cleaued almost a sunder with vnspeakable gréefe and perceiuing my Louer to bee farre from mee like a desperate and franticke Womanne I beganne thus to say to my selfe Behold the very selfe and same occasion which Sidonian Eliza had to abandon this hatefull world cruell Panphilus hath giuen me And alas a great deale worse It pleaseth him that forsaking these I séeke out other regions And since I am become his subiect I will fulfill his hard beheste and pitty-les pleasure and in one howre I will requite my haplesse loue my committed wickednesse and my iniuried and déere husband with a tragicall and vnnaturall death And if oppressed soules deliuered out of thys corporall prysonne haue any liberty in the newe world I wyll without delay conioyne mine with hys And where my body cannot bee my soule shall supplye the place of it Beholde therefore I wyll die and so rydde me of all these paines I thinke it most conuenient that with these handes I execute this last stratageme vpon my selfe Because there can be no other hande so cruell that can perfectly performe that which iustly I haue deserued I wyll therefore without delay willingly take my death the remembraunce of which although it be terrible to my weake sexe and to my womanly thoughts yet shall it be as welcome vnto me as this painfull life is yrkesome vnto my soule And after that I had resolued vppon this last pretence I began to deuise with my selfe which was of a thousande wayes the best to take my life from me And first of all colde and sharpe yrons came to my minde the mortall meanes of many one hys vntimely death considering that the said Eliza by their cruelty did forsake thys cōmon ayre and then after these the deathes of Biblis and Amata were presented before mine eyes the manner of which was offered to mee to ende my weary life But more carefull of my honor and good name then chary of my selfe and fearing more the maner of dying then death it selfe the one séeming vnto me very infamous and the other too extreame cruell in the mouthes and mindes of euery one were occasions to make me refuse the one and not to like of the other Afterwards I imagined to doo as the Sagontines and as those of Abydas dyd the first fearing Hanniball of Carthage and the other Phillip of Macedon committing themselues and all theyr goods to the fury of consuming flames But knowing that thys coulde be no small detriment to my déere Husbande vnculpable and guiltlesse of my euils I refused also this kinde of death as I did the rest before After these I called to mind the venimous iuyces which héeretofore assigned to Socrates to Sophonisba to Hanniball and to many other Princes more their last daies And many of these indéede as they pleased my changable fancie so did I thinke them fitte for the purpose But perceiuing that in going about to séeke them no little time was requisite and doubting leaste by enquirie of them my drifts shoulde bee called in question and sifted out and that my determined purpose also in the meane while might perhaps haue béene altered I imagined to séeke out some other kinds of death Wherefore I bethought me as many times I had doone before to yéelde vppe my féeble spirits betwéene my knées but doubting least it should be known and suspecting some other impediment incident to it I passed to other headlong thoughts And the very same occasion and least I should be also séene made me forsake the burning and swalowed coales of Portia But the death of Ino and of Melicer ta likewise the hunger starued ende of Erisichthone occurring to my memory the long time that I should haue in executing the one and in staying for the other made me also to reiect them thinking that the paine of the laste did a greate while nourishe the languishing body But besides all these wayes the precipitate death of Perdix falling frō the highest Towre of Creete came also to my minde which spéedie kind of death onely pleased me infalliblie to followe as one deuoide of all insuing infamie saying to my selfe Casting my selfe downe from the highest Turrets of my Pallace I shall crush my boanes in a hundred péeces and dashe out my braines and by all those seuerall péeces will yéelde vppe my haplesse soule contaminated with prepared goare and ready broken vp to be offered vppe as a Sacrifice to the Gods And fewe or none there are that will imagine and say that by mine owne cruelty furie or proper will this death besell vnto me but imputing it rather to some vnlucky chaunce with powring out pittifull teares for mee will bewayle my vntimelie death and curse my froward Fortune This deliberation therefore tooke place in my mind and it liked me especiallie to put the same in practise thinking to haue vsed great pittie towards me if I had perhaps become pittilesse and cruell against mine owne selfe This determination therefore had now taken sure roote in my hart and I did not attend for any thing els but fitte time Wicked thoughts euer warre with good when a chillie cold suddainly entring into all my boanes made me tremble for very feare which brought these words with it saying O miserable Woman what dooest thou intende to doo Wylt thou ouercome with madde anger in a senceles rage fury cast thy selfe away If thou wert nowe constrained to die of some gréeuous infirmitie wouldest not thou alas endeuour and séeke to liue because at the length thou mightest sée thy Panphilus once more before thy death Dost not thou thinke that when thou art deade thou shall neuer sée him againe and that no kinde of pittie that hee may vse in thy behalfe may helpe thée any thing at all For what did the slacke returne of Demophoon profitte vnpatient and strangled Phillis She florishing without any delighte felt his comming which if she could haue staied for he might haue found her still a Woman as he left her and not a Trée Liue therfore Fiammetta for he will yet for all this returning as a fréende or as an enemie at length come to thée againe And with what disposed minde soeuer he returne thou canst not choose but loue him still And perhaps thou shalt sée him talk with him and mooue his vnconstant and harde harte to compassion of thy woefull plightes Hee is not made of sturdye Oake nor of Flinty stone nor borne bredde nor nourished in a hollow Caue amongst wylde Beastes and did neuer sucke the milke of Tygres nor drinke any other sauage and cruell beastes blood neither is his hart made of Diamonde or of stéele and is not of so brutishe and rusticall inclination but that he will lend his eares and bende his hart to my pittifull plaints passions and perswasions and take some remorse of coequall commiseration of my sustained sorrowes But if he will not be ouercome with pittie then wearyed of thy lothsome life it shall be more lawfull for
that mooueth thée from telling it but onelye that which I feare will prooue ominous vnto mee Conceale it no longer but declare it whilst I am attending for worse What tell me at a worde liueth my Panphilus She pricked on by my angrie wordes and threatnings with a lowe voice and looking downe to the grounde saide Hee lyueth Then said I againe wherefore doost thou not tell me quicklie What enuious accidents stay him from cōming hether Why doost thou hold me in suspence and wauering amidst a thousand fearefull surmises Is he sicke with any malladie Or what froward occasion doth with-holde him that beeing come out of the Gally he doth not come to sée me Then shée said I knowe not whether want of health or any other mischaunce doth detaine him Then said I againe hast thou not séene him or is he not yet come I haue séene him sayd she and he is come but not the same whom we did expect Howe art thou sure said I that he is not my Panphilus Hast thou séene him at any other time and didst thou nowe behold and marke him well Truelie said she I did neuer sée him that I wote of but béeing euen nowe broughte vnto him by that yong Gentleman who tolde me the first newes of hys returne and telling him that I had oftentimes enquired for him he asked me what I would with him His health and welfare said I. And I demaunding of him how his old Father did and in what estate the rest of his thinges stood and what was the cause of his long staying since his departure he answered that he neuer knewe his Father and that hée was a posthumus borne Posthumus is he that is borne after his Fathers death and that all his thinges were in good plight and that he had neuer béene héere before and did meane to stay héere but a small time These thinges made me to wonder and doubting least I was deceiued I asked him his name which curteously and plainly he tolde me and I no sooner hearde it but immediatly I perceiued by the identity and likenes of it with the name of thy beloued Panphilus both thée and my selfe to be greatly deceiued When I hearde these thinges most pittifull Ladyes mine eyes forsooke their lights euery sensitiue spirit for feare of death Effectes of a suddaine passion went their wayes and falling downe in the place where I satte there remained no more force in my body then was scarce able to breathe forth one poore alas Which when the miserable olde Woman perceiued lamenting greatly and calling the rest of my Women about mee caryed mee like a dead woman to my bedde and there labouring to reduce my wandering spirits with colde water beléeuing a great while together to recouer life and yet misdoubting al so the same they watched me with diligent care But after that my forsaken forces came to me againe and after I had powred foorth many teares and sighes I asked the sorrowfull Nurce an other time if it were so as she had sayd And besides this remembring with my selfe howe warye and discrete Panphilus was wont to bee and suspecting that hee had wisely and of purpose made himselfe vnknowne to the Nurce with whom he had neuer talked in his life before I wylled that she should describe vnto me the countenaunce the feyture the gesture the personage and the fashions of that Panphilus with whom she had talked But shee affyrming first with an oath that it was no lesse and no otherwyse then she had tolde me declared to mee afterwardes in order his stature the lineaments of his body face and last of all the manner of his apparrell All which alas made mee gyue too great faith to that which the olde woman told me Wherefore thruste of from all hope I reentred into my former woes and rysing vppe like a franticke Woman I pulled of my sumptuous garments of ioy and layd aside my once déere but now vnpleasant ornaments and my friseled shyning hayre with an enuious Hecuba hand I tore out of order and did carelesly ruffle them together and despysing all comfort I beganne most bitterly to complaine of my incessant and miserable mishaps and with cruell wordes to condemne my failed hope and to blame the good thoughts and like concealed opinions of my vntrue and wycked Louer And in bréefe I returned wholy to my olde life of myseries and hadde a more earnest and feruent desire of death then before which I had not escaped Hope doth still keepe one in life as yet I haue but that the hope of my intended voyage with no little force with-helde me from performaunce of it The ende of the sixt booke ⧠The seuenth Booke of Maister Iohn Boccace hys Fiammetta IN this kinde of lyfe therefore most pittifull Ladies I haue remained as by the recounted and passed accidents you may geather And by how much my vngratefull Lord dooth sée my hope fly from me by so much the more dooth he worke stranger effects in me then he was wont to doo and blowing with more hot desires the glowing coles of looue in my smothered breast dooth make them greater then before which as on the one side they doo mightilie encrease so are my paines and sorrows on the other by like proportion augmented Which neuer béeing with due oyntment asswaged of me are by my own will and follies made more gréeuous and insupportable And béeing more sharpe doo more afflicte my sorrowfull and woefull minde And I doubt not but following theyr headlong course they will at length with some honest meane open mee the way of death which heretofore I haue so long and vnfainedly desired But yet hauing my assured hope as I haue alreadie sayd in my pretended voyage to finde and sée him ah that vngratefull Panphilus I meane who is the originall of all this I did not séeke to mittigate them but was rather now resolued as wel as I could constantly to endure them For performaunce of which I found out one onely possible way amongst many others To resemble ones paine with an others greefes is a lightning of sorrowe which was to compare and measure my paines with theirs who had likewise passed suche bruntes as my selfe fighting vnder the amorous ensignes and in the dollorous battayles of looue Wherof I thinke to reape a double commodity First in knowing my selfe not the first nor to be alone afflicted with misery as not long since my Nurce in her alleaged comfortes told me Secondly that euery gréefe payne and pange of their looue being in my iudgement sufficiently recompenced I determined and resolued with my selfe to passe away euer after with my former euery other gréefe whatsoeuer which I recken no little glory to me when I may say that I am onely she that liuing hath sustained more gréefe and misery then any other woman And with this kinde of glorie forsaken yet of euery one as extreame misery indéede and of my selfe alas if I could
