blessed Sphere Suffer me not dear Lord to moove from thee There is no rest But in thy Brest And in thine absence present misery O that I were at rest with thee Or else that thou wert come to mee Since in thine absence I am so distrest Thy wrathfull frown Hath thrown me down And rais'd a storm in my unquiet brest Come Lord and close these wretched eyes So blear'd with sins and miseries Resolve this erring heart to tamer dust Which every day Thus sleals away That it may rise more joyfull and more just THE SINNERS JOY All my Soul why so dismai'd Why so sad so sore afraid Canst thou think those gratious eyes Drench'd in tears for thee Can disdain such powerfull cryes Such humility Sinners soules must sorrow keep Man may mourn when God can weep Soul though thou hast done amiss Yet rejoyce for thou art his See his soul was sad to death In his agony Sad to case thy wofull breath In thy misery Be not faithless but beleeve Man may sigh when God can grieve Do not grudge to lend a tear Can'st thou doubt or can'st thou fear Can'st thou see his bleeding heart And not believe him Wounded soul that bears a part Can never grieve him Timely tears are precious seed Man may weep when God can bleed Be not so cast down Alass See his soul forsaken was Frighted with his Fathers frown Left in paines of hell Ah why art thou so cast down 'T was to make thee well Doubt not but admire his cost Man may stray when God was lost Soul when thou art left alone Do not deem thy Saviour gone When thou canst not see his face 'T is to let thee know That those sinnes with-draw his grace Which brought him so low See where he in grave doth lie Man may faint when God can die Weep no more but wipe thine eyes See O see thy Saviour rise Happie Soul thy debts are paid He is ascended Death is not be not afraid All woes are ended Grieve no more believe and live Man may take when God can give DEO SALVATORI WIth sighing Soul and bended knee Thy Servant vowes himself to thee My God accept a broken heart Bleeding for Sin O thou which art The Soveraign balm vouchsafe to bee My dearest Lord that Balm to mee Inlighten with thy saving grace Those eyes thou guidest to this place And grant dear God those fins of mine May not obscure that Grace of thine Amen THE SINNER'S TEARS The Entrance to the Work THere is no man but naturally desireth Happiness even those unhappy ones that least endeavour for it have oftentimes an earnest longing to it there can be no true Happiness without Peace no true Peace without Holiness without offering violence to our corrupt affections without ransaking our soules and searching out the very secrets of our Sinfull hearts the wordling may be outwardly merry but none but the sons of sorrow can be inwardly contented that outward Joy may delight for a season but this inward Peace remaineth for ever Peace is the richest Jewell in a Christians Cabinet the choisest Legacy that Christ bequeathed to his chosen ones in it there is a complication of all Blessings and without it an expectation of all Miseries there is no attaining to it but by the search of him who is the giver of it there is no following this search but by that path which leadeth to the ready way and there is but one guide that can direct us unto that path Blessed God there is no way unto thee but by thee thou art life and thou art the way to that life and thou art the guide to that way thou Lord art all in all unto me and therefore shalt be now and ever praised by me In all awfull reverence to thy sacred Majestie in fear and trembling at the sight of thy severe Justice to impenitent sinners in serious apprehension of thy sweet mercy in forbearing me a miserable wretch and with unfeigned forrow and humilitie of heart for grieving thy good Spirit I here dedicate the short remainer of my sinfull dayes to thy service In thy name and in thy fear I begin my discourse who art the God of peace by whose holy Spirit I am guided to this happy search Lord lead mee in it by the same Spirit that I may become an instrument of glory unto thee of happiness to thine of rest to mine own soul CHAP. I. Upon the consideration of our sinfull thoughts touching the Sacred Deitie with holy cautions to order our Devotions aright Lord WHen I seriously consider what thou art the least glimps of whose eternall glory I can no way see but by conceiving what thou art not when I look upon the vast distance between thee the blessed Creator and mee thy sinfull Creature I cannot but wonder at thy great patience at thy rich goodness at thine endless mercy towards mee My whole life from my nativitie hath been a continued course of sinfulness against thee mine actions highly rebellious my thoughts finfully wicked even the very best of them a dark confused indigested heap of misconceivings of thy sacred Majestie Thou Lord art an Essence most glorious most inconceivable eternallie injoying Blessedness in the fruition of thy self thy Centre is every where thy