thy fire And albeit I would disswade thee from more inuectiues against 〈◊〉 thy aduersaries for peace is nowe all my plea yet I know thou wilt returne answere that since thou receiuedst the first wrong thou wilt not endure the last My quiet Ghost vnquietly disturbed had once intended thus to haue exclaimd Pierce more witlesse than pennilesse more idle than thine aduersaries ill imployde what foolish innocence hath made thee infant like resistlesse to beare what euer iniurie Enuie can impose Oâ—ce thou commendedst immediate conceit and gauest no great praise to excellent works of twelue yeres labour now in the blooming of thy hopes thou sufferest slaunder to nippe them ere they can bud thereby approuing thy selfe to be of all other most slacke beeing in thine owne cause so remisse Colour can there be none found to shadowe thy fainting but the longer thou deferst the more greefe thou bringst to thy frends and giuest the greater head to thy enemies What canst thou tell if as my selfe thou shalt bee with death preuented and then how can it be but thou diest disgrac'd seeing thou hast made no reply to their twofold Edition of Inuectiues It may bee thou thinkst they will deale well with thee in death and so thy shame in tollerating them will be short forge not to thy self one such conceit but make me thy president and remember this olde adage Leonem mortuum mordent Catuli Awake secure boy reuenge thy wrongs remember mine thy aduersaries began the abuse they continue it if thou suffer it let thy life be short in silence and obscuritie and thy death hastie hated and miserable All this had I intended to write but now I wil not giue way to wrath but returne it vnto the earth from whence I tooke it for with happie soules it hath no harbour Robert Greene. Had not my name beene Kind-hart I would haue sworne this had beene sent to my selfe for in my life I was not more pennilesse than at that instant But remembring the Author of the Supplication I laid it aside till I had leysure to seeke him and taking vp the next I found written To all maligners of honest mirth Tarleton wisheth continuall melancholy NOw Maisters what say you to a merrie knaue that for this two years day hath not beene talkt of Wil you giue him leaue if he can to make ye laugh What all a mort No merry countenance Nay then I see hypocrisie hath the vpper hand and her spirit raignes in this profitable generation Sith it is thus Ile be a time-pleaser Fie vppon following plaies the expence is wondrous vpon players speeches their wordes are full of wyles vppon their gestures that are altogether wanton Is it not lamentable that a man should spende his two pence on them in an after-noone heare couetousnes amongst them daily quipt at being one of the commonest occupations in the countrey and in liuely gesture see trecherie set out with which euery man now adaies vseth to intrap his brother Byr lady this would be lookt into if these be the fruites of playing tis time the practisers were expeld Expeld quoth you that hath been pretily performd to the no smal profit of the Bouling-allyes in Bedlam and other places that were wont in the after-noones to be left empty by the recourse of good fellows vnto that vnprofitable recreation of Stage-playing And it were 〈◊〉 much amisse would they ioine with the Dicing houses to make sute againe for their longer restraint though the sicknesse cease Is not this well saide my maisters of an olde buttond cappe that hath most part of his life liu'd vppon that against which hee inueighs Yes and worthily But I haue more to say than this Is it not greate shame that the houses of retaylers neare the Townes end should be by their continuance impouerished Alas good hearts they pay great rentes and pittie it is but they be prouided for While Playes are vsde halfe the day is by most youthes that haue libertie spent vppon them or at least the greatest company drawne to the places where they frequent If they were supprest the flocke of yoong people would bee equally parted But now the greatest trade is brought into one street Is it not as faire a way to Myle-end by White-chappell as by Shorditch to Hackney the Sunne shineth as clearly in the one place as in the other the shades are of a like pleasure onely this is the fault that by ouermuch heat sometime they are in both places infectious As well in this as other things there is great abuse for in euery house where the venerian virgins are resident hospitalitie is quite exiled such fines such taxes such tribute such customs as poore soules after seuen yeares seruice in that vnhallowed order they are faine to leaue their sutes for offerings to the olde Lenos that are shrine-keepers and themselues when they begin to break are faine to seeke harbour in an Hospitall which chaunceth not as sometime is thought to one amongst twentie but hardly one amongst a hundred haue better ending And therefore seeing they liue so hardly its