few prouide or bee carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue and the feare of God For the losse of their liues and bodies they will sore bewayle and much lament but the health and saluation of their soules they make no reckning of if they see them poore and sicke they sorrow and sigh but though they see them sin and greatly displease God they are nothing grieued It behooueth that parents doe carefully obserue vnto what vices their children are most inclined and s◠by good meanes to admonish and draw them from the same As parents be carefull to prouide temporal things for their childrens bodies which are transitorie so much more carefull ought they to prouide spirituall things for their soules And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young so much more they ought to take care that their soules be not poysoned with vices and false and erronious doctrine when they come to yeeres of discretion and this is the most acceptablest seruice that they can doe to God Psal 132.1 Mat. 12.33 Children are called the fruit of their parents Therefore as a good tree is knowne by bringing forth good fruit so parents should shew their goodnes in the good education of their children which are their fruit For like as fruitfull fields for lacke of tillage waxe barrē or as trees being neglected eyther bring forth no fruit or else the same vnsauorie without the diligence of grafting and pruning or as dogs bee vnmeet to hunt the horse oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto euen so how sauage and vnfruitfull creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good and vertuous bringing vp To teach a child in the trade of his way as Salomon commandeth Pro. 22.6 which is not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse but also vnto all other humane duties Reasons wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents and they are bound to doe it For who should teach and informe the child but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him But it is well knowne that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children or such as they shall procure for their better education and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them they must looke vnto it Againe this is apparant euen by the generall law of nature which hath taught the very bruit beasts to bring vp their yong And further this dutie is yet enforced from the oportunitie of the thing commanded For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment and thriue better in the soyle where it first grewe or sprung vp then in any other ground because it liketh his owne soile best so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents whom they best like and from whom they had their first being then from any other and therefore you parents are in fault if your children bee not well taught For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the child is naturall and kindly no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dugge you shall sooner be heard of your children then eyther the sage counsell of the ancient or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned Lastly the rule of iustice doth require that euen as the first parent Adam Gen. 5.3 and so all other after him haue beene a meane of falling to al their posteritie in the begetting of children in their owne image which according to the law of creation should haue beene borne Gods Image so now in lieu of this al parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe neuer cease vntill they see in some measure the beautie of the first Image the vertue of the second Adam This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture as amongst other these doe proue Deut. 4.9 and 11.18.19 Ephes 6.4 Psal 78.5 And because this dutie of parents is many times committed to Schoolemasters to Masters of Families to Dames to Patrones and Guardians and such like they must therefore vnderstand whosoeuer they be that they are bound by the voyce of the almightie to performe and to do the dutie of parents to all such as are committed to their charge as if they were their owne children Now the vices which some parents commit in not performing these duties before and after named and ought of them to bee eschued are these 1. First the ignorance of the parents as if they be so rude that they bee not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a dutie and therefore they must indeuour to get so much nourture and knowledge as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them 2. The second vice is the prophanenesse of many parents who so they may prouide liuelihood and necessaries for their children they care for no more 3. The third vice is committed of such poore parents which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children so they may haue meate drinke ynough and wages thereto competent and are neither back-beaten nor belly beaten as they say Alas such poore children while they serue for their bellies they may loose their soules because they want godly maisters and dames to giue them wholesome instruction to holde them in by good example and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all Parents learne that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children as are godly and religious wise hearted such as are both able and wel disposed to traine vppe youth in all good nourture and Gods seruice and not onely this for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents but also they must so oftē as conueniently they may repaire unto them and see how they profit and holde them vp by their good counsell and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them to bee good vnto them in this chiefe poynt aboue the rest For as Salomon saith Life and death is in the power of the tongue Pro. 18.21 so wee may well say life and death is in the education of our children If they be well brought vp it shall be life vnto them but if it be otherwise they are trained vp to euerlasting death 4. The fourth vice is the fault of many maisters and dames who make no further reckening of their seruants then they do of their brute beasts For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them they care for no more and they will teach them no further then may serue for their owne turne and benefit that is to be a profitable seruant vnto them Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God
