witnesse David Psal 32. 3 4. Hezekiah Ezek. 38. 13 14. and holy Iob in his whole History and Christ himselfe suffering this wound without sin in his humane spirit cried out under its burden My God my God why hast thou forsaken me and it cannot Reasons prooving the burden of a wounded conscience are seaven be otherwise if we consider these reasons First a wounded spirit is a burden unto it selfe why hast thou set me as a marke against thee so that I am a burden unto my selfe saith Iob 7. 20. Now all wounds and burdens that are extrinsecall a mans spirit can beare but that which lieth within it selfe it cannot you know if the ship bee whole the waves doe onely beate against Simile the side they onely threaten they sinke her not but if shee have a crack and leake within her selfe she cannot endure the stirrings of the winds nor tossings of the waves but doth easily make her selfe her owne grave thus it is with conscience it cannot be both patient and burden and under all wounds it selfe being wounded it is that which makes the burden insupportable Secondly there is no outward thing which can relieve a wounded spirit it is not all the gold of the Indies nor all the favour of Princes nor all the friends on earth that can asswage or cure this wound a troubled mind impaireth health drieth up the blood wasteth the marrow pines away the flesh consumes the bones and makes all pleasures painefull to a man nothing doth comfort it but terrifie it the light doth not comfort him would God saith he it were night the darknesse doth terrifie him his sleepe forsakes him and his dreames doe not please him hee lieth on his bed boyling in disquietnesse and wisheth for day conscience can relieve against all wounds but its owne Suppose the wound to lie in a mans honour friends and estate conscience can heale all that but it selfe being wounded in the least degree it is beyond the cure and comfort of all outward things we have a saying that no borrowing part can helpe the lending part what helpe Simile can the hand returne unto the heart if I wound my hand the heart can yeeld helpe if the nerves which draw more inwardly be wounded yet the heart can helpe it hath blood and spirits and heate enough but if the heart it selfe be wounded what shall help Thirdly the spirit under its wounds retaineth the sensiblenesse of unpardoned guilt which of all things is most raging and makes the soule most comfortlesse when a man shall apprehend his sins to bee unpardonable or unpardoned it keepes him in a perpetuall rowling and boyling it is a condition that can no way be endured for sin lieth still at the doore haunting and vexing a man Fourthly a spirit that is wounded hath to deale with the mighty and irresistible power of God Now the strength of any burden is according to the strength of him with whom wee have to deale under the wound of conscience God is following his owne cause with his owne arguments and hee is now avenging the wrong that is done to his mercy and patience and is it possible for the creature to sustaine it selfe can we imagin any enabling against Gods pressure and power a man while he is to deale with men may beare up himselfe and hee may have much strength of wit or impudencie of face to out-face all enquiries but when men are to deale with an all-seeing and an all knowing and an all-sinne revenging God the might of whose glory is able to confound men and Angels if he once shall start up our guilts and breake into our soules if he send a trembling heart and sorrowfull mind if himselfe be witnesse against us and by his power imprison and shut us up we cannot avoid it or beare it time will not ease us company will not ease us peace will not ease us when he wounds none can heale but himselfe Fifthly the wound of the spirit is accompanied with the accusations of conscience conscience cannot be bribed or put of there is no flying from it the strength of conscience is awakened and her cruelty roareth conscience under wounding doth arraigne evidence condemne and bind over unto eternall wrath for sin and it is of an indefatigable unresistible and unavoidable power in working a man by flight or death or friends may escape the Magistrates hand but by neither can he possibly ever escape from a displeased conscience a tormented conscience cannot flie from God nor can a man flie from it Sixthly the wound of spirit is of an eternall nature all other wounds end in death and are therefore the more tollerable because they be temporall but this wound endeth not in death if it be not gratiously cured it is the beginning of hell upon earth unto the wicked and it continues him in hell upon earth and after death it is that worme which still is gnawing and never dying death is not the end of this misery and this maketh it the more intollerable to be borne what heart can possibly sustaine it selfe under infinite and endlesse miseries Seventhly and lastly when and whilst men are under the wounds of conscience Satan is strongly and subtly working such is Satans cowardize that he takes us at the weakest and such is his malice that hee will yet weaken us wee being weakened already Satan falling in with the bruisings and sores of mens soules and bringing in the fretting gall of hell and powring forth the sharpest vinegar of most violent objections the soule tortured and the wound enlarged and conscience overcharged Satan now tells the sinner of the impossibility of mercy and uncapablenesse of the bloud of Christ hee now followeth him with strange endictments representations and conclusions yea and arguments of insincerity and hypocrisie and this adds to the weight and maketh the burden intollerable there is no such trouble as to be daily troubled with the divell Having thus opened the wound unto you and its burden I shall fall upon the Application of both in this manner First bee wise to know the woundednesse of your spirits and to consider what is your condition thereby I presse you to this the rather upon these grounds Vse 1 1. Because a multitude of men are under searednesse and senslesnesse of conscience 2 Tim. 4. 