his image is pictured out to be so feareful in all the corners of our life let it be a bridle to restraine our filthy lusts and let vs step backe when we see such a bottomlesse deapth lye wide open before vs. But if we haue so engaged and bound our selues before hand as that we cannot goe backe yet he at least forewarneth vs of the danger and let vs forsake this vile and heauie burden of baggage that we may the lightlier leape and lustelier skip ouer this dangerous breake-necke and leape into that goodly and flourishing playne which we see to be on the other side which is that euerlasting life that we all waite for Howbeit if the remembrance of this temporall and corporall death cannot possibly wither and dry vp our thoughts who is he amongst vs whē as we shall but once think vpon the other death which afterward threatneth vs which is this spiritual eternal death that wil not tremble gnash his teeth with feare yea a most horrible death because that they vpon whom it layeth hold do dye eternally not looking for the blessednes whereof they depriued themselues for euer and yet liue for euer but altogether in sorrowes torments whereunto they are eternally reserued Alas are not we able so terribly horribly to picture him out as that we neuer dare once behold his looks Let vs picture the dart which he carieth in his hand with fire and flame round about it and arme it with hell fire with fireforks and tongs But we cōtrariwise garnish him with al maner of ornamēts to make him seeme pleasing vnto our eyes set a false couler vpon him to make him shew more agreeable vnto our liking we erect aulters vnto him neuer make feasts of reioycing but when as we consecrate our soules vnto him And when is that forsooth euen then when we bath our selues in these worldly pleasures or rather when we plunge our soules into that infernall riuer of forgetfulnesse which putteth out that heauenly fier that is in vs rocketh vs asleepe maketh vs become most brutish beastly And yet notwithstāding we then say that we liue not counting any of those dayes any part of our life which we passe not ouer in pastimes merimēts nay rather which we passe not ouer in sins trāsgressiōs Surely we are much like vnto those sailers which turn their backs vpō the place where they meane to go ashore We make a shew as thogh we would eschue this death yet according to the course of our liues we run vnto it with open mouth Let vs therefore looke wishly vpō this death and on as many other rocks as we must sayle and flote by in this voyage that we may feare And let vs consider that we are now so wounded and brused as that if an especiall fauour from heauen saue vs not we shall be hardly able to auoyd shipwracke This is the contritiō which should be in our souls this is that bitter repentance which shoulde drawe bloudie teares euen frō out of the bottome of our bowels This is it that should make vs hate euen our own selues for the recōciling of vs vnto our God to renue our life of sin and wickednes into puritie and cleannesse This is it that should cause vs to enter into iudgement with our selues that we might not be reserued vnto the day of that most heauy iudgemēt For what man is he that is able at that day to iustifie himselfe Now it is not enough that we haue had this compunction and repentance in our harts but we must also lay open our sinnes and the iustice of God that we might receiue from him his mercy and comfort And it is he that must accept of our sorrow and griefe and he vnto whome we must make an honorable amends and simply and plainely confesse our errors For seeing it is his pleasure that his goodnes which he is able to keepe and reserue vnto himselfe should be poured out vpon all his creatures and that he hath made all things to manifest his glorie and bestowed the vse of our life only to glorifie him neither are we any way able to repare the offence which we commit against him by the corrupting of the vse of our life but in manifesting that he hath created vs to do good that we our selues haue conuerted our selues only to do ill And therefore we must of necessitie vndoubtedly declare that he is liberall we most vnthankfull we must say that he is good our selues to be most wicked we must also pronounce his righteousnesse and our sinne we must set forth our own griefs and his mercy we must protest that all the euill which is in vs commeth of ourselues and all the good which we hope after to proceed from him alone For if so be we shall be silent after that we haue once acknowledged our euill it is to be belieued that we will perseuere with this silēce all the daies of our life past and so approue by this silēce that we cannot freely be found fault withall And Tertullian exhorting vs vnto this confession telleth vs that we do not confesse our selues vnto God as if he knew not our sinnes before hād but because confession is a counsel vnto satisfaction and maketh vs apt vnto reconciliation and reconciliation vnto mercy and mercy vnto euerlasting life Now the satisfaction which we looke for commeth from his fauour and grace by which only we must and may be restored vnto immortalitie and this grace is not geuen vnto any but vnto such as acknowledge themselues to be miserable sinners and not geuen by any but by him that is chiefe in power It must needs therefore be that the word which he hath bestowed vpon vs to glorifie him withall must be employed to the manifestation of our misery because the confession of our sinnes iustifieth the goodnes of God which we haue as much as in vs lieth vtterly peruerted We must therefore pray vnto him to forgiue vs as if we should say that he may and ought to punish vs and so thereby testifie his power and righteousnes For this cause it is why the Prophet Isaiah calleth vs when as he sayth Goe your wayes with those that are sanctified and present your Confession vnto God with the liuing O sayth Ecclesiastes it is a good thing when as he that is sound in a fault will manifest his repentance And truly it were a great glorie for vs if we would be once so couragious as openly to confesse our sinnes and shew that as we haue been the first that haue sinned so also we are the first that do repent Howbeit there remaineth in vs a foolish shame which abideth with vs as the skarre of sinne and causeth vs the slowlier and hardlier to do it This was the cause why the auntient Fathers in fitting themselues vnto this our infirmitie and vnto the weakenesse of such also which might be offended
the more my voice cryeth vnto thee the stronger it is my courage encreaseth more and my praier betteâ— pleaseth me And therefore do I begin againe daily to crie vpon thee Lord heare my praier giue eare vnto my complaint for in praying to thee my God consisteth all mine whole comfort It is my praier O Lord which coniureth thy louing kindnessâ— to purge my sinnes not by reason of the seueritie of the punishment but by the meanes of the effect of the grace which thou hast graunted vnto vs by which thou doest abolish by thy souereigne and absolute power the remembrance of our sinnes 2 And therefore enter not O Lord into iudgement with thy seruant ne yet leaue him vnto the rigour of thy lawes for no man liuing that shall appeare before thee at thy iudgement seate shall be iustified No man shall escape this fearefull condemnation the punishment whereof is not onely cruell but immortally rigorous also Alas O Lord who can be saued before thee It is thou that art offended it is thou that wilt â—ccuse vs It is thou that hast seene ouâ— iniquities and wilt attest them â—nd it is thou that shalt iudge vs. When the accuser shall be witnesse and the witnesse Iudge what shall become of the offendor What defence can he make to iustifie himselfe O Lord my God I will not â—…rrie vntill this blowe light vpon me I will defend me with â—…y fauour and grace to oppose it vnto thy Iustice And thy grace is obtained by the acknowleding and confessing of our sinnes and the humbling and submitting of our mindes Loe I here cast downe my selfe prostrate before thee and lay open my sinnes and therefore I beseech thee O Lord to haue mercy vpon me 3 My sinnes my God the capitall enemie vnto my soule haue so terrified me and cast me downe as that I now lie crawling vpon the ground daring not once to looke vp vnto heauen For so soone as I lift vp mine eyes I see the light which shineth vpon me discouer on the day a great many of sinnes which accuse my conscience And then I feele forthwith shame take holde on my guiltie face and to make me cast downe my countenance vnto the ground a countenance vnworthy to behold the heauens the maister wherof she hath so grieuously offended too too cowardly a face to cast the eyes thereof vpon such places which haue so many thunder-bolts prepared to roote out the guiltie 4 My spirit therefore hath led me into darke places and buried me as a dead man in the cranuies of obscuritie My soule is made very sad in me and mine hart stirreth it selfe like vnto one walking with his nose lifted vp into the weather who through his retchlesnesse falleth into the boâ—rome of a well hauing forthwith thereby beene amazed is incontinent void of iudgement falleth out with himselfe and tormenteth himselfe vntill such time as being come againe to his wits he knoweth both the place wherein he is and vnderstandeth the maner how he fell in and then beginneth by little and little to get vp againe vnto the top thereof and yet is scarslie able to note and marke the place whence he so easily fell 5 And so hauing called to minde as farre as I possibly could the memorie of things past hauing set before me in a deepe meditation the workes of thine hands and hauing exactly considered the perfection thereof yea and remembring the estate wherein thou hast created vs and besides setting before me him by whome I feele my selfe now as it were oppressed vnder the destruction of sinne I cursed in my self the houre wherein my mother conceiued me I abhorred the day which first opened vnto me mine eye lids whereby I might see heauen and earth witnesses of mine infirmitie and in the end finding nothing in the world that in this distresse might comfort and helpe me I at last addressed my selfe vnto thy most excellent maiestie 6 I fell on both my knees before thee I stretched out mine armes and hands vnto thee and my soule thirsting for thy grace waited with a great desire for the same as the chapping ground through heat looketh for a gratious and sweet showre in the hoatest daies of sommer 7 Make hast therefore vnto me O my God for I am already out of breath for loe mine heart fainteth and I am at the point to swound wilt thou stay vntill I be dead I am already so if thou make noâ— hast for my sences do by little and â—…tle faile me my soule glideth gentlie out of me leauing my body without moouing and I am like vnto him who letting his foote bleede in the water looseth his life with his bloud without feeling the occasion or cause of his death 8 If thou O Lord holdest thy selfe aloofe from me and turnest thy face â—…ay I shall become like vnto those that go downe vnto the bottom of hell â—…le death will make my face looke wanâ—… and my feeling to sleepe â—ay a worse thing then this will betide me my God for spirituall death will kill my soule make it horribly a feard and take from her the acknowledgement of thy singular goodnesse and the hope of grace which shineth in thy miracles as a bright shining starre in a darke night 9 Make me therefore O lord in thy good time to vnderstand and feele the effect of thy mercy and when the sunne riseth in the morning vpon the face of the earth let then thy louing kindnesse rise vpon me for the enlightening of mine ignorance and leade me in the way of thy wyll But let it not deale with me O Lord as the sunne dooth who at his fall plungeth him selfe into the sea keeping away his light for a time from poore wretched and distressed men But let thy fauour and grace continually assist and defend mee and neuer depart more from me then my soule doth from my body for thy mercy is farre away more 〈…〉 of my soule theâ— my soule is 〈◊〉 lâ—fe of my bodie 10 And therefore let 〈…〉 neuer forsake me but let 〈◊〉 â—ight direct my footsteps alwayes in thy wayes and leade me continually in the way which must bring me vnto thee For my spirit which hath run it self through the strange â—…ches of this world and strayed into the broad and thicke bushes thereof can neuer find out her tract againe but rusheth out at all aduentures and loseth both her path and also her payne going alwayes back from the abiding place whither she was deteâ—…ned to goe But I my God do alwayes attend thine ayd for it is from aboue that I looke for help 11 I am a captiue in the hands of the most cruell enemies of my life and therefore I most humbly beseech thee ô Lord to make haste to deliuer me I flye vnto thee for refuge receiue mee into thy protection Teach mee what thou wouldest haue me to do for thou art my God whome alone I am resolued now to serue And now away away from me
