A Bartholmew Fairing for Parentes to bestow vpon their sonnes and daughters and for one friend to giue vnto another Shevving that children are not to marie without the consent of their parentes in whose povver and choise it lieth to prouide wiues and husbandes for their sonnes and daughters Wherin is sufficiently prooued what in this point is the office of the fathers and in like maner declared the part and duty of all obedient children By Iohn Stockwood Minister and preacher of Tunbridge Ierem. 29.6 Take you wiues and beget sonnes and daughters and take wiues for your sons and giue your daughters to husbandes that they may beare sons daughters that you may be increased there and not diminished LONDON Printed by Iohn Wolfe for Iohn Harrison the yonger dwelling in Pater Noster-rowe at the signe of the golden Anchor 1589. To the right worshipfull M. Thomas Skeuington of Skeuington Esquire at this present high Sheriffe of Leicester-shire and one of hâ—r Maiesties Iustices of the peace there Iohn Stockewood Minister and preacher of the worde of God at Tunbridge in Kent wisheth all felicitie of mind and bodie through Iesus Christ our most merciful redeemer CHildren right worshipfull as we al wel know when their parentes or any of those with whoÌ„ they haue any familiarity goe vnto any faire vse commonly at their taking their iourney to say vnto them I pray you bring me home a Fayring And not only children are for the most part thus affected but we see it also to be the fashion of others of greater grouth further yeares when as at faires they meete with their friendes and acquaintance to bee begging and asking of them What will you giue me for a fairing And the curtesie that is this way bestowed be it in a maner neuer so small and simple is notwithstanding wel accepted and kindly taken from the hand of the giuer as being a signe and token of his good will and louing affection towardes the party on whom he doth bestowe the same This custome simply in it selfe not to be condemned although through abuse the best thinges may be peruerted I haue at this present framed my self vnto as I could for the shortnes of the time prepared this treatise discoursing vpon the office of parentes in prouiding their children of honest mariages in due season shewing at large the dutie and obedience of their sonnes and daughters in this behalfe How necessarie for al sortes of people this my trauaile such as it is may be it is not my meaning here in many wordes to dilate The generall want of performance of dutie in this respect on the one side by the parentes and on the other by their children hath bin the foster-nurse brood-mother of many great inconueniences wherwith both the Church common wealth yea and many priuate families are not a litle pestered against the which if by this my labour God of his mercie granting vnto it this blessing I may be thought to haue set downe some remedie it shal nothing greeue me to haue taken the same being glad if any way by my simple seruice I can bring any profite vno the Church of God the which howe much or how litle soeuer it bee who so shall thereby receiue any benefit next vnto God he shall be beholding vnto your worship for the same who haue bene the chiefe occasion of the publishing hereof For owing a dutie vnto you for your curtesie shewed at the request of the right honorable the Earle of Huntington my verie singular good Lord and maister I haue euer since bene deuising how I might giue out some testimonie of my gratefull remembrance of this worshipful kindnes and hauing none other meanes of greater valour I haue presumed to giue trial therof by these paper thanks whereby al posteritie may witnesse that I acknowledge my selfe to remaine a debtor vnto you for vndeserued curtesie extended towards me the which in asmuch as I am able no other waies to requite I do in al humilitie request your worship to account and reckon me in the number of those who being manie pleasured by you though hindmost peradueÌ„ture in worldlie abilitie will be found notwithstanding as forward as the formost in all dutifull and thankfull good will as one that hateth in the worlde nothing more than the most vglie and loathsome monster of ingratitude and vnthankfulnes The time falling out so fitlie with the finishing of this worke and publishing the same I haue geuen vnto it the name of a Bartholmew Fayring The reason oâ— the Title the rather by the noueltie of the title to drawe on the multitude of people that nowe out of all places of our country repaire vnto the citie to the better beholding and consideration of the matter coÌ„tained in the treatise the which as it is general and concerneth all that either are or may be parents or children so the doctrine marked heedfullie and practised accordingly caÌ„not choose but fal out auaillable vnto manie who learning here that which for the most part they were ignorant of and thought strange before will henceforth prooue to be more carefull fathers in prouiding christian mariages