For this cause olde men and olde women may lawfully marrie So that a wife is called by GOD himselfe an Helper Rom. 7.23 1. Cor. 7.8 9 39. 1. Tim. 5.14 and not an impediment or a necessarie euill as some vnaduisedly doe say And as other some say It is better to burie a wife then to marrie one Againe if wee could be without women wee should bee without great troubles These and such like sayings This is often found most true that such as are contemners of mariage are most offenders against marriage and liue most vnchastly tending to the dispraise of women some maliciously and vndiscreetly doe vomit out contrary to the mind of the holy Ghost who saith that she was ordeined as a Helper and not a hinderer And if they bee otherwise it is for the most parte through the fault and want of discretion and lacke of good gouernment in the husband For married folkes for two eyes haue foure and for two hands as many moe which being ioyned togither they may the more easily dispatch their handy busines houshold affaires For like as a man hauing one hande or one foote if by any meanes hee get himselfe an other may thereby the more easily lay holde on what he listeth or goe whither he will euen so hee that hath married a wife shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures and profitable coÌ„modities of this present life For in trouble the one is a comfort to the other in aduersitie the one a refreshing vnto the other yea and in all their life the one is a helpe and succour to the other Most true it is that women are as men are reasonable creatures and haue flexible wittes both to good and euill the which with vse discretion and good counsell may be altered and turned And although there be some euill and lewde women yet that doth no more prooue the malice of their nature then of men and therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill and haue not with like furie vituperated and dispraised all mankind because part of them are theeues murtherers and such like wicked liuers But the marriage and company of the husband and wife is made amiable sweete and comfortable by these fiue meanes by godlinesse vertue mutuall forbearing mutuall loue and by dutifulnesse performed busily and godly on both sides 1. Godlinesse of right holdeth the chiefe place For there is no stable steadfast friendship vnlesse it haue his beginning from God and therefore must godlinesse needes shine before the rest For when couples haue determined to obey God all things afterward become more easie 2. Vertue and honest conditions breede mutuall delight betweene man and wife For when vertue is exercised it maketh conuersation of liuing more amiable 3. Mutuall forbearing whereby we take in good worth one anothers conditions faults is very needfull For in this weaknesse of nature there happen many scapes which will breede strife if they be not couered by mutuall forbearing 4. Mutuall loue hauing his beginning of godlinesse and true vertue maketh the husband and wife not to be too sharpe sighted in spying into one anothers faults but that many things either they marke not or if they marke them they couer them with loue For Loue couereth the multitude of sinnes 1. Pet. 4.8 Prou. 10.12 5. Dutie performed godlily carefully and cheerfully on both sides maketh the mariage-yoke light and sweete For when man and wife marke one another and finde like heedfulnesse and buxamnes in their dutie both their companie is made more pleasant and they are the more stirred vp on both sides to render dutifulnes that the one may requite the other alike Where these fiue duties bee not the companie of their life is both lothsome and bitter or rather more sharpe then death Therefore the godly couples must doe their endeuour that these vertues may be seene in their life continually for euer Now wee will through God his assistance say something concerning the three seuerall points contained in this dutie and mentioned in the beginning hereof and so end this dutie 1. The first whereof is That the husband must liue with his wife according to knowledge This point of doctrine is most plainlie proued by the Apostle Peter where he saith Ye husbands dwell with your wiues 1. Pet. 3.7 as meÌ„ of knowledge giuing honour vnto the woman as vnto the weaker vessell By honor is meant that the Husband ought to sustaine and relieue the wants of his wife to support vphâ—ld and beare with her infirmities as the weaker vessell euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life that your prayers be not interrupted Whereby hee teacheth the husband his dutie to wit that the more vnderstanding and wisedome God hath indued him with the more wisely and circumspectly hee ought to behaue himselfe in bearing those discommodities which through his wiues weakenes oftentimes cause some iarre and dislike one to the other Neuerthelesse though she be by nature weaker then he yet she is an excellent instrument for him made to farre more excellent vses whereupon it followeth thaâ— she is not therefore to bee neglected because shee is weake but on the contrarie part shee ought to be so much the more cared for Like as a vessell the weaker it is the more it is to bee fauoured