come any thing neere the number of them Now what obedience is it that we should yeeld vnto thee how should we ghesse to do that which might please thee who is able to sound the bottome of thy thoughts and who shall be able to vnderstand that which thou wouldest haue I therefore beseech thee only that thy will be done For lâ—…h thou art altogether good thou willest nothing but good things and for thee both to do and to will is all one and in making this prayer vnto thee we wholy submit our selues vnto thee who neuer faylest to will vs well and to performe the fame also For whatsoeuer ô Lord thou hast willed waâ— done and from this thy will as from a liuely and pleasant spring head are deriued all the benefits wherewith the whole face of the earth is couered and wherewith all the heauens are beautified Continue thou the same towards vs and seeing thy loue is as a fire that encreaseth according as it findeth matter to burne let it encrease and enlarge it selfe in doing good vnto vs vnto vs I say poore miserable wretches in whose weakenesse miserie and infirmitie it shall finde it selfe matter enough to exercise and worke vpon When I pray thee ô Lord That thy will be done my meaning is to beseech thee that thou wouldest eftsoones root out of mine heart all these worldly desires and willes which being borne in the corruption of the flesh can not haue any fellow-feeling and agreement with the law of the spirit neyther geue thou me the bridle to liue as I lust and seeing that I am thy child and honorest me with this title let me neuer be bondslaue vnto my affectioÌ„s but keepe me vnder the rod of thy law vnder the tutorship of thy 〈…〉 demeÌ„ts to the end that my 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 many as haue swoâ—…se to 〈…〉 â—…ing framed to serue and 〈◊〉 thee worthely may also be reâ—dy â—…erfull in the ministerie of thy â—eâ—…ce so long as we shall abide here below in this mortall world as thine Angels and other most blessed soules are in that heauenly habitation and so Thy will be done in earth as it is in heauen And seeing it is thy will that our frayle and mortall bodies do dayly decay and had need to be repared and strengthned by some new nourishment that wee might haue continually recourse vnto thee Geue vs my God our dayly bread and geue vs therewith the grace so to vse it and all other thy benefits which thou hast bestowed vpon vs that we in some measure nourishing and maintaining our bodies grieue not nor vexe not our soules making them thereby lesse able to come vnto the knowledge of thy truth And in vsing thy liberall dealing with thanksgeuing we tye not for all that our affections vnto earthly and worldly things but make vs so to passe through these temporall benefits as we lose not for the getting of them the eternall blessings Let not the taste of earthly bread wherewith we feed our bodies make vs forget our heauenly bread that bread of life that eternall bread which nourisheth strengthneth our soules keepeth them from death filleth our mouthes with the Deitie and maketh vs the temples of our God to receiue him into our bodies and to be made members of his members Graunt vs my God that by this bread or rather by this flesh we may be incorporated into our Redeemer and as he in taking and putting on of our flesh was partaker of our death euen so we taking and putting on of his flesh may be partakers of his immortalitie And seeing we haue my God bene made vessels and receptacles of his Deitie wash vs and make vs cleane to the end that he comming to dwell in vs thou mayest finde nothing there to geue thee occasion to depart from vs and to make vs voyd of thy grace and of our saluation Now it is impossible for vs to be made cleane without thou forgeue vs our sinnes and remit our debts For we haue bene bondslaues both vnto sinne and vnto death and whatsoeuer we clayme to be ours it belongeth vnto him neither haue we any thing either to pay our raunsome or yet to discharge our debt and therfore ô Lord it is thou that must do it Thou hast once for all redeemed vs and set vs at libertie but yet notwithstanding we dayly fall into the hands of the enemy we daily commit a thousand sinnes which make vs bond vnto sinne cease not for all this my God to opeÌ„ vnto vs this treasure froÌ„ which we may take the price of our libertie Be thou ô Lord more strong stout in pardoning of vs then we are in offending of thee Let thy merciful hand stretch it selfe out continually vnto vs for sin cleaueth fast vnto the marrow of our bones and groweth and waxeth old in vs which maketh vs wheÌ„ we are old to be after a sort more filthy infectious were it not that thou continually applyest vnto our miserie the merit and worthinesse of thy holy passion to the end that we in some measure launching wounding our consciences thou mayest strengthen and heale our wounds and rub out with the oyle of thy mercy the skarres that may of them remayne Otherwise ô Lord I should be afeard that thou in casting thine eyes ordinarily vpon vs wouldest in the end be so angry and grieued as that thou wouldest come very fast vpon vs to be reuenged of the wickednes which we our selues haue coÌ„mitted Forgeue vs therfore our offences that is to say our sins which we coÌ„mit all the time of our life And forgeue vs ô heauenly Father as we from our very harts forgeue theÌ„ that trespasse against vs. Cause vs coÌ„tinually to set before vs this loue by which thou hast not only takeÌ„ vpoÌ„ thee to pay our debts but the punishment for our sins that we may iudge what an vnreasonable thing it should be for vs to looke to haue any fauour at thy hands who wil not agree with our neighbors considering there is no comparison betweene the offences which we commit against thee and the offences wherwith they offend vs. Pluck cleane out of our harts all pride malice for their sakes for whose ayd and succour thou causedst vs to be borne Geue vs gentle and meeke spirits which may keepe vs in vnitie and brotherly loue by patiently meekly bearing the infirmities one of another For we right well know my God how easily we slip yea how easily we stumble and fall in the way of thiâ— slippery and irkesome life We haue too too little force and strength continually to keepe our feet and to resist the winds which driue vs forward into the steepe breake-necks of all wickednes and iniquitie And therfore we pray most earnestly vnto thee Not to leade vs into tentation and to keepe farre froÌ„ vs all occasions which may any way cause vs to offend thee and to arme vs with thy holy spirit against all those
remedie we can finde out for them and it may be it will be to good purpose to vse the counsell which a good auncient Father gaue vnto a religious nouice of his house Like as wise nurses sayd he when they will weane their children will rub the neble of their teate with wormewood and other bitter druggs euen so must we be dealt withall for the making of vs lose the taste of our delightes and pleasures for wee must set downe vnto our selues a certaine punishment for our lusts and change the houres of our pleasures into rigorous and austere exercises and at what time we are wonted to take our foolish and dissolute recreations let vs examine with all humilitie what paynes and torments our sinfull and detestable life deserueth I cannot tell whether this good old Father in speaking this thought vpon the custome which the Hebrewes vsed who made a solemne feast vpon that day that they began to weane any of their children or whether they reioyced in that their children left their weaker foode and fell to more strong and marrowye meates either else to stirre them vp by their example vnto a new kinde of dyet For we may verie fitlie applie this example vnto the instruction of our mindes if so be we will weane our selues from the milke of our delights and sweare an irreconciliable diuorce betweene vs and our sinnes inuiting our selues vnto the like feast as he amongst those holie religious men of whome Phylo in the booke of a contemplatiue life maketh mention did They met together at this banquet and the first principall and most delicate and sweet dishes were the most beautifull and best tasting fruites of true wisedome which were presented vnto them by a most elegant preaching of the Prophets and commaundements of God as pure and vndefiled vessels Their reioycing was consolation their pastime austeritie their delicate dishes abstinence Their mindes being satisfied with such marrowy meate they were in a maruelous great and firme tranquillitie to be at leysure to follow their most happie contemplation And surely this exercise would become vs all very well neuerthelesse we had need euery one of vs particularly to accomplish this our purging of the soule which we call repentance by meanes whereof our soule returning into her selfe shall be able to wipe out spot by spot the blots that there most filthely do sauour Seeing then that this repentance should be vnto vs as it were the entrance and preface of a good and perfect life which should make vs cleane we should therein exercise our selues both carefully and ordinarily For seeing we are determined to erect a Temple in our soule wherein to lodge the Deitie we must therfore throughly wash and rewash the same with this purifying water and thinke that it is to vs vnto whome Ezechias speaketh when as he said vnto the Leuits Listen vnto me and sanctifie your selues make cleane the house of the Lord and thrust the filthinesse out of the Sanctuarie We will haue our Spirite to be his Aulter our thoughtes his offerings our prayers his presents and shall we offer them in a filthie place would he not then say vnto vs that