2. they are dead and A seared spirit is worse then a wounded spirit sleepie their spirits never moove or work within them and let mee tell you that a wounded spirit is infinitely beyond a dead spirit a troubled conscience is a mercy in respect of a seared conscience conscience in trouble may happily proove conscience in goodnesse and peace and a cure may follow it when iron is put into the fire it may be made pliable and receive another impression Simile and so we doe not know what may be the good issue of a wounded spirit unto man but you cannot hope this of conscience continuing under searednesse 2. Because men
and it was his wounding The arrowes of the Almighty are within me the poyson whereof drinkes up my spirit the terrors of God do set themselves in array against mee c. Iob 6. â—4 5. The wound is made by the failing of testimonie from Failing of conscience conscience unto man upon repaire made unto it the good or evill day of a Christian is set by the voice of conscience unto him Now when conscience is silent and shall speake neither good nor bad unto a Christian when as no testimony at all shall stand up but after great and studious enquiry no verdict can bee obtained this is asad wound to the spirit The misery of conscience in silence in three things and it doth exceedingly distract and divide a Christian Note the effects of conscience in silence 1. It giveth man but a negative estate and that cannot satisfie and settle the soule it is not enough to my quiet that God lookes not as mine enemy but hee must looke like a friend on me 2. It giveth suspition of a neutrall estate so as a man cannot tell whether God and conscience be for him or against him 3. It breeds a suspition of a bad estate withdrawments and suspensions are sometimes the fore-runners of bitter intentions 6. The wound is in the spirit from the over great accusing Accusations of conscience power of conscience conscience in its accusations shewing the guiltinesse of sin and expressing the anger of God towards a man for sin in a cheerefull and excusing conscience we may behold a gratious God Note accepting and acquitting us in a silent conscience wee can suspect a doubtfull God wee know not which way God is or will be unto us and in an accusing conscience we doe behold an angry God and our selves most miserable creatures when a Christian shall bee totally under the accusations of conscience that his conscience shall speake nothing to him but that his heart is base and vile and that in such and such particular passages of his life he was not right and perfect but hollow and hypocriticall when I say conscience shall thus charge sin upon men this is the time of their wounding as wee may see in Iudas Mat. 27. 5. 7. Another thing which maketh the wound within us is Selfe jealousies an evill jealousie and an over-hard opinion of our selves and estates towards God Some men fall out with themselves and other men fall from themselves shall I say that they censure themselves and charge themselves falsely concluding against a state of grace and charging themselves with hypocrisie and insincerity without just cause Sure I am this is too too frequent among Gods children who upon such grounds as these doe mis-judge themselves and thereby make too great a wound within their spirits I say because they finde within themselves the want of such measure of graces and expressions of obedience which they once had desire to have and see others have when they see within themselves a partiall and temporary indisposednesse unto spirituall required duties when as gifts and graces for a time lie hid and dead in respect of vigour and sensible operations when all endeavours seeme to be fruitlesse and a Christian finds to his seeming the ordinances to go and come without all life and power unto him passing no influence of bettering into his soule Now hee sits him downe in griefe and the soule begins not onely to misgive or mistrust it selfe but to question the truth of all and it not only feares but concludes that surely the hands were washed in vaine and whatsoever hath beene done in religion and in the service of God it hath beene done in hypocrisie Psal 73. 