firme in mutuall fréendship dooth looue thee so much as I doo If this be thy beléefe beléeue me Pāphilus it is erronious For truely none can looue thée better and holde thée swéete Pāphilus déerer then I doo If therefore I looue thée more then others He that dooth loue most deserueth more pittie I deserue then to be requited with greater looue and pittie then others Prefer me therfore worthely before the rest being pittiful towardes me forget all other pittie that might offend and preiudicate this and let thy olde father as hee hath liued a longe time without thée enioy a Gods name his wonted rest with out thy companie And lette him from hence foorth if so he please liue amongest the rest of his other fréends and alies And if not let him dye If it bee true as I haue hearde hee hath a good while since escaped the deadly stroke of death and hath liued longer here then was conuenient for his necessary health and if he liue in payne with much troble as cōmonly olde men do thou shalt in thy absence shew thy self more pittiful towards him to let him die thē which thy presence to prolōg his trobled tired life But thou oughtest rather to succour me poore soule whose life hath not béene a good while since but by thy swéet cōpanie preserued nor cannot tell how without the same to enioy this mundane light who being yet in the prime of my tender age dooth hope to liue and lead with thée many ioyfull monthes and yéeres together If thy iourney were to such purpose and could worke such supernaturall effectes in thy olde father his body Medea her medicamentes restored to olde Aeson his youth againe as the charmes of Medea and her medicinall spelles did vppon olde Aeson then would I say that by iust pietie thou wert instiged and would highly commend this requisite pittie and although it would séeme repugnaunt to my will yet would I wishe and allowe of this deuotion in thée and exhorte thée to the performaunce of it But such a miracle passing the lawes and boundes of nature can neuer come to passe according to thy naturall reason as thou knowest well enough Behold then if perhappes thou shewest thy selfe more cruell and rigorous to mee then I beléeue or imagine thou wilt or doost so little care for me whome on thy owne mere choyce and not by compulsion thou hast looued and yet doost that aboue my looue thou wilt for all this aduaunce the lost and helplesse charity of the olde man take some pitty at the least of thy owne estate and caring little for him and bemoning me lesse rue thy owne condition whom if first thy countenaunce and afterwardes thy wordes haue not deceiued me I haue séene to be more deade then aliue as euen nowe thou werte without perceiuing me that did marke thée by some vncouth accident is a most extreame and sorrowfull passion and depriued once of my sight By long greefe and sorrow men dre and debarred of my company doost thou beléeue to lyue so long tyme as this pittilesse pittie dooth require Alas for the looue thou bearest to the Goddes looke better to thy selfe and sée what likely hoode of death if by longe and lingring gréefe men dye as I sée it dayly by others this iourney ah this inopinate vnluckie iourney wil yéeld thée which how harde moreouer and vnpleasaunt it is to thée thy sorrowfull sobbes and teares and the vnwoonted moouing of thy heart which panting and beating vp and downe in thy breast I féele doo plainely shewe And if not apparraunt death which is most like a worser and more cruell condition of life then any death be assured will accompany thée Alas that my enamored hart vrged with great pitty that it hath of my owne distresse constrained by that tender cōpassion which I féele for thée must now play the humble suppliaunt to pray and intreate thée and to aduise thée also that thou wouldest not be so fond what kind of pittie soeuer moouing thée therunto as with euident iminent daunger to hazard thy safe persō Who looueth not himselfe possesseth nothing in this world Why thinke that those who doo not looue them selues possesse nothing in the wide world Thy father of whom forsooth thou art so pittifull did not giue thée to the world because thou shouldest be thy owne minister and occasion of taking thy selfe away out of it againe And who dooth not beléeue but that if our estate were as manifest or could be lawfullie tolde vnto him that he being wise and of mature iudgemēt and experience would rather say Stay there still And if discretion and reason would not pitty at the least would induce him to it and this I am assured thou knowest wel enough It is therfore great reason that what iudgment in his own tried cause he hath giuen he should and is most likely that he wold in our cause if he knew it giue also the very same Wherefore omitte this troublesome iourney vnprofitable to thée vnpleasaunt to me and preiudiciall to vs both As these my dearest Lord are reasons forcible enough if followed to keepe thée from going hence so are there many more not a little effectuall if put in practise to dehort thée from going hence as fyrst for example cōsidering the place whether thou goest For put case thou doost bende thy iourney thether where thou wert borne thy natiue soyle and naturall countrey and a place belooued more of thée then any other as I haue heard thée say in certaine thinges annoyous and for certaine causes hated of thée Because thy Citty as thou thy self hast told is ful of haughtie boasting wordes but more replenished with pusillanimous and vnperformed déeds And that they are not onely slaues to a thousand confused lawes but to as many different oppinions as there are men All which as well forriners as Cittizens naturally contencious and full of garboyles doo dayly rage in ciuill broyles and intestiue warres And as it is full of proude couetous and malicious people so is it not vnfurnished of innumerable and intricate cares the least of which is I know most contrary to the good disposition of thy quiet minde Naples But this noble Citty which thou doost intend to forsake I am sure thou art not ignoraunt with what ioyfull peace it dooth continually florishe how famous it is for plenty of all commodities how opulent shining in glory and magnificensie how heroycally administred vnder the sole regiment of a mightie and inuincible king All which thinges I knowe if euer thy appetite I haue knowen are most pleasant to thy daintie tast It is some times lawful to praise ones selfe And besides all these rehersed pleasures here am I here am I Panphilus whom thou shalt neither find there nor mayst liue within any other place Leaue of therfore thy sorowful determination chaunging the vnaduised counsell into better consideration haue regard I
in whose poynts and edges consisteth the onely hope of my desires Or els strangling cordes lothsome and swelling poysons mortiferous hearbs choaking ryuers burning coales and consuming flames What doth this vigilant care auaile thée anie more but to prolong a little this yrkesome life and to reserue it to that kinde of death which euen nowe without touch or staine of infamie might haue set peace to my afflicted soule which by thy pittilesse interruptions deferred thou shalt doubtlesse at one time or other make most infamous vnto al the worlde and moste shamefull vnto mee Because death is in euerye place and consisteth in euery thing Let me therefore nowe die least growing to a more gréeuous condition of life with a more inhumaine minde and cruell hand I prepare for my selfe the most miserable and cruell death that may be Whylst wretched Womanne I spake these wordes I coulde not keepe my handes styll but sometimes fallinge on one Seruaunt and sometimes on an other catching some by theyr locks I pulled the heayre from theyr heade and fastening my nayles in the faces of other some I made the bloode to spynne out of theyr cheekes tearynge from othersome their poore garments from theyr backs But alas neither the olde Nurce nor the mangled seruauntes aunswered me one word againe but lamenting my sencelesse actions executed their pittious functions towardes me whom then with gentle wordes and entreties I endeuoured to gaine to my will which serued my turne nothing at all Wherefore lyke a franticke Hecuba making a great noyse and with outragious spéeches I beganne to exclaime saying O wicked handes and prone to al mischéefe you the adorners of my hurtfull beauties were a great occasion to make me become such an one as to séeme so fayre and pleasing in his eyes that I was desired of him whome I looue most of all Since therefore these euilles haue spronge by your helpe in guerdon of this vse now your wicked crueltie vpon my accursed body Rent it in péeces and open it and diued in my hotte blood pull out from my accursed bodie my miserable heart and inexpugnable soule Teare out I say this false hart wounded with blind looue And since that all meanes of mortall and murdering instrumentes are taken from thée with these reuenging fingers the adorners of my banefull beauties and with these sharpe nayles péece-meale dismember and without remorce of pittie rent it out Alas that my bootelesse spéeches did menace and promise me desired euilles and commended them to the execution of willing handes but the vigilant care of the prying seruantes béeing alwaies ready to the hinderaunce of them withhelde them against my will And the mournefull and importunate Nurce with dolefull speeches after all this beganne thus to say Affectionate comforts O déerest daughter by these miserable breasts which were the scources of thy alimentes I humbly pray thée that with a quiet and appeased minde thou wouldest giue eare to my wordes By them I will labour to mittigate thy passions that thou shalt not sorrow any more or to driue quite away perhapes from thée the blinde anger that dooth incend thée to this kinde of furie or else with a more remisse and calme minde to make thée suffer the same or else spéedely to forsake it Wishing thée to reduce that to thy erred memory that shall reuiue thée and be no smal health and great honour vnto thée It is therefore expedient for thée good Ladie most famous for so rare vertues as thou art endued with al the gifts of nature and fortune not to be subiect to pinching sorrow nor as a woman ouer-come to turne thy backe from daring dollours from threatning mishappes and from persuinge woes It is not a poynt of vertue to require death and to call vpon it nor a parte of magnanimitie to be afraide of life It is not vertue to desire death and to be afraid of life as thou art but rather to countermaund pressing euilles and to flie away before them is not the part of couragious and resolute mindes Whosoeuer dooth abate his destinies and dooth contemne deuide and cast from him the profittes pleasures contentes and goodes of his life as thou hast don I knowe not what néede he hath to séeke death and cannot tell why he feareth life since that the one and the other is a will of a timerous persō Now if into the darke dungeon of extreame misery thou doost desire wil-fully to cast thy selfe séeke not death because this is the last expeller and extinguisher of it Let this foolish fury fly out of thy mind by the which mée thinketh thou doost séeke both to haue and to lose thy loouer Why doost thou beléeue by béeing dissolued into nothing to get him againe To whom I aunswered not a word But there was such a rumour spread thorow out the wide house thorow out the Cittie and country rounde about that all my seruauntes no otherwise then at the howling of some hungrie woolfe all the néerest inhabitauntes are woont to méete together came running to me from euerie place and all of them afrighted with sodaine sorrow demanded what the matter was But I had already forbidden them that knew it to tell any thing at all Wherefore couering the horrible accident with a cunning lie they rested all satisfied My déere husband made hast thether and my louing sisters my carefull parents and fréends with panting fainting breasts came running to me And euery one of them equally deluded with a false tale did instéed of a most wicked woman repute and praise me for a holy Saint And euerie one after much wéeping first reprooued my life punished with so much sorrowe labouring afterwards to comfort me vp againe But from thence foorth it fell out that some beléeued that I was haunted and stinged with some fury and therefore like a madde woman continually watched mee But some more pittifull then the rest marking my mildnes and iudging it as it was indéede but a certaine gréefe of minde with taking great compassion of me laughed at that which the rest both dyd and sayd And visited thus of many I remained euery day more amazed then other And vnder the discrete garde of the sage Nource I was closely kept And as there is no anger so burning or so extreame All anger with time is brought to nothing but by course of time is made colde againe So remaining certaine dayes in this case as I haue set downe I came to my selfe at last againe and did manifestly know the Nurces wordes to be true And with bitter teares therefore I bewailed my passed follies But yet although that the heate of my rage in time was spent and became nothing my looue neuertheles did not one whitte decrease but taried with me still by reason of the melancholie vsed in other accidents before which now continually I had taking it gréeuously at the hart to be forsaken for the vniust looue of an other woman Wherefore I conferred with
