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A66701 The new help to discourse or, Wit, mirth, and jollity. intermixt with more serious matters consisting of pleasant astrological, astronomical, philosophical, grammatical, physical, chyrurgical, historical, moral, and poetical questions and answers. As also histories, poems, songs, epitaphs, epigrams, anagrams, acrosticks, riddles, jests, poesies, complements, &c. With several other varieties intermixt; together with The countrey-man's guide; containing directions for the true knowledge of several matters concerning astronomy and husbandry, in a more plain and easie method than any yet extant. By W. W. gent. Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698.; Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698. Country-man's guide. aut. 1680 (1680) Wing W3070; ESTC R222284 116,837 246

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who should shroud themselves in his long fleece when he would jump into Heaven and so convey them all thither With a thousand of the like fopperies Qu. Which Heretick in his time had the most followers An. Arius a priest of Alexandria who hatched that devilish Doctrine against the perpetual Divinity of Christ to beat down which Heresie the first Council of Nice was called wherein was made the Nicene Creed and the Clause of one substance with the Father proved to be agreeable to the Word Constantine being then Emperor sent for Arius to subscribe to the Decrees of this Council who went to Constantinople with his own heretical Tenets written in a paper and put into his bosom where reading before the Emperor the Decrees of the Council he writ a Recantation of his Heresie laying his hand on his breast and swearing he meant as he had written but though thereby he blinded the Emperor God manifested his hypocrisie for passing in great triumph through the streets of the City a necessity of Nature enforcing him he withdrew aside into a House of Ease where he voided out his Guts and sent his soul as a Harbinger to the Devil to provide room for his body However his Heresie died not with him but overspread so far that one of the Fathers complained The whole world is turned Arian And long time it was ere this Serpent of Error was knocked on the head by the Hammer of Gods Word though very powerful then in the mouths of many faithful Ministers Many other Heresies might be reckon'd up which were frequent in the primitive times as the Nicholaitans Donatists c. but we descend to speak of some more modern Qu. Who was the first that broached that ridiculous Schism of the Adamites An. One Picardus a Native of Belgia or the Low Countreys who coming into Bohemia drew a great sort of men and women unto him pretending to bring them to the same state of perfection that Adam was in before his fall and having gotten a great many disciples they betook themselves to an Island called Paradise and went stark naked having no respect unto marriage yet would they not accompany any woman until the man coming to Adam said unto him Father Adam I am enflamed towards this woman and Adam made answer Increase and multiply But long they had not lived in this lascivious course of Irreligion but Zisca that renowned Bohemian Captain hearing of them with a selected Band of Soldiers entered their Fools Paradise and put them all to the Sword An. Dom. 1416 The same pretence to bring men to Paradise though in a different way was once practised by Aladine a seditious Persian who inhabited a Valley in that Countrey which he fortified with a strong Castle Hither he brought all the lusty Youths and beautiful Maidens of the adjoyning Provinces The women were confined to their Chambers the men to prison where having endured much sorrow they were severely cast into dead sleeps and conveyed to the women where they were entertained with all the pleasures youth and lust could desire or a sensual mind affect To the eyes were presented curious Pictures and other costly Sights the Ears were charmed with melodious Musick the Nose delighted with odoriferous Smells the Taste satiated with costly Viands and the Touch satisfied with whatsoever might be pleasing unto it nothing was wanting which a sensual appetite could desire to enjoy Having lived in this happiness a whole day they were in a like sleep conveyed to their Irons Then would Aladine come unto them and inform them how they had been in Paradise in which place it was in his power to seat them eternally and which he would do if they would hazard their lives in his Quarrels They poor souls thinking all to be real swore to perform whatsoever he requested whereupon he destinated them to the massacre of such Princes as he had a mind to be rid out of the way which for the hopes of this Paradise they willingly put in execution refusing no dangers to be there the sooner One of these was he who so desperately wounded our King Edward the first when he was in his Wars in the Holy Land Qu. Who was the most notorious Heretick of these latter