for their sonnes and daughters and their children more dutifull obedient in being ruled by them following of their choice and in diligent warefulnes that they intangle and bewrap not themselues in wedlocke-bands without the consent and liking of their parents Accept therfore I beseech you right worshipfull this simple present as an vnfeined token of my good will with that fauourable curtesie wherewith you are woont to imbrace others much bounden welwillers the which if you shall vouchsafe me I haue obtained my desire praying the almighty for euer to protect you Tunbridge this 20 August 1589. Your W. much bounden in al dutifull and most thankful good will Iohn Stockwood To all godlie Parentes with their like vertuous children and all other the Christian Readers into whose handes this book may come increase of true knowledge sincere practise of the same through Iesus Christ IT is not for nothing right curteous and christian readers that we haue bene by our Sauiour Christ so many yeares sithens before-hand warned of the state and condition of this wofull and doting world set on fire vpon mischiefe iniquitie that the neerer it groweth and hasteneth vnto his end the worse worse it shal daily wax insomuch that the Lord when he shal come to iudgement Luk. 18.8 shall hardlie finde faith vpon the earth For such are the miseries of our times that notwithstanding the plentifull preaching of the Gospell in most places sin still raigneth in aboundance and iniquitie getteth more and more the vpper-hand insomuch that those enormities and outrages the which are condemned by the law of Nature the word of God the practise of the godlie in all ages the testimony of the Heathen and generall consent of all commendable learning are notwithstanding of many not onely laughed and iested
thē the which worketh in vs a conceiuing of such an opinion and estimation of them as that we haue an especiall respect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things neither of a care to please them or of a feare to offend them Obedience herein sheweth foorth it selfe in that willinglie without murmuring or grudging we be willing to be ordered directed guided and ruled by them being readie to do all lawfull thinges the which they command vs to refraine from those things the which they shall forbid vs. Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwaies mindful of benefits receiued and therefore carrieth continually a vigilant and watchfull eie towards the partie by whome it hath bene pleasured that no discurtesie in any case bee offered or anie occasion ministred whereby he may conceiue vnkindnes And by this familiar descriptiō of these three heades whereof standeth chieflie the honor due vnto parentes we may clearlie see that those which in wedding tarie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers do neither stand in any awfull feare of them as whō they would be lorn to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all thinges to be gouerned and aduised by them or haue any regard that they be not causers to make their friendes or parents conceiue hardlie and vnkindlie of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their duety towardes their parentes no greefe cutteth neerer vnto the heart then this when they entangle themselues contrarie vnto their minde and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankfull vnto them and so consequentlie they doe not honour them wherby they incurre and runne into the curse of God the which must without true and vnfeigned repentance pull downe vpon the heades of themselues and their families the fearfull plagues of God His heauie and hot indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine The eight reason from the place of Paule Collos 3.20 S. Paule in his epistle vnto the collossians willeth children to bee obedient vnto their parents in al things giueth a reason therof saying For that is well pleasing vnto the Lord. Out of this place I reason after this maner to prooue that the good wil of the parents must be sought for obtained by the children in their contracts of mariage Whatsoeuer pleaseth God the same ought of al children to be practised so far foorth as it concerneth their place calling but to marie with thē cōsent of parents is a thing that pleaseth God therefore children in their mariages ought to haue the consent allowance of their parēts That euerie one in his calling ought to labor to do that thing which pleaseth God I take to be a case so cleare that no man doubteth of the same so that to go about to prooue this were as needles a thing as to labor to prooue that water is moist fire is hot or that it is day at high noone If any thing in the former reason be denied it wil be this that to mary with the consent of the parents pleaseth not God the which although it be as euident apparent as the former and cānot be denied of any that hath a forehead at al for who except he cary a face of brasse can be doubtfull of this that God is well pleased with the