with some sodaine death ended my loathed life so that by these meanes I might haue deliuered my selfe from these paines and sorrowes as she dyd her selfe which afterwardes by defaulte thereof dyd continually cleaue in sunder my afflicted hart After these miserable thoughtes and the ruthfull chaunces of vnhappy Heroe of Sesto came to my minde whome mee thought I sawe comming downe from her highest Tower to the Sea bankes and rockes where she was wont sometimes to méete and receiue her welbelooued and wearied Leander into her armes And euen there againe mée thinks I se her with what a pittifull pale countenance she beheld her loouer lying dead before her Sorrow ceaseth when hope is past to regaine the thing which is lost driuē first on shore by a fréendly Dolphin al naked souced in brinish waters laid along vpon the Sea sands wiping with her garmentes the salte water from his pale visage and drowning hym the second time with the flowing streames of her swelling teares Ah what great pittie dooth her cruell passages finde in my sorrowfull mind More truelie then any of those of the foresayd ladyes and sometimes so much that forgetting my owne woes I did wéepe and lament for hirs And lastly cold I conceiue no meanes for her cōfort but one of these two either to die or else to forget him as other dead men haue béene In taking eyther of which her sorrowes I thinke might haue easilie béene finished Considering that no lost thing in recouering of which againe there is no hope lefte can gréeue vs any long time But yet the Goddes forbidde that this kinde of comfort should happen to me which if it did come to passe no counsel in such a case should auaile but that which perswaded me once to a resolute and hasty death For during the time that my Panphilus liueth whose lyfe his happie starres and predominante planettes preserue as long as he himself dooth desire that cannot I hope nor shall not befall vnto me But séeing the enter course of mundane thinges in continuall motion this beléefe is added to my hope that in the end or else perhappes before he shall returne and be mine againe as once he was which lingering hope not comming to effect dooth howerly make my life gréeuous and irkesome vnto mée And by thus much therfore I estéeme my selfe oppressed with greater sorrowe then she was I remēber that in French méeters to which if any credite may be lent I haue sometimes read that Sir Tristram and Lady Isotta haue more then any other loouers French Rimes mutually and feruentlie looued each other and with their chaunging delightes haue had great misfortunes and aduersities enter mingled euen in the floorishing and brauest time of theyr youth who because loouing greatly togeather they haue tasted both of one ende it séemes most credible that not without extreame sorrowe and bitter gréefe on bothsides they forsooke their worldly delightes Which may be easilie graunted if in abandoning this world they thought that in the other the same could not bée found or had But if they had this opinion that they were as ample and common in the other as they had in déede then it is to be thought that death had rather aforeded them some great content and ioy then any sorrow and feare at all For what certaintie of gréefe may one giue with testimonie of a thing which he neuer prooued None at all truely In Syr Tristram his armes was his owne death and the death of hys Lady also For if in embracing her body so straightly and loouingly it had gréeued her at all in opening his armes againe the payne no doubt had ceased And yet for all this let vs admit and say that it is by great reason most fearefull and gréeuous to tast of what gréefe can wée say to be absolutely in a thing that dooth come to passe but onely once and which dooth occupie but a little space of time Certes none Sir Tristram therfore Isotta in one hower ended their delightes dollours The continued time of my stretching gréefe and lasting sorrowe hath without comparison greatly excéeded the breuitie of my enioyed myrth and ioyes But amongest the number of these foresayd loouers my minde did thinke of miserable Phedra who with her voluntary and aduised furie was the occasion of his most cruel death whom she loued more then her selfe I knowe not truely what dammage great inconuenience did follow her of such a great fault but I am certaine if the like had euer happened to me there had bene nothing but violent death that might expiate the guilt therof but if she liued she buried him afterward in darck obliuiō as commonly all thinges as euen now I sayd are wont to bée forgotten by death And besides these sorowes which Laodamia Deiphyle Argia Euadne Deianira and many others felte followed hers in my scanning thoughts all which eyther by violent death or by necessary obliuion receiued some comfort at last Fier the lōger it remaineth in any thing the more it burneth And who doubteth that burning fire red hotte iron and melted leade dooth not gréeuously burne and scalde his finger who dooth but sodainely dippe it in and dooth quickly pull it out againe Why none I thinke And yet this is nothing to that extreame payne whose whole body is in eyther of these tormented and plunged for a good space togeather wherfore how many soeuer I haue described aboue in woes sorowes paynes the same may be said to be but a momentarie while in their superficiall and counterfeite gréefes whereas I haue really felt them continually béene in them and am not yet frée from them Wherefore all these foresayd woes in respect of mine haue béene but amorous annoyaunces But besides these miserable women the no lesse sorrowful teres powred forth of those who with the vnexpected brunts of cruell fortune haue béene confounded came before mine eyes And these are those of Iocasta Hecuba Sophonisba Cornelia and Cleopatra O how much myserie considering well the miserable successe of Iocastas looues doo we sée befallen vnto her in all her life time possible enough to haue daunted and troubled the most stout and strongest minde For she being very young was maried to Layus King of Thebes who commaunded that her first childe should be throwen out to be deuowred of wilde Beastes the miserable Father thinking by this to haue preuented that which the heauens and his ineuitable destinies with infallible course had prepared for him O what a gréefe must I néedes thinke that this was to her soule considering the degrée of her that sente it and that with her owne handes she was constrained to deliuer and to sende it to a cruell kinde of death and afterwardes certified by them that caried her vnfortunate infante of his mangled and deuoured corpes with what intollerable gréefe she beléeued that he was deade indéede And to see her haplesse Husband most miserably slaine of him
small time did make them appeare no otherwise to my fancies then if they hadde béene true indéede Sometimes mee thought hee was returned Dreames represent many times those things which are beloued and that in most fayre Gardens frée from all suspicion and feare decked with gréene leaues swéete flowers and diuers kinds of pleasant fruites I sported and played wyth him as other times we did accustome to doo And there I holding him by the hande and hee mee vnfolding his fortunes good and badde and telling all his accidents vnto mee mee thought that many times before hee had perfectly tolde out his tale with often kissing I didde interrupt him in his delightfull discourses And as if the same hadde béene true indéede which but with fained eyes I did contemplate I said And is it true swéete Panphilus that thou art returned againe Certes it is For héere I haue thée And then I kissed him againe Mée thought that other times wyth great sollace I was walking with him vp and downe the sea banks And sometimes my imagination was so strong héerein that I did affyrme it with my selfe saying Well now I doo not dreame that I haue him betwéene mine armes O howe it gréeued me when it came to passe that my pleasant dreames and swéete sléepe were both ended which going away did continually carie that away with them which without any trouble or gréefe to him I must néedes confesse did oppresse me And although that I remained in great melancoly by remembring of thē liuing neuerthelesse al the next day in good hope I was somewhat content and eased desiring still that night would quicklie drawe on because I might in my sléepe enioy that which waking I could not attaine to And although my sléepe did sometimes yéelde mee such néedy fauours notwithstanding it did not permitte mee to receiue such dreames of pleasure mingled without much bitter and poysoned galle of sorrowe because many times me thought I sawe him apparelled with ragged and forlorne garments besmeared all ouer I know not with what foule and blacke spottes and very pale and fearefull as though hee had béene pursued of some cruell enemie with shrikes and outcryes calling to me Helpe me Oh my Fiammetta helpe me Other tymes me thought I hearde diuers talke and mutter of his death And sometimes these fantasies of horror perced so farre into my minde that me thought I sawe him lie dead before me and in many other vncouth and pittifull formes so that it neuer came to passe that my sléepe was of more force or greater then my gréefe Wherefore sodainely awaked and knowing the vanitie of my dreame as one contented yet but to haue dreamed these terrours and terrible daungers I thāked the Goddes Things sene in dreames are some times true or else figures of true thinges remaining yet some what troubled in minde and fearing that the thinges which I had séene if not in all in parte at least they had béene true or else figures of true thinges to come Neither I was content at any time or perswaded by the contrarietie of these although I sayd with my selfe and heard of others that dreames were but vaine vntill I did heare some newes of him of the which I beganne now carefully and warely to enquier after And in such sorte as you haue heard fayre Ladyes I passed away the tedious dayes and irkesome nightes attending one still after other in their long course But the trueth is that the time of hys promised returne approching I déemed it the best and safest counsell to lyue merely in the meane time by which meanes my beautie a little altered and decayed by reason of this long vnacquainted gréefe might returne againe into her proper place because at his arriuall I might not séeme ill fauored and not gratious in his sight and so might not perhaps please his deinty and curious eyes Which was not harde for mée to doo because being since his departure accustomed and well acquainted with sorrowes it made mée endure and passe them away with verie little trouble or no payne at all And besides this the néere hope of his promysed returne made mée euery day féele a little more ioye and content of mynde Wherefore I beganne to frequent to feastes againe not a little while before intermitted of mée ascribing the occasion thereof to my obscured and clowdie dayes perceauing nowe the cléere and newe times to be at hand Nor no sooner dyd my mynde contracted earst with most bitter and pynching gréefes beginne to dilate and enlarge it selfe in such a pleasaunt and ioyfull life but I became fayrer then euer I was before And I trimmed vppe my gorgeous and rich vestures made my precious ornaments fayrer no otherwise then a valiaunt Knight at armes dooth cleare and make bright his Compleate Harnesse challenged to some worthye and famous combatte because I myght seeme more statelie and brauelie attyred with them at hys returne the whych as after it fell out in vayne I dyd attend As then therefore these actions were chaunged into an other tennour so dyd my thoughtes also chaung theyr coppie Vaine thoughts of loouers It came neuer nowe into my minde that I coulde not sée hym when hée departed nor the remembraunce of the sorrowfull signe of hys smytten foote agaynst the doore nor any thought of stynging and enuious iealousie nor hys susteyned troubles nor my suffered toyles nor his daungers nor my dollours did now molest my peace but rather dayes next before the ende of hys promysed returne I sayd to my selfe Nowe it dooth gréeue my Panphilus to bée long from mée and perceiuing hys time néere according to his promise dooth make short preparation and hast for his spéedy returne And now perhappes hauing left his olde father he is on his waie Oh howe pleasaunt were these wordes vnto me and how often dyd I most swéetly deskant vpon this note thinkinge many times with my selfe with what kinde of most loouing entertainement gratious gesture and swéete and fréendlie shewes I might at the fyrst represent my selfe vnto his personne and welcome him Alas howe many times sayde I to my selfe At his returne he shall be more then a thousand times imbraced of me and my zealous kisses shal be multiplied in such store that they shall not suffer one right and perfect word to come out of his mouth and I will make restitution of them a hundred times redubled which at his departure without receiuing on his parte any againe he gaue to my pale and halfe deade visage And in these kinde of thoughtes I doubted many times with my selfe that I could not bridle that burning and feruent desyre that I should then haue at the first sight of hym to embrace hym if I did perhappes sée him in open an publique companie But the vngentle Goddes as you shall hereafter perceiue found out a sorrowfull meanes which perswaded no feare doubte or mistrust of the due performaunce of any such circumstaunces and ceremonies denying
so strongly perswaded of theyr trueth that I turned my breake brayne thoughts into pittifull prayers to the deuine powers that they would take the same from mée apprehending them so forciblie in my mynde and no more nor lesse then if before mine eyes I had séene his imminent daunger and instaunt death And sometimes I remember that with fyrme beléefe I bewayled hys woefull ende as if I hadde séene any of these intellectuall aduersyties indéede But afterwardes I sayd to my selfe Alas what straunge causes are these which my miserable thoughtes cast before my eyes The Goddes forbydde that any such may befall Let him stay still and as long as pleaseth hym and let hym rather then to content mee or to offer hym selfe to any daungerous ieopardie whych may chaunce indéede though nowe they doo but delude my troubled wyttes not returne nor sée mée at all All which perilles though they are indéede possible yet are they impossible to bée kept close béeing most lyke that the vntimely and violente death of so noble and famous a younge Gentleman as hée is cannot longe bée hydden and concealed especiallie from mée of whose estate and welfare I doo carefully cause and with secrete and subtyle inuestigations doo continually procure dillygent enquirie to bée made And who dooth doubte moreouer if that any of these supposed perrilles were true but that flying Fame Fame a swifte reporter of ill thinges the swift reporter of ill newes would haue long since brought the maner of hys death hether By meanes of whych fortune but my least freende in thys would haue giuen mée an open waie to haue made mee the most sadde and most sorrowfull woman that might be Wherefore I rather beléeue that he remaineth in as great gréefe as I am in if that his most willinge returne is forbidden onely by the heauy commaundementes of his father and therefore he will come quickly or else excusing hys staying so long will for my great comfort write to me the occasion thereof Truely the foresayd thoughts although they did fiercely assault mee yet were they easily enough ouercome and the hope which by the terme determined was enforced to flie from me with all my power I did retaine laying downe before it the long and feruent looue which he bare vnto me and I to him his pawned fayth the adiured and sacred Goddes and his infinite teares in which thinges I did affirme and thinke it impossible that any deceite or guile might be hidden But yet I could not so rule my sorrowfull minde but that this hope thus forcibly kept must néedes giue place to many vagrant and vaine thoughtes that were yet left béehinde which driuing hereby little and little out of my woefull brest did worke amayne to returne to theyr former places reducing eftsoones to my minde diuers prodigious signes and tokens and many other vnfortunate accidents And I did scarcely