which was spoken vnto the Iewes by the mouth of Malachy saying I haue not set mine heart vpon you neither will I receiue any sacrifice from you because you are most filthie and full of pâ—llution But how shall we begin to performe such a glorious and profitable an action Saint Iohn Chrysostome teacheth vs and geueth vnto vs an excellent instruction hereof We must sayth he looke well vnto our selues and hauing compassion of our miserie we must rub and make leane our hearts so as we must alwayes haue our mouths full of the confessing of our sinnes and the rest of our actions in great and singular humilitie The filthy stinking and brutish concupiscences of ours finding our hearts voyd of the grace of God place themselues there and in such sort puffe vp and harden our harts as that no goodnes can now enter them without we first presse and squeeze them betweene our hands with sharpe earnest contrition To be short if we shall not haue blowen this bladder full of wind we shal neuer find this spiritual licour this holy oyle of consolatioÌ„ euer to be placed there This was the presumption that first assaulted the Angels and since that time hath set a snare or pitfall to trap our feet in This is that thing which as an heauie counterpoise keepeth vs continually tied vnto these worldly lusts and which settle our desires in our selues and maketh vs beleeue that we liue only for this world and stayeth also the sayle of our soules from lanching towards heauen How shall we then rid our selues out of this Forsooth in casting back our eys vpon our life in considering of our foulenesse deformitie in beholding how many miseries afflictioÌ„s coÌ„tinually surprize vs which we neuer once loked for If the iustice of God ouer-compassionat in our behalfe did not sufficiently furnish vs with matter to be angrie with our selues or if because wee are too neere vnto our owne harmes we cannot see them let vs turne our eyes vpon the infinite millions of men which now are or yet heretofore haue been and let vs marke what a small and short thing their life is and hath been and yet although it bee neuer so small and short yet it is enuironed with infinite sorrowes griefes and cares which are the verie fruites of theyr sinnes and transgressions Do not all men liuing continually cry and complayne of their miseries and mishaps Now it is no reason that we most sinfull and filthie wretches that we are should seeke out of our selues the matâ—er for which we should be angrie and grieued with our selues For our consciences do commonly tell vs and continually represent vnto vs in despite of vs the register of our sinnes agreeing with that of Democritus saying That hee heard the voyce of malice and sinne accusing her selfe Ouer and besides all this the heauenly iustice or the fatherly care of God continually sheweth vnto vs his rods sometimes striking vs with them to make vs awake and leape out of this miserable filthie and dirtie puddle But if nothing will cause vs to hate our selues and detest our miserable sinfull life let vs consider with our selues and thinke of this hideous and terrible image of death vnto whome our sinne hath deliuered vs vp For death followeth vs hard at our heeles both by sea and land he embarketh himself with vs and rideth on horsebacke behinde vs and leaueth vs nothing saue only our shadow We do nothing else all our life long but flye from him and yet we are still neerer and neerer him It is he that in a moment cutteth off the thread of our desires and he who vppon the suddaine bereaueth vs of all that we haue scraped together with great paine and in the end taketh our selues away cleane out of the world Seeing then that
couragiously died either for the honor of God or els for the seruice of their king or for the defence of their countrey Was there euer yet any nation so barbarous so voide of humanitie or as we commonly say so farre from the sunne as that commend not with great praise the valure and worthinesse of those that haue spent their liues for the common-wealths sake Hath not the memorie of posteritie taken them out of their graues to make them aliue againe in the remembrance of men And if we should come to number out the parts of the life of man shall we recken the time which they haue bestowed in eating drinking and sleeping or rather principally bring into a short accoumpt the dayes wherein they haue most valiantly fought for vertue And therefore that which we call life is but a death because it dyeth without leauing any memory therof for that which we call death iâ— in very deed life because it is that which maketh vs to be continue for euer Neither are we to regard how long we liue but how wel we liue neither commeth death too soone if he bring honor with him neither is it for the only opinion of another and for the honor which we shall get by well dying that ought to make vs contemne death but for the loue of that second life whereinto we must enter The Druydes had some forefeeling of the immortalitie of our soules which caused them to be more valiant then all the people of tho world for they made a skorne to saue their liues saying that they made no more accoumpt of them then of the head of a willow tree And the Philosophers who made a iest at them confessed yet that they held a blessed error Howbeit we say that their wisedome was blessed by tasting of this opinion whereby they found groping in the darke the very resting place of felicitie and had found out the counterpoyson which driueth away and slayeth feare the very poyson of our soules which drieth vp and feeblisheth our hearts and minds But we being brought vp and taught in a better Schoole then they were do not only know but constantly beleeue and not only beleeue but are glad also as a man would say of this second immortall life For we haue a spirit lodging in the inward part of our soule which sayeth and soundeth continually if so be we will heare it nothing else but this life to come And vnto this voyce it is that so many millions of Christians haue in the middest of their afflictions and torments followed the standard or ensigne of their Captaine spilling and sheading their bloud in all the corners of the earth as the true and pure seed os faith This is that Trompet which hath encouraged them to fight this combat from wheÌ„ce they haue returned very bloudy but yet haue bene triumphant and crowned victorers If ambitious honor driueth vs vnto most strange hazards of warre if this affection to be esteemed and honored of those before whome wee liue hastneth and kindleth the course of our actions what greater hope is there of these which haue obtayned this for they haue not onely bene honored whilst they liued but wee also reuerence theyr ashes after they are dead theyr bones are holie vnto vs the memorie of their liues is yeerely renued with deuout commemorations and prayers wee honor them in our verie thoughtes wee humble our cogitations before them as placed in a great degree of honor in the Church of God and as hauing found grace before the face of our Lorde and God And therefore wee must not bee voyde of courage for the effectuall bringing to passe of good and holie things seeing that the verie wicked them selues are the better part of theyr dayes so valiant in executing these wicked and most detestable things For with this patience and strength of courage must wee enter triumphing into the kingdome of glorie wee hauing bene told by Toby this goodly and holy Oracle That hee O Lord which serueth thee with all his heart if his life be put in hazard shall bee without doubt crowned And for this cause it is why the Scripture telleth vs that this good Father beeing brought into miserable captiuitie thraldome did neuer for all that forsake the voyce of the truth And to say truly we can no way iustly attribute vnto our selues the name of Christians if we reiect and forsake the Crosse which is left vnto vs in stead of all other maner of weapons and is the very sample paterne that Iesus Christ hath geuen vs to make vs vnderstand when we shall come vnto him and the watchword that witnesseth vnto vs that we are his For we haue no means that can make vs perceiue that we are instructed in his discipline but by this patience the very mother of all the other vertues And Theodoret also sayth That the Martyres run vnto â—orments as vnto the schoole exercise of vertue It now followeth that we see how we should behaue and carry our selues in the disposing of the benefits which it pleaseth God to bestow vpon vs. In very deede the rule which hereof is set before vs and the habit which we take vpon vs to vse them well is called Liberalitie Now the first precept which we are to learne is to acknowledge that all the benefits which we haue we hold of the goodnes grace of God the ordinary exercise whereof is to do good vnto all the world and to spread vpon vs his blessings albeit we no whit deserue them And the reason why he so bountifully destributeth them amongst vs is not to the end we should locke them vp and let the gold and siluer mould which are no way good nor profitable but when they are well vsed but to the end that as he hath created vs vnto his owne image so also we should imitate him in well doing vnto our neighbour according to our abilities And truly we haue farre greater occasion to do it then he For that which he geueth is his owne and he geueth it to such also as be no way able to do him good But we are another maÌ„s purse-bearers we geue the goods of our God we geue them to such as are not onely able to pay vs againe but also to lend vs as much when we stand in need And although they should be vnable to pay yet God by whose commaundement we geue them answereth vs the same for them and maketh it his owne debt and chargeth himselfe also not only to pay the principal but to geue vsury for it yea double treble and an hundreth fold And we are besides to consider that all these benefits should be dealt proportionnably for our necessties and that by the lawe of nature they belong not vnto vs no further then wee haue neede of them for the maintenance of our life The measure of our benefits are heate cold hunger and thirst and if the custome of the countrey wherein
