more nor see his native Country And is there not a dreadful sound of troubles now in our ears Do not the clouds gather blackness Surely all things round about us seem to be preparing and disposing themselves for affliction The dayes may be nigh in which you shall say Blessed is the womb that never bare and the paps that never gave suck It was in the day wherein the faith and patience of the Saints were exercised that John heard a voice from heaven saying to him Write Blessed are the dead which dye in the Lord from benceforth Thy friend hy an Act of favour is disbanded by death whilst thou thy self art left to endure a great fight of affliction And now if troubles come thy cares and fears will be so much the less and thy own death so much the easier to thee when so much of thee is in heaven already In this case the Lord by a mercifull dispensation is providing both for their safety and thy own easier passage to them In removing thy friends before hand he seems to say to thee as he did to Peter Joh. 13. 7. What I do thou knowest not now but hereafter thou shalt know it The eye of Providence hath a prospect far beyond thine it would be in probability an harder task for thee to leave them behind than to follow them A tree that 's deeply rooted in the earth requires many strokes to fell it but when its roots are loosned before hand then an easie stroke layes it down upon the earth 6. Consid. A parting time must needs come and why is not this as good as another You knew before hand your child or friend was mortal and that the thred that linked you together must be cut If any one saith Basil had asked you when your child was born What is that which is born What would you have answered Would you not have said it is a man and if a man than a Mortal vanishing thing And why then are you surprized with wonder to see a dying thing dead He saith Seneca who complaines that one is dead complains that he was a man All men are under the same condition to whose share it falls to be born to him it remains to dye We are indeed distinguisht by intervalls but equalized in the Issue It is appointed to all men once to dye Heb. 9. 27. There is a statute Law of heaven in the case Possibly you think this is the worst time for parting that could be had you enjoyed it longer you could have parted easier but how are you deceiv'd in that The longer you had enjoyed it the lother still you would have been to leave it the deeper it would have rooted it self in your affection Had God given you such a priviledge as was once granted to the English Parliament that the union betwixt you and your friend should not be dissolved till you your self were willing it should be dissolved When think you would you have been willing it should be dissolved It s well for us and ours that our times are in Gods hand not in our own And how immature soever it seemed to be when it was cut down yet it came to the grave in a full age as a shock of corn in its season Job 5. 26. They that are in Christ and in the Covenant never dye unseasonably whensoever they dye Saith one upon the Text They dye in a good old age yea though they dye in the spring and flower of youth they dye in a good old age i. e. They are ripe for death when ever they dye When ever the godly dye its harvest time with him though in a natural capacity he be cut down while he is green and cropt in the bud or blossom yet in his spiritual capacity he never dyes before he is ripe God can ripen his speedily he can let out such warm rayes and beams of his spirit upon them as shall soon maturate the seeds of grace into a preparedness for glory It was doubtless the most fit and seasonable time for them that ever they could dye in and as it is a fit time for them so for you also Had it lived longer it might either have engaged you more and so your parting would have been harder or else have puzled and stumbled you more by discovering its natural corruption And then what a stinging aggravation of your sorrow would that have been Surely the Lord of time is the best Judge of time and in nothing do we more discover our folly and rashness then in presuming to fix the times either of our comforts or troubles as to our comforts we never think they can come to soon we would have them presently whether the season be fit or not as Numb 12. 13. Heal her now Lord. O let it be done speedily we are in post hast for our comforts and as for our afflictions we never think they come late enough not at this time Lord rather at any other time than now But it s good to leave the timing both of the one and other to him whose works are all beautiful in their seasons and never doth any thing in an improper time 7. Consid. Call to mind in this day of trouble the Covenant you have made with God and what you solemnly promised him in the day you took him for your God It will be very seasonable and useful for thee Christian at this time to reflect upon those transactions and the frame of thy heart in those dayes when an heavier load of Sorrow prest thy heart than thou now feelest In those your spiritual distresses when the burthen of sin lay heavy the curse of the Law the fear of hell the dread of death and eternity beset thee on every side and shut thee up to Christ the only door of hope Ah what good news wouldst thou then have accounted it to escape that danger with the loss of all earthly comforts Was not this thy cry in those dayes Lord give me Christ and deny me what ever else thou pleasest Pardon my sin save my soul and in order to both unite me with Christ and I will never repine or open my mouth Do what thou wilt with me let me be friendless let me be childless let me be poor let me be any thing rather than a Christless graceless hopeless soul. And when the Lord hearkned to thy cry and shewed thee mercy when he drew thee off from the world into thy closet and there treated with thee in secret when he was working up thy heart to the terms of his Covenant and made thee willing to accept Christ upon his own terms O then how heartily didst thou submit to his yoak as most reasonable and easie as at that time it seemed to thee Call to mind these dayes the secret places where Christ and you made the bargain Have not these words or words to this sense been whispered by thee into his ear with a dropping eye and melting heart
A TOKEN FOR MOURNERS OR The Advice of Christ to a distressed Mother bewailing the Death of her Dear and only Son WHEREIN The Boundaries of Sorrow are duly fixed Excesses restrained the Common Pleas Answered and divers Rules for the support of Gods afflicted ones prescribed By J. F. Preacher of the Gospel of Christ at Dartmouth in Devon 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Transivere patres simul hinc transibimus omnes In coelo patriam qui bene transit habet LONDON Printed for Robert Boulter at the Turks-head in Cornhill over against the Royal Exchange 1674. THE Epistle Dedicatory To his dearly beloved Brother and Sister Mr J. C. and Mrs. E. C. the Author wisheth Grace Mercy and Peace Dear Friends THE double tye of Nature and Grace beside the many endearing passages that for so many years have linked and glewed our affections so intimately cannot but beget a tender sympathy in me under all your troubles and make me say of every affliction which befalls you half mine I find it is with our affections as with the strings of Musical instruments exactly set at the same height if one be touched the other trembles though it be at some distance Our affections are one and so in a great measure have been our afflictions also You cannot forget that in the years lately past the Almighty visited my Tabernacle with the Rod and in one year cut off from it the root and the branch the tender Mother and the only Son What the effects of those strokes or rather of my own unmortified passions were I have felt and you and others have heard Surely I was as a Bullock unaccustomed to the Yoak Yea I may say with them Lam. 3. 