feete And makes them his perfume alongst the streets A fourth hath got a powne'd Pommander box With woorme-wood iuice or sweating of a Fox Rue steep'd in vineger they hold it good To cheere the sences and preserue the blood Whilst Bellets Bonefire-like and faggots dry Are burnt i' th streetes the Aire to purifie Thou great Almightis giue them time and space And purifie them with thy heauenly Grace Make their repentance Incense whose sweet faure May mount vnto thy Throne and gaine thy fâ—ure Thus euery sence that should the heart delight Are Ministers and organs to affright The Citizens doe from the City runne The Countries feares the Citizens doe shunne Both feare the Plague but neither feares one iot The euill wayes which hath the plague begot This is the way this sickenes to preuent Feare to offend more then the punishment All trades are dead or almost out of breath But such as line by sickenesse or by death The Mercers Grocers Silk-men Goldsmiths Dâ—per Are out of Season like noone burning Tapers All functions faile almost through want of buyer And euery art and mysterie turne Dyers The very Water-men giue ouer plying Their rowing tade doth faile they fall to dring Some men there are that râ—â—e by others falls Propheticke Augurists in vrinals Those are right water-men and rowe so well They either land their fares in Heau'n or Hell I neuer knew them yet to make a stay And land at Purgatory by the way The Reason very plainely doth appeare Their patients feele their Pargatory here But this much Reader you must vnderstand They commonly are paid before they land Next vnto him th' Apothecarie thriues By Physicke bills and his preseruatiues Worme-eaten Sextons mighty gaines doe witine And natty Grane-makers great commings in And Cossin-makers are well paid their rent For many a woefull woodden tenement For which the Trunk-makers in Pauls Church-yard A large Reuenue this sad yeere haue shar'd Their liuing Customers for Trunkes were fled They now made chests or Cossins for the dead The Searchers of each corps good gainers be The Bearers haue a profitable fee And last the Dog-killers great gaines abounds For Brayning brawling currs and foisting hounds These are the grane trades that doe get and saue Whose grauity brings many to theit graue Thus grieued Lonaon sit'd with mones and grones Is like a Golgotha of dead mens bones The field where death his bloudy fray doth fight And kild a thousand in a day and night Faire houses that were latee exceeding deare At fifty or an hundred pounds a yeare The Landlords are so pittifull of late They le let them at a quarter of the rate So he that is a mightie moneyed man Let him but thither make what haste he can Let him disburse his gold and siluer heape And purchase London 't is exceeding cheape But if he tarrie but one three months more I hope 't will be as deare as 't was before A Country cottage that but lately went At foure markes or at three pounds yeerely rent A Citizen whose meere necessity Doth force him now into the Country fly Is glad to hire two Chambers of a Carter And pray pay with thankes fiue Pounds a quarter Then here 's the alteration of this yeare The Citties cheapenes makes the Country deare Besides another mischiefe is I see A man dares not besicke although he be Let him complaine but of the sioâ—c or gout The plague hath strooke him presently they doubt My selfe hath beene perplexed now and then With the wind Collick yeeres aboue thrice ten Wh'ch in the Country I drust not repeate Although my pangs gripes paines were great For to be sicke of any kind of griefe Would make a man worse welcome then a thiefe To be drunke sicke which or'st did credit winne Was fear'd infectious and held worse then sinne This made me and a many more beside Their griefes to smother and their paines to hide To tell a mery tale with Visage glad When as the Collick almost made me mad Thus meere dissembling many practis'd then And mid'st of paine seem'd pleasant amongst men For why the smallest sigh or grone or shrieke Would make a man his meat and lodging seeke This was the wretched Londoners hard case Most hardly welcome into any place Whil'st Country people where so'ere they went Would stop their Noses to auoid their sent When as the case did oft most plaine appeare 'T was onely they themselues that stunke with feare Nature was dead or from the Country runne A Father durst not entertaine his Sonne The Mother sees her Daughter and doth feare her Commands her on her blessing not come neere her Affinity nor any kinde of Kinne Or ancient friendship could true welcome winne The Children scarcely would their Parents know Or did if they but slender duty shew Thus feare made nature most vnnaturall Duty vndutifull or very small No friendship or else cold and miserable And generally all vncharitable Nor London Letters little better spod They would not be receiu'd much lesse be read But cast into the fire and burnt with speed As if they had bin Hereticks indeed And late I saw vpon a Sabbath day Some Citizens at Church prepar'd to pray But as they had bin excommunicate The good Church-wardeÌ„s thrust them out the gate Another Country vertue I 'le repeat The peoples charity was growne so great That whatsoeuer Londonor did dye In Church or Church-yard should not buried lye Thus were they scorn'd despised banished Excluded from the Church aliue and dead Aliue their bodies could no harbour haue And dead not be allow'd a Christian Graue Thus was the Countryes kindnesse cold and small No house no Church no Christian buriall Oh thou that on the winged windes dost sit And seest our misery remedy it Althogh we haue deseru'd thy vengeance hot Yet in thy jury Lord consume vs not But in thy mercies sheath thy slaying sword Deliuer vs according to thy word Shut vp thy Quiuer stay thy angry rod That all the world may know thou art our God Oh open wide the gate of thy compassion Assure our soules that thou art câ—â—r Saluation Then all our thoughts words works wee 'le frame To magnifie thy great and glorious Name The wayes of God are intricate no doubt Vnsearchable and passe mans finding out He at his pleasure worketh wond'rous things And in his hand doth hold the hearts of Kings And for the loue which to our King he beares By sickenes he our sinfull Country cleares That he may be a Patrone and a guide Vnto a people purg'd and purifi'd This by a president is manifest When famous late Elizabeth deceast Before our gracious Iames put on the Crowne Gods hand did cut superstuous branches downe Not that they then that were of life bereft Were greater sinners then the number left But that the Plague should then the Kingdome cleare The good to comfort and the bad to feare That as a good King God did vs assure So he
reasonable time first to learne the languages of those Countries through which I am to passe betwixt the bounds of the Territories of this Prince and Christendome namely these three the Persian Turkish and Arab which I haue in some competent measure attained vnto by my labour and industry at the said Kings Court matters as auaileable vnto me as mony in my purse as being the chiefest or rather onely meane to get me mony if I should happen to be destitute a matter very incidentall to a poore Footman Pilgrim as my selfe in these heathen and Mahometan Countries through which I trauell Secondly that by the helpe of one of those languages I meane the Persian I might both procure vnto my selfe accesse vnto the King and bee able to expresse my mind vnto him about the matter for the which I should haue occasion to discourse with him These were the reasons that moued me so long to tarry at the Mogols Court during which time I abode in the house of the English Merchants my deare Countrimen not spending one little peece of mony either for diet washing lodging or any other thing And as for the Persian tongue which I studied very earnestly I attained to that reasonable skill and that in a fewe moneths that I made an Oration vnto the King before many of his Nobles in that language and after I had ended the same discoursed with his Maiesty also in that tongue very readily and familiarly the Copy of which speech though the tongue it selfe will seeme to an Englishman very strange and vncouth as hauing no kind of affinity with any of our Christian languages I haue for nouelty sake written out in this letter together with the translation thereof in English that you may shew it to some of my learned friends of the Clergy and also of the Temporalty in Euil and elswhere who belike will take some pleasure in reading so rare and vnusuall a tongue as this is The Persian is this that followeth The Copie of an Oration that I made in the Persian