times An. One David George born at Delft in Holland who called himself King and Christ immortal He fled with his wife and children Anno 1544 to Basil where he divulged his doctrine the chief heads whereof were 1. That the Law and the Gospel were unprofitable for the attaining of Heaven but his doctrine able to save such as received it 2. That he was the true Christ and Messias 3. That he had been till that present kept in a place unknown to the Saints And fourthly that he was not to restore the house of Israel by death or tribulation but by the love and grace of the Spirit He died in the year 1556. and three years after his doctrine was by them of Basil condemned his Goods confiscated and his bones taken up and burned He bound his disciples to three things 1. To conceal his name 2. Not to reveal of what condition he had been And thirdly Not to discover the Articles of his doctrine to any man in Basil Thus every age produces Hereticks Who against Christ and true Religion kicks Qu. From whence had the Sect of the Anabaptists their first original An. From Germany about the year 1527. being very ripe in the Province of Helvetia where one of them in the presence of his Father and Mother cut off his brothers head and said according to the humour of that Sect who boast much of dreams visions and enthusiasms that God had commanded him to do it Since which time this Sect like a pernicious infection hath spread it self into many Countries having been very baneful to England in our late uncivil wars I might instance many examples more of our late Schismaticks as of the Ranters Fifth-Monarchy-men c. but we will now turn our pen to other matters Qu. What women of all others are most fruitful An. Beggars wives that of all others one would think should be most barren Qu. What is mans ingress and egress in this world An. He is born head-long into this world and carried to the grave with his feet foremost of which one thus writes Nature which head-long into life did throng us With our feet forwards to our grave doth bring us What is less ours than this our borrowed breath We stumble into life we go to death Qu. What is that State comparable unto wherein is most Nobles and Gentry and the Husbandmen are made their meer drudges An. Sir Francis Bacon in his History of Henry the Seventh likens them to Coppice-woods in which if you let them grow too thick in the stadles they run to bushes or briars and have little clean under-wood This may be evinced by the Countrey of France which is very numerous of Nobles and Gentry but the poor Peasants kept in
fate Perceiving near worn out would needs translate 'T was a good thrifty soul and time hath bin He would well liquor'd wade through thick and thin But now hee 's gone 't is all that can be said Honest John Cobler is here-under-laid On John Taylor the water-Poet HEre lies the VVater-poet honest John VVho rowed on the streams of Helicon VVhere having many Rocks and dangers past He at the Haven of Heaven arriv'd at last On a Man and his Wife buried together REader cease thy pace and stay Hearken unto what we say As you are such once were we As we are such shall you be Then provide whilst time ye have To come Godly unto your grave An ancient Epitaph on an Earl of Devonshire HOstay who lies here I the good Earl of Devonshire And Mand my VVife that lov'd full dear VVe lived LXV year VVhat we spent we had VVhat we gave we have VVhat we lent we lost On John Lilburn UNtimely cause so late and late because To some much mischief it no sooner was ●s John departed and is Lilburn gone Farewel to both to Lilburn and to John Yet being dead take this advice from me Let them not both in one Grave buried be Lay John here and Lilburn thereabout For if they both should meet they would fall out On Hugh Peters HEre lies the first and last edition Of Hugh the Teacher of Sedition VVhose fatal thread that thread of Life VVas cut in two by Squire Dun's Knife His Iests and Drols could not him save To go untimely to his Grave Mean time Tyburn felt the loss That he was hanged at Charing-Cross On VVilliam Summers King Henry the Eights Jester STay Traveller guess who lies here I tell the neither Lord nor Peer ●o Knight no Gentleman of note ●hat boasts him of his ancient Coat VVhich Heralds curiously emblazon For men well skill'd therein to gaze on ●now then that this was no such man ●nd I 'le express him as I can He that beneath this Tomb-stone lies ●ome call'd fool some held him wise ●or which who better proof can bring ●hen to be favour'd by a King ●nd yet again we may misdoubt him A King hath alwaies fools about him Is he more Idiot than the rest Who in a guarded coat can jest Or can he wisdoms honor gain That is all bravery and no brain Since no such things wit truly bred I' th' habit lies not but i' th' head But whether he was Fool or Knave He now lies sleeping in his Grave Who never in his life found match Unless the Cardinals fool call'd Patch Of whom some Courtiers who did see Them two alone might say We three And 't may