joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerfull Enemies and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on Earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the door of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfeigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choice above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more than all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our Delight End and Aim must be to delight him that is by walking well-pleasing unto him all the days of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be carefull and heedfull to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintain us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustain us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will fail us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of Men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would reign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns as he did here 129. He that would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinfull bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judge to acquit him there must judge and condemn himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christ's flock and be of his Fold and of his Sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after Holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to dye their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well-doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a Person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness always dwell within me that Heaven may be always within me and that I may be always in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven
love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy yea thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be divorc'd from one which they hate beyond and more than any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly than any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are divorc'd from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more than all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodies Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessedness in Heaven for 273. There are no joys like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness and righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c. And that where sin hath abounded graâ—â— shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is opposite capital and grand Enemy to holiness as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell aâ—d sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holiness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor fly from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him yea so far as it will never be nearer him than it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and shall be never nearer him than it is he knoweth he shall ever live thus that is be thus ever with God in God and see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is to possess him for ever and for ever 280. Thus then holiness and sin are Opposites and Enemies but holiness destroys sin as light doth darkness this eternal darkness of sin must vanish when this eternal everlasting light of holiness doth appear thus is it conquered and overcome because holiness is from God and sin from the Devil holiness from the Creator sin from the Creature holiness had never beginning nor shall never have end sin had a beginning and therefore not from the beginning the Devil then brought sin into the World but God who is holiness was so before time before that ever the World or the Devil was sin then is the lesser being from the Creature the worser being from the Devil holiness the greater being from the Creator the better being and proceeding from him that is all good and giveth all good to all to make them good all yea all good as himself for all the good that is in all the Creatures in Heaven and oâ— earth is from his good he filleth them all but emptyeth not himself at all he is still the same still full yea so full still as he overfloweth still into them from his own fullness and they though filled full yet do they still receive from his fulness without having in them any emptiness being always full from the very beginning that they are with him and yet are they continually receiving as if they were as well emptyed as filled thus doth our good gracious loving and merciful God satisfie us and resatiate us every moment giving us what we ask not what we want not what we know not and though he doth thus increase his blessings by blessing us yet doth he not suffer them to decrease in us when given us but we retain all hold fast all keep all rejoyce in all and give
hath done it with the word of his power with his own voice who is that blessed Arch-Angel of the Covenant of peace and reconciliation 59. When I shall find that sin is thus rooted up in me by the roots then will I say that the Lords hand hath done it for I know that none but the Lord himself can do such wonders and work wonderfully thus 60. When I shall find that sin is destroyed in me then will I say that the Lord hath visited me graciously that he hath spoken peace to my poor soul and revived it and refreshed it then may I say he hath been with me of a truth and not regarded the low estate of his poor Servant 61. When I shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gracious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Cross for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possess thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers raign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and for ever mayest be my God ever over all and bless me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thou in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and lye down on our beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possess and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eye see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men teach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own teachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee than to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as dross to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is untill we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our days so are we not at all able to tell what God is unless he tell us nor to hear him unless he open our hearts and give us understanding nor comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voice we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joys are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happiness and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darkness Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls dross to gold darkness to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favorite O God who art King of kings and Lord of lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce always with unspeakable joy yea that my joys may be full 80. Let mâ— O Lord rejoyce much more
of my natural darkness which is darker than the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter than the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Laws and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fill me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us that Gal. 3. 27. makes us Christians which is to be like Christ to be Baptized in him to have put him on and this oneness with Christ God is in all the Saints all the Saints are thus one in God with Christ he in us and we in him MEDITATIONS ON DEATH HOW It appears to the Godly and to the Wicked after a great Sickness ALL happiness is in Christ and in possessing of him and there is no true happiness out of Christ All the whole world is much too little and too low to be compared to Christ and to the living in him Though he should want bread to eat and Cloaths to put on Christ I am sure alone will satisfie and truly please and content any man A naked Christ a poor Christ that is a Christ that shall bring nakedness and if as with Job Poverty and uncomliness he will be to a Soul that truly knows him the fairest of ten thousand without spot or wrinkle the only fair and beautiful the only desirable the whole and only desires the riches honour treasure and pleasure of all souls that truly know him A soul that truly knows Christ cannot live as he would without a farther knowledge of him living in him to have Communion and fellowship with him which is of more value to him and he prizeth it more than ten thousand worlds and lives Christ being above all things and more than all things much by much A Christians last hour is his best hour the hour of his Death is the best hour of all his life yea that hour is the true beginning of life for Death sin and Hell are swallowed up into Victory and the Devil totally and finally overcome Death is advantagious unto a Christian divers wayes when he dyes then he begins to live in the Lord who is the Lord of life and glory then he shall in a very great measure know feel and see the unspeakable love of God to him but I conceive not altogether so as it is in God that shall even surpass our knowledge there for we shall be swallowed up into it and be filled with it it shall contain us but we shall not be able to contain it and there shall we have continual and perfect love to love God perfectly and continually even as he would have us to love him which is the continual fulfilling the whole Law and which will make us of all things most like himself for God is love and surely it is the most lovely grace of all graces both on earth as well as in Heaven and so through grace I have found it Ah let us never then pray against Death which brings us these and a thousand more Heavenly advantages but rather be prepared to meet it with joy and embrace it as our best friend next to Christ Ah how sweet is Death even almost as Heaven to that soul that is housed in God and hath his peace made sure