19 20. Remembring mine affliction and my misery the wormwood and the gall my soul hath them still in remembrance and is humbled in me I dare not say that ever I felt my heart discontentedly rising and swelling against God no I could still justifie him when I most sensibly smarted by his hand if he had plunged me into a Sea of sorrow yet I could say in all that Sea of Sorrow there is not a drop of injustice But it was the over-heating and over-acting of my fond and unmortified affections and passions that made so sad impressions upon my body and cast me under those distempers which soon imbittered all my remaining comforts to me It was my earnest desire so soon as I had strength and opportunity for so great a Journey to visit you that so if the Lord had pleased I might both refresh and be refreshed by you after all my sad and disconsolate daye And you cannot imagine what content and pleasure I projected in that visit but it proved to us as all other Comforts of the same kind ordinarily do more in expectation than in fruition for how soon after our joyful meeting and embraces did the Lord overcast and darken our day by sending death into your Tabernacle to take away the desire of your eyes with a stroke to crop off that sweet and only bud from which we promised our selves so much Comfort But no more of that I fear I am gone too far already It is not my design to exasperate your troubles but to heal them and for that purpose have I sent you these papers which I hope may be of use both to you and many others in your condition since they are the after-fruits of my own troubles things that I commend not to you from another hand but which I have in some measure proved and tasted in my own tryals But I will not hold you longer here I have only a few things to desire for and from you and I have done The things I desire are First That you will not be too hasty to get off the yoak which God hath put upon your neck Remember when your child was in the Womb neither of you desired it should be delivered thence till Gods appointed time was fully come and now that you travail again with sorrow for its death O desire not to be delivered from your sorrows one moment before Gods time for your deliverance be fully come also Let patience have its perfect work that Comfort which comes in Gods way and season will stick by you and do you good indeed Secondly I desire that though you and your afflictions had a sad meeting yet you and they may have a Comfortable parting If they effect that upon your hearts which God sent them for I doubt not but you will give them a fair testimony when they go off If they obtain Gods blessing upon them in their operation surely they will have your blessing too at their valediction And what you entertained with fear you will dismiss with praise How sweet is it to hear the afflicted soul say when God is looseing his bands It 's good for me that I have been afflicted Thirdly I heartily wish that these searching afflictions may make the most satisfying discoveries that you may now see more of the evil of sin the vanity of the Creature and the fullness of Christ than ever you yet saw Afflictions are searchers and put the soul upon searching and trying its ways Lam. 3. 40. When our sin finds us out by affliction happy are we if by the light of affliction we find out sin Blessed is the man whom God chasteneth and teacheth out of his Law Psal. 94. 12. There are unseen causes many times of our troubles you have an advantage now to sift out the seeds and principles from which they spring Fourthly I wish that all the love and delight you bestowed upon your little one may now be placed to your greater advantage upon Jesus Christ and that the stream of your affection to him may be so much the stronger as there are now fewer chanels for it to be devided into If God will not have any part of your happiness to lye in children then let it wholly lye in himself If the Jealousie of the Lord hath removed that which drew away too much of your heart from him and hath spoken by this rod saying Stand aside child thou art in my way and fillest more room in thy Parents hearts than belongs to thee O then deliver up all to him and say Lord take the whole heart intirely and undividedly to thy self Henceforth let there be no parting sharing or deviding of the affections betwixt God and the Creature let all the streams meet and center in thee only Fifthly That you may be strengthned with all might in the inner man to all patience that the peace of God may keep your heart and mind Labour to bring your hearts to a meek submission to the rod of your Father We had Fathers of our flesh who corrected us and we gave them reverence shall we not much more be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live Is it comely for children to contest and strive with their Father Or is it the way to be freed from the yoak
too much to them or rely too much on them The best means in the world are weak and ineffectual without Gods assistance and concurrence and they never have that his assistance or concurrence when his time is come and that it was fully come in your friends case is manifested now by the event So that if your friend had had the most excellent helps the world affords they would have avail'd nothing This consideration takes place only in your case who see what the will of God is by the issue and may not be pleaded by any whilst it remains dubious and uncertain as it generally doth in time of sickness 2. Answer Do you not unjustly charge and fault your selves for that which is not really your fault or neglect How far you are chargeable in this case will best appear by comparing the circumstances you are now in with those you were in when your Relation was only arrested by sickness and it was dubious to you what was your duty and best course to take Possibly you had observed so many to perish in Physitians hands and so many to recover without them that you judged it safer for your friend to be without those means than to be hazarded by them Or if diverse methods and courses were prescribed and perswaded to and you now see your error in preferring that which was most improper and neglecting what was more safe and probable yet as long as it did not so appear to your understanding at that time but you followed the best light you had to guide you at that time it were most unjust to charge the fault upon your selves for chusing that course that then seemed best to you whether it were so in it self or not To be angry with your selves for doing or omâ—tâ—ing what was then done or omitted according to your best discretion and judgment because you now see it by the light of the event far otherwise than you did before is to be troubled that you are but men or that you are not as God who only can foresee Issues and events and that you acted as all rational creatures are bound to do according to the best light they have at the time and season of action 3. Answer To conclude times of great affliction are ordinarily times of great temptation and it 's usual with Satan then to charge us with more sins than we are really guilty of and also to make those things seem to be sins which upon impartial examination will not be found to be so Indeed had your neglect or miscarriage been knowing and voluntary or had you really prefer'd a little money being able to give it before the life of your Relation so that you did deliberatly chuse to hazard this rather than part with that no doubt then but there had been much evil of sin mixed with your affliction and your Conscience may justly smite you for it as your sin But in the other case which is more common and I presume yours it 's a false charge and you ought not to abet the design of Satan in it Judg by the sorrow you now feel for your friend in what degree he was dear to you and what you could now be content to give to ransom his life if it could be done with money Judg I say by this how groundless the charge is that Satan now draws up against you and you are but too ready to yeild to the truth of it 8. Plea But my troubles are upon a higher score and account My child or friend is passed into Eternity and I know not how it is with its soul. Were I sure that my Relation were with Christ I should be quiet but the fears of the contrary are overwhelming O it 's terrible to think of the damnation of one so dear to me 1. Answer Admit what the objection supposes that you have real grounds to fear the eternal condition of your dear Relation yet it 's utterly unbeseeming you even in such a case as this to dispute with or repine against the Lord. I do confess it 's a sore and heavy tryal and that there is no case more sad and sinking to the spirit of a gracious person Their death is but a trifle to this but yet if you be such as fear the Lord methinks his indisputable Soveraignty over them and his distinguishing love and mercy to you should at least silence you in this matter First His indisputable Soveraignty over them Rom. 9. 