matching of children by the consent of their parents prouided alwaies that the mariage be in his feare the which caution is to be obserued through out this whole controuersie either handled alreadie or to be touched herafter yet for the sake of the simpler sort the which of ignorāce for the most part offend in this kinde of priuie contractes I will make this point plaine also after this maner All obedience vnto parents is wel pleasing to the Lord but for the sons to take wiues the daughters to take husbands with the liking and approouing of their fathers and mothers is an especiall obedience vnto them and such as all parentes wish euen with all their heart to haue in al their children performed towards them therefore to marie with the consent of parents is such an action wherewith God is well pleased The verie wordes of Paule where he saieth Children obey your parentes in all things doe sufficientlie warrant that all obedience vnto parentes is wel pleasing vnto God and the same is likewise auouched by Paule before in the epistle vnto the Ephesians where speaking of the dutie of children he hath these words Children obey your parents in the Lord Ephes 6.1 setting downe this reason for it is right And that fathers and mothers do hold themselues obeied when their children be ruled and ordered by them in the choise of their wiues and husbands is so euident that no man can gainsay it It must therefore needes follow that God is well pleased when they do get them yoakefellowes with the consent of their parents Nay as it is trueth not to bee doubted of that God his fauour and alowance goeth alwaies with those espousals or betrothings the which are ratified and established with the assent of those that bare vs and vnto whom we doe owe our being because that herein we do perform a chiefe point of obedience the which God looketh for and requireth at our hands so on the contrarie whē we shal ioin our selues in the band of matrimony make no reckoning of the authoritie of our superiours stepping in betweene God cannot behold those bridals with a cheerefull and a smyling countenance but is displeased and frowneth at the same because that we haue forgotten ourselues in a principall part of our child-like and dutiful obedience For if we must submit our selues and lay downe our handes vnder the feet of our parentes in all things yeelding our obedience in the verie smallest causes because God hath so commanded as the Apostle fully in so many wordes doth clearly teach vs then doubtles much more in the case of marying a matter of such force importance as whereupon for the most part dependeth our making or marring we ought willinglie to put our necks vnder the wholsome yoake of their fatherlie power vpon whose consent or refusall lieth the establishing or disanulling of our handfasting our selues without their agreement thereunto But it will here be replied The ninth reason together with the answering of an obiection concerning the restraint of childrens obedience that Paule himselfe in a kind of shew of some contrarietie restreineth the general obedience of children commanded in the third to the Collossians to to bee perfourmed vnto their parentes in all thinges and draweth the same into a more straight and narrowe compasse in his Epistle vnto the Ephesians where he will haue their dutie to bee no further yeelded vnto them then in the Lord and therefore vnlesse it may
plainlie be prooued that to haue the consent of parentes in mariage is a thing commanded by the word of God children are freed set at libertie from giuing obedience thereunto I answere that the one place is a good comment and exposition vnto the other so that this precept Children obey your parentes in all things ought worthelie to bee expounded by that other Children obey your parente in the Lord that is as I expound it letting goe all other interpretations in all such thinges as are not against the Lorde or which in the Scriptures are commaunded by the Lord. Which interpretation I doe the rather imbrace because I see it to bee warranted by the answere the which Peter Iohn in the Acts doe make vnto the chiefe rulers of the Synagogue whereby they excuse themselues for not obeying their inhibition forbidding them to preach any more in the name of Iesus saying Whether it be right in the sight of God to obey you rather them God iudge ye Whereby we are taught that not onelie in the commandements of our parentes but also of all other our superiours be they Kinges rulers or Magistrates of any other condition whatsoeuer all which are comprehended vnder the name of parentes that if they inioine vs to do any thing a gainst that obedience the which we owe vnto God we are not indeed violētlie to resist but we must with patience abide such punishment as they shall lay vpon vs rather then in obeying them we should disobey God vnto whom of good right wee are bound aboue and before al others be they of neuer so high and excellent places For there is a double obedience that is a