tongue to the Great Mogoll before diuers of his Nobles HAzaret Aallum pennah salamet fooker Daruces ve tehaungeshta hast am kernia emadam az wellagets door ganne az mulk Inglizan ke kessanaion petheeÌ„ mushacas cardand ke wellagets mazcoor der akers magrub bood ke mader hamma iezzaerts dunmast Sabebbe amadane mari mia boosti char cheez ast au val be dedane mobarreckdeedars Hazaret ke seete caramat ba hamma Trankestan reeseedast ooba tamam mulk Musulmanan der sheenedan awsaffe Hazaret daueeda amadam be deedane ast awne akdas mushar af geshtans duum bray deedane feelbay Hazaret kin chunm ianooar der heech mulk ne dedam seu in bray deedane nauswer dary ace shuâ—ma Ganga ke Serdare hamma daryaba dumiest Chaharum cen ast keyec ferm awne alishaion amayet fermoy and ke betwanam der wellayetts Vzbeck raftan ba shahre Samarcand bray Zeerat cardan cabbre mobarrec Saheb crawncab awsaffe tang oe mosachere oo der tamans aallum meshoor ast belkder wellagette Vzbec cencader meshoor neest chunan cheder mulc Iuglisan ast digr bishare eshteeac darambe deedane mobarrec mesare Saheb crawnca bray â—â—n saheb che awne samanche focheer de shabr stâ—lâ—l boodam ycaiaeb cohua amarat deedam dermâ—n yecush bawg nasdec sbaht mascoor coia che paâ—â—aâ— Eezawiawn che namesh Manuel bood che Saâ—â—â—â— crawnea cush mehmannec aseem cards bood beâ—dâ—â—â—â—â— gristane Sulten Baiasetra as iange aseem che sâ—â—â— bood nas dec shahre Bursa coimache Saheb craâ—â— Sultan Baiasetra de Zenicera tell aio bestand codâ— cafes nahadond cen char chees meera as mulche mâ—ium baneed tamia as mulc Room oo Arrac peeâ—â— geshta as door der cen mulc reseedam che châ—r bâ—sar pharsang raw dared beshare derd co moâ—â—â— casheedam che heech ches der een dunnia cencâ—â—â—n mohuet ne casheedast bray deedune mobarrec dedâ—â—s Hasereret own roos che be tacte shaugh ne shaughâ—â— musharaf fermoodand The English of it is this LOrd * This is the ordinary title that is giuen him by all strangers Protector of the world all haile to you I am a poore Traueller and worldseer which am come hither from a farre country namely England which ancient Historians thought to haue beene situated in the fartheâ— bounds of the West and which is the Queene of all the Ilands in the world The cause of my comming hither is for foure respects First to see the blessed face of your Maiesty whose wonderfull fame hath resounded ouer all Europe the Mahometan Countries When I heard of the fame of your Maiesty I hastened hither with speed and trauelled very cheerefully to see your glorious Court Secondly to see your Maiesties Elephants which kind of beasts I haue not seene in any other countrey Thirdly to see your famous Riuer Ganges which is the Captaine of all the Riuers of the world The fourth is this to intreat your Maiesty that you would vouchsafe to grant me your gracious Passe that I may travell into the Country of Tartaria to the City of Samarcand to visit the blessed Sepulcher of the Lord of the Corners this is a title that is giuen to Tamberlaine in this Country in that Persian language and whereas they call him the Lord of the Corners by that they mean that he was Lord of the corners of the world that is the highest and supreme Monarch of the Vniuerse whose fame by reason of his wars and victories is published ouer the whole world perhaps he is not altogether so famous â—n his own Country of Tartaria as in England Moreouer I haue a great desire to see the blessed Toombe of the Lord of the Corners for this cause for that when I was at Constantinople I saw a notable old building in a pleasant garden neere the said City where the Christian Emperor that was called Emanuel made a â—umptuous great Banquet to the Lord of the Corners after he had taken Sultan Baiazet in letters of Gold and put him in a cage of Iron These foure causes moued me to come out of by natiue Counrrey thus farre hauing trauelled a foot through Turkie and Persia so far haue I traced the world into this Countrey that my pilgrimage hath accomplished three thousand miles wherin I haue sustained much â—bour and toyle the like whereof no mortall â—â—an in this World did euer performe to see â—â—e blessed face of your Maiesty since the first day that you were inaugurated in your glorious Monarchall throne After I had ended my speech I had some â—â—ort discourse with him in the PersiaÌ„ tongue â—ho amongst other things told me that concerning my trauell to the City of Samarcand â—â— was not able to doe me any good because â—here was no great amity betwixt the Tartaâ—â—an Princes and himselfe so that his commendatory letters would doe mee no good â— Also he added that the Tartars did so deadly hate all Christians that they would certainely kill them when they came
day Stephen Earle of Mortaigue and Bulloyne the Sonne of Stephen Eâ—â—â— Bloys and Champaine was crowned at Westminster by William Corbell Archbishop of Canterbury takâ— Gouernement vpon him vsurpingly compare to his â—â— made to King Henry the I in the behalf of Maudth ' Empresse for the which his whole reigne was full of comoâ— all troubles For the Empresse claiming her right great parties weere taken on each side the King had on his part his brother Henry Bishop of Winchester William Archbishop of Canterbury Roger Bishop of Salisbury Hugh Bigott late Lord Steward to King Henry the first On the Empresse part were Robert Earle of Glocester her halfe brother Dauid King of Scotland Owen and Cadwallader sent to Griffith ap Coâ—â— Prince of Wa es and in Normandy Geffry the Empresse Husband made hauocke in the right of his â—â—â—â— in which space the King was dangerously sicks recouered and went into Normandy appeasing the tumults and leauing his Sonne Eustace Duke there makes league with France buyes his peace with the Empresse for 5000 marks yeerely and returnes into England after which Dauid King of Scotland with his valiant Sonne Preâ—â— Henry wasted and spoyled call the North parts of England till by Thurstane Archbishop of York and Ralpâ— Bishop of Durham He was â—â—â—â— and discomfited In â— me and space K. Stephen in diuers parts of this Kingdom was victortous chasing and killing many of those but aâ—â—â—â— posed him inforcing Robert Earle of Glocester to â—â—â— into France â—â—whilst Stephen in England â—â—â—â— â—â—â—â—â— and Castles After in a great â—â—â—â— the King was â—â—â—â— at Lincolne by th' Empresse and committed â—â—â—â— Bristow Castle but the Nobility distastins the â—â—â—â— sâ—rict gouernment fell off from her to King Stephens â—â— againe In these broyles more the â—â—â—â— Charâ—â—â—â— burnt in Winchester with almost the whaâ—â—â—â—â— med to ashes In the end Robert Eearle of Glocester was taken prisoner and exâ—hanged for King Stephenâ— the warres more and more encreasing till at last â—â—â—â— mercy looking on this miserable Land was pleased â—â—â—â— Stephen should ordaine Henry the Empresse form Sonneâ—â— Hetre after him vpon which conditions peace â—â—â—â— blished The King aged at Douer and was buried at Feuersham October 25 1154. hauing reigned â—â—â—â— all vexation neere 19 yeeres HENRY THE SECOND KING OF ENGLAND DVKE OF NORMANDY Guyen and Aquitaine c. TO th' Empresse Maud I was vndoubted Heyre And in her Right my Title being iust By iustice I obtain'd the Regall Chayre Fayre Rosamond I soyled with soule lust For which Heauens lustice hating deeds vniust Stir'd vp my Wife and Sonnes to be my foes Who sought to lay my Glory in the dust And he m'd me round with cruell warres and woes They poys'ned my sweete beautious tainted â—â— By Isabels deuice my furious Queene My very bowels 'gainst me did oppose Such fruit hath lust such force hath iealons spleene My cursed crossâ—s made me curse my birth With her I liu'd raignd died and arm'd to earth Anno â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â—â— RICHARD THE FIRST Surnamed CVER DE LYON KING OF ENGLAND DVKE OF NORMANDY Guyen and Aquitaine c. THrough my Creators mercy and his might Ierusalem conquer'd and set free False mis-beleeuing Iewes and Turkish spight From Iury force perforce I forc'd to flee The Realme of Cypresse was subdude by me Suâ—ha trembled at my prowesse bold King Tanered bought his peace and did agree And paid me threescore ounces of fine gold Whilst I abroad won Honour manifold Aspiring Iohn my brother vext my Realme In Austria I was tane and laid in hold Thus noods of griefe each way me ouer whelme At last I home return'd my ransome paid My earthly glory in a Graue was laid Anoo 1189 Iuly 6 Thursday Richard the first surnamed Cuer De Lyon or Lyons Heart was crowned at Westminster by Baldwin Archbishop of Canterbury Shortly after his Coâ—â—â—tion he sold and pawned lands and gathering a great