with him Death to such a soul is much better than any life Ah how sweet is Death to that soul that knows Heaven is prepared for him and finds and feels himself prepared for Heaven and sees his Saviour with his blessed arms spread abroad to welcome and embrace him and his glorious head bowed down to kiss him and he nigh him to receive him into his Everlasting Habitation of rest joy and peace Death at the worst is but a sweet sleep to the body to him that dyes in the Lord for he rests from all his labours but it is life to the soul and it shall ever live in and with the Lord of life and Glory I am sure to a good Christian that is such a one as is in some measure like Christ that lives and walks and doth as far as he is able as Christ did when he was here in the flesh the thoughts of death and its being not far off bring him the most joy next to the Glory of God and his interest in him by Christ Ah how sweet is death to that soul that knows himself to be long since dead to all sin Death is sweet to all such souls because he be-friends them so much as in a moment to house them in the blessed arms of their blessed Redeemer Christ Jesus Death is sweet to them that are in Christ because he carries them in a moment to live in his presence for ever and for ever and to enjoy him as he is to be enjoyed and to be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious Death is to all that are in Christ as Elijah's Chariot of fire which purifies them and expels all the remainder of Corruption that is within them that is by death all evil is done away we are no more capable of sin by death death is destroyed and life appears But Death to the wicked is the Devils Chariot sent from Hell to bring them quickly there as Jehu's Chariot it drives them furiously thither from whence none is able to deliver Death to the Godly is a Consuming fire to all their sins they shall not ever more be seen or remembred but it is a fire as from Gods Altar to purifie their graces and to make them shine more radiant than the Sun after death they shall in a moment be made perfectly pure and purely perfect and ever so abide But Death to the Wicked is that fire of Hell that shall consume all the good that ever they did so as it shall not nor cannot be seen nor remembred but it will make all the evil that ever they committed either in thought word or deed to be ever before the eyes of God and all the blessed in Heaven and before the Devils and all the damned and their own as if writ with a beam of the Sun Death to those that are in Christ brings them to hear that sweet and ever blessed voice of Christ himself come ye blessed inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from all Eternity and well done good and faithfulâ— Servant enter thou into the joy of thy Lord. But death to the Wicked will bring them in a moment for ever to hear that most doleful voice from the mouth of Christ go ye cursed with whom with the Devil and his Angels into everlasting burning into that fire that cannot be quenched which
that I fare deliciously and am â—ayed more gloriously then if I were with â—rple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wagâ— I desire and which will and shall ever coâ—tent me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that thoâ— hast given me a heart to be willing to paâ— from all things most willingly so I mighâ— part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt â— God do but only leave me thy self in poâ—session 86. All good thoughts come in love â— God from thee to me but woe me mâ—serable me for that all evil thoughts comâ— from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and aâ— my thoughts such that I may be only sucâ— and always such as thou would'st have nâ— to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and reign bâ— thy power and might in me that the mighâ— power and reign of Sin may be cast out me 89. Let not the things of the Worlâ— put thee O Lord out of my mind nor sâ— out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and powâ— to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts aâ— affections out of my heart that there be place for thee and thee only to dwell iâ— my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the â—orlds gifts without thee my Sâ—viour as â—e Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever beâ—eve and esteem my best duties and perforâ—ances as from my self to deserve noâ—ing but shame and confusion being but as â—lthy rags and a menstrous cloath and â—at I am less and less worth at the best then â—e least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can â—ash me nothing but thy death could satisâ—ie for me nothing but thy resurrection can â—aise me and nothing but thy living can â—hake me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony â—nd the hony-comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which â—re but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of â—he world and hate it then all the world â—nd love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more afraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health the of sicknesâ— and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will fear neither for I know thaâ— that which he giveth is the best and I shaâ— profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to bâ— always able to meditate on the love anâ— sweetness that is in my Saviour I woulâ— not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one hour to gain all thaâ— the world hath to give 99. Surely If I could always think oâ— my Saviour I would willingly always thinâ— on him I would not only have him in aâ— my thoughts but I would have him be aâ— my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with thâ— Spirit of grace were to be preferr'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets oâ— sin though their end were not bitter buâ— sweet 101. I would willingly lose all that â— have of the world if so be I could lose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I â—ould yet I remember well I never did or I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my â—wn words when I speak by Prayer or any â—ther way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my â—houghts and my words when I take upon â—e to speak unto the People of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive â—nd accept of both through thy merits â—nd mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so â—o live as I may be always ready willing â—nd rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine own thy time and thy will â—e done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing â—or sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitter unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any afflictiâ— unless that which I cannot bear sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lorâ— till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin deâ— to me and then Lord take me to thy sâ— when thou wilt that I may live for ever thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me pâ—verty and Contempt with the grace of coâ—tent I shall be as rich and as honourabâ— as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord froâ— the World and then take the world froâ— me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace love thee that it may extinguish all othâ— loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant aâ— let me know it and I will never desire nâ— ask any other Honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ me and doubt it then not in me and bâ—lieve it rather such true sorrow then suâ— false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven would not desire to be there my desiâ— should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as may always fear thee and so fear thee â— I may ever unfeignedly love thee let theâ— â—wo graces be never sever'd from me nor I â—rom them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but â—et every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all Sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy Mercies O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet until I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving
wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdom my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and sent me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to go and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee nothing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be always with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be more holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be always open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine arms to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto the that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on Earth to lift me up from Earth into Heaven to live a mortal life on Earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on Earth to free me from Eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on Earth to confirm and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart out also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st wear an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might wear a glorious Crown of Glory hereafter in Heaven thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine arms nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love thy feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thorns to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a spear to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streams and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternal pains and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joys he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unabillity and my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee nor can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me then O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to believe in thee to depend on thee and to rowl my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already owe thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe the more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expecteth only an acknowledgement that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedom Lord Ah Lord the freedom all the freedom all the freedom that I desire is to be thy
