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A75682 The holy breathings of a devout soul, in meditations, contemplations, and prayers Arundell, Thomas, fl. 1662. 1695 (1695) Wing A3899A; ESTC R43604 219,215 491

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beseech thee to perfect and accomplish that good work which thou hast begun in me for all my hope trust and confidence is in thee that thou wilt never leave me nor forsake me Ah Lord do not leave me to my self at any time for I shall undo in one moment all thy doings so great is my skill power strength mind and will to all evil against all good But O my God do thou continue to restrain my will and constrain it to thy will and to the faithfull and entire obedience of all thy Laws and divine Commandments Write thy Laws of grace in my heart and thy Statutes in my mind by the finger of thy holy Spirit and suffer me never through any temptation to depart from them but let them be a lanthorn to my feet and a light unto my paths to lead guide direct and govern me in the ways of righteousness and holiness that I may live the life of the righteous in the midst of this crooked froward and perverse generation Ah Lord suffer not the mountains of my sins nor the Rocks of unbelief to hinder thy mercies from descending into my Heart by thy holy Spirit nor my Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith Let thy mercies draw me and thy judgements drive me that I may run and not grow weary that I may walk and not faint Be O Lord my God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ a savour of life unto life to my Soul and of death unto death to my sins and let thy holy and most blessed Spirit of grace that knoweth thy whole holy and sacred mind and will lead me teach me direct me and instruct me in all the things I shall take in hand to do and give me O Lord I beseech thee those things and those things only that may draw me nearer and nearer unto thy self to make me thine and only thine that I may be wholly thine holy thine always thine and ever thine that living here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after death be made partaker of Eternal Life through Jesus Christ my blessed and alone Saviour and Redeemer for whom I desire ever to bless thee as the Lord my Righteousness and to whom with thy glorious holy and sacred Majesty thy eternal and blessed Spirit of grace be given and ascribed by me and all thine as all due is Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving Now and for Evermore Amen HEre follow my spiritual Soul-solaces Dictates or Gleanings of God's Spirit set down in order and from time to time as it shall please the Lord in his goodness love and mercy to frame and fit my heart unto With a Journal of several passages as shall hereafter befall me by Providence whereby I may as in a heavenly Looking-glass see know taste feel and be certainly assured of God's loving and mercifull dealing towards me and of my daily approach and bringing nearer and nearer unto my ●long wished and desired home of Heaven through and by the merits of my dear Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ there to sing for ever and ever Hallelujahs of Praise Glory and Thanksgiving unto his most Holy Blessed Eternal and Glorious Name Let O Lord the Meditations of my heart the Words of my mouth and the Works of my hands be ever acceptable in thy sight who art my Strength and my Redeemer SPIRITUAL MEDITATIONS Being the Gifts and Dictates of GOD's SPIRIT OR The Hearts Frame and Language that desires to be made Spiritual and to live spiritually 1. O God my God who art all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually therefore of thee in Jesus Christ do I humbly ask all things 2. Give me thy self O God and I will confess that I have all those things I ask 3. For unless thou givest me thy self I esteem that I have nothing though thou keepest nothing else from me 4. I know that there is no perfect perfection here and therefore we cannot live without sin but O most gracious and most mercifull Father lay them not to my charge but bury them all past present and to come in the grave of my blessed Saviour and Redeemer Jesus Christ 5. I will ever seek thee O God whom my soul loveth desire thee only and lay hold and depend on thee alone 6. Let O God the things of the world be unto me as I was unto thee whilst I was in the world out of thee even as a menstruous cloth and filthy rags 7. Thy mercies O God are the hid Treasures which my heart seeketh and longeth to enjoy 8. Thy love O Christ is much sweeter to my taste than the hony-comb and I desire it much more than gold yea above all the worlds treasure good and glory 9. I am sure I shall be able to rejoyce in and under any yea all afflictions if thou dost not afflict me O my God and my Father in Jesus Christ with thy absence 10. He is in heaven though on earth that doth truly love thee and only love thee and heaven is in him because thy love is in him because thou lovest him thy love O God being the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven the best of Heaven 11. Do unto me O God what thou wilt and do but only tell me that thou wilt it 12. Were I in hell for thy sake that is absent from thee I could and would rejoyce ●or it is my Heaven to please thee my God who hast and dost so much delight me 13. Let me be but esteemed in thy eyes Oh my Jesus my sweet my dear and pre●ious dear delight and I shall not value ●ut contemn all the ill looks of all others eyes 14. I had much rather be a Paul a Job or a Lazarus than a Solomon be ignominious all my days and honour my God always than be honourable all my days and dishonour my God but one day 15. Of all afflictions O God my God let not sin be my affliction afflict me not with sin for sin 16. A wounded heart a heart wounded with sin who can bear 17. What burthen so intolerably heavy as the burthen of one sin only if the Lord lift it not up with one of his fingers 18. I ask nothing in Heaven or Earth but God in Christ 19. God in Christ is all things for all things out of Christ are to me nothing he is my joy and my Salvation 20. I had much rather methinks be ever afflicted than never afflicted whilst on earth 21. Though by thy free grace O God thou hast in love and mercy brought me home unto thee yet thou hast used affliction as the means therefore do I love and k 〈…〉 the Rod because thou hast appointed it 22. I love affliction because it was the hand by which thou did'st O God lea● me out of affliction that is out of sin 23. I love affliction because by it thou hast taught me to love thee yea so to love thee as I love
Jesus 124. Let me O Lord so think on the world as to hate it more and more until thou givest me so much grace so to hate it as to think on it no more 125. Let me not O Lord live so long as to desire to be younger to live longer 126. But let me rejoyce in my age for that I am nearer the death of Sin and the life of Eternal Glory 127. Make me O Lord not only such as I desire to be but such as thou woul● have me to be which is I trust to be ● with thee and in thee 128. I desire O Lord not only to what I would be but what I should be 129. It is in thee O Lord to give things for thou art all things therefore thee do I humbly beg all things 130. Let me not live one moment long after I have done the work of my Genera● on that is not live for my self but ● thee O Lord. 131. Let my will O Lord be only to ● thy will to will thy will and to submit thy wills will 132. Let me be wholly thine holy thin● only thine always thine and ever thin● here in thy Kingdom of Grace and herea●ter in thy Kingdom of Glory 133. I had much rather have the punis●ment of Sin and not sin then the evil Sin and no Punishment 134. Ah how sweet is it to want th● worlds sweets and in its want to find n● want but even in want most to abound 235. O Lord thou knowest I desire no so much the world as to have my thought● and affections taken from the world 136. Could Heaven and Eternal life b● purchased for to choose and commit on● ●n willingly I would not purchase nor ●ave it on that condition but rather de●end on the love and mercy of God in Je●s Christ 137. I am sure God is my God because ●e hath given me a heart to fear him in love ●nd to love him with fear and trembling to ●ejoyce in his Statutes to desire to do his ●ill universally and to depend and trust ●n his sure mercies and faithfull promise in ●esus Christ 138. I am sure God did ever love me ●ecause I am sure he doth now love me ●nd therefore I am sure he will ever love ●e for where he once loveth he ever lo●eth and did ever love 139. I am sure God loveth me because ●e hath given me a heart to hate all sin uni●ersally with a sincere and perfect hatred ●oth in thought word and deed 140. I am sure God loveth me because ●e hath given me true conviction and sin●ere sound and unfeigned repentance from ●nd for all sin esteeming all exceeding sin●ll both the great and the small 141. I am sure God loveth me because ● delight in his ways and for that all my ●ongings and desires are to do all his will 142. I am sure God loveth me because find his Yoak easie and his burthen light 143. I am sure God loveth me becau● would not commit any Sin nor could I● willingly to get his love if I doubted o● 144. I know and am sure that God l●eth me because that I do most heartily a● sincerely desire to love him a thousa● thousand times more then my own self 145. I know God loveth me becaus● love him most for himself 146. I know God loveth me becaus● desire nothing so much as to be his faithfu● humble and obedient Servant 147. I know God loveth me because love every man especially such as I belie● love him and because their conditions wh● ever they be make none with me 148. I know God loveth me because love every mans Soul prosperity and ha●piness as my own and their bodies mo●then my own 149. I know God loveth me becau● those that have been and are still my En●mies in the flesh I love both in the fle● and spirit 150. I know God loveth me because do sincerely pray for the Souls and Bodi● of those whom I have cause to believe th● they hate me 151. I know God loves me because ● hate nothing but what he hates which is s● 152. I know God loves me because he hath thus changed my heart from hatred to love and hath made me to hate what I loved and to love what I hated 153. I know God loves me because I love all things for his Glory all things in subordination to him who is all things 154. Ah sweet Jesus give me so much love to love thee here on earth as thou lovedst me when thou wert here for I cannot ●elfe love thee enough nor soon enough 155. Ah that I had ever loved thee and never loved sin 156. Ah Lord give me this great grace of love that I may forget all other love forsake all other love and hate all other love that shall in the least hinder my love to thee or lessen my loving of thee for my soul desireth only to love thee 157. Thou only art lovely Ah my sweet Jesus and my only beloved 158. O Lord my God let my love to thee increase as my life shall decrease 159. And as I draw nearer to thee let me O Lord find thee more lovely and more and more to love me 160. Let me so love thee O Lord my Lord as I may love thee only serve thee only fear thee only and b● delighted r●vished and comforted in and with thy love 161. With thee O Lord I leave my s● as a token of my love A● give me thin● and let us never change 162. The love O Lord I have for thee● confess I had from thee it being now in m● O let us both abide and let me dwell thee 163. Let it never be separated fro● thee nor me but of two let us be made on● and never more be alone 164. My whole desire O Lord is to ● thy will it is to thee and to remember th● 165. O Lord lead me by thy holy an● blessed Spirit that I may never be led astra● 166. Let me not O Lord do any thing b● my self as for my self but all things by th● self and for thy self 167. Be thou always with me that I ma● never be without thee O most holy an● blessed Spirit my Sanctifier that I may b● all and always sanctified 168. Let me love thee O Lord more fo● thy Service sake then for my Souls sake 169. Let me desire and long for Heave● more to do thy will then to have my will● 170. O Lord if thou wert not in Heave● I would not desire Heaven but my desir● should be to be with thee 171. O Lord let the same desires be i● me whilst I am on earth as shall be in me● when I am in Heaven 172. The desire of my heart and soul Lord thou knowest is only to thee and ● thee and to be always guided by thee 173. Increase this holy desire in me O ●rd until my soul and body shall be filled ●th thy blessed fulness 174. O sweet Jesus dwell in me ever
earth O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven 108. Give me then thy self my sweet Jesus that I may please thy self for without thee I shall be still my self and displeasing still to thee 109. For I am all evil and thou O God art all good I am all Hell and thou art all Heaven Ah thou my God that can'st do all things turn my evil unto good that my Hell may be brought into thy Heaven 110. Joy in fear and by reason of fear for every man hath a double fear till he have perfect love that casteth out all fear 111. Fear causeth me to doubt and fear causeth me to believe fear bringeth me grief and fear bringeth me joy fear casteth me down to Hell and fear raiseth me up to Heaven fear causeth me to distrust and fear causeth me to trust fear affrights me with sadness and fear comforts me with rejoycings for if I did not fear I might justly be afraid if I did not fear the want of grace I might justly fear I had no grace if I did not fear falllng I fear I should fall indeed But though through fear I am many times afraid yet I would not be without fear though I should be always afraid for fear causeth me to put away fear and not to fear fear nor to be afraid of fear through fear I trust I believe I rejoyce and I hope I shall be for ever brought out and freed from all fear 112. Happy is the man that feareth always Prov. 28. 14. 113. Ah Lord my God that art most faithfull and most true make me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ truly faithfull all my life that I may be faithfull even unto the death and then for ever to enjoy thy gracious promise of that Crown of life 114. Make me faithfully obedient unto thee in all things O Lord all my life that at death I may receive thy faithfull promise of that Crown of glory and life that I may ever live to glorifie thee O Lord of all glory by an Eternal and Everlasting life 115. Any thing of all that man can do as man God will not accept but all things that God doth man should accept and likewise know and believe that he doth all things and therefore ought accept all things 116. Man's best all all mans best is worse then all but Gods least all the least of God is above all and more worth then all 117. When I have thee my God I have all yea all that I would have But Ah when I want thee when I have thee not when thou art absent and seemest to be departed or but estranged from me I want all am without all and possess nothing even nothing at all though I have even all other possessions 118. Let my all O Lord be all in thee That thou may'st be all unto me 119. I am much more offended that I have offended my God then I am afraid that my God is offended with me 120. I much more fear my sins to come then my sins past because my fear for my sins past is already past but my fear is always present for my sins to come yea it is my only fear and that which affrights me only 121. When I consider and ponder on the much joy that I enjoy to the little I deserve to enjoy and yet that this much is little to that which I hope and believe I shall enjoy Ah how my heart is filled and ravished with unspeakable joy 122. All glory be given to thee O God the God and giver of all gifts of all grace and of all glory Amen Amen In Bourdeaux Anno 1656. O Lord God I most humbly and most heartily beg and beseech thee be thou graciously pleased in love and in mercy in and through Jesus Christ to be with me thy poor and unworthy Servant here in this place where thou hast by thy Providence brought me at all times as thou hast been with me in all other places at other times that thy power and thy might may be seen in me and thy holy and blessed spirit leading guiding governing and directing me in all things that I shall take in hand to do that I may by grace walk upprightly in the midst of this crook●d froward and perverse generation and that they seeing my good works that is thou O God working in me they may glorifie thy great and holy name O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Ah Lord suffer me not here following to write my own words but thine not seek my self with selfish love but thy self with true sincere unfeigned love to thy self not mine honour but thine honour not my praise but thy praise not my glory but thy glory my souls salvation and the good benefit and advantage of others and all I beg and what else thou knowest to be needfull for me for Jesus Christ my blessed only alone Saviour and Mediator and and Redeemers sake Amen A Prayer O All holy Almighty Infinite and Incomprehensible wise glorious gracious good mercifull patient sweet lovely loving and most blessed and ever blessed Lord God thou art not only holy but holiness it self not only wise but wisdom it self not only good but goodness it self not only mercifull but mercy it self not only patient but patience it self not only sweet but sweetness it self not only love and loving but love it self not only strong but strength it self not only powerfull but all power it self not only great but greatness it self not only mighty but Almighty and might it self not only blessed but blessedness all blessedness it self not only happy but possessing all happiness making all happy that are happy being happiness it self all good O God is in thee and comes forth from thee thou containest all things being all things all things being in thee but art contained by none thou art what thou wilt be and therefore willest what thou wilt it is thy honour and thy glory that thou art what thou art all thy doings are wonderfull and like thy self holy just and true thou art all things do'st all things and givest all things freely willingly abundantly and continually never repenting repining nor upbraiding glorious thou art in holiness fearfull thou art in praises doing wonders all thy works do praise thee Ah let me thy unworthy unnatural disobedient sinful and wretched Creature in my self out of thee do the same every moment and all the moments of my life by all my thoughts words and actions both at home and abroad that thy power O God and thy might even thine Almighty power may be always seen in me and shew forth to thy glory that thou abidest and dwellest in me so that all that shall behold me may love thee and long for thee running after thee to obtain thee and so by enjoying thee may likewise praise thee O God I know that thou do'st all that thou wilt and willest all that thou dost thou art as willing as able and
wretchedness emptiness and nothingness how then O Lord am I able to know thee or to consider thee as thou art in thy self and how much thy goodness exceeds my badness thy wisdom my folly thy strength my weakness thy fulness my emptiness thine Almightiness my nothingness and yet how content am I though nothing or less worth then nothing yea to be turned even into nothing for thy sake But seeing O Lord thou hast in thy great goodness love and mercy made me thine make me now O Lord even what thou wilt and sent me whether thou wilt I am ready and willing to go and be and do and suffer yea to spend and to be spent for thee for thou knowest O Lord God if I desire to live it is to live to thee in thee and for thee to praise thee and for thy praise for to praise thee is to live and this to do only is the only desire I have to live for when I have thee Lord I have all that I desire and crave thy presence being my Heaven on Earth and thy absence my Hell having thee O Lord I have my all but wanting thee I want all that I would have thou only art able to content to satisfie and to please me but nothing but thee nothing out of thee nothing besides thee O my God yea all things besides thee cannot give me any true pleasure delight or contentment O give me then so thy self my sweet Jesus as I may be always with thee never without thee that I may wholly give up my self unto thee to be more holy like unto thee that my heart may be according to thine own heart and that thou may'st delight thine heart O Lord to set thine heart upon me and to make me thy delight thy joy and thy Crown of glory and to love me and to do me good even with that goodness of heart with thine own goodness wherewith thou lovest thine own that my will may in all things be conformable and made subject to thy will to will all that thou willest willingly and to nill all that thou nillest with the same willing will And grant O Lord that mine eyes may be always open to behold thee mine ears to hear thee my mouth to praise thee mine arms to imbrace thee my feet to run after thee and my heart heartily to love honour fear and adore thee so that all my members and faculties both in soul and body may be as instruments only to act thy motions that I may be out of love with all that I may be only in love with thee who art all love and only lovely my dear my sweet and saving Saviour Jesus Ah Lord God make me willing to give my self up unto the that did'st so willingly give up thy self for me and to be made like unto me that I might be made like unto thee thou rejoyced'st O Lord to come down from Heaven on Earth to lift me up from Earth into Heaven to live a mortal life on Earth that I might live an immortal life in Heaven to dye on Earth to free me from Eternal death and to give me Eternal life thou wert O Lord made subject to all infirmities on Earth to confirm and make me for ever free from them in Heaven seeing then thou wert O Lord willing to come to me in blood even through thine own blood to wash me out of my blood and to make me for ever clean Ah Lord wash not my hands and my feet only but my head and my heart out also even my bloody heart that hath delighted so much and so often to make thy innocent heart to bleed yea to shed the last drop of blood that was in thy heart Thou would'st O Christ thou would'st wear an ignominious Crown of Thornes here on earth that I might wear a glorious Crown of Glory hereafter in Heaven thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be whip'd that thy stripes might heal me thou would'st thou would'st O Christ be bound to loose me and set me free thou would'st O Christ thou would'st be accurst that I might be for ever blest thou would'st O Christ thou would'st have thine arms nail'd abroad to shew the breadth of thy love thy feet nail'd to shew the length of thy love and thy head pierst with Thorns to shew the height of thy love and thy heart opened with a spear to shew the depth of thy love Ah breadth length height and depth of love that such a God would be thus wounded to heal such a man as I am thus accurst to make me blest thus bound to make me free thus made an heir of misery to make me an heir of mercy thus to drink the dreggs of his Fathers Divine wrath that I might for ever drink in the streams and of the Ocean of his Divine love Ah love beyond degree an offended God thus dyes to set offending men free And thus hath God the Lord my Lord and my God freed me from Eternal pains and given me hopes here and assurance hereafter of Eternal joys he hath brought me out of the neither Hell into the upper Heaven of grace here which shall be glory hereafter he hath freed he hath freed me from Eternal death and purchased for me Eternal life he hath broken he hath broken the chains of sin by which Satan held me and led me captive at his will and doth lead me forth by and with the chains of his Eternal and everlasting love enabling me through grace to do his own holy will And what Lord shall I render unto thee for all these thy benefits thou Lord knowest my unabillity and my poverty I am I am I confess so poor yea so despicably poor O Lord as I have nothing to pay thee nor can pay thee nothing but what thou shalt give me give me then O Lord what thou wilt have me to give thee give me Oh give me I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ love to love thee fear to fear thee faith to believe in thee to depend on thee and to rowl my self upon thee hope to trust in thee and joy to rejoyce in thee with joy unspeakable Ah Lord God give me thy self yea all thy self that I may give thee all my self and though I do I confess already owe thee mine all yet I would willingly owe thee yet more and though I have nothing to pay thee yet I desire and heartily desire to owe the more to be more indebted unto thee for I delight to be thy great debtor yea and would be thy greatest and so I confess I should be though thou shouldest neither give nor forgive me any more then thou hast already forgiven and given me Ah Lord I know that for all thy gifts of grace mercy pardon and forgiveness that thou expecteth only an acknowledgement that I am thine all and that I owe thee my self and mine all the freedom Lord Ah Lord the freedom all the freedom all the freedom that I desire is to be thy