certaine first chief most soueraign obediēce the which is proper and belongeth vnto God and a secundarie or inferiour obedience the which is due and appertaining vnto men A most geneneraral rule the which ad mitteth no exception So that in all our actions what soeuer belongeth vnto this life this is a most generall rule the which admitteth or receiueth none exception God must be obeied before or rather then men To returne therefore vnto the matter in hand the obedience of children to their parentes must I grant be limitted and bounded within the railes and listes of our obedience peculier vnto God that is to say Childrē are no further to obey the commandements of their parentes then so far foorth as the same be answerable and agreable vnto the commandements of God But this neuer a whit relieueth their bad and vnfollowable course the which in marriage will be their owne caruers and make their owne choise without the consent and allowing of their parents the which besides that hath hither to bene alleaged we wil yet further more largelie and more expreslie prooue out of the word of God and confirme that so it ought to be And now are we come indeed vnto a more higher and neerer point and the which will seeme stranger both vnto a great sort of parents and also serue verie stronglie to curbe the vnbrideled stay-les affections of an infinite number of inconsiderate and vnaduised youthes if by the warrant of the word of God they may be stayd when as it shall bee plainlie laid downe vnto them that not only they are in their handfastinges making sure in mariage to haue the consent of their fathers and mothers and that not seeking for the same they breake Gods commandement but also when it shall be shewed that choise of wiues and husbands for them is not in their power but in the authoritie of their fathers and that this both in plaine wordes is set downe in the scriptures and may moreouer be prooued by many examples as a generall vse and custome to haue bene obserued not onely of the godlier sort among the Iewes but also among the gentiles which had no other direction but the law of nature When I say it shall be euidentlie prooued that the choise in mariage of husbands and wiues for their sonnes and daughters was in the Parents and not in the children I thinke there will no question at all afterwards bee made whether the consent of the parents be requisite to be had or no in the mariage of their children forasmuch as if it be not in the children to make their owne choise much lesse may they marie without their parents liking Children in mariage may not make their owne choise therefore much lesse ought they marie without their friends consent for those that of themselues may not doe the lesser cannot be said to bee at their owne libetie to doe the greater but children in matters of mariage may not do the lesser that is make their owne choise which is a lesse thing then to marie without consent therefore it must of necessitie follow that in marying they must haue the consent of their parentes That children may not make their owne choise in marying I prooue after this maner No childe may take vpon him the duetie and office of his father To make choise of husbandes and wiues for sonnes daughters in mariage is the duetie and office of fathers therefore children in mariage may not make their owne choise and so consequently may not marie without the cōsent of their fathers The first that children may not take vpon thē the office of their fathers I take as graunted The second that parents ought to take wiues vnto their sonnes and husbandes vnto their daughters I will prooue by the commandement of God in sundrie places and by manifest reason drawen from those places And in this point If I bestow the more labour I shall the rather be borne withall because it is the most waightie part of al this discourse wherin if I shal happely or rather vnhappilie of anie be deemed tedious or ouerlong the profitablenesse of the matter if God giue grace that being of ignorance in the most neglected before it may now vpon knowledge be put in diligent practise hereafter shall easily I trust procure my pardon And my good hope and earnest prayer also is that this my trauaile shall not be in vaine but that al godlie fathers and mothers seeing clearly at the length what charge by God himselfe is laide vpon them will be carefull in time to make meete choise for their children that all dutifull and obedient sonnes and daughters vnderstanding that it is no deuise of man but the expresse commandemēt of God that their fathers mothers should prouide thē wiues husbands wil cease henceforth to take vpō them the office of their parentes and with all willingnes be contēt to stand in these cases to the choice of their elders which they shall make for thē in the feare of the Lord agreably vnto his word or at least wise in no case assure themselues vnlesse themselues be sure of their consent Now let vs see the places of Scripture by which it may appeare that the choise of husbands for the daughters and of