can be done by them but what thou pleasest and sufferest to be done Cause them and all thy people to know that having thee on their side and for them they need not fear who be against them for none ever fought against thy power and prospered and that though thou dost usually use means yet thou canst O God we know if thou so pleasest do thy work without means yea and against means and that there is no means so contemptible but thou canst O God our God make effectual even to the pulling down of strong holds as thou did'st the Walls of Jericho at the noise of Rams Horns it is as easie with thee to do what thou willest as to will it all things are as easie as possible let us not then O God fear any power no nor all powers having thee the Lord for our God before whom all the Nations of the earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance Thou holdest O God the Ocean in the hollow of thine hand and the earth is upheld and standeth fast by the power of thy might give us then O Lord God such fear as may cause us to love thee and such love as may cast out and destroy all fear for thou only who art God only art to be feared only Ah Lord look down graciously and in mercy upon poor afflicted Scotland and Ireland stir up thy self and come and save them even now now when there is no help for them nigh at hand O Lord be thou their help and help thou them and give them grace to put their trust in thee that thou mayest be their help and deliverer of three Nations make us O Lord one people that we may be knit together with the bonds of love and unity serving thee O Lord with a perfect heart in holiness and righteousness all the days of our lives And though O Lord thou hast delivered them into our hands and given us power over them Ah Lord suffer us not to do other unto them than we would they should do unto us and that we lay not on them too heavy burthens to bear Bless O Lord I beseech thee all my kindred and acquaintance in the flesh Ah Lord I know that thou knowest all their soul and body cases Ah be thou pleased in Jesus Christ to come into their help and give them deliverance make O Lord make their hearts below their conditions and then make their conditions what thou wilt lay no more O Lord on them than thou shall be pleased to enable them to bear and then lay on them what thou wilt Ah Lord cause every thing to work together for their good let them always see and acknowledge that thou punishest them far less than their iniquities deserve and that all afflictions whatsoever come from thee but the procuring cause is in themselves make them O Lord as willing to wear the Cross here as the Crown hereafter to suffer for thee here as to reign with thee hereafter And though O Lord they be poor in the world let them be rich in grace though they be contemptible in the world let them be honourable in thy sight be thou O Lord their Portion and make them thine inheritance and grant O Lord I beseech thee that their last days may be their best days and their last thoughts their best thoughts that they may be thy faithfull humble and obedient Servants unto their lives end living the lives of the Righteous that they may be like them both in death and after death Be thou with them O Lord in all places and at all times that they may always sit under the shadow of thy wings and that the fruit of thy word may be pleasant unto the tast of their souls let them through grace delight to walk in the ways of thy Statutes and let thy Commandments be their daily talk suffer them not O Lord to go astray from thee either after the pleasures or profits of the world but inable them all through grace to walk uprightly and circumspectly before thee unto their lives end Be mindfull and mercifull O Lord unto all the Sons and Daughters of affliction wheresoever dispers'd wheresoever scattered on the face of the whole earth bring home O Lord all that are banisht deliver all Captives and set free all Prisoners that every one may sit under his Vine and rejoyce under his Fig-Tree eating in peace the fruits of their labours visit O Lord the sick comfort the comfortless bind up the broken heart heal the wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sense and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their Souls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter than Snow purer than Wool finer than Gold and brighter than the Sun and make them O Lord more than Conquerours and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the Peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the Apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercies fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gracious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be always-willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not always mourn as men and women without hope but pour down O Lord in much love and mercy pour down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their Souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercies from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O
Christ and come Lord Jesus Ah come quickly and take me to thee to be ever with thee for though to me to live were Christ yet to dye would be great gain 55. Such and all such love falsly as love their Neighbours False love to our Neighbour or loving our Neighbour falsly for themselves only for the good they do them and for the benefit and advantage alone which they receive from them were it not for this good they would not care for them nor think of them nor pray for them nor wish or desire any blessing on them if they do at any time do them any good it is for the good that thereby they hope will accrue to themselves either of praise or profit otherwaies they would rather yea much rather their loss than their gain their dishonour than their honour and they would delight more much more to hear an evil than a good report of them and were it not that they want them or may want them that they stand them in stead they would rather yea much rather dis-serve them than serve them hurt them than do them good and though with their mouths they bless them yet in their hearts they curse them envying the very happiness that they pray for on their behalf they love them for their gifts not their gifts for them yea they love their gifts but not the givers of the gifts they love their gifts not because it comes from their love but because they are lovely that is because they stand them in stead they have need of them they should be in want if they did want them if they had them not they do not praise God on their behalf and pray for a double blessing on them for this their blessing of them if they wish or desire an increase of their substance and a blessing on their labours it is because they hope they will increase in doing them good in giving to them of their substance a blessing of their labours a part and portion of their profits and if they do not do so such will curse and not bless and would if they could take from them all that they have or seem to have for their love is self-love love only to themselves for themselves therefore false love loving falsly 56. I had much rather have no portion in the World than have the World for my portion 57. For I am sure the World never did nor never will make any rich and as sure that it hath and will make many Ah too too many poor 58. For many that have had and yet shall have great Portions of this Worlds good have nor shall have none of the good of Heaven for their Portion it 's hard for a rich man here to be rich there 59. And many that have no Portion in this World of this World have God and shall have God for their sure and everlasting Portion in the World to come 60. Ah happy yea thrice happy man that hath such a Portion there though he have none here what ever be his condition he is in a blessed condition for he shall be ever blessed blessed for ever and ever 61. But Ah miserable man who art only miserable that hath no Portion there what ever Portion he hath here yea though he abound in Corn and Wine and Oyl and all this Worlds good and glory 62. Give me Ah Lord give me any Portion in Heaven though but to be a door-keeper if I may but see thy face and hear thy Voice I care not though it be with the loss of all Portions here both of riches honours and pleasures 63. If thou givest me here O Lord but food and rayment how mean soever it be I will be content therewith and heartily thank thee and if thou givest me none I will thank thee for the time past and believe I shall want none for the time to come and that shall content me 64. Ah if the want of the World be so sweet when in its want we find no want how sweet then yea how much sweeter is Heavens fulness where is all fulness of all things and therefore no want at all of any thing 65. Ah how much better is it and how much greater gain to lose this Worlds all and gain Heaven then to gain this Worlds all and lose our part of Heaven which is Heavens all yea all Heaven 66. The Worlds loss with Heavens gain I shall not account any loss but all gain yea the greatest gain I can get but Heavens loss with all this Worlds gain I shall not account any gain but a great loss yea the greatest that I could or can sustain 67. He that loseth Heaven loseth all but he that gets only this Worlds all gets nothing even nothing at all 68. I will and always will account all losses gain to win Christ and all gain losses if I lose Christ 69. Let Christ then be my gain and I care not what losses I sustain 70. For this Worlds felicity is certain but a moment but the felicity or infelicity of the World to come is not uncertain any moment but certainly good or bad