom they must give an account of the usage of their meanest servant on earth Eph. 6.9 And ye Masters do the same things to your servants farbearing threatning knowing that your Master also is in Heaven neither is there respect of persons with him Do the same things i. e. That which is good and right and shall be rewarded of the Lord. For Service give due recompense for good will in serving return good will by encouraging if Servants be faithful be ye good and gentle if they obey you in the Lord do ye command them in the Lord i. e. Only things just equal and pleasing to God 2. They and their Servants are of the same mould all of the earth as to the body and their Servants have reasonable souls capable of Grace here and Glory hereafter as well as they They should not therefore use them like slaves They should not carry themselves imperiously harshly churlishly and Nabal-like unto them 3. Those Servants that are truly gracious are Gods freemen and so fellow servants with their converted Masters in respect of God They are members of the same mystical body whereof Christ is the Head and may have a greater measure of Grace here and so a higher place in Heaven a greater degree of Glory hereafter than their Masters 4. And Lastly let them consider how easily God could have set them in their servants place and their servants in theirs And therefore let them give them such usage as themselves would think fit and reasonable had God disposed them into the condition of Servants Psal 101.2 I will behave my self wisely in a perfect way I will walk within my house with a perfect heart V. 6. Mine eies shall be upon the faithful of the Land that they may dwell with me he that walketh in a perfect way he shall serve me V. 7. He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight Col. 4.1 Masters give unto your servants that which is just and equal knowing that ye also have a Master in Heaven Eph. 6 9. And ye Masters do the same things unto them forbearing threatning knowing that your Master also is in Heaven neither is there respect of
may serve the Lord in newness of life all their daies And if this be the duty of Believers and Christian Parents under the Gospel it will thence follow that those that wilfully neglect it as much as in them lies do withhold their Children from Christ debar them of the blood of Sprinkling keep them from the blessing leave them under the curse cast them out of Gods Family and dangerously expose them to the Adversary both of God and man II. The Second Duty of Parents is to teach and instruct their children to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Eph. 6.4 Having given them up to Christ by Baptism let them imagine they hear our blessed Saviour saying to them as Pharoahs Daughter said to Moses's Mother Exod. 2.19 Bring up this child for me c. They must as Solomon speaks Prov. 22.6 Train up their Children in the way they should go They must have a special care to provide that they may be rightly instructed and educated As soon therefore as they come to the use of reason they are to be instructed in those things that concern their everlasting welfare They are by little and little to be taught all those things which God hath commanded them as their duty to perform As also what abundance of joy and comfort they will find in the practise of them and what glorious rewards God hath provided for them if they do them and what grievous punishments if they do them not These things ought to be early instilled into their minds which like new vessels do usually keep the savour of that which is first put into them The seeds and principles of Religion and vertue are to be sown in them betimes and their minds possess'd with a love of goodnesse and an abhorrence and detestation of evil and wickednesse as that which is shamefull and abominable If they be not thus early acquainted with the waies of God the devil that arch enemy of souls will be ready and forward enough to instill his wicked principles into them and to blow up the corruption of their natures and hurry them on in waies leading down to endlesse perdition And what a sad account will those Parents give to God who have neglected their duty in this kinde suffering their children to remain almost as rude and ignorant and unacquainted with the principles of Christian Religion and their duty to God and man as if they had been born among Pagans and Infidels III. A Third duty of Parents is To bless their children and that 1. By their prayers They should by daily and earnest prayers commend them to Gods favour and blessing craving all needfull mercies both temporal and spiritual for them Children of many prayers seldom miscarry 2. By labouring to be such persons themselves so truly Religious that a blessing may descend from them on their posterity This is frequently promised in the Scripture to Godly men That their seed shall be blessed The best course any Parents can take to intail a blessing on their children is to be truly gracious themselves IV. They ought to set them a good example else all their precepts and counsels will do no good How many Parents are there that by their wicked conversation do corrupt and deprave their own