words of Eternal life thou art the word and the life yea Eternal life he that hath thee hath life and shall not see death nor tast of death because he is past from death to life but he that hath not thee O Lord Christ is dead already because he liveth in sin for he that liveth in sin is dead though he liveth Ah Lord I confess that the Well of thy mercy is much deeper then Jacob's Well and yet sure I am that such Children yea such Infants as I am can draw water from thence even the water of life even such water as giveth another life a better life which is an immortal and eternal life a life that shall never see death being hid with Christ in God Ah sweet Jesus let me have thee in my heart which is much better then to have thee as Simeon had in his arms my arms might let thee fall out of them but my heart cannot I had rather yea much rather see thee with the eyes of true saving faith then of sence or with the eyes of the flesh for thine enemies O Lord saw thee with fleshly eyes and yet hated thee spit on thee reviled and mocked thee whipped thee persecuted thee and crucified thee bearing false witness against thee and believed not in thee notwithstanding all the miracles that thou did'st but all those that see thee O Lord by the eyes of faith will believe in thee and say of thee unto thee as Thomas did my Lord and my God they will so love thee as they will Crucifie themselves and their bosom sins hate themselves and their own ways persecute themselves and crucifie all their own sinful fleshly worldly devilish lusts and affections and live as new Creatures in the world as if they were not of the world using the world as if they used it not Ah happy yea thrice happy are they that are in such a case for they have the Lord for their God Ah poor lost I poor forgotten I poor forsaken I poor undone I poor miserable I poor nothing I despicable poor I until thou O my sweet Jesus did'st come to my help to my succour to find me to save me to comfort me to inrich me to deliver me to set me free and bring me out of the chains of sin Hell and death by which I was held and led Captive and did'st most graciously bring me into thy self and gavest me thy self and loved'st me as thy self doing for me O God what thou could'st do making me like thy self Ah Lord God thou knowest all things I well know thou knowest my heart and what more can my heart say unto thee thou only O Lord art the searcher the tryer and the knower of all hearts thou knowest O Lord I know well that thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because thou knowest it O Lord I most humbly beg and beseech the in Jesus Christ to search and try me even all the Corners and Crannies of my heart and what evil is still in me O Lord I humbly intreat thee to destroy with an utter and total destruction that it may be said of it it is not Let sin O Lord as the House of Saul grow every day weaker and weaker and grace as the house of David every day stronger and stronger O Lord perfect that good work of grace which thou hast in the abundance of thy love begun in me until thou hast in love made it and brought me into perfect glory and all this I beg of thee O Father in Jesus Christ and what else thou knowest to be needful or expedient for me both for Soul and Body in life in death and after death for Christ I shall ever bless thee and to him with thy glorious Majesty and holy Spirit of grace the comforter and sanctifier do I render from the bottom of my heart unfeignedly as all due is and unto none else honour glory power might Majesty dominion and thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen 1. If our comfort and joy be so great to enjoy the Company of one imperfect Saint on Earth Ah how great shall our joy and comfort be to enjoy for ever that innumerable Company of perfected Saints in Heaven but how much more and more great shall our joy be and to our eternal comfort to enjoy God the Father Son and Holy Ghost that made them thus perfect and Saints 2. If we rejoyce so much here on earth to see one or some few friends in the flesh that we think love God Ah how shall we rejoyce when in Heaven to see so many Millions of Millions in the body and Spirit whom we shall know indeed that they love him in deed and in death 3. If men then on earth delight our senses Ah how shall God in Heaven with delight ravish our hearts 4. Ah Lord let me then still so have thee within me though on earth that I may say with Jacob I have all 5. If men on earth be able to give great gifts and their gifts be so greatly esteemed though but earth Ah how greatly should we esteem that great gift of that great God when he gives us himself who is as good as great and as great as good 6. If earthly joys do then sometimes rejoyce a Heavenly heart Ah Lord how shall and how doth that heart rejoyce when it is filled with heavenly joys yea when he shall be involv'd taken in and swallowed up into the joys of Heaven 7. And if momentany and earthly joys can give us joy any moment surely Eternal Heavenly joys shall make us to rejoyce evermore 8. And if hope fill us with joy unspeakable surely fruition shall make us flow over with fulness 9. And if the thoughts of what we know not satisfie us so much surely when we shall know them to be sure we shall be fully satisfied 10. And if faith in believing be so great as it brings Salvation Ah how great shall that Salvation be when it shall be above and beyond that is more than faith 11. And if to do the will of God on earth imperfectly delight the Soul so much that there 's no delight to him like it he prefers it above his daily food and all other delights in the flesh Ah what delight shall that soul have in Heaven where he shall always and perfectly do his whole and holy perfect will 12. And if God be so well pleased with us here for our weak and imperfect desires after grace Ah how well pleased will he be with us when he shall have made our imperfect grace full and perfect Glory 13. And if God delight so much in us whilst we are here below imperfect and sinners Ah how much and how greatly will he delight in us above when he shall have made us holy and perfect Saints 14. And if our joys be so great to see God here and his Glory darkly as in a glass with fleshly eyes Ah how great shall our joy be to see him gloriously
thine not do mine own works but thine Ah Lord for Jesus Christ his sake I humbly beseech thee suffer me not to be led into any temptation so as to prevail over me but though temptations fall on me I may not fall into them though sin do remain in my heart my heart may not remain in sin deliver O Lord from all evil for thine is the Kingdom the power and the glory O thou my Father in Jesus Christ which art in Heaven Be a wall of fire and of water round about me O my God continually to keep and preserve me from all mine Enemies and Adversaries the Devil the World and the Flesh be O Lord a City of refuge unto me that I may ever hide my self in thee for then I shall be safe and sure to be free from all danger be thou mine all for all my springs are in thee and from thee But what is man that he should be clean and the Son of man that is born of a woman that he should be righteous Behold he putteth no trust in his Saints and the Heavens are not clean in his sight how much more abominable and filthy is man that drinketh up iniquity as the Oxe drinketh up water and rusheth into sin as the horse rusheth into the battel But ah my God how much more wretched am I how much more unclean filthy and abominable am I than any that was ever born of a woman I that have delighted in sin as the Drunkard in wine as the wanton in his mate how have I chosen sin prized sin imbraced sin coveted sinning and sought it as for hid Treasures it hath been sweet to my tast as the hony and the hony Comb but O Lord I know and am assured that with thee there is mercy O teach thou me to fear thee For thou art O Lord become my Portion and thou hast made me thine inheritance for ever I prize thee O Lord much above gold and the most precious pearls thy Countenance is most amiable Ah how delightful are thy ways and how pleasant a thing it is O Lord to walk in the paths of thy Commandments and to keep thy Statutes these things O Lord thou knowest are only desirable unto my soul and it longeth only to be found in thee Who Lord who can or is able to express the ravishments of that heart that possesseth thee who Lord who is able to express the joy of him that enjoyeth thee Ah how doth he as it were run over with fulness of blessings that is filled with thee even with thy blessed self who art the Fountain the Ocean the Original of all blessedness felicity and happiness Ah Lord how truly may he say that hath thee as Jacob did that he hath all though he should want all other things he that hath thee hath all things in the want of all things and he that wants thee wants all things even in the possession of all things for what O Lord what are all things without thee and what doth he Ah what can he want that hath thee who art all things yea much better than all things for he that hath thee hath life yea Eternal life and is past from death death hath no more dominion over him but he that hath thee not is dead though he liveth for he that is in thee O Lord is from all sin free he that is born of thee O God sinneth not sin hath no more dominion over him because thy seed of holiness which is sanctifica●ion remaineth in him such a one hath overcome the world and that wicked One with all the Powers of the Kingdom of Darkness Sin Hell Death and the Devil he that is in Christ is Crucified to the world and the world unto him he is departed from all iniquity he hath Crucified the flesh with the lusts and affections thereof he maketh no longer provision for the flesh to satisfie its Lusts for such they know that his Servants they are whom they obey whether of sin unto death or of Obedience unto Righteousness Ah blessed ever blessed and only blessed and happy condition to be thus born again of God and to sin no more to be a member of Christs mystical body bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh such shall be as assuredly Members of his glorious Body for they that are betroth'd unto him here by grace shall be hereafter married unto him in glory Ah Lord God I am sure thou knowest my heart and that though it is not what it would be or should be yet thou hast for which I desire ever to praise thee in grace and mercy made it such as it heartily desireth and longeth to be what it should be but O Lord I know that here is no perfection and that therefore it cannot be here Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ in thine own good due and appointed time bring me home to that long wished for and blessed home that I may be ever blessed in thee and with thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah Lord my Lord thou knowest how willing I am to leave all for thee lose all to enioy thee trample all under my feet and hate all for thy sake yea spend and be spent for thee and to follow thee the Lamb of Righteousness in all places whither thou wilt go even as a chast Wife giveth her self unto her Husband and delighteth to love honour and obey him and longeth for his presence when he is absent that she may lye in his bosome and be imbraced in his arms esteeming all things toys and trash to his love even so Lord thou knowest that my heart desireth and longeth to be espoused unto thee in Heaven made one with thee knit and glued unto thee that I may be thine for ever and be imbraced in thine arms and lye in thy bosome living as thine and thine only unspotted and unblameable holy O Lord as thou art holy Heaven O Lord is Heaven because it is holy yea because thou art there that art holiness therefore yea therefore is Heaven Heaven and Heaven holy and such a holy Heaven as it is to those that are there a thousand years seem but as one day so sweet is its enjoyment and one day seems as a thousand years so great is their comfort of enjoyment and therefore O Lord and to praise thee do I long to be dissolved from this body of sin which is death that I may live in thee and with thee in holiness which is Eternal life for this O Lord thou hast taught me to know and therefore my soul rejoyceth that holiness is the only felicity and chief happiness in Heaven for that makes us only like unto thee who art the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven Grant therefore O my God in Christ and for his sake that I may whilst here below in the flesh on earth seek after labour for and endeavour to obtain that measure and degree of holiness that my
can be done by them but what thou pleasest and sufferest to be done Cause them and all thy people to know that having thee on their side and for them they need not fear who be against them for none ever fought against thy power and prospered and that though thou dost usually use means yet thou canst O God we know if thou so pleasest do thy work without means yea and against means and that there is no means so contemptible but thou canst O God our God make effectual even to the pulling down of strong holds as thou did'st the Walls of Jericho at the noise of Rams Horns it is as easie with thee to do what thou willest as to will it all things are as easie as possible let us not then O God fear any power no nor all powers having thee the Lord for our God before whom all the Nations of the earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance Thou holdest O God the Ocean in the hollow of thine hand and the earth is upheld and standeth fast by the power of thy might give us then O Lord God such fear as may cause us to love thee and such love as may cast out and destroy all fear for thou only who art God only art to be feared only Ah Lord look down graciously and in mercy upon poor afflicted Scotland and Ireland stir up thy self and come and save them even now now when there is no help for them nigh at hand O Lord be thou their help and help thou them and give them grace to put their trust in thee that thou mayest be their help and deliverer of three Nations make us O Lord one people that we may be knit together with the bonds of love and unity serving thee O Lord with a perfect heart in holiness and righteousness all the days of our lives And though O Lord thou hast delivered them into our hands and given us power over them Ah Lord suffer us not to do other unto them than we would they should do unto us and that we lay not on them too heavy burthens to bear Bless O Lord I beseech thee all my kindred and acquaintance in the flesh Ah Lord I know that thou knowest all their soul and body cases Ah be thou pleased in Jesus Christ to come into their help and give them deliverance make O Lord make their hearts below their conditions and then make their conditions what thou wilt lay no more O Lord on them than thou shall be pleased to enable them to bear and then lay on them what thou wilt Ah Lord cause every thing to work together for their good let them always see and acknowledge that thou punishest them far less than their iniquities deserve and that all afflictions whatsoever come from thee but the procuring cause is in themselves make them O Lord as willing to wear the Cross here as the Crown hereafter to suffer for thee here as to reign with thee hereafter And though O Lord they be poor in the world let them be rich in grace though they be contemptible in the world let them be honourable in thy sight be thou O Lord their Portion and make them thine inheritance and grant O Lord I beseech thee that their last days may be their best days and their last thoughts their best thoughts that they may be thy faithfull humble and obedient Servants unto their lives end living the lives of the Righteous that they may be like them both in death and after death Be thou with them O Lord in all places and at all times that they may always sit under the shadow of thy wings and that the fruit of thy word may be pleasant unto the tast of their souls let them through grace delight to walk in the ways of thy Statutes and let thy Commandments be their daily talk suffer them not O Lord to go astray from thee either after the pleasures or profits of the world but inable them all through grace to walk uprightly and circumspectly before thee unto their lives end Be mindfull and mercifull O Lord unto all the Sons and Daughters of affliction wheresoever dispers'd wheresoever scattered on the face of the whole earth bring home O Lord all that are banisht deliver all Captives and set free all Prisoners that every one may sit under his Vine and rejoyce under his Fig-Tree eating in peace the fruits of their labours visit O Lord the sick comfort the comfortless bind up the broken heart heal the wounded heart give life to the dead heart give the grace of faith unto the doubting heart and of hope unto the despairing heart speak peace O Lord unto the disconsolated and afflicted heart give understanding memory sense and reason unto the distracted heart and those amongst them whom thou dost intend O Lord and hast appointed to take unto thy self let them see thine arms of love in mercy open and ready to receive them let them hear O Lord thy sweet and comfortable voyce speaking peace unto their Souls and saying Sons and Daughters be of good cheer your sins are forgiven you wash them O Lord with thy most dear and most pretious blood and sanctifie them with thy holy spirit of grace that they may appear spotless and unblameable before thee whiter than Snow purer than Wool finer than Gold and brighter than the Sun and make them O Lord more than Conquerours and those O Lord whom thou dost intend to restore unto their former health and strength give them grace to lead new lives and to become new Creatures that others seeing their good works may glorifie thee O God our Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ Ah Lord God look with much mercy I humbly beseech thee upon all those every where that suffer for the Peace of a good Conscience because they will not sin against thy truth keep them O Lord as the Apple of thine eye that nothing come nigh to hurt them nor to affright them let them depend on thy mercies fear thy judgments and lay hold on thy gracious promises give them O Lord courage and strength to fight that good fight and to run that good race that thou hast set before them that they may be always-willing and ready to give up their lives unto the death and then from thee O Lord they may receive the Crown of Eternal life And those O Lord that suffer for an evil Conscience because they have sinned against thy truth let them not always mourn as men and women without hope but pour down O Lord in much love and mercy pour down thy holy and blessed spirit the Comforter into their hearts that may speak peace unto their Souls even that peace that passeth all understanding let not the Mountains of their sins O Lord nor the Rocks of unbelief hinder thy mercies from coming down out of Heaven into their Hearts nor their Prayers from ascending up unto thee by faith but cause them O
Christ and come Lord Jesus Ah come quickly and take me to thee to be ever with thee for though to me to live were Christ yet to dye would be great gain 55. Such and all such love falsly as love their Neighbours False love to our Neighbour or loving our Neighbour falsly for themselves only for the good they do them and for the benefit and advantage alone which they receive from them were it not for this good they would not care for them nor think of them nor pray for them nor wish or desire any blessing on them if they do at any time do them any good it is for the good that thereby they hope will accrue to themselves either of praise or profit otherwaies they would rather yea much rather their loss than their gain their dishonour than their honour and they would delight more much more to hear an evil than a good report of them and were it not that they want them or may want them that they stand them in stead they would rather yea much rather dis-serve them than serve them hurt them than do them good and though with their mouths they bless them yet in their hearts they curse them envying the very happiness that they pray for on their behalf they love them for their gifts not their gifts for them yea they love their gifts but not the givers of the gifts they love their gifts not because it comes from their love but because they are lovely that is because they stand them in stead they have need of them they should be in want if they did want them if they had them not they do not praise God on their behalf and pray for a double blessing on them for this their blessing of them if they wish or desire an increase of their substance and a blessing on their labours it is because they hope they will increase in doing them good in giving to them of their substance a blessing of their labours a part and portion of their profits and if they do not do so such will curse and not bless and would if they could take from them all that they have or seem to have for their love is self-love love only to themselves for themselves therefore false love loving falsly 56. I had much rather have no portion in the World than have the World for my portion 57. For I am sure the World never did nor never will make any rich and as sure that it hath and will make many Ah too too many poor 58. For many that have had and yet shall have great Portions of this Worlds good have nor shall have none of the good of Heaven for their Portion it 's hard for a rich man here to be rich there 59. And many that have no Portion in this World of this World have God and shall have God for their sure and everlasting Portion in the World to come 60. Ah happy yea thrice happy man that hath such a Portion there though he have none here what ever be his condition he is in a blessed condition for he shall be ever blessed blessed for ever and ever 61. But Ah miserable man who art only miserable that hath no Portion there what ever Portion he hath here yea though he abound in Corn and Wine and Oyl and all this Worlds good and glory 62. Give me Ah Lord give me any Portion in Heaven though but to be a door-keeper if I may but see thy face and hear thy Voice I care not though it be with the loss of all Portions here both of riches honours and pleasures 63. If thou givest me here O Lord but food and rayment how mean soever it be I will be content therewith and heartily thank thee and if thou givest me none I will thank thee for the time past and believe I shall want none for the time to come and that shall content me 64. Ah if the want of the World be so sweet when in its want we find no want how sweet then yea how much sweeter is Heavens fulness where is all fulness of all things and therefore no want at all of any thing 65. Ah how much better is it and how much greater gain to lose this Worlds all and gain Heaven then to gain this Worlds all and lose our part of Heaven which is Heavens all yea all Heaven 66. The Worlds loss with Heavens gain I shall not account any loss but all gain yea the greatest gain I can get but Heavens loss with all this Worlds gain I shall not account any gain but a great loss yea the greatest that I could or can sustain 67. He that loseth Heaven loseth all but he that gets only this Worlds all gets nothing even nothing at all 68. I will and always will account all losses gain to win Christ and all gain losses if I lose Christ 69. Let Christ then be my gain and I care not what losses I sustain 70. For this Worlds felicity is certain but a moment but the felicity or infelicity of the World to come is not uncertain any moment but certainly good or bad from the first to the last moment which last moment will be always alike as far off as it was the very first moment being ever ever 71. Give me then Ah Lord God that endless good felicity and happiness which is like thy self shall never change but endure for ever and not that which is like my self subject every moment to all change 72. Ah Lord thou knowest I would willingly most willingly change thus my life for death and then my death for life 73. That is my life of Sin for a death to sin to put all sin to death and then death for eternal life with Christ who is my life 74. Thou knowest O Lord also that I would willingly dye to live and live to dye 75. That is to dye to sin and live to grace live in all grace and dye to all sin that to me to live may be Christ but to dye gain yea that my life may be hid with Christ in God 76. I would willingly O Lord have thee mine all that I may give thee mine all and reserve from thee nothing at all 77. All Lord All I most willingly and unfeignedly give thee Ah that thou wouldest receive all and refuse nothing at all 78. For all Lord that 's mine is thine that is all that is good for the bad I renounce and give back also to him that gave it 79. All the World is nothing being all perishable therefore can be to nothing compared but to nothing 80. Ah what a pity is it that any man should be so sickle as to love such fickle things as are these below which to day are and to morrow are not 81. For is any thing lesser worser or lighter than vanity if any thing be or can be or if this Worlds things be any thing it is it which is so much vanity and so full
that God giveth to Souls knoweth it not and therefore desireth it not but Ah he that feedeth on them and hath been resatiated with them he finds no sweets like them nay all other pleasant things unpleasant and all other sweets bitter in comparison of these his sweet most pleasant sweets 69. Being with God having God enjoying God and Communion with him a dungeon is to him a Palace bread and water is good cheer to lye on the ground the earth his bed the heavens his canopy and the trees root his pillow is as a bed of down as curtains of gold and a pillow of wooll nay in flames of fire or on a rack he can lye softly and sing sweetly so he do but hear the still sweet voice of God speaking peace to his Soul and bidding it to be of good cheer 70. There is no company like to no company to be alone with God with God alone if ever it be satisfied it is then satisfied to speak with him to him and to hear God answer him by his Spirit in love Ah the lovely discourse converse delight and joy which makes a man not to know where he is nor whether he be in the flesh or Spirit he is at such times so spiritual 71. Who can Ah who can tell or set forth nay meditate what how good great loving gracious merciful beautiful and abundant is the loving kindness the kind Love of God to his children and servants or set forth the sweetness and greatness of his gifts of Grace 72. He ravisheth them he filleth them he feedeth them he cloatheth them he solaceth them he enricheth them he giveth them such pleasures and joyes as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard nor as no heart can conceive this honour doth the Lord to those whom he loveth to all his Saints 73. He maketh them to triumph in and over all adversity and prosperity in sickness and in health in places and conditions he is always nigh at hand to those that unfeignedly love him and fear him and that tremble at his Word 74. He causeth his goodness to pass before them and proclaimeth as with an audible voice that he will be ever and for ever their God and their Guide their Sun and their Shield their Peace and their everlasting Portion that he will never leave them nor forsake them but always and ever own them for his own and so stand by them and live and dwell in them that no evil shall come nigh them to hurt them or to do them the least harm but every thing shall always work together for his own glory and their everlasting good 75. Thus they that honour him he will honour they that flye to him shall find succour and help and be brought out of all dangers for his own mouth hath spoken it which is to me much more by much than ten thousand thousand witnesses 76. Ah Lord I most humbly beseech thee keep me so close unto thee as I may always touch thee feel thee hear thee so as I may know thee by thy name that is by thy doings by thy gracious most gracious dealings by thy wonderful by thy most wonderful gracious actings in my Soul and heart and mind and will and affections that it may be all thine and only thine that thou may'st not only O God be in all my thoughts always but always all my thoughts desires love liking and longing 77. Fill me O Lord fill me with love to thy Laws that I may delight in them yea make the keeping of them my whole and chief delight 78. Fill me O God with thine own goodness that I may be good with thine own Justice that I may be just with thine own righteousness that I may be righteous with thine own mercy that I may be merciful with thine own truth that I may be truely true with thine own Love that I may be lovely loving thee in truth with thine own fear to fear thee with thine own Faith to believe in thee and to lay fast hold upon thee with thine own beauty O Lord to make me comely and beautiful with thine own gloriousness to make me glorious with thine own transcendent shining faithfulness that I may be faithful unto thy holy Laws all my whole life 79. Thou hast O God thou hast for which I shall never cease to laud and praise thee promised to keep me by thine own power through Faith unto salvation therefore I will not be afraid nor fear any power no nor all powers whatever whether of sin men or Devils for I know that they are all weak and that thou art strong they are the conquered thou O Lord thou art the Conquerour they are all subdued and thou hast O Lord subdued them they are brought under and thou rulest over them they are thy foot-stool and thou tramplest upon them all their all to thee O great God is nothing even nothing at all all the Nations of the Earth are as the drop of a bucket and as the dust of the ballance in thy sight with the breath of thy nostrils thou art able to consume them and turn them to their first substance dust therefore O Lord my Lord I will depend and rely on thee that thou wilt do for thy servant this good that is so great even to make preserve and keep me faithful unto the death and then O Lord then in the greatness of thy eternal and everlasting goodness wilt give me for ever the Crown of eternal life 80. How small a thing how poor a thing and how low a thing is and are all things if God be not in them and come not with them 81. What is it to have all things out of God and besides God that is not to have him with them in them who is all good and only able to make all things good unto us 82 How poor and low are all these high things here below the riches of the World the honours of the World and the pleasures of the World to enjoy all their pleasures and their joys how foolish is it and Ah what toys considering their fickleness shortness and uncertainty for what is green desirable and flourishing to day is to morrow perhaps withered dry loathsome and all its beauty past away for who can say of any thing or of himself it shall be to morrow as it is this day 83. The wicked shall not live out half his days and how long soever he live they will not be half the days he would live though God should lengthen them as he did Hezekiah's for ten years nay for a hundred nay make his days as Methusalem's all such a time would be but a moment to eternity but to live in the Love and favour of God a man shall dye never but death shall make him live for ever and for ever 84. What a poor yea despicable poor small thing are Kingdoms Crowns and Scepters and what else as humane Learning the wisdom of men mans wisdom