13. and can you conceive how deepely this doth wound the spirit of a man 8. A next thing greatly wounding to the spirit of man is the New risings of old sins New rifings of old sins I meane when those sins which long since were committed and long since bewailed and long since renounced and wee long since did obtaine within our hearts some comfortable assurance of their pardon do meete us in their guilt not yet remooved as a debt not yet discharged and as an evill not yet thoroughly healed this causeth miserable trouble within the soule and upon this these conceits fall in Surely this sin of mine is not pardoned why would God remember it Surely there was but a skinning over the soare my heart was never healed by Sanctification how could it be that my sins should haunt mee againe this is now the sicknesse and death of many a soule 9. Lastly I conceive that this maketh the wound in the spirit Want of some good desired of man the want of some desired good it is not the absence of good generally considered which maketh the spirit to bee wounded for there are such whose unfeelingnesse is such that they have no sense of sinne nor of any spirituall want lying upon them but that which maketh the wound of the spirit to a man is this when his wants are presented unto him and their supplies are suspended and denied the soule would have mercy and mercy is denied him he would have ease and he seekes it and yet he is kept in misery when a mans prayers makes not their returnes but a man calles and none answers comforts delayed or denied do breake the heart and greatly wound the heart Doct. 3 I passe on to the next point That a wounded spirit is a burden The wound suffered yet not borne insupportable by the sonnes of men no man can beare it men must suffer and endure the perplexities thereof but beare A twofold bearing it that is to sustaine a mans selfe under it no man can this wound cannot bee borne with 1. With ease ease so as men enduring and feeling it should make nothing of it but it is with 2. With difficulty great difficulty and disquietment a burning feaver carrying Simile with it the inflammation of the spirits is not borne without much sense and horror so a wounded spirit even by the stoutest of spirits cannot be borne then with strongest and strangest torments men must yeeld themselves unto it and lie downe under it of necessity nay it is a wound unsupportable to all men that are vexed with it there is no withstanding The burden is too great 1. To good men 2. To bad men this wound by any man nor any standing under it by any man unto bad men it hath beene unsupportable O how grievous was it unto Caine who cries out My punishment is more then I can beare Gen. 4. 13. Iudas out of the trouble felt by it hangs himselfe to be rid out of it Mat. 27. 4. many thorough the weight and torment of it have beene forced to throw themselves downe from high mountaines to stabb and poyson and drowne themselves nay unto good men whose grace and strength was great and much this wound hath beene wounding
of himselfe in the acts of his mercy but man must looke wholy upon God and no way upon himselfe if hee intend to bee saved and enjoy mercy CASE IIII. Of imperfection and littlenesse of faith and other graces SUch as are men of grace in truth would bee men of grace in perfection no present measures can content such a sweet and blessed temper and if it were rightly regulated it would worke to Christians much comfort and free their mindes of much trouble but thus it commeth to passe that Christans doe much trouble their mindes with the degrees Littlenes of grace apprehended and measures operations and actions of their graces received they either comparing themselves with others interessed in the same graces with themselves and observing that others doe excell them by farre so as no comparison can be made betweene them or els they looking into themselves doe finde their graces beset with many corruptions that they can discerne much more sinne in them then grace that it is in a manner all naught within them in a word they finding the pulse of grace beating slowly within their faith and patience unactive and in a manner idle within them This I say gives them occasion to question their condition now surely they are not right and sound for that they are more imperfect in their graces then others they goe not forward and increase in their graces as others doe O the eye of their faith is dimme and doth but darkely apprehend the promises of God they doe many times discerne the promises with mistakings fullnesse and setlednesse of apprehension is wanting in them they cannot come off their carnall reasonings and selfe disputations yeelding firmenesse and entirenesse of assent unto the truth of Gods promises as they ought to doe their mindes are not yet so setled that all is yea and Amen that is spoken by God in the promises unto them they often say within themselves hath God indeed said this and this and may a man rely upon the word of his promise they cannot cast anchor so as it shall fasten they see the shore but cannot reach it and they see Christ and the promises but cannot apply them there is an interruption and suspension of the acts of application as for the perswasions of faith in them they are small or none at all they cannot say that God is their God and Christ their Christ and this they make to be their death and burden under which estate wee shall shew you that Christians have not so much cause of creating Ten releevements to the soule under imperfection of grace perplexities to themselves as many times they doe consider with mee 1. That a little grace is better then no grace it is the want of grace that is damnable and may cause a man to close up against himselfe all assurance and settlement tell mee O Christian wouldst thou change thy poore condition