children This Consideration laies a most strict tie and obligation upon all Parents to lead an holy and religious life else they do not only hazzard their own souls but indanger their childrens also And what an inhumane cruelty is that V. They must watch over them and by a prudent discipline govern them and guard their education 1. Encouraging them when they do well and winning them by love and a fair and kind carriage that they may delight to do their duties Some Parents by too much austerity and harshnesse and a rigorous use of their parentall authority provoke and exasperate their children so that they dread coming into their presence and have no heart to study to please them seeing they will afford them no countenance This is contrary to what the Apostle prescribes Col. 3.21 Parents provoke not your children to wrath c. 2. If fair means perswasions and encouragements will not prevail nor make them mind their duties then another course must be taken Sober yet sharp reproof must be used If that fail too then correction becomes necessary For in this case as Solomon saies He that spareth his rod hateth his son Prov. 13.24 'T is a cruell and foolish fondnesse to spare stripes when all other means have been unsuccessfull But this correction should be 1. Timely before children have been suffered to run on so long that they have got a habit to evil and have contracted a stubbornnesse of Will 2. Moderate not exceeding the quality of the fault nor the tendernesse of the child 3. Not inflicted in anger for then the Child will think he is corrected not so much for his fault as because his Father is angry He must therefore be made sensible of his fault shewed the evil and danger of it and directed how to amend it and this is the way with Gods blessing to reform him VI. They must maintain them and allow them a competency according to their estates for their comfortable subsistence Some Parents are of such a covetous humour they cannot abide to part with any thing almost as long as they live And thereby 1. Lessen their Childrens Affection towards them so that some have proceeded so far as to wish their Parents death Which though it be such a horrible sin as no provocation from a Parent can excuse in a child yet 't is also a fault in a Parent to give such a temptation 2. It puts them upon shifts and sharking tricks to maintain themselves and acquaints them with bad company and makes them surfeit the sooner when they come to their estates 3. The Parents hereby loose that contentment which they might have in seeing their Children live prosperously and comfortably which is such a joy and contentment that none but a Miser or Earth-worm would exchange for that poor pleasure of having Money in the Chest VII They must provide some good and honest profession or some fit way of employment for them that so they may be serviceable in their generation to God and the World and may avoid Idleness that great snare of the Devil VIII They must lay up for them and provide for them as God shall give means as 't is 2 Cor. 12.14 The children ought not to lay up for the Parents but the Parents for the children But let the Parent be careful to get that wealth honestly which he makes his childes portion lest a curse go along with it Let him satisfie himself to make such provisions for his children as God shall enable him honestly to make A little honestly got being better than great riches gotten unjustly and unrighteously Prov. 16.8 Better is a little with righteousnesse than great revenues without right IX And lastly
Counsel of their Parents 2. By obeying their lawful Commands most gladly and chearfully doing those things that may bring joy and comfort to them and carefully avoiding what they apprehend will grieve or afflict them And that out of Conscience and in obedience to God who enjoyns it and not meerly from some outward advantages or benefits to themselves as too many children do This is not only contained in the fifth Commandment but expresly enjoyned in other places of Scripture Col. 3.20 Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Eph. 6.1 Children obey your Parents in the Lord for this is right In the former place 't is in all things In the other in the Lord i. e. If their commands are not contrary to Gods for in that case our duty to God must be preferred If any Parent shall be so wicked as to command his Child to steal or lie or do any wicked thing the Child does not offend against his Duty if he disobeys Only let him do it in such a modest and respectful manner that it may appear that 't is Conscience and not stubbornnesse that moves him to refuse Obedience 3. In bearing patiently their reproofs and submitting to their corrections and reforming thereupon what is amisse Prov. 29.17 Correct thy son and he shall give thee rest yea he shall give delight unto thy soul Heb. 12.9 Furthermore we have had Fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence Shall we not much more be in subjection to the Father of Spirits and live Prov. 13.1 A wise Son heareth his Fathers instruction but a scorner heareth not rebuke 4. In forbearing to do any thing of moment without craving their advice and counsel especially