and bargain with God for the prolonging of his life and wee shall heare his reasons What other thing shall he be but like vnto a prisoner which offreth to cast off his bolts and shackles if he might haue libertie geuen him O miserable man that thou art for that thing which thou thinkest should serue thee for thy safegard is the very window whereat death must enter For death commeth by reason of sin sin by reason of concupiscence and thy concupiscence is nourished encreased and kindled by all these For God will speake all naked vnto thee eueâ— as he placed thee here in the world and will before he begin to capitulate with thee haue thee deliuer vnto him that which thou hast robbed him of I meane those graces and benefits which thou hast misused then shalt thâ—… thinke with thyself whether thou hast of thine owne to pay him double yea quadruple for the punishment due vnto thee for thine ill life 9 Alasse poore senselesse thing if thou once commest to that what shalt thou be able to say against death seeing that the wisest and valiantest men are enforced to be courbed vnder his yoke Shalt thou who hast made no accompt but of corruptible and perishing ritches shalt thou I say be preserued from corruption and the wise man who sought by all the meanes possible he could to immortalize himselfe here in this life conuersed with the Angels cannot warrant himselfe from him Thou thy selfe seest him come to an end and hopest thou to be immortall No no for both wise men fooles dye but after a diuerse sundry manner for the death of the wise man shal be but a passage he shal sâ—…d at his returne his talent infinitely multiplied and encreased and the glorie which he hath sowne shal encrease aboundantly and ouershadow the generation of his children 10 Howbeit all these poore wretched blind soules who contiâ—…ally hold down their heads vnto the earth and whose spirits are shut vp in their purses who haue none other vnderstanding but to loue those things which are not to be beloued who neglect and contemne both Sunne and Moone the verie principall works of nature to admire stones and marble gold and siluer which vainely scatter and disperse the vertues of intelligeÌ„ce and vnderstanding for the getting together and heaping vp of the excrements of the earth shall forgoe the ritches which they haue so greatly loued and for which they hated all the rest Ye shall see them hale and pull against death and draw their ritches with them euen vnto the graue but death will set them vpon their fingers ends and cause them to leaue them euen when they haue gotten them They that are halfe dead shall goe about to lift vp a little their eye lids to see if they can find their treasure at the wykes of their eyes but in the end they must be packing they must leaue this worldly pomp because a mightie power hath pluckt them away But vnto whome shall they leaue this preparation furniture forsooth it may be vnto a stranger whome they neuer knew or euer yet once dreamed of who shall bath and blesse him selfe in the sweate of this miserable ritch caytife churle who shall haue no more left him for his portion but a graue of fifteene or twentie foot long at the most and this shall be his house for euer wherein let him keepe him selfe if he will 11 What is become then of these braue waynscotted palaces these guilt vautes these beautifull ranks of choyse pillers these so faire curled marbles these emblemes sentences engrauen in brasse and all the rest of these wonders of vanitie What is nothing of all this left for him he had established his lands and possessions from race to race from generation to generation and called his houses by his owne name surely this must needs be a great man 12 Alasse poore man for when he was in honor he knew not himselfe neither had he any knowledge he so caried himself as that he is brought to be of the number of the bruite beasts made like vnto Asses horses who haue neither wit nor iudgement For what greater honor could he desire or wish to haue then to be made and formed vnto the fashion of the Deity and to be placed amoÌ„gst the works of God there to command as his lieutenant he was not as it were lesse then Angels had a spirit to comprehend the greatest wonders of the Deity but by flying from the day and light of knowledge he hid himselfe in the dens and caues of ignorance blockishnes and remained therein all his life long hatching there I know not what miserable ritches was found in the end to become like vnto the bruite beasts for as they neuer neigh bray but after otes and neuer trauell but foâ— pasture euen so this man neuer bestirred him selfe but about the getting of necessarie things for the bodie nay he did worse then so for he could not prouide and vse for the entertayning of him selfe the goods which he so eagerly coueted but became therein farre worse then all the rest of the beasts of the field whose vnruly appetites were satisfied with the vse of those things which they desired 13 O what an infamie and offence are the liues of such kinde of men who are so shamelesly brutished What remayneth then more for them both here in this world and in the world to come but shame in this and payne and torment in the other And besides let them runne on in delighting them selues in their vayne discourses and priding of them selues in their ritches Let them now a little remember the speeches which they haue whereby they seeme to esteeme of none but of them selues and their money making no better accompt of all other men then of the rushes vnder their feet 14 Thus we see how they draw them selues vnto hell eueÌ„ as sheep led to the Shambles death is come who hath deuoured them and nothing left of them but their pitifull bare bones which canker and are worme-eaten in the graue 15 And loe the iust man who patiently endured their insolencie his time is now come to reigne and is at case he is vp by the breake of the day and after hee hath geuen thanks to God he goeth to see if he can finde the place where one of these miserable caytifs dwelt and where he is placed for insulting brauing and tyrannizing of the whole world and sayth a part vnto him selfe Thanked be God for cleansing the earth of such off-scouring and placing such as blesse his name For this wicked churle with all his glorie is become rotten and putrified He is now in torment and there is not one to help him and so let him remayne there hardly for death is a passage for him neuer to returne 16 And as for me ô Lord I right well know that I must dye for the sin of our first parent
the iudgement which therein is denounced and the paines that are prepared for the wicked is it possible that that man will euer haue the heart to deceiue him whome the lawe hath commaunded to loue as him selfe will he by defrauding of his neighbour deceiue his owne soule of that euerlasting blessednesse whereof those men can neuer be partakers who communicate with the father of lying and of lyes For truth commeth from heauen falshood in the daughter of darkenesse All kinds of fiction coulored and counterfeit shewes and all leasings are the craftie deuises of the deuill and he that entertaineth them and vseth them couenanteth with the wicked spirits and maketh himselfe the bondslaue of sin And therefore all our actions should be sincere and faithfull but especially their actions who are in authoritie to gouerne the people and are put in trust to render iustice vnto euery particular man They must not do as the Egiptian Iudges did that ware the image of Iustice about their necks but they must haue it imprinted in the bottome of their hearts and betweene their lips for she alone it is that must direct their iudgements so as neither loue nor hatred must at any hand make the ballance or scales which they hold in their hands leane either one way or other but reason alone must cause the lawe spurne and kick against iniquitie Surely no man can haue a better testimonie vnto his conscience of his election then when as he feeleth himself to take pleasure in dealing iustly and rightuously for whosoeuer he is that loueth iustice is a man of God for the light shineth on the righteous man and vpoÌ„ him that is of an vpright hart The way and path of the iust is like vnto the dawning of the day her light encreaseth by little and little and becommeth like vnto the noonetide The wise man could not more properly compare iustice vnto any thing then vnto the light for as the light shineth not for it selfe but causeth others to see euen so this most excellent sound vertue of it selfe looketh not but vnto the benefit profit of another hauing none other end but by a well willing righteous affection to conioyne entertaine one another of vs. When this vertue is growne vnto a full perfectioÌ„ she straightwayes beginneth to loue may very wel take vnto her that name because that she hauing vnited conioined vs together teacheth vs to accompt our selues to be one anothers flesh as being the members of one body or rather the body of one head leauing in vs a charitable affection which is the souldering sinowing of our bodies together For as we see in the constitution of our persons euery member to be so framed therein as that that which is fardest off moueth it selfe forthwith in affectioÌ„ good liking vnto the rest so as if we haue any paine in our foot by by the eye looketh vnto it straightways we put to the hand in the end bend the whole force of our body to help to do it good Euen so fareth it with the mistical coniunction of the body in the holy coÌ„gregation of the faithfull whereof we are all members and the spirit of God which doth rule and gouerne vs teacheth vs that for our owne conseruation we must needs make one of another and make both our aduersitie and prosperitie common that we might contribute vnto the necessities of one another For our christian righteousnes restraineth not vs only to discharge the ciuile and politick bands which may be amongst vs but also acquiteth this naturall obligation which bindeth one man to another by mutuall good will and loue It remayneth now that this righteousnesse must conioyne vs vnto God and bring forth her most excelleÌ„t effects which kepeth our soule vpright quiet capable of the wil of God and as it were fast tied vnto the loue of euerlasting blisse which is done by the gifts of faith hope For after we haue purged our selues of the peruerse filthy affectioÌ„s which our soul hath gotteÌ„ into her by liuing on erth so blinded our wil as that she caÌ„not returne to ill yet must she go on to her mark guide her self vnto her resting place Now as we are cast downe into the darkenesse of this world into the deserts of sin bottomlesse deapths of perdition we cannot see our end without light nor find our way without a guide ne yet sustaine our selues go forward without stay and our light guide and stay is the reuelation which God hath shewed vnto vs out of his will the knowledge which he hath geuen vnto vs by his grace the spirit by which he communicateth himself with vs and in the end commeth himselfe vnto vs because we are so feeble as that we cannot go vnto him We call faith the sound and right affection whereby wee receiue that which he declareth vnto vs and which we constaÌ„tly beleeue and by which we iudge of him in the goodnes simplicitie of our harts This is it with which we humble our senses and with which we deny our selues to geue credit vnto his truth in acknowledging our infirmitie by which we allow his almightines reuereÌ„ce admire the effects so often reiterated for the reconquering of our saluation deliueraÌ„ce froÌ„ eternall death Now wheÌ„ as our soule hath once found her self disposed to belieue this and receiued this impression froÌ„ the word of God she then cleerly seeth the marke whereat she aimeth knowing thereby the benefit which is set before her she is touched with a certain effectual feeling of pleasure which eggeth her coÌ„tinually forward to wish looke for the saluation which is prepared for her This is that hope by the which she foreseeth the happy hour of her felicitie by which she is kept for the loking for her blessednes vpholden double strengthened against all the griefes and miseries which mâ—ght shake the same and crosse her in the way Here then wee see how we must prepare our soule to make it capable of this felicitie We must now then necessarily see behold by her dealing how she delighteth her self in this most excelleÌ„t pleasure And it is to be considered two maner of wayes the one is that whilst she is clad about with this flesh and detained here in this vile world yet she still ioyneth and vniteth her selfe vnto God her creator by meanes of her pure holy disposition and of her good and charitable works The other is that wheÌ„ she is deliuered despoiled of the earth the world she wholy vniteth her self vnto her first originall being In this first estate we shal see her reioice in such happinesse pleasure contentment as infinitely surpasseth all the other delights which we possibly are able to wish or desire here below And such in very deed as are no way comparable vnto those pleasures which we know to be prepared for vs in the life to
