But wo is me my sins are as many as the Sands and as mighty as the Mountains Their weight is greater than their number It were better that the Rocks and the Mountains should fall upon me than the crushing and insupportable load of my own sins Lord I am heavy loaden let mercy help or I am gone Unload me of this heavy guilt this sinking load or I am crâ—â—hed without â—ope and must be pressed down to Hell. If my grief were thorowly weighed and my sins laid in the balances together they would be heavier than the Sand of the Sea therefore my words are swallowed up They would weigh down all the rocks and the hills and turn the balance against all the Isles of the Farthâ— O Lord thou knowest my manifold transgressions and my mighty sins Ah my Soul Alas my Glory Whither art thou humbled Once the Glory of the Creation and the Image of God now a Lump of filthiness a Coffin of rottenness replenished with stench and loathsomness O what work hath sin made with thee thou shalt be termed Forsaken and all the rooms of thy faculties Desolate and the name that thou shalt be called by is Ichabod or Where is the Glory How art thou come down mightily My Beauty is turned into deformity and my Glory into shame Lord what a loathsome Leper am I The Ulcerous Bodies of Iob or Lazarus were not more offensive to the eyes and nostrils of men than I must needs be to the most holy God whose eyes cannot behold iniquity And what misery have my sins brought upon me Lord what a case am I in Sold under sin cast out of Gods favour accursed from the Lord cursed in my body cursed in my soul cursed in my name in my estate my relations and all that I have My sins are unpardoned and my â—oul within a step of death Alas What shall I do Whither shall I go Which way shall I look God is frowning on me from above Hell gaping for me beneath Conscience smiting me within temptations and dangers surrounding me without Oh whither shall I flee What place can hide me from Omnisciency What power can secure me from Omnipotency What meanest thou O my soul to go on thus Art thou in league with Hell Hast thou made a Covenant with Death Art thou in love with thy misery Is it good for thee to be here Alas what shall I do Shall I go on in my sinful ways Why then certain damnation will be mine end and shall I be â—o besotted and bemadded as to go and sell my soul to the flames for a little Ale and a little ease for a little pleasure or gain or content to my flesh Shall I linger any longer in this wretched estate No if I tarry here I shall die What then Is there no help no hope None except I turn Why but is there any remedy for such woful misery Any mercy after such provoking iniquity Yes as sure as God's Oath is true I shall have pardon and mercy yet if presently unfeignedly and unreservedly I turn by Christ to him Why then I thank thee upon the bended knees of my soul O most merciful Jehovah that thy Patience hath waited upon me hitherto For hadst thou took me away in this estate I had perished for ever And now I adore thy grace and accept the offers of thy mercy I renounce all my sins and resolve by thy grace to set my self against them and to follow thee in holiness and righteousness all the days of my life Who am I Lord that I should make any claim unto thee or have any part or portion in thee who am not worthy to lick up the dust of thy feet ' Yet since thou holdest forth the golden Scepter I am bold to come and touch To despair would be to disparage thy mercy and to stand off when thou biddest me come would be at once to undo my self and rebel against thee under the pretence of humility Therefore I bow my soul to thee and with all possible thankfulness accept thee as mine and give up my self to thee as thine Thou shalt be Soveraign over me my King and my God Thou shalt be in the Throne and all my powers shall bow to thee they shall come and worship before thy feet Thou shalt be my Portion O Lord and I will rest in thee Thou callest for my heart O that it were any way fit for thine acceptance I am unworthy O Lord everlastingly unworthy to be thine But since thou wilt have it so I freely give up my heart to thee Take it it is thine Oh that it were better But Lord I put it into thine hand who alone canst mend it Mould it after thine own heart make it as thou wouldst have it holy humble heavenly soft tender flexible and write thy Law upon it Come Lord Jesus come quickly Enter in triumphantly take me up to thee for ever I give up to thee I come to thee as the only way to the Father as the only Mediator the means ordained to bring me to God. I have desâ—royed my self but in thee is my help Save Lord or else I perish I come to thee with the rope about my Neck I am worthy to die and to be damned Never was the hire more due to the servant never was penny more due to the labourer then Death and Hell my just wages is due to 〈◊〉 for my sins But I fly to thy merits I trust alone to the value and virtue of thy Sacrifice and prevaâ—â—â—cy of thine intercession I submit to thy teaching â— make choice of thy Government Stand open 〈…〉 doors that the King of Glory may come in O thou spirit of the most