be fear'd it is a phrase That may be used still in these days VVell more of him what should I say Both fools and wise men turn to clay And this is all we have to trust That there 's no difference in their dust Rest quiet then beneath this stone To whom late Archy was a drone Stultorum plenasunt omnia On Hobson the merry Londoner HEre Hobson the merry Londoner do● lie And if that you would know the reas●● wh● It was because when as his Jests grew dry He thereupon took pet and so did die On a very fat Man UNder this same stone Here fast sleepeth one And that is not two Yet was without doubt Far bigger about Than both I and you His Kidneys encreast So much that his Waste Was hooped all round But his Girdle Death cuts And down fell his Guts 'Bout his heels to the ground On an Usurer HEre lies at least ten in the hundred Shackled up both hands and feet That at such as lent Money gratis wonder'd The gain of Usury was so sweet But thus being now of life bereaven 'T is a hundred to ten he 's scarce gone to Heaven On a Miller DEath without question was as bold as brief When he kill'd two in one Miller and thief On a Taylor who dyed of a Stitch. Here Stich the Taylor in his grave doth lye Who by a Stich did live and by it dye On Death THe death of all men is the total sum The Period unto which we all must come He lives but a short life that lives the longest And he is weak in death in life was strongest Our life 's like Cobwebs be we ne're so gay And death the Broom which sweeps us all away RIDDLES or dark Propositions ' oftentimes used in Discourse Riddle 1. UNto the Exchange I went some knacks there for to buy Within a Cloyster there was pon't a Monster certainly Feet and hands it had full eight Four eyes clear of sight Four ears whereby to hear And two bodies exceeding clear Kesolution It was an Exchange woman big with Child Riddle 2. I went to the wood and I got it I sat me down and I sought it I kept it still against my will And so by force home I brought it Resolution It was a man that had a thorn in his foot Riddle 3 A Beggar once exceeding poor A penny praid me give him And deeply vow'd nere to ask more And I nere more to give him Next day he beg'd again I gave Yet both of us our oaths did save Resolv He gave him but a penny Riddle 4. Beyond Sea there is an Oak and in that Oak's an Nest and in that Nest an Egg and in that Egg there is a Yolk which calleth together all Christian folk Resolution The Oak is the Church the nest is the Belfrey the Egg is the Bell and the Yolk the Clapper Riddle 5. In thickest Woods I hunt with Beagles ten After the chase which when I do descry I dispossess me of not useful then And what I take not only that keep I. Resolution One scratching his head with both his hands Riddle 6. I went and I went I cannot tell whether I met and I met with I cannot tell who I had a gift given me I shall never forgo and yet I came a true maid home Resolution It is a Child went to be Christened Riddle 7. What is that is as white as snow And yet as black as any Crow And more plyant than a wand Tyed in a silken band And every day a Princes Peer Look on it with a mirth that 's clear Resolution It is a Book tyed with a silken lace Whose paper is as white as snow Ink as black as any Crow And leaves more pliant than any wand Riddle 8. My Coat is green and I can prate Of divers things within my grate In such a prison I am set That hath more Trap-holes than a Net Resolution A Parrot in a Cage of wyre Riddle 9. There was a Bird of great renown Useful in City and in Town None work like unto him can do He 's Yellow Black Red and Green A very pretty Bird I ween Yet he is both fierce and fell I count him wise that can this tell Resolution The painful Bee Riddle 10. I am called by the name of a man
●ouse slowly mastering a place and as slowly being driven from their hold the Spaniard is likened to a crab which being crept into a place almost at unawares is there so fast rooted that nothing but the extremity of violence can force him ou● again Qu. In what things do the French Dutch and Italians agree An. The French hath valour but with Vanitatem Levitatem The Dutch hath honest dealing bu● Gulam Ebrietatem The Italian discreet Carriage bu● Procreationem Libidinem Moreover of these three Nations it thus further added That the Italian is wise before hand The German wise in the Action And the French after it is done Qu. In what three properties doth England exceed all other Countreys An. For the fairest Women the goodliest Horses and the best breed of Dogs whatsoever Qu. How many things are required in a ●oman to be perfectly beautiful An. It is said that all the beauties in the world serve but to make up one perfect beauty where one brings a good Cheek another a comely nose a third a fair forehead a fourth ruby Lips a fifth an Alabaster neck c. so one is wise till she speaks another handsom till she goes a third pretty till she laughs one hath a slender body another a winning eye some carry loveliness and others Majesty in their