20. Who art thou O man that disputest with God He speaks it in the matters of eternal election and reprobation What if the Lord will not be gracious to those that are so dear to us Is there any wrong done to them or us thereby Aarons two Sons were cut off in an act of sin by the Lords immediate hand and yet he held his peace Levit. 10. 3. God told Abraham plainly that the Covenant should not be established with Ishmael for whom he so earnestly pray'd O let Ishmael live before thee and he knew that there was no salvation out of the Covenant and yet he sits down silent under the word of the Lord. Secondly But if this do not quiet you yet methinks his distinguishing love and mercy to you should do it O what do you owe to God that root and branch had not been cast together into the fire that the Lord hath given you good hope through grace that it shall be well with you for ever Let this stop your mouth and quiet your spirit though you should have grounds for this fear 2. Answer But pray examine the grounds of your fear whether it may not proceed from the strength of your affections to the eternal welfare of your friend or from the subtilty of Satan designing hereby to over-whelm and swallow you up in sorrow as well as from just grounds and causes In two cases it 's very probable your fear may proceed only from your own affection or Satans temptation First If your Relation died young before it did any thing to destroy your hopes Or Secondly If grown and in some good degree hopeful only he did not in life or at death manifest and give evidence of grace with that clearness as you desired As to the case of Infants in general it 's none of our concern to judg their condition and as for those that sprang from Covenanted parents it becomes us to exercise Charity towards them the Scripture speaks very favourably of them And as for the more adult who have escaped the polutions of the world and made Conscience of sin and duty albeit they never manifested what you could desire they had yet in them as in young Abijah may be found some good thing towards the Lord which you never took notice of Reverence of your authority bashfulness and shamefac'dness reservedness of disposition and many other things may hide those small and weak beginnings of grace that are in children from the observations of the Parents God might see
by struggling under it Oh that your hearts might be in a like frame with his that said Lord thou shalt beat and I will bear It was a good observation that one made Anima sedendo quiescendo fit sapiens The Soul grows wise by sitting still and quiet under the rod. And the Apostle calls those excellent fruits which the Saints gather from their sanctified afflictions The peaceable fruits of Righteousness Heb. 12. 11 Lastly My hearts desire and prayer to God for you is that you may die daily to all visible enjoyments and by these frequent converses with death in your family you may be prepared for your own change and dissolution when it shall come O Friends How many graves have you and I seen opened for our dear Relations How oft hath death come up into our windows and summoned the delight of our eyes It is but a little while and we shall go to them we and they are distinguished but by short intervals Transivere patres simul hinc transibimus omnes Our dear Parents are gone our lovely and desireable children are gone our bosom Relations that were as our own souls are gone the greatest part of us is gone And do not all these warning-knocks at our dores acquaint us that we must prepare to follow shortly after them O that by these things our own death might be both more easie and more familiar to us the oftner it visits us the better we should be acquainted with it and the more of our beloved Relations it removes before us the less of either snare and intanglement remains for us when our turn comes My dear Friends my flesh and my blood I beseech you for Religion sake for your own sake and for my sake whose Comfort is in great part bound up in your prosperity and welfare that you read frequently ponder seriously and apply believingly these Scripture-consolations and directions which in some haste I have gathered for your use and the God of all consolation be with you I am Your most endeared Brother JOHN FLAVEL Luke 7. 13. And when the Lord saw her he had Compassion on her and said to her Weep not TO be above the stroke of passions is a condition equal to Angels to be in a State of Sorrow without the sense of sorrow is a disposition beneath Beasts but duly to regulate our Sorrows and bound our Passions under the rod is the Wisdom duty and excellency of a Christian. He that is without natural affections is deservedly ranked among the worst of Heathens and he that is able rightly to manage them deserves to be numbred with the best of Christians Though when we are Sanctified we put on the Divine Nature yet till we are glorified we put not off the infirmities of our humane Nature Whilest we are within the reach of troubles we cannot be without the danger nor ought to be without the fear of sin and it is as hard for us to escape sin being in adversity as becalming in prosperity How apt we are to transgress the bounds both of Reason and Religion under a sharp affliction appears as in most mens experience so in this Womans example to whose excessive Sorrow Christ puts a stop in the Text He saw her and had Compassion on her and said to her Weep not The Lamentations and waylings of this distressed mother moved the tender compassions of the Lord in beholding it and stirred up more pitty in his heart for her than could be in her heart for her dear and only Son In the words we are to consider both the Condition of the woman and the Counsel of Christ with respect unto it First The condition of this Woman which appears to be very dolorous and distressed her groans and tears moved and melted the very heart of Christ to hear and behold them When he saw her he had Compassion on her How sad an hour it was with her when Christ met her appears by what is so distinctly remark't by the Evangelist in ver 12. where it is said Now when they came nigh to the Gate of the City behold there was a dead man carried out the only Son of his Mother and she was a Widdow and much people of the City was with her In this one Verse divers heart piercing circumstances of this affliction are noted First It was the death of a Son To bury a child any child must needs rend the heart of a tender Parent for what are children but the parent multiplied a child is a part of the parent made up in another skin But to lay a Son in the grave A Son which continues the name and supports the family this was ever accounted a very great affliction Secondly This Son was not carried from the Cradle to the Coffin nor stript out of its Swathing to be wrapt in its Winding cloaths Had he dyed in infancy before he had engaged affection or raised expectation the affliction had not been so pungent and cutting as now it was Death smote this Son in the flower and Prime of his time He was a man saith the Evangelist ver 12. a young man as Christ calls him ver 14. he was now arrived at that age which made him capable of yeilding his Mother all that comfort which had been the expectation and hope of many years and the reward and fruit of