in the businesse of marriage For of all acts of disobedience that of marrying against the consent of Parents is one of the highest For as a late Author well observes Children are so much the goods possessions of their Parents that they cannot without a kind of theft giveaway themselves without the allowance of those that have such a right in them And therefore we see under the Law the Maid that had made any vow was not suffered to perform it without the consent of her Parent Numb 30.5 The right of the Parent was thought of force enough to cancell and make void the Obligation even of a vow and therefore surely it ought to be so much considered by Children as to keep them from making any Contract whereby that right is infringed III. Gratitude and Thankfulnesse which they must expresse 1. In a hearty affectionate acknowledgment of their love and care over them Certainly those Children that duly weigh how their Parents have been the Instruments under God not only of bringing them into the world but of susteining and supporting them after and do further consider the cares and fears that go to the bringing up of a Child will judge that thankfulnesse is but a moderate return for so great benefits 2. In ministring to their necessities of what kind soever whether weakness or sickness of body decayednesse of understanding poverty and lownesse of estate In all these cases the Child is bound according to his ability to relieve and help his Parents and thereby as much as in him lies to recompence their care love and kindness towards him As his Parent bare with him when a child so he must bear with his Parent though froward and twice a Child and though God should raise him in dignity above him yet that must not cancel his Duty towards him nor make him with some base disposition'd and wicked Children ashamed to own him In Gen. 47 12. we find that wealthy Joseph nourished his Father and Brethren in want and the same duty the Apostle enjoyns 1 Tim. 5.4 But if any widow have children or nephews let them learn first to shew Piety at home and to requite their Parents for that is good and acceptable before God And our Saviour himself when he left this world commended his Mother to the care of his Beloved Disciple Joh. 19.26 27. There is one thing more which I may couch under this Head wherein such children as are really good and truly religious themselves may expresse a high degree of Gratitude if the case so be as it sometimes happens that their Parents are as yet unacquainted with or negligent of the great concernments of their souls Now in such a case as this What a high Office of filial Duty is it for a child in a wise and humble manner to insinuate into his Parent such things as may with the blessing of God tend to his everlasting welfare and so be an instrument of his new birth who under God gave him his first birth and being in this world This is a Duty wherein some Children should take themselves more concern'd than usually they do 3. In praying for them The debt Children owe to their Parents is so great that they being not able to satisfie it themselves they ought earnestly to beg of the Lord that he would please to recompence it by multiplying his Graces in them and his blessings both spiritual and temporal upon them and to requite their care and love a thousand fold into their bosoms 4. In covering their infirmities 'T is the Duty and will be the endeavour of good and ingenuous children to cover and conceal the infirmities of their Parents with Shem and Japhet and not with cursed Cham to publish and disclose them Gen. 9.23 How detestable is it for Children to deride and scoffe at the infirmities of their Parents 5. And lastly By imitating their good example Whatever was good vertuous and commendable in their Parents let Children imitate But their vices and miscarriages let them decline and not entail them on their posterity Let them remember what a dismal sound is in those words Jeroboam the son of Nebat who made Israel to sin 2 King 3.3 There are two great Motives to presse Children to a careful observance of these things 1. 'T is right and just and that which should be Eph 6.1 And 't is well pleasing to the Lord Col. 3.20 2. It has a promise of reward Eph. 6.2 3. Honour thy Father and Mother which is the first Commandment with promise that it may be well with thee and that thou maist live long on the earth The words in Exod. 20.12 may be rendred Honour thy Father and thy Mother that they viz. By their prayers may prolong thy daies Parents prayers are great blessings to children And further consider what Solomon saith Prov. 10.27 The fear of the Lord prolongeth daies And Godlinesse hath the promise of this life and that which is to come 1 Tim. 4.8 If God take away some good and dutiful children betimes out of this life they are no losers by it For God is better to them than his promise In stead of a long lease in this life he gives them present possession of a free-hold
