him a breath a little Scene to Monarchize be fear'd and kill with looks infusing into him with self and vain conceit as if the Flesh which walls about his life were Brass impregnable but being a little while humoured thus Comes Death at last and with a little Pin Bores through his Castle Walls and farewel King What though it does appear We came in with the Conqueror Impartial Death will no Excuses hear Valour and Wit Magnificence and State Are sorry Pleas to unrelenting Fate Which quickly will this fatal truth evince How little less a Beggar 's than a Prince One way or other all must die The Peasant and the Crowned Head The same dark Path must tread And in the same cold Earth both undistinguisht lie Whilest the sad Soul her Voyage takes Through gloomy Fens and Stygtan Lakes Vnable to procure a longer stay Into Eternal Exile sails away Now he that seeks satisfaction in the highest enjoyments in the World as in Honours and Grandeur of Condition how soon does his mind nauseate the Pleasures of it and how quickly does he feel the thinness of a popular breath Those that are so fond of Applause while they pursue it how little do they taste it when they have it like Lightning it flashes on the Face and is quickly gone and 't is a wonder if it leaves not a blast behind it 'T is true it is fit and necessary that some Persons in the World should be in love with a splendid Servitude yet certainly they must be much beholding to their own fancy that they can be pleased at it For he that rises up early and goes to Bed late only to receive Addresses to read and answer Petitions is really as much tied and abridged in his freedom as he that waits all that time to present one In a word if it is a pleasure to be envy'd and shot at to be malign'd standing and to be despised falling and to endeavour that which is impossible which is to please all and to suffer for not doing it then is it a pleasure to be Great These are Truths verified by the best of Demonstration which is the woful Experience of the highest Favourites of Fortune in all Ages Let Seneca speak for all in his incomparable Ode on this Subject In truth says he to see our Kings sit all alone at Table environ'd with so many Servants prating about them and so many Strangers staring upon them as they always are I have often been moved rather to pity than to envy their Condition It would never sink into my fancy that it could be of any great benefit to the Life of a Man of sence to have twenty People prating about him when he is at Stool So that in truth the advantages of Sovereignty are upon the matter little more than imaginary Well I have thought on 't and I find This busie World is nonsence all I here despair to please my mind Her sweetest Honey is so mixt with Gall. Well then I 'll try how 't is to be alone Live to my self a while and be my own Here in this shady lovely Grove I sweetly Think my hours away Neither with Business vext nor Love Which in the World bear such tyrannick sway Let Plots and News embroil the State Pray what 's that to my Books and me What ever be the Kingdoms fate Here I 'm sure to enjoy a Monarchy Lord of my self accontable to none Like the first Man in Paradise alone Th' uneasie Pageantry of State And all the plagues to thought and sence Are far removed I 'm plac'd by fate Out of the Road of all Impertinence Thus though my fleeting Life run swiftly on 'T will not be short because 't is all my own Then let us go and talk of Wills and not of Births and Grandure And yet not so for what can we bequeath save our dull Bodies to the ground our Lands and Lives if we are Loyal are the King 's and nothing can we call our own but Death and that small model of the barren Earth which serves as Paste and Cover to our Bones And thus Reader you see many Liberties may be taken in a private condition that are dangerous in a publick I can walk alone where I please without a Sword without Fear without Company I can go and come eat and drink without being taken notice of What with our open and secret Enemies we are never secure but these are the Infelicities and Miseries of Courts not of Cottages Servitude is the Fate of Palaces What are Crowns and Scepters but Golden Fetters and Splendid Miseries which if Men did but truly understand there would be more Kingdoms than Kings to govern them A great Fortune is a great Slavery and Thrones are but uneasie Seats If Heaven shall vouchsafe me such a Blessing that I may enjoy my Grotta with content I can look upon all the great Kingdoms of the Earth a so many little Birds-Nests And I can in such a Territory prude my self as much as Alexander did when he fancied the whole World to be one great City and his Camp the Castle of it If I were advanced to the Zenith of Honour I am at the best but a Porter constellated to carry up and down the World a vile Carkass I confess my Mind the nobler part of me now and then takes a walk in the large Campaign of Heaven and there I contemplate the Vniverse the Mysterious Concatenation of Causes and the stupendious Efforts of the Almighty in consideration whereof I can chearfully bid 〈◊〉 to the World Depone hoc apud te nunquam plus agere Sapientem quam cum in conspectu ejus Divina atque Humana venerunt You will find by Experience which is the best Looking-glass of Wisdom that a private Life is not only more pleasant but more happy than any Princely State Then Happy the Man who his whole time doth bound With th' inclosure of his little ground Happy the Man whom the same humble place Th' Hereditary Cottage of his Race From his first rising Infancy has known And by degrees sees gently bending down With natural propension to that Earth Which both preserv'd his Life and gave him Birth Him no false distant Lights by Fortune set Could ever into foolish Wandrings get He never Danger either saw or fear'd The dreadful Storms at Sea he never heard He never heard the shrill Alarms of War Or the worse Noises of the Lawyers Barr No change of Consuls marks to him the Year The change of Seasons is his Callender The Cold and Heat Winter and Summer shows Autumn by Fruits and Spring by Flowers he knows He measures Time by Land-marks and has found For the whole Day the Dial of his Ground This Man the Day by his own Orb doth prize In the same Field his Sun doth set and rise He knows an Oak a Twig and walking thither Beholds a Wood and he grown up together A neighbouring Elm born with himself he sees And
might fall a tearing the Guts of this Lyon some of whose Body must pass into the Dogs as well as other only thro' it This Dog might come home with the Gentleman agen and at length coming to some untimely end his Noble Carcass lye rotting in the Fields which very place being fatned with his corrupted Carcass might produce some Tuffs of larger Grass than ordinary wherein undoubtedly wou'd be included some Particles of the poor deceased Creature which Particles might very easily be devour'd by some fat Ox or Weather grazing there allured by the length and beauty of the grass and so become part of this Sheep or Oxe and they agen being brought to the Spacious Table of some of my Worthy Ancestors might Communicate the same Subtile parts of the Grass the Sheep the Oxe the Dog the Lyon to their Treâ—chers thence to their Mouth Stomach Blood and in two removes more to their Son and Heir so from Generation to Generation till at last all center'd in the Lyon like Evander This I say may be and Graver folks than he have made a huge splutter with such a kind of business but I am apt to think between Friends if there be any thing in 't that most of the Lyoness Particles rambled somewhere else to another Branch of the Family and that more of the Sheep the gentle Lamb or such harmless innocent Creatures Rambled into my Composition for though I find enough of the Lyon in my Soul yet this Treacherous Body will quake and tremble at the approach of Danger And I find a strong Inclination to bleat for Succour tho' still all that know me know the very Character I give my self is and I shou'd be best acquainted sure