perceiue the peaceable hope being almost quite expelled out of my heart but I did immediately féele theyr mighty and new forces planted in her place But amongst all other murdering thoughtes that did most of all massacre my gréeuous soule hearing nothing at all in processe of manie dayes of my Panphilus his returne was sharpe and stinging iealousie Ah this spitefully galled and wounded my breast more then I was able to endure This did dissanull all excuses which I had made for him as knowing and consenting to the occasion of his absent déedes This did often times induce me to those spéeches condemned of me before saying Alas how art thou so foolishe to beléeue that eyther the looue of his father vrgent affayres or delightfull pleasures maie now kéepe Panphilus from comming hether if he did looue thée so as once he sayd he dyd Dost not thou know that Loue doth ouercome all thynges Loue doth ouercome all things for he hath feruently perhaps enamoured of some other Gentlewoman quite forgotten thée whose pleasures béeing as forcible as new doo hide and hold him there as somtimes thine did kéepe him here Those foresaid Ladies passing gracious in euery thing they doo and as thou saydst in euery poynt moste apt to loue and with braue allurements endeuouring to bee beloued againe hee himselfe béeing likewise by the delicate purenesse of his cléere complexion naturally inclined to such passions and for many rare and commendable qualities in him most worthy to be beloued applying their whole studyes to hys seruice theyr paynes to his pleasures and hee his desires to their deuotions haue made him become a new Innamorato Art thou so assotted with the fame and glory of thine owne beauty that thou doost not beléeue that other Women haue shyning eyes in theyr heads fayrnes in theyr faces and that they are not as full of courtly behauiour good graces and all things els that may commaunde yong mens mindes as well as thou art And dost thou thinke that they are not so skilfull who are alas a greate deale more then euer thou werte in these amorous attempts as thou art Why thou art deceiued And if this be thy beléefe it is false And dooste not likewise beléeue that he on the otherside can please more then one Woman But yet I thinke that if hee coulde but sée thée it would bee a harde thing for him to loue any other But since he cannot sée thée nor hath not séene thée these many monethes how canst thou déeme otherwise then so Thou must néedes knowe that no worldly accident is permanent and eternall for as he was enamored of thée as thou didst please him so is it possible that another may like him and he abandoning thy loue may affectionate some other New things alwaies please For newe things are euer wont to please a great deale more thē those which are daily séene And euery one dooth with greater affection desire that which hee hath not then that which he hath already in his owne possession Againe there is nothing be it neuer so delightful which by long time enioying vsing the same doth not ware yrkesome at last and of lesse if of none account at all Who wyll not moreouer sooner and more willingly loue a faire new Ladie at his owne house then one whom he hath long since serued in a forraine Countrey and vnknown place He did not also loue thée perhappes with so feruent and zealous affection as he made thée beléeue And neyther his teares nor any of his passions were to bee helde so déere and so sure a pledge of such great loue as he did still affyrme and as thou didst thinke that he did beare thée Many men also departing from their beloued are tormented with anguish gréefe of mind with bitter waylings taking their wofull congies swearing déepely and promising many things profoundlie which with a good and firme intent perhaps they meane to performe but some suddaine and newe chaunce controling the same is an occasion to make them forget al their former oathes and protestations The teares
could doo none other visite or desire to goe to them My face béeing on the suddaine become leane and pale caused so many maruailes doubts and sadnes in my house that euery one talked diuersly of the same And looking and lyuing in thys pittifull case and making semblaunce that I knewe of nothinge I remayned the most pensiue and the most sorowfull woman that might be My doubtfull thoughts did draw on and waste most part of the day vncertaine whither I might resolue my selfe to myrth or moane But séeing the nights fitting best my vnpleasant humours and finding my selfe alone in my Chamber after hauing first lamented my woes and talked manie thinges with my selfe stirred vppe and inspired as it were with better counsell I turned my deuout prayers to Venus saying Fiammettas prayer to Venus O singuler beautie of the Heauens O moste pittifull Goddesse and most holy Venus who in likenesse of thy selfe in the beginning of my anxieties diddest appeare vnto mee in this Chamber Aforde me now some comfort for my great gréefes and by that reuerend and internall loue that thou diddest beare fayre Adonis mittigate my extreame paines Beholde what tribulations I suffer for thée Beholde howe manie times the terrible Image of death hath béene presented before mine eyes The Image of death terrible Behold if my pure faith hath deserued so much paine as I wrongfully sustaine Béeing but yong and not knowing thy darts I suffered my selfe at thy firste pleasures and without denyall to become thy subiect Thou knowest how much good thou didst promise me and I cannot truely denie but that I haue enioyed some part thereof but if thou wilt comprehend these sorrowes which thou diddest giue me as part also of that good then let Heauen and earth perrish in one howre and let all lawes like vnto these be adnihilated and made newe againe with the world But if they séeme vnequall in thy sight as I hope they doo then let O gracious Goddesse thy promise be fulfilled because thy holy mouth may not be thought or saide to haue learned to dissemble as mortall mens doo Sende forth thy Sonne wyth his golden arrowes and wyth thy firebrandes to my Panphilus where he doth nowe remaine so far distant from mee and enflame his hart in such sorte if peraduenture for not séeing me so long time it is waxen too colde in my loue or too hote with the present beauty of an other that burning as I doo none occasion whatsoeuer may with-hold him from comming backe againe Because taking againe some comfort and ease vnder the heauie burden of these calamities I may not so quickly die O most fayre Goddesse let my wordes sounde into thy eares and if thou wilt not sette him on fire pull out of my poore hart thy wounding Darts because I may as well as he spende my dayes without such great gréefe Wyth thys forme of prayers although I sawe theyr effects but vaine yet thinking that they were hearde I did with small hope somewhat lighten my torments beginning new thoughts I said Oh Panphilus where art thou nowe Ielious thoughts Alas what dooest thou hath now the silent night surprised thée without sléepe and with so many teares as it hath taken holde of mee Or doth thy yong spouse perhaps not hearde of me at all holde thée in her armes or yet without any remembraunce of me doost thou swéetly sléepe Alas how may it be that Loue can gouerne two Louers with so vnequall Lawes bothe louing so firmely as I am too assured that I doo and as perhaps thou doost I know not But if it be so that these thoughts do occupy thy minde as they doo ouercome mine what wycked prysons or mercilesse chaynes doo hold thée that in breaking of them thou doost not returne to mee I know not certes what might stay me from going to thée vnlesse my beautye which woulde without all doubt be an occasion of my vtter shame and a great impediment to me in all places did not onely kéepe me backe What busines soeuer and what other occasions of stay thou diddest there finde shoulde bee by thys ended and nowe thy Father shoulde haue glutted himselfe with thy daily companie who is I knowe and for whose death the Gods know I doo continually pray the onely occasion of thy stay there And if not of this at the least of robbing thée from me he was vndoubtedly the onely cause and means But I feare me poore soule that going about to pray for hys death thou dost prolong his life so contrary are the Goddes to thy requestes and so inexorable in euery thing I craue of them Ah let thy loue if it be such as it was once wont to be conquere their opposite force and come againe Dost not thou thinke that I lye sadlie all alone a great part of the tedious nightes in the which thou diddest once beare me faithfull company though accompanied I must néedes confesse with millions of martyring thoughts Alas howe manie long Winter nights lying a colde without thée in a great and sollitarie bedde haue I passed heauily away Ah call to thy forgetfull minde the sundry kindes of these pleasures which in manie thinges we were wont to take togeger remembring which I am then certain that there is no other Woman able to deuide thée from mee And this beléefe doth make me as it were more surer then any other thing that the newes of the new spouse are but false which if they were true yet she cannot I thinke take thée from mee but for a time Returne therefore and if swéete delights haue no force to draw thée back againe let the desire which thou hast to deliuer her whom aboue all other Women thou louest from suddaine and shamefull death perswaded thée to bee reclaimed Alas if thou wert now returned I hardly beleeue that thou couldest know me againe for so hath excéeding sorow and anguish of mind extenuated and altered my former and faire countenaunce But that which infinite teares hath taken from mee a short gladnesse in séeing thy swéete face shall quickly restore to me againe and I shall be once again that Fiammetta which I was before Ah come Panphilus come because my hart doth still call vpon thée suffer not the flower of my yong daies to perrish in dole altogether prest for thy delights and vowed to thy pleasures I knowe not alas with what modestie I could bridle my suddaine and excéeding ioy if thou werte here againe but that vnmoderatly it should be manifest to euery publicke personne Because I doubt and iustly that our loue with great wisedome and patience a long time concealed might not bee perhaps discouered to euery one But yet wert thou come to sée and to try whither ingenious lies could as well take place in prosperous euēts as in aduerse crooked accidents Alas I wold thou wert for all this come and if it could not be better then let euery one that would knowe it because I woulde thinke
sayd Nay I am rather content if in possessing an euill there is any cōtent at all to haue loued faithfully Returning therefore with mine eyes and thoughts to the wanton behauiour and amorous actions of these yonge Louers I reaped some small comforte by their sundry fancies And when I did perceiue that any of them didde loue more feruently then the rest I did more commend with my selfe such well meaning Louers And hauing thus a long time with an earnest minde behelde them I began softly to say with my selfe O thrise happy and fortunate are you who are not depriued of the sight and sence of your vnderstanding as I am Alas howe was I wont heretofore as you doo nowe to sollace my selfe with these indifferent recreations Long may you enioy your felicity since I alone must remaine an example of scorne and a patterne of myserie to all the worlde If Loue at the least making mee discontent with the thing beloued of mee shall bee an occasion to shorten my dayes then shall it followe that with a tragicall death as Eliza did I wil eternish my euerlasting fame and memory And hauing thus saide I helde my peace and went againe to note those countenaunces gestures actions with which these louing Nouices professed Louers No feast de lighteth where the thing beloued is not seene and retyred Souldiours did diuersly studie to please their dainty Ladies and Gentlewomen Oh how many haue I eftsoones séene in like places who after a great while hauing looked in euery place about for their desired ioyes and not séeing nor finding them déeming and reporting the feast not halfe so pleasaunt by reason of their absence nor so delightsome with halfe angry and very sad countenaunces haue gone from thence againe Wherevppon some little laughter although it was but féeble and weake in the middes of all my melancholye dumps was permitted to take place and a little comfort also graunted to them perceiuing that I had company in my sorrowes measuring in this sort by mine owne miseryes other mens mishaps Then thus disposed most déere Ladies as my words doo shew the delicate bathes the weary hunting and the Sea bancks hadde glutted my queasie minde with all kind of pastimes and cloyed it with superfluities of feasts Wherfore dismasking my old former countenance and discouering the smoake of my choaked sighes and the losse likewise of my appetite to my meate and sléepe to my deceiued Husbande and not caring to manifest to the appointed phisitions of my health these incurable infirmities bothe hée and they disparyring as it were with thēselues of my life we returned againe to the Cittie In the which the condition of the time preparing many and diuers feastes it framed also with thē diuers occasions of my manifolde gréefes wherfore it came many times to passe that to the solēnising of new espousalles I was especiallie also inuited as béeing by parentage néere of kinne to them or els by auncient familiaritie fréendship or neighbourhood acquainted otherwise with them To the which also my Husband oftentimes constrayned mee to goe thinking by these meanes to preuent the ordinarie course of my melancholy fits or els somwhat to ease my mind so greatly infested by them Wherupon I was at such times vrged to take again my forsaken ornaments and to put my neglected hayre iudged of all men before to shine like gold but not vnlike nowe to ashes in the finest order I could wherin I was not to learne howe to doo it And remēbring my selfe with a more déepe consideration Appassionated yong Gentlewomen care not how to adorne thēselues whom these fine thredd 's of gold besides all other beauties were wont to delight with a new froward passiō I did disturbe again my fantastical mind which made me somtimes so much forgett my selfe that I remember that no otherwise then called backe againe