and spared if we will haue it to continue euen so a wife because of her infirmities is so much the more to be borne withall of her husband 1. Pet. 3.7 And for so much as the husband and wife are equall in that which is the chiefest that is to say if that gracious and free benefit whereby they haue euerlasting life giuen them which otherwise are vnequall as touching the gouernance and conuersation at home and therefore she is not to bee despised although she be weake And besides Besides the praiers had with their familie they must pray priuately Gene. 25.21 1. Cor. 7.3 4 5 all braulings and chidings must be eschued and cast away because they hinder praiers and the whole seruice of God whereunto both the husband and the wife are equally called Also for more câ—onfirmation of this point the Apostle Paule likewise sayth Let the husband giue vnto the wife due beneuolence and likewise also the wife vnto the husband The wife hath not power of her owne bodie but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne bodie but the wife Defraude not one another except it bee with consent for a time that yee may giue your selues to fasting and prayer and againe come together that Sathan tempt you not for your incontinencie VVhich is as if the Apostle should say The parties married must with singular affection entirelie loue one the other for that they are each in others power as touching the bodie so that they may not defraud one another except the one abstaine from the other
the earnest penny of my goodnes and grace toward thee But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull the promise of long life vpon the earth is vnto vs also a blessing of God First because wee can not liue long without participating in many and great benefits of God euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life Secondly because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue and glorifie God In consideration whereof we see what the Church in old time said The dead praise not the Lord Psa 115.17.18 neither any that goe downe into the place of silence But we will prayse the Lord from henceforth and for euer The same doth Hezechia King of Iudah also note in his canticle Esay 38.19 The liuing the liuing he shall confesse thee as I doe this day The father to the children shall declare thy trueth In as much therefore as long life is promised as a blessing God doth continue is to obedient children so long as it is a blessing vnto thē And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne togither these two sentences That it may goe well with thee Ephe. 6.5 and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth As also when God taketh away such obedient children before they be old yea before they come vnto mans state whether it be least malice should corrupt their hearts or to preuent some great calamities wherein they might peraduēture be entangled or vpō whatsoeuer other considerations to receiue them into a better life he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children because he dealeth better then promise with thē But as contrariwise this promise threatneth such children as will not honor their parents with short life so doth experience declare that many such children are of short and wretched life But if contrariwise such disobedient children doe chance to liue long so far is long life from being vnto thē a blessing that to the contrary it is an enforcement and increase of woe because they enlarge their iust condēnation so as they had beene better to haue died in their youth But howsoeuer it bee God so disposeth hereof that by the effects we may perceiue that they which honor their parents are blessed and the others accursed Eccle. 3.2 c. And although some parēts do not performe those duties towards their children inioyned thē from the Lord yet such children as liue wickedly must know that they are not exempt and free frō blame guiltines before God For though they can say as the children in Ezechiels time said The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes and the childrens teeth are set on edge we say that though the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues And besides that it is sure that the soule that hath sinned shall die the death Seeing there be some yong men maids who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most the manifold corruptions offered abroad the vngodly examples abounding at home are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace that they escape safely in an holy course of life lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill reioycing in the least occasion of good things The rest who please themselues and hope to shelter their sins vnder their parents defaults are plainely left without excuse are iustly guiltie of the blood of their owne sinnes Labour therefore ye yong men and maidens to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eies stay the mournfull sorrowful spirits of your tender mothers and consider in your selues if yee haue any nature in you haue not buried the vse of common reason what a shame it is to be a shame vnto your fathers to whō ye ought to be a glory thinke ye wanton wits that haue not cast off all naturall affections what a contempt it is to be a contempt vnto your mothers to whom you haue offered as it were a despightfull violence in that yee are a corrosiue to her griefe when as ye should haue bin a crowne vnto her comforts Learne therefore ye children that it is one special propertie of a liberal ingenious nature to bee careful so to liue that in time yee may be a glory to your fathers a ioy to your mothers which the Lord for his Christs sake grant These precepts admonitions before said are as a Sūmarie of the duties of children to their parents And therefore it resteth that