with my own self That I ne're saw fear butâ—iâ— the Face of an Enemy I cou'd as easily prove one Leg of me may have Rambled out of a Whale and a piece of my left Hip from the Shoulder-blade of an Elephant for might not some of my Grandfathers be left in Greenland we have been Travellers of old and there forc'd to eat Whalesritters or not to go so far who knows but after the Elephant was burnt in the Booth I tell no lyes every body knows this is true the Dirt and Rubbish might be thrown out in the Fields where Pease might be afterwards Sown and so a piece of the Elephant brought home to Evanders Table in a Dish of Green-Pease Now all the difficulty here will be whether or no I use to eat Green-Pease but for the Truth of this I Appeal to Stocks-Market and all the Neighbours And so I 'm got home agen but must immediately take a Journey to Graffham my well-beloved Town of Graffham and find my self in my Mothers Belly just Rambled out of nothing or next to 't nôthing like what I am now into a little live thing hardly as big as a Nit. Should I tell you as the virtuosi do that I was shaped at first like a Todpole and that I remember very well when my Tail Rambled off and a pair of little Legs sprung out in the room on 't Nay shou'd I protest I pulled out my Note-book and slap-dash'd it down the very minute after it happen'd let me see so many Days Hours and seconds after Conception yet this Infidel World wou'd hardly believe me and therefore I 'll Advance nothing but what carries Demonstration in the Teeth on 't and will make them believe in spight of their Noses I say then that as soon as my Mother quicken'd I began to Ramble with a witness were she alive she 'd swear it however not to trouble the World with a company of not very sweet Depositions to that purpose for be it known I 'm no Prince of Wales 't is an infallible mark that I was alive because I am so and am ready to enter the Lists with any who shall Dispute to the contrary But there did I keep such a â—ossing and tumbling frisking and Rambling and shifting a-sides and turning about from one place to t'other that after nine Months my Mother cou'd endure it no longer but out she turns me and abroad I Rambled into the wide World CHAP. II. My second Ramble into the World and out on 't and in again c. First mark how the Banâ—ling to all outward appearing When he first came to Life was as dead as a Herring NOW here am I most abominably puzled and if my freedom lay upon 't could not for my Blood resolve what to do I had to confess the Truth prepar'd a great many sparkling notions pleasant Fancies neaâ— Thoughts and whole Bushels of Flowers to welcom my coming into the World I had Collected many a fine passage and well-turned Period as concerning Life and all the Conveniences Inconveniences Pleasure and Pain on 't which could not have fail'd of Ministring abundant Diversion and Profit to the well-disposed Reader But how to lug it in ay there 's all the Craft what 's a Man the better for having two Hogsheads at the Door For look ye now and do but consider my case I could cry I 'm so pull'd and tormented to talk of Life and all those pretty things that I intended how I lookt abroad when I first saw the Light found the Bâ—bby and all that but first the Brandy-bottle by the Light of Nature and laughed in my Nurses Face I say to talk of this when one was Dead-born looks a little like a Figure in Rhetorick called Nonsence and yet where to stick it in if I â—lip this Opportunity I can't for my Life imagin The Poet 't is true has done both and by a pretty Oximoron expressed my Sence extreamly well When he first came to Life was as dead as a Herring but then he fastens that too with what goes before he was only so to all outward appearing and that we know is fallacious but alas we Prose Authors are ty'd up more strictly and must write with greater Gravity and clearer Consistency or else Envy will be presently upon our Bones Ha I have found the way I have it I won't take Ten pound for my Thought Mark ye me Mr. Reader I 'll suppose I was born alive for you know a Man may suppose what he will I may suppose my self a Conjurer or you a Rhinoceros And upon that supposal I can most handsomly and expeditiously drive in all the Rambling thoughts I had a mind to supposing then that I liv'd two or three hours after I was Dead-born and then dy'd agen O Life Life What a whim thou art Thou art a perfect Evander no body knows what to make of thee Thou art one tedious Ramble from nothing to something tho' that something is next to nothing Life is a troubled troublesom and tempestuous Sea a meer Irish Ocean we take Shipping at our Birth with tears we Sail over it with Care Fear Sorrow Hope sometimes worse than all the other three the Whirlwinds that blow us thro' it and at last with Sighs and
Groans we land at the Port of Death Life is no better than the Drudge of Fate and seems only sent into the World to keep Death in Employment and twist threds for the fatal Sisters that they many n't want work to cut 'em off agen That Rattle which Children cry for and Men despise which no Man but 's fond of such Children we are and yet scarce any but has wished to be rid on 't How often have I thought on the Advice of the Indians to their New-born Children Infant Thou comest into the World to suffer Suffer and hold thy peace How often with a sad Melancholy pleasure have I reflected on that Ingenious Poem I have somewhere seen on this Subject I. How soon doth Man decay When Cloaths are taken from a Chest of sweets To Swaddle Infants whose young Breath Scarce knows the way Those Clowts are little Winding-Sheets Which do consign and spurt them on to Death II. When Boys go first to Bed They step into their voluntary Graves Sleep binds them fast only their Breath Makes them not Dead Successive Nights like rolling Waves Convey them quickly who are bound for Death III. When Youth is frank and free And calls for Musick while his veins do swell All day exchanging Mirth and Breath In Company That Music Summonâ— to the Knell That tolls his passage to the House of Death IV. When Man grows Staid and Wise Getting a House and Home where he may move Within the Circle of his Breâ—â—h Schooling his Eyes That dumb enclosure maketh Love Vnto the Coffin that attends his Death V. When Age grows low and weak Marking his Grave and thâ—â—ing every year Till all do melt and drown his Breath When he would speak A Chair or Litter shows the Beer On which hee 'll Travel to the House of Death VI. Man e're he is aware Hath wander'd quite through a Solemnity And drest his Hâ—rse whâ—â—e he hath Breath As yet to spare Then now so may we learn to dye That all these dyings may be Life in Death Now the Reader will think me a meer Tâ—ravian thus to Celebrate my own Nativity with Tears But I cannot avoid it when e're I reflect what a nasty World I then came into how crowded with Fools and Knaves how much pain for a little tast of what we can 〈◊〉 How the greatest part on 't is an arrant cheat and a mischievous one besides how little a while we generally stay in â—t and yet how unfit to go out on 't all these Reflections are now so strongly imprinted on my mind that indeed I wonder how I could be perswaded to come abroad into Light and had not the innate Sympathetical Love I had for Rambling even before I know what either that or my self was toll'd me on I might possibly have staid as long in my Mother's Lodgings as the Physitians tell us the Child of a certain French Woman did who went sixteen years before she was Delivered Yet all this Whineing Whimpering and hanging an will do no good turn out I must and abroad I Rambled on the 4th day of May A. D. 1659. Then then was the time when the good Women brought my Father the joyful News of a Son and Heir after he had for five years despaired of them both The Reader won't be so unconscionable sure to think I should give him an account what pleasant sparkling Discourse pass'd among the Gossips and Midwiâ—e how they read my Fortunes and gave their Judgments How the Burnt-Claret