of much better value in the Kingdom above Col. 3.20 Children obey your Parents in all things for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Eph. 6.1 Children obey your Parents in the Lord for this is right V. 2. Honour thy Father and thy Mother which is the first Commandment with promise V. 3. That it may be well with thee and thou maist live long on the earth Prov. 23.22 Hearken unto thy Father that begat thee and despise not thy Mother when she is old Prov. 1.8 My Son hear the Instruction of thy Father and forsake not the Law of thy Mother V. 9. For they shall be an Ornament of Grace unto thine Head and chains about thy neck Luke 2.51 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was subject unto them Heb. 12.7 If ye endure chastning God dealeth with you as with Sons for what son is he whom the Father chasteneth not V 9. Furthermore we have had Fathers of our flesh which corrected us and we gave them reverence shall we not much more be in subjection unto the Father of Spirits and live Mal. 1.6 A Son honoureth his Father and a servant his Master If I then be a Father where is mine honour and if I be a Master where is my fear saith the Lord of Hosts c. 1 King 2.19 Bathsheba therefore went unto King Solomon to speak unto him for Adonijah and the King rose up to meet her and bowed himself unto her Gen. 27.34 And when Esau heard the words of his Father he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry and said unto his Father blesse me even me also O my Father Mat. 15.4 For God commanded saying Honour thy Father and Mother and he that curseth Father or Mother let him die the death Prov. 30.17 The eye that mocketh at his Father and despiseth to obey his Mother the ravens of the valley shall pick it out and the young Eagle shall eat it Lev. 20.9 For every one that curseth his Father or his mother shall surely be put to death he hath cursed his Father or his Mother his blood shall be upon him Exod. 21.15 And he that smiteth his Father or his Mother shall be surely put to death Prov. 20.20 Whoso curseth his Father or his Mother his Lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness Prov. 13.1 A wise son heareth his Fathers instruction but a scorner heareth not rebuke 1 Sam. 2.25 Notwithstanding they hearkened not unto the voyce of their Father because the Lord would slay them Gen. 47.12 And Joseph nourished his Father and his Brethren and all his Fathers houshold with bread according to their Families 1 Tim. 5.4 But if any widow have children or nephews let them learn first to shew Piety at home and to requite their Parents for that is good and acceptable before God Mat. 15.5 But ye say whosoever shall say to his Father or his Mother it is a gift by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me V. 6. And honour not his Father or Mother he shall be free thus have ye made the Commandments of God of none effect by your Traditions CHAP. XIV Of the Duties of such as are in Office and of Inferiours ALL those that are in any Office or place of publick trust ought to be very careful to discharge the duties of their respective places faithfully diligently and patiently with an upright heart and a right tempered zeal aiming at the Glory of God and endeavouring that Piety Justice and peace may be preserved and maintained among men They should consider how much more easie it is to bear the anger and displeasure of men for the conscionable discharge than the wrath of God for the unconscionable neglect of their Duties Exod. 18.21 Moreover thou shalt provide out of all the people able men such as fear God men of Truth hating Covetousnesse and place such over them to be Rulers of Thousands and Rulers of Hundreds and Rulers of Fifties and Rulers of Tens 2 Sam. 23.3 The God of Israel said the Rock of Israel spake to me he that ruleth over men must be just ruling in the fear of God Deut. 1.13 Take ye wise men and understanding and known among your Tribes and I will make them Rulers over you Rom. 12.8 He that ruleth with diligence Rom. 13.3 For Rulers are not a terrour to good works but to the evil wilt thou then not be afraid of the power do that which is good and thou shalt have praise of the same V. 4. For he is the Minister of God to thee for good but if thou do that which is evil be afraid for he beareth not the sword in vain for he is the Minister of God a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doth evil 1 Sam. 2.30 Them that honour me I will honour and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed The Duties of Inferiours Inferiours ought to yeild all due subjection to those Magistrates and Governours God hath set over them remembring that Magistracy is Gods Ordinance and none but Libertines think that Religion freeth them from Subjection thereunto They are to consider how sharply the Apostle in 2 Pet. 2.10 Reproves those that despise Government that are presumptuous self-will'd that are not afraid to speak evil of Dignities Subjection 't is a hard duty to corrupt Nature Man naturally is like the wild Asses Colt as Zophar speaks Job 11.12 And that both for the rudeness of his mind and untamedness of his Affections He would fain be free and yokelesse Being proud he loves not the Superiority of others And being licentious loves not to be restrained by others He would neither have his heart subject to God nor his actions to man He would have none to be Lord over him as 't is Psal 12.3 But this despising of Dominions is flatly against the injunctions of Gods Word Rom. 13.1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers for there is no power but of God the powers that be are ordained of God Tit. 3.1 Put them in mind to be subject unto Principalities and Powers to obey Magistrates to be ready to every good work And 't is a trespasse against the common good of humane Societies Let all Inferiours therefore in obedience to God for the honour of true Religion and for the preserving Order and good Government in the world make Conscience of these three Duties 1. To pray for Magistrates 2. To honour their Persons 3. To yield all due Subjection and obedience unto them Jude v. 8. Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh despise Dominion speak evil of Dignities Rom. 13.7 Render therefore to all their dues tribute to whom tribute is due custom to whom custom fear to whom fear honour to whom honour 1 Pet. 2.13 Submit your selves to every Ordinance of man for the Lords sake whether it be to the King as Supream V. 14. Or unto Governours as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evil doers and for the
10 41. He that receiveth a Prophet in the name of a Prophet shall receive a Prophets reward c. CHAP. XVI Of Christian and Brotherly Reproof THat excellent and Christian Duty of reproving and admonishing an offending Brother is in these daies too much neglected and grown out of use though it be the reallest good turn that can be done from one man to another Men are forward enough to scoffe and deride the sinful miscarriages of others behind their backs but few there are that make Conscience of reproving them seriously and soberly to their faces When people fall out and are angry then ordinarily out comes all that they know and perhaps more too in a rude and passionate manner to disgrace each other But how seldom do they admonish one another in love in order to their amendment and the saving of their souls Being therefore to treat of this duty in this Chapter let me premise that there is a double admonition 1. Paternal or authoritative 2. Fraternal or charitative Of this latter onely I intend to discourse here and I shall shew 1. What great and pressing Arguments there are for it 2. Shall endeavour to remove the main prejudices and objections that lie against it 3. Shall shew how and in what manner it is to be performed 4. Give some reasons why it ought to be exceeding kindly taken by those to whom it is performed and whose benefit is thereby intended Of the first the Arguments for this Duty I. We have Commands for it both in the old and new Testament Levit. 19 17. Thou shalt not hate thy Brother in thine heart thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour and not suffer sin upon him Mat. 18.15 Moreover if thy Brother shall trespass against thee go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone if he shall hear thee thou hast gained thy Brother Eph. 5.11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darknesse but rather reprove them II. Hereby we may much advance Gods Glory may discountenance sin may promote Piety in the world Many sins may be suppressed if standers by would but bear witnesse against them and give check unto them by a wise and mild reproof If we can but perswade men to break off their sins and embrace the waies of Holinesse we shall thereby bring much honour and glory unto God And what should not we poor Creatures do to advance the Glory of so Gracious a Father III. 'T is the most blessed and charitable work we can possibly be employed in viz. the rescuing of precious souls out of the hands of Satan and saving them from everlasting perdition Jam. 5.20 He which converteth the sinner from the errour of his way shall save a soul from death and shall hide a multitude of sins We read Exod. 23.4 If thou meet with thine enemies Oxe or his Asse going astray thou shalt surely bring it back to him again V. 5. If thou see the Asse of him that hateth thee lying under his burden and wouldst forbear to help him thou shalt surely help with him Should we take pity and care of our neighbours Oxe or Asse yea though it were our very enemies and not of his Soul If thou hearest men swear tosse Gods Name vainly and lightly in their mouths jest with his Word talk filthily deride Holinesse slander good men plead for prophannesse or seest them walk in unconscionable courses Oughtest thou not to admonish such men and to intreat them to bethink themselves and to consider whither such courses tend If thou shouldest see a man tottering on the brink of some deep and dismal pit where he must needs perish if he fall in hadst not thou a hard heart if thou wouldst not catch hold of him and endeavour to stay him Alas Why do not men consider then what it is to fall into the bottomlesse pit of Hell and to lie there in everlasting burnings IV. We shall hereby keep our selves from partaking in other mens sins By neglect of this Duty we may become accessary to mens going on in sinful courses and dishonouring God and so draw upon our selves the guilt of their sin and ruine But if we faithfully admonish offenders we shall hereby deliver our own soul