high the comforter and sanctifier of thy chosen come in with all thy glorious train all thy courtly 〈◊〉 thy fruits and graces Let â—â—e be thine habitacion â— I can give 〈◊〉 But what is thine 〈◊〉 already but here with the poor Widdow I casâ— my two miâ—es my soul and my body into thy treasury fully resigning them up to tâ—â—â—e to be sanctified by thee to be servants to thee They it all â—e thy Patients Cure thou their Malady they shall be thy Agents Govern thou their Moâ—â—câ—s Too long have I served the world too long have I hearkned to Satan but now I renounce them all and will be ruled by thy Dictates and Directions and guided by thy Counsel O blessed Trinity O glorious Unity I deliver up my self to thee receive me write thy name O Lord upon me and upon all that I have as thy proper goods Set thy mark upon me upon every member of my body and every faculty of my soul. I have chosen thy precepts Thy law will I lay before me This shall be the Copy which I will keep in my eye and study to write after According to this rule do I resolve by thy Grace to walk After this law shall my whole man be governed And though I cannot perfectly keep one
very Elect. Now that I may cure the damnable mistakes of some who think they are converted when they are not as well as remove the troubles and fears of others that think they are not converted when they are I shall shew you the nature of conversion both negatively or what it is not and positively what it is We will begin with the Negative 1. It is not the taâ—ing on us the Profession of Christianity Doubtless Christianity is more than a name If we will hear Paul it lies not in word but in powerâ— 1 Cor. 4. 20. if to cease to be Jews and Pagans and to pâ—t on the Christian Profession had been true Conversionâ— as this is all that some would have to be understood by it who better Christians than they of Sardis and Laodicea These were all Christians by profession and had a name to live but because they had but a name are condemned by Christ and threatned to be spewed out Rev. 3. 1. 16. Are there not many that name the name of the Lord Jesus that yet depart not from iniquity 2 Tim. 2. 19. and profess they know God but in works deny him Tit. 1. 16. And will God receive these for true converts because turned to the Christian Religion What converts from sin when yet they do live in sin 'T is a visible contradiction Surely if the lamp of profession would have served the turn the foolish Virgins had never been shut out Mat. 25. 3 12. We find not only professors but Preachers of Christ and Wonder-workers turned off because evil workers Mat. 7. 22 23. 2. It is not the being washed in the laver of Regeneration or putting on the badge of Christ in baptism Many take the press-money and wear the Livery of Christ that yet never stand to their colours nor follow their leader Ananias and Saphira and Magus were baptized as well as the rest How fondly do many mistake here deceiving and being deceived dreaming that effectual grace is necessarily tied to the external administration of Baptism which what is it but to revive the Popish Tenent of the Sacraments working grace ex opere operato and so every Infant should be regenerated not only Sacramento tenus sacramentally but really and properly Hence men do fancy that being regenerated already when baptized they need no further work But if this were so then all that were baptized in their infancy must necessarily be saved because the promise of pardon and salvation is made to conversion and regeneration Acts 3. 19. 1 Pet. 3. 4. Mat. 19. 28. Our Calling Sanctification as to the beginnings of it on Conversion which are but the same thing under different conceptions and expressions is but a middle link in the golden chain fastned to election at the one end and glorification at the other Rom. 8. 30. 2 Thes. 2. 13. 1 Pet. 1. 2. The silver cord may not be broken nor the connexion between Sanctification and Salvation between grace and glory impiously violated Mat. 5. 8. if we were indeed begotten again it is to an inheritance incorruptible reserved in heaven for us and the divine power is engaged to keep us for it 1 Pet. 1. 5. And if the very regenerate may perish at last in their sins we will no more say that he that is born of God his seed remaineth in him and that he cannot sin 1 Ioh. 3. 9. i. e. unto death nor that it is impossible to deceive the very elect Mat. 24. 24. And indeed were this true then we need look no farther to see our names written in Heaven than only to search the Register and see whether we were baptized then I would keep the certificate of my baptism as my fairest evidence for Heaven and should come by assurance of my gracious state with a wet finger then men should do well to carry but a certificate of their baptism under the Registers hand when they died as the Philosopher would be buried with the Bishops Bond in his hand which he had given him for receiving his alms in another world and upon sight of this there were no doubt of their admission into Heaven In short if there be no more necessary to conversion or regeneration than to be turned to the Christian Religion or to be baptized in infancy this will flie directly in the face of that Scripture Mat. 7. 