very countenances all which must concur to make up one absolute beauty And therefore it is said that when Apelles the fanious Painter of Greece was to pourtray the Goddess Venus he assembled all the chief beauties of the Countrey that from the several perfections of them he might make one excellent composition to which one alludes in this Sonnet Apelles like when Nature did thee make She view'd the beauties of the Earth each one And from them all the best of all did take That thou shouldest excelled be by none And thus with Venus beauty she endow'd thee And Pallas like she wisdom to thee gave The learning of Cornelia she allow'd thee That thou no lack of any thing shouldst have To thee then thou great Empress of all beauty I consecrate these Lines in thankful duty Some other there are that say that a woman to be perfectly beautiful should have all these endowments and oppositions viz three hard three soft three short three long three black three white which they thus distinguish three hard her two breasts and buttock three soft her two hands and her belly three short her nose and her two feet three long her fingers and her side three black her two eyes and her hair three white her two hands and her neck All these fair Letters in one golden Book What Cynick might be blam'd to unclasp and look But now for the most part instead of these perfections the imperfections of women are so covered by Art that the most piercing understanding may be deceived according to that of the Poet With Tyres and Cloaths our Judgments bribed be And Woman is least part of what we see Sir Thomas Moor in his Utopian Common-wealth telleth us how there is the Custom for some Reverend Old-Father to bring in naked the young man and some hoary Oldmatron to present naked the young woman between whom a marriage is motion'd for saith he in buying a Horse the Chapman not only vieweth his naked carcass but taketh off also his Trappings and Saddle lest under him some blame might lie hidden and why then in choosing of a wise should we take one of whom we see no more than the face unius palmae spatium and perhaps scarce that These are the words of Sir Thomas Moor which though I do not like his plot as being too libidinous yet no question but the hasty marriages and want of due acquaintance be●●re the celebration of the Nuptials makes many to be sped with such a fortune as is here ●escribed by the Poet Who takes her breakfast daily in her bed And spends the morn in dressing of her head And sits at dinner like a Virgin Bride And talks all day of nothing but of pride God in mercy may do much to save her But what a case is he in that shall have her Qu. What three Nation 's parts is it said that required to the making up of an absolute woman An. The Italians will tell you that for the performance of this there is required first the parts of a Dutch-woman from the Girdle downwards Secondly the parts of French-woman from the Girdle to the Shoulders over which must be placed an English Face for a grace to all the rest and ●et Dr. Heylin in his Survey of France saith that this position doth not hold good in the French women their shoulders and backs ●ing so broad that they hold no proportion with their middles But every one our women thus doth grace There is none like unto an English face Qu. In what Countrey is it that women have the greatest Prerogatives An. In England where there are not kept to severely submiss as the French nor so jeaously guarded as the Italian as being as of a finer mould so of a better temper than to yield to an inordinate servility or incontinency which makes them endued with so many priviledges amongst us that England is termed by Foreigners The Paradise of women as it is by some accounted The Hell of Horses and Purgatory of Servants And it is a common by word among the Italians that there were a Bridge built over the Narrow Seas all the women in Europe would run int● England they having here the upper hand i● the streets the uppermost place at the Table the Thirds of their Husbands Estates an● their equal shares in all Lands yea eve● such as are holden in Knights service previledges wherewith women of other Countreys are not acquainted So that we see is as well a Paradise for women by reason ● their priviledges as a Paradise of women b● reason of their unmatchable perfections Qu. Who was accounted the most brave Virago woman that ever France bred An. Joan D' Arc a Maid of Vancolem ● Lorrain whom they call La Pusille wh● when the English had almost over-run a France stoutly stood up for the defence her Countrey and having obtained an A●my marched up and down with the sam● in the habit of a man giving to the Engli●● many overthrows and taking some of the prime Commanders prisoners At last s● was taken prisoner her self at the siege ● Compeigne and delivered over to the Du● of Bedford then Regent of France who se● her unto Rouen where she was burnt for Witch on the sixth of July Anno 1431. thou●● some adjudge it extream cruelty in the English and that she was rather a Saint than Witch of which two different opinions he● one thus writing her Epitaph Here lies Joan of Arc the which Some count Saint and some count Witch Some count Man and some count more Some count Maid and some count Whore Her Life 's in question wrong or right Her death
