SUBJECT Teares of a woman in a deepe Consumption or in any other languishing disease The Soliloquie Consisting of three parts viz 1 A complaint and description of the nature of the disease 2 The cause of the maladie 3 The hope of recoverie part 1 The First part of the Soliloquie expressing A complaint and description of the nature of the disease THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray ALl flesh is as grasse saith the Apostle 1. Pet 1 24. and all the glory of man as the flower of the grasse The grasse withereth and the flowâ— thereof falleth away Blessed Apostle hoâ— truely hast thou discribed the condition oâ— humanitie O how sensible am I of thâ— piercing trueth of that sacred text Those whom age enforceth to decline doe easily feele their approaching autumne Io 4.35 and when they lift up their eyes and looke on the fieldâ— on the drooping yeeres of their parched selves they easily conclude themselves to be white allready unto the horvest But must death be confined to the leasure of antiquitie and allways be locked out untill it hath complyed with age to destroy the prison O noe I find it otherwise Death may as easily enteâ— at the gates of diseases as at the stooping salie-port of numerous yeeres Mee think'sâ— see it staring and gaping upon mee with aâ— eager appetite and when I pleade the minoritie of my time it telleth mee that the flowes may be cropped in their spring True it is that every one in the prime of yeeres is like unto grasse priding himselfe in the verdure of youth if yet hee be permitted to enjoy iâ— with delight Wee grow up with the strength of a juycie stemme and beare the flowers oâ— beawtie and glory But when our pompe hath jollied it selfe in the pleasure of earth and our strength hath wantonned among the painted flowers of the springing fields at length the sappe shall returne the Sunne shall withdraw it selfe the plant shall wither and the sith shall cut it downe But is this true in those alone whose hearie heads incline to the earth and whose stooping bodies are bowed by antiquitie Alas noe Diseases have a power as greate as hath age and can worke the carkeise in the selfe same mould as doeth length of dayes I am sure it is so I find it so I see it so I feele it so in the continuance of mine infirmitie The naturall heate moisture of my body decline like the juyce of the flowers In the time of their autumne and what a number of yeares could not easily have effected the sharpnesse of a maladie can quickly conclude Man dyeth saith Iob Iob 14.10 and wasteth away yea man giveth up the ghost and where is hee Too true too true it is that I dye while I live and I wast away when I hope to increase My life is but a lingering death for my meates nourish mee not my drinkes comfort mee not my physick restore's mee not my clothes content mee not and my bed easeth mee not When I hope that my meate will nourish mee then the weakenesse of my stomack chides mee for my hope and tell 's mee that it is wearie of the labour of the teeth When I desire that my drinke should comfort mee then the in-disposition of my concoction frustrateth my desires and causeth my stomack to render back the present in contempt of the briberie When I too seriously rely upon the skill of the Physitian and have a kind of confidence that his physick shall restore mee then either his ignorance of my disease or the debilitie of my deaded body or the in-disposition of the druggs flowte's mee for my confidence and tell 's mee I must dye When my clothes are presented to the heate of the fire and requested to convey the warmth to my chillowed body then either the ayer lyeth in wayte and robbeth them of the heate or else the stricktnesse of the poares of my shrivelled skinne deny it accesse by those contracted doores Iob. 7.13 vers 14 vers 15 vers 16 When I say My bed shal comfort mee my couch shall ease my complaint them am I skared with dreames and terrified through visions so that my soule chooseth death rather then life I loath it I would not live allway let mee alone for my dayes are vanitie Ps 22.15 My strength is dryed up like a pot-sheard my tongue cleaveth to my jawes and I am brought into the dust of death I am chastened with paine upon my bed Iob 33 19. Ps 22.17 and the multitude of my bones with strong paine I may tell all my bones they looke and stareâ— upon mee Lord what a walking ghost am I become even able to affright the world with amazement and wonder at the power of a Consumption Eyes fare yee well yee shall noe more be admird by spectatours nor convey enticements of wickednesse to my deluded heart Eares fare yee well yee shall noe more enjoy the fond delights of earthly musick nor shall the Ecchoeing Choristars of the yealding ajer any more bewitch you with the melodie of their voyces And yee the rest of my senses take your leaves labour noe more the service of my body for bitternesse hath seized upon my tast roughnesse my touch and dullnesse my smelling Mine eyes have now none other object then the bare perusing of â—he craggie mountaines of my rising bones and â—he pale dull lead-colloured skinne is so brivelled and deformed just like the parchment which is contracted and puckered by the â—eate of the fire Mine Eares are entertained with noe other sound 's then a hollow cough which borroweth from my lungs as much of their froath as they can spare at a time and make's mee see how I howerly consume by mammocks All that I have is paine and all that I am is a burden to my selfe When I thinke to walke my knees complaine my Feete are unwilling if the charitable hand of a friend supporteth mee I am to beginne againe to learne to goe When I thinke to discourse the first word biddeth mee be silent and speake noe more lest my spirits should slinke from mee in the ajer of my speech I am growne as much a trouble to society as they doe appeare a burden unto mee I am not so weake in my digestion as I am various in mine appetite and if speedily I am not furnished with what I long for I am presently passionate if it cometh as I desire I am cloyed with the sight I puzzle mine invention to become my Caterer and if I obtaine what I thinke upon I am surfieted with looking upon it Full I am of paine but distinctly and most predominantly I know not where Every part hath a share in the anguish and yet I cannot say which part is most afflicted I cry when I am pained
Angells to the latter the un-godly are hurried and tumbled by cursed fiends and staring ghosts Here indeede the wicked spend their dayes in mirth Iob. 21.13 Ps 49.14 but in a moment they goe downe to the grave They are layed like sheepe in the grave death shall feede on them and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning and their beauty shall consume in the grave from their dwelling From thence there is noe redemption Noe noe there is a greate gulfe Lu 16.26 2. Pet. 3.12 and greater there will be when the earth shall be dissolved and the elements shall melt with fervent heate Then onely heaven and hell shall remaine and from either of these there is noe departure The wicked would be freed out of hell but cannot the godly neither can nor would be deprived of heaven Lu 16.26 Betweene us and you said Abraham to Dives there is a greate gulfe fixed so that they which would passe from hence to you cannot neither can they passe to us which would come from thence Doest thou heare that ô my perplexed soule Doest thou know that thy sentence will be either Come thou blessed or Depart thou cursed Mat. 25 34. vers 41 Doest thou consider that that sentence will be immediately so soone as thou shalt take thy flight from my body O my conscience why hast thou not checked mee for those sinnes of mine which have deserved the sentence of horrour O my soule Ps 89.48 why hast thou forgotten that thou must leave my body Dye I must for what man is hee that liveth and shall not see death Shall hee deliver his soule from the hand of the grave The righteous and the reprobate even both of them shall assuredly dye but the latter shall have a second death the former by death shall enter into life Ps 1.4 The wicked shall be as chaffe which the wind driveth away from the face of the earth and when they dye they shall be cast into un-quenchable fire Mat 3.12 Mat 13 30. Io 12.24 but the righteous shall be like the wheate which shall be gathered into the barne But first they must be sowed before they be reaped Except a corne of wheate fall into the ground and dye it abideth alone but if it dye it bringeth forth much fruit They dye to sinne in their regeneration and they dye by reason of sinne at their change but this all is that they may spring up in glory Lord since I needs must dye let mee dye in thy favour that I may live for ever in thy celestiall Kingdome Pardon all the sinnes I have committed especially my forgetfullnesse of the time of my dissolution So long as I live let mee repent mee of my life and remember my death Give mee as certaine an assurance of a life in glory as I know and am certaine of a temporall death So shall my life here be spent in sorrow for my sinnes and by death I shall passe to those mansions of eternitie I know that I shall dye I begge that I may live Let my sinne here have a death in mee Col. 3.3 and let my soule hereafter have a life for ever with Christ in God 2. A godly preparation against the minuit of death MY soule is bowed downe to the dust Ps 44.25 my belly cleaveth unto the earth and that litle all that is left of my declining body hasteneth apace to the chambers of death Mee think's I heare my greate Creatour speaking unto mee as hee did once to Hezekiah lying on his sick bed Is 38.1 and saying Set thine house in order for thou shalt dye and not live But what house is that which I must set in order Is it my body Alas I have noe power to order that I have referred it to the Physitians and they instead of composing it and regulating it for the recoverie of my health doe but vexe it with draggs and torment it with medicines I feele the hand of death lying hard upon mee and seizing upon every part and member of my body But if it be not the house of my body is it then my house-hold or familie which I must set in order To this indeede I am instructed even by common civility for I have a journie to take a long and a farre journie and never more shall I returne to this place of miserie I must therfore bid my people farewell I must give them a charge and tell them what my pleasure what my desire is they should performe in my absence and that is onely to be obedient to the lawes of my God But yet mee think's this is not all There is yet another house which I must set in order a house of farre more consequence to mee then either of the other The poore rotten house of my body is ready to fall and to come to ruine by the stormes of my sicknesse Yet I strive to mend it and to support it by the various potions and severall dose's prescribed mee by the learned but all I believe will not prevaile downe it must and fall into ashes My familie and house-hold may long continue allthough I depart and leave them behind mee But all this while what have I done for my inner house What course have I taken for my sinfull soule which must shortly appeare at the greate tribunall That ô that is the house which I must order where the King of Kings doeth looke for entertainment If that be not empty Mat 12 44. swept and garnshed it can never content my husband my Lord my Iesus First therfore by an humble confession I will empty it of all pollutions and uncleanesses which have long obscured themselves and lurked in the corners Then will I sweepe it by repentance watering it with my teares and afterwards I will besiech my God to adorne and garnish it with his spirituall graces Ps 4.4 I now beginne I blesse my God to commune with mine owne heart upon my bed and to search out mine iniquities O my God be pleased to give mee a quick apprehension of all mine enormities Sharpen my memorie and rowze up and awake my sleeping conscience that I may muster up all my sinnes in order and examine the wicked and sinfull passages of my life I will beginne with mine infancie and proceede through all the crooked turnings and by-paths of my life even unto this very minuit of my sorrow I will search 1. What sinnes I have committed 2. How long they have dwelt with mee 3. What chidings and contentions I had in my conscience for the committing of them 4. How often I repented for them 5. How true that repentance was 6. What amendment did follow upon that repentance 7. What thankfullnesse I rendered unto God for that repentance 8. What joy I receaved in my new obedience 9. What holy resolutions I made to continue in the way of the commandements And when I have met with a sinne I will
makest sick in smiting by reason of my sinnes yet in considence and full assurance of thy mercy I commit the keeping of my soule unto thee as unto a faithfull Creatour O let that live and it shall praise thee for in thee doe I trust let mee not be confounded neither let mee despaire of the greatnesse of thy mercies Ps 23.4 And though now I walke in the shadow of death yet I know that it is in thy power to restore mee to health Lord if it may stand with thy secret will be pleased to recover mee that I may glorifie thy goodnesse in thy worke of power Blesse all the lawfull meanes that shall be used for that purpose Give skill to the Physitians vertue to the medicines strength to my spirits and health to my body Let mee recover my strength that I may imploy it in thy service and restore mee to health that I may be more active in mine obedience to all thy commandements But if otherwise thou hast determined and resolvest at this time to make mee as water spilt upon the ground 2. Sam. 14.14 graunt mee a willing and ready submission to thy decree Either abate the torments of mine afflicted body or increase my patience that I may not offend thee in my sufferings Make mee to magnifie thee whether by life or by death and graunt mee so safe a passage and conduct in the armes of thy mercy that I may be conveyed safely into Abraham's bosome Graunt this ô father for the love and merits of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely intercessour and redeemer in whose name words I farther call upon thee saying Our Father which art in heaven Hallowed be thy name Thy Kingdome come Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our dayly bread And forgive us our trespasses as wee forgive them that trespasse against us leade us not into temptation but deliver us from evill for thine is the Kingdome the power and the glory for ever and ever Amen exercise 4 4. The consolation of the godly in the hower of death VVHerfore is light given to him that is in miserie saith holy Iob and life unto the bitter in soule Iob. 3.20 vers 21 Which long for death but it cometh not and digge for it more then for hid treasures vers 22 Which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave This was the complaint of a faithfull man and may now be the lamentation of a sorrowfull woman I have grieved and I have mourned for my sinnes and my good God I blesse him for it is gratiously pleased in the bowells of his mercy and compassion to give mee an assurance of happinesse by the merits of my Iesus But when comest thou ô my sweete my longed for my desired Saviour Thou knowest my paines which draw from mee many sinsull thoughts and un-fitting cryes Thou takest notice of the cunning suggestions of my greatest adversarie and his busie allurements to rob mee of my hope Thou seest how sometimes hee would leade mee into carnall securitie and sometimes into a beliefe that my verie vicet are vertues or not seene by Thee or not to be punished by thee and sometimes againe hee striveth to hurrie mee into the verie gulfe of despaire But I know and am assured that through the merits of my Redeemer the gates of hell shall not be able to prevaile against mee Mat. 16 18. Io 13.1 Prov. 12.28 for whom thou lovest thou wilt love unto the end I know that in the way of righteousnesse there is life and in the path-way thereof there is noe death Hence away therfore yee fowle fiends and rebellious tempters What doe yee here fawning and grinning hoping to betray a penitent soule These teares which I shed for the wounds that I made in the body of my Saviour by my piercing sinns are too pretious a water for you to hath in too choyce a wine for you to tast of here are noe hopes for the enemies of mine indulgent Iesus Though my groanes alas cannot be free from the pollution of sinne yet they shall not advantage you in what yee desire Ps 119.115 Away from mee yee wicked ones I will keepe the commandements of my God Thinke not to affright mee with my approaching death Phil. 1.23 for I desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ Death I feare thee not come come and trye thy power but know that thy countenance which is so terrible to reprobates is the producer of joy comfort to my wearied heart Thou poore feeble despised nothing what power or strength is left thee to boast of Grave why gapest thou why standest thou so open as if thou didst hope to tryumph Hos 13 14. and conquer mee My Christ did threaten to be thy plagues ô death my Iesus did resolve to be thy destruction ô grave and that repentance should be hid from his eyes Is 25.8 1 Cor 15.54 Hee promised to swallow up death in victorie and to wipe away teares from off all faces This hee did promise and this hee hath performed for by his blessed Apostle I am well assured that death it selfe is swallowed up in victorie Now I dare challenge you ô yee impotent and powerlesse adversaries I dare scorne vers 55 and contemne you O death where is thy sting O grave where is thy victorie Thy sting ô death was pullud out by him who is the Lord of life The strength of thy sting was that law which was fullfilled by my mercifull Iesus Hos 13 14. Ps 49.15 Rom 14.9 Hee hee hath ransomed mee from the power of the grave hath redeemed mee from death Hee hath redeemed my soule from the power of hell for hee shall receave mee To this end hee dyed and rose againe re-vived that hee might be Lord both of the dead and of the living Ps 68.20 Ps 48.14 Rom 14 7. vers 8. Hee that is my God is the God of salvation unto whom belong the issues from death This God is my God for ever and ever hee shall be my guide even unto death I live not to my selfe nor doe I dye unto my selfe for whether I live I live unto the Lord whether I dye I dye unto the Lord whether I live therfore Phil 1.20 or dye I am the Lord 's Christ shall be magnified in my body whether it be by life or by death for to mee to live is Christ vers 21 Heb. 12 18. vers 22 vers 23 vers 24 and to dye is gaine I come not to the mount that might not be touched nor to blacknesse and darknesse and tempest but I come unto mount Sion to the generall assemblie and â—rch of the first-borne which are written in heaven and to God the judg of all and to the spirits of just men made perfect and to Iesus the Mediatour of the new covenant and to the blood of sprinkling that