14. as well as multitudes of others For first we will then no more say strait is the gate and narrow is the way for if all that are baptized and of true Religion are saved the door is become heavenly wide and we will henceforth say wide is the gate and broad is the way that leadeth unto life for if this be true whole Parishes yea whole Countries and whole Kingdoms may go in a breast and we will no more teach that the righteous is scarcely saved or that there is need of such a stir in taking the Kingdom of Heaven by violence and striving to enter in Surely if the way be so easie as many make it that there is little more necessary than to be regenerated in our baptism and cry God mercy and be absolved by the Minister at our end 't is more ado than needs to put our selves to such running and seeking and knocking and fighting and wrestling as the word requires as necessary to Salvation Secondly if this be true we will no more say Few there be that find it yea we will rather say Few there be that miss it we will no more say that of the many that are called but few are chosen Mat. 22. 14. and that even of the professing Israel but a remnant shall be saved Rom. 11. 5. If this Doctrine be true we will not say any more with the Disciples Who then shall be saved but rather who then shall not be saved Then if a man be called a brother that is a Christian and be baptized though he be a fornicator or a â—ailer or covetous or a drunkard yet he shall inherit the Kingdom of God 1 Cor. 5. 11. 1 Cor. 6. 9 10. But the Arminian will reply such as these though they did receive regenerating grace in Baptism are since fallen away and must be renewed again or else they cannot be saved I answer 1. That there is an infallible connexion between regeneration and salvation as we have already shewed and I itch to be farther evidencing but that 't is against designed brevity 2. Then men must be born again which carrys a great deal of absurdity in its very face And why may not men be twice born in nature as well as in grace Why not as great an absurdity to be twice regenerated as to be twice generated But 3. and above all This grants however the thing I contend for that what ever men do or pretend to receive in baptism if they be sound afterwards to be grosly ignorant or profane or formal without the power of godliness they must be born again or else be shut out of the
art all inrolled and covered with its odious filth whereby thou art rendred more displeasing to the pure and holy nature of the glorious God than the most filthy object composed of whatever is hateful to all thy senses can be to thee Iob 15. 15 16. Couldst thou take up a Toad into thy bosom Couldst thou cherish it and take delight in it Why thou art as contrary to the pure and perfect holiness of the divine nature and as loathsome as that is to thee Mat. 3. 33. tilâ— thou art purified by the blood of Jesus and the power of renewing grace Above all other sins fix the eye of Considerationâ— on these two 1. The sin of thy nature 'T is to little purpose to lop the branches while the root of original corruption remains untouched In vain do men lave out the streams when the fountain is running that fills up all again Let the Axe of thy repentance with David's go to the root of sin Psal. 51. 5. Study how deep how close how permanent is thy natural pollution how universal it is till thou dost cry out with Paul's â—eeâ—â—ng upon thy body of death Rom. 7. 2. Look into all thy parts and powers and see what unclean vessels what fiâ—es what dunghills what sinks they are become Heâ— miser quid sum vas ster quilimi 〈…〉 faetore horrorc August 〈◊〉 c. 2. The heart is never soundly broken till throughly convinced of the heinousness of original sin Here fix thy thoughts This is that that makes thee backward to all good prone to all evil Rom. 7. 15. that sheds blindness pride prejudice unbelief into thy mind enmitâ— unconstancy obstinacy into thy will inordinate heats and colds into thy affections insensibleness benummedness unfaithfulness into thy conscience slipperiness into thy memory and in a word hath put every wheel of thy soul out of order and made it of an habitation of holiness to become a very hell of iniquity Iames 3. 6. This is that that hath defiled corrupted perverted all thy members and turned them into weapons of unrighteousness and servants of sin Rom. 6. 19. that hath filled the head with carnal and corrupt designs Mic. 2. 1. the hand with sinful practices Isa. 1. 15. the eyes with wandring and wantonness 2 Pet. 2. 14. the tongue with deadly poison Iames 3. 8. that hath opened the ears to tales flattery and filthy communication and shut them against the instruction of life Zech. 7. 11â— 12. and hath rendred thy heart a very mint and forge for sin and the cursed womb of all deadly conceptions Mat. 15. 16. So that it poureth forth its wickedness without ceasing 2 Pet. 2. 14. even as naturally freely and unweariedly as a fountain doth pour forth its waters Ier. 6. 