all by whatever he gives he is still the same full of all blessedness and goodness always ready to distribute and give unto the necessity of the Saints never weary nor standing still yesterday to day and to morrow and for ever the same 50. Therefore to have much is to ask much ask and ye shall have that your joy may be full God doth not say or mean that we may or can be too bold that we may ask too much And to take away this scruple or doubt he promiseth that what ever we shall ask believingly in the name of Jesus Christ we shall receive if we open our mouths wide then we have his promise that he will fill them which implies that the way or means to have much is to ask much this holy Coveting and Ambition he is well pleased with and so good bountiful and free our God is that we cannot please him better than after what ever we have asked to believe that he will give us much more by much than we are able to ask or think whoever lacks Wisdom if he ask it of God he will give it liberally for he upbraids no man neither is he a respecter of persons having given us Jesus Christ his only Son the Son of his love and delight how shall he not with him give us all things 51. Surely surely seeing he hath and daily doth give us such things as these Himself his Son and holy Spirit we may be sure we shall as Abraham did be weary or leave asking or God will leave giving for weary he cannot be fit then thy self to be filled and I promise and assure thee who ever thou art thou shalt not be sent empty away what ever thy hunger and thirst be whatever thy coveting and ambition be thou shalt have to fill thee to satisfie thee yea over and above what ever thou canst ask or think believe for all things are possible yea easie for him to do 52. The life which delighteth the Lord and which he would have us to live is to live unto all holiness and godliness every day even as we would do if we knew it to be our last day yea to live every moment of the day all our days as if it were our very last moment 53. The death of the Righteous every one seemingly desires to dye but truly I may say of the most that thus say be they whoever they be that they know not well what they say because that perhaps not one of a thousand but denyes it in his deeds for the death of the Righteous in which the Lord delighteth as in their life and which honours him most even as a holy and godly that is God-like life doth I say this death of the Righteous is as I take it to dye daily yea every moment of the day to all sin even to all both great and small in thought in word and deed to dye thus is to honour glorifie and dignifie more the Lord than to dye any temporal death on the Rack in the flames of fire or to be buried alive c. 'T is not with these Ah not with these Sacrifices of our fleshly lives but with those Sacrifices of our Lusts Corruptions and sinful affections that God is well pleased refreshed as it were and delighted These Sacrifices send up sweet Odours in his Nostrils these are pretious in his eyes I thus thus doubtless it is that the death of the Saints are pretious in the eyes of the Lord to put to death those cruel ones those Enemies of our Eternal life of our souls salvation that put to death the Lord of life and glory himself in his manhood this is to be valiant for the Lord to do wonders or wonderfully to fight well his battels and to help the Lord as it were against the mighty Ah how is he delighted that we will avenge our selves thus on his Enemies and spare none alive but as Samuel did hew Agag the King himself in pieces this is to be jealous for the Lord with a godly jealousie and to have our love for the Almighty to be as hot as fire Ah thus thus if we pull out our right eyes and cut off our right hands we shall be sure to enter into life but not maimed but whole and entire And he that is thus willing to lose his life shall save it and he that will spare or save his life that is his life of sin or fleshly life to live in and commit sin shall surely lose his life both Spiritual Temporal and Eternal 54. He that thus dyes all the day long all his life long dyes much more gloriously by much in the eyes of the Lord God and in the eyes of all his enlightened Children than if he did suffer in the flesh constantly all his dayes the cruellest death of any of all the Martyrs Ah to suffer thus is to suffer truly is to suffer rightly for the cause of Christ and the honour of the Gospel for 't is not Ah no our outward sufferings in the flesh that delighteth the Lord for he is a God o● joy and would that we did always rejoyce and is there any other thing that we do o● can do that gives us so much cause to rejoyce as to be delivered but of the hands of all our Enemies and to see them lye slai● before our eyes as the Egyptians Ah then then may we serve him without fear then and thereby do we serve the Lord in Righteousness and true Holiness and he that is thus faithful unto the death to put sin to death every moment of his life shall be sure in the end of his dayes to have the full end of all his desires and to wear for ever the Crown of Eternal life he that thus fights shall overcome he that thus suffers no sin to raign in his mortal body shall raign with Christ in bliss and glory world without end Amen Amen 55. Thus then to live and thus do dye is to be sure we shall live with Christ Eternally 56. He that doth live thus and thus puts sin to death lives that life and dyes that death daily as most of all honours God and which brings him most glory which is the thing only or the only thing as I suppose that all Gods Children most desire and long for in this life 57. He that thus lives shall ever live and he that thus puts sin to death is past from death to life and shall never see death that is the power of death to terrifie him for death is swallowed up into Victory death when it comes shall carry him in triumph yea triumphantly into the blessed arms of his blessed Jesus who hath thus redeemed him from Hell from sin and from death to live ever with himself in bliss and glory an Eternal life 58. When I shall find that sin is thus put to death in me then will I say boldly that the Lord hath sent his destroying Angel to do it that he
is so hot that a whole world of gold would be given for a drop of water and yet it is so cold as will make thee for ever to weep and wail and gnash thy teeth But it may be thou wilt not believe it till thou hast felt it if thou art such a fool and such an Enemy to thy own soul to thine own peril be it I can and do assure thee on my souls salvation that then it will be too late and thou shalt find no place to repent in how many tears soever thou sheddest wherefore whilst it is day hear the voyce of the Lord who wooes thee to come unto him that thou mayest have life and be no longer a neglecter of so great Salvation as is so freely offered unto thee and quench not the spirit in thee no longer which if thou wilt but now repent and leave for ever thy sins thou shall find mercy and he will seal it to thy heart and Conscience unto the day of Redemption awake then thou that sleepest and arise from the dead and Christ shall give thee life But know that if thou neglectest it and wilt put it off till the morrow know that there is no to morrow in all the Scripture 't is to day if thou wilt hear his voice harden not thy heart and consider how nigh this day may be past and how nigh the night may be at hand wherein no man shall work The Lord speak so effectually to thy dry obdurate rocky heart that it may so hear as thy soul may live and that these words may prove a savour of death to all thy sins and of life unto thy poor Soul Death to all that are in Christ is a day of Harvest of reaping gathering and gain it will be to him a day of Espousals she shall be married unto the fairest Bridegroom that ever was Absolom's Beauty will be blackness and uncomeliness to his to the richest that ever was Solomon's riches will be but as Job's poverty compared to his And to the most highest in honour that ever was being King of kings and Lord of lords to him all Kings shall fall and cast their Crowns at his feet Death to a true believer is the best of all things because it brings him to possess all things yea to possess Christ himself who is the giver of all things and much better than all things much by much A Soul in Christ is always ready to meet and imbrace death at midnight or mid-day at the Cock-crowing or any other time he hath his life as it were in his hand always ready and willing to lay it down or give it up to him that gave it him and redeemed it he accounts nothing his own but all Christs and that he hath all things both in Heaven and Earth having him When Death is ready to carry us into the arms of Christ the Ark of our peace and rest then the Devil many times rageth most against us But Christ our Captain and deliverer who will save us to the utmost as the Lyon of the Tribe of Judah roareth against him and forceth him to a trembling and yielding retreat But to Saints our Christ appears as a Lamb meek and pacified yea as the Lamb of God that taketh away all our sins that he may present us spotless and unblameable unto his Father that we may as Children and Coheirs with himself receive a Crown incorruptible and the inheritance prepared for us from all Eternity Death to us that are dead to sin and alive to Christ hath no sting and therefore cannot in the least do us any harm wherefore we cherish him and as a dear friend are glad to hear of him and so think often on him and when he comes we bid him most heartily welcome entertain him kindly and lodge him in our bosoms But to those that know not Christ his Master and have no interest in him nor his mark on their foreheads he comes in flames of fire and as a most cruel Executioner to execute on them the direful and eternal doom of God and so carries them post and headlong to Hell delivering them into the hands and power of their grand Enemy the Devil to be tormented in everlasting burning world without end or for ever and for ever Death Ah how comely art thou in the sight of all Gods Children that art sent by him to bring them to see him their King Lord and Master that have so long desired to see this day and thy delightsome countenance thou art most welcome and dear as the most dearest Brother come in thou Messenger of the most Highest I know what thou hast to say unto me thou bringest me the gladdest tidings that ever I heard I am ready to go with thee when thou wilt I shall be now soon brought to my long desired home to my everlasting habitation of repose and rest Now my Soul thou shalt be no longer perplext nor troubled all sighing for sin and fear of sinning shall flie away now is that blessed day come wherein thou shalt at once have all thy Prayers answered all thy desires petitions and suits granted and ten thousand times ten thousand more than ever thou didst ask or think now thou shalt sin grieve nor offend thy God no more but evermore serve honour obey and please him Now thou shalt see him who created thee God the Father him who redeemed thee Jesus Christ the Son and him who so often comforted thee and hath sanctified thee the Holy Ghost the blessed Spirit three in one and one in three which is a great mystery but most true Ah happy they unto whom it hath been manifestly manifested such have Eternal life and therefore fear not death But to the wicked that fee and know themselves out of Christ death is to all such the King of Terrors they dread and fear him more than all the Kings Tyrants Torments and Tormentors in the World nay than the Devil himself for 't is by death that they are sent or brought to keep company for ever one with another 't is death carries them to that infernal habitation that throws them headlong into that Lake of fire and brimstone into that bottomless pit of black thick darkness which may be felt that binds them in fetters so strong as none is able to deliver them and then flies swifter than the wind from them resolving which they know never to return to deliver them and this later woe for ever to abide so is the greatest of all this sinks their hearts and hopes into an everlasting despair which most of all makes death dreadful to them and they would much rather lye under the greatest rocks or mountains or be cast with a milstone about their necks into the bottom of the Sea But it cannot be death will execute his part of the doom pronounced against them by him that judgeth wisely righteously and justly and that spake as never man spake A Prayer MOst High most Holy most
that I fare deliciously and am ●ayed more gloriously then if I were with ●rple scarlet and fine linnen 83. To do thy work O God is the wag● I desire and which will and shall ever co●tent me 84. Ah Lord I praise thee for that tho● hast given me a heart to be willing to pa● from all things most willingly so I migh● part from all sin also 85. Dispose of all things as thou wilt ● God do but only leave me thy self in po●session 86. All good thoughts come in love ● God from thee to me but woe me m●serable me for that all evil thoughts com● from my self in hatred to thee 87. Good Lord make my heart and a● my thoughts such that I may be only suc● and always such as thou would'st have n● to be 88. Do thou O Christ live and reign b● thy power and might in me that the migh● power and reign of Sin may be cast out me 89. Let not the things of the Worl● put thee O Lord out of my mind nor s● out of my heart to abhor it 90. Give me O Lord grace and pow● to Conquer and cast out all worldly lusts a● affections out of my heart that there be place for thee and thee only to dwell i● my sweet Jesus 91. Grant O Lord that I may esteem the ●orlds gifts without thee my S●viour as ●e Devils gifts that will destroy me 92. Grant O Lord that I may ever be●eve and esteem my best duties and perfor●ances as from my self to deserve no●ing but shame and confusion being but as ●lthy rags and a menstrous cloath and ●at I am less and less worth at the best then ●e least of all thy mercies 93. Nothing but thy blood O Lord can ●ash me nothing but thy death could satis●ie for me nothing but thy resurrection can ●aise me and nothing but thy living can ●hake me live 94. Let thy blessed Ordinances O Lord be more delightfull to me then my meat and drink and sweeter to my tast then the hony ●nd the hony-comb let them much more please me then the pleasures of Egypt which ●re but for a season 95. I had much rather have nothing of ●he world and hate it then all the world ●nd love it 96. I had rather be the poorest in the world then the richest as for my own good and profit alone 97. I am more afraid of honour then of dishonour of riches then of poverty of high degree then of low degree of applause then of contempt or scorn of health the of sicknes● and of my life then of my death yet I know that God is all and in all these therefore I will fear neither for I know tha● that which he giveth is the best and I sha● profit best by it 98. Ah that I had so much grace as to b● always able to meditate on the love an● sweetness that is in my Saviour I woul● not leave that blessed condition of Communion with him one hour to gain all tha● the world hath to give 99. Surely If I could always think o● my Saviour I would willingly always thin● on him I would not only have him in a● my thoughts but I would have him be a● my thoughts 100. One moments Communion with th● Spirit of grace were to be preferr'd incomparably above all the pleasures and sweets o● sin though their end were not bitter bu● sweet 101. I would willingly lose all that ● have of the world if so be I could lose the thoughts of it likewise 102. I would much rather have not any thing of the world and be not of the world then have all it hath and be of it 103. I cannot be poorer then to have the world and love it nor richer then to be without the world and hate it 104. Though I cannot remember what I ●ould yet I remember well I never did or I do not do what I would 105. I had rather say nothing then my ●wn words when I speak by Prayer or any ●ther way unto God 106. Oh blessed Spirit Sanctifie my ●houghts and my words when I take upon ●e to speak unto the People of God 107. Oh sweet Jesus present I most humbly beseech thee my prayers and my self unto thy Father that he may receive ●nd accept of both through thy merits ●nd mediation 108. O God my God give me grace so ●o live as I may be always ready willing ●nd rejoyce to dye let thy time be my time whether it be sleeping or waking on thy day or on ours whil'st I am doing thy work or mine own thy time and thy will ●e done O Lord not mine 109. O Lord let me never leave sighing ●or sin till I leave sinning 110. Let sin O Lord be much more bitter unto me after repentance then it was sweet before repentance 111. Let me O Lord esteem any death much sweeter then the bitter life of any sin though it live but a moment in me 112. Give me O Lord any afflicti● unless that which I cannot bear sin 113. Let me live so long here O Lor● till I am utterly dead to all sin and sin de● to me and then Lord take me to thy s● when thou wilt that I may live for ever thee and with thee 114. O Lord though thou give me p●verty and Contempt with the grace of co●tent I shall be as rich and as honourab● as I desire 115. Take my thoughts O Lord fro● the World and then take the world fro● me as soon as thou wilt 116. Give me O Lord so much grace love thee that it may extinguish all oth● loves that are in me 117. Make me O Lord thy Servant a● let me know it and I will never desire n● ask any other Honour or Condition 118. I would much rather have Christ me and doubt it then not in me and b●lieve it rather such true sorrow then su● false joy 119. If Christ were not in Heaven would not desire to be there my desi● should be to be where Christ should be 120. Let me so love thee O Lord as may always fear thee and so fear thee ● I may ever unfeignedly love thee let the● ●wo graces be never sever'd from me nor I ●rom them 121. Let no sin keep me from thee but ●et every and all sins drive me unto thee for I know that thou art a God pardoning all Sins and Blasphemies all iniquities and transgressions of such as repent and resolve to do so no more and I know that thou art my God and Father in Jesus Christ 122. Love me then so O Lord my God I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ as to keep me unspotted that is from sinning against thee either in thought word or deed wittingly or willingly 123. Let thy Mercies O Lord my Lord and my good God so draw me and thy Judgments so drive me as I may never be at rest nor quiet until I come to have quiet rest between thy breasts my dear my sweet and saving
Lord mine all and let ●e be thine all 225. Though I much fear and would ●t commit any sin yet I am not at all a●id of all the Sins I have committed 226. Though I know that God hates all ●s yet I much rejoyce that I was made a ●ner 227. Though I know that God justifies ●e ungodly yet I would not be ungodly 228. Though I know that grace doth a●ound more then sin yet I would not sin ●at grace may abound 229. Did I doubt of the pardon of my ●ns to have their pardon I would not ●hoose willingly to commit one sin 230. Ah Lord do not only pardon all ●y sins but give me grace to sin no more 231. Let me O Lord be ●s unwilling to ●ve in sin as to dye in sin 232. Let me fear as much the commit●ing of any sin as the punishment of all my sins I have committed fear sin before ●mitted as the punishment after commi● yea fear sin more then the punishme● sin choose the punishment and not sin ●ther then sin and have no punishment 233. Let me hate sin most because sin and therefore most to be hated 234. Let me hate sin as much after ● doned as before and before commit● as after 235. Let me O Lord hate sin as t● lovest a sinner that would not sin 236. Let me be O Lord as unwil● to commit sin as thou art willing to par● them when committed 237. Let me even be as unwilling● commit any sin as thou O Lord ● willing to pardon all Sins 238. Let me O Lord die to all ● that I may live to all grace 239. Though O Lord I know t● thou pardonest all sins and transgressio● yet suffer me not willingly to choose ● commit any sin nor consent to any Tr●gression 240. Let sin dye that grace may live Let grace live that sin may dye● 241. Let Sin dye in me that thou ma●est O Lord live in me 242. Let me dye to sin that I may Lord live to thee ●43 Let me O Lord dye to Sin whilst ●e that I may not dye in sin when I am ● ●44 Let me O Lord so dye here to ● that I may not dye hereafter for sin ●45 O Lord let me so dye as I may not ● Eternally ●46 Let sin O Lord be rooted out of ● that I may be rooted in thee and ● in me my sweet and saving Jesus ●47 Let me O Lord be so rooted in ● as I may never be rooted out of thee ●48 Let me Lord take such deep root That I may bring forth much fruit ●49 Let my Root be such in thee That my fruit be much to me Let my fruit be such to thee That the Fruit be like the Tree ●50 Let O Lord my death to Sin appear ●he appearance of the life of grace ●51 Let me O Lord so live as I may ●er dye but to Sin ●52 Let me O Lord so live to thee ● as I may ever live with thee and in ● hereafter ●53 Were not thy work O God the ●rk of my Salvation yet would I prefer it ● do it before that of my Salvation A Prayer AH most blessed Incomprehensible and ●nal Lord God Glorious in Hol● fearfull in Praises doing wonders the ●vens are not pure in thy sight and yet tho● graciously pleased in Jesus Christ to look d● and to dwell in poor Man who is sinfull ● and Ashes thou livest only in the highest ●vens and in the lowest hearts the one is Kingdom of Glory the other of thy Grace ● Lord make my heart so low in my own estee● it may be so high in thine that thou may'st ● it thy delight to dwell in it for ever Ah ● when I consider all that thou hast done for ● and all that I have done against thee I a● shamed and confusion seems to cover my fac● Vail having O Lord transgrest all thy and just Laws and broken wilfully willi● knowingly and presumptuously all thy Di● Commandments from the first to the last ● the greatest to the least as well by Comm● as Omission as well by Actual sin as Orig● sin knowingly as well as ignorantly both ● fully and willingly on thy days as well a● our days in thy house as in other houses in●ing thy work as in doing my own work in●ties as well as out of duties praying sins ● sins meditating sins Sermon sins and Sa●ent sins so that my repentance must be re●ed off and my Prayers Prayed against e● my sighs and groans have need of tears ●ash them and my very tears of doubled ● How Lord have I made thy holy things un● unto my self and turned thy graces into ●tonness and quencht the motions of thy ho●irit by wilfulness how Lord have I trea●d up wrath against the day of wrath unto my ● soul and made thee a savour of death unto when thou comest as a Savour of life how ●e I Lord hated to be reformed and turn●rom thee when thou camest running towards in love and in mercy how have I cast thy ●ises behind my back and trampled thy pre●s under my feet how many times have I ●ken my Promises Vows and Covenants ●e with thee in my straights with how much ●e eagerness and earnestness have I served ● sinful Lusts then thee in thy services my ●d Lord God! and how much more pains ●e I taken for earthly things then for hea●ly how much more delight some have these ●gs below and the remembrance of them ●en unto me then the things above how ●ch sweeter hath sin been to me then grace ●● how have I bent my will against thy great ●● holy will in all things how willingly and how fast O Lord did I run in the ways ●ternal destruction and how good Lord ● I vehemently delighted and laboured to ● others to commit the same sins and to d● same things how easily and how willingly ● believe the suggestions of the Devil and ● what willingness have I left thy work ● how often good Lord to do his nay w● is yet worse how often have I tempted him tempter to tempt me unto sin when I knew ● the wages of sin was death even Temp● Spiritual and Eternal for body and soul d● my very utmost to destroy both But what O Lord are all these sins those I do not to those I cannot remember ● that both for greatness and multitude yea w● are all the sins I have committed to th● would have committed had'st not thou in l● and in mercy O most gracious loving ● most mercifull Father in Jesus Christ ● strained me and come in continually unto help and succour even when I was altoget● helpless and succourless thou did'st O Lo● own me when I would not own thee thou di● run after me when I did my utmost to run fr● thee thou did'st O Lord continue knocki● when I would not open to thee and wert'st ●tented such was thy endearing loving love ● to me to stand at the door of my