I climb up into a tree for it Yea I doe climb and into a tree too O it is the tree of mine owne pride and vanitie which beareth leaves goodly broade shadowing leaves but it beareth noe fruit at all nothing but keyes and those keyes are fitted onely for the wide gate that leadeth to destruction Mat. 7.13 they will never un-lock the gates of heaven This child is young hee is a babe a babe in age a babe in growth I am a babe not in age not in growth but such a one as the Corinthians were to whom the Apostle wrote 1. Cor. 3.1 and sayd that hee could not speake unto them as unto spirituall but as unto carnall even as unto babes in Christ My child is young and tender and simple apt to be led with trifles to stragle abroad with children to be caried any whither at the pleasure of her to whose charge hee is left I am a child too a verier child then mine owne apt to be tossed to and fro Eph. 4.14 and caried about with every wind of doctrine by the sleight of men and cunning craftinesse whereby they lye in wayt to deceave And now what shall I doe I am the verier child of the two the most sinfull of the two and yet my child is afflicted with sicknesse and to mee noe other punishment is at present alotted but the griefe which I have for the sicknesse of my child Hee still cryeth still must I therfore cry Hee groaneth and I must allso groane Yea I doe groane I groane in spirit that my Iesus may cure the diseases of my soule I groane too for my child my prettie sweete babe that my Iesus may howsoever cure the infirmities of his soule and if hee so pleaseth recover allso the health of his body This must be the way to him I must thus goe Io. 14.6 Ps 30.8 for hee himselfe hath styled himselfe the way I will therfore cry unto the Lord and get mee unto my Lord right humbly I will goe to the gate of the physitian the gate of mercy and there I will knock and call and cry for entrance I will fall upon my knees and wring my hands and smite my breast Is 38.14 and weepe and mourne like a Crane and chatter like a Swallow even untill mine eyes faile with looking upward and thus will I say unto him The Prayer GReate God whose power is irresistable and whose pleasure is the rule of thy servant's obedience bow downe thine eare to my sad intreaties Thou hast stricken mee with sorrow who have not mourned for the cause and by the sicknesse of mine infant thou hast taught mee the frailtie of our mortall bodyes I see that all flesh is as grasse 1. Pet. 1.24 and the glory thereof but as the flowre of the field Mine impenitent heart I must confesse deserveth thy justice and my sinfull life this punishment of my tender infant But thou ô Lord art mercifull though I am sinfull and art apt to forgive those that truely repent O my God I desire to be sorrowfull for mine offences and earnestly I besiech thee to give mee true contrition for all my sinnes Iob. 7.20 O thou preserver of men remitt both my sinnes and the punishment which is justly due unto mee for them that I may rejoyce in thy mercy and magnifie thee for thy goodnesse Looke gratiously upon this child who feeleth the scourge though gently of thy justice due both for his and for my transgressions O let not thy wrathfull displeasure continue upon him nor my greater crimes cause an addition unto his torments Thy servant David confessed his sinnes and submitted to thy rod but yet hee cryed concerning his people 2. Sam. 24.19 and sayd These sheepe what have they done I dare not justifie this thy patient but I must needes acknowledg that for mine iniquities as well as for his thou thus doest wound him But ô thou who didst once command Mat. 19 14. that litle children should be brought unto thee didst prefer them for patternes both of innocency and humilitie shew now thy power in the weakenesse of this child Enable him with patience to endure thy visitation and direct mee to the meanes which may conduce to his recoverie if thou in thy secret decree hast so determined it Ps 6.2 Have mercy upon him ô Lord for hee is weake ô Lord heale him and free him from his sufferings Thou art hee that tookest him out of my wombe Ps 22.9 Ps 9.13 Ps 41.2 and canst as easily if thou pleasest lift him up now from the gates of death Preserve him ô God if it may be thy heavenly pleasure and keepe him alive that hee may be blessed upon earth ô heale his soule and raise him up againe Give a blessing to the meanes which shall be used for his recovery Ps 119 91. Ps 56.8 that all things in their order may be knowne to serve thee O let the teares of mee thine afflicted supplicant be put into thy botle and let the cryes of mee thy mournefull hand-mayd who beg for this infant be heard in the eares of thee the Lord of hosts Thou thy selfe didst weepe ô Christ Io. 11.35 for the death of Lazarus take compassion therfore on the weeping mother of this diseased child O let not my teares be shed in vaine but mercifully free this infant from his anguish and sufferings Yet howsoëver thou hast decreed righteous father not my will Mat 26.39 Ier 10.24 but thy will be done Onely let mee besiech thee to visit him in mercy and not in thy fury lest he be consumed and brought to nought Make him able to beare what thou determinest to send and in thy good time raise him out of this miserie Lord give mee allso a willing submission to thy holy pleasure that so I may neither discover too much fondnesse of affection to this my beloved issue when I see him subject to frailtie and mortalitie nor too immoderately grieve if thou receavest him to thy selfe Forgive whatsoëver is amisse in him and let his soule de deare and pretious in thy sight O Let thy mercy pleade against thy severitie let thy gratious promises be had in thy remembrance and let thy Christ be heard in his intercession both for mee and mine To thy will ô Lord make mee readily submitt to thy holy pleasure make mee willingly yeeld Thine is this infant Ps 39.13 and thou lentest him mee ô spare him a litle that hee may recover his strength before hee goe hence and be noe more seene To thy pleasure ô heavenly father I willingly refer him besieching thee to send him thy grace while hee shall remaine upon earth and after that receave him into glory for the worthinesse of thine onely begotten Sonne Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 17 THE SEAVENTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a Mother for the death of her child The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5.
the wine and the other accustomed entertainments are given at each wee goe to the church for the consummation of each onely here is the difference that at the one wee rejoyce but at the other wee mourne Every guest that is willing to comply with the preâ—ent occasion must as well be sad at this as â—e merrie at the other Weepe wee may and weepe wee must especially my selfe who have â—ost my selfe But yet let mee take heede that I offend not in my teares lest that which is my duety be turned into a crime I must especially take heede that I erre not in the cause of these laments for if I griere at the happinesse of him that is departed I discover an envie rather then affection If I grieve for the losse which my selfe sustaineth I must take heede that I wrong not my confidence in God I may not offend in the number of my teares for if I weepe too much I may forfeit my hope or at least I may occasion those that behould mee to thinke that I doubt of the salvation of the dead Weepe I may and weepe I must but for feare lest I offend in these my teares in my earnest prayers I will begge that they may be sanctified To my God will I goe for his direction and assistance and in this storme of my teares I will shelter my selfe under his protection and humbly will I tender my petitions and say The Prayer O All-mighty and ever-living Lord God thou who knowest whereof wee are made Ps 103.14 and who remembrest that wee are but dust give mee grace I besiech thee to be thankfull unto thee for all thy mercies more particularly both for thy deliverance of my husband from the miseries of this life and for affording mee the meanes in peace to bring him to his longest home Lord so arme mee with patience in this time of affliction that I may not offend thee in my want or excesse of mourning Gen 3.19 Dust wee are and to dust wee shall returne From the earth wee came and to the earth wee must goe This way which thy servant must now be disposed of is the way wherein thou wilt one day leade mee allso to my rest O prepare mee for the time of my greate account Eccl 12 7. that so when my dust shall returne to the earth as it was my spirit may returne unto thee who didst give it Let his spectacle of mortality live in my memorie that so when I consider that the time will come that as naked as I came out of my mother's wombe Iob 1.21 so naked shall I thither returne againe I may wholly endeavour and seeke to be clothed with the righteousnesse of thy Sonne Rom 6 4. With him thou hast beene gratiously pleased that by baptisme I should be buried into death graunt allso good God that like as hee was raised up from the dead by the glory of thee the eternall Father even so I allso may walke in newnesse of life Make mee ever thinke upon death which will seize on mee judgment which will examine mee and hell which would devoure mee that heaven may receave mee Let this lifelesse carkeise put mee in mind of the malice of sinne which is the cause of death and of that sentence which immediatly followeth this death Thou seest ô Lord how unwilling I am to part from this frozen and earthie lumpe Thou knowest how deepe the departure of my joy doeth pierce and wound mine afflicted heart O be thou my comforter in this greatest sorrow Ps 119.96 that seeing now I see that all things doe certainly come to an end I may wholly endeavour to please thee alone who shalt never have end Is 50.3 O thou who cloathest the heavens with blacknesse and hast cloathed mee at this time who am but earth ashes with these mourning weedes graunt that by these I may be instructed to shunne the fraile and fading vanities of the earth and strive for that Kingdome which shall endure for ever Be pleased to speake peace to my troubled mind that so though nature hath power to enforce mee to weepe yet grace may prevaile to moderate my mourning Ps 106 9. Ps 104.9 O thou who diddest once rebuke the red sea that thy servants might passe through them as on drie land thou who hast set a bound to the seas that they may not passe over nor turne againe to cover the earth be pleased so to rebuke the waters of mine affliction and put such a bound to these my teares that they may not drowne this earth of my feeble body but may give place to confidence and comfort in thy mercy Ps 114.3 Iordane did yeeld to thy command was driven back so drive thou back the flood of my teares that they swell not above the bankes of moderation and hope Let the grave of the deceased put mee in mind of the tombe of my blessed Redeemer that so when I am bowed downe with sorrow at the buriall of this earth I may be raised with joy for the benefits of the resurrection of my Saviour Christ Hee hath plucked out the sting which sinne had formerly given unto death 1. Cor. 15.56 vers 57 ô let mee ever be thankfull unto thee my God who givest us victorie through Iesus Christ. Give mee an assured beliefe of the generall resurrection that when I grieve at the placing of this flesh in the grave I may rejoyce in the certaintie of his rising againe Ps 25.17 Though the troubles of my heart be now enlarged yet bring thou mee out of all my feares Ps 94.19 In the midst of the sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô God refresh my soule Lord make mee dye to sinne and live by grace that when I shall put off this tabernacle of flesh I may dwell with thee in those eternall mansions of perfect happinesse through Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen subject 21 THE TWENTIE-FIRST SUBjECT Teares of a woman in the state of widow-hood The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray BEcause Ierusalem had forsaken the Lord was was gone backward Ier 15.6 vers 8. Therfore sayd my God their widowes are increased to mee above the sand of the seas vers 6. Hee who was wearie of repenting was not wearie of destroying and yet the judgments which fell upon the Iewes were easier to the stronger then to the weaker sexe The males had a period set to their earthly troubles when the sword devoured them but the poore females were left alive destitute both of the comfort and societie of their husbands Death is a judgment mixed often with mercy because it finisheth our earthly sufferances whereas a life that is lead in continued sorrowes is so much the more burdensome
fidelitie nor his religion could preserve him from the sentence of a temporall death O what would I not doe to call him back againe What would I not give to have him restored to life againe But all that I can either doe or give cannot perswade his soule to returne back to its prison Were I the most rich and wealthie in the world yet could not my treasures urchase his returne Noe noe I am well assured of the trueth of the Psalmist who saith that They who trust in their wealth Ps 49.6 and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches vers 7. none of them can by any meanes redeeme his brother nor give to God a ransome for him Well then seing that I cannot fetch him from the grave I will yet send up my sighes towards the place where hee is blessed This I may doe without any check either of reason or religion It was a curse which God did Inflict upon Iehojakim for his sinnes Ier 22.17 even for his coveteousnesse for his oppression and for his violence vers 18 That they should not lament for him saying Ah my brother But on the contrarie when Deborah though she was but Rebeckah's nurse was buried beneath Bethel under an oake Gen 35.8 the name of it was called Allon-Bachuth the oake of weeping When the enemies of David were sisited with sicknesse Ps 35.14 hee behaved himselfe as though they had beene his friends or his brethren yea hee bowed downe heavily as one that mourneth for his mother But hee who now is dead was not mine enemie but my friend yea and noe common friend but a brother yea and not a brother in the flesh so much as in affection even as deare as a mother why then should I not sorrow for the losse of such a brother I will grieve I will lament when I remember the love and the courtesies which hee shewed unto mee and I will speake in the language of the Church to Christ and say O thou that wert my brother Cant 8.1 that sucked the breasts of my mother when I should find thee without I would kisse thee yet I should not be despised I will lament him as David did Saul and Ionathan and say 2. Sam. 1.19 vers 23 vers 26 The beautie of Israël is dead hee was lovely and pleasant in his life I am distressed for thee my brother very pleasant hast thou beene unto mee thy love to mee was wonderfull passing the love of women But what advantage to the dead are the teares of the living Can my sighes inspire life into his bosome Can a draught of my teares fetch him back againe to life O noe 't is this 't is this therfore that doeth heighten and increase my sorrowes even that my teares cannot recover him whom I lament But cease fond woman cease thy sobbs and cryes of discontent By the extreamitie of thy passion thou mayst hasten to his grave yet if thâ—… murderest thy selfe with excessive sorrow thy soule may be deprived of the locietie of his 'T is true indeede 't is most true Litle can I expect to come to heaven if I violently force my selfe from the earth Why then doe I take on as if I either suspected his happinesse or doubted of following him What comfore can it bring to his body of earth to have iâ— cabined in the grave with his dispersing asheâ— The dust of both of us may mixe in the vault and yet noe joy arise to our senselesse asher If his earth was that which drew mine affertion I see my fondnesse in the corruption of that earth but if his gracious soule was the object of my love I must strive to come where that surviveth To heaven hee 's gone and to heaven I 'll hasten and because I will goe the surest way I will walke in those paths which faith and patience shall direct mee in I will noe more disturbe the peace of my mind since that cannot helpe mee to the companie of him Weepe indeede I doe I am enforced unto it 't is the law of nature 't is an act of necessitie I cannot avoide it Yet though I weepe I will labour for content and since my God as I undoubtedly believe hath beene pleased to crowne my brother with glory I will beseech him to comfort mee here with his grace I will not immoderately weepe lest I injure my selfe I will not Weepe without hope lest I offend my Maker but that I may weepe as I should and hope as I ought live as I am required I will humble my selfe at the feete of him to whom my brother is gone and I will pray unto him and say The Prayer ALl mighty God ever-lasting father Is 9.6 thou in whom wee live and move and have pur beeing be pleased to take pittie upon thy distressed servant grieving for the losse of a â—eloved brother Thou knowest Lord how â—eerely our hearts were knitt in affection and â—herfore how justly I lament my losse Beâ—hold how these teares doe witnesse my love and imitate that oyntment on Aaron's head Ps 133.2 which went downe to the skirts of his out ward garments Behold how these dropps like that deaw of Harmon and that deaw which descended upon the mountaines of Zion vers 3. doe arise from that unitie which thou hast commanded O how shall I beare the losse of him whom thou in thy law didst charge mee to love Thou ô God didst tye us together in the bond of love yet thou thy selfe hast seperated him from my sight But since it was thy pleasure to receave him to thy selfe be pleased allso to hasten my journie to him Give mee patience to endure this stroake of thy scourge and thankfully to acknowledge thy goodnesse in his happinesse Him thou hast taken fronâ— the evills to come Rom 7 24. ô deliver mee allso from thiâ— body of death Make mee setle mine affectioâ— onely upon thee that my delight may be wholly in thy righteous lawes Give mee a sight of my sinnes for which I have not grieved so much as for the losse of my deceased brother and turne all my teares into a godly sorrow for offending thy majestie Be thou unto mee a father in thy provident care and a brother in thy love that all my wants may be supplyed by thy sufficience On earth I see there is nothing permanent Lord let my treasure be stored in heaven Mat 6.21 and then where my treasure is let my heart be allso When it shall be thy pleasure to free mee from this tabernacle of flesh ô let mee be receaved into that quire of Saints whereof I doubt not but my brother is a joyfull member Graunt ô my God that when I have passed the waves of this troublesome world I may sing tryumphant Halelujahs to thy praise and glory through the merits of him who is mine elder brother even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen subject 24 THE TWENTIE-FOURTH
