condition of Interiour Captivity where the Soul lyes bound and ty'd up in darkness and prison For this condition Honoureth the Captivity of Jesus confined to the narrow compass of a little Host This Divine Lord of ours shuts himself up in this strait Prison for the Love of us The King of Glory is contracted under these little Species and so renders himself a Prisoner to man yes he renders himself in appearance his Slave giving all of himself to man and still Sacrificing himself to his Eternal Father for man He still suffers as I may say and dies for man and communicates to him all the merits of his precious Blood and Passion O Divine Captive captivate my heart so strongly that it may never be able to re-enter into its natural liberty But that wholly destroyed and annihilated it may never be capable of any other Life than that which is more than Humane Never enjoy any other liberty than that of your Children Let the World look upon them as slaves And load them with all Indignities as the out-cast of men in despite of all contempt they are still your Children Every time we approach to this Sacrament wherein Jesus Christ gives himself to us whole and entire we enter into a new obligation and contract to give up our selves wholly entirely to him and to endeavour to render all our Actions Divine Wherefore a Virtuous Soul ought not to say I have not had time enough to prepare my self before Communion for she ought to aim at no other thing in all the Actions of her Life than to receive this Bread of Life to the end she may live the Life of Jesus and keep her self continually in such dispositions as she sees him in in the Blessed Sacrament CHAP. III. To receive the Communion Worthily we must imitate those Actions which Jesus Christ practis'd when he Instituted it I remark Principally three Actions that Jesus Christ was pleas'd to do for our example when he instituted the Holy Sacrament And we cannot make a perfect Communion without the practice of them 1. He never performed any Exteriour Act of such a profound Humility In Truth he annihilated himself in the work of his Incarnation Both according to his Humane Nature which he deprived of its Natural Substance in an extraordinary way of conception And according to his Divinity which he plunged into the Abiss of Humane Miseries Yet he debased himself farther when he chose a Stable to be born in as the most Poor and Abject of Men Still more when he condescended to take the Badge of Sinners in his Circumcision But the lowest Abiss and center of annihilation was in the Chamber where he made the last Supper and where he did a thing that is the most humbling of all Humane Actions washing the Feet drying them kissing them with his adorable Lips and this even to the greatest of his Enemies and most wicked Miscreant that ever lived even to Judas O my Jesus this is too much debasing of your Grandeurs 't is too profound a Humiliation of your Majesty 'T is my duty who am a meer Nothing by the condition of my Being and become less than nothing by the enormity of my sins 't is my duty to annihilate my self under the feet of the vilest of Creatures What an intolerable Pride would it be in me if having seen the God of Majesty humbling himself so profoundly to give example and having heard him tell me so with his own mouth Exemplum dedi vobis ut vos it a faciatis I have given you an example that you should do so as you have seen me do What a Pride I say would it be in me to approach to your Communion without the Sentiments of the greatest Humility that I can possibly exhibit in any Action of my Life The second Action our Divine Master practiced when he instituted this great Sacrament was a sublime Prayer one of the most perfect as well as one of the last that he made in all his Life lifting up his Hands Eyes and Heart to God his Father by an Act of a most respectful Reverence And though he was himself his own Heaven where his Father reigned he recollects himself into this most Sacred Humanity as into a new Heaven and there addresses his Prayers to his Father who was present to him and his first Petition is Glorifie me O Father which is to say give me the joy of Humiliations and Opprobries of the Cross which I have so long desired and sighed after Teaching his Church to look upon Contempts and Crosses as her Glory and the greatest Honour she can desire upon Earth He demands also the Institution of this ineffable Mystery of the Holy Eucharist which he was going to make in obedience to his Eternal Will and Decree knowing that it was to be unto us a Fountain of Eternal Life and unto himself the beginning of a perpetual Death as continuing there in quality of a Sacrifice even to the consummation of the World It is my Duty therefore after his Example to prepare my Soul to receive his Divine Mysteries by the most pure and most perfect Prayer as God shall enlighten and inspire me The most assured is to apply ones self to him by a simple regard of Faith accompanied with Respect and Love considering him full of Graces full of Mercies and Blessings in this awful Mystery and that he comes unto us with all his riches and gives himself without any reserve even rendring himself in a manner passive for all the designs that he intends to accomplish within us whether he comes himself in person to operate there the marvellous effects of his Love This sole regard of Faith in its simplicity contains all the Perfections of other Acts. 'T is sufficient to have God by Regard unto him and by Love this is to attain to the end where the heart rests All other Exercises of Meditation and Practices of Interiour Virtues are but only means to arrive unto God when he is once found the Soul is to repose there and rest satisfied The third and most endearing Action that I admire in our Lord when he Instituted the Blessed Sacrament and when he made his Love appear in its greatest Lustre and in its most Ardent Fervour as well towards God the Father as towards Men even his Enemies When he comes into the World his Love is a rising Sun But when he comes to leave the World in the vigour of his Life and in the excess of Charity that he shew'd in dying for us he is a Sun in the heat of Noon day The Gospel tells us That having loved his own that were in the World he kindled the flames of his Charity and raised them to the highest point imaginable when he Instituted the Holy and adorable Sacrament In finem dilexit eos But that which is most inconceivable in it which the most of any thing demonstrates the eminence of his Charity is that he did not
that you withdraw from me your Divine Illuminations in Prayer and Recollection so as to be in a manner void of understanding sicut equus malus quibus non est intellectus Provided dear Jesus that I be but content with these humiliations it is sufficient I shall be happy Let others ask of you what they please as for me my desire is to be entirely annihilated and that my portion may be to honour your Divine humiliations We are not couragious enough to fight as we ought to destroy in us our sensual inclinations for we are too feeble against our selves and too indulgent to our defects in this spiritual combat But O my God put too your helping hand and work in us your will that we may be humbled and contentedly submit to your operation CHAP. VIII That the Soul is Rich when she possesses the love of self-contempt GOD has infus'd this thought into my Soul that the love of self-contempt and the desire of humiliation may be that hidden Treasure mention'd in the Gospel Thesauro abscondita in agro Matt. 13. 'T is really a great Treasure to love abjection yea a Treasure that contains abundance of inestimable Riches but they appear not outwardly being hid on purpose to preserve with more security And he only has this Treasure who keeps well hidden what he possesses 'T is a Treasure hidden and unknown to the world For who would imagine that there should be any thing so rich and precious in Sufferings and Humiliations Should our senses or carnal prudence or human reason make enquiry would they search here to enrich themselves and satisfie their desires We could never have thought that a hidden Treasure was here enshrin'd if Jesus Christ who put it there himself had not reveal'd this great secret to our Souls by his peculiar favour and merciful illuminations If we will have this Treasure we must buy it and give for it whatever we possess that is to say we must lay down our whole Patrimony the fatal Inheritance left us by our first Parents namely affection for Honours for Pleasures for Riches too much seeking our selves and our own interests the love of our own excellence and all the other wretched movables which we possess by being conceived in sin and brought forth in iniquity If we will not be content to part with all yea the utmost farthing we cannot be enriched with this Treasure O how rich and happy is he who does possess it For it is a Treasure which as the world cannog give so it cannot take it from us and as long as we are in quiet possession thereof we find God in our Souls and such a profound peace as passeth all human understanding When one has purchas'd a good Estate in Land we are ready to say He is in a good condition what need he fear now having a sure foundation of subsistence If a War happen the Enemies can't carry that away with them they may indeed deprive him of his Money and Goods but for his Land that is fix'd and immovable 'T is the same case with this precious Treasure when once the Soul hath it in possession and will not part with it she need not fear she has sure hold of subsistence for her spiritual life Neither the World nor the Devil nor all the Enemies of our Salvation let them make never such furious on-sets can rob her of it it surpasses their power and belongs not to them 'T is true they may deprive her of some moveables as sensible consolations the love of austerities the desire to undertake brave actions for the Glory of God as to go to Canada or England for the conversion of Souls to the Catholick Faith in a word all the fair Idaea's of Spirituality The Devil the World Nature has a mind to these movables and a Soul that possesses only these has nothing but what may be taken from her but whosoever possesses this Treasure of the love of abjection and self-denial is rich for ever And when God is pleased to discover to a Soul the value thereof Prae gaudio illius vadit vendit universa quae habet emit agrum illum she joyfully parts with all she has to get it in possession We have a double right to pretend to the possession of this Divine Treasure The first is our natural inability to good the second is our criminal sinfulness These two lay upon us a continual obligation to endeavour after self-denial and annihilation and this endeavour is very pleasing to God who delights to see a Creature acknowledge what is due to it self and render to him his deserved Glory The Son of God began as a Gyant to run in this way of self-contempt by his Incarnation for 't is a wonderful humiliation for God to become Man and he finished this course by his Death on the Cross which was as low as humility could descend For God-Man to die an infamous death between two Thieves as a Malefactor and his whole life besides was but as one continued humiliation and yet alas we pass away our days in vanity calling our selves Christians tho' all for exaltation of our selves destitute of self-denial and true humility O wonderful blindness O Jesus poor and abject when will you draw me after you by the powerful attracts of your mercy Your ways are pure and pleasant and odoriferous to those whose Souls are enlightened with the Rays of Grace You O Jesus establish your Empire in humble hearts and reign there in peace as the Devil sets up his Kingdom in proud Souls and there domineers with intolerable Tyranny CHAP. V. What profit we draw from humiliations PAins and Miseries humble the body Poverty Riches Contempt Reputation and Honour Death Life aridities in Prayer spiritual Consolations all these conduce to purifie Virtue and sacrifice man wholly to God Some glorifie him by action some by suffering others by privations and humiliations and these last are the greatest Saints though here despis'd and known to God alone We ought to resign our selves to the conduct of God's spirit but if it was left to our own choice the way of abjections is best and safest Job did more glorifie God on the Dunghil than in his Palace Happy is he who in glorifying God follows the call of his holy inspirations in a way which the world neither does nor can well understand 'T is a great misery not to be willing to acknowledge that human wisdom is but folly before God which continually eggs us on to get out of the happy state of abjection upon the fairest pretences imaginable as the salvation of souls to help our Neighbours and the like Notwithstanding 't is safest to yield our selves up to the sole conduct of God's holy Spirit the order of whose providence we cannot shun God glorifies himself in Heaven by the exaltation of his Creatures on Earth by their Humiliation Let no person complain then that he cannot be instrumental to the glory of God for