the good wil leaue of their fathers mothers butalso if we snal look more neerlie into the cause that the choise in mariage belong vnto them Now in â—he tenth place I wil make this plaine also by one cleare testimony and witnes out of the newe Testament the which I take from out of the seauenth Chapiter of the first Epistle of S. Paul vnto the Corinthians whose wordes be these The tenth reason out of the words of Paule 1. Cor. 7.36.37.38 But if any man thinke that it is vncomly for his vingin if shee passe the flowre of her age and neede so require let him doe what he will resinâ—eth not let them be maried Neuertheles he that standeth firme in his heart that he hath no neede but hath power ouer his owne will and hath so decreede in his heart that he wil keepe his virgin he doeth well So then he that grueth her to martage doth wel but he that giueth her not to mariage doth better The purpose of Paul in this place is to giue counsel vnto patentes what course they were best to take for their children concerning their bestowing of them in mariage or letting them remaine single according vnto the assured and certaine knowledge that they haue of their abilitie to liue chast or their neede otherwise to vse that lawfull remedie the which God hath ordained against fornication which is to marie so that those which haue the gift of chastitie hee would not haue constrained to ioine themselues in wedlocke nor those which are not able to be forced to liue single This is brieflie the summe of the place Concerning those children that cannot liue single hee willeth their parentes to looke vnto them betimes least that their too long differring and delaying the matter breed some inconuenience And this is it that hee saieth If ante man thinke that it is vncomely for his virgine if shee passe the flower of her age and neede so require let him doe what he will he sinneth not Let them marie Which last clause plainely teacheth that looke what is saide of the daughter is to be vnderstood also of the son for one cannot be maried alone Speaking therefore in the plurall number he meaneth as well the sonnes as the daughters touching whom this is his counsaile That parenteâ— when their children come once to such yeares that they are readie to marie The summe oâ— the Apostle â—â— his counsaiâ— vnto parenâ—â— in time to pâ—â—uide fit maâ—â—ches for thâ— children should in due time haue consideration hereof not giuing occasion by causing them stay too long either to bee derided or laughed to scorne as stale bachelers or otherwise to bee suspected of bad husbandrie or huswifrie or of pride and disdaining all others being so nice coy that they think none fine enough to match withal or that there is in them some secrete hidden vice or infirmitie the which maketh them vnfit for mariage or otherwise of couetousnesse because they are loth to depart with mony towards their maintenance protracting delaying the time longer then the nature and disposition of their sonnes daughters will beare so that by their means being thus deferred and put off when as they are not able any longer to forbeare their parents neglecting to prouide that remedie for them the which Goâ— hath ordained they burne in lust and commit follie Their fathers and mothers therefore perceiuing that so it ought to be that is their children without feare of some inconuemence cannot tary any longer vnmatied ought worthelie to haue this wise care for them in time to prouide them of fit and honest matches This then is the drist of this place that parentes should by all gentle and faire meanes true out and search the state and disposition of their children towards mariage when by reason of conuenient age they are fit for the some and by conference and questioning with them get from them howe they stand affected this way and accordinglie as they shall haue sure notice how they are giuen to suffer them either to remaine single or els that they as it is their fatherlie dutie doe prouide for them godlie wiues and husbandes The inconuenience that groweth by this that parents followe not Paule his counsaile in prouiding fit matches for their children Thus we see how pregnant and plentifull a text this is to teach that it lieth in the parents to make due choise for their children in the case of matrimonie And because that small regard is had hereof in many now adaies heÌ„ce it commeth that some children giue themselues ouer vnto the lustes of the flesh in coÌ„mitting shamefull filthy fornicatioÌ„ others contrary vnto the lawes both of God and nature breake into the duties of their fathers and vnnaturallie and not child-like without the priuitie consent of their parentes make their owne matches the same for the most part so vntoward that they bring the gray haires of their parentes vnto their griefe and sorrowe to the graue and themselues besides wastfully spending all that they haue liue all their life long in continuall and dailie home braules and houshold strifes