from a déepe sléepe or raysed out of an extasie taking vp again the combe that was fallen out of my handes I returned to my careles vnwilling office And taking some assured counsel in my Glasse of the setting foorth of these ornaments with which I had adorned my selfe And séeing my face to looke very pale and greatly dis-figured and déepely therewithall apprehending in my minde my lost and altered beautie I was almost in a doubt whither it was my face or no which I sawe in the Glasse but imagining rather that some infernall and hidious furie stoode by me turning my selfe about I did veryly thinke and feare that it was behind me But yet after that I was tricked vp very braue cleen contrary to the quallitie of my minde I went with other gentlewomen to those solemne sumptuous feasts in which raigned nothing but mirth ioy and all manner of mery and pleasant recreations Merrie I terme them in respecte of others because as he knoweth from whom nothing is hydde there was neuer any since the departure of my Panphilus which was not an occasion to me of most heauy chéere matter of continuall sorrowe Béeing therefore come to the places appoynted for the honors of such marriages although that in diuers places and at diuers times celebrated yet they neuer sawe me otherwise disposed then to remaine stil at one stay which was bearing a counterfette countenaunce of content and a fayned face as well as I coulde of merrynesse with my inward minde altogether occupied with subiects of sorrow deriuing the occasion of this sadnes gréefe as well from ioyfull and pleasaunt things which I sawe as from sorrowfull and vnpleasant passions which I felt But after that amongst other Ladies and Gentlewomen I was with great honor receiued my mind not intentiue vpō new fashions nor mine eies desirous to gaze vppon braue ritch attire wherwith al the place did shine but with a vain imagination deceiuing thēselues thinking perhaps to haue seene Panphilus there as oftentimes in like places they had doone before they went rolling vp down casting their beames in euery place round about and not séeing him as one nowe most assured of that of which I was at the firste probably perswaded like a woman confounded in mine owne foolish cōceit I sat me down with the rest of the Ladies refusing the profered curtesies and offered honors for whose sake he béeing now absent they were wont to be most déere vnto me And after that the new Bryde was come home and the magnificent pompe vsed at the Tables was ended and euery one with his passing daintie cates and heauenly Nectar bad chéered vp their frollicke mindes as diuers braue daunces sometimes directed by the tuned voyce of some cunning and singuler Musition and othersome ledde and footed by the sounde of diuers swéete instruments were begun euery place of the espousall house resounding with a generall applause of myrth and ioy my selfe because I would not be accounted coy and disdainful but ciuill rather in such an honorable assembly and well manered hauing gone somtimes about
there in hell neuer so much tormented wyth endles payne that séeing these thinges coulde not but féele some respectiue ioy Why not one at all I think For they rauished with the swéetnesse of Orpheus his harpe forgotte for a time their cruell paines and torments But I sette in the mids of a thousand torments and placed amongst a thousande ioyes and continually exercised in many and sundrye kinds of sports cannot I say burie my gréefe in momentary obliuion nor asswage and lighten it be it neuer so little a while And put case that sometimes at those feastes such like I haue with an vnfained and true countenaunce hidde it and haue giuen respect to my tedious sighes in the night afterwards when I did finde my selfe all alone I did prolong not pardon any part of my teares but didde powre out rather so many of them as the day before I had spared and kept in scalding sighes And these thinges inducing mee to more pensiue and percing thoughts and especially in considering their vanities more apt and possible to hurte then to helpe as by proofe of them I doo manifestly knowe the feaste béeing finished and my selfe going from it and not wythout cause complayning and waxing angrye against these vayne shadowes and all other worldly showes I beganne thus to say Oh howe happy is that innocent man who dwelleth in the sollitarie village enioying onely the open ayre The prayse of a solitary life Who employing his sole care and labour to inuent subtill ginnes for simple beastes and to make nettes for vnwarie birdes with gréefe of mynde can neuer be wounded And if perhappes he suffer any great wearines in his body in casting him selfe downe vpon the gréene grasse incontinently he refresheth him selfe againe chaunging his place sometimes in the freshe riuer bankes and sometimes vnder the coole shadowe of some great woode where the chirping birdes with theyr prettie songes and the softe trembling of the greene leaues shaken by some pleasaunt and little wynde as staying themselues to harken to their siluer notes lull him swetlie a sléepe Ah Fortune haddest thou graunted me such a lyfe to whome thy desired giftes are but a cloging care and detriment it had béen better for me Alas how my high Palaces sumptuous beddes treasure and great familie any thing profitable and how little pleasaunt vnto me when my mind surcharged with ouer much anxyetie and wandring in vnknowen countries after Panphilus cannot haue any small rest nor when any comfortable respiration may be graūted to my wearied and breathlesse soule Oh howe delightfull and gratious a thing is it to presse the gréene and swéet bankes of the swift running riuers with a quiet and frée mind and vpon the naked turfes to fetche a sound and vnbroken sléepe which the glyding riuer with murmuringe bubles and pleasaunt noyse without feare dooth nourishe and maintaine These eases are without any grudge graunted to the poore inhabitaunt of the countrie village fréely to enioye and are a great deale more to bée desired then those toyes which with many flattering words I haue often times fawned on and haue with such dilligent and daily care embraced as the fine dames of the Citties vse commonly to doo and which at last with the carelesse coyle of the tumultuous familie or negligentlie broken His hunger if at any time perhappes it pricke him with geathering of Apples in the faythfull and secure woodes hée dooth driue away and manie young and tender herbes which the wyde Champaignes or little hilles of theyr owne frée will bring forth are also a most sauorie and swéete sustenaunce vnto him Oh in how many running brookes Christalyne fountaines and swéete waters lying downe all along may hee quench his thyrste and with the hollowe of his hande in cléere and streming riuers Ah wicked and pinching care of worldlings for whose sustentation nature dooth require but little dooth prepare light things We thinke with the infinite number and sundrie sorts of delicate vyandes to fill the gourmandise of our bodies and to please our queasie appetites not perceyuing at all that in them there lie hidden the very causes by meanes of which the ordinate humors and good bloode are euer more corrupted then nourished And how many times in cuppes of gold and siluer richlie garnished with gemmes and precious stones in stéede of swéete and delicious wines doo wée daily heare that colde and swelling poysonnes are tasted and doo howerly sée that in hotte wines and compound drinckes licentious vnbrideled and wicked lust is drunke and throwen headlong down Whereupon commonly they fall by meanes of these into a superfluous securitie which by wicked wordes or damned déedes dooth bringe to them a miserable lyfe or dooth paye them home with a most contemptible death seeing moreouer by daily proofe that these kinds of vnkinde beuerages make the drinkers bodies in a great deale worser Poeticall conceites and more miserable case then starke madde The Satires Faunes Driades Naiades and the Nimphes kéepe him faithfull and simple company Hée dooth not knowe what Venus dooth meane nor cannot skyll of her byformed Sonne And if hée dooth perhappes knowe her hee perceiueth her beautie to bee but base and little amyable Nowe alas would it had pleased the Goddes that I had lykewise neuer knowen it and that kéeping simple and playne company I had lyued a rusticall and rude lyfe to my selfe all alone Then should these vncurable gréefs haue béene far from me which I now sustaine and my soule The pompe of the world like to the winde together with my most holy name should not haue cared nor desired to see these worldly pompes and feastes lyke to the flying windes and vanishing smoke in the ayre nor if it had séene them should haue béene so full of anguishe and sorrowe as now it is The desire of hygh and princely towers of rich and sumptuous houses of great families and costly traynes of fayre and delicate beddes of shining cloathes of golde and siluer of pampered proude and swifte horses and of a thousand other superfluities of nature dooth neuer disturbe his temperate minde nor clogges his heart with buderning and burning care to kéepe them Not accompanied nor sought after of wicked men he dooth without feare liue in quiet and sequestred places and without séeking doubtfull rest in high and stately lodginges dooth demaunde onely the open ayre and light for his repose And of the manner of his lyfe the wyde firmament is a manyfest and continuall witnesse Oh how much is this life nowe a dayes vnknowen and lyke an enemie escheued and contemned of euery one whereas it should be rather as the déerest and swéetest content followed and embraced of all Truely I suppose that the fyrst age of the world lyued in this sorte which péese-meale brought foorth Goddes and men There is no lyfe alas more frée nor more deuoyde of vyce or better then this the which our first fathers enioyed and with which also he is this
of my loouing heart and engrafted him false woman in thine And yet I knowe that it is so But with such content and so mayest thou looue and liue I wishe as thou hast made me to doo And if perhappes it be to hard for him to fall in looue the third time then let the Goddes deuide your looues no otherwise then they did dissolue the Grecian Ladies and the Iudges of Ida or as they did disseuer that of the young man of Abydas and of his vigillant and sorrowfull Heroe or as they did breake of those of the miserable Sonnes of Eolus bending their sharpe iudgement onelie against thée he himselfe remaining safe O naughty woman thou must néedes haue thought viewing wel his come lie face that hée was not without some Lady and loouinge Mistresse If thou dyddest therefore suppose this which I knowe thou diddest imagine with what minde diddest thou practise to take that away which appertained to an other with an enuious and fraudulent minde I am sure Wherefore I will as my mortall enemie and wrongfull occupier of my goodes pursue thée euermore and as long as I liue will nourishe and preserue my life with hope of thy shamefull and cruell death Maledictions of anen amoured woman The which I wishe may not be so common and naturall as to others it is but that tourned into a lumpe of massie leade or Ixions heauie stoane tyed about thy necke thou maiest bee cast into some déepe and darke caue amongest the middest of thy enemies murdering handes and that neyther fier or funerall be graunted to burne and burie thy torne and massacred members but béeing pulled in péeces and scattered abroad they may serue to glutte the hungrie mawes of howling dogges and rauenous woolues Which I pray after they haue deuoured thy softe and tender flesh may for thy naked bones fiercelie iarre and cruellie fight one with an other so that gréedelye gnawing and breaking them in péeces with their whetted téeth they may liuely represent thy wicked praie and thée delighted with thy gluttonous rapine which in thy detested life time thou diddest fowlie committe There shall not escape one day not one night no not one hower but my readie mouth shal be full of endlesse curses Sooner shall the Celestiall Beare plumpe downe into the Ocean and the raging waues of Sicilian Caribdis shal be quiet and the barking Dogges of Scylla shal holde their peace and ripe Corne shall growe in the waues of the Ionian sea and the darkest night in her chéefest obscuritie shall shine like Titan his beames and water with fire death with life and the Sea with windes shall sooner with breachlesse faith bée at turce and make concorde togeather before I will reconcile and establishe a péece with thée vile monster of woman kinde But rather whilest golden Ganges shal be hote and Istrus colde and while highe hilles shall beare sturdie Okes and the softe and watred medowes gréene grasse so long foule brothell will I bée at continuall warre and defiaunce with thée which neyther mortall hatred nor death shall determine but pursuing thée amongest the deade gostes and fiendes of Hell with all those tormentes that are vsed there I wyll continuallie plague and eternally punishe thy damned soule for thy condemned and hatefull déede But if perchaunce thou doost suruiue mée whatsoeuer the manner of my death shal be and wheresoeuer my miserable Ghost shall wander from thence perforce I will labour to take it and entring into thy lothsome bodie wyll make thée as madde as the Virgins after they had receiued Apollo Or else comming in thy sight broade wakinge thou shalt sée mée in a most horrible shape and in thy fearefull sléepe oftentymes will I awake The virgins that is the deuiners and afright thée in the vncomfortable silence of the darke night And bréefely in whatsoeuer thou goest about or doost I will continually be a horrible obiecte to thy wicked eyes and a griping corsiue to thy hellishe heart and then remembring this cruell iniurie I will not suffer thée to bée quiet in any place And so long as thou lyuest with such a hideous furie my selfe the onelie worker of it thou shalt be continually haunted And when thou arte deade I wyll minister occasions of more dirie stratagems vnto thy miserably ghost Alas poore wretched that I am to what end are my botlesse words prolonged I barke and threatē thou doost bite hurt me and enfolding my beloued Panphilus betwéene thy vnworthy armes doost care as much for my menacing and offensiue wordes as high and mightie kings for their inferiour and