pleasing to him And seeing this exercise of the supernatural life does bring with it a universal Peace and this Peace cannot be preserved without suffering contentedly all injuries whatsoever this excellent life does teach us holy Patience Now this Patience preserves this Peace and this Peace brings with it an admirable Liberty and Resolution to mind principally the One thing necessary which is to give up our selves to God and his direction CHAP. X. Our greatest happiness on Earth is to profess the way of Christianity I Have a great resentment of joy and thankfulness to see my self a Member of Christ's Church and in the number of the Faithful I have a sensible taste of this happiness which is incomparable O my God! what shall I return unto you for having prevented me with this signal mercy why have you chosen me out among so many thousands Alas this is the excess of your sole bounty to me To be a Child of the Church O what a happiness is this 'T is of more worth than to be Monarch of the whole world The Church is the Congregation of the Faithful that is of those who believe and confess Jesus Christ and have no other Maxims nor Sentiments than his O my Soul let us then live as becomes our Profession that Jesusmay live in us according to his holy will and inclinations To be a Member of Christ's Church is to be a person who ought to have an affection for humiliations and crosses to be well content not to thrive in the world and to advance in Virtue by opprobrious usage and contradictions What a misery is it to see us live so little in the exercise of Christianity We account it an honour to be in authority to be well descended to have a generous spirit but to be a Christian we are affraid to own it by our actions O the beauty that adorns our Christian Profession How wonderful is it and yet how little esteemed by us I shall be very honourable and happy to keep that with me when other things are gone and vanish'd O how amiable are the Maxims of a supernatural life in what an excellent order do they put all things They give to every one what is their due to God all Honour and Glory and to me a wretched sinner Contempt and Confusion For I ought to consider my self as a centre of all miseries and deserved punishments God is the Centre and Object of all the adorations of Men and Angels Glory is his just tribute but to me belongs confusion If I should be beaten disgracefully I ought to take it with contentation to see Justice so well done to me on this occasion And if I was truly animated with the spirit of Christianity I ought as much desire to be humbled as worldings thirst after Honours Praises and Preferments 'T is a supernatural disorder not to love Ignominies and not to endeavour the destruction of our corrupted Nature Jesus hath built his Mystical Body on the ruins of our Natural Body and we cannot form in us the same life of Jesus without the ruin of ours that is to say our natural life according to our depraved inclinations Poverty Pains Contempts your dear Companions good Jesus make sometimes my heart ake and then again they refresh me breathing forth such sweet Perfumes as chear my spirits A Perfume that purifies and calms my Soul into a fit temper to converse with you I will now wonder no more that your Spouses run after you in the Odour of your Perfumes A Perfume that doth strengthen me to accomplish the desires I have to be conformable to you My heart dilates it self with hope to see that happy day in this life when I shall be free from all molestation of Creatures and have some participation of the poverty and abjections of Jesus crucified We cannot live here without some Director or other for either the Humanity of Jesus will direct us or the Humanity of Adam will govern us If we live the life of Christianity the First will conduct us and impart to us such directions as his holy Soul receiv'd from the Divinity which are all for the Cross and humiliations If we love only a human life the Other will guide us in the ways of self-love 'T is as great a miracle for a Soul to live a supernatural life as for a stone to elevate it self into the air because the corruption of sin hath made the Soul so heavy that of her self she cannot but tend downward to sin and misery This is that which magnifies the power of Grace in us So that it is a prodigious vanity to boast of our good actions when being done by the supernatural power of Grace they are not the fruits of human Nature If a Soul loses the sight of the light of Faith she will soon lose her self in the Mist of self-love If she does not live in a continual mortification by curbing her natural appetites she must needs fall into superfluities and imperfections The sweetness and joy that a Soul receives from austerities crosses poverty denudation of Creatures makes her spiritual peaceful chearful and affords her solid content and satisfaction The content and delights she receives from sensual pleasures though lawful as Meat and Drink temporal successes Reputation c. make her carnal and afford her but a false peace and vain joy and instead of elevating her to contemplation do more or less depress her to sensuality CHAP. XI That Truth is only found in the Spirit of Christianity the rest is Vanity WHen the beams of the light of Faith are darted into a Soul they discover to her that there 's nothing true indeed but the verities of Christianity which Jesus came from Heaven to teach us and all the rest but deceit and vanity O what happiness is it for a Soul to be thus irradiated Then she begins to know how she hath been enveloped with darkness and dwelt in obscurity O what joys do now refresh her How rich and glorious is she in perceiving that what she thought to be true Riches Glory and Joy is false and counterfeited and in reality but poverty infamy and sorrow These heavenly Illustrations do open her eyes to see perfectly the vanities of this world which now she values not but Jesus is her only joy her life and verity Whatsoever is not Christian that is to say according to the Maxims of Christianity she esteems now as folly death and perdition and what to the world and the flesh is folly death and perdition she accounts to be wisdom life and the greatest gain O when the rays of this light do pierce a Soul how on a sudden becomes she knowing content and elevated 'T is hardly credible how much such a Soul is alienated from her self and whatsoever is not God She sees so much wisdom in the folly of Saints and so much beauty in their miseries that all the allurements of the world cannot win her affections For having been taken
eminent ways but judging our selves unworthy thereof and content with little our Saviour shall please to give us we must co-operate humbly and faithfully with that small portion of Grace we have already and not grow idle wishing for those eminent Graces wherewith perhaps our Souls shall never be beautified This is one of the chiefest points of humility to be content with that little portion we have in the state of Grace and judge our selves unworthy of God's favour 'T is true there 's nothing we ought so highly esteem as Grace and its increase in us and desire it of God with incessant prayers but this must be with perfect submission to his Divine will and pleasure that we may not disturb the peace of our Souls On one side I behold my extreme misery and I find my self so depressed that all my natural strength and endeavours do what they can to the utmost can never bring me out of my self On the other side I burn with desire to be wholly for God by living a supernatural and spiritual life It is to you O Divine Spirit I address my sighs the infinite source of all Graces you know I have a longing to live this spiritual life in the exercise whereof I shall find the true practice of Divine Love by which I shall satisfie my ardent desires to be wholly for Jesus and shall live no more after my natural inclinations and the Maxims of human Prudence But I see how impossible it is for me to attain this unless you vouchsafe to assist me with your illuminations against my darkness with your strength against my weakness with your continual supplies against my relapses For how often O Divine Spirit have I begun this supernatural life and fallen from it conquer'd by my Nature and worldly temptations Draw me after you so powerfully and continually that I may no more return into my self but may follow your attracts with perseverance I will follow you dear Jesus in the states of your mortal life in annihilations contempts poverty and sufferings And if I lose the sight of you in those obscurities which sometimes cloud my Soul yet let me not lose courage Provided I continue in your ways that is in the esteem and love of the true Christian Life you will not be far from me it being impossible that Jesus annihilated and suffering should not be near to a Soul suffering and annihilated Well then though we may lose the sight of Jesus the light we have in Prayer leaving us though we feel him not by sensible influences yet we are assured that he is near us if we be in his ways by self-denial and a love of humiliations for his sake O how happy is a Soul to be content to follow the annihilations of Jesus without the feeling of his persumes and sweetnesses She does practice the purity of love in this condition For to be deprived of light and consolations which is very harsh to Nature and suffer it contentedly is one of the most excellent acts of a spiritual life which consists chiefly in a perfect resignation to suffer as well inwardly as outwardly when God pleases I am very sensible by experience that there 's a vast difference between thinking and doing talking and living this true Christian life When we meet with no repugnance we find it not difficult to practice Virtue whereof the Idaea's are as sweet as the Acts are bitter of such as consist in privations and sufferings I am in a state wherein I feel repugnances and am resolved thereby to humble my self the more and keep the peace of my Soul by an entire confidence of the succours which the Grace of God will vouchsafe unto me I consider that nothing was more seeble than the Apostles before Pentecost They hid themselves abandon'd their Master in his sufferings and Peter deny'd him but after they had received the Holy Ghost he infus'd such strength into their Souls that they became powerful and couragious to admiration CHAP. XV. That 't is impossible to live this Supernatural Life by Human Prudence THe supernatural Life is a continual mortification of depraved Nature 1. For 't is certain First That we cannot live this excellent life but by annihilating our sense and reason 2. Secondly That this life is wholly according to the Spirit which cannot be but the Spirit of God which inspires the Soul with his influences and sacred motions 3. Thirdly That the Soul which lives this life must be elevated above sense und reason whether it be in Prayer or the practice of Virtue which cannot be done but by offering up her self to God as a continual Sacrifice That though oftentimes w must do things sensual as to eat and drink yet these must be done as Grace directs us And other things according to reason as to love our Relations and Friends yet this must be only in God and as his Oracles do dictate to us O life of Grace how art thou a continual death and mortification Who lives Christianly lives a Martyrdom Tota vita Christiana Crux est Martyrium However 't is a joyful Martyrdom for solid joy cannot but make glad the Soul where Grace inhabits O that this fundamental truth of our Salvation did once well sink into our hearts The Son of God and eternal King of Glory leaves the bosom of his Father and becomes man to live and die in infinite humiliations Jesus gives us life by his death He puts us in a state of Grace by ruining himself according to Nature He purchases Eternity for us by yielding up his temporal life And the Evangelist expressing his death doth on set purpose use these words Emisit Spiritum He sent forth his Spirit Without doubt he sent it into the hearts of his faithful Servants to the end they may learn to live by his Spirit to him who died for them So says St. Paul Misit Deus Spiritum Filii sui in corda nostra ut qui vivunt jam non sibi vivant sed ei qui pro ipsis mortuus est What remains then but that we banish our carnal Spirit which carries us on to sensual delights although sometimes not sinful Let us love the Spirit of penance of suffering of self-denial and humiliations Gerson hath an excellent saying By how much the more Nature is mortified by so much the more Grace is infused We must often call to mind that the Grain of Wheat cast into the Earth except it die cannot bring forth fruit If we do not die to our selves and the World and the Spirit of Nature we can never become perfect Christians nor bring forth the fruits of Divine Love We must be as nothing before men that we may be something in the sight of God Why should the Disciple be above his Master The Spirit of Grace and the Spirit of Nature do continually jar and war one against the other The exercise of the spiritual life will afford us light to discern their different motions but when