and discordes You therefore that be fathers and mothers I most earnestlie and hartilie exhort and beseech you for the loue of God and in the tender bowels and mercie of Iesus Christ our most gratious redeemer An exhortation vnto al parents that you will at the length awake and rouse vp your selues out of this deadlie sleepe of carelesnesse wherewith you haue bene long oppressed making litle or none accountes at all of this waightie and necessarie dutie of prouiding vertuous wiues and husbandes for your sonnes and daughters delay the time hencefoorth no longer put in diligent vre and practise this wholsome counsaile of the Apostle lay off all rigorous austerenes and bitternes and in the spirite of lenitie and mildenesse question and confer talke and reason with your sonnes and daughters when they be come vnto ripe veares that you may learn how they are inclined concerning mariage or sole life and if it bee so that you thinke that through bashfulnesse and shamefastnesse they will not dare to deale plainlie with you nor freelie to vnfolde their mindes vnto you as they would doe vnto some of their familiars let it not grieue you to vse this wise policie to fish out their purpose by some of their friendes vnto whome being great with them they will not bee affraide to vtter the verie bottome of their heartes and inmost secretes And when you shall haue found that it is safest for your honor and meetest for their present estate that you prouide for theÌ„ to marie goe about the same in the feare of God accordinglie with faithfull and earnest praier vnto God Gen. 24.12 after the example of the godly Steward of Abraham in the book of Genesis that he wil both direct you in a vertuous and christian choise and also incline and mooue the heartes of your
man shoulde contemne this as a weake and childish reason let him know that the learned Father Theodorus Beza vseth it although not in the same iust number of wordes yet in this verie selfe same argument and to the selfe same purpose in his booke de repudijs diuortijs where his iudgement may bee further seene to iumpe with mine fullie in this question as mine also in this behalfe agreeth with the opinion of al the learned And it seemeth not to bee much impertinent from this place The fift reason from the vneffectualnes of vowes without the consent of parents and husbands in their childrâ— and wiues the which wee read in the booke of Numbers concerning Vowes where among other things we doe finde that the vowes which were made by the children without the priuitie and consent of the fathers and of the wiues without the liking and allowance of their husbandes were altogether vnlawfull and of no force And the reason according to true meaning of the place is geuen by the best Interpreters because neither children nor wines are sus iurâ—s that is at their owne libertie and appointment but vnder the rule and gouernment of others namelie of their parentes and husbands As therefore to make a vow vnto the Lord being in it selfe and of it owne nature an holy and acceptable action vnto God and where with he is well pleased is notwithstanding in children vnlawfull because it is such an action as they onlie may performe which are free and at their owne disposition the which they are not so in like maner to consent in matrimonie although in it selfe it be both honest lawfull yet is it not an action of force in children without the consent and allowance of their parentes because that children are not free at their own libertie but by the lawes both of God and man tied and bound vnto the subiection of their fathers as hath at large bene shewed before and through the whole discourse of this treatise is to be prooued also hereafter In the 22. The sixt reason from the lawes in Exodus of entifing of maids and the fathers selling their daughters for seruants of Exodus there is a law concerning the intising of maids a practise this day too common because there is not discipline sharpe enough ministred to represse it and in the chapter before going there is another coÌ„stitution as touching fathers that to releeue their owne necessities are constrained to sell their daughters for seruants by the first wherof it appeareth that the contract of children without the consent of their parentes is not auaillable or of anie force and by the second may easilie be gathered that seruats were not at libertie to make their owne choise in mariage but that the right thereof appertained vnto their maisters both places iointlie coÌ„cluding flatlie for me that both children seruants as Res domenorum that is the goodes of their owners are not as in other cases of lesse waight so in like sort in that matter of greate importance namely the bestowing of themselues in wedlocke for to follow the violent streame of their owne pleasing affections but to be ordered and guided by the rule of their fathers and maisters I will set downe the seuerall wordes of the law in both these cases that being diligentlie obserued and marked