many cares and Labours Yet then when the endearments were greatest and her hopes highest even in the flower of his age he is cut off Thus Basil bewayled the death of his Son Filius mihi erat adolescens solus vitaesuccessor solatium senectae gloria generis flos aequalium fulcrum domu saetatem gratiosissimam agebat hic raptus periit qui paulo ante jucundam vocem edebat jucundissimum spectaculum parentis oculis erat I once had a Son who was a young man my only successor the solace of my age the glory of his kind the prop of my family arrived to the endearing age then was he snatcht from me by death whose lovely voice but a little before I heard who lately was a pleasant spectacle to his Parent Reader if this have been thine own condition as it hath been his that writes it I need say no more to convince thee that it was a sorrowful State indeed Christ met this tender Mother in Thirdly And which is yet more he was not only a Son but an only Son so you find in ver 12. He was the only Son of his Mother One in whom all her hopes and Comforts of that kind were bound up For Omnis in Ascanio stat chari cura Parentis All her affections were contracted into this one object If we have never so many children we know not which of them to spare If they stand like Olive plants about our Table it would grieve us to see the least twigg amongst them broken down But surely the death of one out of many is much more tolerable than of all
to see one mercy left than that twenty are cut off They that know they have forfeited every mercy should be thankful that they enjoy any and patient when they loose many of their comforts Did we know God even that Soveraign Lord at whose dispose our comforts come and go who can the next moment blast all that remain and turn you into hell afterwards you would prize the mercies he yet indulges to you at an higher value Did you understand the fickle vanishing nature of the Creature what a flower what a bubble it is Oh how thankful would you be to find so many yet left in your possession Did you know the case of thousands as good yea better than you whose whole harvest of comfort in this world is but an handful to the gleanings of the comforts you still enjoy who in all their lives never were owners of such comfortable enjoyments as you now over-look surely you would not act as you do Beside What vile ingratitude is in this What! are all your remaining mercies worth nothing You have buried a child a friend Well but still you have a husband a wife other children or if not you have comfortable accommodations for your selves with health to enjoy them or if not yet you have the Ordinances of God it may be an interest in Christ and in the Covenant pardon of sin and hopes of glory What! and yet sink at this rate as if all your mercies comforts and hopes even in both worlds were buried in one grave Must Ichabod be written upon your best mercies because mortality is written upon one Fye fye What shameful ingratitude is here And really friend Such a carriage as this under the rod is no small provocation to the Lord to go on in Judgment and make a full end of all that remains so that affliction shall not rise up the second time What if God taking notice how little thou regardest the many undeserved favours thou yet possessest should say Well if thou think'st them not worth the owning neither do I think them worth the continuing Go death there 's a husband a wife other children yet left smite them all Go sickness and remove the health of his body yet left go losses and impoverish his estate yet left go reproach and blast his reputation which is yet sweet What would you think of this And yet if you be out of Christ you are in danger of a far sadder stroke than either or all yet mention'd What if God should say Prizest thou not my mercy Hast thou no value for my goodness and forbearance towards thee Is it nothing that I have spar'd thee thus long in thy sins and rebellions Well then I will stretch out my hand upon thy life cut off that thred which hath kept thee so many years from dropping into hell O think then what you have done by provoking the Lord through your vile ingratitude It s a dangerous thing to provoke God when he is already in a way of Judgement And if you be his own people and so out of the danger of this last and worst stroke yet know you have better mercies to lose than any you have yet lost Should God cloud your soul with doubts let loose Satan to buffet you remove joy and peace from your inner man How soon would you be convinced that the funeral of your dearest friend is but a trifle to this Well then Whatever God takes be still thankful for what he leaves It was the great sin of Israel in the wilderness that though God had delivered them from their cruel servitude in Egypt miraculously fed them in the desert and was leading them on to a Land flowing with milk and hony yet as soon as any want did but begin to pinch them presently all these mercies were forgotten and slighted Numb 14. 12. Would to God say they we had died in Egypt And Numb 11. 6. There is nothing at all beside this Mannah Beware of this O ye mourning and afflicted ones You see both the sin that is in it and the danger that attends it Secondly And no less sinful are our Sorrows When they so wholly ingulph our hearts that we either mind not at all or are little or nothing sensible of the publick evils and calamities which lye upon the Church and people of God Some Christians have such publick spirits that the Churches troubles swallow up their personal troubles Melanchton seemed to take little notice of the death of his child which he dearly loved being almost overwhelm'd with the miseries lying on the Church And it was a good evidence of the graciousness and publickness of Elies spirit who sitting in the gate anxiously waiting for tydings from the Army when the tydings came that Israel fled before the Philistins that his two Sons Hophni and Phineas were dead and that the Ark of God was taken just at the mention of that word The Ark of God before he heard out the whole narration his mind quickly presaging the issue he sank down and died 1 Sam. 4. 19 20. O that was the sinking the killing word had the messenger stopt at the death of his two Sons like enough he had supported that burden but the loss of the Ark was more to him than sons or daughters But how few such publick spirits appear even among Professors in this selfish generation May we not with the Apostle complain Phil. 2. 21. All seek their own and not the things that are of Christ. Few men have any great cares or designs lying beyond the bounds of their own private interests And what we say of cares is as true of sorrows if a child dye we are ready to dye too but publick calamities pierce us not How few suffer either their domestick comforts to be swallow'd up in the Churches troubles or their domestick troubles to be swallowed up by the Churches mercies Now when it is thus with us when we little regard what mercies or miseries lye upon others but are wholly intent upon our own afflictions this is a sinful sorrow and ought to be sorrowed for Thirdly Our Sorrows then become sinful and exorbitant When they divert us from or distract us in our dutys so that our intercourse with heaven is stopt and interrupted by them How long can we sit alone musing upon a dead Creature Here our thoughts easily flow but how hard to fix them upon the living God! When our hearts should be in heaven with our Christ they are in the grave with our dead May not many afflicted souls justly complain that their troubles have takenaway their Christ from them I mean as to sweet sensible communion and laid the dead child in his room Poor Creature cease to weep any longer for thy dead Relation and weep rather for thy dead heart Is this thy compliance with Gods design in afflicting thee What to grow a greater stranger to him than before Or is this the way to thy cure and comfort in affliction