which the World would take from you against my will O how miserable am I if I set my affections on any thing beside you knowing that this is my duty and my Happiness O my God from this moment I for ever forbid any Creature to possess my heart Hark hither my will I now give thee this express command that thou open not the door of my heart but to my Well-beloved whose infinite love has prevented us from all eternity The sixth Day The Justice of God TO take a prospect of the Divine Justice is not less pleasing to good men nor less admirable Thou wilt see it O my Soul governing the whole universe The throne of this Divine Justice is establish'd in Heaven the arrests are pronounc'd on earth and the execution thereof in the regions of darkness 'T is Divine Justice that sets a Crown upon heir heads who have fought the battles of the Lord of Hosts with courage and fidelity And for these momentary and light afflictions rewards them with an eternal weight of Glory O Justice crowning and glorifying us how lovely art thou 'T is Divine Justice that thunders Comminations against sinners on earth to bring them to repentance by the terrours of everlasting sufferings and sometimes chastises them with temporal afflictions that they may not be tormented to all eternity O amiable Justice that treats so here poor sinners as to make them Penitents and not miserable But O how terrible is the Divine Justice which in hatred of sin does punish eternally those who will not be brought to any amendment O how does a severe but just Sentence condemn such to everlasting flames always devouring and never consuming them which the breath of Gods anger has kindled and shall never be extinguished O my God you did not spare your own Son taking our sins upon him to show us the better how to detest sin O who can but tremble considering your severity O who dare provoke the Almighty to anger Quis novit potestatem irae tuae O my God I do consider this and flie for refuge to your Mercy The seventh Day The Mercy of God O Divine Mercy how dost thou ravish my heart 'T is to thee my Soul will sing eternally Miserecordias Domini in aeternum cantabo In my retired thoughts I look upon this World as a great Hospital fill'd with some sick some maimed some lame some blind some languishing some incurable and Divine Mercy goes a visiting of them These she encourages those she comforts binds up the wounds of others and offers remedies proper to each misery not absolutely abandoning any one though never in so desperate a condition O amiable Mercy of our God into what corner of the World dost not thou go to exercise thy goodness Are there any miserable Sons of Adam who have not tasted the sweets of comforts Who ever made his addresses to thee that hath not found most tender compassions in thy bosom O my Soul what must we pant after but the more then material embraces of this adorable Mercy In what canst thou put thy hope and confidence except in the source of this inexhaustible goodness The whole World is full of the Mercy of God and wilt thou O my Soul afflict thy self and be discourag'd with temporal miseries and momentary sufferings It is the work of Mercy thus to punish thee Do not the Sufferings of this life work for us a far more eternal weight of Glory Art thou O my Soul terrified with the remembrance of thy sins Consider God is a God of infinite Mercy and desires not the death of a sinner He who refuses to throw himself into the arms of Gods Mercy is ignorant or else layes not to heart that Mercy attends the greatest sinners to the last moment of Life for their Conversion Miserecordia tua subsequetur me omnibus diebus vitae meae O my God as your Mercy has prevented me so grant that it may follow me all the days of my Life Soli Deo sit Gloria The End of the Third BOOK BOOK IV. Of Solitude and the practice of two excellent Retreats of ten Days CHAP. I. Of the Beauty of Christian Solitude WE ought to have an esteem of all sorts of Professions whereof God is the Author who though he be but one doth nevertheless afford to his Church different states of living It concerns us therefore to think very honourably of them all and manifest as much by our words but to betake our selves only to what God calls us The excellency of other ways ought not to withdraw us from our proper Vocation A Soul then may delight her self in beholding the Church as a most beautiful Medow replenish'd with great variety of Flowers of singular virtue and so taking complacency in all states of Life to apply her self only to that which she has a call from Heaven and this also because God requires it from her A Solitary retired life is so beautiful and has such charming attractives that when the Soul has once experience of it she finds there her Heaven upon earth Being to take a farewell of one of my Friends who was returning home and having parted with him this thought forthwith strongly ceaz'd my imagination Alas my God! when shall I return home to my self that is to you Seeing your goodness is more manifest in affording me a place in the Idaeas of your understanding from all eternity before time gave me an existence among created entities now I am your Creature let me consider my self daily as in you who are my inheritance and everlasting possession To be be at home O my Soul is not to be with thy self but with God thy Creator O how great is the blindness of men not to understand that they have no other Country but the Divinity from whence they proceeded by their Creation Inconsiderate Creatures whether are you going For my part I will return home to the Fountain of my Being my true home who is great beautiful admirable eternal and incomprehensible O what joy is it to consider that my true home is such as he is Is it possible O my God that you are the home and center of my Soul Why do we not readily go out from the clogging crouds of Creatures where we are in perpetual banishment to return to our home the bosome of our Creatour What can I desire in Heaven or in Earth besides you my portion and Inheritance for ever Comfort thy self O my Soul considering that thou shalt return to the Divinity thy glorious home and in the interim rest content with Jesus thy crucified home and repose O how amiable also how great and admirable is Jesus crucified My Soul can find no Peace but by resting in him where nature tasts a bitterness a thousand times more sweet than all Worldly delicacies Without him all other pleasures are but dreaming fancies O Jesus crucified the World knows not your sweets the beauty of your sufferings is hid from their sight they
great so full of Glory you come to humble your self and to annihilate your self in a Soul so Criminal so Unfaithful 'T is true Abjections were not inconsistent with the condition of your Mortal Life But since now you are in Glory methinks you ought to be exempt from them If my Soul had any Love for your Interests she would not procure you such Humiliations and therefore she would do better not to Communicate so often for then she would not be the occasion of humbling you so often This Sentiment joyned with the knowledge of my own unworthiness would make me abstain from Communicating if I did not know withall that your Delights are to be with such Souls as desire likewise to take their Delights in you and that you have said in St. John That if we do not eat your Adorable Flesh we shall not have Life in you When I consider my Indignity and yet present my self to Communicate with a Soul that is an ever-flowing source of Vices and Sins I should be very much afflicted to see Jesus Christ so ill lodged in the midst of my Imperfections not knowing in what part of my Soul I might place him Where he might not see things unworthy of his Presence This sight would doubtless cause me a great deal of pain if another regard did not encourage me I consider that when the Sun enters into a stinking and and offensive Dungeon he is received there more in his own Brightness and Lustre than in the Dungeon it self and that so he is there without prejudicing his Grandeur or Purity When I have this Idaea before my eyes I say to my Lord 'T is true you enter into me all miserable as I am But it is true also that you are more in your Self in your Glory and in your Brightness Be therefore received in your Self O Divine Jesus in your Beauty and in your Grandeurs I rejoyce that the offensiveness and streightness of my Dungeon cannot prejudice your Beauties or your Greatness Enter therefore into me without going out of your Self Be received in me but more in your Self O bright Sun of Glory Live for ever in the midst of your own Splendours and Magnificence but do not cease to live also in the middle of my Obscurities and Misery Convert me unto you wholly and without reserve CHAP. II. To Communicate worthily we must put our selves in a state conformable to that of Jesus Christ in the Blessed Sacrament JEsus Christ chose to give himself to us in this stupendious Mystery in the state of Death as to any thing that concerns the life of the Senses but as a Fountain of Life in regard of the Interiour Life a Divine Life a Life of Grace a Life of Contemplation and of continual application of the mind to adore the Majesty of God his Father A Life I say poor and nothing to the Exteriour but shining with the Divinest and most awful Lustre and Infinitely rich under the vails of the outward Species that hid it from the eyes of the World Thus and with these dispositions he presents himself to us requiring that we likewise present our selves unto him with dispositions conformable to his His Sacred Humanity that he gives us in the Holy Communion was rais'd to a Divine Life by the Hypostatical Union So also must we be by Grace viz. Our understanding must be elevated above it self by a high illustration of Faith and our Will inflamed by a sublime Sense of the Love of God and so in fine our whole Soul must be animated with the Life of Grace O the Sublimity of the Life of Grace How Admirable art thou how High how Ineffable Thou raisest man from Earth to Heaven thou makest him live in God I and of God too since thou dost prepare him to live in this World upon the same Substance which nourisheth the Blessed in Heaven O great Life of Grace thou art poor to the Exteriour but most rich to the Interiour Thou appearest low but art most high I am ravished with thy Beauties I cannot live a moment without Thee who makest us live with a Life Divine who placest the Soul in the heart of God and disposest her to see God placed in her own Heart When the Charms and Beauty of this Life have once discovered themselves to the Soul she willingly quits all other things to imbrace them and whatsoever else seems to her no better than Death and Corruption she renounces the World Pleasures and Riches she condemns her self to Pennances Mortifications and Poverty to obtain this Divine Life and feels a Sacred hunger after this adorable nourishment that is her only support O that I did throughly know that I did Faithfully pursue this Divine Life a Life so little known so little practis'd in the World where People do not thirst after the Living Waters of your Eternal Fountain O my God! O Jesus draw me after you through all the Actions and Duties of the Life of Grace which is at its greatest height among Injuries and Miseries Draw me O Lord and I will run after you in the Odour of your Perfumes What a pleasure is it O my Soul to see you march like a Gyant in the ways of Grace nourished and strengthened in your course with the Bread of Heaven Ambulavit in fortitudine cibi illius usque ad montem Dei To live in Death as Jesus seems to do in the Blessed Sacrament to change Glory for Contempt to be most delighted when one is annihilated and even Sacrificed is the true Character of the Life of Grace It makes all things die to the Exteriour and live only to the Interiour and above all things it confers the Spirit of Prayer keeping the Soul almost in a continual exercise and elevation by fixing its regard upon that Infinite and incomprehensible Being which she adores and is not able to understand and therefore annihilates her self in his presence suspended with admiration of those Divine Grandeurs which she sees annihilated in the Holy Eucharist O my Soul how great is thy Vileness how extream is thy Poverty What is man that thou O Lord art mindful of him Dost visit him and takest pleasure to come and dwell personally in him His Soul is drawn out of nothing his Body is but a piece of Clay and still you vouchsafe to set your eyes upon him How can a Creature so filthy so wretched so gross receive within it the Infinite Majesty of God Sink and humble your self to the very center of your Nothing and confess your Indignities O my Soul Cast down your eyes and acknowledge that you are unworthy so much as to lift them up towards this formidable Grandeur and more than all be penetrated with the deep sense of Admiration Gratitude and love of this excessive Goodness which condescends in this incomprehensible Mystery to annihilate it self to come and give it self to you even in the state of your own Nothing We must needs be very much in Love with our
interests to advance God's glory A Soul ought to be well-pleas'd that her body shall be crumbled to dust and as it were reduced to nothing to exalt the Glory of God and glorifie his Justice A holy person much wondred how the Saints who are powerful with God kept their bodies so long entire not obtaining that they might be humbled by putrefaction because they knowing the inestimable value of humiliation which most glorifies God ought as it seems to have procur'd it to their bodies But if God think best to glorifie himself by preserving them from corruption his Divine Will is and must be the Rule of their desires Sometimes I have desired death as amiable because it would give me free access to enjoy God but at present I have the spirit of annihilation This annihilation is a state above that of death and by it we offer a perfect Sacrifice A Soul which seeks the Glory of God desires death to enter into this perfect annihilation What is most horrible in Death paleness deformity noisomness putrefaction pleases her best for these are companions of a perfect annihilation to humble her as much as possible O death how lovely art thou to such a Soul 'T is a strange thing that the fire of Divine Love burns no brighter in our hearts upon the frequenting of the Sacraments Oftentimes we exercise our selves twice a day in mental Prayer sometimes by holy Conferences daily Lectures and Considerations Now I think the cause of this is that we are sad dejected with abjections which so chills the heart that the fire of Divine Love is stifled thereby but when once humiliation is a joy unto us the heart presently becomes enflamed My Soul having a great degust of this life feels a wonderful desire of death she never was more sensible than now of her Captivity and Prison in this mortal body She sighs after the liberty to see God and enjoy him without any disturbance whatsoever for all created things do divert this happy exercise in which consists her felicity Being a Prisoner in this Body she is yet in darkness and distractions by eating sleeping several affairs and accidents O how is she crucified in being deprived of the full Embraces of her Beloved Quis me liberabit de corpore mortis hujus This made St. Paul earnestly desire to be freed from the Prison of this mortal body I admire the happiness of those who die in our Lord and do wonder at the blindness of of such who passionately desire this present life and are taken up so much with the care of the Body Goods Employments which are so