Ier 3.22 And this is hee to whom Israel replyeth and saith vers 23 Behold wee come unto thee for thou art the Lord our God Truely in vaine is salvation hoped for from the hills and from the multitude of mountaines truely the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel This is hee who promiseth unto Zion c 30.17 saying I will restore health unto thee and I will heale thee of thy wounds saith the Lord because they called thee an out-cast saying This is Zion whom no man seeketh after This is the same Lord to whom the people of Israel addressed themselves Hos 6.1 when they said Come let us returne unto the Lord for hee hath torne and hee will heale us hee hath smitten and hee will bind us up Since then my God hath cured both lands and waters and bodies and soules Since hee woundeth and hee healeth none can deliver out of his hand Since hee bringeth downe to the grave and bringeth up Since hee woundeth and his hands make whole Since it is hee onely who forgiveth all our iniquities healeth all our diseases and saveth our lives from destruction Since it is hee that bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Since it was hee that promised to penitent Iudah that hee would restore comforts to him and to his mourners Since it is hee alone who is the salvation of Israël Since it is hee that promised unto Zion to restore health unto her and to heale her of her wounds I will resolve therfore with the people of Israel to returne unto him for hee hath torne mee and hee alone can heale mee hee hath smitten mee and hee alone can bind mee up To him to him will I humbly sue for the cure of my wounded and distressed soule and to him will I willingly submitt my weake and feeble body I will powre out my soule unto him I will send up my supplications unto him and will pray and say The Prayer GReate Creatour full of compassion who both sendest sicknesse and restorest health be thou graciously pleased I most humbly beseech thee to turne thy wrath from thy distressed servant Thy hand ô Lord is heavie upon mee in this languishing consumption and the sting of my transgressions pierceth mee with sharpe and grievous torments Yet I must confesse ô my God that my sufferances doe not any wayes equall mine offences nor can the paines which I endure satisfie thee mine offended Lord for the least of my transgressions O my sinnes are upon mee Eze 33.10 and I pine away in the punishment for them how then shall I live My body languisheth my flesh consumeth Ps 22.15 Ps 39.11 Iob 33 19. vers 20 and now am I very neere drawne unto the dust of death Thou with thy rebukes doest correct mee for mine iniquities thou makest my beautie to consume away like a moath I am chastened with paine upon my bed and the multitude of my bones with strong paine so that my life abhorreth bread and my soule the daintie meate that is to be desired vers 21 My flesh is consumed away that it cannot be seene and my bones that were not seene vers 22 stick out My soule draweth neere unto the grave and my life to the destroyers But yet I know that with thee ô God is compassion Mat 9.12 and tender mercies The whole have noe neede of the Physitian but such as I who am sick and in miserie O that it might be sayd of mee as it was by Mary concerning her brother Lazarus Io 11.3 even that Shee whom thou lovest is sick O my God make mee thy friend in heart and soule and graunt that I may expresse it in my dutifull obedience to all thy commandements and then be thou my friend in thy succour and reliefe Ps 41.1 vers 2. Deliver mee now in this time of trouble preserve mee and If it may be thy good pleasure keepe mee alive make mee blessed upon the earth and deliver mee not over into the hands of death vers 3. Lord strengthen mee upon this my bed of languishing make thou turne thou all my bed in my sicknesse Thou hast chastened mee sore Ps 118.18 Ps 116.8 vers 9. Ps 143.6 ô give mee not over unto death but deliver my soule from death mine eyes from teares and my feete from falling that I may walke before thee in the land of the living Vnto thee ô my God doe I stretch forth my hands my soule thirsteth for thee as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee speedily ô Lord my spirit faileth hide not thy face from mee for I am become like unto them that goe downe into the pit Thou hast promised by thine Apostle Iam 5.15 that the prayer of faith shall save the sick and that thou wilt raise him up Lord I pray unto thee strengthen thou my faith I am sick Lord raise thou mee up and make good unto mee that thy promise by thy holy Apostle Heale mee ô Lord Ier 17.14 and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise O Lord I call upon thee Ps 141.1 hast thee unto mee consider my voyce now I cry unto thee and restore mee to health But howsoever if thou hast otherwise determined of mee ô my Iesus cleanse thou mee by thy blood and cure my soule by the merits of thy passion My sinnes I must confesse are the cause of my sicknesse but doe thou ô God Ps 44.22 blott out as a thick clowde my transgressions as a clowde my sinnes returne unto mee for thou hast redeemed mee O give mee patience in this time of adversitie give mee comfort in the examples of thy mercy and give mee assurance of thy love in the sanctifying of this sicknesse unto mee As my body doeth dayly draw neerer to the earth so make my soule allso dayly draw neerer unto heaven If it may be thy pleasure to restore mee to health againe ô let it be thy mercy allso to renew mine obedience But if thou art resolved by this disease to free mee from the labours of this wearisome world and to bring mee downe to my grave for thy Christs sake o my mercifull and indulgent father bring thou my soule into thy celestiall paradise O graunt that my sinnes may consume farre faster then doeth my flesh and as thou takest away the strength of my body so be pleased to adde unto the strength of my faith I am thine ô Saviour and cost thee deere even the very blood that issued from thy crucified body be thou allso mine ô Iesus both now and for ever Abate the temptations â—… Satan and arme mee with strength to resist his suggestions Ravish my soule with the love of thy selfe that so I may with willingnesse forsake the vanities of this world with readinesse lay downe this tabernacle of flesh and with comfort that my soule may
blesse you if yee be righteous vers 28 Ps 5.12 Ps 115.13 2. Tim 4.6 and â—ith favour hee will compasse you as with a shield Hee will blesse them that feare him both small and greate And now my children I have not much more to say to you for the time of my departure is at hand If yee doe heartily love your God I know that yee will affectionately love each other yee will be observant to your guardians and instructours yee will be courteous unto all Be not dismayed at any crosse or affliction at any losse or povertie which may fall upon you Mat 6.33 Deut 28.8 Ex 23.25 but seeke yee first the Kingdome of God and his righteousnesse and then all other things shall be added unto you Then the Lord shall command the blessing upon you both in your store-houses in all that yee set your hands unto Hee shall blesse your bread and your water Deutâ— 28.3 and take away sicknesse from the midst of you Blessed shall yee be in the citty and blessed shall yee be in the field vers 4. Blessed shaâ— be the fruits of your bodies and the fruit of your grounds and the fruits of your cattell and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe vers 5. Blessed shall be your basket vers 6. and your store Blessed shall yee be when yee come in and blessed shall yee beâ— when yee goe forth c. 7.13 The Lord will love youâ— and will blesse you and multiplie you buâ— will allso blesse the fruit of the wombe unto you and the fruit of your land and your corne and your wine and your oyle and the increase of your kine and the flocks of your sheepe in the places where yee shall live c. 28.12 Hee will open unto you his good treasure the heaven to give the raine unto your land in his season and to blesse all the worke of your hands Gen. 49.25 and yee shall lend unto many and yee shall not borrow Hee shall helpe you and blesse you with the blessings of heaven above blessings of the deepe that lyeth under and blessings of the breasts of the wombe And that hee may thus blesse you the same Lord direct your hearts preserve you in his blessing All that I can doe now is to pray for you and my weakenesse will hardly permit mee to doe that yet so long as I can speake I trust I shall pray and in my petitions remember both my selfe and you While I am yet alive it is my duety to pray for you and it is your duety allso to pray for mee The Lord graunt that wee may all doe what hee requireth at 〈◊〉 hands Doe not yee grieve too much that I am so neere my rest for it is the decree of â—…y God and the longing expectation of my â—earied selfe The Lord give you patience to â—ndure this affliction and the Lord give mee â—atience and perseverance unto the end Now I goe the way of all the earth 1. King 2.2 Keepe yee the Charge of the Lord your God to walke in his wayes to keepe his statutes vers 3. and his commandements and his judgments and his â—estimonies as it is written in the Scriptures that yee may prosper in all that yee doe and whithersoëver yee turne your hands The Lord give you the blessing of Iudah Deut. 33.7 and â—eare your voyces and let your hands be sufficient for you and let him be an helper to you from your enemies and the Lord give you the blessing of Benjamin vers 12 The Lord cover you all the day long and dwell betweene your shoulders And the Lord give you the blessing of Ioseph vers 13 Blessed of the Lord be your land for the pretious things of heaven for the deaw and for the deepe that coucheth beneath vers 14 and for the pretious fruits brought forth by the Sunne vers 16 and for the pretious things put forth by the Moone and for the pretious things of the earth and fullnesse thereof and for the good will of him that dwelt in the hush The eternall God be your resuge vers 27 and underneath you the everlasting armes 2. Sam. 7.26 And now ô Lord God let it please thee to blesse the house of thy servant Vers 29 and with thy blessing letâ— familie of thy servant be blessed for ever Deut. 26.15 ps 67.1 Lâ—… downe from thine holy habitation from heare and blesse them O my God he mercifull uâ— them and blesse them and cause thy face to 〈◊〉 upon them And now with Iacob I have made an 〈◊〉 of commanding you Gen. 49.33 and ready I am to gathâ—… up my feete into the bed and to yeeld up the 〈◊〉 and to be gathered unto my fathers Onâ—… come yee neere my deere ones that I 〈◊〉 kisse you and that my cold and clammy haâ—… may be layed upon your heads that I may once more blesse you and dye Fare-well my prettie ones farewell the children of my deare affection 2. Cor. 13.11 I must leave you and I hope I shall leave my God with you who will be unto you a father of mercies and 〈◊〉 God of all consolation Once more fare-well 1. Pet. 3 8. 2. Tim. 4.23 Love as brethren and the God of love and peace be with you The Lord Iesus Christ be with your spirits Grace be with you all Amen subject 26 THE TWENTIE-SIXTH SUBjECT Teares of a dying woman wherein is set downe her religious exercises 1 A Soliloquie in which is set forth 1 A desire of life 2 The certaintie of death 2 A godly preparation against the minuit of death 3 A prayer of the sick 4 The consolation of the godly in the hower of death 5 The resignation of the soule into the hands of God exercise 1 â—he Soliloquie wherein is set forth part 1 1. A desire of life THE EjACULATION â—sal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray VVHen Ahazia had fallen downe through a lattesse in his upper chamber 2. King 1.2 that was in Samaria and was sick of 〈◊〉 fall hee sent messengers to enquire of Baal-zebub the God of Ekron whether hee should recover of that dangerous sicknesse Every one desireth a fore-knowledg of events that they might prevent those dangers which otherwise might ensue Herein mee thinks wee endeavour a kind of imitation of our maker labouring unjustly for his attribute of prae-science But if wee desire what hee forbiddeth wee seeke but our destruction in the pursuit of our desires Of some things hee often permitteth us a fore-knowledg and somethings againe hee hideth from us that so both by ouâ— knowledg wee may conjecture at what a blessing wee should have enjoyed had not Adam transgressed and allso that by our ignorance wee may
to destroy 〈◊〉 if I but turne it upside downe so my meats â—nd my drinkes are apt to destroy mee with â—loying with surfeits Without this artificiall brightnesse mine eye cannot fixe it selfe upon any object or distinguish of colours and yet what is this to the light of the Sunne or that â—o the brightnesse of my God Lord what an â—ncouth thing it is to be in darknesse Yet thus â—ny God if hee had so decreed might all-ways ways have punished mee have taken from â—nee the sight of mine eyes Thus yea much worse then thus may hee justly be revenged on mee too and for my deedes of darknesse hee may throw mee into utter darknesse where â—hall be weeping and gnashing of teeth Mat 8.12 1. Sam. 28.8 Surely Saul did not know this power of God or hee did not remember it when hee disguised himselfe and put on other raiment and went hee â—nd two men with him and came to the witch of Endor by night and prayed her to divine unto him by the familiar Spirit and bring up Samuel againe to answer his demaunds O that Spirit is the Devill and that Devill is too familiar and yet how apt am I with Saul rather to consult with him and to follow his suggestions then to apply my selfe to the oracles of my God! This present night for ought that I know may be as sad dismall to mee as that was to the Egyptians when Pharach rose up in the night Ex 12.30 hee and all his servants and all the Egyptians and there was a greate cry in Egypt for there was not a house where there was not one dead But to prevent the feare of such a horrid judgment I will sue for compassion and beg of my God that insteed of destroying mee or any of this house with a sudden destruction hee will this night rather not onely slay my first borne mine originall sinne but allso all the abortive issue of mine actuall transgressions And though the cry be greate because my sinfull selfe am unwilling to leave them or they mee yet I will pray that the destroying Angel may come and destroy them that so my selfe my poore soule may be preserved alive Such a destruction as this would be my best preservation and such a slaughter would purchase my rejoycing These sinnes are mine enemies and those enemies whose ruine and subversion I am bound to pray for I will therfore humbly beseech my powerfull preserver to slay them to cutt them off speedily presently without any longer delay And that my prayers may be more effectuall they shall joyne with my teares in my humblest supplication for a freedome from these eneâ—ies I will imitate David Ps 42.3 and my teares shall be my meate day and night It is but â—ustice that these eyes which have wandered â—…fter enticing objects should be punished with the smart of brinish teares With such weeping eyes will I behould mine offences and on them will I looke as now I doe upon â—his burning Light that so like unto this â—hey may appeare glaring and multiplyed even greater by farre through the clowdines of mine eyes then otherwise I should view â—hem The eye is commonly a teacher of merâ—y for when it is fixed on an object full of disâ—resse it presently invite's the heart to compassion The eye of my God is never shutt never weary of pittying allthough both mine eyes and my compassion allso are seldome open Therfore mine eye shall weepe and when I weepe his eye will pittie My heart shall sigh and his heart will commiserate My whole selfe shall wholly offer up it selfe to him in my devotions and then I am assured hee will embrace mee in his armes and watch over mee by his protection I will weepe for my sinnes I will grieve for the offences of the day that is past and weeping grieving I will addresse my selfe to the keeper of Israel Ps 121.4 who neither slumbereth nor sleepeth thus I will say The Evening prayer OMniscient God who hast seene the offences which this day hath produced and for them mightest justly throw mee into the land of darknesse Vouchsafe I besiecâ— thee to behould the teares of a repenting prodigall The sinnes which I have committed I cannot number nor can I vallew thy mercies in forbearing mee so grievous an offendour The day is gone and the evening has teneth mee to my desired sleepe Lord leâ— it be thy pleasure to bury my sinnes in thâ— darknesse of oblivion and make mee afraid and ashamed to commit them any more by the light of the Sunne Let thy Christ shine iâ— my heart and warme my cold and chillâ—wed devotion that with fervency and zeale I may ever addresse my prayers unto thee O let 〈…〉 settforth before thee as incensâ— and the 〈◊〉 â—f my hands be an evening sacrifice Ps 74.16 The 〈◊〉 ô Lord is thine and the night is likewise thine doe thou take mee this night Ps 91.5 vers 6. into thy holy protection Let mâ— not be afraid for the terroâ— by night nor for thâ— pestilence that walketh iâ—…arknesse O thoâ— that hast made the Moonâ—… and the Starres tâ— governe the night Ps 136 9. shine mercifully into mâ— darke and polluted conscience and reveaâ—… unto mee all the errours of my life that aâ— the gate of thy mercy I may begge for remision The Levites did thanke 1. Chr. 23 30. and praise thee â—s well at evening as in the morning Lord â—hough I am weake though I am unworthy â—et so well as I can so well as thou art pleaâ—ed to enable thee thereto I praise and â—lesse thy glorious name for all thy mercies which thou hast shewed unto mee and in â—articular for thy protection this day which â—s past One Lamb by thine appointment Ex 29.39 â—…as to be offered at evening day by day by thy â—hildren of Israel My soule ô Lord should â—e that Lamb and my selfe an Israelite but â—…y soule is blemished I my selfe am rebelâ—…ous To thee therfore doe I offer not my â—olluted soule as it is full of uncleanesse but â—ather that innocent Lamb of thee my God â—…hich taketh away the sinnes of the world most â—umbly besieching thee to hearken unto him â—…terceding for mee and by his death and â—assion to graunt mee pardon for mine offenâ—es First seale unto my soule the remission â—f my sinnes and then let mee sleepe and â—est in thee Refresh my wearied limbs with â— comfortable repose and graunt that I â—…ay neither offend thee by dreames and fanâ—asies nor displease thee with excessive and â—mmoderate sleepe Preserve mee from the â—angers of fire stormes tempests theeves â—nd whatsoëver else may hurt my person or â—state All is thine doe thoâ—… be the keeper â—nd protectour of all Thou hast promised by thy Prophet that the righteous shall enteâ— into peace Is 57.2 and rest in their beds Gratiouâ— father cover mee with the righteousnesse oâ— Christ thy Sonne and graunt mee