7. or the raging Sea doth cast forth mire and dirt Isa. 57. 20. And wilt thou yet be in love with thy self and tell us any longer of thy good heart O never leave meditating on this desperate contagion of original corruption till with Eâ—hraim thou bemoan thy self Ier. 31. 18. and with deepest shame and sorrow smite on thy breast as the Publican Luke 18. 13. and with Iob abhor thy self and repent in dust and ashes Iob 42. 6 22. The particular evil that thou art most addicted to Find out all its aggravations Set home upon thy heart all Gods threatnings against it Repentance drives before it the whole herd but especially sticks the arrow in the beloved sin and singles this out above the rest to run it down Psal. 18. 23. O labour to make this sin odious to thy soul and double thy guards and thy resolutions against it because this hath and doth most dishonour God and endanger thee Direct III. Strive to affect thy heart with a deep sense of thy present misery Read over the foregoing Chapter again and again and get it out of the Book into thine heart Remember when thou liest down that for ought thou knowest thou mayst awake in flames and when thou risest up that by the next night thou mayst make thy bed in Hell. Is it a just matter to live in such a fearful case to stand tottering upon the brink of the bottomless Pit and to live at the mercy of every disease that if it will but fall upon thee will send thee forthwith into the burnings Suppose thou sawest a condemned wretch hanging oveâ— Nebuchadnezzar's burning fiery furnace by nothing but a twine thread which were ready to break every moment would not thine heart tremble for such an one Why thou art the man This is thy very case O man woman that readest this if thou be yet unconverted What if the thred of thy life should break Why thou knowest not but it may be the next night yea the next moment where wouldst thou be then Whither wouldst thou drop Verily upon the crack but of this thred thou fallest into the lake that burneth with Fire and Brimstone where thou must lie scalding and sweltering in a fiery Ocean while God hath a Being if thou die in thy present Case And doth not thy soul tremble as thou readest Do not thy tears bedew the paper and thy heart throb in thy bosom Dost thou not yet begin to smite on thy breast and bethink thy self what need thou hast of a change O what is thy heart made of Hast thou not only lost all regard to God but art without any love and pity to thy self O study thy misery till thy heart do cry out for Christ as earnestly as ever a drowning man did for a Boar or the wounded for a Chirurgeon Men must come to see the danger and feel the smart of their deadly sores and sickness or else Christ will be to them a Physician of no value Mat. 9. 12. Then the man-slayer hastens to the City of refuge when pursued by the avenger of blood Men must be even forced and fired out of themselves or else they will not come to Christ. â—Twas distress and extremity that made the Prodigal think of returning Luke 1â— 16 17. While Lâ—â—oâ—icea thinks her self rich increased in goods in need of nothing there is little hope She must be deeply convinced of her wretchedness blindness poverty nakedness before she will come to Christ for his gold raiment eye-salve Rev 3. 17 18. Therefore hold the eyes of conscience open amplifie thy misery as much as possible Do not flie the sight of it for fear it should fill thee with terror The sense of thy misery is but as it were the suppuration of the wounâ— which is necessary to the Cure. Better â—ear the torments that abide thee now than feel them hereafter Direct IV. Settle it upon thy heart that thou art under an everlasting inability ever to recover thy self Never think thy praying reading hearing conâ—â—â—sing amending will do the Cure. These must be attended but thou art undone if thou restest in them Rom. 10. 3. Thou art a lost man if thou hopest to escape drowning upon any other plankâ— but
Silver c. Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God Prov. 2. 3 4 5. Is not here a fair offer Turn you at my reproof Behold I will pour out my Spirit unto you Prov. 1. 23. Though of your selves you can do nothing yet you may do all through his Spirit enabling you and he doth offer assistance to you God bids you wash and make you clean Isa. 1. 16. you say you are unable as much as the Lâ—â—pard to wash out his spots Ier. 13. 23. yea but the Lord doth offer to purge you so that if you be fiâ—thy still 't is through your own wilfulness Ezek. 24. 13. I have purged thee and thou wast not purged Jer. 13. 27. O Jerusalem wilt thou not be made clean when shall it once be God doth wait when you will be made clean when you will yield to his motions and accept of his offers and let him do for and in you what you cannot do for your selves You do not know how much God will do upon your importunity if you will but be restless and instant with him Luke 11. 8. and 18. 