many impediments of our converse with God and Christian Perfection O how importunate is sensuality with us and yet how contemptible is every thing that is not God! We ought not to be discomforted at the loss of temporal things because thereby some chains of our Captivity are broken Much less ought we to be troubl'd to see our Body the Prison of our Soul to weaken by degrees and threaten death Take courage we shall soon see our desires accomplish'd and shortly we shall enjoy God in full possession This state of desires and languishings after God is a state whereby we honour him as our final happiness and being so he deserves by reason of his excellence that we should continually sigh after him Such as have no love for their final end make no matter of it and give too much evidence that they find their repose in something else which is a most dreadful disorder But considering our happiness by death methinks I see nothing more lovely than crosses and abjections which can only refresh a Soul panting after the full possession of God and sometimes so content with it that she forgets the pain of her banishment seeing her self in a state wherein she may glorifie God in so transcendent in a manner which is what she chiefly desires aspiring to enjoyment without having regard to her proper satisfaction CHAP. XVIII Considerations upon the natural inclinations we have to evil A Stone held in the Air if let go falls naturally to the ground by its own weight and 't is no more matter of wonder when we fall into imperfections If God leave us to our selves we are presently in our own nothing weakness and infirmity And if the Grace of God was not very great unto us we should fall more often They may be thought valiant who bear up stoutly against the blast of strong temptations Alas take us at the best we are as frail as Glasses on a Cupboard If some are sooner broken 't is because they are more used and found in the hand of an ill manager Those that stand still on the Cupboard if they had reason would not brag of their strength but only acknowledg that they have not been tryed by occasions When the Grace of God keeps us from falling we ought not to take complacence therein as if we were better than others by reason of such Divine Favours but our content ought to be in the good pleasure of God who is so munificent to his Creatures yea the most unworthy To be thus pleas'd only with God's will is also very necessary when it is God's pleasure to leave a Soul to combat with some singular imperfection a long time without victory For it being the will of God to leave a Soul thus to fight it out she ought to be as well content as if she was more elevated by Grace seeing in this state she meets with the Divine pleasure which is the object of her complacency Insomuch that the Soul has no more inclination for one Grace than another but indifferent to all being content to have her faults made known to glorifie God by the love of abjection Secret faults do us the greatest hurt when manifested if we make good use of it they may bring no small advantage to us I have at present a wonderful distast of this Life which is hardly a Life but a continual Death because it deprives us of knowledg and and love in perfection O how this mortal life is a great punishment and full of Crosses Here we sin here we forget God and run a hazard to lose him eternally Love here finds little nourishment being fed with slender knowledg sometimes much clouded and continual propensions to evil Dear Saviour when will you deliver me from the body of this death This was the desire of St. Paul which I take the courage to make being so much out of love with this miserable life The End of the first BOOK BOOK II. Of the Supernatural Life which is the Life of all true Christians CHAP. I. The Idaea or description of the Supernatural Life WE can never attain Perfection by the sole conduct of human reason which is the light of Philosophers Faith is the light of Christians which teacheth us to renounce the ratiocinations of carnal prudence to follow in simplicity a Jesus Crucified To observe the Commandments of God as
the Treasures of the Earth We ought daily according to our abilities to examine our selves to the end to purifie our hearts from all affections that tend not to this supernatural Life It resides in the superiour part of the Soul and therefore we must not wonder if the inferiour part has degusts and aversions from it We must expect that Nature Sense Friends the World and ordinary Christians will keep a noise and trouble our ears with many Arguments against it But to all this it is enough to answer in few words with St. Blandina Christiana sum Christiana sum I am a Christian Let us say to such who endeavour to divert us I have undertaken to lead this supernatural Life I will never abandon it maugre all the contradictions of worldly Maxims and the repugnances of sensual Nature I know to become a perfect Christian I must be turn'd up-side down destroy'd annihilated according to my natural inclinations hate in a manner all that the world naturally loves Riches Honours Pleasures yea though innocent and love what the world naturally hates Poverty Contempt and Sufferings This is a great attempt but we have powerful helps for we can do all things through Christ strengthening us CHAP. III. That we ought with St. Paul to convert our selves wholly to God I Am now resolv'd in good earnest to convert my self wholly to God to be taken solely with his Divine Beauty and Infinite Goodness forsaking all Creatures which heretofore have too much taken up my time and affections O my God! deal with me as you did with your Apostle strike me down to the ground humble me make me blind to all things but to You who are in the interiour of my heart beaming forth Lights which discover sufficiently your Divine presence This makes me ask you O my God what you will have me to do And methinks you answer That this manifestation of your presence in me should make such an extraordinary impression on me as to change my life and conform my self wholly to your Divine will and pleasure Behold it seems to me this is what you would have me to do First Not to persecute the sentiments and inclinations I have to a Christian Life by taking part with the struglings of old Adam in me St. Paul persecuted Jesus Christ in persecuting the Primitive Christians and I also persecute the same Jesus when I stifle the motions of Grace in me and will not suffer my Soul to live his life which he did lead here for me to follow Pardon me good Jesus I will no longer persecute you by stifling your holy Inspirations I desire to be a Christian and your Disciple I will profess Christianity in the face of the Sun and only be asham'd to live after the Law of old Adam To be a Christian this is my Glory this is my Life this is my Delight Poverty Contempts Pains Humiliations I will no more be affraid of you but make much of you seeing Jesus hath loved you even to death To live this Life we must become blind and have no other light than what the rays of Faith afford us For Nature cannot teach us the Grandeur Excellence and Eminency of Christianity St Paul after his Conversion suffered a thousand hardships He was whipt banish'd despis'd mock'd imprison'd tormented us'd as if he was the filth and off-scouring of the world which is as much as to say St. Paul after his Conversion was a Christian to death nothing could deter him from living the life of Jesus Christ Let us then O my Soul be true Christians that is let us be content to live in Sufferings Persecutions Mortifications and the Ignominies of the Cross of Jesus Christ Let us embrace the wisdom of the Word Incarnate and become as Fools in the eyes of the world who persecute true Christians that is those who die to themselves and all things else to live to Jesus Poor Christian Life little art thou known how ill art thou treated in the world Thou dwell'st in the lips of many but few afford thee a place in their heart I am fully persuaded that a Soul truly converted loves God entirely that this entire love of God is a perfect union with his goodness that such a union implies a universal detachment from the Creature that such a detachment cannot be got without the profession of Virtues and among the rest Poverty and Self-denial by which we are interiourly disengaged from earthly things and exteriourly when God pleases contentedly suffer miseries sickness loss of Goods and whatever the world naturally abhors as evil but by the work of Grace are for our greater good because they advance our union with God When we abound with Riches and Honours we live in a continual fear of having too great an affection for them but in sufferings a Soul possesses a stronger assurance of Divine Love Nothing but Grace can teach us these verities and a greater Grace can only make us relish and practice them the weight of our natural inclinations still hindring us from rising to so great Perfection When we give up our selves to God with resolutions daily to advance in Virtue we can more easily conceive what this perfection is than practice it However let us take courage nothing is impossible to God and we shall find doubtless this Jewel by a perfect abnegation that is possessing nothing not the very means of serving God but with a spirit of resignation To follow Jesus naked on the Cross we must divest our selves of all Creatures that we may be solely united to him Yea dear Jesus my desire is only to be for you my resolution is to serve you and in what manner you please be it by action or by suffering or contemplation I will be attached to nothing but You my desire is to be dis-engag'd from all Creatures to find You and possess You as my only happiness CHAP. XV. Of the Alliance we must make with the holy Folly of the Cross AFter many illustrations of Grace which have cleared up to me the beauty of the sacred Folly of the Cross after many proposals and reviews I have at last espous'd it saying with fervour the same words which Christ us'd to his Spouse in the Canticles Sponsabo te in aeternum My Friend my Spouse my Sister I have espoused thee for ever Methinks I say these words for ever but yet faintly my infinite frailties making me fearful I may become an inconstant Lover Notwithstanding I say for ever with a real heart in hope that by virtue of that immense Love whereby the Divinity hath for ever espoused our human Nature and this same Humanity hath espoused the Cross sufferings and abjections our blessed Saviour will vouchsafe me some part of the Grace of this Divine Alliance to enable me to walk his way and live his life in annihilation humiliations and self-denial Let us then O my Soul live this life of the Son of God any other life is but a real death Jesus
according to Nature and must employ all means and Motives to this effect I will set down some of them 'T is a good Motive or means to renounce all Creatures and our selves by a spirit of denudation saying with great fervour and affection Away Creatures get hence from me and leave a place in my heart for God alone 2. 'T is a good Motive to do this by a spirit of Poverty for it is not possible to follow Jesus poor and abject unless in due circumstances we be willing to leave all things for Jesus sake and become poor to follow him Let us therefore be content to quit all things joyfully and be glad to have nothing to possess God himself alone 3. ' Tisae good Motive to die to all things by a spirit of abjection What greater happiness is there O my Soul than to live in humiliation seeing this was the life of God upon Earth To be despised with Jesus is a state of beatitude Worldly Prosperity is a hindrance to our happiness 4. 'T is a good Motive to abandon all things by a spirit of oblation sacrificing and annihilating our selves sincerely to pay homage to the Infinite Majesty of God with such a confidence in him so as to rely never more on any Creature Quid enim mihi est in Caelo aut à te quid volui super Terram Deus cordis mei O my God! shall any Creature take part of my heart with you when all is yours If it was possible to love you too much I might give place to something else but seeing I am infinitely below my duty in that particular what Creature can pretend to have the least part with you CHAP. IX Of the liberty we enjoy by the exercise of the Supernatural Life 'T Is wonderful to see the great liberty which a Soul enjoys by the exercises of a supernatural life When the illuminations of this state irradiate a Soul throughly she enters into a new region of light full of Peace and Love marvelous large and spatious in which she lives in high union with God A union which is not so liable to vicissitudes and disturbances as formerly because accidental occurrences as sickness disgraces c. do not hurt such a Soul by reason they make no strong impression in her and by consequence being become less sensible she is not easily diverted from the supernatural Object of her love Yea such a Soul improves hindrances and divertisements to her greater recollection and increase of Divine Love because in this state she is dis-engag'd from the Creature and so freed from fear of miseries which she can chearfully embrace as the occasions of her happiness whereby she enters into a perfect liberty and great purity of Virtue I could never well understand what that is which is called Purity of Virtue but now I see 't is the state of a supernatural life wherein the Soul lives no more in her self and of her self and for her self but in God and of God and for God being wholly separated from the Creatures and united to God Alas how is this poor Soul afflicted to do things so much below her self in this high condition For oftentimes she must act according to her natural inclinations and the dictates of pure reason which affords her matter of sighs and languishings after her Beloved This is that which kindles in her breast an ardent desire to be dissolved and leave this earthly Tabernacle wherein by the common