fathers and maisters may learne what was the authoritie in the mariage of their children seruants and that these likewise may vnderstand what is their part dutie in these considerations Exodus 22.16.17 The wordes for intising of maides are these And if a man intise a maid that is not betrethed and lie with her he shall endow her and take her to wife if her father refuse to giue her to him he shall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins Exod. 21.7.8.9 Here is expreslie set downe that albeit the two parties were fullie agreed yet is the match not to goe forwarde vnlesse the father also doe giue his consent Now for the father his selling of his daughter to redeeme his owne need and pouertie thus speaketh the lawgiuer in the chapter afore going Likewise if a man sell his daughter to be a seruant she shall not gee out as men seruants doe If she please not her maister who hath betrethed her vnto himselfe then shall he cause to buy her he shall haue no power to sell her to a strange people seeing he despised or defloured her But if he hath betrothed her vnto bys senne he shall deale with her according to the custome of the daughters So that ye see howe the maiden in this sort sold to be a seruant by her father became by this sale bound to the power of her maister to bee at his appointing in the case of marrying and such was the condition of all other seruants by the law of God in this respect and that the sonnes also were not left vnto their owne direction no although that they were otherwise free besides that this place doth prooue the same directly affirming that the father of the free son might betroth him vnto his bond maid it shall in his place sufficientlie hence forward likewise appeare The seventh reason drawen from the commandement Honor thy father mother c. Besides al this what clearer euideÌ„ce can we haue on our side then the fift commandemét in the which childré are cómanded to honor their fathers and mothers with a blessing promised to those which perform the same wherby we gather by the nature of contraries that there is a curse also belonging vnto all those children that shal dishonor them And in that God willeth that the parentes by their children should be honoured he meaneth that they should in all humilitie and modestie reuerence them with all dutifull submission be obedient vnto them and with all willingnes shew themselues thankfull for their procreation education sustentation and all other benefites that vnder God they haue receiued from them being readie by all meanes they possible may 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that is to imitate and expresse towards them the nature of the Storke whose propertie as they write of theÌ„ is to prouide meat and feed their dams when through age they grow so olde that they are not able for to help themselues that is to say they must to their verie vtmost seeke to make them recompence and requitall of some part of those vnrequitable paines the which their louing parentes haue taken with them and make some a mends for the vnconteruaillable kindnes that they haue shewed towards them But where they bestowe themselues in mariage without the consent of their parentes there they do fault and make a breach of dutie in all these three respectes that is to say they neither reuerence obey nor shew themselues thankful vnto them For reuerence consisteth in this that we carie towards them a certaine honest and modest shamefastnes ioyned with abashfull awfulnes standing in feare of
therfore we also wil choose for ourselues according vnto our owne liking besides that the breach of dutie in the father doth not excuse the like disobedience in his sonne A bad sonne that wil haue his father go with him vnto the deuil for companie what art thou that thinkest it not inough that thou goe vnto the Deuill thy selfe vnlesse thou haue thy father to go with thee also for companie For as thy sin of disobedience if God graunt thee not repentance of the same shall in his iustice presse thee down euen vnto hel So likewise shall thy fathers marieng without the allowance of his parents be sufficient to condemne him if together with the rest of his sinnes it bee not couered in the merites of Iesus Christ our Sauiour And the example of Iudah may fitlie serue to instruct thee in this point that though thy father haue maried without the choise of his friendes yet thou art not in like maner to marie without the coÌ„sent of them Gen. 38. for albeit Iudah tooke vnto himselfe a Cananitish woman without the priuitie and liking of his father Iaacob yet did hee prouide a wife for his owne children Er and Onan whereby wee gather that the fault the which hee committed in himselfe hee did not like nor allow of in his sonnes Setting a side therefore all cunning gloses and colourable deuises hammered in the Deuill his forge A profitable counsaile for all good natured childreÌ„ whereby hee teacheth his schollers to be subtile in inuenting reasons to maintaine their stubborne