provoked him to wrath But what though in Eden hee was not heard but â—n the coole of the day Gen 18.1 I am sure that hee appeared to Abraham in the heate of the day aâ—â—hee sate in the tent doore in the plaines of Mamâ—re And so hee doeth to mee now too inwardly by his Spirit if I find his grace working in my soule a desire of his glorie I will therfore besiech him now while hee is with mee Ps 42.8 Ps 22.2 to command his loving kindnesse in this day time to visit mee that so I may not justly complaine with David O my God I cry in the day time and thou hearest not but rather that I may heare a Phinehas saying unto mee as once hee did to the children of Reuben Gad and Manasseh This day wee perceave Ios 22.31 that the Lord is among us Alasse poore Iacob how did hee endure the sweate and the burning of this time of the day Gen 31.40 In the day the drought consumed him and the frost in the night and his sleepe departed from him Assuredly in those fourteene yeeres which hee spent in the service of Laban for his two wives and in those sixe yeeres which hee served for the flocks and the cattell hee could not choose but loose a whole river of sweate that dropped from his face Lord how should every droppe of sweate that fall's from my browes put mee in mind of the fall of Adam which produced this punishment Gen 3.19 Yea how should my teares too out-vye my sweate when I consider the number of my fowle transgressions They oh they have so increased within mee that they enforce the sweate to fly to my face and in this heate of the day to tell mee of a punishment in the flames of the damned But there was once a day of deliverance of the Israelites from the Egyptian bondage Ex 13.3 and Moses commanded the people saying Remember this day And what day of my life hath not beene to mee a day of deliverance So many diseases and accidents assayle the body so many discontents the mind so many casualties and chances the estate yea and which is worst of all so many sinnes the soule that if I should attempt but once to number them I could not easily determine where to beginne Lord make mee this day remember thy deliverances in a gratefull manner and magnifie thee for thy mercies There will bee a day too a day of death but when it shall come God onely knoweth This for ought I know may prove the day Ould Ifaak tould his sonne Esau saying Gen 27.2 Behould now I am ould I know not the day of my death Neither indeede doe I know mine What know I to the contrarie but that anone at the table I may entertaine my death in a dish or a cup Lord make mee allways provided for thee and then at all times thou art well-come to mee But how shall I be sure to have my petition graunted and that God will afford mee such mercy as to save mee I reade of a day that was threatned to the Iewes even when the Chaldaeans should become their conquerours This the Lord fore-tould unto them when hee sayd Ioel 2.1 Blow yee the trumpet in Sion and sound an all-arme in my holy mountaine Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble for the day of the Lord cometh for it is nigh at hand A day of darknesse vers 2. and of gloominesse a day of clowdes and of thick darknesse as the morning spread upon the mountaines Their death was to approach by the sword of their enemies and their miseries to increase by the furie of their tormentours My death may be neerer hastening unto mee then was the destruction of the Iewes at the time of the prophesie and in what manner it shall come I cannot assure my selfe God is not confined to time or meanes otherwise then hee hath decreed himselfe This very day may happen to be mine and another day may be appointed for another Yea and my day too may prove a day of horrour for wicked I am and I reade what is spoken by the mouth of Iob Iob 21.30 The wicked is reserved to the day of destruction they shall be brought forth to the day of wrath I poore I am one of the wicked and have deserved the greatest severest judgments from the hand of the revenger O if this day should prove so terrible insteede of pampering my body with delightfull foode I might cry out with the Prophet Cursed be the day wherein I was borne Ior 20.14 let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed But I have a better confidence in the mercies of my Redeemer Yet I cannot hope for mercy from him if I doe not expresse some mercy to my selfe The chiefest act of mercy to my selfe consisteth in a serious afflicting and tormenting of my selfe for my sinnes which would ruine mee With my teares I must therfore wash away my sinnes I must purge them with my teares I must cure the sinnes of mine eyes with the teares of mine eyes And yet since my teares are not free from pollution even those must be purified and made effectuall by the blood of the Lamb. The stomack is commonly prepared for meate by the blood of the grape Therfore before I will goe to my foode I will prepare my selfe with a glasse of wine but that wine shall be high and excellent it shall be the wine of Angells It shall have the savour of life in it it shall have the race of mercy in it the sweetenesse of reconciliation the heate of grace This wine shall be my teares a leane sower eager wine of it selfe but it shall be sugered by the hand of my Redeemer it shall be deepe drawne and well dashed with the blood of the innocent This is such as the Angells delight in This wine shall prove an excellent restorative it shall be even like blood yea it shall be blood it selfe even the blood of my drooping my wounded and my deiected soule This will exceede all the Frontiniak or the Greeke or the Palerma wines for the grapes thereof doe not grow upon the smooth and twisting branches of common vines but they grow like the rose upon a thornie bough and yeeld whole clusters of joy and content This wine hath such an in-bred vertue in it that it giveth courage to the drinker and that good effect I seriously hope it shall worke in mee For I must fight though I am but a woman I must fight and warre and combate with mine enemies with my corruptions Ios 10.13 I trust that hee who made the Sun stand still in the middest of heaven that it hasted not to goe downe about a whole day when the five Kings fought against Gibeon and all this onely at the prayer of Ioshua even hee will assist mee in this holy warre that I may destroy the Kings the greatest the
of forgetfullnesse I should never have knowne the benefit of fullnesse if I had not learned it by an empty bellie I will therfore begge of him a blessing to this crosse that the more I want of out-ward blessings the more eagerly I may sieke for inward content I will resolve Hab. 3.17 with the Prophet that Allthough the figg-tree shall not blossome neither fruit be in the vines though the labour of the Olive shall faile and the fields shall yeeld mee noe meate though the flocks shall be cutt off from the foald vers 18 there shall be noe heard in the stalls Yet I will rejoyce in the Lord I will joy in the God of my salvation Rom. 8 35. Neither tribulation nor distresse nor persecution cutt nor famine nor nakednesse nor sword shall ever seperate mee from the love of Christ I know that hee which can send provisions without content can likewise feede mee when I least expect it Hag. 1.6 Yee have sowed much saith the Prophet and bring in litle yee eate but yee have not enough yee drinke but yee are not filled with drinke yee cloath you but there is none warme and hee that earneth wages earneth wages to putt in a bagge with holes The curse is as greate to eate without satisfaction as to want what wee desire I know that God oftentimes hath sent a famine that so his people might the more depend upon him So hath his goodnesse many times appeared Gen 42 5. when men had least expectation of supplies True it is that when the famine was sore in the land of Canaan the Sonnes of Israel bought corne in Egypt Men have ever vallewed their bellies above their estates In the Egyptian famine Ioseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh the King c 47.20 for the Egyptians sould every man his field because the famine prevailed over them so the land became Pharaoh's When Esau was faint comeing out of the field and Iacob refused him a messe of pottage under the price of his birth-right c 25.32 vers 33 hee said Behold I am at the point to die and what profit shall this birth right doe to mee So hee sould his birth-right unto Iacob The Prophet lamenting the people of Ierusalem Lam 1.11 say's All her people sigh they seeke bread they have given their pleasant things for meate to relieve the soule All these have beene furnished by ordinarie meanes but I allso reade that God hath provided when men could least expect 1. King 17.10 vers 12 or helpe When the widdow of Zarephath had nothing left but a poore handfull of meale in a barrell and a litle oyle in a cruse and went out to gather two sticks that shee might goe in and dresse it for her and her sonne that they might eate it and dye even then shee receaved comfort from the Prophet Elijah vers 16 for her harrell of meale wasted not neither did the cruse of oyle faile as the Lord had spoken by the mouth of the Prophet When the selfesame Prophet by the command of God dwelt by the brooke Cherith that is before Iordan even before the increase of the meale vers 5. and the oyle was miraculously effected in a wonderfull manner hee was fed by the Ravens vers 6. for they brought him bread and flesh in the morning and bread and flesh in the evening and hee dranke of the brooke Againe when the same Elijah fled to Beersheba upon the threats of Iezebel c 19.4 hee went a daye 's journie into the wildernesse and came and sate under a Iuniper tree and hee requested for himselfe that hee might dye and said It is enough now ô Lord take away my life for I am not better then my fathers vers 5. Yet as hee lay and slept under the Iuniper tree behold there an Angel touched him and said unto him Arise vers 6. and eate And when hee looked and behold there was a cake baked on the coales and a cruse of water at his head hee did eate and drinke and layd him downe againe vers 7. And the Angel of the Lord came againe the second time and touched him and said Arise and eate vers 8. And bee arose againe the second time and did eate and went in the strength of the meate fourtie dayes Gen 21 14. When Abraham rose up early in the morning and tooke bread and a botle of water and gave it unto Hagar putting it on her shoulder and the child Ismaël and sent her away and shee departed and wandered in the wildernesse of Beersheba after a while the water was spent in the botle vers 15 and shee poore soule vers 16 cast the child under one of the shrubbs And shee went and sate her downe over against him a good way off as it were a bow shoote for shee said Let mee not see the death of the child And shee sate over against him vers 17 and lift up her voyce and wept Yet even then God heard the voyce of the lad and the Angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven and said unto her What ayleth thee Hagar Feare not for God hath heard the voyce of the lad where hee is Arise vers 18. lift up the lad and hold him in thine hand vers 19 for I will make of him a greate nation And God opened her eyes and shee saw a well of water and shee went and filled the botle with water and gave the lad drinke Thus my God if hee please can doe for mee too for I cry and I weepe with distressed Hagar not for drinke Ps 145 19. but bread Who knoweth but the Lord may heare my cry and may helpe mee The birds that nest in the Cedars of Lebanon the goates on the hills and the conies in the rocks the beastes of the forrests and the roaring Lyons the creeping things in the greate and wide sea and the Leviathan which is made to play in the waters Ps 104 27. These all wayte upon him Iob. 38.41 Ps 145.15 that hee may give them their meate in due season Hee provideth for the Raven his foode when his young ones cry unto God they wander for lack of meate The eyes of all wayte upon him and hee giveth them their meate in due season vers 16 Hee openeth his hand and satisfieth the desire of every living thing Why then should I vexe and torment my selfe in this time of want as if either the Lord were ignorant of my calamitie or else were unable or unwilling to helpe mee I resolve with my selfe that though the conflict bee greate betweene my selfe and my appetite though my stomack cry and my belly complaine though leanenesse possesseth my cheekes and palenesse setteth up it's rest in my countenance though feeblnesse stealeth upon my joynts and faintnesse on my spirits yet will I not leave my confidence in my God I shall not the sooner
purchase my desires by declining his mercy If any thing cometh it is sent by his providence if nothing cometh yet still I have God who is the best of all If it be his pleasure to bring mee to the earth by this consuming want my body indeede shall yeeld the lesse foode to the wormes but my soule shall be filled with un-speakeable comforts Lord what a base lumpe of clay is this which would so tyrannize over my soule as to make it leave it's confidence in thee What art thou that complainest and yawnest and gapest so greedily for satisfaction Thou art but earth at the best and by the earth thou hast beene fed and to the earth thou shalt returne The foode which thou desirest is a thing to be loathed if thou diddest but consider in what manner thou wert furnished The earth produceth grasse for the foode of the beastes they are fatted to furnish the tables of men and when men doe plentifully feede upon them the least part thereof conduceth to their nourishment the most of it goeth out into the draffe and even that which is putrified it returne's to the earth againe to render it fertile Thus wee live by excrements and wee are fed by putrefaction That which wee loath both in the sent and the sight is forgotten when wee feede upon it in our bread Thus I pine then for nothing but dung and filth for want whereof my belly would force mee to repine against my maker Our fowles are fed with the filthie wormes that proceede from our dung hills our fishes are composed of mudde and slime our beastes are nourished by vertue of that which wee loath to remember and from all these is patched up such a body as at the second or third hand is nothing but dung or whatsoever is worse Were it not shame then for mee to suffer this body which being dead in three or foure dayes will be odious to the living to entice my soule to rebell against my maker O I may not I will not This leanenesse doeth but lecture to mee what I am framed of and the soule is comforted in the weakenesse of the prison That better part doeth long to dwell with the father of spirits Each bitt I should eate Heb 12 9. would but delay my time and retard the fruition of a crowne of glory O my God be pleased to send mee thy blessing as well in want as in plenty that so I may decree and resolve with Saint Paul in whatsoëver state I am Phil 4.11 there with to be content Thus I should be and thus I desire to be for hunger with content is better then feasting and feasting without it is worse then famine If God in his wisedome seeth it good for mee that I should be filled I doubt not of his providence in sending what is good I will as I ought sieke the ordinarie meanes for the preservation of life I will industriously labour or earnestly besiech or painfully travaile for that which may nourish mee If it cometh as I desire I will thanke him who sendeth it if it cometh not as I wish howsoëver I will labour to be content with my lott Him will I honour both in plenty and in want and to his disposing will I yeeld up my selfe True it is that hee created meates for the belly 1. Cor 6.13 and the belly for meates but yet hee will destroy both it and them Hee hath sent mee this affliction to