misery of mankind she lives a life displeasing to her self for being not wholly for God as she desires it seems to her a kind of death And seeing she cannot continually live this supernatural life without vicissitudes it is as it were a death unto her A Death unknown to sensual men but such that are spiritual are very sensible thereof O Jesus deliver me from this life of mortality seeing here I cannot live your life of purity in comparison of which all other lives are but death and corruption To see so clearly the excellencies of a life so lovely and not to be able to live but little of it considering my frailty makes me resent my misery and acknowledge dear Jesus how necessary your Grace is for me O how great is the dependence which my Soul hath on your mercy 't is so mighty and essential dependence that words cannot sufficiently express it However this comforts me herein that it gives you all the Glory of the Interiour beauty in the Soul which is a work more magnifies your Power Bounty and Wisdom than the whole outward work of the Creation Your greatest wonders dear Saviour are secret and hidden A Soul that lives this supernatural life above her inclinations does more set forth the great power of God than to elevate the Heavens above the Earth for this is as miraculous as to elevate the Earth above the Heavens This makes me O my God desire to live this blessed life that I may thereby bring greater Glory to your Name Assist me powerfully with your Grace for if I be once left to my self I shall relapse into my natural weakness which is but a meer Nothing and Infirmity Some trouble themselves too much in philosophising on this spiritual life which is needless it being enough to say The Spirit of Jesus must be the Spirit of my Interiour 't is He by whom I must live this life and act accordingly and so free our selves from other considerations which may hinder our liberty to follow this light and fall faithfully to practice on the occasions of Crosses Contempts and Disgraces which happen to us in this life I ought daily to endeavour after purity although I cannot attain the highest practice because the course of my life wherein God has placed me will not permit it nor does exact of me to attempt of my self the grand effects of purity lest I should be discourag'd by failing in the enterprize This is only the perfection of the greatest Saints and herein we must give our selves up to the conduct of the Spirit of Jesus Christ who being infinitely wise we need not fear having him for our Leader But as we ought not to be too rigorous so we must not be too faint-hearted in the ways of perfection but apply our selves with love and resolution to all occasions by suffering peaceably and with contentation whatever injuries we may receive from others in seeking too much their own interest All sufferings are to be entertain'd with love but especially what we suffer by Injustice For is not this that which the Son of God hath done principally upon Earth by suffering innocently Do not therefore say I would suffer this injury if he that does it had the least reason for it for this proceeds from self-love and passion It may well be that he has no reason to do you this injury but Divine Reason and the spirit of Christianity teach you to bear it patiently 'T is good to suffer thus and in this to imitate Jesus is
indisposition of Health I ought to value it and not forsake my usual Devotions nor have recourse to such refreshments as satisfie sensuality But to take pleasure for once to make bold with my body that hath often made bold with my Soul Notwithstanding this must be done with discretion 3. I must rejoyce at crosses and difficulties which I meet withall as affording matter to practice many great virtues which prepare the Soul for great graces and make her worthy of great love What God pleases to give oftentimes to his best Friends in this life are fair occasions to suffer for Christs sake by a generous renunciation of what the World most affects and nature most desires 4. I ought to be strongly perswaded that I shall be so far rich in virtue as I shall be poor in worldly goods provided I be faithful to the Grace of my vocation which invites me to be dead to all things but only God I must therefore have a care not to harken to the arguments of humane prudence which still finds pretensions enough to shun contempts and sufferings Our sensuality does much retardus in the way to perfection but humane reason more being more subtile and powerful to perswade The only remedy is to abandon our selves to the conduct of Grace and fall in love with the folly of the Cross CHAP. XIII To give our selves up to the conduct of Gods Spirit WE must not use violence in the practice of a Spiritual Life by binding our selves severely to this or that way but sweetly follow the motions of Gods Holy Spirit We must row against the stream of our corrupt nature but not strive against the wind that comes from Heaven Work we must but by following Gods holy Inspirations which are sensible enough to holy hearts a Soul accustomed to the conduct of God's Spirit does know his motions I cannot explicate this as I would but 't is an assured truth she knows them by experience I must wholly depend on Divine Providence without any dependance on Creatures though holy casting my self into the arms of God as an Infant that takes no care but to lye in the Mothers bosome to suck the teat and delighted therewith does love her dearly I confess our blessed Saviour treats me after this manner for without any sollicitude of mine to nourish my Soul with Spiritual food or without any searching into Books for that end but only in his Sacred heart I experience that I want nothing which sometimes does strike me with admiration and fear that I have been negligent to do my duty But this fear does presently vanish seeing God was pleased to provide for me before I thought on 't This makes me know experimentally that God will have me wholly depend upon him without any support from Creatures for if I seek to them his care diminishes and my Soul falls into indigence finding little succour from the Creatures she had recourse to which makes her soon retire to the Paps of Providence and this suffices A Mother sometimes has milk in one Pap and not in the other if the little Infant will change he is deceiv'd but finding little help from the left Pap he returns to the right and now will not quit it being grown wise by experience My Soul thus finding little help from the creature returns presently to the Pap of Providence and there abides I fear sometimes to have too many consolations in Prayer but this does satisfie me that God will have me live as an Infant that stands in need of such comforts He make choice of other Souls for great performances that regard his glory If an Infant should leave the bosome of his Mother to do her service he would fall and hurt himself and do no good He must then let others work and be content with his Mothers embraces Wherefore what I have to do is to stick close to God and let others travel in great affairs as more grown up in grace in comparison of whom a little Infant is nothing but weakness My perfection consists in my fidelity in a perfect abandon of my self to God which will increase as I advance in the ways of God and his designs I must therefore be in a manner passive and in my thoughts desires actions dispositions interiour and exteriour depend on the pure conduct of God and his pleasure A Soul well illuminated loves not the dispositions she finds in her self but God who gave them and his will is the sole object of her complacencies it being all one to her to be in this or that disposition as best pleases God and loving nothing more than a perfect abandon of her self to his Providence O dear abandon Thou art at present the object of my love which by thee is purified augmented and enflamed whosoever possesses thee does know and tast the amiable transports of great liberty of Spirit A Soul loses her self happily in thee after having lost all Creatures for the love of abjection and finds her self no where but in God being dead to all things besides him O dear abandon Thou art the disposition of dispositions and all other do refer to thee Happy are they that know thee being of more worth than all other graces A Soul in abandon hath a pure regard to God and is not concern'd but for his Interests yea desires not abjection nor any thing else but Gods good pleasure Few words cannot explicate the great effects that it works in the Interiour to establish a Soul perfectly in God 'T is abandon that makes her insensible in all kinds of accident and nothing but the loss of abandon can afflict her You are admirable O my God you are admirable in your holy operations and assentions that you make in Souls whom you conduct from light to light by your Divine Providence which is not known but by experience Sometimes it seem'd to me that the grace to love abjection was the highest pitch but now I see that abandon mounts the Soul to a more elevated state O dear abandon Thou doubtless wilt be the ultimate disposition I desire nothing but thee and death as the gate whereby to enter into an eternal abandon Dear death how pleasant and lovely dost thou seem unto me What allurements do I see in thee Deliver me from my captivity that I may fully enjoy my well-beloved However if thy coming will interrupt my abandon come not for thou art nothing in comparison and all thy delights will be bitter to me O dear abandon Thou art the beloved of my heart which ardently breaths after thee But when shall I know that I possess thee perfectly This shall be when the Divine will shall raign perfectly in me For my Soul shall be established in an intire indifferency to all events and means of perfection when she shall have no other joy then in God no other content no other felicity Our blessed Saviour sayes often to a Soul abandon'd to his will Think upon me and I will think upon
and Redeemer to lay out thy self upon the Creature and not correspond to his Inspirations who calls thee to himself What a horrible Infidelity would this be Let us not grieve the Holy Spirit by whom we are Sealed to the day of Redemption The subject of my third Prayer was the admirable Oeconomy of the Incarnation in that by the excess of Love and Goodness God was made Man and Man became God I had profound veneration for the adorable Humanity absorpt in the Divinity and with an amorous confidence beheld the Divinity as it were annihilated in the Humanity which seem'd to me as a Tabernacle of Honour where God dwelt with Infinite Delight This Humanity also in a manner diviniz'd takes Infinite Delight in the Divinity from whence it receives wonderful Impressions of Annihilation to be poor abject and despis'd Crucified For after God was made man he inspir'd the Humanity with ardent desires and love of Sufferings for us Men and our Salvation O Jesus when you communicate your self to a Soul she receives impressions from you which incline her to a love of Contempts and Sufferings And when a Soul feels in her self the greatest propension to Sufferings and Self-denyal 't is then she most participates of your communications and has the greatest assurance of them For O good Jesus your Spirit is full of such impressions from the Divinity and the Soul where you reign as King does Infallibly receive the like impressions from your presence In my fourth Prayer I was touch'd with a great desire to leave this Mortal Life so full of Sin and Misery and depriv'd of the Beatifical Vision of God my Saviour Oh how irksom is it not to be in a capacity to contemplate at leasure this Infinite Beauty this Essence full of Infinite Perfections this only true Object of the Loves of Heaven and Earth O when shall I be deliver'd from this Prison of Flesh that I may behold Jesus the Light of my Eyes and Joy of my Heart Must I yet continue longer in this banishment What a cross is it to live here What a punishment is the delay Death how welcom wilt thou be in my embraces We must languish with Love after the Infinite Beauty of Jesus Christ and sigh to enjoy him O my Soul do not amuse thy self with Creatures love the Cross which is the high-way to Happiness Is it possible to believe in Jesus Christ and Love him and to languish with Desires to enjoy Him To stand much in fear of Death is a sign we have little desire to see the Infinite Beauties of God seeing Death only opens the gate of Paradice O Death thou art desirable come and put me in possession of the Object of my Love that I may live with Jesus who is the source of Life and the joy of the Blessed In the interim O my Soul let us have neither Love nor Life nor operation but what is in him and for him our Soveraign Happiness Vivit in me Christus Eighth Day Jesus our Light JEsus was present to me in my first Prayer as the Light of the World which discover'd to me such a Beauty in the Mysteries of our Religion with rayes of a new Light that I saw more then ever the vanity of the World and the strange Sottishness of such men who preferr'd the Darkness of Falsehood before the Light of Truth Insanias falsas The beams of this Light works wonders in a Soul for it leaves such impressions as bring her to know Truth in another manner then by the sole Light of Reason or Faith either If we be in the Closet of some great King in the dark we know well there be excellent pieces there we may know their number bigness and value of the Precious Stones the rareness of the Painting and what else we see not But when once the least light of day appears then we begin to have a view of all their Riches Beauties and Excellencies and the whole order of the Closet salutes our eyes and in admiration thereof we are taken with it in an extraordinary manner When it pleases God to give us a sight of his Divine Beauties discovering them to a Soul by the least Ray of his Heavenly Light then the Soul is wonderfully affected and being more then ever transported with