sinnes putrified within my bones and as the vlcers and foule sores of a shamefast diseased man who dareth not shew his disease vnto the Surgion encrease and waxe worse euen to the vtter ouerthrow of the body euen so haue the sinnes which I haue hid from thee mightily infected me 4 But in the end thou hast day and night so heauily laid thy hand vpon me and made me taste of such a number of sorts of miseries amongst which my soâ—…le â—aketh 〈◊〉 rest being ouercome â—ith 〈◊〉 continuall pricking of â—y conscience thâ—… pierceth euen through mine heart that I haue acknowledged my fault which I presently heare vpon â—ine hand Behold and acknowledge this my God but not in thine anger for the dropping teares which with much weeping haue almost put out mine eyes ought also put out thy iustly hoate burning ire And besides am not I the worke of thine owne hands nay am not I rather the very liuely image of thy Deitie And what is he that is so angrie as that he wil bruse or breake the worke which it pleased him so to polish and make perfect when as he seeth it to be foule filthy In very deed I must needs confesse that this image is laden with filthie matter but is it not better to make it cleane and neate then to breake it in peeces and tread it vnder feete 5 Teach me then my God what satisfaction I shall make for I haue now laid open vnto thee all the sinnes which before I had concealed For the feare wherein I was when I hid my selfe from thee is at this present that I haue discouered my selfe vnto thee changed into hope of grace and pardon And now I cast my selfe betweene thine armes as into the most assured defence I haue euen with such a countenance as the poore pacient that sheweth his wound to the Barbar looketh wishly vpon him and couragiouslie suffereth his searching and lancing by reason of the desire and hope that he â—…h to be healed But that which gâ—…th me a greater hope of health is that the sinnes wherein I before tooke pleasure make me now abhor to see them euen as the meaâ—es wherewith a man in health gorgeth himselfe are very lothsome vnto his stomack when he is weake and sickly And that which made me before bold â—…d malepart I am now ashamed of when as I consider the hazard of death whereunto my pride had exposed my poore soule I giue my most hearty thankes for the day wherein I was enlightened to acknowledge my sinne I do acknowledge my God that day to be a singular testimonie of thy goodnesse toward me graunt then that the delight which I haue taken to be displeased with my selfe may likewise continue as long with me as I haue had pleasure to dwell in my sins For if 〈◊〉 take as great pleasure in my repentance as I haue taken in my sinne my felicity shal be without doubt equal with thine angels shall see me in the humiliation of my selfe before thy maiestâ—… ascend to the highest â—op of â—hy 〈◊〉 6 Who doubteth O Lord that thou wilt not receiue me vnto mercy whose mercy and benignitie no tongue is able to expresse nor hart comprehend I did neuer thinke so soone to returne vnto thee as thou wast alwayes ready to offer thy selfe vnto me I did neuer sooner say that I would confesse my sinne but that thou diddest by and by graunt me thy grace I haue no sooner acknowledged the punishment which my sinnes deserued but that thou hast remitted them I haue taken the rods into my hands to scourge my flesh thou hast pluckâ— them out of my hands To be short I thought thou wouldest haue proclaimed open warre against me and thou offeredst mâ— a most charitable peace and reconciliation O Lord how farre readier and more willing art thou to forgiue then to punish Can a good father receiue his child more gratiously that cryeth him mercy then thou hast receiued me when as I haue humbled my selfe at thy feeâ—e my heart also leapeth with ioy and boileth with an holy feruentnesse to praise thy name reâ—…yceth in the grace that thou hast shewed vnto it accusing none but it selfe of that that is past and â—…eth out saying 〈◊〉 is I that haue â—…ed it it is I 〈◊〉 haue done it it is I that haue taken pleasure in it but yet my God hath had mercy vpon me 7 How could he denie me his mercie seeing that the Saints which are the holy men and women liuing haue prayed do pray and will continually pray for me They are they which beseech his maiestie for me and are a meane of his grace fauour towards me What can they O Lord craue at thy hands to greater purpose and obtaine of thee more easily then when they pray for me Alas it is very meet that they should crie call vpon thee for me seeing that the impietie of mine heart hath so blinded my sences by wicked thoughts as that my soule cannot any more lift vp her selfe towardâ— heauen to stretch forth her hand vnto him who alone is both able and willing to saue And therfore what more remameth but that they whom thou vouchsafest to come neare vnto thee by faith and holinesse of life may pray for me vnto thee that thou wouldest haue mercy vpon me As for my selfe who am mine owne capitall enemie I haue neuer had eyther â—kill or yet will to pray vnto thee for my trespasse And therefore I do presently comfort my selfe to see how thou hast opened mine eyes that I may behold what a foule and black conscience I haue and hast mollified mine heart that I might lodge contrition in my soule And although it hath not beene so soone as it ought to haue beene yet it neuer came so late but that thou vouchsafedst to receiue me as thou art wonted to do those that haue not ouerslipped the occasion to repent themselues 8 For they that hasten themselues to sinne and willingly neglect to repent wheÌ„ as they might haue acknowledged their sinnes and haue had the meanes to do it but haue tarried vnto the very end of their liues to crie thee mercy and make their eyes burst out into a deluge of teares it is very dangerous but that they must deceiue themselues and that true repentance can neuer after enter into such hard hearts and their weeping and wailing to be but the â—oâ—…owes of desperate people and thy mercy to shew it selfe deafe vnto their ouer late repentance 9 But as for me I ranne in a blessed time vnto thee as to my refuge and to the end of my hopes and vnto my comfort in the trouble which after that manner hath encompassed me as the feare of death taketh hold on him who is destined vnto a shamefull punishment And therefore I beseech thy maiestie make me taste and feele that pleasure which he feeleth that is deliuered and freed from his bonds or chaines set at libertie out of
prison and deliuered from the punishment wherein his enemy had long time held him â—aptiue And contrariwise that the enemy of my soule shall blush with shame when as he shall see that I shall so deuoutly call vpon the ayde of my good God who with the very winke of his eye is able to deliuer me from the voluntarie bondage which I had vowed vnto damnable voluptuousnesse euen then when I dranke the sweet honie of the delightfull pleasures which she with a deceitfull hand gaue vnto me within this foule and filthie cup of the world 10 Alas when as I remember the time that thou returnedst thy selfe after that sort vnto me and with this mercifull eye of thine gauest me a signe of pardon mercie and saluation me thought verely that I then saw the bright sunne rising vpon the tempests and fell stormes of the sea which by little and little cutting with his beames betweene the clouds brought againe cleare and pleasant weather and calmed the raging and billowing surges And me thinketh I do alwayes heare this sweete and gratious saying when as thou saiest vnto me Feare not for behold my spirit which shall guide thy foote steppes and wayes neither shall he lift â—p his eye aboue thee and thou shalt now marche vnder the conduct of him who bringeth pure and cleane foules into my kingdome of glorie All so soone as I heard these wordes spoken I fixed mine eyes vpon my guide and leader not once looking off no more then a carefull and diligent maister of a shippe easteth his eye aside from the pole or bright shining starre by which he guideth and ordereth the course of his nauigation O my God what rest shall I enioy when as I shall haue walked in the wayes which thou hast taught me to go in euen I my selfe I say who haue troade beside the path which leadeth vnto thine holy tabernacle I was already entred into this thick forrest of the world where all they easily lose themselues who for the enioying of the pleasure of thick queachie shadowie places leaue the day light which should shew them the way For euen by and by the dolefull sight of the night bringeth them together and putteth them foorth as a pray to the wilde beasts who will pluck them in peeces and cruelly deuoure them And thus was I hindered and staied in this labyrinth without hope to haue euer come out of it againe had dest thou not put into my hand the bottom which I must needs winde vp to bring me out of this perilous prison And now loe I am at libertie to serue my God who hath so deliuered me and to present before him his ownâ— pure and cleane image and to vow into his goodnesse so many fauoures wherewith he hath pleased to gratifie me And he hath not onely heard me before all the rest of his creatures granting vnto me the vse of diuine reason but also hath lifted me vp amongst men into an honourable and magnificent throne so as there remaineth nothing vnto my felicitie but to learne to know and after that I had forgot my selfe he enlightened me by his holy light and gaue me time and will to bewaile my sinfull life past and to amend it also for the time to come 11 And therefore my good friends do as I haue done and recouer his fauour in good time for he himselfe calleth you vnto the way of saluation and do not as the melancholike and froward Moyle dooth who kicketh at him that pricketh him to go right foorth because he wanteth both sence knowledge and iudgement 12 And so thereby he hath a bitte put into his mouth and is continually spurred about the flankes After the same sort The Lord at the first summons that he setteth you in his wayes if yee submit not your selues vnto his will he will powre downe vpon you an huge heape of calamities which will make you more wretched and miserable then miserie it selfe 13 Yee right well see how cleerlie the starres shine in the heauens and the sand which rolleth on the sea shore howbeit there is not so much sand in the sea nor so many starres in the skies as the obstinate shall endure plagues and punishments Their cursednesse hangeth ouer their heads their miseries follow them at their heeles euen vntill such time as that they are cast downe headlong into that gulfe the thinking whereof dooth terrifie whom soeuer remembreth it and