thine accustomed good and gracious Protection and Providence again called and brought me Ah let not O Lord my former many frequent great and grievous sins committed here in this place chiefly be brought to thy mind or had in remembrance of thee any more and so cause thee to hide thy glorious face and presence from me and take away thine Holy Spirit and give me up to a Spirit of delusion and to mine own hearts lusts and affections which I take to be O Lord the sorest and the greatest of thy Judgments upon earth in this life but rather Ah rather O Lord shew forth thy goodness and thy compassion unto me miserable sinner vile wretch sinful abominable dust and ashes a worm and no man yea the very worst of the worst of men O Lord I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ and for his sake alone to pass by and forgive all my former iniquities transgressions blasphemies and sins by nayling them to his Cross who was crucified for them that they might not crucifie me by burying them in his grave who died for them that they might not put me to death and was buried that they might never rise in Judgment against me to terrifie me here in this life or to condemn me in the life to come Ah my good Lord God for thy great goodness sake grant that here where I have so much so often and so frequently disowned thee and blasphemed thee I may own thee and praise thee and thou own me for thine own that here where I have so much and so often dishonoured thee by my wicked devilish and sinful life serving and even giving my self up to serve Devils lusts Worlds lusts and self lusts I may honour thee by despising and trampling them under my feet and serving thee in thy ways of holiness and righteousness all the days of my life that here here O Lord where I have despised thee I may adore thee that here O Lord even here where I have walked so contrary unto thee I may henceforth walk well pleasing before thee that here here O Lord where I have hated thee I may henceforth and for ever shew forth my love to thee and for thee that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often grieved thee I may take heed and carefully endeavour to glad thee by all things that I do speak or think that here even here O Lord God where I have caused thee to mourn I may cause thee mightily to rejoyce that here even here O Lord my God where I have so often and so cruelly crucified thee I may without remorse or compassion crucifie all those sinful lusts and affections that did it that here even here O Lord where I have so much and so often put thee to open shame by my sinful filthy abominable devilsh life and conversation I may openly frequently and mightily applaud praise and glorifie thy holy holy most holy name that here O Lord even here where I have done so much yea all that I could against thee I may with all my power might strength heart will and affections do all even all that I can for thee that here even here O Lord where I have in all things at all times and in all places deserted dishonoured and disobeyed thee Ah Lord my Lord now and my God grant I most humbly and unfeignedly beseech thee that I may in all things at all times and in all places and companies serve honour and obey thee by night and by day sleeping and waking on thy days O Lord and on our days in thy house O Lord and in all other houses at thy Table O Lord and at all other Tables in and by all my thoughts words and actions Grant O Lord that here where sin hath so much abounded grace may much more abound and grant I also most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that those that have seen me grow up in all sin may see sin destroyed in me with an utter and total destruction and separation and my growth i● all grace may appear Grant O Lord that those that have been tempted by me and sinned by my example may by my example flie sin and sins Temptations and be brought home with me unto thee to serve thee and that here where I have served Satan and been an instrument in his work Grant O Lord I besech thee that I may despight him to his face and by thine Almighty power I may trample all his powerful temptations under my feet shewing forth O Lord that thy Kingdom power and glory is in my heart by my doing thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven by crucifying and mortifying all sinful lusts and affections the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life for he that is born of God must and will overcome the world and depart from all iniquity Grant O my God in Jesus Christ that here where I have been a member of Satan I may be a member of Christ my Saviour bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh a member of his mystical body of grace here and of his glorious body in glory hereafter that here even here O Lord where I have been a Son of Satan a Child of wrath I may be an adopted Son and Child of God an heir of Heaven and Co-heir with Jesus Chsist of that Kingdom life and glory which he hath provided and prepared for the Saints in life where their God will not I trust be ashamed to be called my God nor their Father to be called my Father Inflame O Lord my heart with hearty and sincere zeal in thy service that I may not do thy work faintingly droopingly drousily nor negligently but faithfully circumspectly willingly cheerfully obediently and perseveringly unto the end of my days that thou O Lord my Lord and my God mayest be at all times in all places and above all things my joy my Crown of joy and my rejoycing my ultimate end aim and desire my supream soveraign principal chief and superiour good my lot my portion and mine inheritance for ever And to this end suffer me not O Lord I humbly beseech thee to walk in my old ways and paths of sin but in thine O Lord God of holiness and righteousness not according to mine own sinful and deceitful heart which is all evil only evil and continually evil but O God according to thine heart which is all good only good and continually good that thou mayest so delight me that all my delight may so delight thee and make thee O Lord God my only delight love me O Lord in Jesus Christ that I may love thee honour me that I may honour thee magnifie me that I may magnifie thee live in me that I may live in thee do all for me that I may do all and be all for thee that I may not henceforth O Lord speak mine own words but thine not think my own thoughts but
when we love our Selves only that is chiefly for our selves for our own sakes such desire Heavens joys to enjoy them because they are the greatest joys 't is not Heaven for God but God for Heaven that they would and that they mind they love the wages but not the work the Crown but not the Cross to reign with Christ and as Christ doth but not to suffer with Christ and as Christ did to wear his Crown of Glory but not his Crown of Thorns to live as he doth but not as he did to be his Servant in Heaven but not his Disciple on Earth to have the recompence of Reward there as a good and faithfull Servant but not to serve him here as a Son or a Servant they would willingly have their own will done both on Earth and in Heaven but not his on Earth no not for Heaven they would believe in him but not suffer for him they would live with him there but not dye with him here they fly many times from sin because of the pain woe grief and torment it will bring they fly from the punishment not from the sin they hate not sin as it is sin and because it is Sin for many times they love the sin which they commit not which they dare not commit and so they many times do good but not because it is good and for that it is the Command of God their delight is not to him nor his ways nor to the keeping of his Commandments but their delight is ●o delight themselves the end of all their aim and the aim of all their end is to please themselves and therefore if at any time they do good it is to do good to themselves 't is not for God's sake nor for goodness sake but for their own sakes for many times they do what they would not do and seem to love what they do not love and to hate what they do not hate they prefer the flesh to please the flesh and to enjoy fleshly pleasures before the pleasing of God and the enjoying of God and spiritual pleasures they prefer Communion with the Creature before Communion with the Creator and their own low base ends before his high holy great and glorious ends how dully droopingly faintly feebly coldly and sluggishly do they go about Gods work and service any thing that concerns his honour and glory what icy frozen benumm'd dead hearts have they thereunto though in the doing of all this it is to do for themselves to work for themselves and to serve themselves but how Ah how jollily cheerfully lively nimbly quickly ardently and hotly do they go about the things that no whit at all concerns God but themselves how stoutly strongly and vigorously do they wrestle for the world and the things of the world and to have a blessing of increase on their works and labour for the flesh but how ah how faintly cowardly and feebly do they wrestle with God in duties in prayer meditation hearing and reading the word of God as if they would not that blessing or at least cared not for it thus God's work and Soul work is to them of little concernment and when they do mind the Soul and Heaven it is because of its happiness they then seek God for Heavens sake but never Heaven for God's sake and even then when the Lord sends a fair wind with the breath and spirit of his grace into their hearts to hasten them forward to their place of rest and to make them to sail over the floods and tempests of tentations and waves of opposition yet then Ah then so selfish fond stupid and ignorant are they as they hoyse up all the Sayls they can to go against this sweet new fresh gale they row and tug and toyl to go back from their Port from their Haven Harbour which is so near them desiring not to come so soon to their journeys end they desire not so soon to end their journeying travel and pains in the flesh they prefer this travel and toyl and care before that peace and rest and ease and joy and though this all all this be but vanity and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit yet so contrary are they to God and his ways that they will none of them as long as they can these they gladly and willingly will put off that day for this nay though God do at times shew some of them Heaven as he did Paul and they behold things utterable and with Peter see the glory of the Lord which is unconcivable yet these foresights and fore-tasts being taken from them or they from it Ah how soon do they forget that ever they saw any such thing how soon how gladly willingly and cheerfully do they return to Egypt the place of their Captivity and joyfully and heartily feed on the Garlick and Onions yea on the husks that Swines feed on so much love they have to themselves as they forget God and that they were Created for him and unto good works to please and serve him such then as thus love or love thus are self-lovers only or chiefly and therefore not right or true lovers because they love not God rightly therefore not truly for he is to be beloved first of all most of all beyond and above all he being our only chief supream Soveraign superiour and best good all good being in him and flows only from him he containing all and being contained by none 54. But as for me O Lord as for me I know O Lord I know that there is none in Heaven but thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee a Door-keeper O Lord a Door-keeper in thy House do I much prefer choose and embrace rather than to dwell in Tents or Tabernacles with the wicked with those that know thee not and that fear thee not I much rather Ah Lord thou knowest that I had much rather be afflicted and choose and prefer banishment poverty contempt disgrace imprisonment and death for thy sake and the Gospels as thy Servant rather yea much rather than to enjoy all these pleasures in the flesh these fleshly pleasures with the wicked any life O Lord and any death yea that life and that death in that place and condition as may bring thee most glory do I most humbly and unfeignedly beg in Jesus Christ and for his sake Ah Lord God I hast me unto thee I desire to flye into thee and to be found ever in thee yea though thou shouldest make all my life as Paul's and Peter's were when they saw and enjoyed in part those blessed joys prepared and laid up for the blessed yea though I could always see Heaven open as Stephen and thou O Lord my Jesus and my Christ standing at the right hand of God should not would not my heart heartily say with Simeon Lord now let thy servant depart in peace for mine eyes have seen thy great Salvation would it not cry out none but Christ none but
joy of enjoying that true Communion with the true God though here on earth me thinks I am not on earth but in Heaven and yet I know all this is but an earthly Heaven though a Heaven 102. But how then Ah how then doth my heart rejoyce with joy unspeakable knowing that the time will come and is ever near at hand when I shall ever enjoy Heavens true joys which is God himself the joy of all joys yea all joys that are true 103. O Lord thou knowest that the Heaven which my soul desireth on earth is to do thy whole holy and blessed will on earth as it is done in Heaven 104. I desire to live O God and give my heart unto thee That hast in love and mercy given thine own unto me 105. Ah Lord my God let me so hear thy blessed most blessed voyce that my soul may live and so live as to praise thee for to praise thee is to live yea to live in thee and for thee which to do is the desire I have to live 106. Give me then power O God that hast all power in thy self that I may fight powerfully against all my powerfull Enemies and by the power of thy might which is an Almighty power I may tread and trample all their powers under my feet 107. Give me O Lord give me such fear as may cause me to love thee and such love as to fear thee and to cast out all fear 108. Meditation is the heart of the heart the soul of the soul which is the strength and life of all devotion 109. When in meditation God hath spoken peace unto thy soul Ah then do thou by thanksgiving with thy heart praise laud and him extol 110. He that will have Heaven on earth must meditate on Earth of Heaven 111. To have God abide with us we must by meditation abide with him 112. To have God live in us we must with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life live to him 113. To have God dwell in us we must open our affections which is the door of our hearts to let him into our hearts and continually feast him with true and unfeigned love loving none but him in comparison of him 114. To have God love us we must love him that is make him our choice above and beyond all other things choosing him for our chief and superiour good that is beyond above and more than all other things he must have all our hearts that is our hearts more than all other things 115. To have God delight in us our Delight End and Aim must be to delight him that is by walking well-pleasing unto him all the days of our whole lives as Christ did yesterday to day and for ever 116. To have God direct us how we shall walk we must be carefull and heedfull to walk as he doth and shall direct us 117. To have God preserve us we must believe in him trust on him depend and rowle our selves upon him 118. To have God maintain us we must cast all our care upon him for the earth is his and the fulness thereof 119. To have God sustain us and be our help we must hope only in him for he will fail us never and not put any trust in Princes or in the Sons of Men for in them there is no help their breath goeth forth they return to the earth in that very day his thoughts perish 120. To have God be all ours we must be all his that is in thought word and deed and not think our own thoughts or speak our own words nor do our own works but do all to the praise of his holy holy holy name 121. He that would live with the Lord in Heaven must live to the Lord on earth 122. He that would have the Lord to be his Lord and his God must serve honour and obey him as his Lord and fear worship and adore him as his God 123. He that would reign with the Lord Christ in Heaven must be contented to be arraigned for him as he was for us on earth 124. He that would sit with him there in glory above must be content to sit with him that is as he did in contempt here below 125. He that would rejoyce with him there must be contented to sigh and grieve and weep and mourn as he did here 126. He that would have all things with him there must be content if he will so have it to have as he had nothing here 127. He that would be received by God his Father there as by his Father must do his will as Christ did here that is as his Son 128. He that would wear an incorruptible Crown of glory for ever there must be content if he will so have it to wear a Crown of Thorns as he did here 129. He that would have an Eternal weight of glory there must be content and rejoyce under Eternal ignominy here 130. He that would have all things with others there must be willing to do all things for others here 131. He that would have Christ for his Jesus there to save him must believe in him as his Jesus Christ here that is as the way the truth and the life unto Eternal life 132. He that would have him there his advocate to plead his sinfull bad case must here plead for and in behalf of his blessed good case 133. He that would have him as a judge to acquit him there must judge and condemn himself here 134. And he that would not be condemn'd with the world there must not with the world and as the world doth live here 135. And he that would not be cast out with Reprobates there must have no Communication or Conversation with them here 136. And he that would not be of the number of the Devils Goats there must come unto Christ's flock and be of his Fold and of his Sheep here 137. And he that would live with the Righteous there must labour after Holiness and Righteousness here 138. And he that would be sure to dye their death to put it out of all doubt must live their life 139. And he that would enter into his Masters and Lords joy there must be the joy of his Lord and Master here that is his well-doing good and faithfull Servant 140. Seeing then that these things O Lord shall surely be make me through grace such a Person as I ought to be 141. Now seeing that holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness Ah Lord make me all holy that I may be all Heavenly let holiness always dwell within me that Heaven may be always within me and that I may be always in Heaven 142. And seeing O Lord that our desire chiefly to be in Heaven is to be free from all sin and to be holy as thou art holy Ah let me labour for and long after holiness on earth yea and to be so holy that though I am on earth I may be also in Heaven and Heaven
things are so much out of him that is out of his heart out of his mind out of his memory out of his affections his desires his will his love or his liking that his joy is augmented greatly that they are so outed of him for then only he saith Now I have what I would have yea all that ever I did desire or crave for my God is to me all things and much better than all other things 50. Ah Lord bury me I most humbly beseech thee thus in thy self that I may be dead to all other things to all things out of thee and besides thee let me Ah let me so possess thee and be possest so by thee as I may only and always mind thee and have thee only and always in my mind Let love to all the pleasures of the flesh though lawful be low poor icy cold and frozen to me that I may flee from them all to be heated by the fire of thy love to live in those blessed Sacred flames which is the life I desire to live for out of them I cannot live as I would life is to me death and death would be a sweet life delivering me from many deaths 51. Suffer me not Ah suffer me not O Lord to love any thing else how lovely or lawful soever it may be if it hinder or lessen never so little my loving of thee but bet me only choose prize esteem and delight in thy love and to walk worthy of it by all well-pleasing rejoycing to do thy holy will with my whole heart mind and will 52. Such and so great is thy love and thy goodness O Lord that thou delightest to make us good and then delightest in our goodness thou delightest to give us grace and then delightest in our graces thou delightest to make us holy and then delightest in our holiness thou delightest to make us perfect and then thou delightest in our perfection thou delightest to make us obedient and then thou delightest in our obedience thou delightest to make us lovely and then thou takest delight in our loveliness thou delightest Ah thou delightest to make us such as thou wouldst have us to be and then thou takest great delight in the work of thine hands even in thine own handy-work 53. Ah our great most great God how greatly great is thy greatness How greatly good is thy goodness how greatly true is thy truth how greatly just is thy Justice how greatly mighty is thy might how greatly lovely is thy love how greatly beautiful is thy beautiful countenance how greatly Ah how greatly sweet are all thy Sweets how greatly delightful are all thy delights how pleasant Ah how pleasant are all thy pleasant things with thee O God is fulness of all joy unspeakable joy and from thy right hand flow pleasures for evermore 54. Ah the joys the joys even in this worlds joys when God is in them and comes with them and when in that therein alone we take and make all our joy 55. God many times is so gracious as he takes us napping that is gives us grace when we sought it not yea gives us himself many times when we seek him not when we think not of him 56. How doth he many times measure out unto us and shower down upon us such measure of mercy even when we never measured the sweetness nor the greatness of what we received much less of that which we did not of that which we could not expect 57. Ah how much above all things is our God even in the want of all things of all this worlds all that soul Ah that soul that hath him finds not nor cannot find any want at all 58. But wanting Ah wanting him in the midst of all we have nothing even nothing at all but want all even all in the very enjoyment of all this worlds all 59. O God our God thou fillest us many times so full that we even flow over with thy fulness even then many times when we see our selves find feel and know our selves most empty and many times thou causest us to bear and bring forth most fruit even then when we think and see our selves most barren we have thee O God we have thee many times most when we think that we have thee least and thou art nighest us when we think Ah when we think that thou art farthest off from us such a good God is our God 60. How much better is it to be a Lazarus to beg at a Dives's door than be a Dives and suffer a Lazarus to beg at our doors and not to give him of our goods 61. How much better is it to have nothing at ●ll of this worlds all then to have this worlds all and give of it Ah and to give of it unto others nothing at all 62. How much better is it to feed on thee O God and to have nothing else to feed on than to feed on all things else and not to taste of thee of thine own sweet blessed most blessed and most sweet self O God in Christ who art the souls only food by faith 63. Having thee O God we are soon filled yea feasted and solaced with all delicious dainties but feeding on all other things and not tasting O God of thy pleasant things they have all no taste at all 64. O God thou know'st I would most willingly be Ah most willingly I would be a child yea a very fool in wisdom for the world or of worldly wisdom for to get or keep earthly things to be an old man in Christ to learn know feel and keep spiritual things Ah if I could always walk talk and live in the Spirit and obey the Spirit I would account all other joys and wisdom very toyes and meer foolishness 65. To forget all things out of God and besides God and to mind him so as to have nothing else in my mind this Ah this is my longing desire and I trust it will continue in me through grace and augment untill I have all I would have which is my Christ my Christ who is my God 66. Take all this worlds all ye men of the world give me my God my God and I will never ask yours your God But yet I would that ye had mine that my God were your God that my Portion were all your Portion also and that we might be ever brethren 67. Let me Ah let me be blind as it were to see beauty in no beauty out of thee O Christ dumb to hear no voice but thine Ah the still sweet voice of thy Spirit and senseless to feel no pleasure but in those things O God as are pleasing pretious and dear in thy sight lame so as I may not walk after any other thing but thee my God my God so that I may be only thine and none but thine at all times and in all places companies and things 68. He that hath not tasted of the sweetness of God even of those sweet sweets