from the first to the last moment which last moment will be always alike as far off as it was the very first moment being ever ever 71. Give me then Ah Lord God that endless good felicity and happiness which is like thy self shall never change but endure for ever and not that which is like my self subject every moment to all change 72. Ah Lord thou knowest I would willingly most willingly change thus my life for death and then my death for life 73. That is my life of Sin for a death to sin to put all sin to death and then death for eternal life with Christ who is my life 74. Thou knowest O Lord also that I would willingly dye to live and live to dye 75. That is to dye to sin and live to grace live in all grace and dye to all sin that to me to live may be Christ but to dye gain yea that my life may be hid with Christ in God 76. I would willingly O Lord have thee mine all that I may give thee mine all and reserve from thee nothing at all 77. All Lord All I most willingly and unfeignedly give thee Ah that thou wouldest receive all and refuse nothing at all 78. For all Lord that 's mine is thine that is all that is good for the bad I renounce and give back also to him that gave it 79. All the World is nothing being all perishable therefore can be to nothing compared but to nothing 80. Ah what a pity is it that any man should be so sickle as to love such fickle things as are these below which to day are and to morrow are not 81. For is any thing lesser worser or lighter than vanity if any thing be or can be or if this Worlds things be any thing it is it which is so much vanity and so full
how willing to unmind it altogether and to forget it for ever even for ever and for ever how sweetly Ah how sweetly doth it pass the time away when all its faculties are imployed and feasted in the contemplation of God his love goodness greatness mercy truth wisdom and Eternity how willingly Ah how willingly doth it shake off put away divorce and separate it self from all things of these things here below and doth the soul of the heart rejoyce when it is not molested with perturbations it doth at such a time as this forget these low things even all these high things here below as if he had never thought on them as if they were not nor had never been 133. Ah how is the heart at rest and quiet how calm how peaceable how joyful I know not how it is to set it forth as then it is when it is with God in God me thinks I know not where it is nor what it doth enjoy such is its blessed and blest condition as I know not nor am not able to set down what condition it is nor how blessed it is so blessed I know not what to call it nor how to set it forth in that loveliness in that blessedness that then it is blessed with if it then see any Object out of God besides God it sees it not if it hear any voyce or words it hears it not if it speaks yet as it were it speaks not if it walk it seems to its self as if it walk not as if it moved not if it stands still it seems not to know it for even all its sences and faculties are so much taken up and imployed as it well knows not or as it were cannot express about what it is imployed at least how it is imployed nor what it doth enjoy such and so great are its joys 134. And when Ah when it must leave this sweet study this Heavenly work this blessed imployment this profitable traffick this honourable business this glorious company these great joyes these pleasant pleasures and soul-satisfying satisfactions and converse again with the men of the world how Ah how irksome displeasant uncouth troublesome yea noysome and burdensome is every other thing every other word every other business every other matter or concernment of what concernment soever it be never Ah never any loss seemed to him so great never any man to his esteem and seeming fell from such a high condition to such a low condition how willingly Ah how willingly would he have his body in any Condition so that his mind were always imployed in minding this blessed and Heavenly most Heavenly and most blessed Condition Ah what words what thoughts what desires Ah what gaspings gapings longings hungrings and thirstings at sometimes and then presently Ah presently how is he filled and satisfied and yet knows not as it were with what nor how and this he calls a new birth and a new birth indeed it is for he is then all new and made another man within and without for he is in some measure as it were like God holy as he is holy and pure as he is pure for in sincerity he desires and aimes at holiness and purity even at pure holiness and to be without spot and wrinkle unblameable his life is as it were even hid with Christ in God Christ is his life all his life is to live in him with him for him and unto him it s the end of his aim and the aim of all his end to be his only his none but his always his that he may be ever his even and for ever to live that life and dye that death as may bring him most glory as may glorifie him most In Bourdeaux Anno 1658. 1. WE may enjoy the world and all the things of the world but we must not Ah we must not joy in them so as to make them our joy use them we may but abuse them in the use of them not we may not we may possess them but must not Ah we must not suffer them to possess us esteem them good we may but our least good we must not Ah not our best good not our chief supream soveraign and only good for that is God only only God who is all good and all good only in Heaven nor earth there is none besides him 2. Seeking as well as finding knocking as well as opening asking as well as giving is Gods free gift for he freely giveth all things unto all that ask aright by faith in Jesus Christ and no good thing will he with-hold from those that love him that love his fear and fear his love 3. What is Hell but thy absence O Lord the absence of thy love and our living in and continuing in sin 4. And what O Lord and what is Heaven but thy love and thy presence O God the continual and everlasting enjoying of thy ever blessed and loving presence and our liberty and freedom from sin to sin no more but to praise thee ever and for ever and thee only O God and thee only adore 5. Grant me O Lord God this one thing this one thing only to enjoy thee and that I may always make thee my only joy and to sin no more willingly with my will either in thought word or deed but to live the life of the righteous to and for thine honour praise and glory 6. Whose sins the Lord forgives he forgets whom he hath pardoned he will save where he loves he lives and will ever live there in love those that are beloved shall be ever his beloved for he hath loved them ever and will love them ever 7. The fire of Gods Love are the fiery flames in which all his children desire to live for out of them they cannot live life is to them death yea much worse than any death and any death they would willingly Ah most willingly choose to live this life 8. Our fitting here for Heaven by sanctification which is holiness is an evident sure and certain token and sign that Heaven is fitted and prepared for us for as without holiness no man shall see God so being made holy he shall be sure to see God that is to possess him who is Heaven eternal life and happiness where holiness is there God is he dwelleth and maketh his continual abode where holiness abideth and dwelleth 9. O God my God from whom every good and perfect gift doth come give O give I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ unto me a holy heart according to thine own heart that it may be thine and that thou mayest delight in it to make it thy delight and be pleased to live in it here until thou shalt bring me to live with thee and in thee and to thee and for thee for ever and ever 10. What a stinking Carrion is man Ah what a most deformable thing is man when God is not with him nor in him so much an Enemy he is to himself
all by whatever he gives he is still the same full of all blessedness and goodness always ready to distribute and give unto the necessity of the Saints never weary nor standing still yesterday to day and to morrow and for ever the same 50. Therefore to have much is to ask much ask and ye shall have that your joy may be full God doth not say or mean that we may or can be too bold that we may ask too much And to take away this scruple or doubt he promiseth that what ever we shall ask believingly in the name of Jesus Christ we shall receive if we open our mouths wide then we have his promise that he will fill them which implies that the way or means to have much is to ask much this holy Coveting and Ambition he is well pleased with and so good bountiful and free our God is that we cannot please him better than after what ever we have asked to believe that he will give us much more by much than we are able to ask or think whoever lacks Wisdom if he ask it of God he will give it liberally for he upbraids no man neither is he a respecter of persons having given us Jesus Christ his only Son the Son of his love and delight how shall he not with him give us all things 51. Surely surely seeing he hath and daily doth give us such things as these Himself his Son and holy Spirit we may be sure we shall as Abraham did be weary or leave asking or God will leave giving for weary he cannot be fit then thy self to be filled and I promise and assure thee who ever thou art thou shalt not be sent empty away what ever thy hunger and thirst be whatever thy coveting and ambition be thou shalt have to fill thee to satisfie thee yea over and above what ever thou canst ask or think believe for all things are possible yea easie for him to do 52. The life which delighteth the Lord and which he would have us to live is to live unto all holiness and godliness every day even as we would do if we knew it to be our last day yea to live every moment of the day all our days as if it were our very last moment 53. The death of the Righteous every one seemingly desires to dye but truly I may say of the most that thus say be they whoever they be that they know not well what they say because that perhaps not one of a thousand but denyes it in his deeds for the death of the Righteous in which the Lord delighteth as in their life and which honours him most even as a holy and godly that is God-like life doth I say this death of the Righteous is as I take it to dye daily yea every moment of the day to all sin even to all both great and small in thought in word and deed to dye thus is to honour glorifie and dignifie more the Lord than to dye any temporal death on the Rack in the flames of fire or to be buried alive c. 