whose pleasantest resting places are full of weeping crying howling and groaning where the paine is without end the dolour without remedie and the repentance without mercie where death is immortall the body liueth but to die and the soule but to suffer where the soule feeleth nothing but her sinne and the body nothing but his paine But contrariwise they that couer themselues vnder the grace and fauour of the Lord Iesus which make his mercy their shield and buckler hope in nothing but in his gratious goodnesse follow his commaundements and precepts and are iealious of his will what felicitie and happinesse is there which they shall not attaine vnto Nay what is there in heauen neuer so good and pretious that is not opened vnto them They shall sit cheeke by cheeke with their God and being all encompassed with glory shall be filled and heaped vp with so many blessings as that the heart of man can no way possiblie be able to conceiue the least part of them so farre of is it then as that my babbling tongue cannot possiblie expresse the wonderfulnesse of them 14 I will therefore reioyce my God in carefully waiting and looking for the manifold benefits which thou reseruest in heauen to crowne the righteous withall Vnto this cheerfulnesse do I inuite al those whom thou hast sworne in the word of Sauiour which louest the law of his righteousnesse This is it that attendeth the recompence of your trauels This is it wherein you shall be placed in honour and glorie This is it that shall change the sharpe thorne of the world into the flourishing and beautifull Lillie of all eternitie Oh then shall the dropping and painfull sweating of your afflictions finde most gratious rest The golde commeth not out of the fierie furnace more pure nor brighter to be cast to make the image of some great Prince and afterward to be set vp as an ornament in some rich closet then the heart of him that loueth his God he will draw him pure and cleane out of the miseries of the world and compasse him with brightnesse and glorie What is there now in the world that I shall like of What shall staie and let me from entring into the house of the Lord to liue to serue him What day of my life shall I cease to bewaile my sinnes which haue so farre estranged me from his grace And therefore I humblie beseech thee my God to reconcile these two contrary passions in me repentance and ioye to the end that as the poore traueller wandring in the deserts out
of his way is glad when he seeth the dawning of the day peepe and yet cannot forget the great darkenesse out of which he is but newly gotten ne yet cast of the feare which he had of so tedious a night Euen so also haue I a continuuall horror of my sinnes past and yet a sure and ioyfull hope of enioying that euerlasting blessednesse which thou hast purchased for vs with the bloud of thy dearely beloued sonne Christ Iesus O Lorde what a loue is that when as a maister dooth not spare the life of his owne onely sonne to redeeme his slaue Wherefore O most louing Sauiour seeing that I being formed with thine owne hands bought with thy bloud and purified by thy mercie I do here offer my selfe an obedient sacrifice vnto thee my God and Sauiour and therefore reiect me not Lord in thy wrath reprooue me not Psalm 37. I Must O Lord returne vnto thee and beginne againe to call vpon thee and to beseech thee of thy mercy For it seemeth to me that thine anger is rekindled against me Alas my God wilt thou chastise me in thine anger and make me feele the violence of thy iust furie which my sinnes haue prouoked thee to do The flame being consumed by the fire falleth into ashes and I being deuoured with the heate of thine anger do so vanish away as that there remaineth not so much as the smoake 2 For I see my God that thou hast discharged the sharpest arrowes of thy vengeance against me thou hast touched me with thine hand and neuer takest away the same from me I feele the gnawing and terror of my conscience which astonish and bruse me eueÌ„ as it were thunder and lightning my miseries came vpon me one after another and one mischiefe presseth another warre is no sooner finished but that the plague assaulteth me and in the end death bereaueth me of the dearest pawnes I haue in this world Wherein then shall I take comfort my God shall it be in my selfe 3 Out alas my good God I haue neuer an whole member in me for my misery is entred euen into the marrow neither is there any part of me that reprocheth me not with my sinne and for the which I am not pained I languish in my griefe and there is none to comfort me mine eyes serue me for none other purpose but to looke vpon my miserie and my soule for nothing else but to acknowledge my cursednesse 4 I looke round about me and so farre as the eyes of my body and eyes of my soule can discerne what is past I see nothing either aboue me or below me or yet on any side of me but sinne which inuironeth me round about and mine iniquities which presse and ouerthrowe me They lyâ— heaped vpon my head as a very heauy burden and loe how ready they are to throttle and strangle me 5 How shall I be euer able to resist them What strength haue I to defend me from them seeing that my body is ready to fall in peeces The very filthinesse of them flowe on euery side me my vlcers and sores are no sooner closed vp but that they breake out againe and if my body be ill can my soule be well Must not she be altogether ashamed and tremble with horror and feare 6 After the same maner that a disease vndermineth my body maketh it stoope to death sorrow vndermineth my soule bereaueth her of her strength and as great cold congealeth in the bud the tender blossom withereth drieth it vp euen so dooth the finger of the Lord which hath touched my soule cause it to languish and to be out of heart 7 But alas my God what courage can I haue when as I see my selfe thus couered ouer with wounds and no part of my body free from paine and euer and besides this my miserie the rememberance of my dissolute pleasures is still before my face and reproch me with my sinne laugh at my vanitie Then say I thus vnto my selfe must I season my life with the honie of so many delights and afterward kneade them with the gall of so bitter anguishes Where now art thou ô thou deceitfull voluptuousnesse which drownest my soule in the sweet licour of thy pleasures Oh what drinke is that that thou leauest me 8 Haue not I ô Lord endured enough hath not mine humilitie sufficiently chastized mine arrogancie If I haue through fond presumption sinned alas I haue sithence that crepe vpon the earth I haue couered mine head with ashes and with mine arme haue I preuented my payne I haue cut through mine heart with crying out I haue drowned mine eyes in teares and yet thine anger continueth still 9 Is it of set purpose ô Lord that thou hast not perceiued my teares It is thou I say who with the twinkle of â—hine eye trauersest both heauen and earth euen thou I meane whose sight goeth beyond the depth of our harts It is thou ô Lord that hast read euen my very thoughts and knowne mine intent What haue I desired but thy mercie Wherin haue I trusted but in thy goodnes Why haue I made open profession of repentance but to condemne my selfe If my toong hath not throughly expressed my minde and caused my desier to be vnderstood alas ô Lord thou knowest what we would haue before we once thinke of it It is enough for vs to lift vp our harts vnto thee and thou forthwith grauntest our petitions 10 Why stayest thou ô Lord so long before thou geuest me that holie coÌ„solation which thou hast promised me I am quite spent my hart is gone my senses are trouble my streÌ„gth faileth my sight waxeth dim my soule is vpoÌ„ the shore of my lips ready to fly away 11 All my friends are now about me bewailing my death they are out of all hope of my health they dreame of nothing but of my funerall saying where is now that help which he looked for to come froÌ„ his God where is his fauour which he so promised to himselfe 12 The flatterers are gon away from me they thought to haue parted my goods they meant to haue preuented my fatall houre I am noisome to the whole world in the case that I now staÌ„d 13 They whisper in mine eare and tell me a thousand tales They dayly bring me in new acquaintances and thinke of nothing but to betray me He lieth say they on his death-bed and will neuer rise vp aliue againe What do we feare that the shadowe of his bones will bite vs 14 And I as if I had bin deafe made shew that I heard them not and as if I had bin dumb spake not one word vnto them for my patieÌ„ce was my buckler and my constancy my rampart 15 And euery man seing me so patieÌ„t said surely this man is dumb for when he is touched he saith not a word would he abide all these indignities if he had any feeling of his honor and credit or yet the least
from the rocks of this world which on euerie side threaten my soule with wracke And as the Marriner when he is come to the hauen crowneth the maste of his Ship with floures in token that he is in safetie euen so O Lord crowne thou me with the pretious gifts of thine holie Spirit as pawnes of thy euerlasting blessednesse which thou hast promised me With the gifts I say of that Spirit of thine which reigneth amongst thy faithfull which distributeth faith vnto thine elect loue vnto thy best beloued and hope vnto those whome thou hast predestinate to euerlasting life 13 Now all the while that my soule resteth thus banished looking still to be called home agayne vnto thee I will teach the wicked to walke in the way that may best please thee and set them also in it for feare they hurt not them-selues in the darkenesses of this world against the stumbling blocks which they may suddainely light vppon lying before them And so they will beleeue me and returne vnto thee ô Father of lights and with all their hearts embrace thy faith and walke in thine obedience 14 I know O Lord that there will be some such found as will stop their eares at my words and will obstinatly continue in their sinnes coniure my death and defile their barbarous crueltie with my bloud O my God deliuer me out of their hands and reserue me to declare thy righteousnes and to pronounce their condemnation I will foretell them their miseries and they shall feele them and I shall no sooner hold my peace but that thy hand shall be vppon them and thy hand shall no sooner haue stricken them but that they shall be broken to fitters and be vtterly destroyed 15 And then thou shalt open my lips and my mouth shall set forth thy victorie for the ayre shall be still the winds shall be calme and the flouds shall be quiet to hearken vnto my resounding voyce which shall sing out the wonders of the eternall God For thy prayse ô Lord shall be the sacrifice that I will alwayes offer vp vnto thee and which thou also wilt euer haue good liking of 16 I would gladly haue embrued their Aulters with the bloud of a great number of cattell I would gladly haue cut the throats of a thousand oxen and of a thousand lambs to haue done thee honor but bloud stinketh in thy nostrels neither takest thou pleasure in the flesh of beasts The smoke of such offerings the winds carrie away so as they neuer ascend vnto thee But the voyce onely of a iust man passeth aboue the heauens and the Angelles present the same before thee 17 O what an acceptable sacrifice