pitie Players should hinder their takings a peny I marry saies Baudeamus my quondam Host well faire olde Dicke that worde was well plac'd for thou knowst our rentes are so vnreasonable that except wee cut and shaue and poule and prig we must return Non est inuentus at the quarter day For is not this pittifull I am a man now as other men be and haue liâ—'d in some shire of England till all the Country was wearie of mee I come vp to London and fall to be some Capster Hostler or Chamberlaine in an Inne Well I get mee a wife with her a little money when we are married seeke a house we must no other occupation haue I but to be an Ale-â—raper the Landlord wil haue fortie pound fine and twenty marke a yeare I and mine must not lie in the street he knows by honest courses I can neuer paye the Rent What should I say somwhat must be done rent must be paid duties dischargd or we vndone To bee short what must be shall be indeede sometimes I haue my Landlordes countenance before a Justice to cast a cloaâ—e â—uer illrule or els hee might seeke such another tenant to pay his rent so truly Quaintly concluded Peter Pandar somewhat yee must bee and a bawd ye will bee I by my troth sir why not I as well as my neighbors since theres no remedy And you sir find fault with plaies Out vpon them they spoile our tâ—ade as you your selfe haue proued Beside they open our crosse-biting our coâ—y-catching our traines our traps our gins our snares our subtilties for no sooner haue we a tricke of deceipt but they make it common singing Iigs and making â—easts of vs that euerie boy can point out our houses as they passe by Whither now Tarlton this is extempore out of time tune and temper It may be well said to me Stulte quid haec
that much reading and long practise in euery Art makes men expert Per Contrarium I conclude you that haue neither read nor practised must needs â—e egregiously ignorant Assure your selues if you refraine not iustice will stand vppe and so restraine yee as there shall be nothing more noted than your ignorant practises and impudent courses In my life I was your aduersary in death I am your enimie Beseeching the reuerend Colledge of learned Doctors and worshipfull company of experienst Chirurgions to looke more straightly to your false deceites and close haunts that there may be sooner heard talke of such a rare obscure assuranceâ— to worke what not wonders in Phisicke or Chirurgirie but he be rather lookt into or euer he begin than suffred to begin whereby any poore patient should suffer losse in triall of their blind skill so shall your cousenages be as open as your Actes be odious Subscribed Burcot This is somewhat like thought I if he had said any thing against cousoning toothe drawers that from place to place wander with banners full of horse teeth to the imparing of Kindharts occupation but I perceiue maister Doctor was neuer a tooth drawer if he had I know he would haue toutcht their 〈◊〉 Since he hath let â—hem passe I greatly passe not and yet in regard of the credit of my trade I care noâ— to haue a blow or two with them my â—elfe before I looke any further Sundry of them that so wander haue not to do with the means Kindhart vseth but forsooth by charmes they can at their pleasure fray away the payne which Kind-hart counts little better than witch craft if it could doe good and so to some of them haue I affirmed it But a proper slip-string some time a potty scâ—le-marster now a pelting tooth charmer hauing â—o reason to desend his obscure rules quite put me to silence before a well learned audience the one a cobler the other a carman 〈◊〉 last a collyer These beeing poore men had I for pittie often eased of their payne yet was the remedy I vsde somewhat painefull but not long since they are come acquainted with the charmer I told ye of he in charitable consideration of their greefe promised to ease them onely with writing and after burning a word or two Traâ—elling to a Gentlemans not farre from London I by the way chaunst to be cald to conferre with him at the same verye instant where reproouing his opinion hee put me downe with such a galliemafrey of larine ends that I was glad to make an end Yet got I a copy of his charme which I will set downe that I may make it common A Charme Frst he must know your name then your age which in a little paper he sets downe on the top are these words In verbis et in herbis et in lapididus sunt virtutes vnderneath he writes in capitall letters A AB ILLA HVRS GIBELLA which he sweres is pure Chalde and the names of thrée spirites that enter into the bloud and cause rewmes so consequently the tootheach This paper must be likewise three times blest and at last with a little frankincense burned which being thrice vsed is of power to expell the spirites purifie the bloud and ease the paine or else he lyes for he hath practised it long but shall approue it neuer Another sort get hot wiers and with them they