sum of 1100000â— he left England in the guidance of William Longchamp Bishop of Ely the Popes Legate and Lord Chancelor of England William king of Scotla'd being in amity with King Richard this king sailed in France with whom the French K. Philip went with their armies toward the holy Land in their voyage they touched the kingdom of Sicilia where Tancred the vsurping King of that Country gaue king Richard 6000. ounces of â— I know not whether it was for loue or feare He saild from thence and in a Tempest his Nauie was disperst and foâ— wrack'd neere the I le of Cyprus whom lsakius the by courteous King of that kingdome would not harbour vnlieue but contrarily pillaged and abused king Richard and inraged landed conquerd Cyprus carrying the king and his daughter away prisoners leauing the kingdoms vds â—â— two trusty Viceryes hee put againe to Sea bit â—â—â—â—â— number more then 300 he met with a great Argâ—â—â—â—â—â—â— the Sarazens with 1500 men in her and furâ—â—â— munition and victuals for their friends at Acon â— Argosey the King tooke after hee sailed to Acon â— ciently called Ptol omais which City he likewise conquered Philip king of France being with him and â—â—â—med 1500 Christians that were there in bondage The king of France weary or ennious of King Richards â—â— ries returned home In the meane time Earle Iohn Kings brother driues the proud gouerning Bishop of Eâ— out of his gouernment and this kingdome Tâ—â—â—â—â—â—â— King Richard fortified Ascalon marched before Ienâ—â— lem fought with the Salladine took 7000 Câ—â—â—â—â— other beasts killing the Infidels in heaps At last â—â—â— Duke of Burgundy forsakes the warres whereby thâ—â—â— was inforced to come to truce with the Saladine for â—â—â—â— yeeres Hee returning in disguise like a Marchâ—â— â—â— discouered and taken by Leopoldus Duke of Austria â— the Emperor took him from him In the meant space â—â—â— the Kings brother vseth all the foule play he c 〈…〉 Crowne After 15 moneths imprisonment the king â— released paying a great Ransome be landed in England was crowned againe at Winchester for gaue his brother Iohn sailed into Normandy against his mortall eâ—â—â—â— the King of France who fled from the siege of Vernoyâ—â— so soene as he heard of Richards comming yet newâ—â—â—â— arose betweene them wherein King Richard wasâ—â—â— Victorius Lastly at the battell of Gisors 1192 after â—â—â—â— sion he was most infortunately slain at the siege of â—â—â—â— named Chaluz with an Arrow the 6 of April 119â—â— hauing reigned nobly and prosperously neere 10 yeere IOHN KING OF ENGLAND DVKE OF NORMANDY Guyen and Aquitaine LORD OF IRELAND c. ROmes mighty miter'd Metropolitan I did oppose and was by him depos'd He turn'd this cursed blessings to his ban And caus'd me round to be with cares inclos'd The English and the Normans me oppos'd And Lewis of France my Kingdome did molest Whilst I to all these miseries expos'd Consum'd my Kingly dayes in restlesse rest At last the Pope was pleas'd and I reblest Peace was obtain'd proclaim'd I re-inthroan'd This was my raigne with
hauing past with troubles griefes and cares This transitory life this vale of teares Yet LANCELOT ANDREWES name doth this portend All sure All due content Crownes all art end FINIS True louing Sorrovv â—â—TTIRED IN A ROBE OF VNFAINED â—efe presented vpon occasion of the much bewailed Funerall that Gracious and Illustrious Prince LEVVIS STEVVARD â—â—e of Richmond and Linox Earle of Newcastle and Darnely Lord of Torboltâ—n and â—â—uen Baron of Settrington Knight of the Noble Order of the Garter Lord High â—â—â—â—irall great Chamberlain of Scotland Lord high Steward to the Kings most â—â—lent Maiesties most Honourable Houshold Gentleman of his Maiesties Bed-chamber â—â—â— one of his Maiesties most Honourable Priuie Councell for England and Scotland who â—â—â—â—departed this life at White-hall on Thursday the 12 of February 1624. whose obsequies were solemnly and Princely celebrated on Munday the 19 of Aprill following described in forme as followeth Dedicated generally to all his worthy Friends and louing Seruants and particularly to that trusty and welbeloued Seruant of his Arthur Neassmith ANd first my Muse findes that his Graces name Significantly makes an Anagram LEWIS STEWARDE Anagram VERTV IS WEL EAS'D His Vertues such continuall paines did take For King and Countrie Church and peoples sake That for Earths courtly toyle to him 't was giuen His VERTV IS WEL EAS'D t 'the Court of Heauen A Funerall Elegie GReat God that to thy self wilt take thine own By sundry waies and means to man vnknown Whose Eye of prouidence doth still perceiue When where why who to take or else to leaue Whose mercy and whose Iustice equall are Both Infinite to punish or to spare All men doe know that men to dye are borne And from the earth must to the earth returne But Time and Circumstance coniecture may For some great cause thou took'st this Duke away Amongst vs lurks so many a foule offence Which giues thee cause to take good men from hence And that this Prince was good as well as great His life and timelesse losse doth well repeate Deuout and zealous to his God aboue True to his King as did his seruice proue Discreet in Counsell Noble in his minde Most Charitablly Honourably kinde So Affable so Hopefull vnto all And so Repleat with vertues generall That we may say This Land in losing him Hath lost a gracious Peere a prop a lim It must be true that well he spends his daies Whose actions doe attaine all peoples praise And surely I suppose hee doth not liue Who of this Duke a bad report can giue So full endu'd he was of all good parts With Noble Courtesie he wan all hearts To loue and honour his admired minde So well addicted and so well enclin'd That as a Diamond in gold transfixt His vertues with his greatnesse were so mixt That he as one of an immortall Race Made Vertue vertuous and gaue Grace to grace Then since his goodnesse was so generall The losse of him is Gen'rall vnto all This being true let 's recollect our spirits And weigh his worth with our vnworthy merits The manner of the Funerall 8. Conductors with black staues poore Gowns 10â— Seruants to Gentlemen and Esquires in Cloakes 50. Seruants to Knights 46. Seruants to Baroness â—â— Three Trumpeters Then came the Standard borne by Sir Geâ—â— Samms Knight accompanyed with an Officer of Armes The first Horse couered with blacke cloth â—â—â— with Scutchions Shoffron and Plumes ledly a groâ—â— Heere went seruants to Baron younger Sonnes â—â—â— some others of like quality in number 15. The seruants to Knights of the Priuy Councell,30 Seruants to Earles younger Sonnes 24. Seruants to Viscounnts eldest Sonnes 6. Then the Schollers of Westminster in â—ounâ—â— Surplices their Masters following in mourning Goâ—â— Three Trumpeters The Guiators borne by Sir Andrew Boyd Knight â—â—â— companyed with an Officer of Armes The second Horse led by a Groome and furnished the former Barons seruants 60. Bishops seruants 10. Earles eldest Sonnes seruants 15. Viscount seruants 10. Marquesses eldest Sonnes seruants 3 Trumpeters The Banker of the augmentation borne by a kniâ—â— companied with an Officer of Armes The third Horse led by another Groome of his Grâ—â— Stable furnished as the others Earles seruant maâ—â—â— set and Dukes seruants The Lord Priuy-Seales Seruantâ— President of the Cuoncell Seruant Lord Treasurers Seruant Lord Keepers Seruant And Lord Archbishops Seruant 3 Trumpeters The Banner of Steward borne by â—â— Iohn Steward accompanied with an Officer of Armesâ— The fourth Horse sed by a Yeoman of his Graces â—â—â—ble And then our fraileties truely will confesse God tooke him hence for our vnworthinesse Death was in Message from th' Almighty sent To summon him to Heau'ns high Parliament He chang'd his Gracious Title transitory And by the grace of God attain'd true Glory And as his King had his integrity So did the Commons share his Clemency Which was so pleasing to his Makers sight That bounteously he did his life requite That Lambe-like mildely hence hee tooke him sleeping To his Eternall euer-blessed keeping Thus as his name includes so God is pleas'd From worldly sorrows VERTV IS WEL EAS'D No sicknesse or no physicke made him languish He lay not long in heart-tormenting anguish But as Gods feare was planted in his brest â—â—â—oat his Rest God tooke him to his Rest. When like a good Tree laden full of fruite Of Grace of Vertue Honour and Repute Euen in his best estate too good for Earth Then did his soule put on a second Birth And though his part of fraile mortality Yet Monumentall Marble heere doth lye As thousands weeping soules with deepe laments â—â—â—s his most woefull mourning Monuments