the children of God rather than commit the pleasures of sin for a season rather than in the least displease thy Christ thy Jesus thy God thy good thy Saviour and thy Redeemer for a moment much rather by much suffer the afflictions due to sin than sin and suffer no affliction for surely a Saints greatest affliction is sin sin is the very worst of Hell to him that makes God his best Heaven the Heaven of Heaven in Heaven 98. Dost thou feel thy heart heartily to long for the knowledge of God and all his ways to love fear serve honour and obey him And dost thou find that all that thou dost is nothing to what thou would'st and desirest and longest to do Thy very best is too too bad thy most holy things are too too unholy and all thine all even nothing at all thou art altogether ashamed of thy self that thou art what thou art and abhorrest thy self in dust and ashes accounting thy self as thou art in thy self the vilest of Creatures the greatest of sinners and the very worst of the worst of men 99. And this causeth in thee sorrow shame grief and astonishment wondring that such a God should love such a man such a worm such a wretch such a miscreant such a dog such a sinnner yea such a devil as thou art in thy self Dost thou thus condemn thy self loath and abhor thy self and art thus truly angry with thy self and ashamed of thy self and of all thy doings and marvellest how thou canst find acceptance at such a glorious Throne of grace and gracious Throne of Glory and that God hath had so long patience and that he did not cut thee off long ago and give thee thy portion with thy brethren in Iniquity Whoremongers Drunkards Prophaners of the Sabbath with the Covetous Proud Boasters Malicious Raylers False accusers c. even with the devil and his angels and that thou dost esteem it a Heaven that thou art not now in Hell giving continual Glory to God in Christ that thou wert not consumed and cut off long ago and that he hath not given only space to repent but also grace to repent from all and every sin in thought word and deed even with repentance unto life never to be repented of 100. And if thus thou art in sincere truth I say if in truth and sincerity these or the like be thy desires endeavours life and living end and aim habitually continually and universally then art thou what thou shouldst be and what God would have thee to be assure thy self thy heart is upright clean pure holy and perfect even according to Gods own holy heart thou art a man in Christ a member of Christ and surely surely Christ will assuredly own thee for his own and always love thee and live in thee even as he doth in his own as he doth to those in whom he liveth and whom he loveth and thy life shall henceforth be hid with Christ in God so that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in glory thou shalt also appear with him to his eternal glory and thine everlasting comfort joy and eternal salvation 101. And therefore O man of God child of God son of God and servant of the eternal and ever living God chear up thy self and rejoyce yea I say evermore rejoyce for God is thy God and thy Father thy Portion thy Lot and thine Inheritance thou art surely his and he is as surely thine and Christ Jesus will be also thine all all thine the way the truth and the life to bring thee unto and give the possession of eternal life life eternal which he hath prepared for thee by his death and is preparing thee for it by his life for he lives to make continual intercession for thee the holy Spirit of grace the Sanctifier and the Comforter is thine he will guide thee lead thee direct thee keep thee and preserve thee unto the end even in the ways of all holiness and righteousness of peace joy comfort and consolation which are the foretasts and fore-sights of eternal life and salvation the very beginnings of the beatifical Vision of glory in glory and of those ravishing joys and pleasures prepared and laid up for the Just before the beginning of the world was which are such as eye hath not seen as ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive being much ah much above all that we can ask or think for there we shall ever possess and enjoy all joys unspeakable joys yea fulness of all joys and pleasures for evermore even God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost who is all in all and in all the blessed to him alone be eternally given all Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now and for ever and ever Amen Amen 102. None but the true children of God can truly love Gods children they that are his will love those that are his chiefly and most because they are his and those most that appear to be his most and those dearliest that are his dearest 103. I will much more more by much rejoyce in an obedient heart to submit unto and to do the whole and holy will of God in all cases conditions and places than to enjoy the wisdom of Solomon and all the honours riches delights and pleasures of the whole world 104. Ah Lord let my heart never be at rest until I find that it doth most willingly freely joyfully and choosingly submit and acquiesce unto all that God will be it what it will and to say of all things and in all conditions so would I have it 105. There is surely nothing so delightful unto the heart of a true Christian as to do the whole will of God holily and heartily as to please him by a sincere hearty and cheerful obedience universally 106. Ah the joys the joys the true joys the great joys yea the unspeakable joys the peace the peace the comfort the comfort the solace and the rest and quiet that is in the heart of him that feareth always from love for it destroys all servile fear and causeth such joy and gladness as passeth all understanding 107. What ah what honour is there like that as truly and sincerely to honour God! What pleasure ah what pleasure like that as always to please God! What joy ah what joy like that as always to enjoy God! What happiness ah what happiness like that comparable to that as to know him to be ours and we to be his What peace ah what peace like that as when we know our peace to be made with the God of peace through and by Jesus Christ the King and Prince of peace witnessed unto us by the continual indwelling in us of the Spirit of peace the Sanctifier of our souls and the Comforter of our hearts Ah what comfort what comfort like unto that as to find our selves in God and that great good God to be
Ah Lord God what is it to know all things from the Cedar to the Hyssop if we have not our understanding enlightned to comprehend that we are comprehended of thee 113. Let me only have this honour and I will despise all other honours and dishonours yea let me be despised by all so that I may be thus honoured O God by thee by thee O God by thee 114. All things O God compared to the knowledge of thee is not nor shall not I trust be ever at all regarded or esteemed by me 115. For if I can but once attain to know thee as thou art to be known I am sure I shall have all that I can desire to know to possess or to have 116. Having thee alone O God I shall have all that is or can ever be attained either here or hereafter 117. I know that there is none in Heaven that have more or that desire more let me have what they have and I shall then be as they be satisfied but till I have as much at least as any I cannot say that I have enough for my desires are as large And till I am thus filled as they are that thus know thee possess thee and adore thee I cannot but cry out with continual hungring and thirstings Oh feed me Oh fill me for I am empty and want all things if thou dost not O God thus fill me with thy bounty and satisfie me with thy loving kindness and cause me to see and know that thou art mine and that I am only thine 118. Ah Lord God I know it is thee only only thee that canst cast out Devils Ah cast out I most humbly beseech thee all the Devils that are in me thou O God that raisest from death to life and that forgivest all our sins freely even for thine own names sake only 119. All that is done in me is done by thee O God it is thine arm that bringeth me so great Salvation 120. Ah Lord God thou only art able to teach and none but those that are immediately taught by the spirit know thee or thy teachings 121. Ah Lord teach me then but to know thee as thou art known by thine and I will not care for any other knowledge or any other thing for he that hath this one thing given him may truly say as Jacob did that he hath all 122. Thou art O Lord God that well of life and water of life that whoever drinketh of that is hath thee in himself shall never more thirst again after any other thing for thou wilt O Christ be ever in him a well of water springing in him even unto Eternal life 123. Thou art O Christ thou art that bread of life that cometh down from Heaven into our hearts and feedest our souls in the assurance of faith sight and knowledge unto Everlasting life 124. Thou art ours and we are thine and this we are taught by thine own spirit dwelling in us and not by any other teaching or science 125. And being thus perswaded and assured our hearts do continually rejoyce yea and shall rejoyce continually even for ever and for ever 126. Such is the Mighty Power of God unto those that know him and wait on him that he maketh as it were at times the very stones in the wall to look on us and to speak good unto us 127. Such is Gods goodness that his presence brings with it all good and makes it present to us and dissipates all evil so as we are in some measure changed from evil to good and emptied of all evil and filled with all good But Ah its duration for the most part for the most of times is little and soon departs such is our forwardness and proneness to all evil and our aversness and deadness to all that is good which makes the Children of God with Paul to be weary yea stark weary of themselves as of a dead body yea to esteem their bodies their own natural affections even as dead bodies wherefore they desire to be dissolved finding such a Law in their members as continually fighteth and warreth against the Law of God in their minds and leads them so often Captive unto the Law of sin that they complain in the very language of that blessed Apostle Ah wretched man miserable worm that I am when shall I be delivered when shall I be freed and set at liberty when shall it be with me as my Soul desires it were to live unto God as I should as I would and not thus live in death or die all the day long whilst I am alive 128. Ah most glorious and most Holy Lord God it is thy glory that thou art what thou art and it is our mighty shame that we are what we are thy purity and thy power O God is only known unto thy self we indeed see something of thee But all that all the Angels and blessed in Heaven see were all their sight and knowledge in one of them would yet be much less by much than the least drop is to the whole Ocean yea than one moment is or would be unto Eternity Thou art O God thou art incomprehensibly glorious powerful and great there is no end of thy goodness for it shall continue for ever and for ever world without end so be it O Lord so be it Amen Amen 129. Let me O God my God be so swallowed up into thee as I may ask after nothing but thee as I may speak of nothing but the nor hear nothing in me but thee that I may desire nothing but thee and may live unto nothing but thee so that I may be all thine and nothing but thine 130. This knowledge O God of thee passeth all understanding none can speak of it unless thou speakest it in him and that is according unto us and not according to thee for if thou should'st speak unto us according to thy self Ah Lord we could not hear thee so as to comprehend it 131. As we have thee O God so we speak of thee as we know thee so we declare thee as we feel thee so we praise thee and as we comprehend thee so we prise thee and according as thou art unto us so we publish it unto others But alas alas what is this to thee to what thou art 132. Let not him that hath the most boast for he hath nought but what is given him 133. Let not him that hath the least be discouraged for he hath so much as will do him most good at the last 134. Let not him that is fallen cast himself down over much for God if he seek him will raise him up again 135. Let every man wait and in due time he shall have so much of that which God seeth and knoweth is best for him 136. The best of all is that which God seeth to be best of all for us and so much he will not fail to give thee O man who ever thou art if thou relye and depend on him
of my natural darkness which is darker than the blackest night and be also unto me a fire by day in the mid'st of thine own light in me which is clearer and brighter than the brightest day that I may burn O God in the Sacred and Divine flames of saving knowledge and obedience unto my lives end 16. Instruct me O Lord in thine own Laws and write them so upon my heart that I may never depart from them 17. Feast me and fill me O Lord so with thine own self that I may be all thine and thou all mine 18. It is the spirit of Christ or Christ in the Spirit which is perfect God living in us that Gal. 3. 27. makes us Christians which is to be like Christ to be Baptized in him to have put him on and this oneness with Christ God is in all the Saints all the Saints are thus one in God with Christ he in us and we in him MEDITATIONS ON DEATH HOW It appears to the Godly and to the Wicked after a great Sickness ALL happiness is in Christ and in possessing of him and there is no true happiness out of Christ All the whole world is much too little and too low to be compared to Christ and to the living in him Though he should want bread to eat and Cloaths to put on Christ I am sure alone will satisfie and truly please and content any man A naked Christ a poor Christ that is a Christ that shall bring nakedness and if as with Job Poverty and uncomliness he will be to a Soul that truly knows him the fairest of ten thousand without spot or wrinkle the only fair and beautiful the only desirable the whole and only desires the riches honour treasure and pleasure of all souls that truly know him A soul that truly knows Christ cannot live as he would without a farther knowledge of him living in him to have Communion and fellowship with him which is of more value to him and he prizeth it more than ten thousand worlds and lives Christ being above all things and more than all things much by much A Christians last hour is his best hour the hour of his Death is the best hour of all his life yea that hour is the true beginning of life for Death sin and Hell are swallowed up into Victory and the Devil totally and finally overcome Death is advantagious unto a Christian divers wayes when he dyes then he begins to live in the Lord who is the Lord of life and glory then he shall in a very great measure know feel and see the unspeakable love of God to him but I conceive not altogether so as it is in God that shall even surpass our knowledge there for we shall be swallowed up into it and be filled with it it shall contain us but we shall not be able to contain it and there shall we have continual and perfect love to love God perfectly and continually even as he would have us to love him which is the continual fulfilling the whole Law and which will make us of all things most like himself for God is love and surely it is the most lovely grace of all graces both on earth as well as in Heaven and so through grace I have found it Ah let us never then pray against Death which brings us these and a thousand more Heavenly advantages but rather be prepared to meet it with joy and embrace it as our best friend next to Christ Ah how sweet is Death even almost as Heaven to that soul that is housed in God and hath his peace made sure with him Death to such a soul is much better than any life Ah how sweet is Death to that soul that knows Heaven is prepared for him and finds and feels himself prepared for Heaven and sees his Saviour with his blessed arms spread abroad to welcome and embrace him and his glorious head bowed down to kiss him and he nigh him to receive him into his Everlasting Habitation of rest joy and peace Death at the worst is but a sweet sleep to the body to him that dyes in the Lord for he rests from all his labours but it is life to the soul and it shall ever live in and with the Lord of life and Glory I am sure to a good Christian that is such a one as is in some measure like Christ that lives and walks and doth as far as he is able as Christ did when he was here in the flesh the thoughts of death and its being not far off bring him the most joy next to the Glory of God and his interest in him by Christ Ah how sweet is death to that soul that knows himself to be long since dead to all sin Death is sweet to all such souls because he be-friends them so much as in a moment to house them in the blessed arms of their blessed Redeemer Christ Jesus Death is sweet to them that are in Christ because he carries them in a moment to live in his presence for ever and for ever and to enjoy him as he is to be enjoyed and to be made like him glorious as he is glorious though not so glorious Death is to all that are in Christ as Elijah's Chariot of fire which purifies them and expels all the remainder of Corruption that is within them that is by death all evil is done away we are no more capable of sin by death death is destroyed and life appears But Death to the wicked is the Devils Chariot sent from Hell to bring them quickly there as Jehu's Chariot it drives them furiously thither from whence none is able to deliver Death to the Godly is a Consuming fire to all their sins they shall not ever more be seen or remembred but it is a fire as from Gods Altar to purifie their graces and to make them shine more radiant than the Sun after death they shall in a moment be made perfectly pure and purely perfect and ever so abide But Death to the Wicked is that fire of Hell that shall consume all the good that ever they did so as it shall not nor cannot be seen nor remembred but it will make all the evil that ever they committed either in thought word or deed to be ever before the eyes of God and all the blessed in Heaven and before the Devils and all the damned and their own as if writ with a beam of the Sun Death to those that are in Christ brings them to hear that sweet and ever blessed voice of Christ himself come ye blessed inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from all Eternity and well done good and faithful● Servant enter thou into the joy of thy Lord. But death to the Wicked will bring them in a moment for ever to hear that most doleful voice from the mouth of Christ go ye cursed with whom with the Devil and his Angels into everlasting burning into that fire that cannot be quenched which
Heavenly Eternal and Incomprehensible Glorious Lord God the God and Father of all mercies and of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ I thy poor and unworthy creature despicably poor blind and naked and out of Christ I confess and acknowledge that I have nothing wherewith to cover my nakedness and deformity but unclean filthy raggs my own righteousness being unrighteousness my own obedience being disobedience my own worthiness being unworthiness so that all my all is even nothing at all and can be fitly compared to nothing but to nothing I see now and know my self to be a most miserable wretch the chiefest and the greatest of all sinners yea the very worst of the worst of all the sons of Adam dry bones rottenness filthiness barrenness uncleanness naughtiness emptiness unsavoury salt a well without water a broken cistern that can hold no water impurity unholiness all evil and altogether all evil always without and within in Spirit Soul and Body all my thoughts words and actions and that continually I sincerely confess and proclaim unto thee O God and before Angels and Men that there is nothing in me as I am in my self which doth or can deserve the least of all thy mercies not the least look of Love not the least smile nor glance of one of thine eyes O Lord in favour nor to be admitted to look up to Heaven or call thee O God Father nor to expect the least admittance into thy glorious presence Thou mayest O God thou mayest most justly reprove and reproach me openly and take all my Prayers Petitions and what else soever and as dung throw them in my face to my everlasting shame and confusion and to thine own honour glory and praise thy judgment would be just right and good and all both good and bad must and would applaud thee for it and my own soul and Conscience would say Amen thereunto for there is not any of thy Divine Commandments and most holy laws but I have broken again and again wittingly willingly knowingly and presumptuously I have often cast thy precepts behind my back and trampled them under my feet I have often O God I confess I have often turned thy grace into wantonness quencht the sweet and blessed motions of thy holy Spirit hated to be reformed chose the ways of Hell death and destruction for Body and Soul and run knowingly and wilfully out of the ways of Heaven bliss and everlasting rest and happiness I would not that thou shouldest reign over me who art the Lord of Life and Glory I have prophan'd thy house thy Sanctuary thine Ordinances thy Word and Sacraments Thus even thus and a thousand times worse have I rebelliously and traiterously acted against thy Soveraignty and Power though I knew that thou wert Lord over all and above all even God blessed for ever and for ever by whom I did live move and had my being Ah Lord I know well that thou knowest all that I have ever done against thee or would have done I know well that nothing is or can be hid from thee thou seest into the dark corners and crannies of our hearts thoughts and affections thou knowest what I am and what I would be and how I should have ●hus continued unto my lives end hadst ●hou not in love and mercy pull'd me out of the everlasting burning as a brand out of the fire if thou hadst not O God come in ●o my help and succour the Devil had devoured me the Devil had destroyed me for ever and for ever for I was his captive his vassal his slave I did his will I obeyed his commands I did even run when he ●id me go But ever praised be thy transcendent glorious name O God of all goodness and Father of Love mercy and compassion that wert pleased to make my calamity and extremity thine opportunity that then even then when thou sawest that all help out of thy self was in vain thou shouldest be pleased to come and succour me and set me free to break the fetters and chains by which I was led as a most miserable Caitif and Captive almost into Hell it self thou hast O God thou hast broken the snares and I am escaped thou hast delivered my Soul from death and my Songs shall be to praise thee whilst I live I will praise thee O Lord my deliverer and never keep silence rather would I that my tongue should cleave to the roof of my mouth than not declare the mercies and the loving kindness of thee my God to my poor Soul and I trust as well as pray and beseech thee O my God and Father in Jesus Christ that thou wilt daily put new Songs of praise into my mouth and that thou wilt in some measure enable me to speak fitly worthily and opportunely of thy gratious dealings towards me that those that hear and know thee may with me labour to be more affected and delighted with thee and prize thee yet at a far higher prize and that others that hear and know thee not may so hear as that they may resolve to seek thee with us and may see thee to be the fairest of ten thousand yea the only fair lovely beautiful and desirable But O incomprehensible unconceivable unexpressible goodness love and bounty the Ocean and Fountain of all bliss blessedness and happiness how can I how shall I worm I nothing I speak of thee and of thy gratious dealings unto my poor Soul O the heighth depth length and breadth of thy Love it is as the Heavens for heighth as Hell for depth as Eternity for length and as from Everlasting to Everlasting for breadth nay all this is far short of it it is much more than all this by much for it is thy self O God thy only self thy very self that thou hast given me thy Kingdom and thy Glory and not only in Heaven hereafter but even now now hast thou done this for my poor unworthy Soul having often fed feasted and solaced my Soul with those ravishing joys that thou hast laid up and prepared for those that unfeignedly love thee thou hast in thy goodness bounty and love often caused me to tast of that hidden Manna that bread of Life and to drink of those Rivers of pleasures that flow from thine own right hand thou hast many times as it were carried my Soul into that mountain of happiness where I have seen thy glorious back parts thy gratious transcendent goodness and have beheld in the Spirit the Celestial Canaan the new Jerusalem the City of God even God in Man communicating himself unto him for Christ the hope of glory is in us dwells in us and makes his abode there which is thy Tabernacle O God thou hast not only given him for us on the Cross but thou continually continuest to give him unto us to crucifie our sins and sinfull lusts and affections in us to put them to death that he himself may live and reign and rule in us that we may
saving Ark of Rest which shall ●or ever cause me to float and swim above all the storms and tempests of sin and Satan ● grant O Lord that having past the tim● my Pilgrimage here in thy fear I may dye in favour unite me O Lord I most humbly seech thee so nigh unto thy self that I may made bone of thy bone and flesh of thy fle● make me a member of thy Mysticall body h● that I may be for ever a member of thy g●rious body hereafter Ah Lord God in Jesus Christ I beseech ● to sanctifie all afflictions and Temptations ● me and lay no more upon me at any time in ●dy or mind then thou shalt in thy goodn● and for thy glory inable me to bear and t● not thy holy and blessed spirit the Sanctifier ● the Comforter from me be thou my help want my strength in weakness my joy sorrow my comfort in grief my riches in verty my palace in Prison my home in ●nishment my health in sickness and my life death let my blessedness in thee O Lord c●me to see my cursedness out of thee let thy ●verflowing fulness cause me to see my emptin● thy beauty my ugly deformity thy light darkness thy glory my ignominy thy riches ● poverty thy obedience my disobedience thy p●fection my imperfection thy holiness my un●liness thy glory my shame thy wisdom my fo● thy strength my weakness thy goodness ● badness thy Heaven of happiness and blessedn● Hell of unhappiness and wretchedness thy things my nothing Ah sweet Jesus that camest down from Hea●n on Earth to lift me up from Earth to Hea●n thou took'st my nature on thee to make me ●taker of thine own holy blessed and divine ●ture thou becamest the Son of Man to make ● the Son of God thou becam'st O Lord my ●ra an Heir of Misery to make me an Heir of ●ercy yea Co-heir with thy self of Heavens ●eat glory and eternal Happiness Felicity and ●lessedness which is thy Father Self and holy ●rit three Persons but one God thou wert sweet Jesus Lamb of God Son of God ●ade a Curse that I might be made a Blessing ●ou wouldst dye once that I might likewise dye ●t once and then live with thee for ever and ●r ever thou didst O King of Glory wear a ●rown of Thorns that I might wear a Crown ● Glory thou wert lifted up on the Cross to ●t me up unto thee thine arms nayl'd abroad ● shew how willing thou wert to embrace me ●y feet nail'd together to shew thy willing●ess never to go from me thy head hang●g down to shew thy willingness to kiss me ●ith the kisses of thy mouth of thy love for ●ver thy heart opened with a Spear even to ●t me in there thus did'st thou shew by the Crown of Thorns on thy head the height of thy love by the nayling of thy feet the lei● of thy love by the spreading abroad of thy a● the breadth of thy love and by the openin● thy side the shedding of thy hearts blood depth of thy love O blessed God O most ●sed love there is no God like unto thee nor there ever love like unto this thy love ● did'st O Christ thou did'st suffer thy Fa●● frowns that I might have his smiles thou di● O Christ thou did'st drink up the dregs of Father's wrath even Vinegar mingled ● Gall that I might sweetly solace my self drinking to thee the bottomless bottom of endless love thou did'st O Christ my Savi● thou did'st bear all my sins that I might ●pear without sin thou didst O Christ my deemer thou did'st shed all thy heart blood wash me from the filthiness of my own bl● and from the guilt of this thy blood-sheddi● thou hadst O Christ thou hadst thy F● much more glorious than the Sun defaced ● spittle that mine might shine even as th● gloriously in glory though not so gloriously gl●ous thou hadst O Christ thou hadst thy b● whipped that by thy stripes I might be heal● thou wert O Christ thou wert thus woun● that by thy deadly wounds I might be ● Cured O love infinite and incomprehensible ●yond degree an offended God dies to set off●ing man free Ah Love that surpasseth all understanding ah ●odness that surpasseth all love that wert in love ●ercy and goodness pleased to do this for me not ●hen I was a friend but an enemy not when I ●as in Covenant with thee but when I was ●t of Covenant not when I loved thee but ●hen I hated thee not when I was lovely but ●veless not when I was holy but unholy not ●hen I desired it but when I desired it not not for ●king it but when I askt it not not for having ●ne any thing for thee but even then when I ●d all that I could against thee not when I ●as thy Servant but a Servant of the Devils ●d all this O God my God that thou did●st ●as not for thy advantage but for mine not ●r thy good but for mine not for thy honour but ●r mine not for thy glory but to bring me to ●ory and all this thou did'st looking for no●ing again thou lovest me only because thou ●ould'st love me Ah height length depth and ●eadth of love that an offended God should ●e and woe and pray and pay and promise ●nd give and dye and live to reconcile in●ch honour magnifie and exalt offending ●an poor despicable man vile wretched ●orthless man nothing man that can be fitly ●mpared to nothing but to nothing less than ●e drop of a bucket or the dust of the bal●ance O Lord let these thy wonders of mercies and wonderfull compassions cause me ever to ad● and adore thy love and kindness thy kind lo● thy goodness and thy greatness and to cry ● Lord what is man that thou art so min● of him and the Son of man that thou so gardest him as to visit him to magnifie h● to dwell in him to delight in him to m● him thy delight to set thy heart upon him to him good even according to all the good t● is in thy heart having prepared for him Kingdom which cannot be shaken a King● of Glory an eternal and incomprehen● weight of glory where is joy all joy unspe●able joy and Rivers of pleasures for ever mo● where is no right but all is day yea the L● himself is the l●ght thereof where is no gr●nor sorrow nor care nor fear but all te● shall be wiped away and there shall be no m● sorrow nor sighing but all joys and sing● of praises and Hillelujahs with the Ang●ls ● Saints beholding the Lord of glory yea ● glory of the Lord seeing him face to face he is and knowing him as he is to be know there is no Canaanite in that Heavenly Countr● no Cain to kill no Sodomite to vex no Ishm●elite to scoff no Esau to terrifie no Shimei curse no Herod to persecute no Rabsheke● to rail no Judas to betray this Heaven is ●bove all Molestations and