physick my soule and to put mee in mind how nicely I have refused in plenty what now I should thankfully receave in my want Those that are full are apt to surfeit and hasten with more disturbance to the gates of the grave then wee who in hunger doe willingly meete and desire our death Yet I am not so unwilling to live as that I would refuse my nourishment though of the meanest sort nor am I so unwilling to dye Prov. 27.7 as by unlawfull meanes to satisfie my appetite The full soule loatheth an hony-comb but to the hungry soule every bitter thing is sweete I dare not imitate the Israelites who murmured and repined against Moses and Aaron Ex 16.3 and said unto them Would to God wee had dyed by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt when wee sate by the flesh-pots and when wee did eate bread to the full for yee have brought us forth into this wildernesse to kill this whole assembly with hunger What would it advantage mee if God in his judgment should send mee my desires Is it not better to partake of his mercy in miserie then of his displeasure in plenty Ps 78.27 vers 28 At the desire of the Israëlites hee rained flesh upon them as dust and feathered fowles like as the sand of the sea And hee let it fall in the middest of the campe round about their habitations vers 29 So they did eate and were filled vers 30 hee gave them their owne desire they were not estranged from their lust Those on whom hee rained downe Manna to eate vers 24 and gave them of the corne of heaven even they were likewise stored with the flocks of the Quailes But their sweete meate had sowre sawce vers 30 vers 31 for while their meate was yet in their mouths the wrath of God came upon them and slew the fattest of them Prov. 10.22 and smote downe the chosen men in Israël It is onely the blessing of the Lord that maketh rich even of him who promised to the Israëlites Ex 23.25 if they would serve him to blesse their bread and their water and to take sicknesse away from the midd'est of them Hee it was who moved Shobi and Machir 2. Sam. 17.27 and Barzillai to bring unto David at Mahanaim and to his people that were hungrie and wearie vers 28 and thirstie in the wildernesse both beds and cupps and earthen vessells and wheate and barley and flowre and parched corne and beanes and lentills and parched pulse And honey vers 29 and butter and sheepe and cheese of kine Luc. 1.53 Hee filleth the hungrie with good things and the rich hee sendeth emptie away Iob. 34.28 The cry of the poore cometh unto him and hee heareth the cry of the afflicted Hungrie and thirstie Ps 107 5. the soules of the Israëlites fainted in them Then they cryed unto the Lord in their trouble vers 6. vers 9. and hee delivered them out of their distresses Hee satisfieth the longing soule and filleth the hungrie soule with goodnesse Thus hee may doe for mee as hee did for them but then I must pray and that in faith I must weepe and that in hope I must remember my sinnes which have deserved this punishment yea greater then here can be inflicted upon mee and I must thank my Creatour who visiteth mee in mercy I must submitt to his pleasure and kisse the rod. Though now as was the Prodigall
and my petitions to God must be likewise upon conditions when I begge of him but temporall blessings His blessings descend not unlesse they be called downe by my religious obedience nor may I pray for the blessings which concerne this life but with this condition If they may stand with his pleasure In his power it is to graunt the suite which so earnestly I make I wish it may be his pleasure to fullfill my desires Barren Sarai was promised a sonne and Isaak was borne Gen. 21 2.3 Lu 1.7 vers 57 Gen. 29 31. c 30.22 vers 23 Though Zacharias and Elizabeth were stricken in yeeres and Elizabeth was barren yet they were blessed with Iohn the Baptist. Though Leah was hated by reason of her barrennesse yet wee reade that the Lord did open her wombe God remembred Rachel and hearkened unto her and opened her wombe and shee conceaved and bare a sonne and sayd God hath taken away my reproach The wife of Manoah the Danite was barren Iud. 13.2 vers 3. vers 14 yet the Angel of the Lord appeared unto her and sayd unto her Behold now thou art barren and bearest not but thou shalt conceave and beare a sonne And the woman bare a sonne called his name Samson and the child grew and the Lord blessed him 1. Sam. 1.10 Barren Hannah was in bitternesse of soule for want of a child when Peninnah her fruitfull rivall provoked her sore to make her fret vers 6. vers 20 because the Lord had shut up her wombe and shee had a sonne whom shee named Samuel Thus may God if hee please looke upon my reproach and send mee a child which I may dedicate to his service I will therfore follow the stepps of Hannah the devout vers 15 I will weepe with her and I will fast with her and with her will I powre out my soule before the Lord. Who knoweth but my teares may prevayle through the merits of my Redeemer and my sobbs and sighes may draw downe a blessing Ps 30.8 On my knees therfore will I goe unto the Lord and gett mee unto my Lord right humbly I will weepe and pray and mourne and pray and sigh and pray and praying I will say The Prayer HEeavenly King father of mercies Ps 72.5 thou who tookest mee out of my mother's wombe but hast denyed unto mee the fruit of mine vouchsafe to looke upon the reproach of thy servant I know that my sinnes doe stoppe the current of thy mercies but it is thine honour that thou art a forgiver of offences Forgive my sinnes the cause of thy curse and heale the barrennesse of thy despised hand-mayd 1. Sam. 1.11 O Lord of hosts if thou wilt indeede looke upon the affliction of thine hand-mayd and remember mee and not forget thine hand-mayd but wilt give unto thine hand-mayd a man-child then I will give him unto thee all the dayes of his life Thou knowest that I am a woman of a sorrowfull spirit and out of the aboundance of my complaint vers 16 and griefe doe I pray unto thee Send mee I beseech thee a Samuël even such a child as I have asked of thee if it may stand with the pleasure of thee my Lord and King that may bring honour unto thee and comfort unto thy petitioner I shall never bee satisfied untill thou hearest my supplications Pro. 30 15. Either graunt my desires or arme mee with patience that in all things I may serve thee with quietnesse Mat 4.28 and content The earth thou hast made to bring forth fruit of her selfe and it is as easie for thee to blesse mee with increase But if thou hast otherwise determined in thy secret will howsoever graunt that I may never conceave wickednesse in my heart Act 5.4 to whom thou denyest the conception of a child Iam. 1.15 Let not lust conceave in mee lest it bring forth sinne and sinne when it is finished bring forth death Say unto my heart as effectually as once thou didst unto the fig-tree Mat 21 19. Gal 5.22 vers 23 Heb. 12 11. let noe such fruit grow on thee hence forth for ever but let mee allways produce the fruits of the spirit against which thine Apostle assureth mee that there is noe law Let this thy chastening yeeld unto mee the peaceable fruit of righteousnesse since I am exercised therein so shall I willingly submit to thy pleasure and beseech thee to graunt mee comfort and joy in that blessed sonne of a happie woman even Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen THE TWELFTH SUBjECT Teares of a child-bearing woman 1 At the time when she beginneth to fall in travell 2 After her deliverie I st Her teares when she beginneth to fall in travell The Soliloquie consisting of three parts viz 1 The cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing 2 The greatenesse of the pangs hazards and feares of a travelling woman 3 Consolation and comfort for a woman in the bitternesse of her travell The first part of the Soliloquie treating of the cause of the sorrow and the confidence of the sorrowing THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my King and my God for unto the will I pray VVHen David confessed his actuall crimes hee forgot not the guilt of originall corruption therfore he professed saying Behold I was shapen in iniquitie vers 5. and in sinne did my mother conceave mee By the corruption of nature even Saint Paul himselfe was not without sinne that dwelled in him That which is borne of the flesh is flesh Rom 7 17. Io. 3.6 as my Saviour himselfe did tell Nicoden us and this flesh concludeth us all to be carnall Rom 7 14. and sold under sinne This originall stayne is the ground of all our actuall impieties justly therfore is the birth of a child accompanied with the torments and sorrowes of the mother left women should forget the tast of the apple I will greatly multiply thy sorrow Gen 3.16 and thy conception sayd the Lord unto Eve in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children O this heavie chastisement doth now approach to make mee sensible of my sinfull beginning As I caused the teares to flow from the eyes of my groaning mother so now even in mine eyes doe they likewise arise through the pangs which doe seize on mee by reason of my babe Lord what a trembling possesseth every joynt of mee and when I hope for ease by changing my seate or lying on my Couch or attempting to walke even in every place doeth the sharpnesse of the paine increase its strength and though I multiply my cryes yet mine anguish ceaseth not O what miserable perplexities are wee weake and sinfull women involved in Wee who can worst endure are most afflicted and allthough our tempers and constitutions conclude us weaker by farre then our husbands
yet our sorrowes doe greatly exceede their sufferances Certainly wee suffer more because wee were first in the first offence and for our forwardnesse both to consult with the Serpent and to tempt the man our portion is the greater in pangs and throwes Wee are driven to such extreamities that either wee must be tormented in our issue or else reproached for our barrennesse Surely had Eve but beene sensible of the least smart of a travelling woman shee would have continued in integritie for feare of the punishment Gen 2.17 Our first parents were threatned but with dying the death in the day they did eate of the tree of knowledg but I mee thinks doe find that that curse is increased for death will not come without the societie of paines There is something of that punishment in the paines which prepare us for the entertainment of death something in the very instant of the soul's departure and yet unlesse our mercifull Redeemer take pitty upon us the greatest of all will be in a second death Of the first paines I am now made most accurately sensible in the second I must agree with the children of Eve but from the last I have an assured hope that my God will deliver mee Oh my paines my paines grow stronger and stronger What shall I doe Strengthen mee ô Iesus and enable mee to suffer with constancy and patience what I must endure for a child Elizabeth was not come to the hower of torment when Lu 1.24 vers 25 hiding her selfe for five moneths together shee rejoyced and sayd Thus hath the Lord dealt with mee in the dayes wherein hee looked on mee to take away my reproach among men Yet are these pangs more desireable then the reproach of barrennesse not for themselves but for their happie event Barrennesse produceth shame and discontent but fruitfullnesse produceth sorrow with comfort The barren desire what they partake not of the fruitfull may have content in that which causeth their torments By us the kingdome of heaven is increased by them the world seemeth ready to expire But whence doth this fruitfullnesse accrow unto us If it were onely and meerely from our selves then I suppose that none would be barren If it be a blessing sent from God I wonder at the wicked for the Psalmist saith They are full of children Ps 17.14 and leave the rest of their substance for their babes But I neede not wonder if I either consider the fore-goeing words where the Prophet saith They have their portion in this life or if I remember that it is in the power of God even from them to produce some vessells of honour Israël was threatned by Moses saying Deut 28.15 It shall come to passe if thou wilt not hearken unto the voyce of the Lord thy God that Cursed shall be the fruit of thy body vers 18 O how full of horrour assuredly was this to the women of Israël that those children should be sentenced to eternall weeping for whom their mothers had cryed in the anguish of their births Such ô such there are and allways shall bee even to the end of the world as shall draw teares from the eyes of the weaker parent both in the extreamitie of the throwes and in the feare of their destruction Surely such wieked children as those if any shall have cause to expostulate as did the patient Iob Iob. 3.11 vers 12 and cry Why dyed I not from the wombe Why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the beliy Why did the knees prevent mee or why the beeasts that I should suck c 10.18 Wherefore hast thou brought mee forth out of the wombe Oh that I had given up the ghost and noe eye had seene mee Or they may say as once did the Prophet Ieremiah Cursed be the day wherein I was borne Ier. 20.14 vers 15 let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed Cursed be the man who brought tidings to my father saying A man-child is borne unto thee making him very glad vers 16 And let that man be as the citties which the Lord overthrew and repented not and let him heare the cry in the morning and the showting at noone-tide vers 17 because hee slew mee not from the wombe or that my mother might have beene my grave and her wombe to be allways greate with mee vers 18 Wherfore came I forth out of the wombe to see labour and sorrow that my dayes should be consumed with shame But I will hope better things of mine and beseech my God that it may be like unto Paul who speaketh of himselfe saying Gal 1.15 vers 16 God did seperate mee from my mother's wombe and called mee by his grace to reveale his sonne in mee c. Oh my paines grow sharper and sharper and are strong remembrancers of the pollution even of conception But there is a conception as well Spirituall as Carnall I must therfore examine Whether the wombe of my heart hath not conceaved sinne Iob. 15 35. Is 33.11 for these pangs arise not without foregoeing wickednesse The hypocrites sayth Iob doe conceave mischiefe The enemies of the church sayth the Prophet Isaiah shall conceave chaffe If therfore with the hypocrites c. 59.4 I have conceaved mischiefe I feare that with them too I have brought forth-vanity and my belly hath prepared deceit If with the sinfull Iewes I have not called for justice nor pleaded for trueth if I have trusted in vanity and have spoken lyes then I feare that with them too I have conceaved mischife and brought forth iniquity If with the enemies of the church I have conceaved chaffe then I feare that with them too I have brought forth stubble and I may justly suspect that my breath as fire shall devoure it Ps 7.14 If which the ungodly I have travelled with iniquity and have conceaved mischiefe then I feare that with them too I have brought forth falsehood Thus if I have joyned with the hypocrites if with the enemies of the church if with the sinfull Iewes if with the ungodly or if I have trusted in vanity what then can I looke for but that having conceaved all kind of abominations I should with the wicked man travell with paine all my dayes Iob. 15.20 Thus I must confesse I have beene forward in the conception of all manner of evill and the production hath beene even as quick as the thought Ex 1.19 I may say of my selfe as the Mid-wives sayd once to angry King Pharaoh concerning the Hebrew women I have beene lively and have beene delivered of my grievous crimes ere any midwife came in unto mee I have beene both father and mother and mid-wife and nurse and every thing else to bring the abortive bratts of impietie into the world What now can I expect therfore but that I should dye in anguish and that my child which I goe with should be at once both mine