vain and useless complaints of our misery or the dirt of sinful and wicked complaints of the dealings of the Lord with us The rod of affliction goes round and visits all sorts of persons without difference It is upon the Tabernacles of the just and of the unjust the righteous and the wicked both are mourning under the rod. The godly are not so to be minded as that the other be wholly neglected they have as strong and tender though not as regular affections to their Relations and must not be wholly suffered to sink under their unrelieved burthens Here therefore I must have respect to two sorts of persons whom I find in tears upon the same account I mean the loss of their dear Relations the Regenerate and the unregenerate I am a debtor to both and shall endeavour their support and assistance for even the unregenerate call for our help and pitty and must not be neglected and wholly slighted in their afflictions We must pitty them that can't pitty themselves The Law of God commands us to help a beast if fallen under its burden How much more a man sinking under a load of sorrow I confess uses of comfort to the unregenerate are not ordinarily in use among us and it may seem strange whence any thing of support should be drawn for them that have no special interest in Christ or the promises I confess also I find my self under great disadvantages for this work I cannot offer them those reviving cordials that are contained in Christ and the covenant for Gods afflicted people but yet such is the goodness of God even to his enemies that they are not left wholly without supports or means to allay their Sorrow If this therefore be thy case who readest these lines afflicted and unsanctified mourning bitterly for thy dead friends and more cause to mourn for thy dead soul Christless and graceless as well as childless or friendless no comfort in hand nor yet in hope full of trouble and no vent by prayer or faith to ease thy heart Poor creature thy case is sad but yet do not wholly sink and suffer thy self to be swallowed up of grief thou hast laid thy dear one in the grave yet throw not thy self head-long into the grave after him that will not be the way to remedy thy misery but sit down a while and ponder these three things First That of all persons in the World thou hast most reason to be tender over thy life and health and careful to preserve it for if thy troubles destroy thee thou art eternally lost undone for ever Worldly sorrow saith the Apostle works death And if it works thy death it works thy damnation also for Hell follows that pale horse Revel 6. 8. If a believer dyes there 's no danger of Hell to him the second death hath no power over him but wo to thee if it overtake thee in thy sin beware therefore what thou dost against thy health and life Don't put the candle of sorrow too near that thread by which thou hangest over the mouth of Hell O its far better to be childless or friendless on earth than hopeless and remediless in hell Secondly Own and admire the bounty and goodness of God manifested to thee in this affliction that when death came into thy family to smite and carry off one it had not fallen to thy lot to be the person thy Husband Wife or Child is taken and thou art left Had thy name been in the Commission thou hadst been now past hope O the sparing mercy of God! the wonderful long suffering of God towards thee Possibly that poor creature that is gone never provoked God as thou hast done thy poor child never abused mercies neglected calls treasur'd up the thousandth part of that guilt thou hast done So that thou mightest well immagine it should rather have cut thee down that hadst so provoked God than thy poor little one But oh the admirable patience of God! Oh the riches of long suffering Thou art only warned not smitten by it Is there nothing in this worth thy thankful acknowledgement Is it not better to be in black for another on earth than in the blackness of darkness for ever Is it not easier to go to the grave with thy dead friend and weep there than to go to hell among the damned where there is weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth Thirdly This affliction for which thou mournest may be the greatest mercy to thee that ever yet befel thee in this world God hath now made thy heart soft by trouble shewed thee the vanity of this World and what a poor trifle it is which thou madest thy happiness There is now a dark cloud spread over all thy worldly comforts Now O now if the Lord would but strike in with this affliction and by it open thine eyes to see thy deplorable state and take off thy heart for ever from the vain world which thou now seest hath nothing in it and cause thee to chuse Christ the only abiding good for thy portion If now thy affliction may but bring thy sin to remembrance and thy dead friend may but bring thee to a sense of thy dead soul which is as cold to God and spiritual things as his body is to thee and more loathsome in his eyes than that corps is or shortly will be to the eyes of men Then this day is certainly a day of the greatest mercy that ever yet thou sawest O happy death that shall prove life to thy soul. Why this is sometimes the way of the Lord with men Job 36. 8 9. If they be bound in fetters and helden in cords of affliction then he sheweth them their work and their transgression that they have exceeded he openeth also their ear to discipline and commandeth them that they return from iniquity O Consider poor pensive creature that which stole away thy heart from God is now gone That which eat up thy time and thoughts that there was no room for God soul or eternity in them is gone All the vain expectations thou raisedst up to thy self from that poor creature which now lyes in the dust are in one day perished O what an advantage hast thou now for heaven beyond what ever thou yet hadst If God will but bless this rod thou wilt have cause to keep many a thanksgiving day for this day I pray let these three things be pondred by you I can bestow no more comforts upon you your condition bars the best comforts from you they belong to the people of God and you have yet nothing to do with them I shall therefore turn from you to them and present some choicer comforts to them to whom they properly belong which may be of great use to you in reading if it be but to convince you of the blessed priviledge and state of the people of God in the greatest plunges of troubles in this world and what advantages their interest in Christ gives
I beseech you the time of your childs continuance in the womb was fixed to a minute by the Lord and when the parturient fulness of that time was come Were you not willing it should be delivered thence into the world The tender Mother would not have it abide one minute longer in the womb how well soever she loved it And is there not the same reason we should be willing when Gods appointed time is come to have it delivered by death out of this state which in respect of the life of Heaven is but as the life of a child in the womb to its life in the open world And let none say that the death of children is a premature death God hath waies to ripen them for Heaven whom he intends to gather thither betimes which we know not In respect of fitness they dye in a full age though they be cut off in the bud of their time He that appointed the seasons of the year appointed the seasons of our comfort in Relations and as those seasons cannot be altered no more can these All the course of providence is guided by an unalterable decree what falls out casually to our apprehension yet falls out necessarily in respect of Gods appointment O therefore be quieted in it this must needs be as it is 4. Consid. Hath God smitten your darling and taken away the delight of your eyes with his stroke Bear this stroke with patience and quiet submission for how know you but your trouble might have been greater from the life than it is now from the death of your children Sad experience made a holy man once to say It s better weep for ten dead children than for one living child a living child may prove a continual dropping yea a continual dying to the parents heart What a sad word was that of David to Abishai 2 Sam. 16. 