they vnderstanding them doe pray vnto God to giue them grace to put them in practise to his glory and their good and saluation Lastly let them remember that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers then such as parents doe powre forth for their children As they are therefore to feare their curse for offending thē so must they by honouring and pleasing them seeke to bee blessed in their prayers which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen as the blessing of Isaac to his sonne Jacob doe manifestly declare Genes 27.28.29 What duties Masters and Mistresses owe to their seruants The householder is called Pater familias that is a father of a familie because hee should haue a fatherly care ouer his seruants as if they were his children THis dutie teacheth them that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants which dutie consisteth in foure points 1. First that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse 2. Secondly that by diligent instruction and good example they bring vp their seruants and housholds in honestie comely manners and in all vertue 3. Thirdly that they ought to instruct their apprentices and seruants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades euen as parents would teach their owne children without all guile fraud delaying or concealing And lastly when correction is necessary Masters and Dames ought moderately to vse their authoritie ouer their seruants Ephes 6.9 that then they giue it them with such discretion pitie and desire of their amendment as louing parents vse to deale with their deare childrē remembring alway that they haue a master in heauen before whom they must make an account for their doings These foure points are in effect spokē of before in the dutie of parents For so much as masters and householders are to their seruants and prentices in place of fathers they are hereby admonished that they ought not to withhold and keepe backe their due wages to exact of them to oppresse them or to reward their wel doing Iam. 5.4 Col. 4.1 Iob. 31.13.14.15 Deut. 24.14.15 good deseruing slenderly but to be careful of their seruants good estate as of their own not only in prouiding for them wholesome meat drinke lodging and otherwise to helpe them comfort them and relieue and cherish them as wel in sicknesse as in health Mat. 8.5.6 Luke 7.2 liberally to reward their good deseruings as farre as christianitie liberalitie and equalitie shall
This is a most despightfull kinde of speaking and doth bewray abundance of malice that was hidden in their harts euen so it sometimes falleth out betwixt the husband and the wife betwixt the father and the sonne betwixt the master and the seruant c. that they could speake dutifully one to an other but contempt and disdaine anger and malice will not suffer the one to affoord vnto the other their due names and titles least they should bee put in minde of those duties which these names require whereout Sathan sucketh no small aduantage whereas many times the very name of husband or wife father or sonne master or seruant c. doth greatly helpe to perswade the minde and to winne the affection yea the very mentioning of these names doe oftentimes leaue a print of dutie behinde in the conscience Husbands must not forget this point namely that it is not sufficient for them to declare and outwardly make a shew of a good life in words and precepts onely but also in life and deede so that two things are very necessarie for him to rule withall to wit wisedome and example and that he himselfe fulfill the thing that he commandeth to bee done The life and outward conuersation of a man whether it bee good or euill doth not onely perswade but also constraine and inforce We doe see how mightie and auailable this or the like exhortation of a Captaine is in the time of warre and battell Oh my souldiers doe that ye shall see me doe the which contempt of death in the Captaine doth so creepe through the whole host that there is not one be he neuer so feeble and weake hearted that doth esteeme his life for the which hee perceiueth that his Captaine careth so little for Thus did Christ with his Apostles and Martyrs draw the world vnto the Christian faith Leuit. 11.44 19.2 20.7 and 21.8 Iohn 13.15 Phil. 3.17 1. Tim. 1.16 2. Thess 3.9 For as they liued so they spake and as they spake so they liued Therfore if the husband would haue his wife to bee temperate quiet chast painful in her calling religious c. then he must be carefull that he be not distempered vnquiet no whoremonger not carelesse in his calling nor irreligious c. So that if hee commaund any thing to be done he must first looke that hee denie not to doe the same himselfe and so shall his wife and familie obey the same and to be the more readier and willinger to doe it being both honest and lawfull to bee done The very name of a wife is like the Angell which staied Abrahams hand Genes 22.11 when the stroke was comming If Dauid because hee could not expresse the commoditie and comfort of vnitie and brotherly loue was faine to say Oh how good and ioyfull a thing it is Psalm 133.1 for brethren to dwell together in vnitie Then let husbands weigh and consider how harsh and bitter a thing it is for them and their wiues to dwell together in enmitie and strife For the first yeare after marriage Deut. 24.5 God would not haue the husband goe to warre with his enemies to the end that he and his wife might learne to know one anothers conditions and qualities and so afterwards liue in godly peace and not to warre one with another and therefore God gaue and appoynted that the new married husband that yeare is to stay at home and settle his loue that he might not warre and iarre after for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of warre As a kingdome cannot stand if it be diuided Matth. 