my whole life but to be freed from these calamities which beginne to fall on mee Ps 55.4 My heart is sore pained within mee and the terrours of death are fallen upon mee Fearefullnesse and trembling are come upon mee vers 5. and horrour hath allmost over whelmed mee I cannot forget how the wife of Phinehas the sonne of Eli being neere to be delivered 1. Sam 4. 19. when shee heard the sad tidings that the Arke of God was taken and that her husband and her father in law were dead shee bowed herselfe and travelled for her paines came upon her shee travelled was delivered and dyed I cannot forget how Rachel journeying from Bethel Gen 35 16. when there was but a litle way to come to Ephrath travelled and had hard labour And though when shee had hard labour the Mid wife sayd unto her vers 17 Feare not thou shalt have this sonne allso vers 18 and shee had her sonne and called him Ben-oni the soone of her sorrow but his father called him Benjamin the sonne of his right hand yet shee dyed The remembrance of these that dyed in child-birth increaseth my feares and addeth to mine affliction I am so dismayed betweene the pangs which I suffer and the suspition of death which possesseth my soule that I am I know not how divided and forlorne One while I resolve to submit to my God another while I suspect that I shall not possiblie endure the severity of my tortures My teares are many my pangs increase and double and treble themselves upon mee One O is not enough to cry but as if my short life were onely to be inployed in accents of sorrow I leng then my exclamations and I cry oooooo c as if my paine waxe the lesser when I make my complaints either lowder or longer Sometimes my pangs are so thick and so violent that I have not time to feare and sometimes againe my feare is so greate that I have not leasure to mind the pangs I endure The body suffers and the mind labour's and all is in a kind of distruction and confusion Sometimes I feare that I am yeelding up the ghost and then a pull a tugge a throw command's â—nee to forget my feare and sett my selfe to endure Sometimes I feare least my child should not come right or not be rightly shaped or not be perfectly limbed and then a throw againe maketh mee lay aside my feares In the depth of my sufferances I am all most bereft of my senses with the violence of the paine and at times of intermission I am halfe distracted with these doubts and feares Act 3.2 Sometimes I thinke of the man that was lame from his mother's wombe and was faint to be caried whom they layd dayly at the gate of the temple which was called Beautifull to aske almes of them that entered into the temple and then I am jealous that either my child may be a creeple or else a beggar At other times I thinke of the man at Lystra c 14.8 impotent in his feete who was likewise a creeple from his mother's wombe and never had walked and presently I feare that mine may be so too Againe sometimes my anxious thoughts fixe upon the man who was blind from his birth Io 9.1 Mat 12 22. Mar 7.32 sometimes on him who was blind and dumb sometimes on him who was deafe and had an impediment in his speech and then I suspect that mine infant may be so too But why ô why doe I harbour such thoughts or utter such cryes of distrust Why doe I embrace such suspitions and feares of the death of my selfe or of impotency of my child If I despaire of ease I forget my comforter If I submit not to his pleasure I deny him to be my God If I repine at my sufferances I adde unto the cause and so I multiply mine iniquities I cannot deny that my God is omniscient I may not deny that my God is omnipotent I would not deny that my God is compassionate Since then I doe know that hee knoweth my miseries and that hee hath power to release mee whensoëver hee pleaseth it is my duety to hope in his mercy and tender compassion If I feare my death I condemne my life and publish to the world my neglect of preparation If I have not layed up in store against the hower of my departure especially seeing I doe know that many have dyed in the extreamitie of their throwes it will plainly appeare that I either cared not for heaven or dreaded not hell If I fear too much that my child may fayle in a due proportion or too vainely distrust that it may come imperfect I dishonour my God who shaped it in my wombe It is not of mine owne fashioning Ps 139.14 it wa fearefully and wonderfully made by my maker I must therfore content my selfe with what hee hath allotted mee If the shape be perfect the greater must be my thankes if it prove imperfect the greater must be my patience in all I must be sure to give glory unto God My service to him hath beene weake imperfect hee may justly therfore shape my child according to my service If so hee should doe I cannot resist it I must not repine at it I will resolve therfore by the assistance of his grace that allthough my cryes may be lowd yet they shall not be sinfull they may expresse my sufferance but not any impatience I will feare to dye when I thinke onely of my desert but I will desire to dye when I faithfully rely upon the merits of my Redeemer and desire that this mortall may put on immortality 1. Cor. 15.54 I know that some children have beene borne imperfect but what I my selfe doe not fashion I will never repine at Had I made it my selfe it would have beene monstrously deformed for my very best and most accurate actions are full of imperfections If therfore it shall have too much or too litle yet it will be too much for mee to sinne by murmuring Lord arme mee with patience to suffer what thou pleasest with faith and hope to goe when thou callest and with joy and thanks to receave what thou givest part 3 The third part of the Soliloquie administring Consolation and comfort to a woman in the bitternesse of her travell THe blessed Apostle comforting the Corinthians speaketh to the soules of all the elect 1. Cor. 10.13 when hee saith There hath noe temptation taken you but such as is common to man but God is faithfull who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able but will with the temptation allsu make a way to escape that yee may be able to beare it O gracious promise O heavenly mercy Bee just ô my God in the performance bee speedie in my deliverance I faint I dye How long Lord how long shall I cry These afflictions seeme to exceede the power of a mortall woman
to whom shall I goe To what physitian or Chyrurgion shall I repaire Lev. 13.2 I reade that if any man of the house of Israël had in the skinne of his flesh a rising or a swelling or a bright spott and if it were in the skinne of the flesh like the plague of Leprosie then hee was to be brought to Aaron the Priest or unto one of his sonnes the Priests vers 3. and the Priest was to looke on the plague in the skinne of the flesh and then to proceede according to order Thus under the Law the Priests were the Physitians both for the body and the soule where upon the Prophet Ieremiah complained and accounted it as a greate judgment upon the people for their sinnes that From the Prophet even to the Priest every one dealt falsely Ier. 6.13 vers 14 they healed allso the hurt of the people sleightly Hence allso another Prophet reproved them Eze. 34.4 because The diseased they had not strengthened neither had they healed that which was sick neither had they bound up that which was broken Under the Gospel allso the Apostles were likewise Physitians for both Mat. 10.1 for when Christ had called unto him his twelve Disciples hee not onely gave them power against un-cleane Spirits to cast them out but allso to heale all manner of sicknesses and all manner of diseases Doubtlesse by this I am likewise taught into whatsoëver sicknesse I fall Psa 110.4 Mal. 4.2 Make use of the prayer which followeth the next Meditation whatsoëver disease I am visited with first of all to goe to the Priest to the Minister of God first to examine my soule before I looke for the cure of my body To the Priest will I therfore goe to the chiefe Priest to the high Priest to the chiefest and highest that ever was even to him who is a Priest for ever after the order of Melchizedek and humbly will I besiech him to teach mee to feare his name and then I know that hee who is the Sunne of righteousnesse will arise with healing in his wings and will make mee goe forth and grow up as calves of the stall 2. Teares of the visited being marked with the Tokens The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray THere is a time to kill saith Solomon and a time to heale Eccl. 3.3 O that time to kill is now come upon mee but I know not how so much as to hope for the time of healing for here I find the tokens of death the markes of my mortalitie This flesh this sinfull flesh of mine which hath beene so washed so unguented so smoothed and coloured according to the choycest witt of art and industrie hath now the staines in it of a contagious sicknesse Where are now those admirers of comelinesse those idolatrous doaters upon the beawtie of women Let them come and learne the vanitie of their opinions chide their simplicitie by these tokens of vengeance O what a fraile thing is woman easily deluded into a beliefe of her beawty and as easily stricken with her owne deformitie But what doe these spotts meane to die my flesh and strike such a deepe tinture in a smoothed sknne Are diseases blind that thus they fasten every where without either choyce or exception Vaine woman as I am why doe I spend these minuits these few and winged minuits alotted unto mee in such impertinent quaeres These blewish staines tell mee that I must provide to answer for my sinnes yea shortly speedily before him who dispatched them hither unto mee Death approacheth mortalitie knocketh at my burdened heart Lord how heavie is my soule Even as if it were allready at the greate tribunall and pleaded guiltie of millions of enormities They have corrupted themselves saith Moses by the Israëlites Deut 32.5 their spot is not the spot of God's children they are a perverse and crooked generation Is there a spot then which even the children of God may be subject unto Why then may not these be some of those spotts and my selfe be one of those children of God Lord how willingly how greedily doeth every one strive to dye the death of the righteous How easilie are wee apt through ignorance to dwell in the letter of the text when wee should rather prie into a farther intent of the blessed Spirit That spot of the children of God is not seated in the body but in the soule and that spot in the soules of the Israelites was chiefely Idolatrie True it is that even the righteous have their stainei too vers 15 16.17 but not such bloaches not such greate and fowle spots or howsoever not of such a deepe tincture not dyed so in graine as are those of the wicked for they are washed out with the teares of sorrow through the blood of the Lamb. O that my spotts were onely in my skinne and not in my soule and that I could truely justifie my selfe in the language of Iob. Iob. 31.6 vers 7. Let mee be weighed in an even ballance that God may know mine integritie If any blott hath cleaved to my hands But alas I cannot I dare not Yet if I could but come to a sight of my sinnes and be truely humbled for them then am I sure that hee who taught Iacob how to increase his flock of the speckled and the spotted Gen. 30.39 Is 1.18 would easily make mee white as wooll But how or upon what grounds can I expect his mercy feeing all that I can suffer is not punishment enough for all that I have trespassed Heb. 9.22 Without shedding of blood is noe remission sayth the blessed Apostle What comfort then can I expect or what mercy can I hope for seeing that my blood my life is not of vallew enough to suffer what my sinnes have merited much lesse to purchase remission of my sinnes What now shall I doe What hope can I have that my body should be freed from these spots of my disease when I know not how to be freed from the pollutions of my soule By the Mosaicall law If any one of the common people sinned against any of the commandements of God concerning things which ought not to be done Lev 4.27 vers 32 A Lamb without blemish was to be his offering and so the atonement was made for the sinne vers 35 and it was forgiven Here yet was some ease for a distressed soule the sinne was forgiven through the blood of the Lamb. But what hope have I of remission That Law doeth noe longer stand in force nor will the blood of a common Lamb be accepted for the least the smallest offence Yet Cheere up O my drooping soule Let my fainting spirits and my sorrowfull heart take comfort in the middest of my deepe distresse for there is
must some-times rest What though I am an exul a stranger a sojourner here as all my fathers were I must have a lodging I must have a chamber I must have a roome and in that roome and in that chamber I may I must have some rest Yea and I must have some delight in it too and that not onâ—e alone but continually for so I am commanded by the Apostle Phil 4.4 who saith Rejoyce in the Lord allways and againe I say rejoyce Diverse indeede for diverse causes have wept but they have not allways wept Gen 27.38 Esau lifted up his voyce and wept but it was for the losse of his father's blessing The Elders of Ephesus wept Act 20 38. 2. Chr 35 25. yea they all wept sore but it was sorrowing most of all for the words that Paul had spoken unto them that they should see his face noe more A mourning I reade of that was in Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddo when Ieremiah lamented and all the singing men and the singing women spake of their King in their lamentations and made them an ordinance in Israel That was for Iosiah who was slaine by the armie of Pharaoh Necho in the valley of Megiddo In Ramah was a voyce heard Ier 31.15 lamentation and bitter weeping Rachel weeping for her children because they were not This mee thinks come's home close neere to mee This was for the captivitie of Iudah and Benjamin or it was for the infants slaine by that bloody that presecuting Herod Here are children lamented so farre the cause of the weeping complyeth with mine But neither is my child slaine by a murderer nor yet is hee lead into captivity Noe Eph 4.8 hee who did leade captivitie captive hath freed my sonne from the fetters Rom 8 21. from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of â—he sonnes of God My child was not slaine as were all the children that were in Bethlehem and in all the coasts thereof Mat 2.16 from two yeares ould and under Noe Hee who was slaine for him hath saved him Hee who hath swallowed up death in victory Is 25.8 Hos 13 14. hath ransomed him from the power of the grave and redeemed him from death Lord though I am a weake though a sinfull woman make mee for ever to praise thee for this thy goodnesse Ps 107 8. and to declare the wonders that thou hast done both for mee and mine When the woman of Samaria came to draw water at Iacob's well my bountifull Iesus freely gave her to drike of the living water Io 4.14 which became in her a well of water springing up into ever-lasting life I am such a woman as shee was mine eyes have resembled the mouth of Iacob's well and though the well be deepe even deepe as my heart yet some-thing I have had to draw the water with My child mine infant hath drawne and drawne untill I am even allmost drawne drie And in this agonie and in this distresse my Christ hath come to cleanse my well to sanctifie my teares and to ease mee of my griefe 1. King 3.26 My bowells indeede did yearne upon my child as that woman 's did whose issue should have beene divided for the satisfaction of the harlot My child is divided though hers were spared The better part of him the soule is gone it is gone to God for his it is it is his owne share nothing but the earth of him remaineth with mee But I will I must be thankfull and though I find a reluctance in my chillowed heart yet the Prophet forbiddeth weeping for the dead Ier 22.10 and bemoaning of them Let mee begge for patience for submission for content and say The Prayer BLessed Lord God Ps 68.20 unto whom belong the issues from death vouchsafe to heare the cry of thy mourning hand-mayd Thou wert pleased once to blesse mee with increase and to make mee a joyfull mother of my now dead infant But oh that that very child which was framed and fashioned by thee is now come unto thee The first that sinned was a woman tempted by the Serpent Gen. 3.13 and that Serpent in his temptation stung so deepe that it hath reached now even to the fruit of my wombe for the sinnes of my selfe Yet Lord looke downe in mercy upon mee though a sinfull woman though the most unworthy of my sexe Mat. 15.28 even farre inferiour to that woman of Canaan for herfaith was greate but I alas have noe faith at all or but a weake one or but a dead one otherwise the promises of my Redeemer would controul my passion and the assurance of his mercies would dry up my teares Thou ô Lord hast freed mine infant from the burden of the flesh yet I goe heavily for it as if it were lost in my despaire Thou hast crowned it with immortalitie and yet my passion declareth that I mourne as if it were lost Ps 38.9 O Lord God thou knowest all my desires and my groaning is not hid from thee Thou seest how my teares doe flow through mine infirmitie thou hearest my sighs which arise from my dis-content I confesse it I am sorrowfull for it I am ashamed of it Act. 7.60 Lord lay not this sinne to my charge Thou hast taken nothing but thine owne O be pleased so to make mee thine owne by grace and then shall I be assured in thine owne due time to be receaved into glory Allay the heate of my passion by the pleasant gales of thy refreshing Spirit Graunt that my teares may be kept for my sinnes my sad laments for my deplorable condition through my many offences My heart is heavy for the losse of my child ô Lord lighten it ô Lord ease and comfort it with thy heavenly grace Ps 94.19 In the multitude of sorrowes which I have in my heart let thy comforts ô Lord refresh my soule My child thou knowest was deare unto mee because it was thy pleasure to lend him unto mee Hee was and hee is deere unto thee and thou hast expressed thy love in delivering him fron the evill 1. Thes 1.10 2. Tim 2.11 from the wrath to come Hee is deal in Christ Lord let mee be dead with Christ that I may allso live with Christ My child is dead because hee was sinfull but his uttermost farthing was discharged by Christ O thou who art rich in mercy Eph 2.4 for the greate love wherewith thou hast loved man-kind graunt that I may not dye in sinne but to it that so I may be quickened together with thy Sonne Make mee to yeeld my selfe unto thee Rom 6 13. as those that are alive from the dead and my members as instruments of righteousnesse unto thee my God Forgive my excesse of love to him that is gone my excesse of teares and sighs that have beene caused by his departure my want of patience and submission to thy holy pleasure and