impotent vassailes and no more then conquering Captaines for their confounded captiues Alas would I had now Dedalus hys arte or Medeas Cotche because making wings by the one for my shoulders and being caryed in the ayre by the other I might sodainely alight there where thou doost basely hide and nestle thy selfe with thy stolen loone O how many thundering wordes and what threatning inuectiues with bended browes would I cast out against that false youth and against thée vniust robber of an others felicitie O with what villanous termes would I reprehend your detestable follies And after that I had amazed appaled and attainted your wicked faces with a shamefull blush with recitall of these vnshamefull faultes I would then without delay procéede to sharpe reuenge and taking thy haire false enchauntresse in my handes with pulling and renting them and drawing thée héere and there by thy tresses before thy perfidus loouer I would glutte my swelling anger and tearing thy garmentes from thy disgraced body with reprochfull tauntes I would triumphe ouer thée mall apart and wicked traytresse Nor this should not suffise mee to fulfill my due anger nor be halfe enough for thée to expiate thy odious crime but with sharpe nayles I would disfigure that painted visarde which so much pleased his false eyes leauing an eternall memoriall of their caracters and reuenge in it And thy miserable body with my gréedy téeth péece-meale I should shyuer leauing the which afterwardes vnto him that dooth nowe flatter thée to heale againe my selfe ioyfull for parte of so small vengeaunce would hie me home againe to my sorrowfull habitacles Whylest I spake these wordes with fyrie sparkeling eyes with closed téeth and with bended fist as though I had béene at the very action it selfe I remained a prettie while silent and me thought I had indéede played one Pagent of my gréedy reuenge But the olde Nurce with mournefull voyce lamenting sayde thus vnto mée O daughter since thou doost now know the furious tyrannie of this passion which thou callest thy God who dooth this molest thée temperate thy selfe and bridle thy pittious complaintes And if the due pittie which thou shouldest take of thy owne selfe dooth not mooue thée héereunto The care of her honour must warne euery wise woman frō vaine thoughts deedes let the regarde of thy honour perswade thée to it which for an olde
but euery part of the same ouercome with quaking feare did not suffer me but I fell suddainly downe againe not once but thrise vpon my face in which occurrant I felt a fierce warre betwéene my angry soule and my timorous and vitall spirits which by maine force did kéepe it still that faine would haue flowen away But my soule at last ouercomming them and driuing away colde feare from me suddainly kindled me with a hote and burning dollour and so I recouered my wandred forces againe And yet my face morphewed with the pale colour of death I violently rose vppe and as the sturdy Bull hauing receiued some mortal pricke fiercely runneth vppe and downe beating and tormenting him selfe euen so hellish Tesiphon gadding madly vp and downe before myne eyes made me like a frantick and mad Woman and not knowing mine owne fancies cast my selfe from the bedde vpon the grounde and ledde by this infernal féende I did runne towards the stayres that went vp to the highest part of the house And hauing in a trice leaped out of the Chamber with most extreame lamentations and carelesse lookes viewing euery part of the house at last wyth a hollow and féeble voice I sayd O most vnluckie lodging vnto me remaine thou héere for euer and make my fall manifest to my Louer if euer hee returne againe And thou Oh déere Husbande comfort thy selfe and from hence forwarde séeke out a newe wyfe but a more wyse louing and more loyall mate thē Fiammetta hath béene vnto thée O my déere Sisters Parents and all the reste of my other companions and fréendes wyth all ye my faithfull Seruaunts lyue yée héere styll with all the fauoure that the Goddes may affoord you The goodnes of God oftentimes doth not suffer wicked determinations to come to effect Thus like a madde Woman with sorrowfull words I did hasten to my wicked ende But the olde Nurce as one by some suddaine feare awaked out of a slumber careleslye leauing of her worke at the whéele greatly amazed at the sight of this spectacle lifted vppe her aged body and crying as loude as euer she could made poste haste to followe mee who with a horce voyce and scarcely vnderstoode of me said O daughter whether doost thou run what madde fury dooth driue thée forwarde Is this the fruite that my wordes as thou saydst by the receiued comfort of them did put in thy breast Whether goest thou Tarry for me alas Afterwardes with a lowder voyce she yet exclaimed O yée yong menne and seruaunts of the house come come quickly take away this fonde Woman and kéepe her backe from her furious actions and desperate intent Her vociferations were of no force and their hast lesse spéedie And me thought I had Mercury his winges fastened to my shoulders and that swifter then Atlanta nay then any wynde I did flye to my violent death But of vnexpected chaunces appending as well to good as to wicked purposes one alas was an occasion to make me still enioy this lothsome life Because my long garments wauing and blowne abroade with the force of my hasty flight and fréendly enemies to my furious pretence my selfe also not able to refraine my course were fastened I know not howe to a shyuered poste by the wall as I was running and interrupted my swift passage which for all the striuing and pulling that I could doo did not suffer me to leaue any péece of them behinde me Wherefore whilst I was labouring to vndoo them the sorrowful Nurce breathlesse and panting came vppon me to whom I remēber with taynted chéekes full of burning anger and with outragious outcryes I said O miserable olde woman pack from hence in an euill howre if thy life bee déere vnto thée Thinking to helpe me thou doost hinder me in not permitting me to execute this last mortall duety resolued therevnto and spurred on with an eager desire to cut in sunder the webbe of all my woes Because whosoeuer dooth let one from dying that is disposed desirous and resolued to die Who doth hinder one that is disposed to die he himselfe doth kill him doth no lesse then kill him himselfe Wherfore thou art now become my homicide thinking to deliuer me from death and like the greatest enemy to my quiet rest doost endeuour with thy thanklesse office to prolong my sorrowes My tongue exclaimed and my hart burned wyth ire and yet thinking to haue loosed my garments in hast I dyd entangle and fasten them more and more which as soone as I had founde out the way to vndoo I was immediatly helde and staied by the noise of the clamorous Nurce so that by her féeble forces and hanging vpon me I was greatly disturbed of my purpose But vnwynding my selfe at last out of her handes her strength had profited her nothing at all if the yong Seruants and Women at her continuall exclamations had not come running from euery part of the house and force perforce had not stayed me Out of whose handes with much strugling and diuers frisks and with greater forces also the desire of death adding strength to my mighty wyll I thought to haue vngrappled my selfe but breathles at the last and ouercome by them I was carryed backe againe to my Chamber which once I thought neuer to haue séene againe How many times alas with lamentable and bitter spéeches did I chyde them saying O vile and base Seruants what boldnes is this that makes you so mallepart and what precipitate presumption is this that mooues you so rudely and so roughly to handle her whom you should reuerence and contrary to your duety thus violently to lay hands and grype your Mistresse to whom you should be most obsequious and of whose welfare you should be most carefull and at whose will and pleasure you should be most dilligent and ready What kind of furie madde wretches hath enspyred you to this rash dealings And thou wicked Nurce the cruell example and meane of all my miserable gréefes yet to come why hast thou repugned my last desseignes Why dooest not thou knowe that in procuringe and helping forwarde my death thou haddest doone me a greater pleasure and a better turne then in with-holding me from it Wherefore let this miserable part be playd and let the ende of my tragical life be duely accomplished by me and if thou louest me as I thinke thou dooest leaue mee to mine owne wyll leaue me I say to mine owne selfe to represent the last pagiaunt of my dolefull life And if thou art so pittifull and carefull ouer me as thou shewest employe thy piety and studie in sauing my doubtful fame and honor which after my death shal stil suruiue Because in this péece of simple seruice with which thou doost nowe hinder me thy practise payne and néedelesse labour shall proue at length but vaine For doost thou thinke to take from me those sharp tooles and cruell poynados wyth which I will at last broche this miserable hart of myne and
otherwise doo in this sorte as you shall heare I passed away my melancholie times I say therefore that martired with these continuall anguishes and considering well of others who haue not béene exempted from the lyke the painefull looues of Inacus his daughter who being first a tender and delicate damsell and passing loouely and beautifull did séeme liuely to represent me came to my minde and afterwards her great good happe and happy felicitie in that she was not meanely belooued of mightie Ioue Which thing doubtlesse cold not be of her onely but of euery womā also accompted a great glory and praise Afterwardes considering howe shee was metamorphised into a Cowe and how by the seuere commaunde of iealious Iuno she was kept of vigilant Argus I did iudge her to be beyond all measure tormēted with great anxieties and gréefe of mind And certes I am of opinion that her gréefs did greatly excéede mine if that for her company comfort she had not had sometimes the assistance of her loouing God And who dooth doubt if I had the swéete company of my loouer who might any time haue helped me in these ruthfull passions or that he had but sometimes taken any little pittie of me that any woes whatsoeuer coulde haue annoyed me so as they haue continually doone Bedes this her ende made her passed and approoued sorrowes very light Because Argus being killed by her loouers messenger and she transported lightly with her heauie body into Egipt and returned there to her owne shape againe and maryed to Ostiris she sawe her selfe at last installed in the Emperiall diademe and like a happy Quéene to sway the regal scepter of Egipt If I could but thinke or hope though in my olde age to sée my Panphilus once againe I would say that my gréefes were not to be compared with the sorrowes of this Lady But the Gods onely knowe if this good fortune shall euer happē to me or no howsoeuer with false hope in the meane time I delude and flatter my selfe The greater part of these fables are in Ouide Next to her the vnfortunate looue of Biblis is represented vnto my thoughts whom me thinke I sée forsake all her wealth ioy and pleasure to followe vnflexible Caunus And with these I bethinke my selfe also of wicked Mirrha who after the detested fruition of her odious looues flying from her angry Father who pursued her with menaces of iust death plunged also into that misery I behold also dolorus Canace who after the miserable byrth of her incestious conceptiō looked for nothing lesse but death And thinking well with my selfe of their seuerall sorrowes I dyd doubtlesse estéeme them to be extreame although their looues were but filthy and abhominable lustes But if I am not deceiued I sée them all ended or else in shorte space to be terminated Because Mirrha flying away hauing the Goddes pittifull of her paines and aunswerable to her desires was with delay transformed into a trée of her owne name And shee neuer after although it dooth continually destill Amber teares as shee dyd at the very instant when her forme was changed felte any of her former paynes and playntes And as the occasion of her sorrowes dyd aryse so the cause of theyr pryuation was not also wanting Biblis likewise as some say without any longer delay ended her dolefull daies with a cruell halter admitte that others holde that by great fauour of the Nimphes who did commisserate her harde destinies she was turned into a fountaine of her owne name till this day yet kéeping the same And this befell to her when she knew that Caumus denied her her desires and scornefully reiected her companie and with frowning browes reprooued her wicked sutes What shal I say in shewing my owne paines greater alas then those that molested Biblis more gréeuous then those that Mirrha had but that the breuiety of them hath had no small aduantage ouer the length of mine Those therefore well considered the pittifull looues of haplesse Pyramus and Thisbe were next obiected to my remembraunce of whome I cannot but take great compassion imagining them both to be young and with great trouble many sorowes to haue burned in each others looue and labouring with mutuall presence to haue reaped the fruite of theyr feruent desires which with vntimely death and in shorte time were equallie dissolued O what a pittifull thing is it to thinke what gréefe pearced poore Pyramus his hart when in the silent time of night finding his déere Thisbes robes bloody and torne of the wild beast at the foote of the Mulbery trée néere vnto the foūtaine and appointed méeting place by these dismall vnexpected tokens he surely thought that she was deuoured The sheathing certes of his own sword in his inpatiēt breast did shew it manifestly enough Afterwards discoursing in my minde the wounding thoughtes of miserable Thisbe beholding her loouer wallowing in his owne goare and pāting yet with declining life I thinke them to be so gréeuous and imagine her teares also to be such burning droppes that I can hardlie beléeue that there were euer any myne owne excepted that dyd torment and scalde more then hyrs Wherefore these two as it is now sayd in the very beginning of theyr gréefes and looues dyd ende the very same O thrise happy soules if that in the other world as in this their perfect and firme looue dooth still remaine inuiolate And so the paynes cares and infinite woes of all theyr former looue could not be equiualent with the delightes and content of their eternall company After these the gréefe of forsaken Dido entred with greater force and déeper consideration into my minde because her condition did of all others most resemble mine I imagined how she was building of Carthage and studying with great Maiesty to dictate lawes in Iunos temple to her new people And how she gaue bountifull entertainment to Aeneas a straunger vnto her by enuious tempests of the Sea weatherbeaten and cast vpon her Libian shores and how she was enamoured of his braue personage and passing vertues and at last howe she committed both her selfe and all hirs to the disposition and pleasure of that Troyan Duke Who hauing vsed her royall Pallaces at his pleasure and soaked himselfe in all manner of delices in her countrie she being euery day more and more enflamed with his looue abandoning her at last departed from thence O how much without compare did she séeme miserable in my conceite beholding her looking from her highest turrettes towards the sea couered with disankred shippes of her flying and vnpittifull loouer But I iudge her more impatient then dollorous when I thinke of her cruell death And certes at the first departure of my Panphilus I felt in my oppinion the very selfe same gréefe as she did on the sodaine endure at the sayling away of false Aeneas O that it had so pleased the Goddes that I as vnable to endure my gréefe as she was hers had