disobedience in not being ruled by the graue aduise godlie counsaile of their parentes as touching their mariage matches let all dutifull and good natured children in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honour and obedience they doe owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie he hath in his worde sanctified vnto theÌ„ ouer their children in the Lord in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed or euill fauoured nor of a contrarie religion they willinglie submit themselues vnto their choise which if for the present or vpon the suddain they caÌ„not yeeld vnto let them by earnest cal ling vpon the name of God desire him to subdue in them this corrupt affection that he will frame their wil to bee plyable vnto their fathers in such lawful cases lawful I may well call them because that the ciuil constitutions and ordinances do ratifie and allow of them the two former especiallie setting downe that children are to giue the consent vnto the fathers choise where the partie chosen is not of infamous life 2 Cor. 6.14 nor in shape or fauour so blemished as it may worthelie bee supposed that the same may be an occasion of the withdrawiug of loue As for the third caution or prouiso of not graÌ„ting vnto the fathers choise in the cause of contrarie religion it is confirmed flatlie by the counsell of the Apostle where he willeth that we should not draw the yoke with infidels which if it hold in other cases of the affaires of this life much more ought it to bee of force in mariage matters mariage I meane hereafter to bee made and not such as are alreadie made for where the knot is once already knit there disparitie or vnequalnes in religion is no iust cause of seperation Yea in this most graue waighty cause In prouiding of watches for their children parâ—ntes ought to begin with praier I would be author vnto all christian parentes that they take not the same lightly in hand as if it were but a toy or a iest but that they begin it with praier that in the whole actioÌ„ they may in such sort be directed that they do nothing against the word of God or vnbeseeming the same authority the which God himself in this cause hath imposed or laid vpon them And thus doing God no doubt will ad a blessing vnto their godlie indeuour and holie care worke obedience in the heartes of their children as hee framed the heart of Isaac with entire affection to imbrace Rebeccah whom his father Abraham had by his Steward prouided for him And least that any should imagine that this counsell is a pecuish fancie of a too much spiced and nice conscience the parents ought to bee induced and perswaded hereunto Gen. 24.7 Aben Ezra holdeth this to haue bene a praier first by the example of Abraham who committing the charge of prouiding a wife for his sonne vnto his seruant praieth that God will send his Angell before him to direct him in this businesse Secondlie the course which Abraham his seruant taketh in the effecting of this charge dooth teach no lesse Gen. 24.12 of whom we reade that he entred into this businesse with praier Gen. 24.26 that he geueth thankes vnto God when hee meeteth with Rebeccah Gen. 24 5â— that hee praiseth God when at the deliuerie of his message the parentes without gaine-saieng graunted their consent And whilest I giue this counsell vnto the parentes Children mariage-able are to pray vnto God to direct their parentes in a godly choise and to incline their mindes to accept of the same I woulde not haue the children thinke that I discharge them of this dutie of whom the same is by so much the more to be put in practise by how much they are more subiect to bee caried away with the swift current of their stay-lesse affections from whome wee heare too often these and such like more then prophane and heathenish speaches ' I will marie to please mine owne eie and not to satisfie the mind of my father I will neuer match with him that woeth my parents before he woeth me Shal I go to the father before I am sure of the daughter c. Whereas in verie deede they are not at all once so much as to make the least motion of mariage vnto the daughter vnlesse before they haue obtained the good will and liking of the father For in these cases let the daughters if they shall be thereunto sollicited and woed learne of the example of the maiden out of the Poet and of Cyrus out of Xenophon cited before to say vnto their suters My Father and my mother haue to determine and dispose of my mariage this is a matter not belonging nor appertaining vnto me The heathen haue borne themselues in this dutifull sort towardes their parentes and shall I that professe my selfe a christian come so far short of theÌ„ in this dutie as to coÌ„tract my self without the consent knowledge of my elders Nay let theÌ„ say with Tamar as it is in the story of the kings Speake I pray thee vnto my father for he will not deny me vnto thee c. 2 Sam. 13 verse 13 And here when as I enter into the consideration of the contrarie bad course practise of