my raging out-cryes which have given an evill example of impatience unto others a scandall to â—…y religion It was thy pleasure to free mine â—nfant from the tyrannie of sinne it was thy â—ove it was thy mercy to take him that so hee â—ight sinne noe more Lord unto thy will 〈◊〉 submit my will and for thy love for thy mercy for thy goodnesse I praise thee I blesse â—hee I magnifie thee my Lord and my God Vipe I besiech thee from mine eyes all eares of discontent remove from mine heart he excesse of sorrow and make mee walke in â—…y vocation with cheerefullnesse and in my â—eligion with setlednesse resolution The â—ortalitie of my child hath taught mee the â—…ailty even of my selfe graunt therfore blesâ—ed God that the longer I live the better I may â—…ow both in grace and goodnesse that so when his painfull life shall have an end I may â—eete thee my God with comfort thee my Iesus with joy and rejoycing and my deceased child together with the rest of the quire of Saints with heavenly Halelujahs and sing praise Reu. 5.13 and honour and glory unto thee who sittest upon the throne and to the Lamb for ever mere Amen subject 18 THE EIGHTEENTH SUBjECT Teares of a wife for the sicknesse of her husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lordâ— consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray LOrd how various is the condition of mortalls Sometimes wee are sick and sometimes wee are well Sometimes in sicknesse wee draw neere to the grave and sometimes againe wee are in hope of recoverie T is thus ô 't is thus with my dearest husband Hee who was my comfort and joy in his health is now my griefâ— and sorrow in his sicknesse The extreamitie oâ— his anguish enforceth my teares and those conflicts of his betweene life and death doe pierce mee even to the soule I am mee thinks so divided in my teares that I cannot well determine whether the greatest number of them â—re shed for the torments which hee suffereth â—r for the losse of mine owne content or for the â—aines which love and loyaltie enforce mee to â—ake or for feare of his departure All of them â—ow from the springs of love and are readie â—o convert mee into a gliding streamâ—… When Eve was arraigned for enticing her 〈…〉 â—o the act of disobedience Gen 3.16 it was part of her â—unishment that her desire should be subject â—nto her husband and hee should rule over her Mee think's I could be well contented to under goe this servitude so that my husband might not under-goe this sicknesse Alas his â—isease is growne so violent that it even darkeâ—eth his reason and maketh him desire hee knoweth not what I would gladly obey him â—n whatsoëver hee commandeth but that I must not yeeld unto all his desires in this time of his weakenesse I must now obey the Physitian 's order and follow those directions which hee prescribeth O the miserie of sicknesse which so enfeebleth the braine that it un-man's a husband and pretendeth to free the wife from the yoke of obedience Now my desires must not be subject to my deerest husband if hee requireth that which may hinder his recovery yet howsoever my desires shall be for him when they may not be to him for I will begge of the Lord to ease him of his miserie and to restore him to health O mee think's I am not as I should be because I want the comfort and direction of my head Hee poore man iâ— growne as feeble by sicknesse as I am by sexe and allthough the torment be his yet the sorrow is mine When I remember the unâ—kindnesse of the Amalekite to his sick servant I cannot choose but wonder at the greatnesse of the inhumanitie 1. Sam. 30.13 The master left his sick Egyptian when the enemie pursued as if it hâ—d beene a high offence to want his health Io sicknesse wee have a certaine tryall of a friend Hee that onely affecteth us in health leaveth us in weakenesse is but a pretender to friendship and truely loveth us not O who would leave a languishing man that knoweth not how to helpe himselfe Mee think's I rejoyce though in my greatest perplexitie that God-hath given mee both power and abilitie to comfort my deerest I howerly visit him though not without teares and when I most endeavour to be a comforter unto him even then alas I am enforced to weepe Thus his very potiens are mixed with the drops that distill from mine eyes and at every turne I am so sensible of his miserie that I doe in a manner embalme him alive with mine aboundant teares allthough I yet have hope of his recoverie 2. King 8.7 When Benhadad the King of Assyria was sick hee sent Hazaël to meete Elisha the man of God and enquire of the Lord by him saying Shall I recover of this disease vers 8. Mee think's I could gladly performe that office of Hazaël but where shall I meete with-such a Prophet as Elisha Alas it is not in the power of man to limit our times it is God alone who numbereth our dayes I must therfore leave my curiositie and submit to his pleasure And yet in my submission I cannot leave weeping for even nature alloweth mee a freedome to mourne David grieved when his very enemies were sick for so hee saith As for mee Ps 35.13 when they were sick my cloathing was sackcloth I humbled my soule with fasting How much rather may I be allowed to grieve for my friend for my husband Who knoweth but that my sinne may be the cause of his miserie By my teares of sorrow I will therfore strive to remove the cause It is in the power of my Redeemer both to forgive mee and to recover him But alas so long as hee is sick I cannot be well So long as the head is troubled the body must needs be disturbed Hee is my head and I am his glory 1. Cor. 11.3 vers 7. Alas what comfort can I receave when my head is sick What glory can hee take in the wife of his bosome when the violence of his paine depriveth him of my society But why doe I utter these words of discontent as if it were in the power of man to recover my beloved It is god alone that sendeth sicknesse and that sendeth health on him therfore alone will I depend and in him alone will I hope Saint Paul relateth that Epaphroditus was sick Phil. 2.27 nigh unto death but God saith hee had mercy on him and not on him onely but on mee allso lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow My deare husband is sick as was Epaphroditus yea and for ought that I know hee may be sick unto death too but I will trust in the Lord that hee will have mercy upon him and restore
bee none to deliver us O thou who didst suffer thy selfe to be wounded for our transgressions be pleased to cure the wounds and maladies both of the soule and body of thy distressed servant Thou knowest Lord that the feeble soule cannot praise thee with cheerefullnesse nor serve thee with alacritie The sicknesse of the body disturbeth the soule and maketh it un-apt to serve thee with readinesse O say of his disease that It is enough and remove from him speedily this heavy visitation Thine hand ô Lord is layed upon him and the stroake is so heavy that it woundeth us both Mercifull God let the sinnes of both of us be blotted out of thy remembrance like a clowde Is 44.22 and be appeased with us through the merits of thy Sonne Mar 2.17 The whole have noe neede of thee the physitian but wee that are sick O be thou the Physitian to cure our soules and then in thy good time restore thy diseased servant to his former health But if thou hast sent him this sicknesse as a messenger of death ô give him patience to beare and willingnesse to suffer whatsoever thou sendest Ranke him not in the number of those rich and wicked Eccl. 5.17 who have much sorrow and wrath in their sicknesse but ease his sorrow and appease thy wrath Make him willing to submit to thy will and pleasure that so whether hee liveth Rom. 14.8 hee may live unto thee or whether hee dyeth hee may dye unto thee yea whether hee liveth or dyeth that hee may be thine Luc. 18 13. Lord be likewise mercifull to mee a sinner Thou knowest how deepely this affliction woundeth mee To him thou gavest mee whom now thou visitest that so hee might be both my head and my directour and thou knowest my weakenesse and my frailties that I cannot understand I cannot walke in thy wayes without a counseller I cannot apprehend what I reade Act. 8.31 except some man should guide mee O be thou pleased therfore to spare his life whom I am commanded to learne of at home 1. Cor. 14.35 for if thou callest him to the joy of thine heavenly Kingdome let it be thy goodnesse to moderate my sorrow upon earth If thou takest him from my societie let mee not be left alone but send mee the comforter even thy holy Spirit to be my Protectour and my guide unto death Ps 48.14 Release him of his torments whom thou visitest with this sicknesse and ease thou my sorrowes which arise from his paines Give the comforts of thy Spirit both to him and mee that when this painfull life shall have an end wee may be found of thee in peace 2. Pet. 3.14 Is 9.6 through the merits and mercies of the Prince of peace even Iesus Christ my Lord and onely Saviour Amen THE NINETEENTH SUBJECT Teares of a woman lamenting the death of her beloved husband The Soliloquie THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words o Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voice of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray WHen Mary came where Iesus was Io. 11.32 and saw him shee fell downe at his feete saying unto him Lord if thou hadst beene here my brother had not dyed Shee wept indeede yet it was but for a brother and the Iewes allso wept vers 33. yet it was but for a common friend but what was all that to the death of a husband O my husband my husband That very name of husband mee think's would flatter mee with comfort as if I might imagine that hee could heare mee But oh hee is dead hee is dead hee cannot heare mee hee cannot behould mee hee cannot answer mee his eares are locked up his eyes are closed his mouth is sealed his soule is gone O what shall I doe for my head my guide my heart my husband Were my Saviour upon earth againe I could send one to him as Mary did vers 3. who should say Lord behould hee whom thou lovest is dead Dead say I O dead dead hee is gone hee is departed and can never be re-called But why Why can hee not be called back againe Did not my Iesus cause Lazarus to arise when hee had beene fower dayes dead vers 44 vers 39 Yes hee did but what then I neither love my Saviour so well as Mary did nor I feare doeth hee love mee so well as hee did Mary or if both were so yet since miracles are ceased I cannot so much as hope that hee will call back the spirit of my Lord my husband Oh could hee be wooed by the teares of a sinfull woman never did any mourne so much as I would But nothing will perswade I seeke but the disturbance of him whom I mourne for if I desire to call him from his eternall rest Yet I hope that it is noe sinne to grieve that hee is gone I lament not his happinesse but mine owne losse vers 35 My Iesus himselfe did weepe for Lazarus in testimonie of his affection for so sayd the Iewes vers 36 Behould how hee loved him And was my love to my husband so litle or so cold that I should forget to testifie it in a sorrowfull teare O I cannot forbeare the remembrance of him Is 1.2 Lam 1.12 who was deerer unto mee then life it selfe Heare ô heavens and give eare ô earth Was it nothing to you all yee that were by him when yee saw him breathing out his soule and forsaking the world O behould and see if there be any sorrow like unto my sorrow which is done unto mee wherewith the Lord hath afflicted mee in this day of his anger Tell mee not how Iacob lamented the supposed death of his sonne Ioseph Hee was misse-taken in the cause but I see and feele the chillowed clay of mine indulgent husband Iacob mourned onely for a sonne but I for an husband Iacob had more many more I had but one 2. Sam 1.26 and the love of this one to mee did passe the love of women Yet though Ioseph was alive and though hee was the youngest save one of twelve sonnes Gent 37.34 Iacob his father rent his cloathes and put sackcloth upon his loynes and mourned for him many dayes c 23.2 Tell mee not how Abraham bewayled the death of Sarah his wife who dyed in Kiriath arba in the land of Canaan Hee was a man so neither his passion nor his losse could paralell mine Hee had more-wives but I had not more husbands And yet though Abraham lost but onely a wife I reade that hee came to mourne and to weepe for her Tell mee not of Abijah the sonne of a King how hee dyed and was lamented Could a Prince be as neere and deare to the people as a loving husband to the wife of his bofome Yet though neither mariage nor blood could pleade for a teare I find that all Israël mourned for him
seldome is love forgotten in the mother of children Cant. 3 6. in whom it is commonly as strong as death vers 7. for many waters cannot quench it neither can the floods drowne it Much therfore I cannot blame the wife of Zebedeus for the fervency of her affection to her beloved Sonnes All that shee erred in was both in the thing shee requested and in the person to whom shee tendered her petition Surely without offence I may likewise besiech my mercifull Saviour that hee will be pleased to undertake the protection of my young ones It is a petition more proper for mee then her's was for her for shee was living and might have beene a comfort unto them but I am dying I am leaving the world I lye drawingon and wayting for that blessed hower of my Saviours comeing All that is left mee now to doe is onely to blesse them before my departure and this is the best legacie that I can bequeath unto them I must I will blesse them by the leave and favour of my God yet not as from my selfe but onely from God not as thinking that my power can purchase their happinesse but praying to him that his blessing may prosper them Thus by faith did dying Iacob blesse both the Sonnes of Ioseph Heb. 11 21. and worshipped leaning upon the top of his staffe Thus old Isaak said unto Esau his Sonne Gen. 27 2. vers 3. Behold now I am old I know not the day of my death now therfore take I pray thee thy we opons thy quiver and thy bowe and goe out to the field and take mee some venison vers 4. and make mee savourie meate such as I love and bring it to mee that I may eate that my soule may blesse thee before I dye Thus Isaak blessed Iacob and said c 28.3 God All-mighty blesse thee and make thee fruitfull and multiplie thee that thou mayest be a multitude of people c. 49.28 Thus Iacob blessed the twelve tribes when hee spake unto them and blessed them every one according to his blessing hee blessed them c 31.55 Thus Laban even in the time of his health rose up early in the morning and kissed his Sonnes and his daughters and blessed them and then departed and returned to his place Yea thus even Moses who was but a leader of the people and not so neerely linked unto them by the bonds of nature blessed them and sayd Deut. 1 11. The Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times so many more as yee are and blessed you as hee hath promised you Thus the same Moses againe drawing neere to the time of his leaving the world c. 33.1 with his blessing did blesse the children of Israel before his death Thus when the dayes of David drew neere that hee should dye 1. King 2.1 hee gave a charge and a blessing to his beloved Sonne Solomon And noe marveile since it is most true that hee whom God blesseth is blessed Num 22.6 and hee whom hee curseth is cursed The blessing of a parent is nothing but a prayer to the giver of good things Iam. 1.17 that hee may be pleased to send his blessing on their issue Mee thinks therfore the words of Samuel which hee sayd unto the people doe take a deepe impression in my breast 1. Sam. 12.23 for hee sayd God forbid that I should sinne against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you With leave then of my God I will see my children and I will kisse them as Laban did his and I will likewise blesse them The Lord direct mee in my prayers for them and the Lord accept my prayers grant my requests which I shall make unto him for them part 2 The Second part being the benediction or blessing it selfe ending in a prayer MY deerest children yee whom I love in the tender yerning bowells of affection draw neere and attend to the words of your dying mother A weake woman yee see I am but yet sinfull I am which peradventure yee see not O weepe not my prettie ones doe not pierce and breake my troubled heart with your sad laments I must dye my litle ones and goe to a better place whither yee I hope shall one day follow mee Wee came not together into the world nor shall wee goe together out of it In vaine doe yee shed those teares of sorrow for allthough nature teacheth you to bewayle my departure yet grace will teach you to moderate your mourning My heart even bleede's to leave you behind mee fearing lest yee will forget the commandements of your God I should be sorrie to have just cause to say unto you as Moses did to the Levites yet I will put you in mind of his words Deut. 31.27 Behold sayd hee while I am yet alive with you this day yee have beene rebellious against the Lord vers 29 how much more after my death I know that after my death yee will utterly corrupt your selves and turne aside from the way which I commanded you and evill will befall you in the latter dayes because yee will doe evill in the sight of the Lord Heb. 6.9 to provoke him to anger through the worke of your hands But I am perswaded better things of you and things that accompanie salvation though I thus speake O my deare ones hearken unto the words which I shall say They must be my legacie unto you heare mee with patience and treasure up in your memories the last speech of your fainting your dying mother How deare yee cost mee before yee had life and what pangs and torments I suffered for you before yee were heard or seene in the world yee cannot imagine nor I expresse Yet all was forgotten for joy that yee were borne Ioa 16.21 and hoping that yee would adde unto the quire of Saints To this purpose I have laboured and taken care for the nourishment both of your soules bodies and for your sustentation so much as in mee lay from the breast to this instant O what sad and perplexed thoughts have I had for you in the day times and how many howers have I borrowed from my sleepe in the nights to thinke what would become of you if yee should not be obedient to the commandements of my God! To the same God they are best knowne O how often upon my knees have I prayed for your happinesse and wept and mourned when yee have done what yee ought not To him is it best knowne to whom I now am goeing Sometimes when yee have offended I was enforced to correct you but each stripe which yee receaved did cut mee into the heart In many things yee failed because yee were young and in many things I failed too because I am a weake and a sinfull woman If at any time yee thought that I did not my duety take heede that hereafter yee remember it not to my dishonour Ponder in your