whom hee had engendred in her owne bowels and that she her selfe afterwards espoused to her vnknowne Son had by him foure children And so how almost in one howre she sawe her selfe mother and wife to this wicked Parricide whom after shée had perfectly knowne when she sawe him depriued first of his eyes and last of his kingdom and how his execrable fact and detested life was published to the whole worlde In what miserable plight her soule was then oppressed nowe wyth manie yéeres which were rather desirous of repose then méete to be diminished with restles anguish shee may well thinke and iudge who hath béene tossed with the greatest or with like gréefes of minde But yet her dispiteous and cruell Fortune heaped vppon her extreame misery greater and more bitter woes For séeing the yéerely entercourse successiue raigne of her two Sonnes with mutuall compositition deuided betwéene them And afterwardes the faithlesse brother pynned vppe in the Cittie and séeing the greatest part of Greece vnder the regiment of seauen Kings lastly after manie blooddie battailes consuming fires myserable spoyle of Virgins wiues and goods When shee behelde one of her prodigious Sons vnnaturally to embrew his sworde in his owne brothers blood and when her Husbands Sonne driuen out and exiled into an other Kingdome she sawe the auncient and olde walles of her noble Cittie builded firste by the swéete harmonie of Amphitrion his Cythern pittifullie ruinated and beaten downe And howe her late florishing kingdome was miserably diuided and vtterlie dissolued and hauing hanged her selfe left perhaps her Daughter in a most ignominous and shamefull life What coulde the angry Goddes the world froward Fortune and the malicious Hagges of hell haue conspired more against her Nothing certes in my opinion For let that gastly place be surueyed and euery torture therein duelie considered and yet I hardlie beléeue that there coulde not in the same such extreame torments and paines be founde Wherefore I approoue and say that euery least particle of her anguish and of her fault to be most gréeuous and no lesse impious And as there is no woman that would iudge that my gréefe were not to be compared to the greatnes of this so truely would I also say had not mine béene amorous For who doubteth but that she knewe séeing the abhominable crymes of her wicked house and of vnnaturall Husband worthy of the condigne anger of the Goddes that duely scanned these aduerse accidents these horrible accidents to be meritorious punishmēts for such heynous guilt and barbarous impietie None truely that would iudge her to be in her right witts And if she were but a foole shee felt her gréefes the lesse because not fully knowing the waight of them they could not so greatly gréeue her And whosoeuer knoweth her selfe woorthy of such calamities troubles that she endureth with little gréefe or none at all shee resolueth with her selfe more patientlie to passe them away But I neuer committed anie thing wherewith the Gods might iustly be offended with me hauing with continual offerings honored them and with holy victimie besought their diuine graces neuer despysing their Godheads as in times past the Thebanes most wickedly did But perhappes some one may well obiect and say Howe canst thou affirme that thou hast not deserued punishment or that thou hast not committed anie fault Why hast thou not violated the holy lawes and with an adulterous youthe defiled thy marriage bedde yes truely But if this matter bee well propounded as I haue not my selfe onely doone thys cryme so dooth it not deserue I thinke so greate punishment and such gréeuous paynes Because shée must thinke that I being a tender yong Gentlewoman was not able to gainesaye and resiste that which the strongest menne in the world nay the Gods themselues coulde not doo And as I am not the first that hath committed such a fréendly fault so am I not alone and shall not bee the laste but hauing almost all Women in the worlde my companions in this excusable errour I am not so greatly to bee condemned for the same And those lawes which I haue infringed are of common course wont fauourably to pardon a multitude My fault moreouer as it was most secrete so it shoulde not therefore be so seuerely and thorowlie punished A secrete fault is halfe pardoned And besides all this Say that the Goddes were iustly stirred vppe to wrath against mee and did seeke to giue mée sharpe corrections for my great offences were it not a greater parte of iustice and more reason to punish him who was the occasion of my fall Nowe whither burning and lawles loue He that is the occasion of sinne ought worthely to be punished or Panphilus his rare beauty braue personage and quallities induced me to corrupt the sacred lawes of wedlock I know not but knowing too too well that both the one and the other were of most great force to torment me most stranglie So that this nowe did not happen by the sinne committed but is rather a newe gréefe and sequestred from the rest more cruelly cruciating the patient and sustayner of it then anie other The which moreouer if the Goddes for my committed offence had giuen me they shoulde doo contrary to theyr right iudgment and accustomed manner in that they should not with the sinne recompence the punishment which béeing compared to the due paynes of Iocasta and to her deserued defaults and considering mine owne errors and the seuere punishment which I doo suffer for the same shee must néedes be saide to be but slightly punished and my selfe with too rigorous chastisement and vnmeasurable paine to be corrected Nor let not any take holde of this that shee was bereaued of her Kingdome depryued of her Sonnes despoyled of her Husband and last of all of her owne life and I but onely of my Louer All which truely I confesse But spyghtful Fortune caryed away with this Louer all my felicitie though that which perhappes in other mens sight and iudgment was accounted happines hath stil remained with me and which is cléene contrarie to my desires Because my Husband my parents my riches and all things els besides are a most gréeuous burden vnto mée and nothing congruant with my wished content Which things if she had taken from me as she did my Louer there had thē remained a most open way for me to haue fulfilled my desires which vndoubtedly I would haue followed By which if I could not haue brought to passe my wil then were there a thousand kinds of deathes readie for me to haue rydde me from all my woes and miseries Wherefore I iustly thinke that my paines are much more greater then any of the foresaide Hecuba Me thinkes that next after these I sée Hecuba cōming to my minde passing sorrowfull in her countenaunce who escaped from that generall ruine and suruiuing onely to behold the dolefull and destroyed Reliques of so goodly a kingdome the subuersion of such an
admirable Cittie the cruell death of so Princly a Husbande of so many renowned sons and most faire daughters to sée the destruction of so manie magnanimious Nephewes valiant Cosins and Allyes the rapine of so great riches the hauocke of infinite treasure the spoyle of so manie Virgins the rauishment of wiues and of all sorts of Women the extinction of such excellencie the losse of so many Kinges hewed and slaine right downe such blodie massacres and pittiful stratagemes of the dismayed and betrayed Troyans the impietie perpetrated in the Temples polluted battered and made plaine with the ground and the indignitie and irreuerence doone to their dishonoured chased Goddes And séeing her selfe to be olde and sorrowfully recalling to her wounded minde what mighty Hector was what valiant Troylus what doughtie Deiphobus what her yongest darling Polydore and the shyning vertues of manie noble men more and howe vnfortunatlie shee sawe them all die remembring also howe the generous bloode of her late mighty and maiesticall Husbande was cruelly shed in her own lappe before the holie Aulters and how she saw fatall Troy whilome reared vppe to the skyes with stately Towres famous for magnificent buildings full of princely Pallaces and very populous with noble and worthy Cittizens consumed with deuouring flames and wholy rased frō the earth And besides all this the pittifull sacrifice of her fayre Daughter Polyxena offered vppe by vnpittifull Pyrrhus to the shadow of Achilles Oh with what excessiue greefe and anguish of minde must we néedes thinke that shee behelde all these thinges But short was the sorrowe which her olde and féeble minde not able to endure the same wandering out of her right course made her madde as her barking complaints amiddes the fieldes and woods did plainely shew But I with a more firme and perfect memory then is néedefull for such woes to my great gréefe doo continually remaine in my sorrowfull and sound witts and doo discerne more and more the preposterous occasions of my present woes and of my future sorrowes Because my manyfolde harmes enduring longer then hers I thinke them be they neuer so light to be more gréeuous as I haue many times said then the greatest and most sensible paines which is ended in a short time Sophonisba equally participating the aduersities in her Widdowhoode Sophonisba and the ioy of her mariage in one selfe same moment almost of time iocande and sad an honorable and glad spouse and a poore prisoner inuested and despoyled of a Kingdome and finally in these shorte alterations of tottering Fortune drinking her fatall poyson full of anguishe and deadly gréefe appeareth next vnto my thoughts Behold her sometimes a most high and famous Quéene of the Numidians afterwards the martiall affayres of her Parents and fréends hauing but an aduerse and lucklesse issue her Husbande Siphax taken from her and become prisoner to Massinissa King of Marsilia warring vnder the Romaine Ensignes and her selfe in one howre depriued of her Kingdome and prysoner also in the mids of her enemies Campe Massinissa afterwardes making her his wife and she restored to the same againe O with what despight gréefe and bitter anguishe of mind doo I beléeue that shee sawe these thinges succéede abruptlie one after another Nor yet secure of her voluble and flattering Fortune with howe heauy a hart did shee celebrate her newe espousalles which gréefes and extreame myseries with a tragicall ende at last and with a stout enterprise she did fully finish Because not one naturall day after the nuptiall rytes béeing yet spent and scarcely thinking with her selfe that she remained in the regiment and that she did beare the former sway of Scepter and warring thus within her selfe and thinking of the newe loue of Massinissa not framed well to her minde the olde loue of Siphax béeing not yet extinct with no trembling hart but wyth a bolde hande receiued the mortiferous poysonne which her newe Husbande sent her by her owne Seruaunt the fearfull messenger of her vntimely death and with certaine dispitifull and premised spéeches without any signe and token of feare in her resolute face druncke of the same immediatly after yéelding vppe her ghost O how bitter may one imagine that her life was if she had had any longer time to meditate and think of her death that did followe Who therefore is not to be placed but amongst those Women To think of greefe maketh it greater who haue béene but meanely and not much afflicted with sorow considering that her spéedy death did preuent her beginning woes where as mine haue continued with me a long time together and yet doo accompanye me against my wyll and are sworne to remaine styll wyth me to make themselues more mighty thereby with their vnited forces to infest more their vsurped habitation After her doleful Cornelia oppressed with infinit sorrow was obiected to my musing thoughts Cornelia whō smiling Fortune had exalted so high to make her the first wife of Crassus and afterwards great Pompey his spouse whose worthy valor had almost gotten him the chiefest principality in Rome attayned to the sole gouernmēt of all the Empire annexed vnto it Who notwithstanding-after that frowning Fortune changed her copie in maner of a fugitiue fled miserably out of Rome and afterwards out of all Italy her selfe also with her husbande béeing fiercely pursued of conquering Caesar And leauing her in Lesboe after many turmoyles of inconstant fortune ouercomming his puissaunt competitour in Thessaly by whose discomfiture and ouerthrowe hee recouered hys force and might againe which not long since by his valiaunt enemy was greatly abated And besides all this with hope to reintegrate and to renue his power in the conquered East floting vpon the surging Seas and arriued in the kingdoms of Egypt offering himselfe voluntarily to the defence and trusty tuition of yong King Ptolomie béeing there cruelly doone to death she sawe his embrued and headlesse troncke tossed and beaten vpp and downe the raging waues Which things if euery one by it selfe or altogether be duely considered we must néedes say that without al compare they afflicted most gréeuously her dying soule But the sounde and comfortable counsell of the sage Vtique Cato and the lost hope in these instabillities of Fortune to regaine her Pompey againe in a little time mittigated nay rather adnihilated her former sorrowes wheras I styll nourished with vaine hope not able by any counsell or comfort to driue away the same but by the simple aduise of my olde Nurce equally knowing of my sorrowes from the beginning in whose hart I knewe good will more ryfe then wysedome rype in her heade because beleeuing oftentimes to remedy my gréefe shee hath redoubled them doo euermore remain liue cōsuming my selfe in bitter plaints and confoūded in a thousand doubts and anxieties of minde There are also many Cleopatra who I think doo beléeue that Cleopatra Quéene of Egypt did suffer intollerable gréefe and that her paines