Rambled about and the poor groaning Cheese Gammons of Bacon and Neatsâ—Fongue suffered for 't no that I cant nor won't do for two Reasons First Because â—â—were below the gravity of such a Discourse Secondly Because they made such a hideous noise I could not tell a word they said Thirdly Because I had not my Pen and Ink about me to take Notes for I don't find i' the Register that I was born with one in my Hand though as you have been cold already I think I 've had one there almost ever since and I â—are not burden my Memory with so many passages or write what I am n't assured of its Truth But to omit six or seven and twenty Reasons between for Brevities sake One and thirtiethly beloved because I was dead born and can't remember one word on 't to save my Life And what hurt would it be while in this Condition if I entertain the Reader with a doleful Ditty or two on this my sudden departure before ever I came hither 1. So the Infant Day does rise Guilding Hills and painting Skyes Till some envious pregnant Cloud Does its blooming Glories shrow'd 2. So a short-liv'd Winters Sun Sets almost as soon's begun Weeping Heaven laments its fall Mourning Earth its Funeral 3. So a Rose-bud does prepare To Salute the calmer Air Till some Envious Northern Gust Rends and spreads it in the Dust. 4. Such bright Infant was thy Birth Such thy Parents Ioy and Mirth Roses Suns and Days can be But a Meiosis of thee 5. Such fair being if so fair All thy Guardian Angels were Hide their Wings and they 'll be stil'd Brothers to the lovely Child Whilst if he had Wingedbin All would think him Seraphim Humh this Poetry and Flattery are inseparable but Reader there must be grains of allowance you must consider if I am called a Cherubim or Seraphim he only means a mortal one besides I had then never had the Small-Pox which you know makes a considerable difference both in Beauty of Men and Women and moreover Age makes such odds in the same Face that you 'd swear it did not belong to the same person for in your thoughts now to compare the little muling Infant of an hour Old and a span Long little enough to be put every scrap of me into a Quart-pot as I really then was To compare that little Evander and this great Evander now the Cares of the World Travel and Age has alter'd him and he looks not so Cherubinically as he did then you 'd hardly believe He was he and I my self am ready to cry out when I look in the Glass and these Verses together as Hellen did Ego non sum Ego But there was an Epitaph made more merry and less partial only the two last Verses seem added by some latter Hand or else the Poet had the gift of Prophesie they are these Here lyes a pretty little Knave In 's Cradle dressing room and Grave Tho' over-small not over-hot For 't is a Quort-pot He winks while he bury'd lyes Least dusty Dust fly into his Eyes Which makes him ever since to wink When he goes to drink Well methinks I have bin dead an unreasonable while strike up Fidler as in Rehearsal for I can lye no longer away Rambles my Nurse good Woman Father and all to a certain Quackess in the next Parish Where he 's Born in a Coach for a Cart was not handy And an old Woman fetcht him agen with good
upon such another She was the pattern of Wives Queen of Mothers best of Friends and indeed as my Father used to say truly of her had all the Virtues of her Sex in her little Finger what had she then think ye all her Body over To say more than all she was a very Iris only a few years older and well worthy to be the Mother of Evander were he but as worthy to be her Son Nay but she shan't think to scape without some Poetry on her Death No all my Relations shall know what 't is to have a Poet kin to ' em She did she did I saw her mount the Skye And with new Whiteness paint the Galaxy Heaven her methought with all its Eyes did view And yet acknow'edg'd all its Eyes too few Methought I saw in crouds bless'd Spirits meet And with loud Welcomes her arrival greet Which cou'd they grieve had gone with grief away To see a Soul more white more pure than thâ—y Earth was unworthy such a prize as this Only a while Heaven let us share the bliss c. There are a great many more of 'em but I don't love to gorge the Reader whom I rather chuse always to leave with a Relish for his next Meal I 'll only borrow his Patience and a Friends Wit for an Epitaph and then let her rest 'till she and I wake together Here lies Don Evander's Mother Death e're thou kill'â—t such another Fair and good and wise as she Time shall throw a Dart at thee In the last Chapter I had clean forgot to give you the History of the second Globe which having such a direct aspect on the Body of all the following Relation and the Epitome of my Life ought by no means to be omitted There you may see if you 'll take the pains but to turn over to the Frontispiece my old Crone of a Nurse ay and such a Nurse as I 'd not envy Iupiter his she-goat who suckled him in a kind of Rapture and Prophecy presenting the Furniture of my future Life the Tools I was to set up with in the universal Trade of Rambling a Hobby Horse which you 'll see will one of these days cast his Tail and have four Leggs start out in the room on 't A pair of little Boots yet a great deal too big for my little Leggs A Staff for sometimes I paid it on Ten-toes tho' that has a stronger twang of Sancho than his Master and is directly against the most sacred Rules of Knight Errantry and never to be done unless in a Pilgrimage or on a Vow never more to bestride a Horse agen 'till that of the flaming Gyant Sir Fundermundando's won in Mortal Battel as you may read at large in Don Bellianis of Greece or the seven Champions But I don't well understand what comes after there seems a little malicious sting i' the Tail on 't A Sword too it may be Why does he think I 'll Ramble without a Sword or does he make a may be on 't whether I shall ever have one of my own Now dare I venture a shoulder of Mutton to a penny Commons that 't was some Shcollard or other writ these Verses who finding at the University they had but one Sword belonging to one Colledge and a pair of Boots between three more which they ride out with by turns while the other stay at home in their own defence concluded strait that things went at the same rate all the World over No Sir Author as pert as you are I tell you I have a Sword of my own and that those may know too who know me or you either Sir I 'll assure ye Sir for my Friends Cause is my own and 't is at your Service Sir whenever you please to make use of it Being thus provided and equipp'd Cap-a-pe in a Travellers Garb Pen and Ink i' one Pocket and Bread and Cheese i' t'other not in specie No Heroes don't use to be mean but in a parcel of Gray-Groats and Edward Shillings ty'd up i' the corner of my Handkerchief my Daddy and I turn'd one side upon Graffham the place of my Birth and away we troopt to another where we had more business but I war'nt ye I have Wit enough to keep all close and not let you know what 't was this however I care not if I tell you that the very hopes of Rambling the Prospect of seeing a new Part of the World or indeed a New World to me striking upon the strings of my Soul before wound to the same pitch made most charming Musick and had you seen then the young Evander who now he sets up for Rambling indeed does a new thing and gets a Horse-back is resolv'd to have a New Name too and henceforth when he thinks fit be call'd KAINOPHILVS had you but seen what a brisk Air he then put on how lively and rosie he lookt how sweet and how charming well but I say no more being I say about to leave my beloved Graffham I can't but give you and Posterity some account of it as my famous Predecessor Coriat did of Odcomb which indeed does strangely agree with the Place of my Nativity But the Excellencies of it being too large to be contain'd in a corner or crowded up in a piece of a Chapter they shall have a whole one to themselves that immediately following CHAP. IV. The Description of The fine Town of Graffham the best i' the Shire on 't