burne out the worme that so torments the greeued these fellowes are fit to visit curst wiues and might by their practise doe a number of honest men ease if they would misse the tooth and worme the tongue Others there are that perswade the pained to hold their mouths open ouer a basen of water by the fire side and to cast into the fire a handfull of henbane seede the which naturally hath in euery seede a little worme the seedes breaking in the sire vse a kind of cracking and out of them it is hard among so many if no worme fly into the water which wormes the deceiuers affirme to haue fallen from the teeth of the diseased This rare secret is much vsed and not smally lyked Sundry other could I set downe practised by our banner-bearers but all is foppery for this I find to be the only remedy for the tooth paine either to haue patience or to pull them out Well no more for mee least I bee thought to speake too largly for my selfe I had thought to haue had a fling at the rat-catchers who with their banners displayed beare no small sway what I haue to saye to them they shall not yet heare because I hope they will take warning by other mens harmes Onely this I affirme that as some banner-bearers haue in their occupations much craft the rat-catchers is nothing else but craft But stay Kind-hart if thou make so long a 〈◊〉 betweene euery act thy iests will be as stale as thy wit is weake Therefore leauing those vagabonds to repent their villanyes Ile bid adieâ— to maister Doctor and sée who is our next speaker Robert Greene to Pierce Pennilesse PIerce if thy Carrier had beene as kinde to me as I expected I could haue dispatched long since my letters to thee but it is here as in the world Donum à dando deriuatur where there is nothing to giue there is nothing to be got But hauing now found meanes to send to thee I will certiâ—e thee a little of my disquiet after death of which I thinke thou either hast not heard or wilt not conceiue Hauing with humble penitence be sought pardon for my infinite sinnes and paid the due to death euen in my graue was I scarse layde when Enuie no fit companion for Art spit out her poyson to disturbe my rest Aduersus mortuos bellum suscipere inhumanum est There is no glory gained by breaking a deade mans skull Pascitur in viuis liuor post fata quiescit Yet it appeares contrary in some that inueighing against my workes my pouertie my life my death my burial haue omitted nothing that may seeme malitious For my Bookes of what kind soeuer I refer their commendation or dispraise to those that haue read them Onely for my last labours affirming my intent was to reproue vice and lay open such villanies as had beene very necessary to be made knowne wherof my Blacke Booke if euer it see light can sufficiently witnesse But for my pouertie mee thinkes wisedome would haue brideleâ— that inuectiue for Cuiuis potest accidere quod cuiquam potest The beginaing of my dispraisers is knowne of their end they are not sure For my life it was to none of them at any time hurtful for my death it was repentant my buriall like a Christians Alas that men so hastily should run To write their own dispraise as they haue done For my reuenge it suffices that euery halfe-eyd humanitian may account it Instar belluarum immanissimarum seuire in cadauer For the iniurie offred thee I know I need not bring oyle to
a Landlady I warraâ—t ye this Usurie is within the Statute it is not aboue fiue hundred for the loane of a hundred by the yeare Neyther will they doe this good to their tenaâ—tes alone but they will deale with their husbandes that for a little roome with a smoakie chimney or perchaunce none because smoake is noysome they shall pay at the least but fortie shillings yeerly Fie vpon fines thats the vndooing of poore people weele take none say these good creatures marry for the key wee must haue consideration that is some Angell in hand for verely the last tenant made vs change the locke neither thinke we deale hardly for it stands in a good place quite out of company where handicraft men may haue leysure to get their liuing if they knew on what to set themselues a worke Now for all this kindnesse the Land-lord scarce asketh of the tenant thankes though hee deserue it well for as I saide his Wife is all the dealer so plaies the Parsâ—n the person I should say I would bee loath to be mistaken that I tolde yee before builded the Alnteshouse The care of rentes is committed to his Wife he is no man of this world but as one metamorphizd from a Saint to a Deuill How now Kindhart shall we neuer haue done with these Landlordes It seemes well thou hast as little land as witte for while thou liuest they wil not mend and therefore its as good to make an ende as waste winde Well all this was of good will to helpe Tarleton out with his tale Now let me see what note Cuckoe sings for tis his lucke to be last William Cuckoe to all close Iuglers wisheth the discouery of their