â—â—â— daily see whose visages doe show That Hee 's inter'd within their hearts below Whose faces seeme an Epitaph to beare That men may Reade who is intombed there Epitaph GOod Gracious Great Richmond Linox Duke God King and Countries seruant heere doth lye â—hose liuing Merits merit no rebuke â—â—â—â— whose liues losse lamenting Memory â—â—â—â—â— hearts are groning Graues of griefes and cares â—hich when we dye wee 'l leaue vnto our heyres ME thinks the Sable Mourners did appeare As if in forme they numbring Figures were â—â—â— 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9. Whilst all that view'd like Ciphers did combine Their mourning with the Mourners to vnite Which made thier Lamentations infinite And Infinite are now his Ioyes aboue With the Eternall God of peace and loue Where for a mortall Duke dome he hath wonne Through boundlesse merits of th'Amighties Son â—â—â— Kingdome that 's immortall where hee sings â—erpetuall praise vnto the King of Kings Thus what the Earth surrendred heau'n hath seaz'd Most blest LEWIS STEWARDE VERTV IS WEL EAS'D ble furnished as the other Seruants to his Grace in Cloakes Officers to his Grauce in Gownes 3 Trumpeters The Banner of Steward and the augmentation quartered with it borne by a Baronet accompanied with a Herald of Armes The 5 Horse led by a Yeoman of his Graces Stable furnished as the
alterations from time to time and chiefly by Paper How should we know the change of Monarchies Th'Assyrian and the Persian Emperies Great Alexanders large small lasting glory Or Romes High Casars often changing story How should Chronologies of Kings be knowne Of eyther other Countries or our owne Phylosophers Hystorians Chronographers Poets ancient and moderne the best foâ— mentioned But that Iosephus and Sueronius Possedore Virgil and Orâ—â—lius Seneca and Cornelins Tacitus With Scaâ—â—ger and Quintus Curticus Piutarch Guichiardiue Gallobelgicus Thomasio and Hector Boetius Fox Cooper Froysard Grafton Fabiaâ— Hall Houe den Lanquit Sleiden Buchanan The Reuerend learned Cambden Selaen Stowe With Polychronicon and Speed and Howe With Parris Malâ—â—â—bury and many more Whose Workes in Paper are yet extant store Philemon Holland famous for translation Hath with our owne tongue well inricht our Nation Esope and Aristotle Plinse Plato Pythagoras and Cicero and Cato Du Bartas Ariostâ— Martial Tasso Plaâ—â—â—us and Homer Terence Virgil Naso Franciscus Petrark Horace Iuâ—enal Philosophers and exc'lent Poets all Or Orators Hystorians euery one In Paper made their worthy studies knowne Who euer went beyond our famous King Whoseâ—â—â—â— throughout the spacious world doth ring Such a Diuine and Poet that each State Admires him whom they cannot imitate In Paper many a Poet now suruiues Or else their lines hed perish'd with their lines Old Chaucer Goâ—er and Sir Thomas More Sir Philip Sidney who the Lawrell worâ— Spencer and Shakespeare did in Arâ— excell Sir Edward Dyâ—â—â— Grâ—â—â— Naso Daniel Silnester Beâ—â—â—â—â— Sir Iohn Harington Forgetfulnesse their workes would ouer ruâ— But that in Paper they immortally Doe liue in spight of Death and cannot dye And many there are liuing at this day Which doe in paper their true worth display As Dauis Drayton and learned Dâ—â— Iohnson and Chapman Marston Middâ—â—ton With Rowley Fletcher Withers Massinger Heywood and all the rest where e're they are Must say their lines but for the paper sheete Had scarcely ground whereon to set their feete Acts Statutes Lawes would be consum'd and last All right and order topsy-â—â—â—uy tost Oppression wrong destruction and confusion Wer 't not for Paper were the worlds conclusion Negotiation and Embassages Maps Chartes discoueries of strange passages Leagues truces combinations and contracts Ecelefiasticke monuments and acts Lawes Nat'rall Morall Ciuill and Diuine T' instruct reproue correct inlarge confine All Memorandums of forepassed ages Sayings and sentences of ancient Sages Astronomy and Phisicke much renownd The lib'rall Arts rules maxicmes or ground The glory of Apolloes Radient shine Supporter of the Sacred Sisters Nine The Atlas that all Histories doth beare Throughout the world here there and euery where How many line byst being Paper All this and more is paper and all this From fruitfull Hempseea still produced is Were 't not for rags of this admired Lint Dead were the admirable Art of Print Nor could the Printers with their formes proofes Worke for their owne and other mens beâ—â—oofeâ— Octano Quarto Folie or sixteene Twelues nor yet sixty foure had ere beene seene Nor could thier Pages be the meanes to feed And cloth them and their families at need The Stationer that liues and gaineth well And doth the word of God both buy and sell I know not which way he could liue and eate It printed paper did not yeeld him meat Some foolish knaue I thinke at first began The â—â—â—der that three Taylers are one man When many a Taylers boy I know hath beene â—â—â— made tall men much fearefull to be seene The boy hath had no weapon nor no skill â—â— armed with a Taylers Paper-bill Which being edgd with Items stiffnings facings With Bumbast cottons linenings and with laccings The boy hath made a man his head to hide And not the bare sight of the Bill abide When boyes with paper Bils frights men so sore â—â—â—is doubtlesse but their Masters can doe more And many millions both of boyes and men â—â—â— onely liue and flourish with the pen Yet though the pen be through the world renown'd â—â—were nothing except paper were the ground All Lawyers from the high'st degree or marke Vnto the lowest Barrester or Clarke How could they doe if paper did not beare The memory of what they speake or heare And justice Clarkes could hardly make strong warrants For Theeues or Baudes or whores or such like arrants â—â—â— that in Paper 't is their onely vse To write and right the Common-wealths abuse Thus much of Paper here my Muse hath said â—â— yet if all its profits were displaid â—en paper Mils could not affoord enough To write vpon in praise of writing stuffs A Uoyage in a Paper-boat from London to Quinborough I therefore to conclude this much will note How I of Paper lately made a Boat And how in forme of Paper I did row From London vnto Quinborough I le show I and a Vintner Roger Bird by name A man whom Fortune neuer yet could tame Tooke ship vpon the vigill of Saint Iames And boldly ventur'd downe the Riuer Thames Leiuing and cutting through each raging billow In such a Boat which neuer had a fellow Hauing no kinde of mettall or no wood To helpe vs eyther in our Ebbe or Flood For as out boat was paper so our Oares Were Stock-fish caught neere to the Island shores Stock-fishes vnbeaten bound fast to two Canes with packthread Thus being Oar'd and shipt away we went Driving 'twixt Effex Calues and sheepe of Kent Our Boat a female vessell gan to leake Being as female vessels are most weake Yet was shee able which did greeue me sore To downe Hodge Bird and I and forty more The water to the Paper being gâ—t In one halfe houre our boat began to rot The Thames most lib'rall fild her to the halues Whilâ—t Hodge and I sate liquor'd to the calues In which extremity I thought it fit To put in vso a â—â—ratagem of wit Which was eight Bullocks bladders we had bought Pust stifly full with wind bound fast and tought Which on our Boat within the Tide we ty'de Of each side foure vpon the outward side The water still role higher by degrees In three miles going almost to our knees Our rotten bottome ali to tatters fell And left our boat as bottomlesse as Hell And had not bladders horne vs stifly vp We there had tasted of deaths fatall cup. And now to make some sport I le make it knowne By whose strong breath my bladders all were blown One by a châ—uerell conscienc'd Vsurer Another by a drunken Bag piper The third a Whore the fourth a Pander blew The fist a Cutpurse of the Cursed crew The sixt apost-knight that for fiue groats gaine Would sweare for foure groats forsweare't agine The seauenth was an Informer one that can By informations begger any man The eight was blowne vp by a swearing Royster That would cut throats as soone as eate an Oyster We had more winds then the Compasse for we had eight seuerall winds in our bladders and the