And a famous Town 't is if you ever did hear on 't FRom henceforward Reader don't expect I shou'd give every distinct Ramble a distinct Chapter for truly I can't afford it any longer for the Chapters being heavy things and the Rambles brisk little airy Creatures the last run away so fast and scamper about at such a mad rate that the first do what they can can't keep pace with 'em being besides a great many one still begetting another and running all different ways from one another O but Graffham my dear Graffham I han't forgot thee No sooner shall my Toes forget the use of Rambling my Fingers of Writing or my Teeth of eating I am resolv'd to write thy Memoirs with all the accuracy possible both for thy sake and my own First and mainly indeed that after Ages may know where I was born and what place was first so happy to claim my Nativity nor leave Graffham Aston Chessham London Boston Colâ—n Amsterdam and half a hundred Places more a quarreling for me to fifty Generations hence as the Cities of Greece do for Homer Graffham was the Place but what was this Graffham I 'll tell you if you have Patience but have a Care of Envy The least I can say in its Praise is this If wholsome Air Earth Woods and pleasant Springs Are Elements whereby a Town is grac'd If strong and stately Bowers Contentment brings Such is the Town of Graffham and so plac'd There Nature Art Art Nature hath embrac'd Without within below aloft
meet him agen as oft as you reflect how often those filthy Fellows have bin peeping in ' em well I 'm heartily glad I e're learnt to write if 't were for no other end than thus to paint these grim Fellows to the World in their own Colours and those as stinking ones as they e're made me paint my Breeches with Thus will I them whip strip and quarter Who my poor Buttocks once did martyr Alas that 's not the way to deal with humane Nature there requires a great deal of art to form such tender things as youth I 'm very confident the Reason why we speak no more Latin nor more fluently in England is because these Intendants of School-Masters Dragoon us thus out of our Mother Tongue they use us not like rational Creatures A Dog that is taught to fetch and carry has more sweet words and sewer sowre knocks and blows than we poor Curs generally meet withall which before we can come to tast the sweets of Learning and good Authors sets us against even what ever looks like a Book so that indeed I wonder how I came so much as to trade in ' em Not but that I iustly honour and respect those ingenious men who little other than devote themselves for their Countreys sake to beat Greek and Latin as Oldham wittily calls it and drive Learning if possible into such Block-heads as I was not Who by mild Arts and attempring their Methods to the disposition of the Lads they have to deal with can do more in four years with 'em than others in seven ten or ten hundred The Happiness of those Youth who fall into such hands is more than they are sensible of and 't is confess'd the Reason why so many Tyrants Fools and Dunces who usurp that honourable Employment is because the World has seldom wit enough to give such as are otherwise their due respect and encouragement However 't is happy was I when my Father took me home out of their Purgatory and taught me himself But first I must tell you what were my chiefest Rambles while in their Jurisdiction Two or three I had which were like to be very long ones I being just upon the Tiptoe to see my great Grandfathers One day while at School at Dungrove the place where I now boarded returning home about the time that Sols fiery footed Steeds began to make the Ocean hizz with thrusting their hoofs into 't being attended with all my play-fellows for they honoured me after we had embraced one another for we were civil and taken a kind Farewell which had like to have been our last As I was Rambling home by a stragling River that sneaks through the Town of Latmus and gazing sometimes on the lofty Hills and flowry Dales and sometimes on the stately Swans that did now in Triumph ride in the Sedgâ—s of the meandring Streams I think those Swans were Geese tho' to tell truth and by and by listning to those feather'd people that were warbling out their ravishing Ditties in a sullâ—n Grove and coo and coo unto each others moan Owls Cuckoes Phoenicopters Rooks and Phoenixes why just then all of a sudden before I cou'd say what 's this or knew where I was my Noddle now swimming with a million of Fancies as I alwayes had a very working Brain and I not minding my way in tumbled I into the River hugging the waves so tenderly you can't imagine But not to tell you what Discourse the Water-Nymphs and I had together how they took me down with 'em to their External Palaces and Sea-green dining Rooms all hung with watchet Silk and deckt with Corall and Mother o' Pearl I 'll warr'nt you the cheapest thing amongst it Not to puzzle or Gagg your belief with such odd Accidents this I 'm sure you 'll all credit that when I was under water I was in danger of drownding and had I continued there but one four and twenty hours I had certainly been dead to this day and there had been an end of Kainophilus and all his Rambles but as my better Stars wou'd have it who shou'd lie sleeping just by the water-side but one Mr. I. R. not Iames Rex but another whose Name begins with the same Letters methinks I have him still before my Eyes how he startled when I flounc'd into the Water thinking belike t 'had been some Spaniel Dog or other how after I was under Water he got upon his Breech rubbed his Eyes and lookt about him to see what was the matter for he has told me all the story since and lastly how he saw my Heels capering up like the Handle of a Milk-â—ail when carried away by the stream and catching me hold by the left Leg pull'd me out in spite of half a Tun of water both in my Cloaths and Belly and held me up by the Heels so long till I thought my Guts wou'd have dropt out at my Mouth or at least I should have gone to Stool at the wrong end Nor yet cou'd I find ' i' my heart to be angry with him so grateful is my Nature for thus saving my Life when I was within six Gasps precisely of feeding the Fishes I say precisely for sure I shou'd best know the measure of my own Belly for that must unavoidably have burst with six go-downs more of that uncomfortable Element So there 's an end o' that Ramble Fate held its own and he that is born to dye in his Bed shall ne're be drown'd But alas alas how various are the chances that assail us mortal men how constant is Fate in Inconstancy that Flower I had out of English Parnassus Another sad accident show'd I was Bullet-proof as well as water-Proof for playing with a particle of Lead by Liquefaction and Comprehension upon condensation metamorphiz'd into a globular Form or as I said before a Leaden-bullet not chawing it to shoot any body with on my honour the Pontcullis not being shut down close enough in it rolls at the Gate of my Stomach and stopt all passage of breath it self Now while I was snorting and snufling grunting and groaning When Death in Leaden slumbers hover'd ore My strength decay'd and I cou'd strive no more Then lo a-gentle Maid from Heav'n sent Thrâ—st down up Throat a natural Instrument Call'd her fore-finger and with many a thump Against my groaning back and sounding rump To her much joy and my no little pain Vp with a jerk the Bullet leapt again But think ye this is all no Death has n't yet done wi' me and I was just turning over by an odder whim than either of these For as I was expatiating in Dungrove Fields my Mind and Body rambling alike neither cared or knew whether I out of a Childish wantonness gathered a bearded Ear of Grass or Corn and put it into my Throat thrusting it down so far that when I went to pull it up again being against the grain there it stuck and might have done till 't had