errour passed may lightly be stained with a newe shame Or at least with-holde these complaintes and outcries least that thy loouing husband perceiue not the indirect causes of thy dolefull plaintes And so for two causes he might worthelie be sorie and agréeued at thy sencelesse follie Then being put in minde of my husbande and thinking of the wronge and shame I had doone him mooued with newe pittie I lamented more sensiblie then I did before and discussing in my minde my corrupted faith and the holie lawes of wedlocke violated I sayd O most faithfull companion in my troubles my husbande may be sorie for little or nothing For he which was the occasion of my offence hath béene a seuere purger of the same I haue long since receiued a guerdon and am yet payed with to seuere a rewarde for my demerites My husbande could not imagine to giue me any greater punishment then that which my late loouer hath afflicted me with all Onely death if death be painefull as it is commonly sayd my husbande may annex to my other tormentes Let hym then therefore come and giue it me quicklie It shal be no paine for me to die but a wished pleasure because I greatly desire the same And it shal be more acceptable and welcome to me performed by his owne handes whome so greatly I haue offended then perpretrated by any others or by my owne If he doo not giue me it or if it dooth not voluntarily come vnto mée my troubled wittes shall finde out some speedie passage to it because by meanes of that Diuers punishments of damned soules compared to the paines of a loouer I hope to conculde all my sorrowe at once Huge hell the last and extreamest punishment of damned miserable soules in the most tormenting place of all hath not any tortrue so forcible or equall with mine Auncient authors alleadge and bring in Titius for an example of great punishment saying that his encreasing liuer is continually becked and deuoured of a gréedy vulture And certes though I accounte his paine not little yet it is not like to mine For if the hungrie Vulture féede vpon his liuer a hundred thousand thousand gryping and stinging gréefes continually gnawe my heart more then sharpe billes of any praying Byrdes They likewise affirme that Tantalus placed béetwéene cléere water and goodlie fruite dooth euermore dye for hunger and thirst My selfe alas put in the middest and swimming in all mundane delightes with affectionate desire wishing my loouer and not enioying him doo sustaine as much nay rather greter paine then he Because with neuer ceasing hope hée thinkes sometimes to tast of these freshe waters and ruddie Apples that hang on euery side about him But I dispayring nowe altogeather of that which I once hoped would haue béene my comforte doo neyther sée nor can excogitate any ease for my gréefe and loouing him more then euer I did by the alluring forces of an other woman and of his proper accorde also is so kept backe that he hath not onely cast me quite out of his remembraunce but that by meanes thereof I am debarred to entertaine the smallest hope that may be of my welfare for euer after And miserable lx ion also turmoiling eternally at his vnruly whéele doth not féele such cruell paine that it may be likened to mine Because my selfe shaken with continuall motions of furious madnesse by my aduerse fates doo suffer much more gréefe then euer he can doo And if the daughters of Danaus with lost labour doo continually power water into tubbes full of holes thinking to fill them I straine forth greater plenty of teares by the ouerflowing conduites of my eies drawen frō the hollow caue center of my heart Wherefore doo I trouble my selfe to recite these infernal tortures by one and one since that there is heaped in me a greater Chaos of miseries then any there deuided or conioyned And if I had no other kinde of anguish to cruciate my miserable soule that I must of necessitie kéepe my dollours secret or at the least conceale and hide their ofspring whereas they with lowde voices carelesse spéeches publique actions conformable to their sorrowes might discouer and manifest theirs by so much the more should my paines be adiudged greater and more gréeuous then theirs For alas how strong the restreined fire and how more violently doth it burne then that which hath ful scope and no obstacle to exhalate and throwe his flames abroad And how gréeuous a thing it is not to be permitted to speake one word of extreame sorrowe that dooth sensibly torment one and that it is not lawful to tel the annoious occasion of it but vnder the shewe of a merry countenaunce it is conuenient to hide it in the secret closet of an impatient painfull hart Wherefore not extreame sorrow onely Death a lightning of sorrowe but externall death shal be a lightning of my gréefe Let therefore my déere husband come and in one houre let him reuenge himselfe and ridde me out of these paines Let his vnsheathed sworde open my miserable and naked brest and let him in one instant with plenty of my bloode pull foorth my sorrowing soule and dissolue my infinit heaped woes and as my vile wickednesse dooth deserue let him teare this hart the retainer of these vile iniuries the principal deceiuer of his true affections and the chéefest receiuer of his feined fréend and secrete enemy After that the Nurce did sée me hold my peace and beginne to wéepe bitterly with a milde and lowe voice she beganne to replie Oh déere daughter what meaneth this which so frantickly thou speakest Thy words are as vaine as thy conceits more foolish I haue séene being now an old womā many things which haue passed in this world and haue daily knowen the order course of many ladies gentlewomens loues And although I am not to be accounted my selfe amongst thē yet neuerthelesse haue I once felt the secret poisō of these amorous darts which are more gréeuous sometimes much more troublesome to thē of lower degrée and of poore condition then to the nobler and higher personages when as all the meanes and passages to the attaining of their desires and pleasures are stopped and cutte of from them that are néedie and poore Whereas they at theyr will and with their wealth may breake an open way to heauen And the which thou sayest to be almost impossible and so gréeuous vnto thée I neuer conceiued nor felt to bee halfe so painefull and nothing so harde as thou doost make it Which gréefe although it be indéede very great ought not for all that to worke such effectes in thée as to consume and waste thy selfe in such woes and thereby to séeke thy owne death which more rashlie and furiously then by anie good motion of wisedome or argument of reason thou doost wishe for I knowe well that burning anger procured by furie is blinded and careth not to couer it selfe nor dooth
brook any bridle and dooth admitte no reason and is not afraide of death but rather driuen on headlong and vrged of it selfe it resisteth the mortall prickes of sharpe swordes But if thou wouldest let this anger of it selfe waxe somewhat colder I doubte not but thy kindled follie should be made manifest to that temperate and cooled part And therefore good daughter with patience sustaine his great force and giue place to his furie Wherfore note my words a little and settle thy minde vpon the examples Weake comâ—â—rtes which I will propunde vnto thée Thou arte with incessaunt anguishe of minde most sorowfull if I haue well perceiued thy spéeches for the long absence of thy belooued youth gon from thée and for his faithlesse fidelity for the second looue of his newe choice And being agréeued at these perhappes vncertaine and vniust iniuries recknest no paine like vnto thine But certes if thou wouldest be so wise as I do wishe thée thou shalt for ease of all these painefull accidentes pondering well my words receiue an easie an effectuall remedy The young man whom thou loouest ought without all doubt according to the lawes ordinances of looue to looue thée againe as thou doost him if he doth not hée dooth very ill and yet there is no force to compell him thereunto since euery one may vse the benefitte of his owne liberty as it pleaseth him best If thou doost loue him greatly and so much that thereby thou doost endure greate paine hee is not therefore to bee blamed nor thou canst not iustly be agréeued with him therefore considering that thou thy selfe art the chiefest cause of this For mighty Loue al though he be a great Lorde and his forces are ineuitable could not for all that against thy will place thy Louer in thy hart Thy vagrant witt and idle thoughts were the firste originalles of thy loue which if thou haddest effectually opposed with thy might these sorrowfull euents had not happened vnto thée as now they haue doone but as one frée froÌ„ such vncouth passions thou mightest haue mooued him and all others as he disporting himselfe with his new loue as thou sayst dooth now make but a iest of thée It is therfore necessary since that thou hast submitted thy libertye to hys Lawe to gouerne thy passions according to his pleasures and since he thinks it best to be farre from thée that thou coÌ„tent thy selfe and not repine thereat If with teares hée dyd vowe entire faith vnto thée and promised thée to returne he did not vse any newe thing héerein but an olde and common tricke practised out of memorye and performed euery day of most Louers And these are the prancks and many more such fashions of like consequence which are daily taught and learned in thy God his Court But if hee hath not kept with thée that faith promise there was neuer any Iudge that in decyding of this matter could say any more of it but that he did not well and would so acquite him thinking also with thy selfe that he should doo the like if any other strange loue or fortune had giuen thée ouer to such a breache of former faith as now thou shouldest and I doo wish thée to doo He is not also the first that hath doone so nor thou the first to whom like accidents haue befallen Diuers examples of those that forsooke their louers Iason departed from Lemnos from Hipsiphile and returned into Thessaly to Medea and from her afterwards to Creusa Amorous Parris went from the woods of Ida from Oenon and returned to Troy with faire Hellen. Theseus went from Creete from Ariadne and came to Athens to Phedra And yet for al this neither Hipsiphile Oenone or Ariadne killed themselues but reiecting all vaine thoughts buried their false Louers in darke obliuioÌ„ Loue as I said aboue doth thée no wrong at all or hath doone thée any more then thou thy selfe wouldest take He vseth his bowe and arrowes without any respect of persons as we may dailie sée by proofe And there are so many and manifest examples making so cléere on his side and for his manner of inordinate dealinges that none can worthely be agréeued at any badde successe which hee giueth and that can with reason almost bewayle the ordinary gréefe paynes and care which by his meanes and molestations his followers haue but rather complaine and lament their voluntary submission and be sorrowful for their franck consent which they yéelded to him For he béeing but a wanton naked and blind boy doth flye and alight he knoweth not where himselfe Wherefore to be sorrowfull for hys accustomed and indirect vsages to bewayle his vnkind and froward abuses to receiue no coÌ„fort by him or by no means to thinke to remooue him is rather a losse of wordes and winde The newe Woman who hath taken thy beloued in her netts or els whom hee hath with his cunning guiles ouercome and whom with so many reuenging words thou dost menace with her owne fault perhaps hath not made hym hers but he with his important sutes it may be and wyth his flattering and pittifull words great gifts and seruicable déedes hath wonne her to be his And as thou wert wonte not able to resiste his enchaunting prayers and to beholde his wofull teares so she perhaps as flexible by prayers promises and protestations as thy selfe could not endure them without some great pittie of his distressed and sorrowfull cause If he coulde so well by amorous complaints expresse hys hote desires and could so cunningly as thou hast tolde like a Crocadile whensoeuer it pleased him bewaile and lament then must thou cléerely know that teares ioyned with beauty are of great force to obtaine their request And besides this Say that the Gentlewoman with her sugred spéeches and gracious behauiour hath ouercome him why is it not a thing commonly vsed now adayes in the worlde that euery one doth séeke his own aduantage not hauing any regarde or care to an other his preiudice Euery one seeketh his owne aduantage but where and when he findeth euen there and then hee taketh as hee best may The good Woman as expert as thy selfe in these affayres knowing perhaps him to bee a cunning Knight in Venus Courtly battailes allured him therefore the more vnto her And who with-holdeth thée or what impediment hast thou to hinder thée that thou mayest not doo the like to some other which thing albeit I neither counsell nor commaund But if there can be no more doone then may bee and that of necessitie thou art constrained to follow Loue whensoeuer thou wilt pull thy necke out of his seruile yoke thou mayest quickly finde a great number of yong and lusty Gentlemen in this Cittie more valiant noble proper more worthy and more louing and a great deale more constant then hee is Who as I certainly beléeue to obtaine but the smallest fauour at thy hands that he hath had would gladly kisse the very grounde