burying within the walls was alike granted to all Qu. Which is the surest way to make a man's name immortal either by strong stone buildings and calling them after their own names or like Homer Virgil or Ovid by leaving behind them some witty Poem or Invention in Paper An. To this the Poet will give you a ready Answer Marmor a Maeonii vincunt monument a libelli Vivitur ingenio caetera mortis erunt The Muses Works Stone Monuments out-last 'T is Wit keeps Life all else death will down cast Qu. What death according to History do we find that Aristotle that great Philosopher and Searcher out of the Secrets of Nature died of An. History tells us that he drowned himself in the River Euripus which being a small River betwixt Eubeo and Achata and ebbing and flowing seven times in a day contrary to the nature of other Rivers when he could not find out the reason thereof it is said that he threw himself therein with these words Quia ego non capio te tu capias me If I cannot contain thee thou shalt contain me Qu. Who was the first man that publickly in writing set forth a tractate of the Antipodes An. Many are of opinion that the Antipodes was known to the Ancients although they were by them never discovered and therefore it is said That in former times it was known that there were Antipodes although the Antipodes were not known but the first that declared it in writing was Virgilius Bishop of Salizburg in Germany which Boniface Bishop of Mentz in that Country happening to see and supposing that under that strange name some damnable Doctrine was contained made complaint first to the Duke of Bohemia and next to Pope Zachary Anno 745. By whom the poor Bishop unfortunate onely in being learned in such a time of Ignorance was condemned of Heresie for that which now every ordinary Seaman can demonstrate for truth Qu. Who first broacht the opinion of the mutability of the Earth that it turns round about the Center of the Sun An. The first that publickly declared himself of this opinion was Copernicus a Doctrine so strange in those times that an able Poet thus writ to him Thou thinks the Earth moves round that 's a strange tale When thou didst write this thou wert under sail And yet now this opinion is taken up by our ablest Astrologers as Mr. Vincent Wing Mr. Saunders Mr. Leyburn and others Qu. Why is virtue more talked of than practised An. Because every one desires the name of Virtuous although he do not deserve it according to the Poet Virtue we praise but practise not her good Athenian-like we act not what we know So many men do talk of Robin Hood Who never yet shot arrow from his Bow The old Romane built a Temple to Honor which whosoever would come to must first pass through the Temple of Virtue intimating thereby that Honor was the reward of Virtue and that without virtuous actions none could come to Honors preferments Qu. What people lie in most state An. Beggars who have the Heavens for their Canopy Qu. What is the right part of a Judge An. To hear both sides indifferently and not to be prepossessed in any case for thereby though he do Justice yet himself errs according to the Poet He that doth Judge and will but one side hear Though he Judge right he 's no good Justicer Qu. What is that that bears all forms all nourisheth all increaseth all creates all buries all and receives all into her again An. The Earth Qu. Why can no man be said to be truly happy or miserable in this life An. Because as the Poet said Unmedled Joys here to no man befall Who least hath some who most hath never all Qu. Who first found out the use of weights and measures An. One Phidon an Argine in the time of Arbanes the Mede An. M. 3146. Qu. What makes it that few people are content with their condition An. Because the desire of riches encreases ●n the getting of them few people being ●ontented with that state which God hath alotted to them The poor have little Beggars none The rich too much enough not one Qu. Why was Diogenes accounted an Epicure An. Because out of love to Wine when it was all drunk out he would live in the Cask Qu. Why do Beggars go with hungry bellies An. Because it is Money rules the Roast Qu. What is that is spoken of in the Hebrew Greek and Latine Tongues An. That the Hebrew is most sacred the Greek most rich and the Latine most copious Qu How came the word Harlot first in use among the English An. From Arlet King William the Conquerors Mother whose Father Robert Duke of Normandy passing through Falaise a town in France and seeing this Arlet being a Skinners daughter nimbly to trip it in a dance he thought he would not be sluggish in a bed and therefore sent for her to accompany him that night to which she readily condescended and the Duke