is but a Slavery to sence a â—â—ndage to dull matter which tedders us down like our Brother Brâ—tes where we are not only exposed to want and misery but to all the Insules and Abuses possible to be inferr'd and impossible to be avoided Why then shou'd I not pull up the stake or get my Lock and Chain off and scamper away in the intermiâ—able Fields of the invisible World That Region of Spirits Reason Ease and Rest Cleombrotus Empedocles O how I eâ—â—y you who one rusht through the Fire t' other through the Water to reach Immortality o' t' other side on 't Those were envious Fools who fault the Sicilian Philosopher for plunging into Aeâ—â—a pretending he only did it for vain Glory to be accounted a God No 't was not that he might be so accounted but so be at least as like one as possible Impâ—ssible immaterial and wear out endless Durations as those above In undisturb'd and Everlasting Ease I have often wonder'd what makes us Fools so childishly fond of Life Life did I call it this Death I mean rather this Twilight-Battish kind of Being we rather are â—ondemn'd to then properly may be said to Enjoy KAINOPHILUS t is certain he has some of the best things that make up what even the wisest part of Mankind call Happiness He has a lovely Iris in his bosom in his Arms in his Heart 't is Natural for a young Lover to refect first upon that and we are neither of us old or were we so wou'd that ever quench that mâ—tual flame which will last as long as our Souls If he has not a lubberly Fortune such a Lumbâ—r of an Estatâ— as lugs him down to ground with carrying it about the world if he han't all the fancied Conveniences that some pride themselves so much in and yet want more still when they have 'em as those especially do who eagerly languisâ— for 'em e're they are enjoy'd if he has not a large Palace a great Coach nay not so much as a Colash or Chair to raise the Dust before him yet he has more Content without 'em and a many pretty little things which many others want and fancy they shou'd think themselves very happy in He 's neither rackt with Stone Gout nor a worse Disease he 's seldom discontent or uneasie Envys no Man hates no man wishes or does no injury to any other and as little as possible to himself Those little inconveniences he meets with here as a stranger must have some when out of his own Country he does not much fret at and yet keeps 'em in as much as possible without exposing himself and troubling others And upon the whole knows not any person in the World with whom he wou'd change Circumstances for altogether or whose condition he either Wishes or Envies And yet after all this he wishes himself condemn'd to eternal Exile and Confinement in this earthly Dungeon if he wou'dn't more chearfully the next moment leap into t' other World were all things there prepared for his Reception and he for that then he 'd either sleep when drowzy or rest when he 's weary Ware heads below then for my Hands are upon the Balisters as Temples on the side of the Boat and in half a Minute I shall sink down into everlasting repose But art thou sure of this Evander then indeed 't wou'd be worth the while Look over a little what thy warm Imagination has thrown in faster than Reason cou'd weigh it If a Man gives the Power of his Life away when he submits to any Government there 's a great deal of difference between Power and Act. He only submits to a higher Power than his own for the Preservation and Protection of his Life as well as of the whole Community not the Destruction of it Perhaps he is born under a Government already as all the World now are He does not here chuse Submission nor so much make as find it The very Essence of a Man loses nothing by the loss of a sick part but his very Frame is dissolved when the Essential Vnion of Soul and Body is once ruin'd The Body is rather fancied incurable in many cases than really so 'T is impossible in the deepest pain or misery to pronounce positively we shall ne'r be at Ease or never be Happy We often make great Matters of what others do and we ought to laugh at and despise and fancy a scratch of a Pin is a Mortal Wound We are not so tyed to sensible Object but we may whenwe please mount to those that are rational and Divine not that even those are to be contemn'd or disused the Body being an Essential part of the Man and has therefore suitable Objects provided to entertain it and must always have some way or other while 't is not a Carcase Those who leave a real certain good for one that 's uncertain are never reckon'd very wise Nay he that quits his post when order'd upon pain of Death to maintain it tho' for what he thinks a more advantagious one will hardly come off well with his General How unreasonable is't to expect the End without the Means or the close of a long Iourney without stepping one foot forwards This Life well spent is so much the way to a better that there 's no other to 't and if any by-way is found 't will only after long Wandrings bring you back agen faint and weary where you first set out or worse lead you where you lose both that and your self for ever Have I so many pretty Conveniences of Life and all strong Arguments they are to remain in 't the more contentedly and make me look the more ungrateful who despise ' em Then Live Evander Ay so I will you may trust me Hands off Come down Legs I won't turn such a Turk as to fly from the top of a Tower where I may civilly walk down Stairs Which I did and saw the Inscription round what I had been a top of This Protestant City c O how Envy there grinns out of Hell and another just before her to see it up agen I 'll undertake to know a Iesult or a Iacobite by bringing 'em to the Monument and pointing up to those words as easily as the Devil by his Cloven foot Look how they scowl and fret and swear 't is all as loud a Lye as the Gun-Powder Treason Let 'em be so kind to fret their Gills out if they think fit while Evander steps down to Old-Swan and takes Water Stay but 't is against Tide What if the Mills shou'd suck him in well consider'd An Elder-Brother's Thrid is generally twisted very tenderly I 'm off of such a long Ramble I 'll to the Stillyard The Tide runs strong 'T is good to be sure Come the three Cranes is but a little further or Queen-Hithe And now I 'm here 't is but edging to Black-Fryers Stairs and then there 's no danger Ay now let 's see sure now we
Countrey from 'em as well as the Dutch do theirs Towards so great and excellent a work that Prince of excellent hopes King Edward the sixth and this famous City of London have both proposed a very proper method and given a glorious Example They first sorted the Poor into several distinct Râ—nks and Orders The Poor by Impotency Casualty and Wickedness For the first sort they provided besides many other particular Alms-houses of particular Persons and Companies Christ-Church Hospital where so vast a number of Fatherless Children of both Sexes are so handsomely provided for For the second The Hospitals of St. Thomas in Southwark and St. Bartholomews in Smithfield For the third Bridewell the most necessary of all the three But now were I worthy to shoot my Fools bolt I shou'd think there 's yet very much wanting towards regulating this famous City and after their Example the whole Kingdom The first and main thing conducive to such a great end wou'd be a strict and just execution of those excellent Laws we already have against Vagrants and Vagabonds Gypseys and other strolling Ramblers who equally impose upon and injure their Countrey For were all such us were found young lusty and able to work for their Livings well â—hip'd out of their Lazyness we shou'd n't have so many swarms of those People pestring and exposing our Streets Churches Hedges and Roads as we have at present and are yet â—â—ke to have How many hundreds we might perhaps add another Cypher are there about London whose whole business and livelihood for themselves and Families is this way brought in whole Streets and Fraternities of 'em living together and nursing up a brood of Beggars from Generation to Generation Were these publick Work-houses provided to employ those sort of People Men and Women and Children for â—ome sort of work