'T is not with these Ah not with these Sacrifices of our fleshly lives but with those Sacrifices of our Lusts Corruptions and sinful affections that God is well pleased refreshed as it were and delighted These Sacrifices send up sweet Odours in his Nostrils these are pretious in his eyes I thus thus doubtless it is that the death of the Saints are pretious in the eyes of the Lord to put to death those cruel ones those Enemies of our Eternal life of our souls salvation that put to death the Lord of life and glory himself in his manhood this is to be valiant for the Lord to do wonders or wonderfully to fight well his battels and to help the Lord as it were against the mighty Ah how is he delighted that we will avenge our selves thus on his Enemies and spare none alive but as Samuel did hew Agag the King himself in pieces this is to be jealous for the Lord with a godly jealousie and to have our love for the Almighty to be as hot as fire Ah thus thus if we pull out our right eyes and cut off our right hands we shall be sure to enter into life but not maimed but whole and entire And he that is thus willing to lose his life shall save it and he that will spare or save his life that is his life of sin or fleshly life to live in and commit sin shall surely lose his life both Spiritual Temporal and Eternal 54. He that thus dyes all the day long all his life long dyes much more gloriously by much in the eyes of the Lord God and in the eyes of all his enlightened Children than if he did suffer in the flesh constantly all his dayes the cruellest death of any of all the Martyrs Ah to suffer thus is to suffer truly is to suffer rightly for the cause of Christ and the honour of the Gospel for 't is not Ah no our outward sufferings in the flesh that delighteth the Lord for he is a God oâ— joy and would that we did always rejoyce and is there any other thing that we do oâ— can do that gives us so much cause to rejoyce as to be delivered but of the hands of all our Enemies and to see them lye slaiâ— before our eyes as the Egyptians Ah then then may we serve him without fear then and thereby do we serve the Lord in Righteousness and true Holiness and he that is thus faithful unto the death to put sin to death every moment of his life shall be sure in the end of his dayes to have the full end of all his desires and to wear for ever the Crown of Eternal life he that thus fights shall overcome he that thus suffers no sin to raign in his mortal body shall raign with Christ in bliss and glory world without end Amen Amen 55. Thus then to live and thus do dye is to be sure we shall live with Christ Eternally 56. He that doth live thus and thus puts sin to death lives that life and dyes that death daily as most of all honours God and which brings him most glory which is the thing only or the only thing as I suppose that all Gods Children most desire and long for in this life 57. He that thus lives shall ever live and he that thus puts sin to death is past from death to life and shall never see death that is the power of death to terrifie him for death is swallowed up into Victory death when it comes shall carry him in triumph yea triumphantly into the blessed arms of his blessed Jesus who hath thus redeemed him from Hell from sin and from death to live ever with himself in bliss and glory an Eternal life 58. When I shall find that sin is thus put to death in me then will I say boldly that the Lord hath sent his destroying Angel to do it that he
Lord mine all and let â—e be thine all 225. Though I much fear and would â—t commit any sin yet I am not at all aâ—id of all the Sins I have committed 226. Though I know that God hates all â—s yet I much rejoyce that I was made a â—ner 227. Though I know that God justifies â—e ungodly yet I would not be ungodly 228. Though I know that grace doth aâ—ound more then sin yet I would not sin â—at grace may abound 229. Did I doubt of the pardon of my â—ns to have their pardon I would not â—hoose willingly to commit one sin 230. Ah Lord do not only pardon all â—y sins but give me grace to sin no more 231. Let me O Lord be â—s unwilling to â—ve in sin as to dye in sin 232. Let me fear as much the commitâ—ing of any sin as the punishment of all my sins I have committed fear sin before â—mitted as the punishment after commiâ— yea fear sin more then the punishmeâ— sin choose the punishment and not sin â—ther then sin and have no punishment 233. Let me hate sin most because sin and therefore most to be hated 234. Let me hate sin as much after â— doned as before and before commitâ— as after 235. Let me O Lord hate sin as tâ— lovest a sinner that would not sin 236. Let me be O Lord as unwilâ— to commit sin as thou art willing to parâ— them when committed 237. Let me even be as unwillingâ— commit any sin as thou O Lord â— willing to pardon all Sins 238. Let me O Lord die to all â— that I may live to all grace 239. Though O Lord I know tâ— thou pardonest all sins and transgressioâ— yet suffer me not willingly to choose â— commit any sin nor consent to any Trâ—gression 240. Let sin dye that grace may live Let grace live that sin may dyeâ— 241. Let Sin dye in me that thou maâ—est O Lord live in me 242. Let me dye to sin that I may Lord live to thee â—43 Let me O Lord dye to Sin whilst â—e that I may not dye in sin when I am â— â—44 Let me O Lord so dye here to â— that I may not dye hereafter for sin â—45 O Lord let me so dye as I may not â— Eternally â—46 Let sin O Lord be rooted out of â— that I may be rooted in thee and â— in me my sweet and saving Jesus â—47 Let me O Lord be so rooted in â— as I may never be rooted out of thee â—48 Let me Lord take such deep root That I may bring forth much fruit â—49 Let my Root be such in thee That my fruit be much to me Let my fruit be such to thee That the Fruit be like the Tree â—50 Let O Lord my death to Sin appear â—he appearance of the life of grace â—51 Let me O Lord so live as I may â—er dye but to Sin â—52 Let me O Lord so live to thee â— as I may ever live with thee and in â— hereafter â—53 Were not thy work O God the â—rk of my Salvation yet would I prefer it â— do it before that of my Salvation A Prayer AH most blessed Incomprehensible and â—nal Lord God Glorious in Holâ— fearfull in Praises doing wonders the â—vens are not pure in thy sight and yet thoâ— graciously pleased in Jesus Christ to look dâ— and to dwell in poor Man who is sinfull â— and Ashes thou livest only in the highest â—vens and in the lowest hearts the one is Kingdom of Glory the other of thy Grace â— Lord make my heart so low in my own esteeâ— it may be so high in thine that thou may'st â— it thy delight to dwell in it for ever Ah â— when I consider all that thou hast done for â— and all that I have done against thee I aâ— shamed and confusion seems to cover my facâ— Vail having O Lord transgrest all thy and just Laws and broken wilfully williâ— knowingly and presumptuously all thy Diâ— Commandments from the first to the last â— the greatest to the least as well by Commâ— as Omission as well by Actual sin as Origâ— sin knowingly as well as ignorantly both â— fully and willingly on thy days as well aâ— our days in thy house as in other houses inâ—ing thy work as in doing my own work inâ—ties as well as out of duties praying sins â— sins meditating sins Sermon sins and Saâ—ent sins so that my repentance must be reâ—ed off and my Prayers Prayed against eâ— my sighs and groans have need of tears â—ash them and my very tears of doubled â— How Lord have I made thy holy things unâ— unto my self and turned thy graces into â—tonness and quencht the motions of thy hoâ—irit by wilfulness how Lord have I treaâ—d up wrath against the day of wrath unto my â— soul and made thee a savour of death unto when thou comest as a Savour of life how â—e I Lord hated to be reformed and turnâ—rom thee when thou camest running towards in love and in mercy how have I cast thy â—ises behind my back and trampled thy preâ—s under my feet how many times have I â—ken my Promises Vows and Covenants â—e with thee in my straights with how much â—e eagerness and earnestness have I served â— sinful Lusts then thee in thy services my â—d Lord God! and how much more pains â—e I taken for earthly things then for heaâ—ly how much more delight some have these â—gs below and the remembrance of them â—en unto me then the things above how â—ch sweeter hath sin been to me then grace â—â— how have I bent my will against thy great â—â— holy will in all things how willingly and how fast O Lord did I run in the ways â—ternal destruction and how good Lord â— I vehemently delighted and laboured to â— others to commit the same sins and to dâ— same things how easily and how willingly â— believe the suggestions of the Devil and â— what willingness have I left thy work â— how often good Lord to do his nay wâ— is yet worse how often have I tempted him tempter to tempt me unto sin when I knew â— the wages of sin was death even Tempâ— Spiritual and Eternal for body and soul dâ— my very utmost to destroy both But what O Lord are all these sins those I do not to those I cannot remember â— that both for greatness and multitude yea wâ— are all the sins I have committed to thâ— would have committed had'st not thou in lâ— and in mercy O most gracious loving â— most mercifull Father in Jesus Christ â— strained me and come in continually unto help and succour even when I was altogetâ— helpless and succourless thou did'st O Loâ— own me when I would not own thee thou diâ— run after me when I did my utmost to run frâ— thee thou did'st O Lord continue knockiâ— when I would not open to thee and wert'st â—tented such was thy endearing loving love â— to me to stand at the door of my