that night begat on he● William the Bastard King of England inspight to whom and disgrace to his Mother the English called all whores Harlots a word yet in use with us unto this day Qu. Who first brought up that use of pledging one another being drunk unto An. This Custom took its original on such time as the Danes Lorded it in this Land who used when the English drank to stabb them or cut their throats to avoid which vill any the party then drinking would request some of the next sitters by to be his surety or pledg whilst he paid Nature his due And hence have we our custom of pledging one another which begun at first upon necessity is now grown to be a Complement and common to all Qu. What two Letters are those that at ou● entrance into the world we all cry out upon An. A and E as the Poet explains in this verse Clamant A vel E. quot quot nascunour ab Eva All cry out of E and A That are born of Eva. Qu. What is delivered in Histories concerning the three Kings of Collen or the wise men that came out of the East to worship our Saviour An. It is said that those wise men were three Kings and that they came out of Arabia first in respect that Arabia is East from Jerusalem and secondly because it is said in the 72 Psalm The Kings of Arabia shall bring gifts Their bodies are said to have been translated from Palestine by Helena the Mother of Constantine to Constantinople from thence by Eustasius Bishop of Millain unto Millain and finally brought to Collen in Germany by Rainoldus Bishop thereof Anno ● 164. where they lie interred the first of them being called Melchior an old man with a long beard who offered Gold as unto a King The second called Gaspar a beard●ess young man who offered Frankincense ●s unto God The third called Balthasar a Black Moor with a spreading Beard who offered
plains come there for refuge and so loose their fleeces or like to the Spiders web in which the little flies are catcht but the great ones break through with ease Qu. Wherein did the old Romans shew the love that they bear unto Virtue An. In erecting a Temple to Honor into which none could come but he must first pass through the Temple of Virtue to signifie that those that trode in the paths of Justice and Virtue should at last be crowned with honor and dignity Qu. What is the reason that women love their ease more than men An. When man lay dead-like woman took her life From a crookt embleme of her nuptial strife And hence her bones would be at rest her ease She loves so well and is so hard to please Qu. Wherein consists the praises of a Country life An. The Countrey-man is thrice happy in this that he plays not with his wings in the golden flames of the Court nor setteth his foot into the busie throngs of the City nor runneth up and down in the intricate mazes of the Law but resting contented in the Winter to sit by a countrey fire and in the Summer to lay his head on the green pillows of the Earth where his sleep is soft slumbers and his waking pleasant as golden dreams His highest ambition is to get up unto the Mountains where he thinks himself a petty King the greatest Trees standing trembling before him to do him reverence which he calleth his Nobles on each side of him he beholdeth ranks of Oaks which he counteth his Guards the Willows that bend at every blast he accounteth his flatterers and the Vallies humbled at his feet he termeth his slaves No Prince in the world keeps more skilful Musicians the Birds are his consort and the wind instruments they play upon yield ten thousand several tunes Thus doth he rest secure whilest he doth lie Too low for Envy and for scorn too high Qu. Who are the most proud and imperious of all others An. Such as have been raised from the Dunghil to some preferment according to that old English Proverb of ours Set a Beggar on Horseback and he will ride to the Devil With which agreeth that of the Poet None looks to be accounted More than a Beggar mounted Qu. What is the difference of valour in several persons An. Some are truly valarous and those are such who will nobly engage in a just quarrel others are cowardly valorous to which alludeth the Proverb Make a Coward fight and he will kill the Devil and to this purpose we have a story of a Gentleman that kept a Welshman to his man It so fortuned that as they rid abroad they were set on by two thieves The Gentleman defended himself for a good space while his man stood still looking on but offering no help to his master At length the Gentleman having received some wounds was forced to yield and deliver up his money to the thieves but withal requested them that since his man would not fight he yet might receive some of the blows and therefore desired them to give him three or four good stroakes over the back this was no sooner desired but as readily granted and as soon performed But Taffy feeling the smart of the blows his welsh blood was soon up he thunders lightning and revenge upon them soon disarms one of the thieves and with his sword deeply wounds the other