even the last wou'd be capable of how much more Honour and Strength and Profit wou'd it be to the City and Nation For those who are really impotent and incapable of working all the Reason in the World they shou'd be provided for and it might be worth the while to examine whether the Gains acquired by the work of the others might not be so improv'd as to maintain these without my charge to the State or at least but an inconsiderable one Not that all the publick Houses of this Nature are to be like Bedlam's In some Cases and Instances gâ—eat Cities are indeed to consult their Grandeur and Honour but for the most part Coâ—venience far outdoes Magnificence and the maintenance of perhaps a thousand wretches more in a comfortable being much more honourable than having a fine Portal built or the roof of a Hospital mounted a story or two higher But not to forget these miserable wretches who first occasion'd this Discourse the Prisoners for Debt with Submission to the Policy of almost all Mankind and all Ages it seems an odd sort of a Punishment to inflâ—ct the heaviest Pains next to Death it self namely perpetual Imprisonment on what is very often rather a misfortune than a crime in those who suffer it and that for no end not any good to be obtain'd by it If a Rogue run away with a great part of my Estate if another breaks or another Fire my house and ruines me why it looks very hard that for these miseries I must endure others and be confin'd to a stinking Dungeon all the days of my Life for what I did not cause and cannot remedy And then of those who are imprison'd in this manner is there one to ten who ever pays any thing the more nay don 't this generally make 'em desperate and careless whether ever they come out again or what they spend while they are there These as much deserve Pity and Charity aâ— another sort censure and punishment who when they have Estates or Trades carelesly lavish all away in leud or riotous living or else by their fully heedlesness and neglect of business and accounts waste away insensibly while a third more wicked than both get whatever Goods or Moneys they can possibly scrape together and ruâ— into Prison as into Garrison with all their Spoil not careing thereby how many industrious Families they inevitably ruine These last are infinitely worse than Robbery upon the High-way and I think deserve no less punishment But the only speedy way to prevent their villany would be effectually to root out all those Sanctuaries where they lurk The Mint White Friars c. For would any Forreigner believe that the wise and excellent Constitution of the English Government wou'd allow places within its Bosom where it has no power where its Writs and Officers are no more regarded than they 'd be in Iapan or China For the lesser sort of Bankrupts made so either by carelesness or Riot It might not be amiss as a good prevention to their poverty that the prudent Custom of some Nations were Enfranchis'd here namely examining how every Person lived at every years end by publick Censors to that end appointed at least all such as were suspect either of Sloth or Debauchery For such as offended on the worst side of the two after admonition Corporal punishment For the other a little more labour might in a great measure very much alter Affairs in a few years nor shou'd we in all likelihood have our Prisons so full or our Shops and Houses so empty Well if the World laughs and looks a squint at all this grave Council and painful thoughts which I have laid up together for their advantage not mine why then they been't worthy on 't and there 's an end while I Ramble on to somewhat else after I have dropt four Farthings into the old Shoe I was talking of and then left it as I found it And Ramble on to the Privy-Garden was n't that Kings Jester a merry Fellow who sold this pretty spot of Ground to Build upon and that Countrey Squire a very Countrey Squire who bought it of him Let 'em both alone to make up their Bargain as well as they can for we are now got into Whitehall nor won't so much as afford the poor desolate Popish Chapel one Ave Mary as we pass by it And what shall we stare upon here 'T is scarce worth the while to tell you when 't was Built and by whom and what 't was first call'd York Palace as it might have been afterwards when King Charles the Second liv'd in 't as well as before King Henry the Eighth being Burnt out of House and Home at Westminster remov'd his Lodgings thither Every one in 's way Let those who understand Architecture admire the Galleries the Banquetting-House or new Lodgings all which is like the English better than it looks for Let others admire the pleasant new Whiâ—ligig of a Weather cock erected before the Prince Landed on purpose to see when a Protestant Wind blew There are two things that please me infinitely more than all this or all the fine Pictures
SMALL POX that inveterate Enemy of good Faces and maul'd poor Evander at such an unmerciful rate that you wou'dn't know one snip of him agen so unlike did he soon grow to what he was before Hardly one twelve Months had been worn away in those Golden Chains of his Apprenticeship but he concluded Death was come to set him free for which he conn'd its lean Jaws no more thanks than the Old Man did who call'd it to ease him of his Bundle of Sticks No sooner I began to make Remarks and Observations and to know how good a Master I had but I thought I had lost him agen Instead of those sage and grave Notions that used to fill my Head 't was cramm'd top full of Whimseys and Whirligigs by the vehement agitation of my distemper'd Fancy as ever a Carkaseshell with Instruments of Death and Murder I was nothing but all Flame and Fire and the red-hot Thoughts glared about my Brains at such a rate and if visible wou'd I fancy have made just such a dreadful Appearance as the Window of a Glass-house discovers in a dark Night viz. a parcel of stragling fiery Globes marching about and hizzing appearing and vanishing high and low transverse and every where which at length in a few days blew up my Head like a Bottle and I had a Fire as uninterrupted and I think as hot as thnt we talk of rolling all over me boiling my very Bowels into Tripes and frying my poor Heart in its own Water till I fancy it looked like the broyl'd Soul of a Goose or a piece of Cheese tosted over the Candle When poor Evander drunk as my Nurse knows that was not often 't was like the slaking of Iron in Water or rather the Taylor 's spitting upon his Goose where the little drops of moisture only stink and sputter and fly off agen and I can hardly perswade my self but if any Virtuoso had out of curiosity listen'd at my Back-Door they might have easily heard the small Beer and Posset-drink hizz within me as it came down into my Bowels What a multitude of Visions Raptures and Revelations did I then see and enjoy and cou'd I but have manag'd my Pen then as well as now I might have clapt down Matter enough for a Book four and twenty times as long as all these Rambles But they 're lost to the World and there 's an end on 't tho' neither Rice Evans who foresaw the blessed holy Christian Court of K. Ch. the II. nor Mrs. Iames who prophesies as fine things from his Brother's cou'd ever have pretended to higher flights than the young Evander I foresaw Things that never was are or will be The Restauration of K. Iames and the Religion of his Friends and the Courage of the Irish with twenty thousand things more too tedious and strange to iâ—stance in But O my Face my Face Had my Brains been only â—â—rn'd topsy-turvy or my Wits lost by this Disease had my Eyes only been weaken'd obliging me on some occasions to wink ever after why all this might have been born by a Man that had read Seneca as a Fellow said in Cheapside when another took him a kick in the Br but to lose a good Face ay and such a Face as I lost 't is intolerable and I cou'd have found in my heart not to have liv'd afterward O that I had but Cowleys Verses on Madam Philips by me I remember he laments her hard Fate and the