and if they perish they perish to themselves Paul could not have said Acts 20.26 I am pure from the bloud of all men if he had not been a faithful reprover as well as a diligent instructer V. If this Duty were conscientiously practis'd it would rob Satan of one of his greatest advantages to destroy souls which is the fashionablenesse and creditablenesse of Sin It would discredit sin and bring Christianity into reputation It would drive away that frivolous impertinent empty Conversation that wanton noisom discourse that passes for the only entertainment of this corrupt world It would drive away backbiting judging censuring rejoycing in the folly and shame of others which are the very bane and shame of converse and society VI. The advantage is great that will acrue unto us if we discharge this Duty faithfully Dan. 12.3 They that be wise shall shine as the brightnesse of the firmament and they that turn many to righteousnesse as the Stars for ever and ever Prov. 24.25 To them that rebuke the wicked shall be delight and a good blessing shall come upon them A great delight will arise in their souls from the testimony of their Consciences that they have endeavoured to discharge their Duty and a good blessing from the Lord will come upon them for it So much of the Arguments for this Duty I come now to the second thing Namely to remove the prejudices and answer the Objections that are conceiv'd against it Obj. 1. 'T is hard and painful and uneasie to flesh and bloud to practise this Duty I shall be thought uncivil rude impertinent in most companies where I come I shall be laughed at for my pains or jeer'd for my precisenesse and 't is hard to bear disgrace or I shall get ill will and anger from the party I reprove and I am fearful of giving offence c. Sol. Hath God commanded thee a Duty and wilt thou not do it for fear of offending man Is it not a sad case we should more fear to displease a sinful creature by admonishing him of his sin than to offend God by neglecting our duty This Objection supposes a man loath to serve God or his brother of that which costs him any thing Art thou to let him drop into Hell quietly for fear of angring him or deriving some of his displeasure upon thee Art thou out of fearfulnesse or bashfulnesse out of a sluggish cowardize and want of zeal to the Glory of God and the good of thy brother to be silent and to comply with him in his sin and let him go undisturbedly to Hell The civility of not reproving a brother when there is need amounts to this to have the heart to see him be poison'd and not dare present
him with an Antidote least that should let him know he is conceiv'd to be in danger of perishing Should such an irrational custom come into the world to make it uncivil for Schollers when they meet together to talk of books allowing them any other kind of discourse but that which tends to the bettering one another What were to be done by Students in this case but to take up a resolution to bear down this irrational custom by bringing in the contrary So truly if it be the civility and mode of the world to talk prophanely to scoffe at Religion to deride strictnesse c. and must be counted rudenesse and unmannerlinesse to discharge this duty of admonishing an offending brother or speaking any thing to him that may tend to the saving his Soul What should all sober Christians do in this case but even resolve unanimously to bear down such an irreligious custom which betraies many souls to everlasting ruine and to be no more pusillanimous and faint-hearted but faithfully to practise this excellent though disrellished duty maugre all opposition from the world And this were the way to bring Piety into repute and to make sin sneak and hide its head when it shall be seen that Religion is own'd and openly avowed by the Professors of it Obj. 2. To reprove offenders is to little purpose they will amend never the sooner Sol. Who art thou that thus repliest against God Do the Duty he enjoins thee and leave the successe to him Canst thou tell how or when or by what means God will work upon the heart of a sinner Though thy reproof should do no good for the present yet thou knowest not what impression it may make and what operation it may have afterward The seed may take root in the ground and after many daies spring up though it do not instantly Many sinners are of a proud humour and will not for the present acknowledge any crime least that should passe for a submission yet afterwards possibly upon sober judging and considering the reasonablenesse and equity of the reproof may be willing to amend that privatly upon their own choice which they would not do upon their brothers admonition We must have patience and in meeknesse instruct those that oppose themselves if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the Truth as the Apostle directs us 2 Tim. 2.25 Men that have taken heart and cast off this sluggish Cowardize which alwaies pretends a Lion in the way when any duty is to be done have not repented it in the end but found much comfort in the performing of it Obj. 3. Why should I meddle in other mens matters and so be accounted a busie-body I will look to my self let them look