12.25 so a house cannot stand if it be diuided for strife is like fire which leaues nothing but dust smoke and ashes behinde it We reade in the Scriptures of masters that strooke their seruants but neuer of any that strooke his wife but rebuked her Genes 19.33 Lot was drunk whē he lay with his daughters in stead of a wife and so is he which striketh his wife in stead of his seruants The law sheweth how a bondman should be corrected but the wife is like a iudge which is ioyned in commission with her husband to correct other Wilt thou strike one in his owne house no more shouldst thou strike thy wife in her house She is come to thee as to a Sanctuary to defend her from hurt and canst thou hurt thy selfe Therefore Abraham said to Lot Genes 13.8 Are wee not brethren that is may brethren iarre but they may say are wee not one can one chide with another can one fight with another Hee is a bad Oste that welcomes his guest with stripes Doth a King trample on his Crowne Salomon calleth the wife Prou. 12.4 The crowne of her husbands therefore hee which woundeth her woundeth his owne honour She is a free Citizen in thine house and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her mariage Genes 2.23 Ephes 5.19 to holde thy hands till shee release thee againe Adam saith of his spouse This is flesh of my flesh But no man saith Paul euer hated his owne flesh So then if a man aske whether he may strike his wife God saith nay thou maist not hate thy wife for no man hateth his owne flesh shewing that he should not come neere blowes but thinke his wrath too much Some husbands are wont to say that they will rule their wiues whatsoeuer they bee or howsoeuer they came by them and that it is in the hand and power of the husband what and of what qualities and conditions she shall bee True it is that a great part of this doth rest and lie in the husband so that he vnderstand as hee ought to doe that mariage is the supreme and most excellent part of all amitie and friendship and that it farre differeth from tyrannie the which doth compell men to obey Truly it may force the bodie but not the will in the which all loue and amitie doth consist and stand the which if it bee drawne and forced doth resist and bow like a palme tree to the contrary part And the husband may assure himselfe that there cannot bee any quiet mariage or vnitie where hee and his wife doth not agree in will and minde the which two are the beginning and seate of al amitie and friendship And such husbands as do brag and think themselues able to rule and ouer-rule their wiues by that time they haue proceeded and gone a little further they shall well feele and perceiue themselues to bee beguiled and finde that thing to bee most hard and intricate the which to bee done they esteemed most light and easie Some husbands there be that through euill and rough handling and in threatning of their wiues haue and vse them not as wiues but as their seruants And yet surely they are but very fooles that iudge and thinke matrimonie to be a dominion For such as would be feared doe afterwards pitiouslie lament
Step-father and Step-mother admonish and put them in minde of their dutie towards the children of the one and the others for Step-father and Step-mother doth signifie a sted-father and a sted-mother that is one father or one mother dieth and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome Therfore to the end that both their loues may be setled towards the children of the one and the other they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother that is in stead of their owne father and mother and therefore they ought to loue them to tender them and to cherish them as their owne father or mother did They must not look vpon them like Rehoboam who told his people 1. King 12.13 to 21. that he would bee worse vnto them then his predecessor for then the children will dislike of you and turne from you as his subiects did from him but ye must come to theÌ„ as Dauid came to the people after Sauls death who sayd 2. Sam. 2.7 Though your master Saul bee dead yet I will raigne ouer you so ye must say to them though your father be dead or though your mother be dead yet I will be a father or I will be a mother vnto you so the children wil loue you as much as their dead father or dead mother did For that man and that woman that are led with discretion reason and consideration will reckon himselfe and his wife all one and likewise she will account herselfe and her husband as one And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one and of the other as common to them both for if friendship make all things common among friends insomuch that many haue loued fauoured their friends children as their owne how much more effectually and perfectly ought mariage to cause the same which is the highest degree not only of friendships but also of al blood and kindred But Step-mothers doe more often offend and faile in this dutie then men by reason that their affections bee stronger then mens and many times ouer rule them and therefore they are earnestly to bee admonished and warned that they shew themselues to those motherles children no step-mothers friendship but a right motherly kindnes Let the step-mother aduisedly consider that God hath ordained and appointed her in stead of their owne mother to bee to them a right true mother and not onely to regard them as children but as orphane children and requireth her to loue them and to do them good as to her owne What a griefe would it be to her hart if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne bodie should after her death haue a stepmother that would be rigorous churlish and vnkinde vnto them doubtles those childrens mother that dead is had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children Let her therfore alwaies haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ As you measure vnto other Matth. 