before thee is a broken and contrite heart and an humble heart that acknowledgeth his sinne thou wilt neuer reiect for if it will come vp vnto thee it must first come downe and if it will touch the heauen it must first crawle vppon the ground if it will haue thee to heare it it must fyrst be silent and if it will be crowned in thy kingdome it must fyrst be beaten and scourged in the world These are the Sacrifices O Lord wherewith wee must he reconciled vnto thee and enter into couenant as thou hast set it downe vnto vs. 18 But if it be thy pleasure ô Lord that we shall offer bulls and bullocks vnto thee and perfume thine Aulters with the bloud of beasts if thou wilt that we by the death of an innocent burnt offering should represent vnto thee the death and innocencie of him whome thou hast destined to redeeme our soules If the figure of that which should come in the person of the vnspotted lambe doth please thee by the killing of Weathers and Sheepe looke then with pitie vppon thy poore people comfort thou desolate Syon and encourage her poore enhabitants to the end they may set vp againe the walls of thine holie Citie and reedifie thy Temple not according to that equall proportion O Lord which thou deseruest but according to the wealth and industrie that the poore world can possibly affoord 19 Thither shall come from all parts thy faithfull in great multitudes to offer vp sacrifice vnto thee and there shall the expiation and purging of their sinnes be acceptable vnto thee But it shall neither be the death of beasts that shall wash away their spots for the cleansing of their disobedience and preuarication was prepared from all eternitie This is an inestimable sacrifice a burnt offering without spot which shall drawe away the curtayne disperse and destroy the darkenesses breake downe the wall or hedge that we may see the truth of our saluation face to face make the beames of his diuine mercie shine vpon vs and reassociate vs vnto the communion of that euerlasting blisse which we willingly haue renounced O most mercifull God which hast vnseeled the eyes of mine vnderstanding to see the misterie of my saluation make me O Lord to taste the excellent fruite which flourishing vppon the tree of the Crosse shall with the iuice thereof quicken and geue life vnto our dead soules preserue and warrant vs for euer from that ruine and calamitie which hath so miserably brought together the race of mankinde and ouerflowed them through their disobedience Lord heare my Prayer Psalme 102. I Haue ô Lord cryed and called vppon thee a long time for thy mercie and do yet looke for ayd and help from thee The ayre is filled with my cryes The winds haue carried the voyce of my dolor and griefe euen vnto the vttermost parts of the world and thine eare which heareth and vnderstandeth whatsoeuer is done in the bottomlesse pit of hell doth not yet heare and vnderstand my prayer which reacheth and beateth the very heauens Wilt thou therefore be deafe only vnto me and shall all the world heare me saue thy selfe alone No no my God thou hast oueâ—-long stretched out thine armes now to reiect mee when as I come vnto thee for refuge 2 And now that I feele a thousand and a thousand sorrowes and that miseries assayle me on euery side do not turne thy backe vpon me ô Lord. Alas haue I setled my whole power and strength vpon the sweet countenance of thy face Haue I diuorced my selfe from the world to the end I might drawe neere vnto thee and haue I forsaken the children of the world that I might ioyne my self vnto the master of the heauens and wouldest thou now forsake me O Lord deale not so with me but assist mine infirmitie all the dayes of my life 3 Let my voyce no sooner cry and call vnto thee my God but that I may also soone feele thee and let thy grace descend as speedely vppon me as an Eagle hasteth her selfe to ayd her yong on s For if thou assist me not what maner of fight shall I be able to make against the enemies of my soule 4 My strength and life would dayly vanish away as the light smoke doth in flying in the ayre for the
hath bound vs to pay that debt it is the reward for his disobedience we must go againe into the earth and returne from whence we came Neuerthelesse ô Lord thou shalt redeeme me from death and deliuer me from the hand of hell when it would lay hold on me Thou wilt not suffer me to go downe all below but wilt deliuer me eueÌ„ at the very mouth thereof and be contented that I acknowledge it without suffering the punishment of my deserued thraldome and captiuitie But what shall be the price of my redemption shall it be the goods and possessions of the earth and the aboundance of gold and siluer No ô Lord for hell is full thereof it maketh no reckning of this geare for thou thy selfe shalt be the price of my redemption thou shalt deliuer thine owne body to death that my soule might be deliuered from hell Thou shalt put vpon thee and cloth thee with the dolors of the dead that I might be clothed with the ioyes of immortalitie And therefore I will not from henceforth my God haue any other ritches but thee and in possessing thee I shall possesse the whole world and in louing thee I shall be in thee thou in mee and thou being there shalt bring thither all the goods strength and glorie of the world and fill me full with other manner of ritches then the ritches of these miserable carles which will not acknowledge thee for their ritches are but the fruite of their sinne which shall perish with their sinne 17 No maÌ„ ought to be abashed to see them all at once suddainly enriched ne yet to esteeme theÌ„ to be any whit the happier therby for although the false honor which they so greedily hunt after exceedeth excelleth and are filled with this vaine and vanishing glorie which carieth with it but a glorious glittering outward shew yet must we not be in an admiration thereat much lesse enuie the same 18 For although they shall at any time haue kissed the earth and put on the round compasse thereof yet shall they carry away nothing of it with theÌ„ saue their winding sheet nothing shall follow them but their shadow and yet I beleeue that it will also leaue them for the very selfe-same day which maketh the shadow will forsake them and they shall want the ordinary light and in stead of these magnificeÌ„ces pomps and swelling ostentations wherewith they make little children afeard shall wrap them vp in sorrow griefe dolor anguish pouertie and miserie and cast them into Mercuries heape 19 And is it not great reason that it should be thus for they haue taken their pleasures here in this life and haue had their felicitie in this world and whatsoeuer they haue desired hath falne vnto them goods haue come rolling in by heapes vnto them the felicitie of their greatnesse was a burden vnto them they esteemed of none but of such as did help to enrich them neither loued they any but such as gaue them and made much of none saue of those that encreased their reuenues They are like to those meÌ„ who because they would haue a great stock sell the proprietie of their goods vnto others they dye leauing nothing behinde for the world to come hauing made no prouision for any goods that are there in request but content them selues with the goods that serue for this earthlie life which being ended they are left verie poore They haue desired honor but a vaine and slipperie honor which hangeth and resteth but vpon the opinion of fooles they had it but they could not tell well how to keepe it They would gladly haue sit vppon the top of the wheel that being turned about they are now downe in the bottome thereof but blessed and happy are they which can keepe them sure and immoueable vpon the scaffold and see them selues safe both aboue and below 20 But these miserable caytifes haue done nothing so for they haue made the leape them selues they haue voluntarily climbed vp to the steepest place from whence they haue bene cast downe backward euen vnto hell they are at this day in the number of their forefathers there haue they found their Auncesters from whome they receyued their birth and conditions they were imitators of theyr sinnes and when they are dead they shall be also partakers of their punishment for when repentance commeth too late they then learne but out of season what it is to lift them selues vp against God and oppose them selues vnto his glorie then they learne what it is to afflict the iust to oppresse the poore and to scorne the afflicted They are confined in the darke and the light geueth no more sight vnto their eyes They heare nothing but horror and gnashing of teeth they breath out nothing but sighes and groanes and they neuer stirre but with trembling and fretting 21 When these poore senselesse people were in honor they could not vnderstand it but became like vnto brute beasts which haue neyther sense nor iudgement But yet alasse they are farre vnlike for death in bereauing the beasts of their liues taketh from them aswell the feeling of their paine as of their pleasure but as for these poore fooles who would neuer vnderstand wherein their chiefe blessednes consisted but closed vp their eyes against the eternall light and stopped their eares against the spirituall word shall haue their sense as an argument or subiect of torments and their spirit shall liue continually to conceiue and eternally to languish their miseries O how good is God c. Psalme 73. 1 O How grâ—…t is the goodnes of our God and how assured is his helpe vnto all those that wait vpon him Vnto those I say who haue neuer turned away their thoughts from his iustice and mercie and who hauing the eyes of their soules alwayes fixed vpon his prouidence neuer gaue ouer the hope which they should haue in his grace And how greatly blessed are they whome the sundry ill haps of this world could neuer shake that constant assurance which they ought to haue of Gods righteousnesse O how greatly I say is the constancie of such men to be commended 2 For to say truly my foot oftentimes began to slip in the way and I glided oftentimes as it were euen readie to fall to the ground Much like vnto them that climbe vp a steepe thornie hill who so soone as they feele the briers and brambles begin to prick and raunch them or rub off the skinne against any flint stone lay hold with theyr hands for verie griefe vpon the crampons and rests which help them to climbe vp and then forthwith tumble quite cleane downe if they be not the sooner stayed Euen so my God whilst I would vnderstaÌ„d the iudgemeÌ„ts of thy works behold how thou dispensest thy graces as one pricked wounded to see the wicked prosper I make many false steps strides and am ready to fal into this steep breakeneck of not belieuing thy wisedome and