crafts â—nd punishment for their knaueries ROome for a craftie knaue cries William Cuckoe Knaue nay it will neare hande beare an action Bones a mee my trickes are stale and all my old companions turnd into Ciuill sutes I perceiue the worlde is all honestie if it be no other than it lookes Let me see if I can see beleeue mee theres nothing but iugling in euery corner for euery man hath learnd the mysterie of casting mysts though they vse not our olde â—earms of hey-passe re-passe and come aloft yet they can bypasse compasse and bring vnder one another as cunningly and commonly as euer poore Cuckoe coulde command his Iacke in a Boxe Yet my maisters though you robde me of my trade to giue recompence after death I haue borrowed a tongue a little to touch their tricks And now sir to you that was wont like a Subsister in a gown of rugge rent on the left shoulder to sit singing the Counter-tenor by the Cage in Southwarke me thinks ye should not looke so coyly on olde Cuckoe What man it is not your signe of the Ape and the Uriâ—all canâ—arry away our olde acquaintance I trust yee remember your iugling at Newington with a Christall stone your knaueries in the wood by Wansteed the wondrous treasure you would discouer in the Ile of Wight al your villanies about that peece of seruice as perfecty known to some oâ— my friends yet liuing as their Pater noster who curse the time you euer came in their Creed But I perceiue you fare as the Fox the more â—and the better hap I wonder what became of your familiar I meane no Deuill man but a man Deuil and yet I need not wonder for since my descending to vnder earth I heard say he was hangd for his knauerie as you in good time may be Amen Amend I should say but I thinke yee me ane it not the matter is not great for thanks be to God how euer you mend in manners the world is wel amended with your man and you I pray ye was that hee which was your instrument in Notingam-shire to make your name so famous for finding things lost It may be you forgot that one fetch among many and least it should bee out of your heade Ile helpe to beate it into your braines YOur Maship vpon a horse whose hire is not paid for with your Page at your stirrop like a Castilian Caualier lighted pennilesse at a pretie Inne where that day sate certain Iustices in CoÌ„mission Your high hart carelesse of your present neede would needes for youâ— selfe share out one of the fairest chambers Your Page must be purueyer for your diet who in the kitchin found nothing for your liking Beefe was grosse veale flashy mutton fulsome rabbets hens capons common Wild foule for Will foole or he will fast Well at your will ye shall be furnisht But now a Iugling tricke to pay the shot My Impe your man while mistrisse men and maids were busied about prouision for the Iustices that sate slips into a priuate parlour wherein stood good store of plate and conueying a maâ—sy sault vnder his Capouch litâ—le lesse woorth than twentie marke got secretely to the back-side and cast it into a filthie pond which done he acquaints your knaueship with the deed By then your diet was drest the sault was mist the good Wife cryde out the maydes were ready to runne madde Your man making the matter strange inquird the cause which when they tolde O quoth hee that my maister would dâ—ale in the matter I am sure he can do as much as any in the world Well to you they come pitifully complaining when very wrathfully your choler rising you demaund reason why they should thinke yee bee able to deale in such cases Your kind nature bent alwayes to lenitie yeelded at the last to their importuning onely wisht them to stay till the nexte day for that you would not deale while the Iustices were in the house They must do as your discretion appoints next day calling the good-man and wife to your bed-side ye tell them the salâ—e was stolne by one of their familiars whom he had forced by Art to bring it backe againe to the house and in such a pond to cast it because he would not haue the partie knowne for feare of trouble â—s you direct them they search and find then comes your â—ame in rare admiration the Host giues you foure Angels for a reward the Hostesse two French crowns the maydes are double diligent to doe you seruice that they may learne their fortunes the whole towne talks of the cunning man that indeed had onely connycatâ—ht â—is 〈◊〉 If that slip-string bee still in your feruice I aduise you make much of him for by that tricke he prou'd himselfe a toward youth necessary for such a maister This iugling passes Cuckoes play Well I aduise you play least in sight in London for I haue sette some to watch for your comming that will iustiste all this and more of your shifting life Returne to your olde craft and play the Pinner although it be a poore life it is an honest life your fallacies will one day faile ye There is another Iugler that beeing well skild in the Iewes Trumpe takes vpon him to