7.2 so it shall be measured to you againe That is as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor so another wife may come after her and intreate her children for he that tooke away the first mother and sent her can take away the second mother and send a third which will not bee like a stead-mother to hers vnlesse she bee like a stead-mother to these Verely a good woman will bee vnto her husbands children that which she may heare them call her so often that is Mother For what christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection that will not be moued and mittigated with this word Mother of whom soeuer it be spoken And chiefly of children which cannot flatter but speake euen so from their heart like as they would to their owne mother of whom they were borne How sweete is the name of friendship how many iniuries hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away Then how much more effectuall ought the sweet name of mother to be which is full of incredible loue Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and minde when she shall heare her selfe named mother by any of her husbands childreÌ„ Otherwise she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkinde then the wilde sauage beast for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kinde fawne vpon her she will by and by shew kindnes and mildnes vnto it And shall not her husbands children make her kinde and louing vnto them when they call and speake vnto her by the louing and sweete name of mother As wiues ought to goe comely cleanly and handsomely in their apparrell so they must in any wise beware of pride riot or excesse therein 3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the dutie of wiues is that they doe not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell or broidered haire trimmed with golde but that after the example of holie women which trusted in God they bee sober in outward apparell and ought to bee garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds as with gentlenes meeknes quietnes and chastitie which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God This point is so plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie chap. 2. vers 9.10 in which place he so flatly condemneth both the excesse and pride of apparell as also the pompe curiositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads by plating crisping broyding curling curiously laying out that no man can say more against it in so few words as hee hath spoken to the vtter dislike therof For if a maÌ„ should occupie himselfe and giue libertie to his penne to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride Pride is hatefull before God and man Be not therefore proude for thou art but dâ—ff and ashes that many women commit in this behalfe hee should rather want time to write then matter to speake Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues herein we leaue them to the Lord who no doubt will in his appointed time not onely seuerely punish theÌ„ but also their husbands for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues as he did the Iewes for the same sinne as plainly may bee seene in Esay 3.16 c. For so it falleth out according to the common prouerbe Prou. 16.18 That pride goeth before and shame and destruction commeth after And on the contrarie part we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ his religion will both attire and dresse their heads so decently and also content themselues with such comely apparel as best beseemeth their calling and degree so as by their good example Titus 2.3 they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this behalfe so rather to come short of that which their abilitie and place would serue to maintaine then any waies to exceede herein to the
companions 1. King 12.8 The tame beast will not keepe with the wilde Prou. 1.11 and 13.20 nor the cleane dwell with the leprous If a man can be knowne by nothing else Psalm 6.8 Numb 16.26 Iosu 23.12 2. Chron. 19.2 2. Cor. 6.14 Ephes 5.7 then he may be knowne by his companions for like will to like as Salomon saith Theeues call one another Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie he saide Away from mee all yee that worke iniquitie shewing that a man neuer abandoneth euill vntill he abandon euill companie for no good is concluded in this Parliament Therefore choose such a companion of thy life as hath chosen companie like thee before for they which did chuse such as loued prophane companions before in a short time were drawne to be prophane too 6. The last signe is education 6. The bringing vp It skilleth more by whom and by what waies mē be brought vp then of whom they be begotten which giueth also great testimonie namely by whome and how euery one is brought vp whether the man or the woman were conuersant among vertuous or vicious persons and whether the parties haue continued in the nurture of the vertuous and shewed themselues obedient to them vnder whome they were brought vp or whether either of the parties haue broken out of this discipline and followed his or her owne wilfulnes For it is a small matter for either of them to haue dwelt among or with vertuous and religious folke but rather herein lieth the force and weight how far and how much either or both the parties haue followed those and profited vnder them and were dutifull and obedient vnto them For Iudas was among and accompanied with the Apostles brought vp certaine yeeres vnder Christ but for all this he was neuer the better for he left not his wicked prancks neither was he obedient Neuertheles good education and discipline formeth good manners men and women commonly