the poorer in spirit though not in purse but if a proud Diues handle it he will esteeme it worse then his Dogges if a proud Courtier reade it hee will teare it to tatters whilst a Generous Affable Gentleman will louingly entertaine it If beauty chance to behold it it will bid it welcome if Pride stand not in the way if a strong man that is not proud of it grow acquainted with the contents of my meaning I thinke it will content him if Parents or children or all or any body that are not poysoned with pride doe but see or heare it distinctly read and vnderstand it with iudgement I am perswaded it will passe and repasse with friendly vsage but if any of the contrary faction come within the Aire of it they will vse it in some sort as bad as the hangman will vse them And So much for To no matter who It is no great matter where this be read for as a good man being banished is neuer out of his Country because all Countries are his so my Booke in Church Court Citty Countrey or Cottage is one and the same it may perhaps alter the place where it comes from worse to better but the place can neuer alter the honest intents of it from better to worse Therefore no great matter where To be read there is matter why because it strikes at the roote of a most deadly sinne which almost as bad as an vniuersall deluge hath ouerflowed the most part of the world and though the Preachers on Earth Gods Trumpets and Ambassadours from Heauen doe diligently and daily strike at this abomination with the eternall Sword of the euerlasting Word yet what they cut downe in the day like Mushromes it growes vp againe thicke and threeâ—old in the night for whilst the husband-man sleepes the enuious man sowes tares Wherefore I hauing a talent of knowledge lent me by which I know that I must render an account one day how I haue imployed it and hauing written neere forty seuerall Pamphlets in former times I purpose henceforward God willing to redeeme the time I haue so mis-spent imploying my Pen in such exercises which though they be not free from a rellish of mirth yet they shall be cleare from profanation scurrillity or obsceannesse I doe know Pride is at such a height that my Mole-hill Muse can neuer by mineing at her foote shake her head for where Diuinity preuailes not Poetry in meddling doth but shew the Suns brightnes with a Candle Yet forasmuch as I know that Pride cast Angels out of Heauen made diuels in hell threw man out of Paradise was a maine causer of the drowning of the first World is a deuourer of this world and shall euer be accursed in the world to come by this knowledge I haue with a mix'd inuectiue mildnesse shewed in this Booke the vanities of all sorts of Pride not that I hope for amendment but to shew my honest intendment I haue seene sixe or seuen fashion hunting Gallants together sit scorning and deriding a better man then themselues onely because either his Hat was of the old Blocke or that his Ruffe was not so richly lac'd his Cloake hath beene too plaine his Beard of the old translation his Bootes and Spurres of the precedent second edition and for such slight occasions a man hath beene slighted ieerd and wonderd at as if he had beene but a Zany to the fashion or a man made for the purpose for them to whet their scorne vpon and therefore to reade this there is a matter why It is not much matter when for be it read on Friday the Turks Holyday on Saturday the Iewes Sabbath on Sunday the Lords Day or on any day or all dayes nights or houres there is Diuinitie with Alaâ—ritie Poetrie with mirth and euery thing so interwouen one with another that if it please not the generality yet I hope in particularitie it will tolerably censur'd by all that hate Pride and loue humility And therefore not much matter when IOHN TAYLOR A FEW LINES TO SMALL PVRPOSE AGAINST THE SCANDALOVS ASPERSIONS that are either maliciously or ignorantly cast vpon the Poets and Poems of these Times THere doth a strange and true opinion runne That Poets write much worse then they haue don And how so poore their daily writings are As though their best inuentions were thread-bare And how no new things from them now do spring But all hath ref'rence from some other thing And that their daily doings doe reueale How they from one another filch and steale As if amongst them 't were a statute made That they may freely vse the theeuing trade And some there are that will not sticke to say That many Poets liuing at this day Who haue the Hebrew Latine Greeke at will And in th' Italian and the French haue skill These are the greatest theeues they say of all That vse the Trade or Art Poeticall For ancient Bards and Poets in strange toungs Compiled haue their verses and their songs And those to whoÌ„ those tongues are rightly known Translating them make others verse their owne As one that steales a Cloake and presently Makes it his owne by alt'ring of the dye So whole bookes and whole sentences haue bin Stolne and the stealers great applause did win And by their filching thought great men of fame By those that knew not the right Authors name For mine owne part my Conscience witnesse is In'er was guilty of such theft as this Vnto such robbery I could neuer reach Because I vnderstand no forreigne speach To prooue that I am from such filching free Latin and French are heathen-Greeke to me The Grecian and the Hebrew Charactars I know as well as I can reach the Stars The sweet Italian and the Chip Chop Dutch I know the man i' th Moone can speake as much Should I from English Authors but purloyne It would be soone found counterseited coyne Then since I cannot steale but some will spy â—le truely vse mine owne let others lye Yet to excuse the writers that now write Because they bring no better things to light 'T is because bounty from the world is fled True liberality is almost dead Reward is lodg'd in darke obliuion deep Bewitch't I thinke into an endlesse sleepe That though a man in study take great paines And empt his veines puluerize his braines To write a Poem well which being writ With all his Iudgement Reason Art and Wit And at his owne charge print and pay for all And giue away most free and liberall Two three or foure or fiue hundred bookes For his reward he shall haue nods and lookes That all the profit a mans paines hath gat Will not suffice one meale to feed a Cat. Yet still Noble Westminster thou still art free And for thy bounty I am bound to thee For hadst not thou and thy Inhabitants From Time to Time relieu'd and help'd my want I had long since bid Poetry adieu And therefore still my thankes shall be
it vse to procure The Papbian pastime and the Cyprian game The sports of Venus and the acts of shame To breed the heat of Enpids lustfull flame Oft beauty hath faire chastity displac'd But chastity hath beauty euer grac'd For 't is a maxime Those haue euer bin That are most faire without most foule within Too oft hath beauty by disloyalty Branded it selfe with lasting infamy That one fraile creature nobly well descended Proud of her fairenes fouly hath offended And on her house and kindred laid a blot That the dishonor ne'r will be forgot But a faire feature vertuously inclin'd A beauteous outside and a pious mind Such are Gods Images Epitomies And Cabinets of heauens blest treasuries And therefore be thy feature faire or foule Let inward vertues beautifie the soule b Against Pride of our strength Pride of our strength shewes weaknes in our wit Because the Collicke or an Ague sit The rooth-ach or the pricking of a pin Oft lets the strength out and the weaknesse in The Tribe of Dans great glory * Iudges 16. 19. Samsons strength By a weake woman was orethrowne at length And sure there 's many do themselues much wrong In being proud because they are made strong For a great number liuing now there are Can wrastle throw the sledge or pitch the barre That on their backs foure hudred waight can beare And horse-shooes with their fists in sunder teare Yet neuer vse their strength in any thing To serue their God their Country or their King But with outragious acts their liues pursue As if God gaue them strength but as their due As though they like the Gyants could remoue And hurle great mountaines at the head of Ioue Or like Gargantua or Polipheme Or Gogmagog their boystrous fancies dreame That they more wonders by their strength can doe Then Hercules could e're attaine vnto Let those Goliabs that in strength take pride Know that the Lord of Hostes doth them deride And what they are that proudly brag and swell Of strength let any man but note them well If hurt or sickenesse make their strength decay A man shall neuer see such Cowes as they Be'ng strong their minds on God they neuer set In weakenesse iustly he doth them forget Strength thus like headstrong Iades they doe abuse it For want of Reasons bridle how to vse it a Against Pride of our hauing children Pride of our children's vaine our proper stem Must either dye from vs or we from them If our examples of the life we liue Inrich them not more then the gifts we giue If disobedient they despise instruction And will peruersly runne into destruction Much better had it bin we had not bin Begetters of such Imps of shame and sinne Children no duty to such Parents owe Who suffer vice their youth to ouergrow Neglect to teach thy sonne in younger yeeres He shall reiect thee in thy hoary haires The way to make our children vs obay Is that our selues from God runne not astray Such measure to our Maker as we mete T is iust that such we from our children get Th' Apostle Paul exhorteth more and lesse To be all children in maliciousnesse That is to say as children harmeles be So we should from maliciousnes be free Thus Pride of birth apparell wealth strength state And Pride of humane wisedome God doth hate Of knowledge learning beauty children and The Pride of Princes fauour cannot stand And Pride in any thing shall euermore Be bar'd and shut from heau'ns Eternall doore For whosoeuer will beleeue and looke Shall find examples in the sacred hooke That God hath euer 'gainst the proud withstood And that a proud heart neuer came to good He faith Pride is * Toby 4. 