admiration looks upon all things of the World as nothing Faith indeed gives us a certain assurance of her Objects but leaves in obscurity But one sole Ray from the Eyes of Jesus when he is pleas'd to dart it into a Soul doth confirm fortifie encourage and refresh her with Illustrations extraordinary and Soveraign consolations Accedite ad eum illuminamini We cannot approach to Jesus and not be enlightned I came to know in my second Prayer that when Jesus is pleas'd to manifest himself to a Soul he infuses a Light into her which gives her a marvellous Facility to believe the Verities of the Word Incarnate She has a certainty and as it were experience that his Thoughts his Words his Actions his Proceedings his Doctrine his Sufferings were Divine and brought a Soveraign Honour to the Divinity O Science of Jesus how art thou sweet and admirable All other knowledge in respect of thee is but ignorance and vanity I have by the great goodness of God had some little experience to know Jesus in this manner but I cannot express it The more this knowledge increases the less is it explicable The profound attention to Jesus does so take up my Spirit that it takes away my Speech It calls me from all Creatures to converse with him alone and draws me out of my self to be ravish'd with him O World how blind art thou not to see the Beauty of the Poor and abject states of Jesus His Doctrine and his Maxims are the only true Light All that thou hast O ignorant World seduced by the Prince of Darkness is but meer Darkness thy opinions thy imployments thy hopes thy fears thy desires thy entertainments are but Darkness and disorder thou stumblest almost at every step because thou walkest in Darkness out of which thou canst never get but by Jesus Christ For as the Sun is the principle of Corporal Light to the World so Christ the Sun of Righteousness is the source of all Spiritual Light and whom his Grace and Doctrine do not enlighten they wander in Darkness Ego sum Lux mundi qui sequitur me non ambulat in tenebris My third Prayer pass'd in continual astonishment in that I had so little known Jesus Christ and of that extreme blindness wherein I had liv'd At present I had almost a continual sight and a sweet and forceable inclination to regard this admirable Object so that I thought every moment lost which was not so imployed To behold him with amorous affections is a Cure for all my evils For when my Soul is afflicted with fears of loosing Gods favour or with experience of her Miseries or with difficulties about Perfection one
gracious look from Jesus does easily scatter these clouds appease this storm and brings a calm and serenity to my Soul Methinks I see clearly that diffidence in our selves and confidence in Jesus to keep our selves at his feet in Prayer or any other manner near him as Grace shall suggest is an excellent means to Pray well and to receive from the Father of Lights what is necessary to advance us in our way to Perfection We must well observe that what Light and motions we have from Grace do more unite us to God by proficiency in Virtue but Natural Lights and Sentiments do not produce the like effect For example I may see my frailty and weakness by knowledge acquired by experience of the Miseries of this Life I may know the same also by the Light of Grace Grace with knowledge gives me also strength and courage to humble my self to confess my frailty to have recourse to God for his assistance A natural light has not the like effect but leaves a man in his pride and miseries or what is worse in sadness and disconsolations Our blessed Saviour in my fourth Prayer gave me a sight and sentiment of his adorable Person above all expression The eyes of my Soul being fix'd to behold the Beauty the Goodness the Grandeurs and Perfections of that admirable Compositum my Will could not be satisfied with those pleasures and contentments she then received O what great happiness does an enlarged Soul receive when the Veil is a little drawn from these Divine Mysteries Methinks I could have stood beholding this Divine Object all the days of my life I consider'd chiefly that the holy Soul of Jesus was enlightened with the Divinity to know what measures he ought to take during his mortal life to fulfil the Decrees of his eternal Father his wonderful Wisdom in choosing an humble poor and suffering life to instruct us Men and give Us Example and that worldly Wisdom is but meer Folly false and pernicious to her followers In this view of Jesus every thing in him seemed to me charming and admirable not the least glance from his eye or word from his mouth or sigh or tear from him but at present was to me an object of infinite delight and seemed to me sufficient to take up a Soul for ever with contemplation But the contemplation of God must be accompanied with imitation and by the conduct of his Grace we must enter into his states poor abject and suffering 't is in vain to think to attain to perfection any other way The only imitation and conformity to Jesus makes the Soul capable of pure contemplation and contemplation will preserve her in this conformity Ninth Day Jesus Suffering and Dying JEsus in the Idaea of Ecce homo crown'd with Thorns clad with a Purple Robe in derision buffeted mock'd spit upon and scourg'd was the object and subject of my morning Prayer I took great gust though full of compassion to see him in this posture because he himself was never more satisfied in that he could never better satisfie his Father And presently I said O my Jesus you were never thus array'd before now all the Glory of Mount Tabor did not cloath you with such Beauties doubtless the eternal Father takes infinite complacency to behold you in this state for you are a Holocaust all surrounded with dolours and deaths with contempts and annihilations In this entertainment I communicated and receiv'd my Jesus in this state who spoke in this manner to my Soul I come to thee to make thee like my self Thou wilt be never wholly acceptable to me or my Divine Father till thou become like me I then found in my self a great desire to be so and that I might take contentedly all disgraces and losses that any accidents brought upon me as so many advantages to make me like to my Saviour Ecce homo I then remain'd much comforted and fortified and very devout to Jesus in this state In my second Prayer I found my Soul attracted with a wonderful gust to behold Jesus crucified a spectacle pleasing to the eternal Father the comfort of Heaven and the terror of Hell I discover'd a certain way of beauty which cloathed the horrors of Calvary with wonderful comliness O my God! said I what pleasure is it to see the God of Beauty die for man upon a Cross This beauty is not in his visage now all disfigur'd but in the goodness of God which is here all in splendours and in the tryumphs of an incomparable love which sacrificed his most precious life for our Redemption The eternal Father was much delighted with this Beauty The Bruises and Wounds and Blood upon his sacred Head and Face did not make him disfigur'd in my eyes because the beauty of Divine Justice which was thereby infinitely glorified gave him a grace which is unspeakable Speciosus forma prae filiis hominum In this state Jesus appeared to me the most beautiful of men And my heart was so taken with Jesus crucified that I could not but love him in the state of his annihilations The Grace which this view left in my Soul was a particular esteem and love for sufferings I saw nothing more beautiful seeing they were a kind of Ornament to God himself and rendred him an object of singular complacency to his eternal Father Jesus hath sanctified the states of poverty contempt and sufferings through which he passed to make them sources of grace to such Souls as love them for his sake If the holy places where Christ was on Earth are in singular veneration much more ought the states of Jesus Christ If the men of the world think it a great honour to participate of the grandeurs of their Prince how happy and Honourable ought a true Christian to think himself to be if he be partaker of the humiliations of the King of Glory The Crown and Scepter are the glory of a King Poverty Contempts and Sufferings are the glory of a Servant of Jesus Christ In my third Prayer I was pierced with a wonderful feeling at the sight of Jesus suffering and dying on the Cross Being not able to comprehend how the infinite Majesty of a God should condescend so low I said O my Jesus why did you not rather let all men perish for 't is more just beyond comparison that men should be lost being Guilty than you suffer being most Innocent But in this tryumph of your love you have no regard to your self but to satisfie Divine Justice and that Infinite Charity you have for your poor Brethren in their miserable condition Suffer then even the death of the Cross seeing dear Jesus it is your pleasure I consider'd the eternal obligations we have to Jesus Christ in that he died for our Salvation It seem'd to me that hitherto I had been as in darkness in regard to this incomparable benefit Jesus Christ is our true and faithful Friend indeed and yet alas he is neither known nor regarded as
he ought nor lov'd with thankfulness He loves us so as to die for us and we make no reciprocal returns O the prodigious insensibility of men Is then Jesus Christ a stranger to us and not our God and Saviour Does the History of his holy Passion pass with us as a profane or indifferent thing Ought not the bloody Tragedy of Calvary fill all Christian hearts with love and sorrow For my part I could hide my head with shame that I have so little compassion and love for Jesus dying on the Cross for our Salvation O my Jesus I confess my fault in that I have so little known my infinite obligations to you But seeing your Grace discovers now to me more clear than heretofore what you are I will never more lose sight of you I will love nothing more than You and esteem nothing more than to do you honour You are my true Father my true Brother true Friend true King true Redeemer O how great a truth is it that you are all in all unto me O that I have been so long without knowing you aright O Jesus how Happy am I that I have found you O let me never so much loose my self as to forsake you For my fourth Prayer I stood at the Sepulcher of Jesus and seeing his precious Body dead and covered with Wounds I made this Epitaph Here lyes Love Yes yes here lyes Love indeed for his excessive Love to us brought him to this state and condition A state full of horror and wounds Blood and Infamy But a state well pleasing to God as satisfying his Justice for mans Redemption I embraced his precious Body and kiss'd his Sacred Wounds I adored Jesus in this state and said O my Soul we must either cease to Love Jesus or die with him seeing Love equalizes Lovers and makes them alike My Soul then chose to die with Jesus and after many sighs and desires to please her Beloved she died with Jesus never willing more to live a Natural and Humane Life but a Life Divine and Supernatural as that of Jesus And I made for her this Epitaph Here lyes a Soul dead of Love Behold in what consists the death of my Soul 't is to live no longer according to the natural Inclinations but according to the motions of Grace which are the Love of Poverty Contempt and Sufferings While these dispositions live in a Soul she is dead to Sensual desires and lives a Life of Grace a Life Supernatural Therefore for the future I will never hunt after Honours or Pleasures or Riches willingly and by Election but I will either heartily forsake them or if I use them it shall be upon Divine Motives for the good of my Neighbour or for pure necessity seeing That is the Will of God the surest rule of all our Actions Tenth Day Jesus risen from Death and Glorious IN my Morning Prayer I consider'd the Glory of Jesus Christ in the state of his triumphant Resurrection O Jesus how Glorious are you How well does this become you Verily 't was a strange state whither your Love had brought you A state of Misery Shame and Sorrow This was well for us Criminals but in no sort agreeing to you who are Innocence it self For what belongs to you is Majesty and Glory What joy did swell my heart to see Jesus Glorious My Tongue cannot express what my Heart feels This great Feast of the Resurrection is to be celebrated by all Creatures seeing 't is the day wherein Jesus appears as God O Feast of the Glory of Jesus O Feast of the Glory of Mary 'T was a Miracle she did not die of Sorrow at the Death of her Son and 't is another Miracle she did not die of Joy at his Glorious Resurrection O my heart be thou enlarged with Joy for 't is a general rule without exception that the Interest of the Creator is to be preferr'd before all Creatures And therefore O triumphant Jesus I more rejoyce that you are Glorious then that I hope to be Glorified with you Yea though I should never be raised your Glory does ravish me It glads me when I consider that damnation only concerns the Creature for the Interest of Jesus suffers not thereby seeing God is Glorified by the Reprobates as well as by the Saints in Glory 'T is also a certain rule that the Elect O Divine Jesus are Images of you and so necessarily must resemble you in your Sufferings if with you they will be Glorified 'T is a folly to think not to suffer here some way or other more or less seeing the way to Glory is by Sufferings O my Soul be thou united to Jesus Crucified and then thou shalt have part with Jesus Glorified To this end thou must love the Cross and desire of Jesus to die or suffer O World thy way is meer folly and nothing else In my second Prayer I was taken up with these words of Divine Jesus Ought not Christ first to suffer and so to enter into Glory I discover'd how all the Divine Perfections did wonderfully shine forth therein But above all the Wisdom of God doth ravish those hearts which contemplate the works of Grace and Mercy O Divine Wisdom how well is the Oeconomy of your Mysteries order'd to work our Salvation and bring us to Glory Every Mystery which I consider'd did raise a new Fire in my breast to inflame my affections with the Love of Jesus Sometimes they altogether did as with so many arrows pierce my heart and made me languish with Divine Love For seeing my self so Belov'd of good Jesus how could I but Love him again O Infinite Love of Jesus for whom shall I have a heart if not for thee O Love 't is for thee my heart is reserved Thy attracts are powerful enough do not redouble them so sweet and charming 't is enough my heart is for thee O Love except thou wilt have me die do not wound me any more Yet I will die willingly if thou wilt have it so on the Cross of Interiour and Exteriour Suffering that I may be conform to my Loving Saviour My third Prayer was a continuation of the Sentiments of the Love of Jesus I made use of the words of great St. Austin in his Confessions O my Jesus you have wounded my heart with the arrows of your Charity and I have devoted it to your Love Since that you have scatter'd my Darkness and made your self known unto me I have not forgot you Since I had the Happiness to know you I have imprinted you in my memory there I find you and I tast perfect Delights and receive extreme Joy and Contentment when I remember you My Soul feeling Divine Fires within her which did fill her with Pleasures I did sing extempore Canticles to my Beloved and though not methodical yet they better express'd her amorous languishings Though alone in my Chamber I spake of Jesus aloud as if I had had many Auditors to be partakers of my