cruel ravage that scurvy lustful Disease made in her beauâ—eous Frame that I can hardly forbear thinking 't was writ for Evander and were I little less a man shou'd think he had mistaken the Names and writ Orinda instead of me Cowley well-minded we have had no Poetry all this whole live-long Book sure the World will think we are turn'd Quakers to wear all this Linnen as what else is Paper without any Lace upon 't Let 's tune up then with all speed and â—ncouple the biting Iambicks against this foul Disease the Small I mean Pox which has so transmogriphy'd Evander from Evander PAndora's Box Let loose the Pox To mawl us And with foul scratches Poor ugly wretches Bescrawl us An Envious Jade Thus to invade Fair Bodies And make 'em look Like Crow or Rook Which odd is Kainophilus All o re does blush To see it His Soul 't wou'd grate Did not hard Fate Decree it So fair a Face So sweet a Grace To lose thus Makes me my self Vnhappy Elf Abuse thus With Tooth and Nail And Tongue I rail At Fortune Revenge from Iove For Peace or Love Importune To make her dote Or cut her Throat Like Dido To make the Iade Wear Masquerade As I do But Wishes nought avail and seeing 't is no better 't is well 't is no worse I might have turned Fool as many others and then what wou'd have become of these Rambles But to be graver Is not that Man or Woman very near Dotage who either admire their own Fine Faces or aâ—e tormented at the loss of ' em Were the men all Evanders the Women all Iris's time mâ—ll come when they 'd look as ugly as Mother Shipton or a half-skinn'd Chapfaln Scull in a Charnel-house 'T is but a few days perhaps at least years sooner that this alteration must be made if Sickness had not done it before and saved Death the labour Supposing Beauty something real 't is bâ—t skin-deep and may be all scratch'd away in a moment If Proportion an â— Harmony 〈◊〉 a â—art of Beauty better have all the parts of the Face agree and be like one another than otherwise If 't is a Beauty to have some part of the Face black why not yet more to have it patch'd all over Truth is that Beauty is Fancy at least the most part on 't and as a person may well be angry and full as justly that they have lost a Lap-full of Guineas they dreamt of and imagin'd they were telling over or hugging the dear Bags that held 'em as to have lost that which is little more real than the other How common is't that what pleases one displeases another The most celebrated Beauties suit not all tho' as celebrated Iudges and Presbyter Iohn thinks himself as happy with his black arm-ful of Joy as the greatest Prince of the white World in the Embraces of the most snowy Ladies Is it so Why then Evander value not Beauty no more than that does thee If it does not like its old Habitation let it find a better and e'en stroll off about its business like a Gypsy Quean as 't is O that thou wer 't but as well rid of others as now of thy own while thou marchest about thine being well recover'd by the exquisite and never-sufficiently acknowledg`d kindness of the best of Masters and after tallowing thy Face and licking thy Lips scrubbing thy Thighs and clawing thy Haâ—nches as is usual in those Cases art return'd behind the Counter agen as
met with this Life but as an Earnest of the happier to come Certainly she never read of a Vertue which she did not forthwith put into act No greater Blessing could to Mortal fall I now methinks am Caesar Cresus all That we can happy or delightful call Had the Great Conqu'ror reacht the British shore And his victorious Arms had triumph'd o're This World of Bliss he ne're had wept for more A minute in her company entertains me with an age of Pleasure When I have it which is â—sually eight hours a day it puzzles my Soul to find subject for another Wish or to think of a Happiness that I do not enjoy 'T is all the Sweets of Life I have the Universal Globe in having Iris and in her company can sit and scorn the Splendour of a Crown And therefore my Body shall be hers and so intirely hers that never any but her self shall have part therein She shall not need to watch over my Fidelity because I shall be more jealous thereof than she can and if I should chance to offend therein my hand shall prevent both the Laws of God and Man in the revenge of so great a wrong And if Death permits me to survive her be assured that even to 〈◊〉 very Ashes I will keep a Body pure and 〈◊〉 inviolable for Separation shall never 〈◊〉 place in our Union which is too great to 〈◊〉 exampled Iris. Hold Vander or you 'll make me blush my self to death But know if you 're real I am resolved that Winters chilling Storms nor Summers scorching â—eat attended with the sharp contests of Poverty shall never part us Death it self in all its dismal 〈◊〉 is not of force to shake my fix'd determination Were all the Floods the Rivers and Seas that with their crooked arms embrace the Earth betwixt us I 'd â—ade through all and meet thee Were all the Alps heap'd on each others head were Pelion joyn'd to Oâ—â—a and they both thrown on Olympa's top they 〈◊〉 not make so high a Wall but I would scale 〈◊〉 find thee Vander. Iris thy singular kindness puts me in mind of Queen Elenor who accompanied her Husband Edward I. to the Holy-Land in which Voyage he being stabb'd by a Saracen with a poyson'd Dagger when no Medicine could extract the Poyson she did it with her Tongue licking daily while her Husband slept his rankling Wounds whereby they perfectly closed and yet her self received no harm So sovereign a Medicine said Speed is a Woman's Tongue anointed with the vertue of lovely Affection Pity it is faith Mr. Fuller such a pretty Story should not be true because then we might hear of one Woman's Tongue that hath done good But Iris you yet are young and have not â—â—rugled with Misfortunes nor contended with the World and therefore know not of what force they are consider how the tender Iris iâ— she Ramble with me as she says she will must be often forced to make the Ground her Bed and underneath some spreading Tree lye stretched exposed to all the injuries of Weather whâ—â—â— soft sleep flies from her careful Breast and she with sighs and groans is forc'd to wound the murmuring Air. Iris. If upon some bleak Mountains top whose covering is Snow and Globes of solid Ice where Winters lasting Tyranny still reigns you should be forced to make your Bed I 'd there repose This Arm should be your Pillow whilst your Iris your obedient Iris froze to your side witness the two hundred Garden Walks which surely you han't forgot Vander. Could you do this Yet think again and well consider that many sad Accidents may attend me in Travelling which you think not of and I may soon be summon'd to the Grave and should you be left alone in a strange Land and far from your Relations meet with much contempt and scorn abroad then will be the time of your repentance then you 'll blame that ill-starr'd day you left your Countrey and Friends for the company of Vander. Iris. Let not that trouble my Dear at all for when unfriendly Death with his cold Icy hand shall grasp your Life I 'll mourn much like a Widow-Turtle till in floods of swelling Grief I 'm wasted to Eternity and then our Bodies shall not be disjoyned but in one Grave we 'll lye till our returning Souls shall wake the drowsie courses and hand in hand we take our way to Heaven Vander. Can there be such constant Faith in Woman O thou Glory of your Sex let me revenge of so great a wrong And if Death permits me to survive her be assured that even to her very Ashes I will keep a Body pure and Troth inviolable for Separation shall never have place in our Uâ—â—â—on which is too great to be exampled I am reâ—â—lved that Winters chilling Storms nor Summers scorching heat attended with the sharp contests of Poverty shall never part us Death it self in all its dismal shapes is not of force to shake my fix'd determination Were all the Floods the Rivers and Seas that with their Crooked arms embrace the Earth betwixt us I 'd wade through all and meet her Were all the Alps