13. destruction and agen That Pride is * Toby 4. 13. hatefull before God and men How Prides beginning is from God to fall And of all sinne is the * Toby 4. 13. originall Who taketh hold on Pride in great affliction Shall be o'rethrowne fild with Gods malediction b Eccles 10. Pride was not made for man man hath no part In pride for God * Prouerbes 16. Pro. 29. Eccles. 29 Matt. 23. Luk 1418. Luke 1. Iudith 9. abherreth a proud heart And 't is decreed by the Almighties doome That pride vnto a fearefull fall shall come A person that is prend ne'r pleas'd God yet For how can they please him whom they forget Yet as before I said againe I le say That pride to such a hight is growne this day That many a thousand thousand familie Wer 't not for pride would begge or starue and dye And the most part of them are men of might Who in prides quarrell will both speake and fight I therefore haue no hope to put her downe But Satyre-like to tell her of her owne There is another pride which I must touch It is so bad so base so too too much a Against libellers Most of these Libellers haue an Itching veine of Riming which with much seratching makes scuruy lines so from itch to scratch from scratch to scuruy from scuruy to scabbed they proceed in time with their bâ—â—thing to be termed by knaues and fooles scald Poets Which is if any good mans fortune be To rise to Honourable dignitie Or through infirmity or wilfulnesse Men fall vnhappily into distresse That Libellers doe spirt their wits like froth To raile at Honor and dishonor both These Mungrell whelpes are euer snarling still Hating mens goodnesse glorying in their ill Like blood-hound â—â—rs they daily hunt and sent And rime and Iigge on others detriment Supposing it a very vertuous thing To be an arrant Knaue in libelling Forsooth these Screech-owles would be cal'd the wits Whose flashes flye abroad by girds and fits Who doe their mangy Muses magnifie Making their sports of mens calamity But yet for all their hatefull hellith mirth They are the vilest cowards on the earth For there 's not one that doth a libell frame Dares for his eares subscribe to it his name T is a base brutish pride to take a pen And libell on the miseries of men For why all men are mortall weake and fraile And all from what they should be fall and saile And therefore men should in these slip'ry times Bewaile mens miseries and hate their crimes Let him that stands take heed he doth not fall And not reioyce in mens mis-haps at all It is too much for Libellers to meddle To make their Muse a Hangman or a Beadle At mens misfortunes to deride and iest To adde distresse to those that are distrest As I doe hold mens vices to be vile So at their miseries I le neuer smile And in a word left tediousnesse offend A Libelier's a Knaue and there 's an end Thus hauing of Prides various formes related And how of God and good men it is hated I thinke it fit some Lines in praise to write Of Vertues which to Pride are opposite For vice with shew of
Friend-SHIP VVAs a Vessell of great account and estimation Dautd and lenathan â—â—amon and Pithias Pilades and Orestes Alexander and Lodowicke Scipio and Lealius did loâ—ingly and vnfainedly sayle in her indeed she â—as euer free for all coÌ„mers of what Country exe age or state soeuer for the word Friend â—mportes free end which is as much as the end â—nd intention of Friend-SHIP is free In these â—atter times she should haue gone to sea but â—here were not men to be gotten to man her â—o for a shift they were faine to furnish her with Kinred Nunkles and Couzins with here and there a false Brother Herod and Pilate went aboord this ship with a shamefull deale of loue from the teeth outward but their purpose was to destroy innocent blood It was a merry world when Fidelity was Master of this Ship Constancie his Mate and Platne-dealing the Boatswaine but those worthy Mariners are dead and an old Prouerbe As sure as Check with them in a word the old ship is decay'd and rotten hauing onely the bare name left for she is so much past seruice that shee can hardly steere or beare sayle with an aduerse contrary gale she will fall to Leeward much abominably yet with a prosperous and fortunate wind she will spread all her Canuasse exceeding saire and hypocriticall and so I will describe no further because she is growne to that cheape rate that a man may haue her at Bellingsgate for a box of the care The Friend-SHIP had two very small Pinnaces in her Squadron named 1 The Cogge 2 The Forst other attendants she had few or none for indeed none but these two and one great ship called the Fraude were in request The Fellow-SHIP with her Regiment THis Ship was in old time a Ship of vnity and equality when euery man thought better of his neighbour then of himselfe then the Master and his Mate in louing simpathy had inward fellow feeling of the griefes paines toyles labours infirmities and wants of the meanest Sayler or Ship boy but now the case is so altered that though we be all of one house yet not all Fellowes and though all'in one Liuery yet by your leaue no FellowSHIP for by that consequence many times the Page the Foote-man the Coach-man and his horses might challenge Fellow-SHIP by their trapping and comparable Caparisons Indeed selfe-loue hath bred such a disunion and disconsonance amongst men that one thiefe doth disdaine Fellowship with another so that this Ship to patch vp her reputation in some poore fashion because she will be man'd and laden with none but with fellowes shee caries none but Foot-ball players and Watermen her lading being plowing Oxen Coach-horses Bootes Spurres Shooes Pantoffles Slippers Galloshes Gammashoes Sockes Cuffes Gloues Gantlets case of Rapiers such things as wer by Art or Nature coupled made fellowes this ship was once of that estimation that Iulius Caesar would haue beene content to haue sayled in her but that the great Pompey scorn'd any equality and would by no meanes boord the Fellow-SHIP with any man In briefe she is a vessell of such duplicity that a fellow with one eye one eare hand stone legge or foot must not enter her nor any Sculler or single soald person come within the shaddow of the smokes shaddow of her Ordnance The Ships that went in her Regiment or Squadron were these 1 The Distrust a ship that sayles alwayes neere the Fellow-SHIP 2 The Pickethanke a ship of great imployment that commonly sayes out of sight or hearing her lading being for the most part priuate complaintes whispering intelligences and secret informations 3 The Brawle a turbulent ship in continuall action 4 The Snarle a small dogged Pinnace of more vse then profit The Foot-man-SHIP with her Regiment THis Ship is of most ancient and greatest antiquity for shee was before any other Ship was thought on our old father Adam sayled in her and was the first Foot-man in the world And Prince Absalon the sonne of Dauid had no lesse then fifty of these terrestriall Amblers to passe before him how it came to be called a Ship I cannot relate but by an Anagramaticall or mysticall coniecture the onely trade of a Foote-man is running and running away and quite contrary to valouâ— or man-hood hee is accounted the best â—â—â— amongst them that can run fastest and he â—â—â— called and esteemed a man of good Foot-manSHIP which word Anagramatiz'd is Foe tâ— Man-SHIP importing that running away â—â— an enemy or foe to Man-hood valour and â—â—â— solution thus much by way of Paradox Let the wind blow where it will yet at â—â— weathers this Ship sayles a Trot her ligâ—â— footed nimble-heel'd Mariners likk so â—â—â—â—ny dancers capring in the Pumpes and vaniâ—â— of this sinfull world sometimes a Morrisâ—â— Trenchmore of forty miles long to