sauour most of those good or euill thinges which in youth they learned To be good it doth much profite to be well brought vp Therefore to prooue good honest and vertuous it importeth and forceth much from the infancie to bee well gouerned and christianly brought vp for we retaine much more of the customes wherewith we be bred then of the inclinations wherewith wee bee borne All these properties are not spied at three or foure commings and meetinges of the partie for hypocrisie is spunne with a fine threed and none are so often deceiued as louers He therefore which will know all his wiues qualities or shee that will perceiue her husbands dispositions and inclinations before either be married to them had need to see one the other eating and walking woorking and playing and talking and laughing and chiding too or else it may be the one shall haue with the other lesse then he or she looked for or more then they wished for Here is to be remembred a thing adioyned to marriage and going before it namely Betrothing beeing a solemne and laudable custome of Gods children as is proued Deuteron 20.7 22.23 24. This Betrothing What betrothing is is a couenant betweene the parties to bee married before fit witnesses appointed thereto whereby they giue their troth that they will and shal marrie togither except some lawfull vnmeetenesse and disliking of each of other do hinder it in the meane time The practise of it we see Matth. 1.18 Luke 1.27 Where the Virgine Marie beeing betrothed to Ioseph yet they had not mette togither to wit to accompany togither according to the ende of marriage This custome noted and marked in diuers places of the Scripture hath diuers good grounds to be obserued which proue that there ought to be a contract before marriage And for the ter vnderstanding of this point of Betrothing it shall not be amisse in some plaine and short manner to make knowne the holy doctrine hereof with the doctrine also of marriage and marriage duties First then we must know that euery mariage that hath bin well and orderly vsed either of the heathen which were only inlightned with the law of nature or of the people of God who also were to be directed by his word was perfected by two solemne actions that is by an apparant open contract and by publike mariage the true vnfained cōfirmation therof Wherfore we wil first speak of a contract which is also called espousing affiancing betrothing or hand fasting thē of mariage it self And for betrothing or espousals we reade in the writing of ancient Philosophers Histories Orators Poets and others that they be of great antiquitie of necessarie vse and haue been ordinarily practised Insomuch as the vsers thereof are highly commended the neglecters and abusers hereof sharply rebuked and condemned Which seeing they could not do but vpon knowledge and iudgement it doth manifestly declare that they did it by natures lawe written and bred in their breasts And therefore that euen nature it selfe though in some matters starke blinde and in many of very dim sight yet she hath in all ages bewraied the lawfulnes the necessitie and the vse of espousals to be the first step and degree to a lawfull and comfortable marriage But to omit this lawe and to come to the written word let vs further consider what allowance we finde in the same and consequently what it is not onely to marrie not onely according to the direction of nature but also in the Lord. First it is certaine that the Lord approueth them as his owne sacred ordinance for we reade in Exodus 21.7 8 9 10 11. how carefully hee prouideth by sundry and many straight commaundements for the Maide-seruant that is betrothed First that she shall not goe out of her seruice as the Men-seruants doe Secondly that her Master shall haue no power to sell her to a strange people Thirdly that being betrothed vnto his sonne hee shall deale with her as with his owne doughter Fourthly if another wife bee taken with her that neither her foode her raiment nor recompence of her Virginitie shall any whit at all be diminished Fiftly that whensoeuer she goeth out of her seruice she shal pay no money at al. None whereof the Lord would haue done much lesse all of them vnlesse espowsalls had been his owne ordinance instituted ordained and commaunded by himselfe to bee vsed euen of the Maid-seruant that was bought and sold Againe it is written in Deut. 22.23 c. how the Lord by like commandement prouideth for the espowsed maid being inoffensiue yet beeing guiltie hee punisheth with lesse punishment then if shee had been indeed married First then hee commandeth that if any man shal abuse a betrothed virgine in the Citie both shall bee stoned to death the Maide because she cried not the man because hee hath humbled his neighbours wife Where by the way is to be remembred how God calleth the betrothed a wife If then such wickednesse by iustice deserueth death and if betrothed persons
bee truely to be termed man and wife onely in regard of the precedent espowsals wee may then plainly see how highly the Lord doth esteeme and honour them the breach whereof he punisheth with the punishment of adulterie the persons betrothed hee honoureth with the names of man and wife If indeed he had not ordained and allowed them but that they had been of humane institution alone he would not haue honoured them with such titles or haue imposed death by stones for the breach of mans ordinance Againe if a man abuse a betrothed maid in the field hee saith that the man shall die but vnto the maid thou shalt doo nothing because there is in the maid no cause of death Now imposing death vppon this man and not vpon him that abuseth a maid not betrothed the Lorde doth hereby euidently teach that espowsals are a principall degree in marriage And therfore the vnlawfull breach thereof