saving Ark of Rest which shall â—or ever cause me to float and swim above all the storms and tempests of sin and Satan â— grant O Lord that having past the timâ— my Pilgrimage here in thy fear I may dye in favour unite me O Lord I most humbly seech thee so nigh unto thy self that I may made bone of thy bone and flesh of thy fleâ— make me a member of thy Mysticall body hâ— that I may be for ever a member of thy gâ—rious body hereafter Ah Lord God in Jesus Christ I beseech â— to sanctifie all afflictions and Temptations â— me and lay no more upon me at any time in â—dy or mind then thou shalt in thy goodnâ— and for thy glory inable me to bear and tâ— not thy holy and blessed spirit the Sanctifier â— the Comforter from me be thou my help want my strength in weakness my joy sorrow my comfort in grief my riches in verty my palace in Prison my home in â—nishment my health in sickness and my life death let my blessedness in thee O Lord câ—me to see my cursedness out of thee let thy â—verflowing fulness cause me to see my emptinâ— thy beauty my ugly deformity thy light darkness thy glory my ignominy thy riches â— poverty thy obedience my disobedience thy pâ—fection my imperfection thy holiness my unâ—liness thy glory my shame thy wisdom my foâ— thy strength my weakness thy goodness â— badness thy Heaven of happiness and blessednâ— Hell of unhappiness and wretchedness thy things my nothing Ah sweet Jesus that camest down from Heaâ—n on Earth to lift me up from Earth to Heaâ—n thou took'st my nature on thee to make me â—taker of thine own holy blessed and divine â—ture thou becamest the Son of Man to make â— the Son of God thou becam'st O Lord my â—ra an Heir of Misery to make me an Heir of â—ercy yea Co-heir with thy self of Heavens â—eat glory and eternal Happiness Felicity and â—lessedness which is thy Father Self and holy â—rit three Persons but one God thou wert sweet Jesus Lamb of God Son of God â—ade a Curse that I might be made a Blessing â—ou wouldst dye once that I might likewise dye â—t once and then live with thee for ever and â—r ever thou didst O King of Glory wear a â—rown of Thorns that I might wear a Crown â— Glory thou wert lifted up on the Cross to â—t me up unto thee thine arms nayl'd abroad â— shew how willing thou wert to embrace me â—y feet nail'd together to shew thy willingâ—ess never to go from me thy head hangâ—g down to shew thy willingness to kiss me â—ith the kisses of thy mouth of thy love for â—ver thy heart opened with a Spear even to â—t me in there thus did'st thou shew by the Crown of Thorns on thy head the height of thy love by the nayling of thy feet the leiâ— of thy love by the spreading abroad of thy aâ— the breadth of thy love and by the openinâ— thy side the shedding of thy hearts blood depth of thy love O blessed God O most â—sed love there is no God like unto thee nor there ever love like unto this thy love â— did'st O Christ thou did'st suffer thy Faâ—â— frowns that I might have his smiles thou diâ— O Christ thou did'st drink up the dregs of Father's wrath even Vinegar mingled â— Gall that I might sweetly solace my self drinking to thee the bottomless bottom of endless love thou did'st O Christ my Saviâ— thou did'st bear all my sins that I might â—pear without sin thou didst O Christ my deemer thou did'st shed all thy heart blood wash me from the filthiness of my own blâ— and from the guilt of this thy blood-sheddiâ— thou hadst O Christ thou hadst thy Fâ— much more glorious than the Sun defaced â— spittle that mine might shine even as thâ— gloriously in glory though not so gloriously glâ—ous thou hadst O Christ thou hadst thy bâ— whipped that by thy stripes I might be healâ— thou wert O Christ thou wert thus wounâ— that by thy deadly wounds I might be â— Cured O love infinite and incomprehensible â—yond degree an offended God dies to set offâ—ing man free Ah Love that surpasseth all understanding ah â—odness that surpasseth all love that wert in love â—ercy and goodness pleased to do this for me not â—hen I was a friend but an enemy not when I â—as in Covenant with thee but when I was â—t of Covenant not when I loved thee but â—hen I hated thee not when I was lovely but â—veless not when I was holy but unholy not â—hen I desired it but when I desired it not not for â—king it but when I askt it not not for having â—ne any thing for thee but even then when I â—d all that I could against thee not when I â—as thy Servant but a Servant of the Devils â—d all this O God my God that thou didâ—st â—as not for thy advantage but for mine not â—r thy good but for mine not for thy honour but â—r mine not for thy glory but to bring me to â—ory and all this thou did'st looking for noâ—ing again thou lovest me only because thou â—ould'st love me Ah height length depth and â—eadth of love that an offended God should â—e and woe and pray and pay and promise â—nd give and dye and live to reconcile inâ—ch honour magnifie and exalt offending â—an poor despicable man vile wretched â—orthless man nothing man that can be fitly â—mpared to nothing but to nothing less than â—e drop of a bucket or the dust of the balâ—ance O Lord let these thy wonders of mercies and wonderfull compassions cause me ever to adâ— and adore thy love and kindness thy kind loâ— thy goodness and thy greatness and to cry â— Lord what is man that thou art so minâ— of him and the Son of man that thou so gardest him as to visit him to magnifie hâ— to dwell in him to delight in him to mâ— him thy delight to set thy heart upon him to him good even according to all the good tâ— is in thy heart having prepared for him Kingdom which cannot be shaken a Kingâ— of Glory an eternal and incomprehenâ— weight of glory where is joy all joy unspeâ—able joy and Rivers of pleasures for ever moâ— where is no right but all is day yea the Lâ— himself is the lâ—ght thereof where is no grâ—nor sorrow nor care nor fear but all teâ— shall be wiped away and there shall be no mâ— sorrow nor sighing but all joys and singâ— of praises and Hillelujahs with the Angâ—ls â— Saints beholding the Lord of glory yea â— glory of the Lord seeing him face to face he is and knowing him as he is to be know there is no Canaanite in that Heavenly Countrâ— no Cain to kill no Sodomite to vex no Ishmâ—elite to scoff no Esau to terrifie no Shimei curse no Herod to persecute no Rabshekeâ— to rail no Judas to betray this Heaven is â—bove all Molestations and
words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacob's Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his arms my arms might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine enemies O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucifie themselves and their bosom sins hate themselves and their own ways persecute themselves and crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing I despicable poor I until thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most graciously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech the in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannies of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utter and total destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the House of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me until thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ and what else thou knowest to be needful or expedient for me both for Soul and Body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy Spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottom of my heart unfeignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on Earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think love God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many Millions of Millions in the body and Spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him in deed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our senses Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esteem that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joys do then sometimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when it is filled with heavenly joys yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joys of Heaven 7. And if momentany and earthly joys can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joys shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is more than faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the Soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he prefers it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall always and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our joys be so great to see God here and his Glory darkly as in a glass with fleshly eyes Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously
earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I come to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infiniteness and eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy Mercies sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost three persons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawfull calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obedientlâ— circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me always value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no Token either of thy Hatred or of thy Love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be always as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal loss Ah Lord let the eyes of my understanding be enlightned and always open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingness whilst I shall possess them and that worldly bliss consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem always that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best Come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will always please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will always please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward Man the New not the Old Man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfeignedly beg and beseech thâ—e in Jesus Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing whatever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the days of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my days unto the very last hour of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witness a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Jesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that tryest the heart and searchest the Reins thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as wilingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty Maker Giver and Preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the â—nds and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatness of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and to write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that