heap'd on each others head were Pelion joynd to Ossa and they both thrown on Olympa's top they shou'd not make so high a Wall but I would scale and find her If upon some Mountains top whose covering is Snow and Globes of solid Ice she should be forced to make her Bed I 'd there repose this Arm should be her Pillow whilst Vander shivering Vander froze to her side And when unfriendly Death with his cold Icy hand shall grasp her Life I 'll mourn much like a Widow-Turtle till in floods of swelling Grief I 'm waâ—ted to Eternity and then our Bodies shall not be disjoyned but in one Grave we 'll lye till our returning Souls shall wake the drowsie Courses and hand in hand we take our way to Heaven But so much for a Parenthesis of about three Pages Return we now to my Life agen wherein not a line have I written but has need of Correction or at least an Ocean of penitent Tears And therefore how glad should I be could Time unweave my Age again to the first thread that so once more being made an Infant I might be a better Husband of those golden hours that like a Bird from the Hand of the Owner are now vanisht out of sight I am thus free in accusing my self believing what Quarles says He that Confesses his Sin begins his Iourney towards Heaven he that is Sorry for it mends his pace he that Forsakes it is at his Iourneys end But alas Semel insanivimus omnes And we daily see the Life of the most precise amongst us is but one continued Blot we may see folly attending the wisest of Men and perhaps even at that very instant too when they would eagerly perswade us to follow their dictates at the same time they grow Cinical and morose and the Tub
Eating But whither do I Ramble again 'T is time now to return to the History of my English Adventures which were begun on the 10th of March 1681. just as the Sun had newly shaken off the Scales of Pisces and brush'd himself with the Tail of Aries and was beginning afresh his Yearly Ramble through the Zodiack 'T was now that I as it were by Sympathy being weary of a fix'd Life took a Resolution to walk to the Globe in Cornhill where meeting with a knot of loving Neighbours in the height of our caressing Endearments one was for making a visit to the East-Indies and another to the West If you 'l go I 'll go says one and I 'll go if you 'll go says another till at last they concluded upon it to go all together The next Question was whither we should March and after a long Debate they were all for France excepting my self So after three or four Scrapes and twice Bussing the Hand we parted But by that time I had Rambled a Mile or two from London who should I meet but Philaret an Old Acquaintance and thus I began to salute him Kainophilus Well met Dear Friend What say you to a Ramble now as far as Earth and Seas and Love can carry us Philaret Agreed I never was out at a Mad Frollick tho this is the Maddest I ever undertook Sir I take you at your Word and if you are for a Merry Jaunt I 'll try for once who can foot it farthest there are Hedges in Summer and Barns in Winter to be found I with my Knap-sack and you with your Bottle at your Back Wee 'll leave Honour to Mad-men and Riches to Knaves and Fools and Travel 'till we come to the ridge of the World and then drop together into the next Hang Pinching Wee 'll Ramble till we can see both Poles knock 'till we leave the Moon and Stars and Light behind us 'till we find Mountains of Gold without a Fiction and seeing Novelty is a thing so agreeable to our Natures wee 'll wander still on till we view the Cradle of the Infant-Morn observe the Chambers of the Rising Sun see him take Coach Man and be able to distinguish the Colour of his Horses and their several Kinds Nor rest yet 'till by our own Hazard we have discover'd New Worlds and brought one Hemisphere to some Acquaintance with another nay Ramble till But here 's enough in Conscience for a taste of a Frollick I 'll therefore now with your Worships Leave sit down and rest me for I am at the End of the World already Philaret and I being thus agreed on a Rambling Project you shall now seldom see us two asunder We dwell together like Soul and Body Had one been a Boy and the other a Girl sure enough we had been Man and Wife If one of us had been Castor and the other Pollux it had been well for Mariners for we should always have appear'd together Why had we not both one Mother Why were we not Twins for never were two better pleas'd with one another's Company part us and ye kill us for when Soul and Body part 't is Death So that now pursuing my first Resolutions of viewing my Native Countrey my Fellow Traveller and I like two Sons of Priam Per varios casus per tot discrimina Rerum took half a dozen Guinea's in our Pockets to fortifie our selves against the Attacks of Hunger Thirst and other Enemies of Men upon a Ramble and much about Noon we walk'd out of Town and took the Road to Cholsbury in Buckinghamshire designing to make that the first Stâ—ge of our Ramble When we had walked about half way thither invited by a Consort of Birds which sung very sweetly in a Neighbouring Hedge we by mutual Consent sat down on a Bank partly to observe the Harmony these pretty winged Choristers made and partly to feed our Eyes with the variety of Detectable Objects which seem'd to out-vy each other and strive which should most engage the Beholders Attention Bless me says Philaret let my Fellow-Traveller pass by this Name Who would be buryed alive in a Tavern and soberly fuddle himself to Death with the perpetual sâ—eams of a Wine-Cellar when he may be thus healthily inebriated with the Natural Pleasures of Liberty and an unconfined Life From henceforth I resolve to live Lord of my self accountâ—ble to none But to my Conscience and my God alone Let others who such meannesses can brook Strike Countenance to ev'ry great Mans look I rate my Freedom higher nor will I For Food and Rayment truck my Liberty But if I must to my last shifts be put To fill a Bladder and twelve yards of Gut Rather with counterfeited wooden Legg And my right Arm ty'd up I 'll chuse to beg I 'll rather chuse to starve at large than be The Gaudiest Vassal to dependency For what greater Grief can there be to an ingenuous and free Spirit who sitting at a spurious Table to be placed at the lowest to be carved unto of the worst and first cut as of boil'd Beef Brawn and the like and if the Lady or loose-bodyed Mistress presents unto him the Meat from her Trencher then assuredly it was burnt too much If he â—e carved out of a Pasty of Venison it was some Part that was bruised in the Carriage and began to sâ—ink Yet for all this if he be a Servant he must be obsequious endure any Jeer whisper for his drink and rise at the coming in of the Bason or Ewer And as Oldham says to his Friend as soon as e're the Tarts appear he must hastily retire for Dainties are no more for a Servile then they are for a Spiritual Maw to do the which any Generous an truly Noble Spirit had rather I am perswaded dine with my Lord Mayors Hounds in Finsbuâ—y Fields I think it hard for a Soul that doth not love Liberty ever to raise it self to another World I take it to be the Foundation of all Vertue and the only seasoning that giveth a relish to Life And tho the laziness of a slavish subjection hath its Charms for the more gross and Earthly part of Mankind yet to Men made of a better sort of Clay all that the World caâ— give without Liberty hath no taste It 's true nothing is sold so cheap by unthinking Men but that doth no more lessen the real value of it than a Countrey Fellows Ignorance doth that of a Diamond in selling it for a Pot of Ale Liberty is the Mistriss of Mankind she hath powerful Charms that do so dazle that we find Beauties in her which perhaps are not there as we do in other Mistresses yet if she was not a Beauty the World would not run Mad for her Who then adds he dear Kainophilus would not exchange the Stench and Foggs of London for this open Balmy Air Or the noisie din of Coaches Carrs c. for the delicious Whispers of Zephyrs the charming