with me after Communion are 1. Jesus entring into my Mouth vailed with the Sacramental Species I Sacrifice to him all my Being my Faculties and Operations in Homage to his Grandeur And after this Act I remain quite annihilated and passive to Jesus operating towards his Heavenly Father Love Respect and Praise towards my Self Death Annihilation and Alliance with his Divine Life 2. A second Disposition after the Holy Communion is that Jesus entring into me presently operates a streight Vnion At that time I have no sight of any that may annihilate me only at first he unites me to the state of his Humanity in its Poverty and Abjections the Contempt Labours and Sufferings of his Mortal Life and being hereby purified next he draws me to a Vnion with the state of his Divinity that is to say to render to his Eternal Father Love Praises and complacency in his Grandeurs 3. Another time after Holy Communion these great words of our Lord presented themselves to my mind to serve for my Entertainment Rogo Pater ut sint consummati in unum Father I beseech you that they may be consummated in one They disclose to me a little of that perfect Vnity or consummated Vnion that ought to be contracted between Jesus and us His Love requiring that our Souls should be confirmed in that Vnion by the frequent use of the Holy Communion and that they act continually according to the conditions of this Alliance from whence they fall by the least Infidelity and very much offend God who sees himself neglected and as it were contemned and post-poned to Creatures after he has called them to so perfect a Vnion and come expresly to work it in them Wherefore a perfect Vnion requires that our heart be united the most continually that possibly it can and that it tend incessantly to a Vnity of Love with Jesus Christ to a Vnity of Instinct of Inclinations of Desires and to a great conformity with the condition of his Mortal Life which is that whereby we are to walk during our present Life if we desire to arrive to the enjoyment of his Divine Life 4. Sometimes after Communicating I have had this representation in my mind that Jesus giving himself to me seemed to speak to me but without any kind of words For the sole manifestation of his Love imparted to the Soul is in lieu of speaking and the Soul answers by Acquiescence and Admiration that cannot be expressed In effect the Soul in this state does not understand any Interiour words after the manner that Mystique Divines explain them in their Writings But the lively and clear representation that is made to her of the state of Jesus in each Mystery without any thing else serves her for Discourse While she is in this condition it seems to her that Jesus says Hear Daughter and see and forget your People and the House of your Father to enter into an imitation of me To which words the Soul makes answer by acquiessing and without any noise in her Interiour she signifies her acceptance by a most efficatious consent She hears by seeing and Jesus speaks by manifesting himself Another while at the Communion I had a general view of the multitude of the great wonders that Jesus operates in these Mysteries of Faith in favour of Men with whom he takes his Delight This general view raised me to a high admiration which nevertheless terminated in a sense of a most profound acknowledgment of the Goodness of God seeing that all these wonders tend to no other end than to manifest unto us the intenseness of the Love he bears us and import that he expects Love for Love That is your only design my good Jesu in bestowing on me this Divine Food to bestow on me the Life of your Love but this Life may very well cause my Death O Love Love Love was all that I could then say being struck dumb with admiration CHAP. VI. Another Method of Thanksgiving after Communion I Find a great gust in the understanding of these words Fortis est ut mors dilectio Love is strong as Death Methinks I see them practically verified in the Holy Communion where I see that Love has reduced Jesus to the state of Death and of a Sacrifice immolated as Death reduced him upon Mount Calvary I consider that while his Love severs him from the Splendours of his Glory to unite himself to me it excites me at the same time to separate my self from Creatures from my Self and from all other things thereby to unite my self to him alone My Soul thoroughly penetrated with a desire to correspond with this design of her Beloved Jesus and clearly discerning that the love of Crosses and Contempt is necessary to dispose and prepare her for this great Favour she looks on them with affection and delight as so many Springs whence flows her Happiness Another wonder which sometimes my mind has been intent upon and received great Comfort from it is the Infinite desire that God has to Communicate himself and to lift us up to a full participation of his Divinity This view well penetrated into discovers so many wonders of the Love of God towards Men of the Felicities to which they are destined after the Miseries of this World of the Dignity of their Creation since the end for which they were made is to possess God of the Infinite desire God has to unite himself to them and of the perfect corresponding and complyance they are from thence oblig'd to especially such Souls as are chosen and in a particular manner called to this state that after all this it is scarce possible to resist such cogent impulses and attractives of God They make one desire to die to all things the better to prepare for so great a work of Love the hurries and business of the World is not to be any longer endured and one becomes passionately in Love with Solitude My Soul reflect diligently upon the Grace is given thee and correspond to the Love of God towards thee which thou art now so thoroughly acquainted with Thou hast no other business but this for thou must never betake thy self to any other imployment unless thou receive express orders from God for it The more one is estranged from Creatures the better a Soul is disposed to this Divine Union wherefore Disgraces ought to be our Felicity because they are the means to obtain it The Cross Purity of Love Union God alone These are the degrees that Grace leads us through and our Fidelity calls us to There is also another good method of giving Thanks after Communion which consists in abandoning and resigning our selves absolutely and without reserve to the power and dependance of Jesus Christ who coming into our hearts ought to be master there and command as Soveraign When it pleases him to continue with a Soul to entertain her and to unite her to him by a most delightful feeling of his presence we must not think that
Comformity to all his States This Divine Light discovered to me a great many Verities very important for my direction and conduct 1. That we are never to be without Sufferings For the Spirit of Christianity is the Spirit of the Cross The Grace that feeds and supports it is the Fruit of the Cross and the adorable Bread so full of Delights inspires no other Sentiments then those of the Cross Venite mittamus lignum in Panem ejus 2. That as Jesus manifests the Purity of the Love he bears us by dying for us upon the Cross so ought we to prove the Sincerity of ours by nailing it to the Cross 3 That he worked our Salvation by the only means of Suffering Therefore it is a manifest deceit to hope that we can co-operate towards our Salvation by any other means than that of Suffering 4. That we must attend and harken very diligently to the Spirit of Jesus within us which of it self sometimes furnisheth us with Crosses of Providence or else inspires us to seek them of our selves We must embrace them all cheerfully or search them amorously 5. That no other Soul but what is in Love with Crosses can tast the ways of the Spirit and its Heavenly Sweetness For God who mixes the Pleasures of Worldlings with wormwood and Gall does often sweeten our Sufferings after an admirable manner Moreover I was taught in the Holy Communion that Jesus is a Sun which was Eclipsed during this transitory Life but now shines in Heaven full of Lustre and Glory And according to the measure Souls partake of his Eclipse and Darkness they shall proportionably share of his Splendours in Glory Why then flee we Poverty Contempt and the Cross For that which Eclipseth a Soul with Jesus Christ is the Seed of an Immense Glory in Heaven What is the reason that we see nothing but Crosses in Churches All the Altars are adorned with the Cross the Priest going to Celebrate weares the Cross in his Vestments while he is saying Mass while he is saying Mass he makes a great many Signs of the Cross when he is about to Communicate to us he first gives us his Benediction with the Sign of the Cross even the last Action he does holding the Blessed Sacrament in his Hand and ready to present it to us is forming the Sign of the Cross with the Sacred Host We are told also that in Antient times when Christians received it in their Hands they placed them in form of a Cross laying the Right Hand a Cross over the Left What can we learn from all this but that the Christian who Communicates ought to be Crucified and that as he receives his God among Crosses so he should take delight in passing his Life amongst Sufferings My Soul when shall I begin the practice of a Life wholly Crucified a throughly Christian and Supernatural Life When shall I love Poverty Contempt Affronts Injuries O my God that I might begin this very day to serve you and trample upon all the Sentiments of Nature which ought to be continually upon the Cross And therefore I ought not to be troubled at such things as impoverish and ruine me The more poor the more dead one is to the World I ought even exteriourly if People would believe me to live poorly and become vile and contemptible in the eyes of men following the example of Jesus Christ who lived thirty years in a Shop like a Servant Therefore it is my Duty to tend contrary to all that which the World with its Wisdom of the Flesh esteemeth And that suddenly for I am already grown Old and have not yet begun In becoming wretched according to the opinion of the World I shall answer the Grace of my Vocation who am called to Poverty and a Solitary Life I shall obtain Peace and become a man of Prayer Assist me with your Powerful Graces O Jesus and grant me Perseverance Let us follow Jesus O my Soul He from the very first instant of his Life walked like a Gyant in the ways of Humiliations and Sufferings the ways that his Father appointed him All his concern was to co-operate with his Fathers Eternal purposes which regarded himself Let us walk couragiously in the rough and Holy Paths which Jesus has traced out Let us not fear our Natural Weakness since he did not fear his Humanity but shew'd himself obedient even to Death and to the Death of the Cross Let us count every thing Folly that is contrary to this Wisdom and let us quit one for all every thing else to follow none but him CHAP. IX The second Effect of Communion is to Transform us THe following consideration after Communion entertained me long and continued a whole Morning That the principal Effect of Communion is to produce in us an intimate Union with Jesus This Union is a perfect Assimulation to his States and Mysteries And this Assimulation is the same thing which they call a Transformation into God and renders a person wholly Divine and devoted to the Interests of God insomuch that by Grace he becomes Divine as having no other Inclinations then those of God living by the Life of God and desiring nothing but the Love and Glory of God In this sight which appeared to me very clear I beheld the lowness and imperfections of such Sentiments and Actions as are meerly Natural I wondered at the blindness of men who set such a value upon an operation of Nature though it be of it self so infinitely vile and contemptible It seems they never understood the importance of advancing towards Perfection with all their sorce nor the miserable condition of an imperfect Soul This Light wonderfully separated me from Imperfection and I am now as full of Horror of it as I was formerly full of Sin It seemed to me that Jesus who so prodigiously debaseth himself in the Blessed Sacrament by a Miracle of Love of Mercy and of incomparable bounty did thus excite me to rise from Nature to Grace and and from a Humane to a Super-natural Life Towards which I felt in my self such strong Inclinations and such powerful Obligations by my frequent Communions that I had rather have died than have passed one moment of my Life in the state of Nature We ought to tend incessantly to the Purity of Jesus and if to enter into it more readily and more perfectly one must quit Honours Goods and Friends let us quit them my Soul and take in their places Poverty Contempts and Pains The Purity of Virtue charms me and animates me to pursue it I do not find any Creatures that I do not willingly abandon nor any difficulty that I do not easily conquer O my God separate me by your Holy Grace from every thing which hinders this Divine Transformation and grant that I may cease to be what I am according to Nature that I may become what you are by the power of Grace When shall I be wholly united and transformed into you When shall