Circumference no where thou admittest not of Augmentation nor of Diminution no length of time is bâ—yond thee no depth of wisdome beneath thee no height of glory above thee no bredth of mercy beside thee Thou aâ—tâ—o Lord a most pure simple and eternall beeing Pure without matter without form Simple without mixture without composition Eternall without beginning without end no Created being can express thee no imagination conceive thee no understanding utter thee when I think of thee as thou art the bright beames of thy glory amaze mee when I conceive of thee what thou art not the terrors of mine own heart affright mee even but the Least thought of this kind is impious seeing that hereby I do not onely rob thee of thy glory but even deprive thee of thy self and yet Lord as thy being is most high so is the search thereof most necessary because from it as from the blessed fountain I enjoy my present I exspect my future happiness and unto it with joy of heart and earnestness of soul I desire should run the current of my praises in this life of my Allelujaes in that to come When I find therefore any Corporall parts appropriated to the Divine nature I there see thee gratiously descending to the weakness of my frail and infirm nature and ever bless thy holy name that vouchsafest to declare thy self not as thou art but as I am Thine Eye Lord is thy Wisdom thy Right hand thy Power thy sitting thine Immutability thy Standing thy Fortitude thine Anger thy Justice in punishing thy Repentance thy Mercy in pardoning thy Hatred of sin thy Holiness thy grieving thy Loving kindness thy Patience and long suffering thy Goodness all are thy self Neither is it
whole life a very sink of sin and all uncleanness When thy hand hath been heavy upon me I have then promised thee amendment when thy rode hath been taken off from me I have again returned to mine evil courses this plainly sheweth that I have hitherto sought but any self in thee and may therefore justly fear to be forsaken of thee I have been undutiful to thee my God envious and uncharitable to my neighbour hypocritical to the world deceitful to mine own soul My thoughts have been wanton my desires lascivious my actions unclean I have been blind to thy precepts deaf to thy promises dumb in thy praises lame in thy services sick at thine ordinances dead to thy imbraces I have broken all my promises I have slighted all thy threatnings I have abused all thy mercies I have rejected all thy favours I have delayed my repentance I have resisted the checks of mine own conscience I have quenched the motions of thy blessed Spirit and turned thy grace into wantonness and yet as if all this had been too little to condemn me I have most daringly presumed on thy mercie and most ungracionsly resolved to go on in my impieties Lord thou hast peomised to forgive those that repent to ease those that are heavy laden to raise up those that are fallen to satisfie those that are hungry and to bind up those that are broken-hearted O Lord my God I earnestly desire to repent I am laden with a burthen insupportable I am feeble and sore smitten with the terrors of thy Law my flesh trembleth and my heart fainteth I am fallen into the very mouth of hell I am sorely wounded with the remorse of mine own accusing conscience and hungry for the sweet refreshings of thy saving grace Thou O Lord hast made me sensible of this my great misery and thou alone canst make me capable of thy rich mercy unto that mercie therefore I appeal with sighs in my soul and sorrow in my heart O thou which art the blessed fountain of all goodness which desirest not the death of a sinner but rather that he should repent and live have mercy upon me O thou which art the Saviour of the world which camest to seek and to save those which were lost have mercy upon me O holy and for ever blessed Spirit thou which feedest and refreshest the distressed soules of thine Elect have mercy on me Let thy power O blessed Father support my weakness thy wisdom O blessed Son supply my folly thy love O blessed Spirit restrain my wilfulness that as thou art eternally one so I may for ever be at unity with thee although most wofully divided in my self Lord as thou hast given me a heart to pray unto thee so give me also a soul to praise thee and a serius resolution to perform those promises I make unto thee Lord sweeten all my sorrows by thy blessed sufferings inlarge my heart with thankfulness for thy many favours strengthen my weak faith restrain my rebellious nature increase daily in me the gifts and graces of thy blessed Spirit indue me with a perfect hatred against all sin and grant dear God that daring and presumptuous sinnes may never have dominion over me Amen CHAP. 14. Upon Quenching the motions of Gods holy Spirit COnsider O my soul from whence these happy thoughts arise and wherefore if they were from nature they must needs savour of corruption but now they are from Grace they summon thee