as able as willing as great as good and as good as great nothing can hinder thee nothing can deprive thee of being what thou art for before any thing was thou wert all things have their all from thee thou art the Alpha and the Omega the beginning and the end it is the greatest and the chiefest joy of all the Angels and Saints in Heaven and on Earth that thou art what thou art and that they belong unto thee and that thou art pleased to own them for thine own thy glory is their glory thine end their aim thy will their wills their chief desire to be is to please thee O God to please thee and to adore thee without thee we know we can do nothing nor should be nothing thou O Lord God art our all and our all for all our springs are in thee and from thee And now O Lord God I come at this time before thee to speak a word unto thee but I find my self as unable as unfit and as unfit as unable being empty of all good and full fit and ready for any or all evils such O Lord thou knowest is my wretched and miserable nature averse unto all that is good and prone unto all that is evil but thou O my God in Jesus Christ that art all good and able to do all good fill O Lord fill I humbly beseech thee my empty heart with thy self even with thy fulness that I may speak unto thee thine own words and not mine own for mine own words would be but words but meer words but thy words even thine O God are works and work I know effectually thou do'st not hear us for our words sake because they are but the words of men not for our works sake because they are but mens works nor for our own sake because we have forsaken thee but for thy great names sake O Lord which is thy self and therefore for thine own sake thou hearest us Ah Lord God let me then so hear thy voice as my soul may live and so live as to praise thee O Lord is to live yea to live in thee to thee and for thee which to do Ah Lord thou knowest is the desire I have to live Ah great God be thou then graciously pleased in the abundance of thy great goodness to speak a word in season unto this dull dead senceless heart of mine that I may be so ravisht therewith as I may forthwith come out of my self flye from my self hate loath and abhor my self in dust and ashes cause me O Lord to consider my self as indeed I am which is a little creeping clay speaking earth a worm and no man vile sinfull wretched and abominable from the Crown of the head to the sole of the foot there is no whole part in me I am more Leprous then Gehazy much more unclean then was Mary Magdalen more blind in soul then Bartemeus was in body more lame to run after thee O Lord in thy ways then was Mephibosheth in his feet my soul runs with a greater flux of Sin then was the Hemorish Issue and more then thirty eight years O Lord thou knowest all these diseases have been upon me Ah Lord my Lord and my God be thou therefore pleased in love and mercy to look upon me with one of thine eyes and heal me and thou shalt do as great a work as in curing them all I know and am assured that thou hast so great a skill that if thou wilt thou canst with a word forgive the one and heal the other Ah wonder of wonders yea too too wonderfull to believe but by those whom thou dwellest in that thou wilt dwell and delight to dwell in such a heart but all such know O Lord through the power of thy goodness and the working of thy holy spirit in their hearts that nothing is hard for thee O God to do but all things are as easie as possible thou bringest light out of darkness and turnest evil into good with the word of thy mouth for he is only worthy whom thou in favour accountest worthy Seeing then O Lord God that it is thy good will and pleasure to do so much for me as thou canst do which is to give me thine own self be thou Ah be thou pleased in the riches of thy mercy and free grace to accept of my self not as a recompence O Lord for this thy great gift but as an Acknowledgment that I have received so great a gift from thee and that therefore I am no longer nor no more mine own nor any others either in Heaven or on Earth but thine own O Lord and thine all and I most humbly and most unfeignedly beseech thee from the bottom of my heart in Jesus Christ that it may so continue and be unto all Eternity and that I may not henceforth think speak or do any thing by my self from my self alone without thee O Lord but that all my thoughts words and actions may be wholly guided and govern'd by thee to do all things agreeable to thy holy will and according to thine own heart who art the heart of my heart the life of my life and the Soul of my Soul for by thee only and all one I live move and have my being Give me then grace O Lord God that I may so love thee as to adore thee so fear thee as not offend thee so delight in thee as that thou m●yest be my only delight so obey thee as to be obedient unto the death so honour thee as to walk humbly before thee and give up my self unto thee let me so run after thee as to obtain thee and get a blessing from thee which may be a blessing unto me in life in death and after death that by receiving from thee daily grace I may give thee daily glory Ah Lord thou knowest how my heart seeketh to find thee that I may enjoy thee who art and who only art the joy and rejoycing of my heart that I may love thee fear thee adore thee praise thee prize thee and give my self unto thee who hast given thy self for me and to me O Lord thou art all things and givest all things unto all Creatures all things have their all from thee who art all in all in all things thou art O Lord brighter and much more glorious then the Sun for the glorious brightness of the Sun is from the brightenss of thy glory the Heavens have their beauty from thy beautifulness the Earth and the Sea their plenty and fulness from thy plentiful fulness all the Creatures have all their strength from thy strength and man his power might and wisdom to govern them and all things under the Sun from thine Almighty power and wisdom Ah most glorious Lord God who art thus glorious to behold how can I Worm behold thy glory or thee O Lord the Lord of all glory I confess and acknowledge that I am not able of my self to know my self my vileness
Prisoner never any man desired so much to be let out of Prison as I do to be put in never any slave desired so much to be free as I doe to be bound unto thee O God my God unto thee unto thee my God never any man desired so earnestly to pay his debts as I desire to be further and to be more indebted give me O Lord I beseech thee more and more that I may every day yea every moment of the day all the days of my life unto the very last moment of the last day of my life be receiving that when this life is ended I may live an Eternal life to pay thee Eternally praise and thanksgiving Be thou then Ah sweet Jesus be thou always in me that I may always be in thee stand by me continually that I may always stand upright walk uprightly never fall go with me that I may never go from thee abide O Lord abide ever in me that I may ever abide in thee act in me O Lord act ever in me that I may ever act for thee speak O Lord speak continually in me that I may continually speak for thee work for me O Lord work always for me that I may always work for thee live in me O Lord live always in me that I may always live to thee and for thee Ah Lord do all for me do all for me that all that I shall henceforth always do may be all for thee that I may choose not my own will but thy will may be my choice Ah Lord let me know thy blessed voice that I may always answer thee at thy blessed call whether it be by night or by day as Samuel did and say with him and with his heart speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with holy David for my heart is ready and with heavenly Paul what Lord what wilt thou have me to do Write O Lord I humbly beseech thy holy and divine laws of grace in my heart that with my heart I may delight in them and thy Statutes in my mind that all even all my mind may be still on them that they may be a savour of life unto life to my soul and of death unto death to my sins let thy Commandments O Lord be no more grievous unto me but joyous that I may ever find thy yoak easie and thy burthen light Let thy word O God feed me yea let me feast on it as on marrow and fatness let it refresh and comfort my heart as with Wine on the Lees yea as Wine well refined on the Lees let it be sweeter to my tast then honey yea then the Hony-comb Ah Lord let my heart be set on it and much more delighted with it then with gold yea then with much fine gold or precious pearls let it distill into my heart to ravish it Ah Lord let it so ravish me as all my sences may be filled and delighted with its sweetness Let me O Lord hear it attentively understandingly and feelingly as thine own word which thine own mouth hath spoken that my mouth may be filled with thy praises yea that I may trumpet them forth louldly and sweetly let mine eyes always look upon thee O Lord from whence my salvation cometh to behold thy beauty thy glory and thy blessedness as in thy Sanctuary that my feet may run in the ways of thy Commandments and not grow weary and walk and not faint O Lord let me sit under the shadow of thy branches continually for thy fruit is very pleasant unto my tast there is none in Heaven O Lord that my soul desireth as thee nor in all the earth in comparison of thee Ah how doth my soul and my heart long to be where thou art even where thou art O God in Heaven thy dwelling place glading and rejoycing the hearts of all those that behold thee beholding the brightness the sweetness the loveliness and the lovingness of thy most glorious most beautiful and most blessed countenance which to see is life yea much better than life Ah Lord bring me then home unto thee even to my long desired home that I may ever enjoy thee and live in thee my joy in whom my soul only delighteth to live for with thee I know is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at thy right hand O God are pleasures for ever more such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of any man at any time to conceive Ah Lord God I well know and believe rejoycingly that thou knowest all things and therefore knowest well how my heart and my soul panteth for thee longeth for thee coveteth for thee and most ambitiously hungreth and thirsteth after thee Ah Lord when shall that blessed time be and the day come that I shall be altogether emptyed of my own emptyness and filled with thy fulness be stript of my own raggs and cloathed with thy glorious robes be found out of my self in thee be made partaker of thine own Holy and Divine nature which is perfection and glory in glory yea perfect glory then shall I be no more mine own but thine own yea thine all so that all that I shall do shall please thee well and be right well pleassing unto thee for then I shall no longer do the evil which I would not and which I hate but the good which I would and which I love yea the good and all the good that thou O God wilt and which thou lovest it shall not then be present with me only to will but to do also even all thy holy and whole and perfect will I shall then no longer desire to be stript of any thing that is in me because O God my God thou shalt be all in me and only in me then and there I shall no longer mourn for my unholiness nor pray for more blessedness but all tears fears and cares shall be all done away my unworthiness here shall through thy worthiness O sweet Jesus be accounted worthy my unrighteousness righteous my disobedience obedience and my imperfection perfect full and entire perfection through that ever blessed most blessed and only and all blessed perfection that in the thee who art God blessed for ever and ever Ah who would not then for a while feed on crums that he may eat of this bread and at last sup at this feast Ah who would not who would not be content to hunger a while to be brought to this banquet of heavenly dainties who would not Ah who would not be content for a little space to sit grovelling on the ground and be covered with dust and ashes that he may at last sit at this Table who would not Ah who would not stay a while without with patience being assured at last yea and ere long to be brought in into the brides Chamber Ah who would not who would not be poor for a while to be made thus rich for ever Ah who would
earthly Heaven may be a Heaven in part though not a perfect Heaven and that I may from day to day grow and increase from one degree of grace unto another until I come to enjoy that measure and fulness that thou hast O Lord my God in the infiniteness and eternity of thy love goodness and mercy through thy free grace in Jesus Christ reserved provided and appointed for me out of thine own abundant and overflowing fulness for with thee is fulness of joy and at thy right hand are pleasures for evermore Ah Lord for thy Mercies sake bring me unto that fulness that I may for ever rejoyce in that joy which bringeth such peace as passeth all understanding which eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it ever entred into the heart of man to conceive Ah Lord bring me into that Heaven and in the mean time let Heaven be in me for holiness is Heaven and Heaven is holiness therefore the more holiness is in us the more Heaven is in us yea the happiness in Heaven which is God himself Father Son and Holy Ghost three persons but one God Grant O Lord I most humbly beseech thee that I may do the work of my generation and lawfull calling prudently wisely justly and uprightly faithfully obedientl● circumspectly cheerfully willingly and perseveringly both before thee O God and before all men giving every man his due and doing unto all men as I would they should do unto me without respect of persons and let me always value and esteem these things below as low things as temporal inferior good things as common mercies of the left-hand of the foot-stool the nether Springs even such O Lord as thou givest unto all even unto the evil and wicked as well as unto the good and righteous as thou makest the Sun to shine and the rain to fall alike on all it being no Token either of thy Hatred or of thy Love Let me therefore O Lord have power through grace to use them as if I used them not and to live in this World as if I were not of this World making no provision for the flesh to satisfie the lusts thereof but that I may overcome the World by despising of it And give me not the things of the World O Lord I beseech thee till thou hast given me a heart to use them according to thine own heart even as liketh thee best and grant O Lord that I may be always as willing to leave them as to receive them and to give them back unto thee when thou pleasest and in thine own way as thine O Lord and not as mine blessing thee for the leaving them with me any time but most especially for the well using of them during that time considering that their well using will turn to my Eternal profit and their abusing of them to my Eternal loss Ah Lord let the eyes of my understanding be enlightned and always open to see the many perils and dangers in possessing them as well as their nothingness whilst I shall possess them and that worldly bliss consists more in possessing of little void of fears than of much subject unto danger and that it 's much the sweeter condition to want the Worlds sweetness than to have them if in their want we find no want and to esteem always that best which God giveth because he having promised will make it work for the best Come on me then what will come I doubt not Lord but I shall find it as I have hitherto found it to be for my good and coming from a God of Love to me in love and therefore O Lord I will love both thee and it and esteem every change the best change yea and a changing for the best and if at any time my condition should not please the flesh sure I am it will always please the Spirit if it please not at any time the outward it will always please the inward man if it please not the old man without it will please the new man within for Lord thou knowest if my condition should at any time displease me and I could change it yet I would not if by so doing I should displease thee for thou knowest I desire to please thee not my self the Spirit not the flesh the inward not the outward Man the New not the Old Man for I would not have what I would but O Lord that only that thou wilt be it what ever it will deny me not O Lord I most humbly most earnestly and most unfeignedly beg and beseech th●e in Jesus Christ for thine own dear and holy names sake deny me not this one thing whatever it cost me but let my life and my death my place of abode and condition be such as may O Lord bring thee most glory as may glorifie thee most O God of all Power and Glory And that seeing I served thee not O God my Creator in the days of my youth grant I beseech thee that I may serve thee freely cheerfully willingly and joyfully all the rest of my days unto the very last hour of my life that I may henceforth live the life of the righteous and that my last end may be like his Ah Lord let all the rest of my life to come be so spent as it may witness a continual sorrow for my life past that having lived here in thy fear I may dye O Lord my God in thy favour that having lived here the life of Grace I may ever hereafter live with thee O my sweet Jesus the life of Glory in thy Kingdom of Glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit O Lord that tryest the heart and searchest the Reins thou knowest all my thoughts as well as ponderest all my actions and therefore thou knowest how much my heart rejoyceth because that thou thus knowest it and because thou hast made it such as it is not that it is O Lord as it would or should be but because it willingly would be what it should be and that it would do and be as wilingly any thing that it wills as it wills it So it be O Lord God according to thy most holy righteous good blessed will And now O Lord God Almighty Maker Giver and Preserver of all things I most humbly beseech thee to hear me in Jesus Christ for all Kingdoms Nations and People in general and in particular over the face of the whole earth gather O Lord in much mercy gather thine Elect together from all the ●nds and corners of the World Jew and Gentile Turk and Infidel bond and free male and female young and old rich and poor Ah Lord be thou pleased in the greatness of thy compassions to pour out thy Holy Spirit upon all flesh and to write thy holy Laws of Grace in their hearts and thy Statutes of fear in their minds by the finger of thine Holy Spirit that every one may know who is the Lord and the power of his might that
all flesh may be converted and brought home unto thee that their souls may live and not dye eternally Remember O Lord God thine antient Covenant with Abraham thy Friend and pity our elder sister the Jews suffer them not Ah Lord suffer them not longer to wander as Sheep without a Shepherd but bring them home Ah Lord bring them home to thy fold and to thy flock and be thou the Shepherd and life of their Souls Open O Lord the eyes of their understanding that they may know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent that they may behold him whom they have crucified by their sins and may mourn as one mourneth for his only son and be in bitterness as for a first-born have they stumbled that they should fall God forbid but rather through their fall Salvation is come unto the Gentiles for to provoke them unto jealousie Now if the fall of them be the riches of the World and their diminishing the riches of the Gentiles how much more O Lord their fulness and if the casting away of them be the reconciling of the World what shall the receiving of them be but life from the dead for if the first fruit be holy the lump is also holy and if the root be holy so are the branches because of unbelief they were broken off and if they abide not still in unbelief hast thou not promised O God to graft them in again and seeing thou wert O Lord pleased to grast us into the good Olive-tree that were wild by nature Ah when Ah Lord when wilt thou graft in again these into their own Olive-tree which be the natural branches for blindness is happened to Israel until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in and so all Israel shall be saved as concerning the Gospel they are Enemies for our sakes but as touching the Election they are beloved for the Fathers sake for the gifts and calling of God are without repentance Bring in then O Lord bring in then the fulness of us the Gentiles that the number of thine Elect may be accomplished and that Man of Sin destroyed with an utter total and eternal destruction Break O Lord the Power of the Turk and all thy Churches adversaries destroy the pride of Rome and root out Antichrist O Lord I beseech thee out of all our hearts and permit not that any of thy children be led away by Errors Heresies Sects or any false worship but let thy Word O Lord and Gospel be preached and taught throughout the whole Earth in purity and sincerity as thy Word and with the powerfull assistance of thine own Holy Spirit Ah Lord cause it to work efficaciously on the hearts of all hearers that they may hear it with fear and trembling even as thine own Word and by it be convinc'd of sin of righteousness and of Judgment and to this end O Lord God be thou pleased to give a double portion of thy Holy Spirit unto all the Ministers thereof that they may preach it in the power of the Holy Ghost not fearing the face of Men being confidently assured that their work and labour shall not be in vain in the Lord. Ah Lord in much mercy propagate thy Gospel where it is planted and be thou pleased to plant it where it is not and send forth faithfull Labourers into thy Vineyard and Harvest for thou knowest O Lord God that the Harvest is great but the Labourers are few Ah Lord suffer not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ that the wild Boar of the Wood pluck up the Roots nor the little Foxes to cut off the branches but blast O Lord all the designs and machinations that are any where hatching against thy Church and People and bring them to nought and cause their Enemies which are thy Enemies to fall into the Pits and Snares which they have laid for them do good O Lord to thy Sion and build up the Walls of thy Jerusalem do thine own work in thine own good due and appointed time and let thine own arm O Lord bring us Salvation In a more particular and most special manner O Lord I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ be mindfull and have mercy upon the Land of my Nativity Pardon O Lord the Nation and particular sins thereof past present and to come of Magistrates Ministers and People our sins O Lord of blood our sins of unthankfulness ingratitude and rebellion against thee our God our sins of covetousness which is Idolatry our sins of Pride and Hypocrisie of self-love and hatred of our brethren our sins of gluttony and drunkenness of uncleanness of malice wrath and revenge our sins of prophanation and persecution our sins of blasphemy and toleration against thy self O God and Christ against thy holy Law and Gospel O God that art the Judge of Heaven and of Earth pardon O Lord pardon I humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ England's sins for they are great and enter into a Covenant with them and be thou their God and make them thy people that they may serve thee for ever and for ever and thou mayest henceforth delight in them to live amongst them and never more to be wroth with them Settle O Lord I beseech thee a faithfull Magistracy over us Judges as at the first and Counsellours as in the beginning that Justice may run down our streets as a mighty River and righteousness as a great stream that the cause of the Poor the Widow and the Orphan may be heard and Justice done without respect of Persons that there be no crys in our Land nor no complaining in our streets Give O Lord boldness zeal courage and faithfulness unto all the Ministers thereof that they may not seek the praise of Men but the praise honour and glory of thee our God and that they may be ready and willing to lay down their lives for the truth and be faithfull unto the death choosing rather much rather affliction and persecution for thy sake and the Gospels than to dwell in the Tabernacles of the wicked and to serve the lusts of Men. And to this end O Lord God give them I humbly pray thee a double Portion of thy holy Spirit which thou gavest unto thy faithful Servant Elias to lead guide govern and direct them in the ways of all truth and righteousness that they may not at all fear him which can only kill the body but him which is thy self O Lord who having killed the body canst cast the Soul into Hell O Lord open their eyes that they may see thee and thy strength and power on their side and therefore may not fear the power nor the policy of their Enemies how great soever it be to the eyes of Men for they are but men meer Men whose breath is in their Nostrils a little creeping clay speaking earth Worms of six foot long whose hearts thou turnest as the rivers of Waters and changest them as thou pleasest and that nothing is or