11. Behold saith he my Son which came out of my bowels seeketh my life I remember Seneca in his consolatory Epistle to his friend Marullus brings in his friend thus aggravating the death of his child O saith Marullus Had my child lived with me to how great modesty gravity and prodence might my discipline have formed and moulded him But saith Seneca which is more to be feared he might have been as others mostly are for look saith he what children come even out of the worthiest families such who exercise both their own and others lusts in all whose life there is not a day without the mark of some notorious wickedness upon it I know your tender love to your children will scarce admit such jealousies of them they are for present sweet lovely innocent companions and you doubt not but by your care of their education and prayer for them they might have been the joy of your hearts Why doubtless Esan when he was little and in his tender age promised as much comfort to his parents as Jacob did and I question not but Isaac and Rebecca a gracious pair spent as many prayers and bestowed as many holy councels upon him as they did upon his brother But when the child grew up to riper years then he became a sharp affliction to his Parents for it s said in Gen. 26. 34. That when Esau was forty years old he took to wife Judith the daughter of Berith the Hittite which was a grief of mind to Isaac and Rebecca The word in the original comes from a root that signifies to imbitter This child imbittered the minds of his parents by his rebellion against them and despising their councells And I cannot doubt but Abraham disciplin'd his family as strictly as any of you never man received an higher encomium from God upon that account Gen. 18. 19. I know him that he will command his children and his houshold after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord. Nor can I think but he bestowed as many and as frequent prayers for his children and particularly for his Ishmael as any of you We find one and that a very pathetical one recorded Gen. 17. 18. O that Ishmael might live before thee and yet you know how he proved a son that yeilded him no more comfort than Esau did to Jacob and Rebeccah O how much more common is it for parents to see the vices and evils of their children than their vertues and graces And where one parent lives to rejoice in beholding the grace of God shining forth in the life of his child there are twenty it may be an hundred that live to behold to their vexation and grief the workings of corruption in them It is a note of Plutarch in his Morals Niocles saith he lived not to see the noble Victory obtained by Themistocles his Son Nor Miltiades to see the battle his Son Cimon wan in the field Nor Zantippus to hear his Son Pericles Preach and make Orations Ariston never heard his Son Plato's lectures and disputations But men saith he commonly live to see their children fall a Gaming Revelling Drinking and Whoring multitudes live to see such things to their sorrow And if thou be a gracious soul O what a cut would this be to thy very heart to see those as David spake of his Absolom that came out of thy bowels to be sinning against God that God whom thou lovest and whose honour is dearer to thee than thy very life But admit they should prove civil and hopeful children yet mightest thou not live to see more misery come upon them than thou couldst endure to see O think what a sad and doleful sight was that to Zedekiah Jer. 50. 10. The King of Babilon brought his children and slew them before his eyes Horrid spectacle and that leads to the 5. Consid. How know you but by this stroke which you so lament God hath taken them away from the evil to come It is Gods usual way when some extraordinary calamities are coming upon the world to hide some of his weak and tender ones out of the way by death Isa. 57. 1 2. He leaves some and removes others but taketh care for the security of all He provided a grave for Methuselah before the flood The grave is an hiding place to some and God sees it better for them to be under ground than above ground in such evil dayes Just as a careful and tender Father who hath a Son abroad at school hearing the Plague is broken out in or near the place sends his Horse presently to fetch home his Son before the danger and difficulty be greater Death is our Fathers pale Horse which he fends to fetch home his tender children and carry them out of harms way Surely when National calamities are drawing on it s far better for our friends to be in the grave in peace than exposed to the miseries and distresss that are here which is the meaning of Jer. 22. 10. Weep not for the dead neither bemoan him but weep for him that goeth away for he shall return no
work under the blessing and influence of the Covenant to your eternal good you would not only be quiet but thankful for that which now so much afflicts and troubles you now Thirdly This Covenant is not only well ordered in all things but sure the mercies contained in it are called the sure mercies of David Isa. 55. 3. Now how sweet how seasonable a support doth this consideration give to Gods afflicted under the rod You lately made your selves sure of that creature-comfort which hath forsaken you It may be you said of your child which is now gone as Lamech said of his Son Noah Gen. 5. 29. This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toyl of our hands Meaning that his Son should not only comfort them by assisting them in the work of their hands but in enjoying the fruit of their toil and pains for him Probably such thoughts you have had and raised up to your selves great expectations of comfort in your old age from it but now you see you built upon the sand And where were you now if you had not a firmer bottom to build upon But blessed be God the Covenant-mercies are more sure and solid God Christ and heaven never start or fade as these things do The sweetest creature enjoyments you ever had or have in this world cannot say to you as your God doth I will never leave thee nor forsake thee You must part with your dear Husbands how well soever you love them you must bid adieu to the wife of your bosom how nearly soever your affections be linked and heart delighted in her Your children and you must be separated though they be to you as your own soul. But though these vanish away blessed be God there is something that abides Though all flesh be as grass and the goodliness of it as the flower of the grass though the grass withereth and the flower thereof fadeth because the spirit of the Lord bloweth upon it yet the word of our God shall stand for ever Isa. 40. 6 7 8. There is so much of supported contain in this one consideration that could but your faith fix here to reallize and apply it I might lay down my pen at this period and say the work is done there needs no more 9. Consid. The hope of the Resurrection should powerfully restrain all excesses of sorrow in those that do profess it Let them only mourn without measure who mourn without hope The husbandman doth not mourn when he casts his seed-corn into the earth because he sows in hope and commits it to the ground with an expectation to receive it again with improvement Why thus stands the case here and just so the Apostle states it 1 Thes. 4. 