deserueth death For what else should the Lord grace thē with such great priuiledges and punish the breach thereof with seuere punishment Further the faithfull in all ages instructed by these and such commaundements approued and practised these espowsals not onely by themselues Iudg. 14.1 c. but also by their children Sampson liking and louing a woman of the Philistines in Timnah desired his Father and Mother to giue her to him to wife and so they did at which time Sampson made a feast according to the custome of the yong men Albeit her father afterward would not suffer him to marrie her but gaue her to another for which iniurie Sampson reuenged himselfe of the Philistines by burning vp the ricks of standing corne vineyardes and Oliues For which the Philistines burnt both the Father and the daughter 1. Sam. 18.15.26.27 2. Sam. 3.14.15.16 So Dauid begged Micholl of her father Saul who gaue her to him to wife with condition that hee would bring him a hundreth foreskinnes of the Philistines and therefore when Saul was dead hee required her of Ishbosheth Saules sonne who sent her vnto him Also Ioseph and Marie the mother of Christ were betrothed which God would neuer haue permitted if it had not been of his owne ordinance and agreeable to his owne wil or if he might any manner of way haue stained either Iosephs honestie or Maries virginitie Nay if hee had not much more graced and adorned both then the want of espowsals could haue done And to auoide tediousnesse in so plaine a trueth 1. Cor. 7.36.37.38 seeing the scripture giueth power and authoritie to Parents to giue and not to giue their children in marriage saying let him doo what he will Againe hee that giueth her in marriage doth well and hee that giueth her not to marriage doth better whereof wee shall speake more at large anone there must needes be before the publike act of marriage some speciall time appoynted wherein both Parents and parties may testify and signifie their mutuall liking and consents vnlesse they despise to marrie in the Lorde Wherefore if the law of nature the law of God the practise of the Heathen the custome of Faithfull especially of the Parents of Christ If the punishment of the espowsall-breakers and the rewards and priuiledges of the espowsed And finally if the fatherly authoritie ouer children doo approue and require the continuall vse of this ordinance of God it must needes be confessed to be both lawfull and necessarie yea being the first principall part of marriage it selfe it must needes be honourable in his kind as well as marriage it selfe is Now then in the next place let vs see learne what a contract is to the end that vppon sound knowledge and right iudgement we may alwaies vse it wel and neuer ill for want of good vnderstanding A Contract is a voluntarie promise of marriage mutually made betweene one man and one woman both beeing meete and free to marry one another and therefore allowed so to do by their Parents This short sentence sheweth the whole nature qualitie propertie vse and abuse with all other things that are to be obserued or eschued in a right Contract as shall appeare by the vnfolding of euery word contained therein For as there is none vaine and idle voide of his proper signification so euerie one hath his proper waight seruing for speciall and necessarie vse 1. First wee call a Contract a promise and so it is indeed for what is a promise but a speech which affirmeth or denieth to doo this or that with pupose and words of testimonie to performe and accomplish that which is affirmed or not to do that which is denied And what other thing is indeed a marriage Contract but this so that it must be in nature a true and right promise not the vowe of a promise in time to cōe but a present promise in deede For if one partie do say I will promise to marrie thee this is no promise in deede but a promise of a promise and consequently no Contract but a promise of a Contract And therefore tieth nor bindeth neither parties nor Parents to keepe the same for it is not in nature any contract at al. Againe if a Contract be a promise it is not onely a purpose of the heart nor a dumbe shewe or doubtfull signification of promise but a plaine promise vttered pronounced in a right forme of speech as when one saith I doe promise to marrie thee or I do espouse affiance or betroth my selfe to thee in marriage or such like wherein al ambiguitie and doubtfulnesse of speech is to be eschued that as the meaning of the hart is simple and plaine so likewise the words of the tongue might be simple and plaine voide of all deceit 2. Secondly we call a Contract a promise of mariage because it is not a promise of euerie thing neither of honour of inheritance of riches or of any other thing else sauing onely of marriage Now wee meane by marriage not onely the parties married but all coniugall and mariage duties and offices that peculiarly belong to this honorable estate and are necessarily to bee performed mutually of both For this promise touching persons themselues is of such force waight that it tendeth to the alienation of the propertie of bodies for so it is written the wife hath not the power of her owne bodie but the husband 1. Cor. 7 4. and likewise also the husband hath not the power ouer his owne body but the wife For although this is not perfectly done till the act of marriage be ended yet this promise is the principall beginner and worker thereof because they that promise marriage do necessarily thereby promise that two shall become one flesh and that they will alwaies giue mutuall beneuolence one to another Touching the peculiar duties of husbands and wiues which likewise are promised by this Contract wee will here onely recite them leauing the doctrine thereof to another place and time 1. The husband his dutie is first