honor her began forthwith to disdaine and looke sourely vpoÌ„ her For her shame lay opeÌ„ vnto the eyes of al the world was set before euery man as a laughing stocke some asking her what was become of all her wealth some what was become of all her honor and there was neuer an honest womaÌ„s child which had not a gird at her In so much that she could do nothing else but weepe and being all ashamed and comfortlesse she was driuen to goe hide her selfe Thet. And wheÌ„ she saw her self alone and in what estate she stood she found her self from the crowne of the head to the sole of the foot to be most filthie and her garmeÌ„ts to be most beastly berayed with bloud and mire And as the Peacock when he hath spread abroad his tayle in looking at his feet letteth it fall downe agayne abating thereby his pride euen so hath she plucked downe 〈◊〉 heart sorrowed within her selfe and cared no whit for death by reason that all things misliked her but chiefly and aboue all her poore and miserable life She was giuen to be altogether sad without hauing any bodie to comfort her For her friends had forsaken her or if they were neere about her it was to none other end but to afflict her Wherefore when as she found no help here vpon earth she lamentably lifted vp her head vnto heauen with deep sighes froÌ„ the bottome of her hart addressed herselfe vnto God and sayd O Lord hast thou not compassion vppon me in this my great affliction Seest thou not mine extreame miserie Surely there is none can saue me so well as thy selfe Come therefore if thou be the God of mercy and forsake not thine humble and old seruant for mine enemy setteth his foote vpon my throate and causeth me most shamefully to belch Come therefore ô Lord for my continuall iniury is thy shame and the outrage that is done vnto a seruant redoundeth to the mayster And therefore come ô Lord for mine enemy â—…geth me beyond all measure and without all pitie Iod. He hath layd his bloudy hand vpon that which I accompted most deere and spared no whit of that which I made reckning off to be most holy Thou hast seene him enter into thy Sanctuary and into that place which ought to haue receyued none but sanctified persons no none but pure and cleane soules and such as are worthie to be partakers of the beholding of thy diuine maiestie hath seene receyued and touched euen pollution and impietie it selfe and seene his sacrilegious hands steale away the ornaments of thy Temple destroyed the habitation of thy deitie and the abiding place of thy grace as if thy lawes and prohibitions forbidding them not to abide and carry in that place no nor once to enter thereinto had bene but as it were a very song Where wert thou then ô Lord and although thou carest not for the iniuries which we haue receyued why art thou not yet reuenged of the wrongs done vnto thy selfe Caph. Thou hast bene ô Lord very angry against poore Ierusalem and hast sayd that thou haddest no will to come to help it by reason of the great and manifold offences thereof It is now time ô Lord or else neuer for all her miserable inhabitants goe shamefully a begging for their liuing and haue geuen whatsoeuer good thing they haue for a mouth full of bread and bought full dearely the water which they haue dronke Forsake not ô Lord this our earnest prayer and turne a-little thine eyes of mercy vpon vs for if our pride hath heretofore estranged vs fom thee our humilitie shall now reconcile vs vnto thee There can be now nothing ô Lord to be seene so humble vile and abiect as we are nor there is nothing that hath more need of thee then we haue neyther can there be any thing found to be more pitifull then thy selfe Lamed Tell me I beseech ye you that passe by and see my ruines and do consider the remayne of my greatnesse and then tell me if there be any thing in the whole world so miserable as it is and that euer sithence you haue had eyes that euer you sawe any dolor like vnto mine Tell me I pray you if euer ye were able to keepe your eyes from shedding of teares whensoeuer ye beheld my desolation I speake vnto you I say which haue heretofore seene this Citie so wonderfully furnished with welth ritches her greatnes magnificeÌ„ce do now behold her moÌ„strous spoile do ye not thinke that you see a vineyard laid wide open whereinto all sorts of beasts are entred who haue not only spoiled the vintage of the grape but haue also broken downe the hedges pluckt in sunder the very armes of the vines And this ye see is the pleasure of God he is iustly angry with me hath determined to visit me in his fury Mem. His vengeance is come downe from heauen like lightning it is come to thunder and lighten vpon me and is entred into the very marrow of my bones nothing can be seene to be done more suddainely more earnestly or more powerfully For in a moment it is come ouerthrowne all in a moment and all in a minute shaken into fitters pieces For my Temples and my Castles which reached vnto the clowdes lye now euen with the grouÌ„d Our Cities are like vnto plaine heathes wheron you may driue Carts God hath made me right well know to my cost his power and might He hath made me heare an horrible lesson We thought by our wisedomes to haue bene able to withstand the blow of his iustice howbeit there is neither wisedome nor councell against God We haue bene entrapped on euery side For wheÌ„ we thought to come out and to be in safetie we were fast intangled in his nets and the more haste we made to get out the faster were we masshed in the end were cast downe headlong into that punishment which he had prepared for vs like vnto the mariner who thinking to escape a shelf or flat falleth into a gulfe which swalloweth him vp For our misery is in deed a very gulfe where our fight is taken away and we brought back into an inaccessible wildernes where there is none to comfort vs in so much as that our eyes neuer geuing ouer weeping are able inough to drowne vs in our owne teares Nun. I neuer ô Lord looked to escape it for thou hast too too long had an eye vnto my sinnes and hast determined of the punishment which I should suffer it is ouer long ago since thou didst couple my sinnes together and holdest them fast linked within the hand of thy iustice In the end I found my selfe all at once oppressed and felt my sinnes as an hard and insupportable yoke tye me fast to be tormented I yelded my neck vnto the punishment as an oxe vnto the yoke vnder the hand of an vnmercifull master My misery gaue me no rest nor intermission so long
the hand of thy iustice which would swallow me vp Thou shalt turne away the dart of death whose point hath pierced me euen to the very hart Thou shalt lengthen the course of my yeares which my sinne hath already shortened And thou shalt bee contented that thou hast reprooued me without vtterly vndoing me and made me to acknowledge and confesse my sinnes with punishing me for the same 12 And although I thinke my selfe blessed and as it were in most excel-cellent peace yet do I vse nay rather abuse the blessings and riches which thou hast lent and vouchsafed mee yea and although I say I should be drunken with the hony sweet pleasures of this world yet loe a store of affliction and misery is betide me which as a most bitter brooks is come vpon me to drowne me and swallow me vp But as I was about to giue vp the ghost I felt thee taking me by the hand and by a wonderfull helpe drewest me by little and little out of that fearefull gulfe O Lorde the weight that sunke me to the bottome was the waight of my sinnes They lay so thick and heauie on my head and held me so to the ground as that I knew not how to lift vp mine eyes vnto heauen much lesse was I able to hold vp my head and open my mouth to vtter and shew forth thy holy grace and mercy Thou hast broken the chaines of the wicked affections which held me bound vnto these cursed sinnes And neuerthelesse because they are euer before thine eyes and that my repentance in some measure coniureth thy goodnesse and mine iniquity sharpeneth thy iustice yet hast thou cast all mine offences behinde thy back and turned them all away from thy presence to the end there might be nothing betweene me and thy mercy to hinder me from being enuironed by the same as mine only and assured defence But how can this be ô Lord that thou who seest all things both present to come which seest through the earth and piercest the bottomes of our hearts that in regard of me alone ô Lord thou becommest blinde and seest not my sâ—…nes which enuiron me round about O how wonderfull great is thy mercy which blindfoldeth the eyes of thy Deitie which hideth from thee that euery one seeth and maketh thee forget that which thou knewest before such time as it was done 13 From whence ô Lord commeth this great change and alteration in thee whence commeth it that to do me fauour thou puttest so farre from thee thy iustice which is naturally in thee I wonder but yet cannot I tell from whence this thy so great clemency and louing kindnesse proceedeth It is yea it is ô Lord because thou wilt saue vs whether we wil or no and to draw vs as it were by force out of that condemnation which we most iustly haue deserued For thou art the God of glory iealous of honour and praise for thou art alone worthy therof Thou knowest right well that very hell shall praise thee and thou knowest also ô Lord that death it selfe shall set forth thy praise Seeing that thou hast created all things to testifie thine infinite goodnesse and power shall death which is one of thy works make an end of thy praise Yea and seeing thou hast here placed man to lift vp his eyes vnto heauen and to behold thy glory and to sing both with the heart and mouth a continuall hymne therof and if thou take away his life is not that a breache of one of the organes of thine honour And if thou send him to hell is not that to defame thy workmanship Thou hast ô Lord sowne by the mouthes of thy Prophets the truth of thy promises Shall they that are pent vp in the earth gather together the fruite thereof shall they whome the death of the body hath closed vp the eye liddes and whome the death of the soule engendred through their impenitence hath sealed vp the eyes of the spirit making them go groping to hell wandring and stumbling from paine to paine and from torment to torment No no it shall be the liuing man that shall publish and set forth thy praise the man I say that liueth and that liuing life which is maintained by those blessings which thou bestowest vpon vs here on the earth and that life which is nourished by the beholding of thy Deitie and by the blessings which thou hast laide vppe in heauen Euen so O Lorde do I at this day with them seeing it hath pleased thee to conuert my miseries into grace and blessing and to turne away from me death and dolors which brought them vnto mee Mine infirmitie is at this day seeing it so pleaseth thee an argument of thy glory thou workest such miracles in me as are able to astonish an whole world To the end ô Lord that the fathers may tell vnto their children what the effects of thy mercies are how sure the effect of thy promises and how vndoubted the truth of thy word And so whensoeuer the last and hindermost posteritie shall vnderstand what hath be fallen vnto my person it will praise and blesse thy holy name 15 Seeing then my God that thou hast assured me this life I meane this earthly and corporall life graunt me also assurance of this heauenly and diuine life to the end that I being most full of all hope and strength may passe the rest of my daies in praising and seruing of thee continually Mine aboade ô Lorde shall be alwaies at the feete of thine aulters mine action shall bee a song of thy praise and goodnesse and so will goe day and night into thy church lifting 〈…〉 eyes vnto thee and hauing my thoughts fixed on thee I will open â—ine heart and thou shalt fill it with thy grace that it may sanctifie all mine affections and so 〈◊〉 thereby may set forth nothing more then thy glory FINIS