the Tâ—â— of Dusty my deare Dirty come then to me Dâ—â— of the mire or I wayle in woe and plunge in pâ—â— all these dances haue no other musicke exceâ—â— now and then he chance to heare an oath or â—â— curse or two from the Coachman The Saylers the most part and best of theâ—â— are bred in a Kingdome of much fertility â—â—â— plenty called Realdine where after they hâ—â— all their youth beene accustomed to weâ—â— Brogues and Truzes their fare being mâ—â— times shamrookes oaten-bread beanes â—â— butter milke arm'd vpon starke naked with â—â—â— Dart or a Skeane steeld with the spirit of â—â—â— quabah then they crosse a ditch of eigâ—â— houres sayle and land in the most flourishâ—â— Kingdome of Trtabrâ—e where by their goâ—â— Foot-man SHIP they are turned out of the â—â—â— old habits into Iackets of good Preter plupâ—â— fect Veluet plated with siluer or Argeâ—â—â— viuum for the quickenesse and all to be â—â— embrodered backe and side with the â—â—â— gold twist and the best of the silke-worme sometimes with a Court a Coat of Guard â—â— should say or a Coate of Regard being â—â—â— guarded vnregarded with such as deale â—â— feather ribbans and points that he seemes â—â— bee a running Haberdashers shop of â—â—â— wares Yet are those men free from pride â—â— their greatest ambition is not to ride but â—â— foote it or else to sweepe chimneis or â—â— turne Costermongers this is the altitude â—â—â—â—â— â—â—eir aime and the profundity of their selicity â—â—euerthelesse they know themselues to bâ—e â—reat mens Trappings couragious Torchearers illustrious Fire-drakes glorious and â—â—mptuous Turmoylers they are farre from â—e griping sinnes of Vsury and Extortion and â—e such Philosophicall contemners of the â—orld that euery day they treade it vnder their â—et and trample on it and they are such haâ—rs of wickednesse that they leaue it in all â—laces where they come they are not coueâ—ous of other mens lands for theymake all â—e haste they can euery day to leaue it behind â—em they are so much to be trusted that their words are as good as their bonds yet in â—is their humility they may compare with â—mperours for they are
that which is onely true is too much Thirdly the truth will hardly be beleeued being so much beyond mans reason to conceiue Fourthly I shall runne the hazzard to bee accounted a great lyer in writing the truth Lastly I will not lye on purpose to make all those lyers that esteeme me so Yet by your leaue Master Critick you must giue me licence to flourish my Phrases to embellish my lines to adorne my Oratory to embroder my speeches to enterlace my words to draw out my sayings and to bumbaste the whole suite of the businesse for the time of your wearing For though truth appeareth best bare in matters of Iustice yet in this I hold it decent to attire her with such poore raggs as I haue in stead of Robes First then the place of his birth and names of his parents are to me a meere Terraincognita as farre from my knowledge as content from a Vsurer or honesty from a Bawde but if hee be no Christian the matter is not much hee will serue well enough for a man of Kent and if his education had beene as his Feeding it is euident he had been of most mighty breeding he hath gotten a foule name but I know not if it came to him by Baptisme for it is partly a Nick-name which in the totall is Nicholas I would abate him but a Saint and call him Nicholas Shambles and were the goodnesse of his purse answerable to the greatnesse of his appetite out of all question no man below the Moone would be a better customer to a shambles then he for though he be chaste of his body yet his minde is onely vpon flesh he is the onely Tugmutton or Muttonmonger betwixt Douer and Dunbarr for hee hath eaten a whole Sheepe of sixteene shillings price raw at one meale pardon me I thinke hee left the skin the wooll the hornes and the bones but what talke I of a Sheepe when it is apparantly knowne that he hath at one repast and with one dish feasted his Carkas with all manner of meates All men will confesse that a Hogge will eate any thing either fish flesh fowle root herbe or excrement and this same noble Nick Nicholas or Nicholas Nick hath made an end of a Hogge all at once as if it had bin but a Rabbet â—ucker and presently after for fruit to recreate his palate he hath swallowed three peckes of Damsons thus Philosophically by way of a Chimicall Inâ—usion as a Hogge will eate all things that are to be eaten so he in eating the Hogge did in a manner of extraction distill all manner of meates thorow the Limbeck of his paunch But hold a little I would be loath to cloy my Reader with too much meate and fruit at onceâ— so that after your Sheepe Hogge and Damsons I thinke it best to suffer you to pawse and picke your teeth if you haue any whilst I spend a few words more in Paraphrasing vpon his surname Wood is his Appellation Denomination or how you please to tearme it Some of the ancient Philosophers haue compared man to a Tree with the bottome vpwards whose roote is the Braine the Armes Hands Fingers Legges Feete and Toes are the Limbs and Branches the comparison is very significant many Trees doe bring forth good fruit so doe some fewe men Some stately Trees growe high and faire yet stand for nothing but shades and some men grow high and lofty yet are nothing but shaddows Some Trees are so malignant that nothing can prosper vnder the compasse of their branches and some men are so vnlucky that very few can thriue in their seruice And as of one part of a Tree a Chaire of State may be made and of another part a carued Image and of a third part a stoole of office So men being compounded and composed all of one mould and mettle are different and disconsonant in estates conditions and qualities Too many like the barren Fig-tree beare leaues of hypocrisie but no fruites of Integrity who serue onely for a flourish in this life and a flame â—â— that hereafter So much for that now to returne to my Theame of Wood indeed this last disgressioâ— may make my Reader thinke that I could noâ— see wood for trees what Wood he is I know not but by his face he should be Maple oâ— Crab-tree and by his stomacke sure he iâ— heart of Oake some say he is a Meddler but by his stature he seemes like a low short Pine and certaine I am that hee is Popular a well tymberd piece or a store house for belly tymber Now Gentlemen as I haue walked you amongst the Trees and thorow the Wood I pray set downe and take a taste or two moâ—e of this Banquet What say you to the Leafe or Flecke of â— Brawne new kild to be of weight eight pound and to be eaten hot out of the Bores belly raw much good doe you Gallants was it not â— glorious dish and presently after in stead of â—uckets twelue raw puddings I speake not one word of drinke all this while for indeed he is no drunkard hee abhorres that â—winish vice Alehouses nor Tapsters cannot nick this Nick with froth curtoll Cannes tragical blacke-pots and double-dealing bumbasted Iugges could neuer cheate him for one Pinâ—â— of Beere or Ale is enough to wash downe â— Hog or water a Sheepe with him Two Loynes of Mutton and one Loyne of Veale were but as three Sprats to him Once at Sir Warrham Saint Leigers house and at Sâ—â— William Sydleyes he shewed himselfe so valiant oâ— Teeth and Stomacke that hee ate as much as would well haue seru'd and suffic'd thirty men so that his belly was like to turne bankerupt and breake but that the Seruing-men turn'd him to the fire and anoynted his paunch with Greace and Butter to make it stretch and hold and afterwards being layd in bed hee slepâ— eight houres and fasted all the while which when the Knight vnderstood he commanded him to be laid in the stocks and there to endure as long time as he had laine bedrid with eating Pompey the Great Alexander the Great Tâ—â—berlanâ— the Great Charlemagne or Charles the â—reat Arthur the Great all these gat the â—itle of Great for conquering Kingdomes â—â—d killing of men and surely eating is not a â—â—eaâ—er sinne then rapine theft manslaughâ—â— and murther Therefore this noble Eaâ—aâ—â—â— doth well deserue the Tytle of Great whereâ—â—re I instile him Nicholas the Great Eater â—nd as these forenamed Greats haue ouerâ—rowne and wasted Countreyes and Hosts â—f men with the helpe of their Soldiers and â—â—llowers so hath our Nick the Great in â—â—â—â— owne person without the helpe or ayde â—f any man ouercome conquered and deâ—oured in one weeke as much as would haue â—â—fficed a reasonable and sufficient Army in a â—â—y for hee hath at one meale made an assault â—pon seuen dozen of good Rabbets at the â—ord Wootons in Kent which in the totall is â—â—ure-score which number would well haue â—â—ffic'd