so that in a little space they both became the objects of his mercy the money they received is re-delivered and upon their knees they ask pardon The third are such as are only valiant in their drink of which last the Poet thus writes Qu. Who onlie in his Cups will fight is like A Clock that must be oyl'd well e're it strike Qu. How many veins are there in the body of a man An. As many as there are days in the year according as it is set down in this verse For that in us all things may vain appear We have a vein for each day in the year Qu. How many bones are there in a perfect man An. 284. which are thus singlely collected i● the head forty nine in the breast sixty seven in the arms and hands sixty one in the fee● sixty in all 284. according to the Poet. The bones which do support our Earthly Tower Are numbered two hundred eighty four Qu. How many teeth hath a man according to the Poets Rule An. Sunt homini dentes triginta duo comedentes The Grinders which in time are said to cease Are numbered thirty two at best increase Qu. Which were the most famous Tyrants in their time An. 1. Nero a Heathen Roman Emperor who commanded Rome to be set on fire and then accused the Christians for doing it he also most unnaturally caused his Mothers belly to be ripped up that he might see the place of his conception 2. Caligula another Roman Emperor who wished that all the people of Rome had but one neck that he might strike it off at a blow 3. Phalaris a Tyrant of Agrigentum in Sicily for whom Perillus made a brazen Bull into which those whom he intended to torture were put a fire being made under it the extremity of the heat causing them to roar out made the brazen statue to bellow like a Bull the Tyrant only just in this causing Perillus to hansel it first himself upon which Ovid thus writes Nec enim lex justior ulla Quam necis Artificis arte perire sua Most just it is a man should be tormented With that which first his cruel wit invented 4. Dionisius a King of the said country of Sicily whose Tyrannies were so odious that there were continual execrations poured on him only one old woman prayed for his life who being asked the cause made answer that she knew his Grand-father to have been bad and after by prayers they had obtained his death his Son succeeded far worse than the Father and after their curses had also prevailed over him came the present Tyrant worse than either for whose life she was resolved to pray lest after his decease the Devil himself should come amongst them Qu. Why do great persons bear themselves up high over their inferiors seeing we are all made of one mould An. Because too much familiarity breeds contempt the Eagle scorns to meddle with the Kite the Lyon with the Mouse to conend with an ignoble enemy is an act inglorious and to conquer them almost as much dishonour as by them to be overcome Qu. Wherefore do the Jews break the Glass in which the Bride and Bridegroom drink An. To admonish them that all things in this world are transitory and brittle as the Glass and therefore they must be moderate in their pleasure and desires Qu. What custom had they of Baeotia in Greece concerning their marriage of the daughters An. When the Bride was carried home to her betrothed Husband they used to burn before the door the Axel-tree of
Earldoms of Guyen and Poictou by Elbiner his wife and a great part of Ireland by conquest towards the latter end of his Reign he was much troubled with the unnatural Rebellion of his Sons He dyed the sixth day of July Anno 1189. and Reigned twenty four years and seven months lacking eleven days Richard the first for his valor and magnanimous courage sirnamed Coeur de Lion he with a most puissant Army warred in the Holy-Land where by his acts he made his name very famous overcoming the Turks in several Battels whom he had almost driven out of Syria he also took the Isle of Cyprus which he afterwards exchanged for the Title of King of Jerusalem after many worthy atchievements performed in those Eastern parts returning homewards to defend Normandy and Aquitain against the French he was by a Tempest cast upon the Coast of Austria where he was taken prisoner and put to a most grievous Ransom finally he was slain at the siege of Chaluz in France by a shot from an Arbalist the use of which warlike Engine he first shewed to the French whereupon a French Poet made these Verses in the person of Antropos Hoc volo non alia Richardum marte perire Ut qui Francigenis Balistae primitus usum Tradidit ipse sui rem primitus experiatur Quamque aliis docuit in se enim sentiat artis It is decreed thus must great Richard die As he that first did teach the French to dart An Arbalist 't is just he first should try The strength and taste the Fruits of his own Art In his days lived those Outlaws Robin Hood Little John c. King John next succeeded or rather usurped the Crown his eldest Brothers Son Arthur of Britain being then living He was an unnatural Son to his Father and an undutiful subject to his Brother neither