Lord to know that thou art a God pardoning all Iniquities Transgressions and sins yea all Blasphemies wherewith they have blasphemed Ah Lord shew them the light of thy gracious and glorious Countenance and lead them in the way everlasting that they may never more swerve nor go astray from thy Divine and Holy Commandments Bless O Lord all that are travelling by Sea or by Land and bring them to their Ports and Places in safety defend them from all Pirats and Robbers that seek to do them hurt or wrong and from all other perils and dangers pitch thy tents O Lord round about them and keep them even as thou keepest thine own And lastly O Lord I most humbly and heartily beg and beseech thee in Jesus Christ to pardon and forgive all mine Enemies all the world over love them O Lord that hate me bless them that curse me do good to them that seek to do me evil forget and forgive all that they have done or would have done against me and change their hearts from evil unto good that they may no longer walk after the deceitfulness of their own evil Hearts but may do all things for the time to come in truth and sincerity according to thine own heart O Lord God that thou mayest own them for thy own and give them hearts O Lord to forgive me whom I have wronged whether it have been in thought word or deed either unto high or low rich or poor young or old and grant O Lord that I may fear and do so no more but as thou hast been unto me a sin-pardoning God so I beseech thee be unto me a sin-preventing God that I may not as the Dog return to his Vomit nor as the Sow to her wallowing in the mire again but that I may always henceforth set thee O Lord before mine eyes and be attent unto the motions of thy holy spirit and never to forget thy exceeding bountifull and mercifull dealings towards me and that love in Jesus Christ wherewith thou hast loved me and that I may remember that it is impossible for those who were once enlightned and have tasted of the Heavenly gift and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost and have tasted the good word of God and the Powers of the World to come if they shall fall away to renew them again unto Repentance seeing they Crucifie to themselves the Son of God afresh and put him to open shame for if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin but a certain fearfull looking for of Judgment and fiery indignation which shall devour the adversaries for having Lord by thy grace and mercy escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ grant that I may not again be intangled therein and overcome and so my latter end prove worse if worse it can be than was my beginning Ah Lord God should such be my case which God forbid it would be much better for me that I had never known the way of Righteousness than after the knowledge of it to turn from thy holy Commandments delivered unto me Ah Lord God my Lord and my God in Jesus Christ thou knowest my weakness frailty and impotency that I cannot of my self as of my self think a good thought that I am prone to all evil and averse to all good to will indeed is many times present but how to perform I know not there is still O Lord God a law in my members warring against the law of my mind and leading me Captive into the law of sin Ah Lord when when O Lord when shall that time come and that blessed most blessed and glorious day dawn and appear in my heart that the root and branch of sin be totally rooted up and utterly destroyed and grace confirmed and grow up more and more until I come to be a perfect man in Christ Jesus that I may still more and more hate the evil which I do and love the good which I do not and cannot do that it may be no longer I that sin but sin that dwelleth in me and that by the assistance of thy grace and holy Spirit I may walk well pleasing before thee doing thy work and thy will here on earth as it is done in Heaven living the life of grace here and of glory hereafter the life of the Righteous that I may dye their death Ah Lord give thy self to me that I may give my self to thee live in me that I may live to thee owne me for thine own that I may owne thee for mine all give me Ah give me O Lord much grace that I may give thee much glory daily grace that I may give thee daily glory continually grace that I may give thee continually glory that I may be all thine O Lord only thine always thine and ever thine and all this I most humbly and unfeignedly beg of thee and whatever else thou knowest to be needfull or expedient for me both for my soul and body for the name and for the worthiness of Jesus Christ thy Son and my Saviour to whom with thy Glorious Majesty and Holy Spirit of Grace do I render and give with my whole heart as all due is and unto none else Honour Glory Power Might Majesty Dominion and Thanksgiving now henceforth and for evermore Amen Amen 34. If the love of Creatures be so lovely unto us and we esteem and love them most for their love and this their love doth many times sweetly satisfie and ravish our senses But how then are our hearts set on fire with Love when we have within us the fiery hot burning Love of a Loving God yea of a God of Love whose Love is so lovely as it knits our hearts in Love unto him and our greatest Love unto him is from his own Love because he hath so loved us as to give us hearts to love him even according to his own heart 35. If our Joy be according to the measure of Love which we enjoy from the Creature whom we most love Ah how great yea incomprehensibly great shall our joy be when we shall know and feel that we are beloved above measure by the Creator who maketh the Creature thus lovely and giveth him Love thus to love him 36. If our Love many times be so great unto the Creature for the Creature that we do not and it seems to us that we cannot love him so much as we would and do desire to do and we crave and desire chiefly his Love that we may yet love him more and this from and because we love him so much and for that our senses can be only satisfied with his Love and by loving of him for we love him most for his Love and his Love doth cause us to love him more whom we love so much yea whom we love most 37. But Ah how great then yea how wonderfully great is the
more and more what is the length the breadth the height of the depth of his love to his Children and Servants and to be such as eye hath not seen ear hath not heard neither hath it entred into the heart of any man to conceive rightly the things that God hath prepared for those that love him 197. The Spirit causeth them where it dwelleth to feel what they cannot comprehend nor express and it so filleth their hearts with such joy in believing that there is no joy like unto it this is that true bread of life that feedeth them unto eternal life this is that true water of life that causeth us never more to thirst with fear or doubtings this is that Rock flowing with hony that reviveth the fainting Spirits of every true Jonathan that tasts it with the mouth of Faith yea this is that Heavenly Mannah and bread of Angels and Saints on which they feed and are satisfied in Heaven these are the Royal Robes which Jesus Christ our Bridegroom arrayeth us with even his own Righteousness and true holiness this filleth our lamps with that burning oyl of assurance that we shall be admitted unto that marriage Feast and Supper of the Lamb this gives them all to know that their names are written in the Book of life and that their lives are hid with Christ in God So that when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming they shall also appear with him in glory this causeth them to hear his most sweet and blessed voice Come ye blessed of my Father inherit the Kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the World was laid this assureth them that God is and will be their Portion for ever this causeth them to know that they shall all sit down with Abraham Isaac and Jacob and that God will not be ashamed to be called their God and to own them for his own even for his Sons and Daughters in Jesus Christ this is that new name which they all know that have it and this is that which fills them with true love to adore all his Attributes of Justice as well as of mercy and for that there is a Hell for the wicked as a Heaven for the righteous for their greatest joy and glory is for that he is what he is and for that he doth what he doth for all things that please him please them his honour is their honour and his glory their glory and therefore they delight to bless and praise and laud and extol and magnifie his holy name and this causeth them so earnestly to beseech and beg and pray Souls to come to Christ and to wash and bath themselves in this fountain of his blood which is always open for sin and for uncleanness this maketh them to prize it above all works knowing that it is the work of the Lord and that in it he is well pleased and that many are losers in the loss of a Soul and that great is the joy in Heaven at the conversion of a sinner this makes them to feel what they speak and to speak what they feel this makes them so willing to spend and to be spent and to follow the Lamb of righteousness wheresoever he goeth and to go and do and suffer quietly willingly joyfully chearfully and patiently all that is commanded them always saying O Lord send me and as Samuel speak Lord for thy Servant heareth and with David My heart is ready and with Paul Lord what wilt thou have me to do take all my worldly and fleshly honours pleasures and delights make me if thou wilt as poor and as contemptible as thou thy self wast when thou wert here on earth I am content what thou wilt and only what thou wilt and all that thou wilt O Lord is the desires covetings longings and ambition of my heart and Soul for I have nor would have no other will than thy will and to do thy holy whole and blessed will here on earth as it is done in Heaven for this O Lord thou knowest is the Heaven that my Soul desireth to have on earth I shall rejoyce to be banisht to be trampled on to be a gazing and a mocking stock to be derided and scoffed at any thing Lord let me be and suffer in spirit soul and body so I may but bring home poor Souls that they may not go unto that place of torment but be received by thee into thy mansion of glory to sing for ever Halleluiahs of praise honour and glory unto thy most holy and most glorious name with all that numberless number of Angels and Saints and with the Spirits of just men made perfect Ah who would not lose a member of his own body yea though it were all his members as the blessed Martyrs did to make up a member of Christs body for who would not have his Kingdom increase and Satans decrease who would not fight for Christ against all his Enemies and adversaries knowing that they are already conquered and made his foot-stool who would not labour to undeceive poor silly Souls that go on so fast and run so swift in the ways of Eternal destruction and whose feet make hast to death and who drink up iniquity as it were water and rush into all evil as the horse rusheth into the battle and that rise early and go to bed late that they may yet sin the more and notwithstanding they commit not half the evil that they would they are thus ensnared to their own hurt Ah who would not labour to free such poor creatures as are slaves and drudges and serve such a Master as gives such wages as is Hell death and destruction eternally both for body and soul Ah who is not an Orator fit enough to set forth the ugliness and filthiness of sin which thus defileth the heart in which God so much delighteth and desireth to dwell and which depraves them of his most blessed and most glorious Image and makes them the Image of the Devil instead of being a member of Christ it makes them a member of Satan instead of being a Child of God and an Heir of Heaven yea Co-heir with Jesus Christ it makes them a Child of Wrath an Heir of Hell and Co-heir with the Devil and his Angels of Gods eternal and unplacable wrath and vengeance which shall ever burn them but never consume them for God himself will laugh at their great calamity and mock when their fear cometh Ah who would not rejoyce to do such a work as to hinder poor Souls from having such a portion as this and bring them home to Jesus Christ who is the great Doctor who will give them this his Holy Spirit to teach them lead them direct them and instruct them in those things which belong to their eternal peace and Salvation which is in all truth and holiness 198. Thus are all those in whom this Spirit of God dwelleth made partakers of his own holy and divine nature to love the
love is thy self for thou art not only a loving God but a God of love and therefore thy love is as thy self had never beginning nor shall never have end 270. Ah blessed love that is thus durable and unchangable and happy yea thrice happy he that is thus beloved being sure to be beloved ever thus 271. If a man or woman in the flesh hath unspeakable joy pleasure and delight to be divorc'd from one which they hate beyond and more than any thing and are instead thereof marryed unto one which they dearly love yea which they love more dearly than any thing in the flesh 272. Ah what joyes Ah what delights and ravishing pleasures shall they have and have all they that shall be and are divorc'd from their old Husbands sin whom they hate as the Devil and fear and fly from as from Hell and are marryed unto their new new beloved Husband Christ Jesus whom they love above and more than all things as their lives as their souls yea as their Heaven for he is the life of their life the soul of their soul and the Heaven of their Heaven being their soul and bodies Eternal Everlasting rest peace portion happiness felicity and blessedness in Heaven for 273. There are no joys like to spiritual joys nor sorrow like to the spiritual mans sorrow when he mourns under that intolerable burthen of sin for a wounded Conscience who can bear 274. The unregenerate man cannot love sin and hate grace as the regenerate man loves grace and hates sin for he hath the love of God in him his Image of holiness and righteousness is renewed in him day by day he loves all his gifts and graces with his own love perfectly and so he hates all and every sin in thought word and deed which is in sincerity 275. The fleshly Voluptuous man cannot love the pleasures of the flesh as the spiritual man prizeth and loves and delights and rejoyceth in the pleasures of the spirit 276. The Wicked cannot hate the Righteous and the just so much as the just and the Righteous love the wicked though they detest abhor and hate all their sins for they know that a Saul to day may be a Paul to morrow c. They cannot see the inside of any nor know their hearts therefore they judge none but themselves knowing with what measure they mete it shall be measured to them again they also call to mind and remember what they were themselves in time past how they lived after the flesh and minded the things of the flesh c. And that where sin hath abounded gra●● shall much more abound that 't is by free grace that we are saved Eternal life is the gift of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and we are all unprofitable servants when we have done all 277. Sin then is opposite capital and grand Enemy to holiness as hatred is to love as darkness is to light as Hell is to Heaven as the Devil is to God 278. See then and consider how they are opposite and take notice of their contrary workings and in the end how and by what means it is that the good destroys the evil and is the Conquerour and the greatest 279. Sin is Eternal darkness and death Holiness is Eternal light and life sin shuts Heavens Gates and sets wide open Hells Holiness shuts the Gates of Hell a●d sets wide open those of Heaven sin wounds holiness heals sin casts down to Hell holiness raiseth up to Heaven sin kills holiness causeth to live the sinner hates God and all good and most of all God because he is good and because he is God yea because he is such a holy God as he is and he would that he were not that sin might be and might be free but the Saint or Regenerate loves all good and hates all evil and loves most of all God because he is God a holy and a just God all good yea because he is such a God as he is and as well for that he punisheth sin with Eternal death as because he rewardeth holiness with Eternal life after he hath given it with his free grace of his free will sin shall be ever in Hell as well as holiness for ever in Heaven the sinner in Hell shall be despighted because he lives to sin and cannot dye nor fly from sin and because that God lives and thus punisheth him with life and will not suffer death to have power over him he sees death to fly from him yea so far as it will never be nearer him than it is so that he shall ever live thus the Saints rejoyce to live because they live in God and for God a Saint loves God because he hath thus rewarded him by making him to live such a life as this that is to his praise and because God was ever thus and shall be thus ever he knoweth he shall be ever so also death is fled from him and shall be never nearer him than it is he knoweth he shall ever live thus that is be thus ever with God in God and see him and know him as he is to be known and seen which is to possess him for ever and for ever 280. Thus then holiness and sin are Opposites and Enemies but holiness destroys sin as light doth darkness this eternal darkness of sin must vanish when this eternal everlasting light of holiness doth appear thus is it conquered and overcome because holiness is from God and sin from the Devil holiness from the Creator sin from the Creature holiness had never beginning nor shall never have end sin had a beginning and therefore not from the beginning the Devil then brought sin into the World but God who is holiness was so before time before that ever the World or the Devil was sin then is the lesser being from the Creature the worser being from the Devil holiness the greater being from the Creator the better being and proceeding from him that is all good and giveth all good to all to make them good all yea all good as himself for all the good that is in all the Creatures in Heaven and o● earth is from his good he filleth them all but emptyeth not himself at all he is still the same still full yea so full still as he overfloweth still into them from his own fullness and they though filled full yet do they still receive from his fulness without having in them any emptiness being always full from the very beginning that they are with him and yet are they continually receiving as if they were as well emptyed as filled thus doth our good gracious loving and merciful God satisfie us and resatiate us every moment giving us what we ask not what we want not what we know not and though he doth thus increase his blessings by blessing us yet doth he not suffer them to decrease in us when given us but we retain all hold fast all keep all rejoyce in all and give
with this Spirit for the peace tranquillity serenity and comfort of thy Spirit for the life and living of thy Spirit to please delight fill full satisfie and resatiate the appetite of the Soul even as the body hungreth and desireth rejoyceth and delighteth in food to please its fleshly appetite what if we could or did O Lord eat thy very body and blood that would not fill or feed our Souls which are not fed with meat and drink corporally but spiritually and what matters it O Lord as for me I care not what I eat or drink as to the outward man so I may eat and drink by faith in the Spirit and my inward man may be filled with the Spirit whether the body live or dye as for the bodies sake I care not though the body be hunger starved it shall for sure I am it will be well content if the Spirit be thus fed and filled with the presence breathings and Communion of thy Spirit 't is not Ah Lord 't is not thou well knowest the Quails and Mannah from Heaven nor thy body and blood corporally but spiritually that my Soul longeth for and my heart desireth and panteth after so that it even fainteth for lack of it Ah give me that or else I dye I dye indeed corporally spiritually and eternally from which deaths O Lord by thine own death I trust I hope I believe and am confidently assured that thou hast delivered me and wilt deliver me by giving me this Heavenly food of thy holy Spirit to live in thee for thee and to thee here by grace and hereafter in glory this is my belief O Lord increase my Faith strengthen it and comfort it more and more by thine own Spirits living raigning and ruling in my heart by causing it willingly cheerfully and perseveringly to walk in thy ways doing thy will with sincerity integrity and uprightness in thought word and deed both towards thee and towards all men for ever and for ever 56. He that maketh wagers usually coveteth if not always therefore surely it's best to forbear 57. Ah Lord keep me from coveting any other thing than thy self and thy holy and blessed Spirit to teach me lead me direct me guide and govern me my heart and affections to walk in all thy holy ways and to keep all thy Commandments all my days 58. For worldly covetings after the things of this World keep our thoughts hearts memories and affections from seeking with coveting desires the things of Heaven or Heavenly things 59. Let me covet thee O Lord ever ever But all things or any thing out of thee never 60. Let my love be to love thee my delight to delight thee my care O Lord let it be to please thee my groanings to go after thee in thy ways and let all my joys be to rejoyce in thee and thy praise and to praise thee O Lord my Lord always 61. Ah suffer me not in other to spend my days But thus uprightly to walk in all thy ways 62. Covetings for the World makes the affections of the heart to affect the World but covetings for and after Heaven makes the heart and all the affections thereof to affect Heaven and the things in Heaven with a heavenly heart 63. Covetings for the World makes the heart earthly but covetings for Heaven makes the heart heavenly 64. Covetings after God makes the heart God-like according to his heart covetings after any thing out of God or besides God makes the heart ungodly that is ungodlike and contrary to his heart 65. Covetings after the flesh makes the heart fleshly or a heart in the flesh Covetings after the Spirit makes the heart spiritual yea a heart living in God's Spirit 66. I suppose that if a man love at times unlawfully lusting after strange flesh only with the flesh that is desires and would their Loves with the flesh but not with the will and mind which is the heart though the flesh saith yea and yields if the Spirit saith nay and yields not and doth much more ardently and vehemently desire and would not their Loves then the flesh doth and would their Loves and the Spirit that is their inward man would much rather have the hatred than their loves and hath sincere hatred and dislike to this Love by the flesh faithfully truly ardently and continually it is not he that sins but Sin that dwelleth in him for though with his flesh he serve the Law of sin please the flesh yet he hates detests and abhors the evil which he doth and with his mind he serves the Law of God God's Law is written in his heart and remains engraven still in the inner man on all his affections 67. As to me I willingly most willingly would if it might be love none but my God alone 68. True Lord true it is the outward man that is the flesh desireth and delighteth in the things of the flesh because it is fleshly as the inner man the heart of the Soul and the Soul of the heart and all the faculties thereof delighteth and rejoyceth in the things of the Spirit because it is spiritual 69. I have no Heaven here Lord because my Heaven is in thee and yet I have a Heaven Lord here because thou that art Heaven art here and in me 70. Above all keepings keep O Lord O Lord keep my heart my poor heart from sin from choosing delighting approving countenancing or maintaining Sin 71. But this is not all no Lord no thou knowest it 's to be thy servant to work thy work to do thy will not for my self as for thy self not for my praise applause or honour but for thine for I could not be satisfied though I had all I would have unless I do all that for which thou hast created me and appointed me to do 72. 'T is not Ah 't is not the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World the honurs riches and pleasures thereof 't is not the hony of Earth but Heavens hony that my Soul desireth to tast and ever to feed upon 73. If I had and were ever sure to have all the satisfaction that ever Creature had and I had thee not O my God for my Portion as I firmly believe I have I should and would account my self of all men on Earth the most miserable 74. I would not give the part and Portion that I have at present in my God for all this Worlds good for all its honours riches and pleasures 75. Ah Lord how much nothing doth all things seem to be when compared to thee 76. Faith hope and love in thee and for thee O Lord is more worth than all things else that can be given that is not of thee 77. Who is able or can express the satisfactions of that Soul unto whom thou hast given Love cordial faithful sincere and persevering Love to love thee 78. Ah how sweet a thing is it to serve the Lord Ah how pleasant and delightsome to walk always in all his ways