in grace for the greatest gracelesse condition in the world wilt thou part from that grace thou hast for any or all the seeming pleasures of sinne I dare say thou wouldst not then bee quieted in thy minde and doe not foolishly argue the nullity of a gratious condition from the imperfection of thy graces 2. That a little grace requireth a great deale of thankes it comming from the God of all grace and being an argument of sound sanctification shall I say that it is not the way of thankfullnesse to make little of any divine mercie we are too little for the least measure by reason of our unworthinesse and we doe not well to undervalew the least proportion and gift of grace 3. That which one man makes little unto himselfe would bee a great deale with many other Christians wee finde in experience that the rich mans complaint would be the poore mans content many poore soules could well feast themselves with the fragments that come from their tables when as they doe foolishly and proudly complain of want just so it is with many Christians they tell us that grace is weake and small in them when other Christians reasoning with them and hearing them complaine doe blesse God for their estate in grace and would bee exceeding glad were they in their condition of grace 4. That men of no grace are never troubled and truly humbled about smallnesse and weakenesse of grace the eyes of such are not yet opened to see their spirituall wants 5. That little grace is an argument of grace in the soule a little man is a man and a little faith is faith grace in truth hath a being in weakenesse it selfe and though it bee in the lowest measures there the soule hath an interest in God in Christ in the promises and in heaven little faith can and doth lay hold of great things and prooves unto Christians a great assurance 6. Little grace is a creature of God which he will not despise or forsake Doth God despise Zach 4. 10. the day of small things will any tender mother cast off her babe because it is weake and shall we imagine that God will not accept according to that a man hath bee it never so little Christians be perswaded that grace in truth though never so small is for acceptance 7. Little grace will doe much it many times doth that in and for Christians under weakenesse that all the world cannot doe for them it is their light in darknesse their life in death and their upholdment from sinking the widdowes little oile and little meale went a great way God blessing it and thus it is with little grace it will carry a man thorough the whole world and doe mighty things for him the great advantages of a little grace is unspeakable 8. That grace in weaknesse is made for strength and grace in littlenesse is fitted for increase our graces passe from imperfection to perfection and from weakenesse unto strength Gods strength being made perfect 2 Cor. 12. 9. in mans weaknesse weaknesse doth both call in and set out the glory of divine assistance consider that he who hath most grace hath not all he should have and hee who hath least in grace hath not all that he would have both measures are rising up unto greater perfections little grace is in a state of growth and in and by the use of meanes it is enlarged as we may see in Nicodemus and all new borne Christians whose growth is much in parts and powers of their graces they have risen from small beginnings to most admirable perfections 9. That gifts of Sanctification and appertaining unto mens salvation are different and unequall grace is alike in nature but not alike in measure in all the different standings of Christians in Christianity and grace is set out unto us both in the comparisons and appellations of them in Scripture they are compared to branches starres sheepe and the members of the body we reade of men and babes fathers and children all men be not of one stature nor all
affect wee shall heare such griefelesse and disgracing narrations of Christians miscarriages even by Christians themselves that it would make a man to question whether all wisdome and mercy bee not banished out of their hearts now when God seeth this proud and envious and spitefull spirit in any of his owne children hee lets them also bee tempted and under temptations they are permitted to fall that they may learne to be more mercifull to the names of their bretheren and to make them know that the sinne that overturnes one Christian may overturne any Christian and that one Christian seeing another to fall should compassionately helpe him up and not scornefully cast him off reade Gal. 6. 1. These things with many other causing the relapsing of Christians into sinne doe make the soules of Christians under its relapsings heavie and sad they considering within themselves that the basenesse of relapsing is likened to the dog turning 2 Pet. 2. â—2 to his vomit and the sow that is washed wallowing in the mire it doth greatly trouble and disquiet them concerning the setling of Christians labouring Five settlements under relapses under this evill I shall onely propound five things of principall knowledge and use First that all Relapsings into sinne are great evills wheresoever they are found relapsing argueth corruption yea and a sinfull disposition in man There is not onely the evill of sinne in this condition but wee shall finde many bitter effects and issues befalling Christians under their relapses for they do not onely hereby object themselves to many temporall punishments Psal 78. 