elevate his Heart by frequent Prayer to God and Contemplation of his Divine Perfections or that dissipates his Spirit abroad by the impulses of Nature engaging himself in Temporal Affairs without being called thereto by the Inspiration and guidance of Grace though something of zeal appear in the thing and as one thinks a good intention I say this Interiour Fire in such a Person is to be compared to these Meteors or Lambent Fires which are carried about with every motion of the Air and shine but do not burn CHAP. XII The fifth Effect of Communion is to give Strength and Perseverance in the Service of God ONe day as I entred into a Church I heard them sing these words in Honour of the Blessed Sacrament Ambulavit in fortitudine cibi illius usque ad montem Dei He walked in the strength of this Bread even to the Mount of God These words affected me and made me Hope that notwithstanding my Miseries and continual weakness I might be so strengthned by receiving this Divine Bread that at last I might arrive to the Mount of God might raise my self above the low inclinations of Nature and mount to the participation of the Spirit of Jesus and Perfection of a Super-natural Life which Life is a high Mountain which no body can climb by the meer strength of Nature I observed before that the peculiar intention of Jesus in Instituting the Holy Sacrament was to give us a foundation to Life and Strength and for that reason 't is the only Sacrament that is given in the form of Nourishment The rest are prescribed by way of Remedy to purge the Soul from Sin or conferr'd by Ceremony of Cousecration to dedicate the Person to the peculiar Duties of Religion and Holy Things and so others respectively But this is the only one given by way of Heavenly nurture to enable us to live by the Life of Grace a perpetual Life over which the death of Sin has no power For Jesus Christ among other effects of this Divine Food assures us that it bestows Eternal Life Qui manducat hunc panem vivet in aeternum And it seems very reasonable and conform to the Infinite Goodness of God that the most excellent of Sacraments should confer the most excellent of Graces which is that of Perseverance A Grace so Sublime so Divine so precious that we cannot merit it by any or all the good Actions we can do But how rare and how noble soever it be we have much subject to hope that the Father of Mercies and God of all Consolations will grant us it since he has already enriched us with that which is Infinitely more than this Grace the Prefence of his only Son in the Blessed Sacrament Corporal Nutriment is Elementary and Material and therefore no better than Corruption Yet if the Body could take it always in a just proportion and were perfectly well disposed to draw the strength it affords it would continue our Natural Life and we should never die How much more would the Heavenly Bread the Living Bread which contains in it self the ever-flowing sources of Life confer a perpetuity and infectibility of Spiritual Life by Grace if the Soul duly used and were disposed to receive the abundance of Graces Virtues and Super-natural strength that this adorable Food brings with it When we Communicate we drink of the same Fountain the Blessed do in Heaven But to them it is the Water of Life Everlasting and what else can it be to us but that of the Life of never failing Grace which is the pledge and assurance of the Eternity of Glory O my Soul dost thou think that any of the Blessed in Heaven after they have tasted the Delights of that Torrent of Pleasures can be oloy'd with them or be contented to be deprived of that Divine and Happy Life How then canst thou be so unconstant and irresolute in the way of Grace and unfaithful in the Union thou hast contracted with God who hast drank the Waters of Joy from the same Fountains of thy Saviour When he presents himself really and in Person and demands to be admitted into thy Heart say not to him as St. Peter did Retire from me O Lord But breath out the Sentiments of perfect Love saying with the Spouse Tenui eum nec dimittam I will never abandon him O what a pleasant Society how profound a Peace does the enjoyment of the Soveraign Good bring to the Soul But both imperfect till they are finished in Heaven The fullest possession thereof she can acquire on Earth serves only to inflame her thirst more the more she tasts God the more she desires him and since there is no possibility of satisfying her desire in this Life she suffers a continual Martyrdom that makes her both die and live together Her pain is full of sweetness and that sweetness begets a languishing and longing after her Beloved She is disgusted with all created things and forceably drawn off from them Nothing pleaseth her in this condition but that which augments her flame She cannot read with satisfaction unless there be some mention of her Beloved All Conversation and Discourse are burthen some and tedious unless the subject be his Love My God you see the bottom of my Heart I conceive things that I cannot utter 'T is true I suffer but I would not but suffer I can do nothing but aspire to a fuller possession of your Infinite Goodness 'T is very much that you vouchsafe to give your self unto me in the adorable Sacrament with such an immense Love but still you give me only a hidden Treasure I possess you indeed but do not enjoy you to my hearts desire I am in the condition of Holy Simeon who held you in his Arms in the Temple and yet dyed with a desire to see you It is time O Lord now permit my Soul to depart in Peace and quit this Mortal Life because I receive within me the Spring and Source of Immortality I know for certain that in Paradice I shall obtain the perfect accomplishment of all my Desires yet I do not desire it till it be your good will and Pleasure Your Love makes me press forward and tend incessantly to the Beatifical Union but 't is your Love too that stops my course that draws me back inspiring me with the highest indifference and absolute dependance on your Divine Will O Jesus how admirable is your Providence you open my eyes to see the comfortable and Blessed sight of the Power and Purity of Love which ought to possess the Soul that has the Happiness to receive you often in the Holy Communion I relinquish and resign my self more than ever into your Divine Hands guide me as it shall best please you There is nothing left to ask you more since you have unasked bestowed your self upon me and crowned me with Mercies even beyond all my Hopes My business is to remain annihilated in your presence and quietly receive your Divine
nothing as if I had been able to bestow much on pious uses The love of Jesus poor and despised did deeply pierce my heart and to satisfie my self therein I made them bring to me a poor Infant in whom methought I saw the Poverty of little Jesus and kissing his Hand I rendred what homage I could desiring to love poor Jesus to my last breath I acknowledge dear Jesus that I am very unworthy of your Divine states But alas must I die without entring effectually into the Poverty and Abjection of your Mortal Life At least O good Jesus I die with that Love and Respect I ought to have for them and be pleas'd to accept of that Conformity I desire to have for them I remember that Praying on Sunday in the Evening the day before I fell Sick at the Carmes Church where I was at Vespers our Blessed Saviour put these words into my mind Christo confixus sum Cruci I am fastned to Christ on the Cross Whereupon I felt an ardent desire to have not one moment of my Life without being able to say I am Crucified with Jesus Christ I think this Divine Love did then dispose me to be nailed on the Cross And in effect my Sickness beginning with a grievous Head-ach which made my eyes to be swoln with pain it came into my mind that I might on this occasion Honour the crowning of our Saviour with Thorns And it was some Contentment to me to have any conformity to this dolorous state of Jesus And as my pain did extend to all parts of my Body I imagin'd it had some little resemblance to the state of a Body Crucified Thus you have an account of my dispositions in this Sickness which I have done in obedience to the command imposed on me Perhaps they are explicated with too much advantage but the relation is true as to the substance Bless therefore with me the God of Mercies who has been pleas'd to be so bountiful to his most ungrateful Creature but it be-seem'd his Goodness to glorifie his Mercies by the greatness of my Miseries This then is my comfort and I cannot but declare his bounties to me and say Venite videte omnes qui timetis Deum quanta fecit Dominus animae meae Come all ye that fear God and see what great things he hath done for my Soul CHAP. VII Other Dispositions in the time of Sickness where both Body and Soul are on the Cross I Began to go out of that state wherein I had been more than five Weeks My corruptible Body did bring down the Soul as it were to nothing so that I had much ado either to know or love God of whom methought my Soul had little or no remembrance Seeing my self in this state of Incapacity I remain'd without any other prospect but of my own nothing and depth of my Miseries being amazed at the strange weakness of a Soul when left to her self This thought which wholly took up my Soul proceeded from a certain experience rather than any Light in the understanding 'Till God brought my Soul to this point she did not well know her own weakness but now she discover'd a thousand false Opinions and vain esteems she had of her self of her Lights Sentiments and Devotions She saw now she had some secret relyance on something besides God which she did not perceive till this state of privation What thus passed in me were the effects of a Natural Malady which nevertheless brought me to nothing and much humbled me For I was in so great a forgetfulness of God that you may be astonish'd at it and I would have hardly believ'd that a Soul having received so many sensible testimonies of the Love of God could ever have so long a privation of actual Love by reason of her former negligence and Infidelity What vast difference is there between my former and this Sickness In that my Soul was all inflamed with Divine Love luminous vigorous far above any disturbance from the Body In this she was cold and dark yea darkness it self feeble infirm depress'd and over-burden'd with mortal flesh We discover our Nothing and Frailties in Prayer but the Lights and Gusts that we receive therein hinder us from being sensible of them what makes us feel them to the quick must be some extraordinary affliction It seem'd to me that nothing was then prevalent in me but Sentiments of Impatience and inclinations to Peevishness but by the Grace of God I did not always consent to them though they often molested me I was somewhat encouraged by the Relation of the Happy Death of two Fathers of the Society who ended their days in the exercises of Charity after they had assisted the Souldiers many years attending them in their Maladies and dolorous Necessities to help them to live well and die Happily At last they died of the Plague and desiring passionately to suffer one of them gave great Stroaks with his Fist upon his Soar to endure something more for Jesu Christ whom they both lov'd with most ardent Affections 'T is said our Blessed Saviour appear'd to them at the point of Death to Crown them and make them Happy with his Presence after which they died Smiling full of Joy and Consolations This did much comfort me extremely rejoycing at their Happiness in that they died in the Service of the Hospital for Souldiers after they had continually endanger'd their Lives by exposing them to the Mouths of Musquets and Canons and a thousand Incommodities of Soul and Body by the cares and solicitudes incumbent on them O how glorious was their Death O the amiable Sufferings that brought them to it What are my little Sufferings in comparison of these What a shame is it for me to feel so much repugnance to endure them Alas I consider that there 's not a day in the year wherein the Church does not make particular Commemoration of many Martyrs who have had the zeal and courage to give up their Lives for Jesus Christ who died for them that they might Honour his Sufferings by the Torments they endured for his sake Some have been expos'd to be devour'd by Beasts others broke upon the Wheel others burned Alive others nailed to Crosses and all have been Miraculous by embracing with joy and cheerfulness the cruellest of Deaths that most barbarous Tyrants could invent to make them miserable O good Jesus I see all these go by the way of the Cross to come to the Perfection of Divine Love and I stay behind as one abandon'd and unworthy to suffer for you What can I then do O blessed Saviour For you have said That he who will not take up his Cross to follow you is not worthy to be your Disciple O Love Crucifie me Burn me Martyr me Si non per Martyrium carnis saltem per incendium cordis If not by Sacrificing my Body yet by Sacrificing my Heart And let my affectionate desire to suffer make my Life and