to goodness they beckon thee to immortality Thy God now calleth thee to repentance he offers thee his gracious pardon for thy sin his love his protection his peace his grace his glory He now woeth thee to favour and thou a wofull wretch convicted by thine own accusing conscience condemned by divine Justice rebelliously rejectest all these gracious offers Ah what wofull folly is this nay rather what wilfull madness As there is a time of calling so there will be a time of rejecting the blessed wind of Gods holy Spirit bloweth but where it listeth when it is once gone thou knowest not whether it shall ever return God will have mercy on whom he will have mercy and whom he will he hardeneth Rom. 9. Ah wo be unto that soul whose time of calling is once past a thousand worlds cannot redeem its loss If thou wilt not now embrace these comfortable breathings of his tender love thou shalt then endure the bitter storms of his incensed wrath If thou wilt not embrace his Mercy thou shalt exalt his Justice I called unto you saith God and yee refused to come I held out my hand and ye would not look towards me therefore will I forsake you in your extremity when your fear cometh as desolation and your destruction as a whirlwind when distress and anguish cometh upon you then shall they call upon me but I will not answer they shall seek me early but they shall not find me Prov. 1.24 27 28. Gods clemency and patience in this life will assuredly exasperate his fury and revenge in that to come as his Mercy is unutterable so his Justice is intollerable both are his divine being and therefore both must needs be infinite both are to manifest his glory and therefore both must be eternall From hence is that expression of Saint Vaul It is a fearfull thing to fall into the hands of the living God Heb. 10. From hence it is that wicked men are left unto their own swing in this life that they may be payd home with Gods wrath in that to come Let this teach thee O my soul to welcome these endeared motions of the gladding Spirit to thirst for them to rejoyce in them to think no thought too dear to be disloged for them Blessed Lord I hear thee calling thy holy Apostle Saint Peter and I see him readily forsaking all to follow thee how often hast thou called me a sinfull wretch by the sweet motions of thy blessed Spirit and I have hitherto refused to forsake the very least of all my sins for thy sake who willingly forsookest all the pleasures of this life for mine Long hast thou waited my repentance but I have yet hated to be reformed Mercy hath been offered and I have not esteemed it Judgement hath been threatned and I have not regarded it thou hast not onely whispered unto me by thy gracious visits of thy blessed Spirit but thou hast even called me aloud by thy divine hand of wholsom chastisement By loss of friends by loss of means by loss of health by loss of liberty and without thy rich mercy by the great danger of that greater loss of thy Gospel and thereby of thy gracious presence in this life and thine eternall joys in that to come All this my sins have justly brought upon me and yet for all this my wretched heart desires to be a stranger to thee Lord who am I that thou so graciously invitest unto mercy Lord what am I that now presume to speak unto thee I am so
joyfulness of heart contentedly rely upon thee Enrich my heart with heavenly thoughts give me that better part which cannot be taken from me Lord what thou deniest me of these outward comforts make good unto me by thine inward mercies that all these earthly things may work together to the best to mine advantage so shall my present poverty be an undoubted earnest of my future glory Amen CHAP. 34. Upon Sickness and ungodly repining thereat AS every good and perfect gift is from above so is allso every punishment for sin by every proportion of sorrow For misery cometh not out of the dust neither doth affliction spring out of the earth Iob 1.5 6. That Divine Goodness which wisely and affectionately disposeth all things to the good of his chosen by his holy providence hath suited their degrees limited their powers and appointed their ends every pain in sicknesse every pang in death have their just number weight and measure I't is the Lord let him doe what he will nothing can befall me but by his Divine allowance nothing shall dismay me that my God inflicteth on me if my visitation be grievous I am sure it is safe For He chastiseth me for my profit that I may be partaker of his holiness Blessed be that sorrow which allureth me from sin blessed be that misery that inviteth me to mercy 〈◊〉 kiss it I embrace it and with humbleness of heart I joyfully and patiently submit unto it The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh blessed be the name of the Lord Iob 1.21 I humbly confess Lord that my great and grievous sins have most justly deserved this great and grievous affliction that thou mightest long since have deprived