sped he better in his own Reign the French having almost gotten his Kingdom from him who on the Popes curse came to subdue it with whom joyned many of his Subjects by which the Land was brought to much misery Finally after a base submission to the Popes Legat he was poysoned by a Monk at Sw●nested-Abby after he had reigned seventeen years and five months lacking eight days and lyeth buried at Worcester Henry the third Son to King John against whom the rebellious Barons strongly warred yet however he expelled the intruding French out of England confirmed the Statutes of Magna Charta and having reigned fifty six years and twenty eight days was buried at Westminster of which Church he built a great part Edward the first sirnamed Long-shanks who warred in the Holy-Land where he was at the time of his Fathers death a most Heroick magnanimous Prince he awed France subdued Wales and brought Scotland into subjection disposing of the Crown thereof according to his pleasure he brought from thence the Regal Chair still reserved in Westminster-Abby he was a right vertuous and fortunate Prince Reigned thirty four years seven months and odd days and lyeth buried at Westminster Edward the second a most dissolute Prince hated of his Nobles and contemned by the vulgar for his immeasurable love to Pierce Gaveston and the two Spencers on whom he bestowed most of what his Father had purchased with his Sword as one writeth in these Verses Did Longshanks purchase with his conquering hand Albania Gascoyn Cambria Ireland That young Carnarvon his unhappy Son Should give away all that his Father won He having Reigned nineteen years six months and odd days was deposed and Edward his eldest Son Crowned King Edward the third that true pattern of vertue and valor was like a rose out of a Bryar an excellent Son of an evil Father he brought the Scots again to a formal obedience who had gained much on the English in his Fathers life time laid claim to the Crown of France in right of his Mother and in pursuance of his Title gave the French two great overthrows taking their King prisoner with divers others of the chief Nobility he took also that strong and almost impregnable Town of Callice with many other fair possessions in that Kingdom Reigned fifty years four months and odd days and was buried at Westminster Richard the second Son to Edward the black Prince the eldest Son of King Edward the third an ungovern'd and dissolute King He rejected the sage advice of his Grave Counsellors was most ruled by his own self-will'd passions lost what his Father and Grand-father had gained and at last his own life to the Lancastrian faction in his time was that famous or rather infamous rebellion of Wat Taylor and Jack Straw He having Reigned twenty two years three months and odd days was deposed and murdered at Pomfret Castle Henry the fourth Son to John of Gaunt Duke of Lancaster third Son to Edward the third obtained the Crown more by force than by lawful succession he was a wise prudent Prince but having gotten the Crown unjustly was much troubled with insurrection of of the subjects which he having quieted surrendred to fate having reigned thirteen years six months and odd days and was buried at Canterbury Henry the fifth who from a dissolute vicious Prince became the mirror of Kings and pattern of all Heroick performance he pursued his Title to the Crown of France bear the French at Agin Court and was in a Parliament of their Nobility Clergy and Commons ordained Heir apparent to the French Crown but lived not to possess it dying in the full carrier of his victories at Vincent Boys in France and was brought over into England and buried at Westminster He Reigned nine years five months and odd days Henry the sixth sirnamed of Windsor his birth-place of whom it was prophesied that What Henry of Monmouth had won which was his Father Henry of Windsor should lose He was a very pious Prince and upheld his State during the life of his Unkles John Duke of Bedford and Humphrey of Glocester after whose deaths the Nobility growing factious he not only lost France to the French but England and his life to the Yorkish faction He having reigned thirty eight years was overthrown by Edward Earl of March descended by the Mothers side from Lionel Duke of Clarence second Son to King Edward the third was arrested and sent to the Tower where within a while after he was murdered and buried at Cherlsey since removed to Windsor Edward the fourth a prudent politick Prince He after nine bloody Battels especially that of Tawton in which were slain of the English thirty six thousand on both sides was at last quietly seated in his dominions of England and Ireland Reigned twenty two years one month and odd days and was buried at Windsor Edward the fifth his Son a King proclaimed but before his Coronation was murdered in the Tower Richard the third brother to Edward the fourth was Crowned King ascending to the same by steps of blood murdering King Henry the sixth and Prince Edward his Son 3.