13 14. But I would not have you to be ignorant brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye sorrow not even as others which have no hope for if we believe that Jesus dyed and rose again even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him Q. D. Look not upon the dead as a lost generation Think not that death hath annihilated and utterly destroyed them O no they are not dead but only asleep and if they sleep they shall awake again You don't use to make out-cries and Lamentations for your children and friends when you find them asleep upon their beds Why Death is but a longer sleep out of which they shall as surely awake as ever they did in the morning in this world I have often wondered at that Golden sentence in Seneca My thoughts of the dead saith he are not as others are I have fair and pleasant apprehensions of them for I enjoyed them as one that reckoned I must part with them and I part with them as one that makes account to have them He speaks no doubt of that enjoyment of them which his pleasant contemplations of their vertuous actions could give him for he was wholly unacquainted with the comfortable and heart-supporting doctrine of the Resurrection Had he known the advantages which result thence at what a rate may we think he would have spoken of the dead and of their state But this you profess to believe and yet sink at a strange rate O suffer not Gentilism to out-vye Christianity Let not Pagans challenge the greatest believers to out-do them in a quiet and chearful behaviour under afflictions I beseech thee Reader if thy deceased friend have left thee any sollid ground of hope that he dyed interessed in Christ and the Covenant that thou wilt distinctly ponder these admirable supports which the doctrine of the Resurrection affords First That the same body which was so pleasant a spectacle to thee shall be restored again yea the same numerically as well as the same specifically so that it shall not only be the what it was but the who he was These eyes shall behold him and not another Job 19. 27. c. The very same body you laid or are now to lay in the grave shall be restored again Thou shalt find thine own husband wife child or friend again I say the self same and not another Secondly And farther this is supporting that as you shall see the same person that was so dear to you So you shall know them to be the same that were once endeared to you on earth in so near a tye of Relation Indeed you shall know them no more in any carnal Relation death dissolved that bond But you shall know them to be such as once were your dear Relations in this world and be able to single them out among that great multitude and say This was my Father Mother Husband Wife or Child This was the person for whom I wept and made supplication who was an instrument of good to me or to whose salvation God then made me instrumental For we may allow in that state all that knowledge which is cumulative and perfective whatsoever may enlarge and heighten our felicity and satisfaction as this must needs be allowed to do Luthers judgement in this point being by his friends asked at supper the evening before he dyed replyed thus What said he befel Adam He never saw Eve but was in a deep sleep when God formed her yet when he awaked and saw her he asked not What she was nor whence she came But saith she was flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone now how knew he that He being full of the holy Ghost and endued with the knowledge of God spake thus After the same manner we also shall be in the other life renewed by Christ and shall know our parents our wives and children And this among other things was that with which Augustine comforted the Lady Italica after the death of her dear husband telling her that she should know him in the world to come amongst the glorified Saints Yea and a greater than either of these I mean Paul comforted himself that the Thessalonians whom he had converted to Christ should
be His joy and Crown of rejoycing in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ at his coming 1 Thes. 2. 19 20. which must needs imply his distinct knowledge of them in that day which must be many hundred years after death had separated them from each other Whether this knowledge shall be by the glorified eyes discerning any lineaments or property of individuation remaining upon the glorified bodies of our Relations or whether it shall be by immediate revelation as Adam knew his wife or as Peter James and John knew Moses and Elias in the Mount as it is difficult to determine so it is needless to puzel our selves about it It is the concurrent judgement of sound Divines and it wants not countenance from Scripture and reason that such a knowledge of them shall be in Heaven and then the sadness of this parting will be abundantly recompensed by the joy of that meeting Especially considering Thirdly That at your next meeting they shall be unspeakably more desirable sweet and excellent than ever they were in this world They had a desirableness in them here but yet they were not altogether lovely and in every respect desirable they had their infirmities both natural and moral but all these are removed in Heaven and for ever done away No natural infirmities hang about glorified bodies nor sinful ones upon perfected spirits of the just Oh what lovely creatures will they appear to you then when that which is sown now in dishonour shall be raised in honour 1 Cor. 15. And then to Crown all Fourthly You shall have an everlasting enjoyment of them in Heaven never to part again The children of the Resurrection can dye no more Luk. 20. 36. You shall kiss their pale lips and cold cheeks no more you shall never fear another parting pull but be together with the Lord for ever 1 Thes. 4. 17. And this the Apostle thought an effectual Cordial in this case when he exhorted the Thessalonians to comfort one another with these words 10. Consid. The present felicity into which all that dye in Christ are presently admitted should abundantly comfort Christians over the death of such as either carried a lively hope out of the world with them or have left good grounds of such an hope behind them Some there are that carried a lively hope to heaven with them who could evidence to themselves and friends their interest in Christ and in the Covenant Yea though they had dyed in silence yet their conversations would speak for them and the tenour of their lives leave no ground of doubting touching their death others dying in their infancy or youth though they carried not such an actual hope with them yet they have left good grounds of hope behind them Parents now ponder these grounds you have prayed for them you have many times wrestled with the Lord on their behalf you have taken hold of Gods Covenant for them as well as for your selves and dedicated them to the Lord and they have not by any actions of theirs destroyed those grounds of your hope but that you may with much probability conclude they are with God Why if the case be so what abundant reason have you to be quiet and well satisfied with what God hath done Can they be better than where they are Had you better provisions and entertainments for them here than their heavenly Father hath above There is no Christian parent in the world but would rejoyce to see his child out-strip and get before him in grace that he may be more eminent in parts and service than ever he was And what reason can be given why we should not as much rejoyce to see our children get before us in glory as in grace They are gotten to heaven a few years before you and is that matter of mourning Would not your child if he were not ignorant of you say as Christ did to his friends a little before his death when he saw them cast down at the thoughts of parting Joh. 14. 