61 62 63. but unto these foure spirituall evills 1. Soule-disquietment the peace of conscience being broken by every relapse I say relapses are of a disquieting nature to conscience in these five respects 1. Because they bring back Relapses disquieting to conscience in five respects all former guilts and with that all the former burdens and feares and terrors 2. Because they yeeld unto conscience matter of undeniable accusation the doubling of sin doth double the accusation and vexation of conscience 3. Because they are the aggravation of sinne unto man 4. Because they make the foundations and resting places of the soule questionable relapses put a man to cleare and proove his former grants and assurances to Heaven and his owne sincerity to God and in Religion 5. Because they doe greatly advantage temptations unto despaire Christians are never more apt to despaire then upon the consideration of their often falling into sinne 2. Discouragement in all accesses unto God the Christian cannot with that confidence and boldnesse draw neare unto God in prayer having relapsed as els hee might have done how can such beleeve that God will love them and heare them when as they have dealt so falsly with him having promised him not to sinne and mocked and abused him in his mercy and pitty and patience he having formerly pardoned them their sins 3. Disablement unto renewed repentance Now Christians doe finde it more difficult to returne from sinne their soules being sunke deeper into sinne and more entangled by sinne then formerly it was take mee a Christian that is but single in sinne and hee findeth the difficulties of repenting to bee great but how doth Satan renew his power and a Christian loose his strength when that the same sinnes are repeated over and over assuredly there is strange strengthenings of sin in relapsing into sinnes one sinne living in and by another 4. Feares of death O how unwelcome is the newes of death and how unwilling are such to die who have often fallen into the same sinnes Relapses doe put a sting into death making it very terrible unto the sonnes of men 2. That the Elect of God may fall backe againe into the same sinnes there is I say a possible incidency of relapsing unto persons of all sorts it is most certaine that wicked men who are ordained to destruction may relapse Pharaoh though humbled for the present did notwithstanding harden his heart againe and againe yea and they who are good and holy and have soundly repented them of their former sins may yet relapse the example of Abraham Lot Peter and Israel doth declare it how often doth God lay this sinne unto the charge of his people Ier. 3. 12. 14. 2â— Psal 78. 57. and no marvaile for though their repentance bee sound yet their mortification is imperfect in this life there is no sinfull disposition wholy rooted up and dried in sanctified persons and corruption remaining will put forth its nature into more and more acts yea and into the same acts of sinning as long as sinne retaines its nature it doth and will retaine the inclinations and operations of that nature also if the fire be not wholy put out who will thinke it impossible that it should catch and burne againe 3. That though the act of relapsing bee incident both to good and bad yet it is in a differing manner which I shall open Relapses into sinne by the godly different from relapses into sin by the vvicked Relapses 1 Naturall unto you in the distinctions of relapsings First there are relapses 1. Naturall 2. Accidentall Naturall relapses are such as spring from a disposition and temper that is wholy sinnefull and for sinne if a man by a coard pluck up very high the Simile weightof a jack or clock yet it hath a naturall propension to fall downe againe you need not drive the sow to the mire nor the dog unto his vomit their owne naturall love and delight will returne them the truth is that though externall and intervenient occasions may pen up or restraine the violence of corruption for a time yet such is the inward disposition of a naturall man unto sinne that hee soone returnes to his old course againe skin up the soare and the ulcer will breake out againe and if the heart bee not changed but chained by the power of restraining graces alone man will returne to his old vomit and vaine course Accidentall Relapses are 2. Accidentall such which befall the godly by sudden and strong temptations a land flood may carry back pieces of timber from the banke into the remote places of the ground an unexpected gale may drive the Marriner backe into the harbour againe and it is as possible that temptations may breake in with that violence that Christians may bee over-borne and carried away to those sinnes which their soules doe most sincerely abhorre and they have solemnely covenanted against yet here the effect and the intention are contrary heart and sinne being at difference and upon tearmes of defiance Secondly Relapses may bee either into the acts of sinne or else into the exercise of sinne one sick person falls back into some fits onely another returneth under the power of his disease againe the godly man falls backe into some particular sinne but there hee staieth not for though hee fall hee riseth againe hee is as a man fallen into the water