therefore no Joys but even false Joys and foolish yea very foolish toyes 114. O my soul my soul awake awake and see them their deformity their ugliness their dung and dunghil likeness to those savory sweet pleasant and delightsome pleasures that thou givest out of the Garden the Orchard and the Fountain of pleasures that are in thy Palaces 115. Ah how doth that heart leap and rejoyce when it enjoys thee O God wholly when it enjoys thee only how willing ah how willing is it to be divorced separated and banished from all things whatever that are out of thee and besides thee 116. And how unwilling is it ah how unwilling that the World and the things of the World should have again re-entrance there where thou Lord hast been for it cooleth that warmth it freezeth that beat it quencheth that fire it puts out those flames that did so warm heat burn and flame in the heart that is now as the fire under ashes and as the flame in the smoak it is not discernable 117. How ah how is the heart by the World and the things of the World carted as it were away and drawn by great force from thee O God and thy good From feasting at thy Table of dainties to take and taste and feed on those dirtie hoggish brutish earthly husks or earths husks which cannot solace nor satisfie it for a moment with any true delight of taste or enjoyment 118. How lazie sluggish cold faint feeble and weary is the heart when it is taken off from enjoying thee O God who art its all even all its Joy 119. When it must ah when it must again leave Heaven as it were and the delicacies thereof of liberty freedom peace rest joy riches honours and pleasures and come down from thence and dig and delve hew wood and draw water be a slave as it were to its worst and most cruell Enemy at least not to be altogether free and therefore unquiet restless sad poor contemptible and full of grief 120. How doth ah how doth that heart that truly enjoys thee O God with Jacob say truly feelingly knowingly and certainly that it hath all even all honours riches and pleasures that are to be had on earth or in Heaven 121. How ah how do such spurn away kick at and fly from all other things as if they had poyson in the head and a sting in the tayl even as from monsters that have no mercy 122. Such ah such a heart cannot no no it cannot satisfie it self with these satisfying satisfactions unless he be ah unless he be always as it were drowned in them and swallowed up into them and because he cannot contain them therefore ah therefore he desires to be contained by them 123. How willingly ah how willingly would such a one be poor in the world to have and possess these Ah these true indeed true riches and to live ever in disgrace to be thus graced and to be made lower than the lowest of men To be thus high and lifted up above all these high low things here below how willingly ah how willingly would he still live in contempt and be flouted derided scorned and sco●t at among and by men to be thus honoured by God and honourable among the blessed How willingly ah how willingly would he be ever banished from earths home to be thus brought home to enjoy what is at home in Heaven and to feed on the unpleasant sowre bitters of losses crosses and afflictions to drink only of these sweet pleasant streams and rivers of pleasures that flow continually and abundantly from Gods right hand 124. This Ah this is to be brought out of Egypt and over the red Sea and from his weary and long journeying in the wilderness to inherit a quiet and peaceable possession in that true Heavenly Celestial Canaan flowing always with Milk and Honey for here even here in the flesh on earth he enjoys such and so many joyes as far exceed all that ever he did or could ask that ever he did or could think 125. Ah Lord rich in mercy love bounty and great in goodness above Ah much much above all that can be conceived or spoken by Men or Angels set before me Ah set before me always on the one hand my unkindness my sins my blackness soulness uncleanness ugliness and deformity as I am in my self from my self that I may loath detest and abhor them and my self for them and because of them that I may be driven drawn and whipt away from them to thee to hate them to love thee to detest them to adore thee and on the other hand O God my God I may always openly and plainly see thy love and kindness yea loving kindness mercy goodness gentleness patience and forbearance that thereby and therewith I may be enticed allured tyed knit glued fastned swallowed up and involv'd in thee O God my God so as I may never more be divorc'd parted or separated from thee nor thy ways but may long for to enjoy thy most sweet and only sweet and soul satisfying presence and Communion all my days for without thee and out of thee all things are even nothing but with thee enjoying thee we have all things and want nothing and do care for nothing else nor ask nor desire nothing Ah nothing else nay cannot think of any thing else 126. Bless Ah bless me then O Lord my Lord and my God who art the God and Father of Abraham of Isaac of Jacob and of all the blessed who blessest all that are blessed bless O Lord bless I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ all my weak frail and unworthy prayers praises desires and actions make them a blessing so unto me as that thou mayest delight to bless me more and more not for the satisfying of the flesh but of the spirit not of the body only but of the soul also not only the outward but the inward Ah the inward the inward man let me be so blessed in soul and body as that both soul and body may ever bless and praise thee in life in death and after death Amen Amen 127. Ah Lord let me always live in thee move by thee and have all my being from thee that is be all always in all places and things for thee 128. Let Ah let the world and the things of the world seem to be as they are Vanity and Vexation of spirit unto me 129. Let me delight in thee O God only in thee alone 130. Let me always so live as I may always be ready to dye that whensoever I dye I may be sure always to live that is to live Eternally 131. In Heaven O Lord where thou dost raign Where is no grief no loss but gain 132. When that the heart is as it were in God or God in the heart so that the mind doth only mind him Ah how unwilling is it to mind the world or any thing in the world of the world and how willing Ah
hath done it with the word of his power with his own voice who is that blessed Arch-Angel of the Covenant of peace and reconciliation 59. When I shall find that sin is thus rooted up in me by the roots then will I say that the Lords hand hath done it for I know that none but the Lord himself can do such wonders and work wonderfully thus 60. When I shall find that sin is destroyed in me then will I say that the Lord hath visited me graciously that he hath spoken peace to my poor soul and revived it and refreshed it then may I say he hath been with me of a truth and not regarded the low estate of his poor Servant 61. When I shall find sin dead then will I say as the Lord liveth and because he was put to death and now liveth I shall live also 62. Sin being thus banisht and cast out then shall I see my self free and taken O Lord into Covenant with thee then will I say I am no longer under the Law but under Grace which gracious favour O Lord do me that I may henceforth and for ever live unto and for thine Eternal honour and glory 63. Ah Lord God that wert fastned to the Cross for my sins and to save my poor Soul fasten my sins there and let them never get loose again and Ah Lord let my Soul live ever in thee and possess thee ever 64. Ah Lord that raignest over all Principalities and Powers raign I most humbly beseech thee over all these Princes and Powers that have Dominion over me that I may be brought into subjection unto thy most holy Laws and live obediently keeping all thy Divine Commandments That thou O Lord God who art God over all blessed for ever and for ever mayest be my God ever over all and bless me also for ever and for ever that I may ever live in thee and thou in me Amen Amen 65. If we be so willing to unstrip our selves of our cloathing at night and lye down on our beds naked to uncloath our selves of all our glory and honour pomp and beauty and to unmind that we are what we are to the end we may enjoy a few hours quiet and rest Ah how willing shall we be to unstrip our selves of all that we possess and of our lives too when that last long night of death shall come and appear to fetch us up from hence that we may be ever with the Lord who is our Eternal and everlasting Portion our infinite and incomprehensible good and blessed rest and peace which shall be as it were ever beginning and never end nor cease 66. Ah our God that art what thou art and yet wilt be pleased to be ours and to own us for thine own 67. Ah Lord God though others satisfie themselves to hear of thee let me not be satisfied till mine eye see thee 68. Though others O Lord be well contented to know thee as men teach Let me I beseech thee be satisfied only with thine own teachings to know thee as thou art to be known that is to see and find and feel thee in me dwelling raigning and ruling there being all in all and bringing into subjection all powers that lift up themselves in me against thee 69. Ah Lord God how much better is it thus to have thee than to have all things out of thee as the Corn Wine and Oyl of the World 70. What Ah what is Earth to Heaven these things below to the things that are above but as pebbles to pearls as dross to gold or as a shadow to the most glorious and most sublime substance 71. The one being life the other death the one fully satisfies the other is vain and brings nothing but vexation of Spirit with it 72. We cannot know God till we altogether forget our selves we cannot hear God till we are altogether deaf to our selves and to all things out of God we cannot see God till we are stark blind to all things besides him and that is not of him we cannot find God as he is untill we have lost our selves and all things else that concerns him not so do and prosper 73. As we know not our latter end nor are not able to number our days so are we not at all able to tell what God is unless he tell us nor to hear him unless he open our hearts and give us understanding nor comprehend him until he hath made us one with himself and given us his own Spirit to know him by 74. Thus if we live to move after his call and be obedient unto his voice we shall so hear that our Souls shall live and for ever rejoyce that we live thus to obey him 75. Ah Lord God Almighty maker of Heaven and Earth thou art the all of all those that know thee they that know thee O God as thou art to be known care to know nothing else thou art altogether alsufficient to content and satisfie them with all pleasures and delights their joys are full when that they enjoy thee And they then say with Jacob that they have all and with David desire nothing else either in Heaven above or Earth beneath Their wills are so swallowed up into thine that they are not theirs but thine and thus to live to thee and in thee they count it only to live and out of thee to be as if they were not as if they had no being 76. I am a Creature but thy Creature O Lord my God I am a man but created for thy self for thy glory and my Everlasting good and happiness and shall I know that I am thus such a one and not be satisfied for is there any thing else that can satisfie me thus 77. Ah Lord thou settest before me life and death good and evil light and darkness Heaven and Earth the things above and the things below Ah suffer me not I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to prefer pebbles to pearls dross to gold darkness to light death to life evil to good Earth to Heaven these low things here below to those high and most transcendent glorious things above But let me give my self to thee O God that hast provided and given such rich rare and pretious things to me enjoying them let me not care seek for or mind these having thee let me be fully satisfied and rejoyce evermore with unspeakable joy 78. Being thy favorite O God who art King of kings and Lord of lords living in thy fear and favour shall I not rejoyce much more by much than they do or can do that are but favourites to men and have but their favour they shall all pass away but thee and thy word of grace ingrafted in me shall endure for ever and for ever 79. Ah Lord God pour out of thy self into me more and more that I may be made to rejoyce always with unspeakable joy yea that my joys may be full 80. Let m● O Lord rejoyce much more
of Nature that it may be no longer I that live but thee in me and that even whilst I live here in the flesh it may be by thy Faith and in thy Faith O Son of God who hast loved me and given thy self for me O Lord I believe increase I beseech thee my Faith that I may increase in strength grow in grace from one degree unto another that having finisht my Course here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after this life ended live with thee and in thee in bliss and glory world without end Ah Lord God seeing I have taken upon me to speak be thou pleased to hear me and to continue to inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercies poured and showred down so gratiously and plenteously into my heart and soul on my Bed of Sickness Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my pains yea making the thoughts of Death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true Joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to communicate unto my Soul Heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gracious and divine love and the pardon of all my sins the flouds O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressible and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak enrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this Joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect Freedom and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercies which thou hast been pleased so richly graciously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my days not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Laws yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the ●orepast time of my life by an exact serious carefull watchfull and holy walking in thy most holy ways and never be truly satisfied till thou hast altogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may always see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and aim in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who dis-approve of it and that thou wilt do this and bless it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrosive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Launce to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others to condemn some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels railing Shimeis sinfull Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet with in this sinfull ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gall nor guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy Name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor Soul I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy Soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving
not who would not be content to be contemptible for a little space to be thus honoured and made truly honourable for ever Ah who would not who would not be right well content to be banisht for a while to be thus brought home in triumph gloriously to abide in his Fathers house for ever who would not Ah who would not be well content and rejoyce to be a stranger and a Pilgrim for a little while in a strange land to have such a possession for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not be in a storm for a while to enjoy for ever such a calm who would not who would not want the delicacies of Egypt for a while to have the delicacies of Heaven for ever who would not Ah who is there that would not refuse to be called the Son of Pharaoh's Daughter for a while to be the Son of the Eternal living loving blessed God for ever and for ever Ah who would not who would not willingly and cheerfully suffer with the Children of God for a while for a little space to raign with the Children of God for ever who would not Ah who would not willingly be cloathed with raggs for a while to wear for ever such glorious robes who would not Ah who is he that would not be Crowned with Thorns for a moment to be Crowned with such a Crown of glory for ever Ah who would not who would not bear the Cross here till death that he may for ever wear the Crown of immortal life Ah who would not who would not suffer with Christ here to raign with Christ for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not be despised among men to be cherished among Angels Ah who would not who would not suffer as Lazarus did to raign as Lazarus doth Ah who would not who would not suffer as a member of Christs mystical body here to be a member of his glorious body for ever hereafter Ah who would not who would not live the life of the righteous here to live for ever and ever with the righteous hereafter not in the bosome of Abraham but in the bosome of Abraham's Isaac's and Jacob's Gods In the mean time O Lord give me grace courage and strength to run that good race to fight that good fight that thou hast set before me perseveringly unto the end that I may as willingly wear the Crown of Thorns here for thy sake as the Crown of glory hereafter for my own sake that I may be as willingly under temptation here as to be freed from temptation hereafter that for thy sake O Lord I may as willingly be contemptible here as honourable hereafter that I may as willingly suffer O Lord for thee here as raign with thee hereafter and that in all sufferings my only joy may be that I shall for ever enjoy thee But Ah Lord God what am I and what is there in me and therefore what am I able to do for thee or to render unto thee for this thy love which far surpasseth the love of Women Men or of Angels as there was never sorrow like to thy sorrow so there was never love like to thy love true it is O Lord for all this thy love thou requirest nothing but love again Ah how fain would I love thee but I cannot as I would how much less then is it then I should when I would do good evil is present and I do the evil many times which I would not but do not cannot do the good which I would to will is many times present but how to perform I know not but thanks be unto God through our Lord Jesus Christ though with my flesh I serve the law of sin yet with my mind I serve the law of God Grant then O sweet Jesus and give me grace that I may love thee as thou hast loved me and do for thee as thou hast done for me and to this end make my heart upright before thee even according to thine own heart that it may no longer be mine own but thine own that I may be only thine wholly thine holy thine always thine and ever thine that thou in me and I in thee may from sin be ever free Teach me O Lord so to number my days that I may apply my heart unto Wisdom that I may be always mindfull of my last end and of the reckoning that I must then make before thee the Judge of Heaven and Earth Ah Lord suffer me not any longer to walk after the devices of mine own decitfull evil heart but grant O God by thy power I may have power to do and walk uprightly before thee in all thy paths and that I may never more swerve nor turn aside out of the way of thy Commandments either to the right hand of pleasures or to the left hand of profits Give me grace O Lord God I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ to see mine own badness and thy goodness ready and willing to make me good that I may see mine own emptiness and thy fulness ready to fill me mine own nakedness and thy robes to cover and cloath me mine own sinfulness and thy righteousness to make me righteous mine own cursedness and thy blessedness to make me blessed my own deformity and ugliness and thy beautifulness to make me beautifull my own slavery and thy freedom and freeness to make me free mine own unworthyness and thy worthyness to make me worthy mine own insufficiency and thine al-sufficiency mine own demerit and thy merit mine own disobedience and thine obedience mine own nothingness yea altogether nothing and thine Almightiness yea altogether all things for in thee are all things from thee come all things and by thee O God all things are and were created I do most unfeignedly confess O Lord that I am unable and unfit to speak unto thee and as unworthy to hear thee speak unto me for in me that is in my flesh there is no good I am all evil only evil and continually evil but in thee O God dwelleth all good for thou art all good only good and continually dost good without thee I can say nothing think nothing nor do nothing that is good suffer me not therefore O Lord I beseech thee to speak in my own wisdom for that would be but the wisdom of words but let me O Lord speak in thy wisdom which will be the words of wisdom and Wisdoms words Let me not O Lord go forth in my own strength against any Temptation for I am so weak I should be overcome and fall into any Temptation but let thy strength thy power thy might and thy love O Lord be seen in my weakness to strengthen me and by thy power powerfully working in me I may overcome and trample under my feet all the strength and power of all my adversaries and enemies Devils lust worlds lusts and self-lusts Ah Lord God suffer me not to go from thee for thou hast the
be thine and thou ours Ah Lord God I praise thee thou hast often given me the seal of thy Love thy Holy Spirit witnessing assuring establishing and perswading my Soul heart and conscience of the free full and gracious pardon of all my sins past present and to come Thou hast often O God I praise thee thus covered me thus spread the banners of thy Love over me thus made me sit under the shadow of thy branches thus feasted my Soul in thy banquetting house of Love rest peace and joy thus shewn me thy beauty and thy glory thus allured me and tyed me fast unto thy self with the cords of thy divine Love thus shewn me thy great Salvation thus given me wisdom and knowledge to know thee my God and Father and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent thus caused me to believe and hereby made my joys full to admiration adoration and astonishment On this glorious Mountain of Grace have often I desired to abide that I might continue to abide with thee to enjoy thee who only art full and perfect joy but I know that these changes shall and must come as Winter and Summer whilst we are here in the flesh but the time will come that thou wilt change us but once more and then we shall live with thee in thee and to thee for ever and for ever Ah Love who can speak of it fitly or as he should it is thy Divine Nature O God it is thy self and therefore men nor Angels cannot declare it this three-fold Cord thy Love O most blessed and glorious Trinity cannot be broken and against it the gates of Hell shall never prevail Ah greatness that 〈◊〉 good although thou hast in Heaven Millions of Millions of most glorious Creatures to look on and converse with yet notwithstanding such is thy profound humility and condescendence love and goodness that thou wilt and dost behold yea and delight too to behold and communicate unto us poor worms sinful dust and ashes the richest choicest greatest and most peculiar treasures of thy grace and glory even of the very same though in a far less degree and measure as thou dost unto them that are with thee in Heaven thou givest us knowledge to know thee love to love thee joy to rejoyce in thee and rest to roul and rest our selves on thee they indeed eat and are filled drink deep and are resatiated see thy face and are altogether satisfied But we indeed here do eat but the fragments or crums of their so Royal Feast and Banquet we do but sip of the cup of which they drink so deep and this to us is but at times but they are always thus replenished and filled with the good things of thy House we indeed see thee O God but very darkly at the best sight of thee to their sight we know but in part at the highest pitch of our attainments here in the flesh and joy and rejoyce but at times the World Ah this wretched World and the things of the flesh as cloggs yea as Mountains of Earth pull us down to the Earth when our Souls are as on Eagles wings soaning up to Heaven and pull us back when we are as it were peeping into Heaven yea when O God thou dost as it were pull back the vail that we might see even into the Holy of Holies thus thou feedest and feastest us at times with the very bread the blessed with thee feed on and causest us to drink the Wine of the same Vintage and we in thy Son Jesus Christ see our selves clean undefiled without spot or wrinkle pardoned justified sanctified yea as if we were already glorified with thine own glory true they have their portion in hand in possession ours is by promise yet to receive but we have thy Word O God who art just true and unchangeable and therefore we can and do rejoyce as well as they and with the same joy And thus O Christ my Saviour and Redeemer I know thou wilt present me unto thy Father even in thine own righteousness worthiness and obedience they shall all be imputed unto me as if they were mine own and in these thy glorious robes I am sure and certainly perswaded I shall find acceptance before God thy Father who will not be ashamed to own me for his own nor to be called my God and my Father I know and confess Ah my dear Redeemer that all my bliss and happiness present and future consist in being united unto thee and as having an interest and sure title to thy worthiness and obedience for in thee and in thee alone we are heirs of all mercies and blessings out of thee we are heirs of all miseries in thee we are children of the Father but out of thee children of the Devil in thee we shall be accepted and accounted worthy but out of thee rejected and esteemed unworthy in thee we shall pass for obedient even as if we had never transgrest nor sinned but out of thee we can be lookt on but as disobedient and transgressors of all thy most holy Laws and Divine Commandments in thee O Christ I say in thee we 〈◊〉 fit for Heaven but out of thee only fit for Hell in thee O Christ in thee we are the Fathers delight but out of thee his hatred in thee O Christ in thee we have much boldness and free access to the Throne of Grace but out of thee only shame and confusion of face in thee O Son of Righteousness we are more resplendent glorious and beautiful than the Sun but out of thee Ah out of thee we are blackness ugliness and deformity in thee O thou the only all we have all things but out of thee we want all things Ah that thou wouldest give me more and more of thy self that I might give thee more of my self Ah that thou wouldest so live in me that I might only live to thee and for thee who art the li●● of my li●e yea much better than ten thousand lives Thus even thus thy blood O Christ speaketh good things to us and for our souls for whom thou hast dyed it opens Heaven gates unto us when it shuts them against others it appeaseth the Fathers wrath towards us when it causeth it to burn against others it procureth us all good when it preventeth all against others it maketh our peace so that we shall ever live in rest and peace with thy Father the God of Peace with thy self the Prince of Peace and with thy Holy Spirit the Spirit of Peace when to others it shall make War for ever and for ever Ah my dear Saviour send down I most humbly beseech thee thy Holy Spirit into my heart to sanctifie purifie and purge me from all dead works from the lust of the eye the lust of the flesh and the pride of life that I may live as thou didst live here in the flesh doing all the good was possible to be done from the highest of Grace to the very lowest