that he always labours to destroy himself and to all others that he rejoyceth to kill those for whom Christ died to give life even eternal life 11. Ah Lord thou knowest that my Love through thy Love is such unto the brethren that I even many times wish and desire I could empty my self that is what of God is in me into them that they might be so filled with him as to know him love him fear him choose him prize him and ioy and rejoyce in him and seek him and his presence with eagerness hungring and thirsting pantings gapings and groanings and never let him be at rest until he hath assured them that he is theirs and they are his 12. Gods blessed gratious and most glorious presence or Communion with him is our Vintage our Harvest our nuptial feast our Canaan flowing with milk and honey our Garden of Spices where we sit under the shadow of his wings and his fruit is pleasant to our tast he is all our good things and our good things always and only all our springs are in him and from him 13. Ah what true joy and what great joy hath that Soul that enjoys God truly knowingly and feelingly that saith I know that he is mine and I am his 14. He must needs be always full of Joy that is filled with the Joy of the Holy Ghost 15. Such Ah such receive Christ willingly and cheerfully at all times as Zacheus did and for his sake are content to part with all to the poor and to become poor vile and contemptible c. and with blessed Simeon they imbrace him with their whole heart as their Salvation and with Jacob say knowingly that they have all and that they care for nothing else at all for indeed they have all they would have that they even can desire and crave for he is their well being their entire satisfaction and full and whole contentment their joy being full when they thus enjoy him 16. Ah Souls labour to live to Christ for if ye live for him and to him then Ah then ye live in him and then ye live indeed your lives are hid with Christ in God and when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in Glory ye shall also appear with him 17. No man is so willing or can be to receive Christ as he is to give himself witness his life and his death and his now living continually making intercession for us See John 15 16 and 17. Chapters none is or can be so hungry but he is able and many times doth suddenly resatiate him none is or can be so empty or hunger-starved but he is able will and many times suddenly doth fill with unspeakable joy and rejoycing 18. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may be ever emptyed of my self and filled only with thee with thy blessed most blessed self that I may O Lord be blessed in life in death and after death and all I beg in and through Jesus Christ my blessed only Saviour and Redeemer 19. God gives not only space to repent 〈◊〉 grace to repent 20. Repentance is from God not from man man of himself can do nothing that is good no not of himself as of himself think a good thought all our sufficiency is from Gods all-sufficiency 21. Sin betrays us deceives See here the ugliness baseness and vileness of sin us beguiles us undoes us wounds us stabbs us poysons us kills us hells us damns us devils us of God-like it makes us Devil-like like the very Devil yea to be as it were a Devil to love sin as he loves it to favour it to plead for it to lye in its behalf to swear falsly that its falsity is truth that its ugliness is beautifulness that its deformity is fairness that its blackness is whiteness that its bitter is sweet that its hatred is love that its wiles and deceits are truth and uprightness that its poverty is riches that its contempt is honourable that its ignominy is glorious and that its Hell is Heaven the best Heaven yea the only Heaven that there is no other Heaven desirable to be desired loved chosen embraced or sought for Sin Metamorphoseth the heart and makes it like the Devils heart unclean unholy filthy abominable detestable tempting others to sin and delighting and rejoycing when through their temptation they are overcome and made like them to like love cherish and take pleasure in sin and go willingly along with them to commit all manner of sin uncleanness and filthiness with hungring thirsting and greediness sin shews it self to be what it is not contrary to what it is as light is to darkness for it says it is good yea and the best good the chiefest good the only good the superior and the soveraign good that there is none like it none so good when indeed and in truth it is nothing but evil all evil the worst evil yea the only and all the evil and basest evil only to be detested hated abhorred abominated and destroyed sin allures and overcomes but by shewing out and putting forth false Colours not its own its food starves the Soul its riches impoverisheth it its robes shew plainly the souls nakedness its beautifulness and gloriousness shew the souls deformity vileness and baseness wretchedness and unworthiness sin is the only Hell which racks tears rends and strikes through the soul with a fiery poysoned dart that makes the wound uncurable only the blood of God man man God can cure it can heal this deadly otherwise uncurable wound sin is that intolerable burthen that presseth down into that nethermost Hell that casteth into that Lake burning with fire and brimstone unquenchable sin is fewel to that fire so as it cannot be put out sin keeps alive that worm that ever gnaws and will never dye but causeth the soul thus to live in torments tormented eternally 22. O God my God heal me help me succor me comfort me sanctifie me and save me that I may appear before thee and in thy sight spotless and unblameable without wrinkle beautiful and comely through thine own comely transcendent beautiful beautifulness that I may O God in Christ comprehend that I am comprehended by thee that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and I am thine that I may Ah that I may henceforth and for ev 〈…〉 in thy love love and adore thy love and give thee O God and give thee all my love and my all for this thy love through grace thy most gracious and free gift in thus accounting and making me lovely 23. He that lives in Christ is a new Creature and he that is a new Creature lives in Christ 24. All old things are past away and behold all things are become new 25. His life is new for he now loves all truth because his love is true 26. If he thinks or doth any evil it is not what he would but that which he would not either do
that God giveth to Souls knoweth it not and therefore desireth it not but Ah he that feedeth on them and hath been resatiated with them he finds no sweets like them nay all other pleasant things unpleasant and all other sweets bitter in comparison of these his sweet most pleasant sweets 69. Being with God having God enjoying God and Communion with him a dungeon is to him a Palace bread and water is good cheer to lye on the ground the earth his bed the heavens his canopy and the trees root his pillow is as a bed of down as curtains of gold and a pillow of wooll nay in flames of fire or on a rack he can lye softly and sing sweetly so he do but hear the still sweet voice of God speaking peace to his Soul and bidding it to be of good cheer 70. There is no company like to no company to be alone with God with God alone if ever it be satisfied it is then satisfied to speak with him to him and to hear God answer him by his Spirit in love Ah the lovely discourse converse delight and joy which makes a man not to know where he is nor whether he be in the flesh or Spirit he is at such times so spiritual 71. Who can Ah who can tell or set forth nay meditate what how good great loving gracious merciful beautiful and abundant is the loving kindness the kind Love of God to his children and servants or set forth the sweetness and greatness of his gifts of Grace 72. He ravisheth them he filleth them he feedeth them he cloatheth them he solaceth them he enricheth them he giveth them such pleasures and joyes as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard nor as no heart can conceive this honour doth the Lord to those whom he loveth to all his Saints 73. He maketh them to triumph in and over all adversity and prosperity in sickness and in health in places and conditions he is always nigh at hand to those that unfeignedly love him and fear him and that tremble at his Word 74. He causeth his goodness to pass before them and proclaimeth as with an audible voice that he will be ever and for ever their God and their Guide their Sun and their Shield their Peace and their everlasting Portion that he will never leave them nor forsake them but always and ever own them for his own and so stand by them and live and dwell in them that no evil shall come nigh them to hurt them or to do them the least harm but every thing shall always work together for his own glory and their everlasting good 75. Thus they that honour him he will honour they that flye to him shall find succour and help and be brought out of all dangers for his own mouth hath spoken it which is to me much more by much than ten thousand thousand witnesses 76. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee keep me so close unto thee as I may always touch thee feel thee hear thee so as I may know thee by thy name that is by thy doings by thy gracious most gracious dealings by thy wonderful by thy most wonderful gracious actings in my Soul and heart and mind and will and affections that it may be all thine and only thine that thou may'st not only O God be in all my thoughts always but always all my thoughts desires love liking and longing 77. Fill me O Lord fill me with love to thy Laws that I may delight in them yea make the keeping of them my whole and chief delight 78. Fill me O God with thine own goodness that I may be good with thine own Justice that I may be just with thine own righteousness that I may be righteous with thine own mercy that I may be merciful with thine own truth that I may be truely true with thine own Love that I may be lovely loving thee in truth with thine own fear to fear thee with thine own Faith to believe in thee and to lay fast hold upon thee with thine own beauty O Lord to make me comely and beautiful with thine own gloriousness to make me glorious with thine own transcendent shining faithfulness that I may be faithful unto thy holy Laws all my whole life 79. Thou hast O God thou hast for which I shall never cease to laud and praise thee promised to keep me by thine own power through Faith unto salvation therefore I will not be afraid nor fear any power no nor all powers whatever whether of sin men or Devils for I know that they are all weak and that thou art strong they are the conquered thou O Lord thou art the Conquerour they are all subdued and thou hast O Lord subdued them they are brought under and thou rulest over them they are thy foot-stool and thou tramplest upon them all their all to thee O great God is nothing even nothing at all all the Nations of the Earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance in thy sight with the breath of thy nostrils thou art able to consume them and turn them to their first substance dust therefore O Lord my Lord I will depend and rely on thee that thou wilt do for thy servant this good that is so great even to make preserve and keep me faithful unto the death and then O Lord then in the greatness of thy eternal and everlasting goodness wilt give me for ever the Crown of eternal life 80. How small a thing how poor a thing and how low a thing is and are all things if God be not in them and come not with them 81. What is it to have all things out of God and besides God that is not to have him with them in them who is all good and only able to make all things good unto us 82 How poor and low are all these high things here below the riches of the World the honours of the World and the pleasures of the World to enjoy all their pleasures and their joys how foolish is it and Ah what toys considering their fickleness shortness and uncertainty for what is green desirable and flourishing to day is to morrow perhaps withered dry loathsome and all its beauty past away for who can say of any thing or of himself it shall be to morrow as it is this day 83. The wicked shall not live out half his days and how long soever he live they will not be half the days he would live though God should lengthen them as he did Hezekiah's for ten years nay for a hundred nay make his days as Methusalem's all such a time would be but a moment to eternity but to live in the Love and favour of God a man shall dye never but death shall make him live for ever and for ever 84. What a poor yea despicable poor small thing are Kingdoms Crowns and Scepters and what else as humane Learning the wisdom of men mans wisdom
is so hot that a whole world of gold would be given for a drop of water and yet it is so cold as will make thee for ever to weep and wail and gnash thy teeth But it may be thou wilt not believe it till thou hast felt it if thou art such a fool and such an Enemy to thy own soul to thine own peril be it I can and do assure thee on my souls salvation that then it will be too late and thou shalt find no place to repent in how many tears soever thou sheddest wherefore whilst it is day hear the voyce of the Lord who wooes thee to come unto him that thou mayest have life and be no longer a neglecter of so great Salvation as is so freely offered unto thee and quench not the spirit in thee no longer which if thou wilt but now repent and leave for ever thy sins thou shall find mercy and he will seal it to thy heart and Conscience unto the day of Redemption awake then thou that sleepest and arise from the dead and Christ shall give thee life But know that if thou neglectest it and wilt put it off till the morrow know that there is no to morrow in all the Scripture 't is to day if thou wilt hear his voice harden not thy heart and consider how nigh this day may be past and how nigh the night may be at hand wherein no man shall work The Lord speak so effectually to thy dry obdurate rocky heart that it may so hear as thy soul may live and that these words may prove a savour of death to all thy sins and of life unto thy poor Soul Death to all that are in Christ is a day of Harvest of reaping gathering and gain it will be to him a day of Espousals she shall be married unto the fairest Bridegroom that ever was Absolom's Beauty will be blackness and uncomeliness to his to the richest that ever was Solomon's riches will be but as Job's poverty compared to his And to the most highest in honour that ever was being King of kings and Lord of lords to him all Kings shall fall and cast their Crowns at his feet Death to a true believer is the best of all things because it brings him to possess all things yea to possess Christ himself who is the giver of all things and much better than all things much by much A Soul in Christ is always ready to meet and imbrace death at midnight or mid-day at the Cock-crowing or any other time he hath his life as it were in his hand always ready and willing to lay it down or give it up to him that gave it him and redeemed it he accounts nothing his own but all Christs and that he hath all things both in Heaven and Earth having him When Death is ready to carry us into the arms of Christ the Ark of our peace and rest then the Devil many times rageth most against us But Christ our Captain and deliverer who will save us to the utmost as the Lyon of the Tribe of Judah roareth against him and forceth him to a trembling and yielding retreat But to Saints our Christ appears as a Lamb meek and pacified yea as the Lamb of God that taketh away all our sins that he may present us spotless and unblameable unto his Father that we may as Children and Coheirs with himself receive a Crown incorruptible and the inheritance prepared for us from all Eternity Death to us that are dead to sin and alive to Christ hath no sting and therefore cannot in the least do us any harm wherefore we cherish him and as a dear friend are glad to hear of him and so think often on him and when he comes we bid him most heartily welcome entertain him kindly and lodge him in our bosoms But to those that know not Christ his Master and have no interest in him nor his mark on their foreheads he comes in flames of fire and as a most cruel Executioner to execute on them the direful and eternal doom of God and so carries them post and headlong to Hell delivering them into the hands and power of their grand Enemy the Devil to be tormented in everlasting burning world without end or for ever and for ever Death Ah how comely art thou in the sight of all Gods Children that art sent by him to bring them to see him their King Lord and Master that have so long desired to see this day and thy delightsome countenance thou art most welcome and dear as the most dearest Brother come in thou Messenger of the most Highest I know what thou hast to say unto me thou bringest me the gladdest tidings that ever I heard I am ready to go with thee when thou wilt I shall be now soon brought to my long desired home to my everlasting habitation of repose and rest Now my Soul thou shalt be no longer perplext nor troubled all sighing for sin and fear of sinning shall flie away now is that blessed day come wherein thou shalt at once have all thy Prayers answered all thy desires petitions and suits granted and ten thousand times ten thousand more than ever thou didst ask or think now thou shalt sin grieve nor offend thy God no more but evermore serve honour obey and please him Now thou shalt see him who created thee God the Father him who redeemed thee Jesus Christ the Son and him who so often comforted thee and hath sanctified thee the Holy Ghost the blessed Spirit three in one and one in three which is a great mystery but most true Ah happy they unto whom it hath been manifestly manifested such have Eternal life and therefore fear not death But to the wicked that fee and know themselves out of Christ death is to all such the King of Terrors they dread and fear him more than all the Kings Tyrants Torments and Tormentors in the World nay than the Devil himself for 't is by death that they are sent or brought to keep company for ever one with another 't is death carries them to that infernal habitation that throws them headlong into that Lake of fire and brimstone into that bottomless pit of black thick darkness which may be felt that binds them in fetters so strong as none is able to deliver them and then flies swifter than the wind from them resolving which they know never to return to deliver them and this later woe for ever to abide so is the greatest of all this sinks their hearts and hopes into an everlasting despair which most of all makes death dreadful to them and they would much rather lye under the greatest rocks or mountains or be cast with a milstone about their necks into the bottom of the Sea But it cannot be death will execute his part of the doom pronounced against them by him that judgeth wisely righteously and justly and that spake as never man spake A Prayer MOst High most Holy most