28. If ye loved me ye would rejoyce because I go unto the Father q. d. Do you valew your own sensible comfort from my bodily presence with you before my glory and advancement in heaven Is this love to me Or is it not rather self-love So would your departed friend say to you you have professed much love all along to me my happiness seemed to be very dear to you How comes it to pass then that you mourn so exceedingly now This is rather the effect of a fond and fleshly than of rational and spiritual love If ye loved me with a pure spiritual love ye would rejoyce that I am gone to my Father It 's infinitely better for me to be here than with you on earth under sin and sorrow Weep not for me but for your selves Alas though you want your friends company he wants not yours Your care was to provide for this child but Jesus Christ hath provided infinitely better for it than you could you intended an Estate but he a Kingdom for it you thought upon such or such a match but Christ hath forbid all others and married your child to himself Would you imagine an higher preferment for the fruit of your bodies A King from heaven hath sent for your friend and do you grudge at the journey O think and think again what an honour it is to you that Christ hath taken them out of your bosom and laid them in his own stript them out of those garments you provided and cloathed them in white robes washed in the blood of the Lamb. Let not your hearts be troubled rather rejoyce exceedingly that God made you instruments to replenish heaven and bring forth an heir for the Kingdom of God Your child is now glorifying God in an higher way than you can and what though you have lost its bodily presence for a time yet I hope you don't reckon that to be your loss which turns to Gods greater glory When Jacob heard his Joseph was Lord of Egypt he rather wisht himself with Joseph than his Joseph with him in wants and straights So should it be with you You are yet rowling and tossing upon a tempestuous Sea but your friend is gone into the quiet harbour desire rather to be there then that he were at Sea again with you II. Consid. Consider how vain a thing all your trouble and self-vexation is it no way betters your case nor eases your burthen As a Bullock by wrestling and sweating in the furrow may make his yoak to be more heavy gall his neck and spend his strength the sooner but no way helps himself by that Why thus stands the case with thee if thou be as a Bullock unaccustomed to the yoak What Christ saith of caring we may say of grieving Mat. 6. 27. Which of you by taking thought can add one Cubit to his stature Cares may break our sleep yea break our hearts but they cannot add to our stature either in a natural or
a shameful thing for a Christian to be reproved for such an uncomely expression by an Heathen It 's enough to make us blush to read what an Heathen said in this case Never say thou hast lost any thing saith Epictetus but that it 's returned Is thy Son dead he is only restored Is thy inheritance taken from thee It is also returned And a while after he adds 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 i. e. Let every thing be as the Gods will have it 2. Answer It 's no fit expression to say you have lost all in one except that one be Christ and he being once yours can never be lost Doubtless your meaning is you have lost all your comfort of that kind And what though you have are there not multitudes of comforts yet remaining of a higher kind and more precious and durable nature If you have no more of that sort yet so long as you have better what cause have you to rejoyce 3. Answer You too much imitate the way of the world in this complaint they know not how to repair the loss of one comfort but by another of the same nature which must be put in its room to fill up the vacancy But have you no other way to supply your loss Have you not a God to fill the place of any creature that leaves you Surely this would better become a man whose portion is in this life than one that professes God is his all in all 5. Plea O but my only One is not only taken away but there remains no expectation or probability of any more I must now look upon my self as a dry tree never to take comfort in children any more which is a cutting thought 1. Answer Suppose what you say that you have no hope or expectation of another child remaining to you yet if you have a hope of better things than children you have no reason to be cast down bless God for higher and better hopes than these in Isa. 56. 4 5. the Lord comforts them that had no expectation of sons or daughters with this That he will give unto them in his house and within his walls a place and a name better than of Sons or of Daughters even an everlasting name that shall not be cut off There are better mercies and higher hopes than these though your hopes of children or from children should be cut off yet if your eternal hopes be secure and such as shall not make you ashamed you should not be so cast down 2. Answer If God will not have your comfort to lye any more in children then resolve to place them in himself and you shall never find cause to complain of loss by such an exchange You will find that in God which is not to be had in the creature one hours communion with him shall give you that which the happiest Parent never yet had from his children you will exchange brass for gold perishing vanity for solid and abiding excellency 6. Plea But the suddenness of the stroke is amazing God gave little or no warning to prepare for this tryal Death executed its commission as soon as it open'd it My dear Husband Wife or Child was snatcht unexpectedly out of my arms by a surprizing stroke and this makes my stroke heavier than my complaint 1. Answer That the death of your Relation was so sudden and surprizing was much your own fault who ought to have lived in the daily sense of its vanity and expectation of your separation from it you knew it to be a dying comfort in its best estate and it is no such wonderful thing to see that dead which we knew before to be dying Besides you heard the changes ringing round about you in other families you frequently saw other Parents Husbands and Wives carrying forth their dead And what were all these but warnings given you to prepare for the like tryals Surely then it was your own security and regardlesness that made this affliction so surprizing to you and who is to be blamed for that you know 2. Answer There is much difference betwixt the sudden death of infants and that of grown persons The latter may have much work to do many sins actually to repent of and many evidences of their interest in Christ to examine and clear in order to their more comfortable death and so sudden death may be deprecated by them But the case of Infants who exercise not their reason is far different they have no such work to do but are purely passive all that is done in order to their salvation is done by God immediately upon them and so it comes all to one whether their death be more quick or more slow 3. Answer You complain of the suddenness of the stroke but another will be ready to say had my friend died in that manner my affliction had been nothing to what it now is I have seen many deaths contrived into one I saw the gradual approaches of it upon my dear Relation who felt every tread of death as it came on towards him who often cryed with Job Chap. 3. 20. Wherefore is light given to him that is in misery and life to the bitter in soul which long for death but it cometh it not and dig for it more than for hid treasures which rejoyce exceedingly and are glad when they can find the grave That which you reckon the sting of your affliction others would have reckoned a favour and priviledge How many tender Parents and other Relations who loved their friends as dearly as your selves have been forced to their knees upon no other errand but this to beg the Lord to hasten the separation and put an end to that sorrow which to them was much greater than the sorrow for the dead 7. Plea You press me to moderation of sorrows and I know I ought to shew it but you don't know how the case stands with me there 's a sting in this affliction that none feels but my self And oh how intollerable is it now I neglected proper means in season to preserve life or miscarried in the use of means I now see such a neglect or such a mistake about the means as I cannot but judge greatly to contribute to that sad loss which I now too late lament O my negligence O my rashness and inconsiderateness How doth my Conscience now smite me for my folly and by this aggravate my burthen beyond what is usually felt by others Had I seasonably apply'd my self to the use of proper means and kept strictly to such courses and counsels as those that are able and skilful might have prescribed I might have now had a living Husband Wife or Child whereas I am now not only bereaved but am apt to think I have bereaved my self of them Surely there is no sorrow like unto my sorrow 1. Answer Though it be an evil to neglect and slight the means ordained by God for recovery of health yet it 's no less evil to ascribe