and rent my heart and amend my life Ioël 2.13 and faithfully rely upon the passion of my Redeemer I may then assure my selfe that hee will correct mee with judgment Ier 10 24. and not in his anger I know that dye I must but in him I earnestly desire to dye When I was in health I thought not of mortalitie and therfore now I am in sicknesse I can skarce so much as hope for immortalitie But I will beseech him to spare mee a litle that I may repent Ps 39.13 before I goe hence and be noe more seene I faine would live not that I might adde to my sinnes but that I might be sorrie for my sinnes I would faine continue here a litle longer that so I might make my peace the surer Long I have continued in wickednesse ô my God spare mee a litle time to spend in contrition If I may enjoy my life but for a litle longer space I will resolve by the grace of my God to dedicate it wholly to the service of him and that I may in some measure make up my repentance before my departure I will beseech him if it may stand with his immutable decree to lend mee a litle more time wherein by his grace I may labour my reconciliation with him My time of death indeede seemeth to draw nigh and yet I doe not consider or at least I have not considered that all this time which I have lived I have beene truely dead Surely thus I have beene for so saith King Solomon Prov. 21.16 The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding shall remaine in the congregation of the dead Thus have I beene dead even in trespasses and sinnes justly therfore now my life doeth hasten away Eph 2.1 and my death approacheth I am now layed upon my bed of sorrow Not as the un-chast Amnon was 2. Sam. 13.5 who lingered after an un-cleane enjoying of his sister Tamar onely counterfeiting a sicknesse Nor like the coveteous Ahab 1. King 21.4 who vexed himselfe because Naboth had denyed to sell him his vine-yard 2. Sam. 4.7 Nor like Ishbosheth ready to be slaine by a Rechab and a Baanah unlesse my sinnes and my sicknesse the effect of my sinnes be that Rechab and that Baanah But languishing I lye allmost despairing of recoverie by reason of the weakenesse of my neere consumed body and spirits through the sharpnesse of my disease Is 14.11 My pompe is even brought downe to the grave and the noise of my violls the worme is spread under mee and the wormes are ready to cover mee But let mee say with holy Iob Iob 10 20. Are not my dayes few Cease then ô my God and let mee alone that I may take comfort a litle vers 21 Before I goe whence I shall not returne even to the land of darknesse and the shadow of death A land of darknesse vers 22 as darknesse it selfe and the shadow of death without any order and where the light is as darknesse There is noe worke nor device Eccl. 9.10 Ps 6.5 knowledg nor wisedome in the grave whither I am goeing In death there is noe remembrance of thee ô my God in the grave who shall give thee thank 's Ps 115.17 Is 38.18 The dead praise not thee ô Lord neither any that goe downeinto silence The grave cannot praise thee death cannot celebrate thee they that goe downe into the pit cannot hope for thy trueth vers 19 The living onely the living hee shall praise thee the father to the children shall make knowne thy trueth Thou thy selfe hast professed that thou art not a God of the dead Matt 22.32 Ps 88.10 vers 11 but of the living wilt thou then shew wonders to the dead Shall the dead arise and praife thee Shall thy loving kindnesse be declared in the grave Or thy faithfullnesse in destruction vers 12 Shall thy wonders be knowne in the darke And thy righteousnesse in the land of forgetfullnesse Consider then Ps 13.3 Ps 69.15 and heare mee ô Lord my God lighten mine eyes that I sleepe not in death Let not the water-flood over-flow mee neither let the deepe swallow mee up and let not the pit shut her mouth upon mee Heare mee ô Lord vers 16 for thy loving kindnesse is good turne unto mee according to the multitude of thy tender mercies 1. Sam 2.6 Thou art hee who doest both kill and make alive who bringest downe to the grave 2. King 4.20 bringest up againe When the Shunamite's child had sate on his mother's knees untill noone vers 21 it then departed but shee went up and layed him on the bed of the man of God vers 32 and shut the doore upon him and went out And when Elisha was come into the house behold the child was dead and laid upon his bed vers 33 hee went in therfore and shut the doore upon them twaine and prayed unto thee my greate and powerfull God vers 35 And the child neezed seaven times and the child opened his eyes Mat 9.18 When the ruler of the Synagogue worshipped my Saviour and sayd My daughter is even now dead but come and lay thine hand upon her and shee shall live vers 25 Then hee went in and tooke her by the hand and the mayd arose O my God to thee I submit my selfe doe with mee as thou pleasest In thy power it is to spare mee for a while It will not be harder for thee to restore mee to health then it was to restore the dead unto life Faine I would live longer that I may repent more Lord if it be thy pleasure adde yet some more dayes unto my life restore mee to health and make mee praise thee for thy mercies Longer I would not live unlesse thou shalt be pleased with my life to renew mine obedience and yet dye I would not unlesse thou shalt first be pleased to give mee a sense of my sinnes and a sorrow upon that sense and a comfortable and contenting joy upon that sorrow Thou art the potter and I am the clay allready thou hast made mee and it is now in thy power either to breake mee into sheards or to preserve mee whole I who have cryed so much in the extreamitie of mine anguish doe now beseech thee with my teares to spare mee Mat. 8.8 O speake the word onely and thy servant shall be healed But yet howsoëver I submit to thine owne good pleasure Lord if it may be thy will let the skill of my Phisitians and the power of my medicines and whatsoëver shall be administred unto mee take a blessing from thee if thou shalt restore mee againe to thee and to thy service will I devote my life My time shall be thine my dayes thine my thoughts my words and mine actions thine So shall thy mercy be magnified and thy praise I will be for ever singing and will
I am strongly assured that shortly even presently Ps 36.9 in thy light in thy Kingdome whereof thou thy selfe art the light Reu 21 23. Eccl. 7.1 I shall see light Now doe I with heavenly comfort assure my selfe that the day of death is better farre better then the day of my birth for I was borne to sinne Ps 23.4 but I dye to reigne Now though I walke through the valley of the shadow of death I can feare noe evill for thou art with mee thy rod and thy staffe thy comfort mee VVhat though I am counted with them that goe downe to the pit Ps 88.4 andam as a man that hath noe strength Iob. 17 1. VVhat though my breath be corrupt though my spirit be spent though my dayes be extinct and though the graves be ready for mee vers 13 VVhat though the grave be mine house and presently I shall make my bed in the darknesse VVhat though corruption vers 16 and the worme shall goe downe to the barrs of the pit and our rest shall be together in the dust VVhat though death be come up into my windowes into mine eyes Ier. 9.21 Ps 107 18. and be entered into the tabernacle of my body VVhat though my soule abhorreth all manner of meate and I draw necre unto the gates of death VVhat though my heart be sore pained within mee Ps 55.4 Ps 44.17 and the terrours of death be fallen upon mee Yet though all this be come upon mee I will not forget thee o my God neither will I deale falsly in thy covenant vers 18 My heart shall not be turned back neither shall my stepps decline from thy way noe vers 19 though thou hast sore broken mee in the place of dragons and doest cover mee with the shadow of death I am goeing now the way of all the earth Ios 23.14 and doe know in my heart and in my soule that not one thing shall faile mee which the Lord my God hath promised to his elect Now am I joyfully goeing to the gates of the grave Is 38.10 I am deprived of the residue of my yeares vers 11 vers 12 I shall behold man noe more with the inhabitants of the earth Mine age is departed and is removed from mee even as a shep-heard's tent But yet Lord Ps 39.7 what is my hope Truely my hope is even in thee I shall speedily depart then shall I joyfully be freed from sinne Mat 26 38. The soule of my Redeemer was exceeding sorrowfull even unto death and all for my sake as well as for others that I might now be joyfull and rejoyce unto life Mee think 's that voyce from heaven which was heard by the Apostle is now sounding in mine eares and saying Reu. 14 13. Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from hence forth yea faith the spirit that they may rest from their labours and their workes doe follow them Mee think's I find the words of the Psalmist full of truth and comfort Ps 116.15 that Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints O now mee think's like that blessed martyr Saint Stephen looking up to the heavens I see thâ—… open Act 7.55 Ps 31.5 and the glory of God and my Iesus staâ— ding on the right hand of his father I come Lord I come Into thy hands I commend my spirit for thou hast redeemed mee ô Lord thâ—… God of truth Take mee into thine armes ô God Act. 7.59 Convey mee to thy Kingdome ô Christ Lord Iesus receave my spirit Amen subject 27 The TWENTIE-SEAVENTH SUBJECT Teares in the distressed time of civill warrs The Soliloquie containing a patheticall and grievous lamentation for the present distractions both in the Church Common-wealth by reason of these cruell most bloody warrs THE EjACULATION Psal 5. vers 1. Give eare to my words ô Lord consider my meditation vers 2. Hearken unto the voyce of my cry my king and my God for unto thee will I pray SHall a trumpet be blowne in the city and the people not be afraid Amos. 3.6 Saith the Lord by the mouth of his holy Prophet A trumpet Why Lev. 25 9. Is that so dreadfull So terribleâ— I find that a trumpet of Iubilee was appointedâ— be sounded in the day of atonement throughout 〈◊〉 the land of promise when the Israelitâ— should come into it and certainly wheâ— that trumpet sounded the people rejoyced 〈◊〉 were not afraid Yea but the Lord called not to rejoycing and Iubilees when he threatned Israel by the mouth of that Prophe who was among the herdmen of Tekoa Amos. 1.1 The first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard as the Scriptures mention was a cause of trembling Ex. 19.14.15 for the third day after Mosâ— went downe from the Mount unto the people vers 16 in the morning there were thunders anâ— lightnings and a thick clowde upon the mount and the voice of the trumpet exceeding lowd so that all the people that were in the campe trembled Yea they so trembled and were so afraid when they saw the thunderings c. 20.18 and the lightâ— nings and the noise of the trumpet and the mountaine smoaking that they removed and stood a farre off vers 19 and said unto Moses Speake thou with us and wee will heare but let not God speake with us lest wee die This was the first sound of a trumpet that ever was heard and I find that this was a cause of trembling Againe I reade that the trumpet was ordained for the sounding an all arme Num. 10.5 and that o that is it which now sound 's in our eares Nothing but a point of warre nothing but newes of firâ— and fword is heard among us The â—…umpets the trumpets oh they sound they â—…nd a shrill and horrid dinne a fearfull â—…se they make in our eares and our newâ—…ced cities and our new-fortified townes â—…e encompassed as once Iericho was when â—…e trumpets of rams-hornes were blowne by â—…e priests and the people showted Ios 6 8. vers 16 Surely that â—…ay is come upon us which the Lord threatâ—…ed Ierusalem with by the mouth of his Proâ—…het for the mighty man cryeth bitterly Zeph. 1 14. vers 15 the â—…y of wrath is come upon us the day of trouble â—…d distresse the day of wastnesse and desolaâ—…on the day of darknesse and gloominesse the â—ay of cloudes and thick darknesse vers 16 the day of the â—rumpet and all-arme against the fenced cities â—nd against the high towers vers 17 Distresse is come â—pon us that we walke like blind men because we have sinned against the Lord and our blood is â—owred out as dust and our flesh is as the dung Oh that is fallen upon us which was threatâ—…ed to Egypt Our land is watered with blood Eze 32 6. wherein wee doe swimme even to the mounâ—aines and
fierce wrath and repent of this evill against thy people Is 1.26 Turne thine hand upon us and purely purge a way our drosse and take away all our tinne vers 26 Restore our Iudges as at the first and our counsellers as at the beginning and call our land the land of righteousnesse vers 27 the faithfull land Let our Zion be redeemed with judgment and our converts with righteousnesse Ps 86.17 Shew some good token upon us for good that they which hate us may see it be ashamed because thou Lord helpest and comfortest us Heare ô my God in the bowells of thy compassions close and bind up our wounds for his sake who was wounded for our transgressions pardon us for his sake who is our onely reconciliation and let the cryes which our finns have sent up to heaven for vengeance be ceased and quieted by the blessed pleading of our onely Mediatour betweene thee and us even the beloved Sonne of thy bosome Iesus Christ our onely Lord and Saviour Amen The Second Prayer consisting of 1 A dolefull complaint of our grievous calamities 2 An humble desire of the remission of our sinns 3 A fervent supplication for righteousnesse and peace GReate and glorious Lord God who art the Lord of hosts 1. Sam. 17.45 Exod 15.3 and God of the armies of Israel ô thou who hast styled thy selfe a man of warre whose name is the Lord Looke downe I beseech thee upon the distressed anguish consuming sorrowes of this thy people in our land of blood Thou seest Lord thou seest the afflictions of Ioseph the calamities of thy people how our blood is shed like water on every side of our Kingdome how our bones lye scattered before the pit like as when one breaketh and heweth wood upon the earth How long Lord how long just and holy shall the prayers and the teares and the cries and the supplications of thy saints and servants ascend up unto heaven and yet thou seeme unto us as a deafe man which heareth not and as a man which is dumb Ps 38.13 that openeth not his mouth Is there noe balme in Gilead Is there noe physitian there Why then is nâ—… the health of the daughter of thy people recovered Ier O the hope of Israel the saviour thereof in the time of trouble why should thou be as a stranger in our land and as way-faring man that turneth a side to tarrâ— but a night Psal Thou hast moved our land and divided it ô heale the sores thereof for it shaketh O let the sorrowfull sighing of the prisoners come before thee according to the multitude of thy mercies preserve thou those that are appointed to death Arise ô Lord from thy resting place thou and the arke of thy strength Arise and have mercy upon our Sion for it is time that thou have mercy upon her yea the time is come for why Thâ— servants thinke upon her stones and it greiveth us to see how shee lyeth downe in the dust O now at last be thou favourable and gracious to our Sion and build thou the walls of our Ierusalem Send peace within our walls and plenteousnesse within our pallaces For our brethrens and companions sake I wish this prosperitie yea because of the many houses of the faithfull who put their trust in thee our Lord our God I pray for this good Exod. 3 7. Thou o Lord hast surely seene the afflictions of this thy people and hast heard our cries by reason of the sword for thou knowest our sorrowes vers 8. O come thou downe to deliver us as once thou didst thy people of Israel from the hand of the Egyptians Thou seest how the sword is drawne in an unnatuâ—…ll manner brother against brother neighâ—our against neighbour house against house â—ather against Sonne and Sonne against Father all having weapons of warre which â—re like to destroy the nation all clothing â—hemselves in garments rolled in blood Isa 9.5 Thou seest how many amongst us thirst for blood how whole rivers thereof runne in our fields and in our streetes yet it is not in the power or pollicie of man to stoppe the current It is now o Lord with us as it was once with idolatrous Israel when Moses commanded them saying Exod. 32.27 Put every man his sword by his side and goe in and out and slay every man his brother and every man his companion and every man his neighbour Psal Thy holy temples are defiled and without thy preventing mercy our Ierusalem may be made an heape of stones Heresie and Schisme oppose the cleere light of thy glorious gospel Ps 137.7 and like the children of Edom in the day of Ierusalem they say even of truth it selfe downe with it downe with it even to the ground Many of our citties and townes doe now sitt solitarie Lam. 1 1. c 2.11 that were full of people and are become as widdowes The children and sucklings swoone in our streetes the widows make their lamentations over the gasping bodies of their wounded husbands the young ones cry for bread but some of them find neither fathers to give it theÌ„ nor mothers to compassionate them Is 33.8 The high wayes lye wast 〈◊〉 way-faring man ceaseth the line of confusâ—… is stretched out upon the land c. 34.11 the stones of eâ—…ptinesse vers 13 Thornes come up in our pallaces netâ— and brambles in our streetes and houses aâ— become habitations of dragons c. 8.21 and courts fâ— owles Some wicked ones among us that aâ— hungry Lam. 2.9 fret themselves and curse our Kinâ— and our god and looke upward The law iâ— noe more vers 10 the Prophets allso find noe visâ—… from thee the Lord. The elders sit upon the ground and keepe silence they have cast up dâ—…t upon their heads they have girded themselves with sack-cloth the virgins hâ—… downe their heads to the ground It is not noâ— as it was in the dayes of ould Luc. 7.25 when men clothâ— in soft raiment and they which were gorgeousâ— apparelled and lived delicately were in King courts Is 1.7 Our countrie is desolate our citties aâ— burnt with fire and our land is desolate as orâ— throwne by strangers Lam 5.1 Remember ô Lord who is come upon thy people consider and behold on reproach vers 2. Some of our inheritances are turned to strangers and our houses to aliants Many among us are orphans and fatherlesse vers 3. and many that were wives are become widowes Many doe get their bread with the perill of their lives vers 9. Ps 142.7 vers 6. Ps 94.19 because of the sword that maketh our land a wildernesse O Lord doe thou consider our complaint for wee are brought very low Thou ô Lord art our hope and our portion in the multitude of sorrowes which wee have in our â—…rts let thy comforts ô my God refresh our â—…les Heare ô Lord and