me of my life for depriving thee of thine honour that I am most unworthy of this thy gentle visitation for I am full of rottenness and corruption and therefore can expect no other but to be fill'd with sorrow and affliction thou hast given me a body for thy service but I have defiled it with sin and wickedness thou gavest me a soul enriched with thy heavenly graces but I have defaced it with unthankfulness and disobedience no faculty of my soul no member of my body but are most impure and sinfull in thy sight Thou O Lord knowest all my foolishness and my faults are not hid from thee thou seest how vainly I have mis-spent my pretious time how carelesly abused that continued health which thou hast given me how seriously been busied on the Creature how wretchedly neglected thee the great Creatour Thou hast often weaned me from sin by thy blessed motions by thy gratious admonitions by thy gentle visitations by a wasted body and a wounded soul and yet I still sin without ceasing without sorrowing without repenting such are my faults so grievovs mine offences that I now blush to name those sins before thee by which I have so often and so foolishly rebell'd against thee and now after all this allthough thou hast with lasting patience waited my return and art inforced to withdraw thy present mercy yet thou art moved to behold my present misery evâ—n in thy very wrath thou hast compassion on me Habac. 3.2 while thou seemest by this present sickness to withhold thy favour from me thou gratiously intendest by this blessed means to shew thy self more lovingly unto me for I know Lord that thy judgements are just and that thou of very faithfulnesshast caused me to be troubled Psal 119.75 Theresore Though thou killest me yet will I trust in thee Iob 13.15 Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death yet will I fear no evill Psal 23.4 Behold Lord I am willingly and joyfully and thankfully in thy hands doe with me what thou wilt if I live I shall praise thee if I dye I trust I shall goe home unto thee and be for ever blessed with thee O thou Father of mercies and God of all consolations behold me thy sick servant with thine eye of pity and compassion O remember not my former sins but have mercy upon me O Lord and that soon for I am come unto great extremity O Lord my God I am troubled I am bowed down greatly I goe mourning all the day long thou writest bitter things against me and makest me possess the iniquities of my youth O let the sweetness of thy mercy qualifie the sharpness of thy Fatherly correction consider me O Lord that I am but dust full of frailties and infirmities forgive me for thy mercy sake Remember not the sinfull failings of my youth but according to the richness of thy goodness be thou mindfull of me O righteous Father look not on the multitude and hainousness of mine offences but look upon the bitter passion of thy blessed Son he was wounded for my transgressions he was broken for mine iniquities O by his blessed stripes let my sinfull soul be healed Enable me to suffer this thy gentle visitation with that meekness and contentedness of soul that becometh thy child and so bless it unto me that it may bring forth in me the quiet and the happy fruits of righteousness that it may drive my thoughts to immortality and fix my soul upon eternity Blessed Lord my hope is in thee my soul trusteth in thee and under the shadow of thy wings shall be my refuge untill this misery be overpast O Lord consider my complaint for I am brought very low Let my present anguish more prevail with thee to move thee to compassion than my former foolishness to stir thy wrath and indignation O enter not into judgement with thy servant for no flesh is righteous in thy sight Lord I confess my wickedness and am sorry for my sin for thy Names sake O Lord be mercifull unto my sin for it is great my confusion is daily before me and the shame of my face hath covered me my heart is disquieted within me and the fear of death is fallen upon me Lord I am thine O save me for thy mercy sake into thy hands I commend my self for thou hast redeemed me O Lord thou God of Truth Forsake me not O Lord my God be not thou far from me hast thee to help me O Lord God of my salvation O spare me for thy mercy sake that I may recover my strength before I goe hence and be no more seen Amen CHAP. 35. Upon the misery of Life and blessedness of Death I am a Pilgrim and a Stranger here as all my Fathers were I am wearied out with travell and long to be at rest I am lodged here but with great cost and greater danger this seeming sweetnesse hath cost me much true sorrow many bitter sighs and aking hearts disturbance of body distraction of soul I have sought for help here below but can find none no creature on earth to relieve me none to support me I have seen pleasure to be folly and laughter madness men of low degree to be vanity of high degree a lye their understanding vain their labours vain