5. If God hath not bound himself by express promise to wicked men to give them grace in the diligent use of the means yet he hath given them abundant encouragement to expect it from him if they seek it earnestly in his way His most gracious nature is abundant encouragement If a rich and most bountiful man should see thee in misery and bid thee come to his door wouldst thou not with confidence expect at thy coming to find some relief Thou art not able to believe nor repent God appoints thee to use such and such means in order to thy obtaining faith and repentance doth not this argue that God will bestow these upon thee if thou doest ply him diligently in prayer meditation reading hearing self-examination and the rest of his means Otherwise God should but mock his poor creatures to put them upon there self-denying endeavours and then when they have put hard to it and continued waiting upon him for grace deny them at last Surely if a sweet natured man would not deal thus much less will the most merciful and gracious God. I intended to have added many other arguments but these have swoln under my hands and I hope the judicious reader will rather look upon the weight than the number The Conclusion of the whole AND now my brethren let me know your minds What do you intend to do Will you go on and die or will you set upon a thorow and speedy conversion and lay hold on eternal life how long will you linger in Sodom how long will you halt between two opinions 1 Kings 18. 21. Are you not yet resolved whether Christ or Barabbas whether Bliss or Torment whether the land of Cabul 1 Kings 9. 13. or the Paradise of God be the better choice Is it a disputable case whether the Abana and Pharâ—har of Daâ—â—â—us be better than all the streams of Eden or whether the vile puddle of sin be to be preferred before the water of life clear as Cristal proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb Can the world in good earnest do that for you that Christ can Will it stand by you to eternity Will pleasures titles lands treasures descend with you Psal. 49. 17. 1. Tim. 6. 7. If not had you not need look after somewhat that will What mean you to stand wavering to be off and on Foolish Children how long will you stick between the womb and the world Shall I leave you at last no farther than Agrippa but almost perswaded Why you are for ever lost if left here As good not at all as not altogether Christians You are half of the mind to give over your former negligent life and to set to a strict and holy course you could wish you were as some others be and could do as they can do How long will you rest in idle wishes and fruitless purposes When will you come to a fixed full and firm resolve Do not you see how Satan gulls you by tâ—mpting you to delays How long hath he toll'd you on in the way of perdition How many years have you been purposing posing to amend What if God should have taken you off this while Well put me not off with a dilatory answer Tell me not of hereafter I must have your present consent If you be not now resolved while the Lord is treating with you and wooing of you much less are you like to be hereafter when these impressions are worn out and you are hardened through the deceitfulness of sin Will you give me your hands Will you set open the doors and give the Lord Jesus the full and present possession Will you put your names into his Covenant Will you subscribe What do you resolve upon If you are still upon your delays my labour is lost and all is like to come to nothing Fain I would that you should now put in your adventures Come cast in your Lot make your choice Now is the accepted time now is the day of thy salvation to day if you will hear his voice Why should not this be the day from whence thou shouldest be able to date thine happiness Why shouldest thou venture a day longer in this dangerous and dreadful condition What if God should this night require thy soul O that thou mightest know in this thy day the things that belong unto thy peace before they be hid from thine eyes Luke 19. 42. This is thy day and 't is but a day Iohn 9. 4. Others have had their day and have received their doom and now art thou brought upon the stage of this world here to act thy part for a whole eternity Remember thou art now upon thy good behaviour for everlasting If thou make not a wise choice now thou art undone for ever Look what thy present choice is such must thine eternal condition be Luke 10. 42. Luke 16. 25. Prov. 1. 27 28 29. And is it true indeed is life and death at thy choice yea 't is as true as truth is Deut. 30. 19. why then what hinders but that thou shouldest be happy Nothing doth or can hinder but thine own wilful neglect or refusal It was the passage of the Eunuch to Philip See here is water what doth hinder me to be baptized So I may say to thee see here is Christ here is mercy pardon life what hinders but that thou shouldst be pardoned and saved One of the Martyrs as he was praying at the stake had his pardon set by in a box which indeed he refused deservedly because upon unworthy terms But here the terms are most honourable and easie O sinner wilt thou burn with thy pardon by thee Why do but forthwith give up thy consent to Christ to renounce thy sins deny thy self take up the Yoak and the Cross and thou carriest the day Christ is thine