to their own Souls Sol. This is an ordinary excuse but it savours of little Grace How much comes this short of Cain's speech Am I my Brothers keeper St Paul teaches directly the contrary Phil. 2.4 Look not every man on his own things but every man on the things of others We are not born only to consider our selves but in our sphear to endeavour the good of others This coynesse tendernesse niceness of reproving any whom we may hope to amend by it whence springs it but from an inordinate self love that will not venture the censure of a busie-body c. for the safety of a perishing Brother though we have Gods Command to back us which indeed should be a back of steel unto us though we meet with some temporal inconveniencies in performing obedience to it Obj. 4. I am but a private Christian and unlearned I cannot speak so as others can This duty belongs to Ministers I hope I may be excused Sol. This is a duty not only of Ministers who are to do it by vertue of their Office but of every brother or common Christian by vertue of Gods Command Lev. 19.17 'T is a work of Charity a common Office of one neighbour to another Thou art not therefore so unlearn'd but thou knowest that no unrighteous man shall inherit the Kingdom of God That all Liars drunkards swearers whoremongers sorcerers adulterers murderers thieves extortioners covetous envious malicious persons c. that break not off their sins by timely repentance shall have their portion in that Lake that burneth with fire and brimstone for ever As we read 1 Cor. 6.9 Gal. 5.21 Rev 21.8 Oughtest thou not therefore to tell guilty persons of their danger and intreat them to bethink themselves where such courses will end and to have some pity upon their own souls Alas 'T is not so much want of knowledge as want of zeal to Gods Glory and want of compassion to their neighbours souls that makes men so negligent of this duty Obj. 5. But is this a duty incumbent upon me at all times whenever I see or hear a brother offend Must I not expect convenient seasons to do it in Sol. 'T is true he that is bound to reprove is bound also to do it as wisely and prudently as he can Therefore for the season of reproof a Learned man sets down this Rule Whenever admonition may probably do good to the person to whom it is designed and not harm either to him or any other then it cannot be unseasonable Whatever censure falls on me it matters not so the brother reproved receive Benefit thereby and I were the person from whom it was due to him Thus he The more private a reproof is in probability the more effectual it will be yet a publick calm reproof when the offence is publick may besides the good of the person to whom it is address'd prove beneficial to the whole company 1. It may give them an example which possibly they may transcribe from thy practise though they have not from Gods Precept 2. It may arraign and condemn the like vices in other men which are now reprehended but in one 'T is good therefore to take the present season of reproving except there be hope of springing some happier opportunity for this performance at some other time which may make it more prudent and charitable to defer it till then But as Felix dismist Paul for that time and promised when he had a more convenient season to send for him yet is never read to have done it or as the sordid scandalous Miser quarrels with somewhat in almost every object of Charity he meets with to excuse himself from Alms-giving so we must take heed that we do not pretend unseasonableness for our excuse when 't is meerly our cowardize or the coldnesse of our Christian Charity that is the true cause of our neglecting this duty Life is uncertain we may die or the party may dy then he is for ever out of the reach of our Charity The longer he lies in sin the more God is dishonoured the more wrath is treasured up the harder his heart ordinarily growes and his recovery will be the more difficult Therefore St. Jude speaking of secure
remembring that Charity thinketh no evil but believeth all things hopeth all things c. 1 Cor. 13.7 Yet labour from false rumours and uncertain scandals to raise Arguments for greater circumspection for time to come Seeing men are so apt to wait for our haltings we ought to be very careful how we walk XI By all means forbear bitter and reproachful Language Many reproofs are quite lost because there is more of passion in them than compassion Though there must be many times some warmth in a reproof yet it must not be scalding hot Such is the nature of most men that they are apt to be won with love and mildnesse but angry and vilifying terms do make them more stubborn and obstinate Therefore the Apostle saith the servant of the Lord must not strive but be gentle unto all men patient in meekness instructing them that oppose themselves 2 Tim. 2.25 Abundance of meeknesse and gentlenesse and especially patience is needful for those that have to do with sinners in this kind 'T is ordinary for them to grow testy and angry and fall foul with the reprover And if you should be angry too then all hope of doing good is lost the business will end in an uncivil storm and tempest Come therefore resolv'd before hand to bear all things and endure all things If the party reproved storm at you let tears of compassion rather drop from your eies than words of anger and reproach come forth of your mouth XII When thou hast discharged thy duty go to God and pray earnestly to him for successe Ply the Throne of Grace in secret by fervent prayer that God would prosper thy endeavours for the Glory of his Name and the recovery amendment and salvation of the party reproved To begin and end this duty with prayer is the way to engage God in it I come now in the last place to give some Reasons why this excellent and most charitable duty ought to be exceeding kindly taken by them to whom it is performed 1. Consider Faithful admonition is the most precious part of friendship the reallest and kindest good turn one man can do for another David cal's reproof a precious oyl Psal 141.5 Solomon an ear-ring of gold an ornament of fine gold Prov. 25.12 Our blessed Saviour a pearl Mat. 7.6 But notwithstanding all this how few are there that can or will bear it patiently Go about to admonish a man of a fault and tell him of an errour he presently looks on you as his enemy You are as Paul tels the Galatians chap. 4.16 become his enemy because you tell him the truth Such a pride there is ordinarily in mens hearts they must not be told of any thing that is amisse though it be with no other intent but that they may amend it A strange madness I confesse this is and the same that would be in a sick man to fly in the face of him that comes to cure him on a phansie that he disparag'd him by supposing him sick Certainly he were not your friend that should see your house on fire and would not call to you and tell you of it for fear of disturbing you out of your sleep None hate you worse then they that suffer sin upon you This is the true and great use of friendship to admonish one another and to endeavour the bettering one of another else as one well observes 't is but an empty formal juicelesse thing Dives in hell was more charitable to his wild brethren on earth then some people will allow us to be to them for he would have had a messenger dispatch'd to them to admonish and warn them that they come not to that place of torments Luke 16.27 18. But some people will not indure we should admonish them though we put our selves upon a very uneasie and unpleasing task for their good 2. Rejection of reproof is a great aggravation of sin and commonly a forerunner of judgement 'T is a despising not of men only but of God It fortifies a man in his sins it raises such mounts and bulworks about them that no man can come to assault them And if we may believe Solomon destruction will not fail to attend it Prov. 29.1 He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck shall suddenly be destroyed and that without remedy Refractorinesse to faithfull reproof can look for nothing but ruine 'T is as if a man should be riding post to hell and will indure no stop That people was in a desperate state Hosea 4.4 when God gave forth that prohibition Let no man reprove another for this people are as they that strive with the Priest And Eli's sons were in a sad case when they refused to hearken to the voice of their father The text saies 1 Sam. 2.25 They hearkened not unto the voice of their father because the Lord would slay them 'T is a shrewd sign God hath left men to themselves when they reject reproof 3. And lastly 'T is a good sign in conjunction with others of a gracious heart for a man to take reproof and admonition well and to amend his errours and failings thereupon Prov 15.5 He that regardeth reproof is prudent In Psal 141.5 You may find how well holy David took reproof Let the righteous smite me and it shall be a kindnesse and let him reprove me and it shall be an excellent Oyl which shall not break my head You may read in the Life of that good man Gerson that he rejoyced in nothing more than to be lovingly and brotherly reprov'd by any I shall conclude this with that excellent saying of the wise man Prov. 27.6 Faithful are the wounds of a Friend but the kisses of an Enemy are deceitfull Lev. 19.17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour and not suffer sin upon him Prov. 25.12 As an ear-ring of Gold and an Ornament of fine Gold so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear Eccles 7.5 It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise than for a man to hear the Song of Fools Prov. 9.7 He that reproveth a scorner getteth to himself shame and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot V. 8. Reprove not a scorner lest he hate thee rebuke a wise man and he will love thee Prov. 15 12. A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him neither will he go unto the wise V. 31. The ear that beareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise Prov. 17.10 A reproof entreth more into a wise man than an hundred stripes into a fool Prov. 28.23 He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue Eph. 5.11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but rather reprove them Mat. 18.15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone if he shall hear thee thou hast gained thy brother V. 16.