goodly man well sed and corpulent Fill'd like a bag-pudding with good content A right good fellow free of cap and legge Of complement as full as any Egge To speake of Him I know it is of Folly He is a mortall foe to Melancholy Mirth is his life and trade and I thinke very That he was got when all the world was merry Health vpon health he doubled and redoubled Till his and mine and all our braines were troubâ—â—â— Vnto our absent Bitters there we dranke Whom we are bound to loue they not to thanke By vs mine Host could not great profit reape Our meat and lodging was so good and cheape That to his praise thus much I 'l truly tell He vs'd vs kindly euery way and well And though my lines before are merry writ Where-e'r I meet him I 'l acknowledge it To see the Castle there I did desire And vp the Hill I softly did aspire Whereas it stands impregnable in strength Large in Circumference height bredth and lengâ—â— Built on a fertile plat of ground that they Haue yeerely growing twenty loads of Hay Great Ordnance store pasture for Kine and Hoâ—â— Rampires and Walls t' withstand inuasiue forces â—hat it be well with truth and courage man'd â—â—â—ition victuall'd then it can withstand â—â—he powers of twenty Tamberlaines the Great â—â—â— the end with shame they would Retreat â—â—â— is gouern'd by a graue and prudent * â—â— Honourable the Lord Zâ—nch Lord Warden of the â—â—â— ports Lord Whole Iustice doth to each their right afford Whole worth within the Castle and without â—he fiue Ports and the country all about â—he people with much loue doe still recite â—â—â— he makes the wrongers render Right â—he kindnesse I receiued there was such â—ut my remembrance cannot be too much â—â—wa Gun thrice eight foot length of Brasse â—nd in a Wheele I saw a comely Asse â—â—â—â—â— like a Dog that 's turning of a Spit â—nd draw as it were from the infernall pit â—hose deepe Abisse is perpendicular â—he hundred fathome or well neere as farre â—â—christaline so cleere and coole a water â—ut will in Summer make a mans teeth chatter â—â—d when to see it vp I there had stood â—ranke thereof and found it sweet and good â—â—â— farewell Castle Douer Douer Peere â—â—rewell Oast Bradshaw thanks for my good cheer â—â—â— bonny Barke to Sea was bound againe â—â—â— Thursday morne we lanch'd into the Maine â—â—â— Folston â— and by Sangates ancient Castle â—rainst the rugged waues we tugge and wrastle â—â—â— Hyde by Ruâ—â—ey and by Rumney Marsh â—â—â— Tyde against vs and the winde blew harsh â—wixt Eolus and Neptune was such strife â—â—at I ne'r felt worse weather in my life â—â—t and retost retost and tost againe â—â—â— rumbling tumbling on the rowling Maine â—boystrous breaking Billowes curled locks â—petuoâ—sly did beate against the Rockes â—â—â— winde much like a Horse whose wind is broke â—â—â— thicke and short that we were like to choake â—it cutragiously the billowes shaues â—â—â— Gusts like dust blown from the bryny waues â—â—â— thus the winds and seas robustious gods â—â—â— by the eares starke mad at furious ods â—â—ender Ship turmoyld 'twixt shores and Seas â—â—ft or low as stormes and slawes did please â—â—â—etimes vpon a foaming Mountaines top â—â—hose height did seeme the heau'ns to vnderprop â—â—en straight to such profundity she fell â—â—â— she diu'd into the deepest Hell â—â—â— Clowds like ripe Apostumes burst showr'd â—â—eir mastery watery substance headlong powr'd â—â—â— though all things were mutable and fickle â—â—ey all agreed to soâ—se vs in a pickle â—â—â— waters fresh and salt from Seas and Skye â—â—â—ich with our sweat ioynd in triplicity That looking each on other there we saw We neither were halfe stewd nor yet halfe raw But neither hot or cold good flesh or fishes For Caniballs we haâ— beene ex'lent dishes Bright Phoeâ—us hid his golden head with feare Not daring to behold the dangers there Whilst in that straight or Exigent we stand We see and wish to land yet durst not land Like rowling Hills the Billowes beate and roate Against the melancholly Beachie shore That if we landed neither strength or wit Could saue our Boate from being sunke or split To keepe the Sea sterne puffing Eols breath Did threaten still to blow vs all to death The waues amaine vnbid oft boorded vs Whilst we almost three houres beleaguerd thus On euery side with danger and distresse Resolu'd to run on shore at Dengie Nesse There stand some thirteene Cottages together To shelter Fishermen from winde and weather And there some people were as I suppos'd Although the dores and windowes all were clos'dâ— I neere the land into the Sea soone leapt To see what people those same houses kept I knock'd and cal'd at each from house to house But found no forme of mankinde Man or * No dwelling within neere three miles of â—ose Cottages Mouse This newes all sad and comfortlesse and cold Vnto my company I straightwayes told Assuring them the best way I did thinke Was to hale vp the Boate although she sinke Resolued thus we all together please To put her head to shore her sterne to Seas They leaping ouerboâ—rd amidst the Billowes We pluck'd her vp vnsunke like stout tall fellows Thus being wet from top to toe we strip'd Except our shirts and vp and downe weskip'd Till winde and Sunne our wants did well supply And made our outsides and our insides dry Two miles froÌ„ thence a ragged * The townes name is Lydd two miles from Rumney in Kent town there stood To which I went to buy some drinke and food Where kindely ouer-reckon'd well misus'd Was and with much courtesie abus'd Mine Oastesse did account it for no trouble For single fare to make my payment double Yet did her mind and mine agree together That I once gone would neuer more come thither The Cabbins where our Boat lay safe and well Belong'd to men which in this towne did dwell And one of them I thanke him lent vs then The Key to ope his hospitable Den A brazen Kettle and a pewter dish To serue our needs and dresse our flesh and fish Then from the Butchers we bought Lamb sheep Beere from the Alehouse and a Broome to sweepe Our Cottage that for want of vse was musty And most extremely rusty-fusty-dusty There two dayes space we Roast boile broile And toyle and moyle and keepe a noble coyle For onely we kept open house alone And he that wanted Beefe might haue a Stone Our Grandam Earth with beds did al befriend vs And bountifully all our lengths did lend vs That laughing or else lying * Our beds were Cables and Roper outry feather at the least â—â—â— fatham long downe did make Our backes and sides sore and our ribs to ake On Saturday the windes did seeme to cease And brawling Seas began to hold their peace When we like Tenants beggerly and poore Decreed to leaue the Key beneath the doore But
To lying I beare such a hate that I Will neuer wittingly affirme a lye I will not say but I a lye may say But I will not affirme it any way T is the maintaining falshoods to be true To whom a lyers odious name is due That all vntruths are falshoods none denies But sure all falshoods cannot be cald lies For Esops fables Ouids art-like fictions Although they are 'gainst truth meere contradictions Of humane transformations from their kind Of disputations 'twixt the Sunne and winde Of fowles and beasts and riuers trees and stones To tell each other of their ioyes or mones Of men traÌ„sform'd to dogs beares bulls swine apeâ— Which showes that treasons murders incests â—â—â— Turne men into worse forms then beastly creaâ—â— When reason 's dispossest by brutish natures A fiction fable or a harmelesse iest I tolerate but lyes I doe detest Th'Egyptians had a Law that euery lyer Should strait-way be beheaded for their hyre But if that Law wère executed here Few Pettifoggers would be found I feare The very Court would forfeit now and than Many a complementing Gentleman But sure the City were the greatest share Where lying buyes and sells a world of ware The Countrey sometimes would a head allow In selling Corne a Horse a Sow a Cow And then a headsman would get store of pelse If he could but refraine to lye himselfe I haue a memory like as I doe find A wallet â—alfe before and halfe behind In the fore-part my neighbors faults I put Behind quite from my sight mine owne are shâ—â— Thus partiality runnes like a streame To spy a Mout and not to see a Beame But when as reason memory collects T' examine my owne impotent defects Then doth it vnto me such things record As make me almost of my selfe abhord It tells me I was in corruption borne And to corruption that I shall returne It tells me that betwixt my birth and this I haue done thousand thousand thingâ— amisse It bids me to remember what I am To what place I must goe and whence I came And with those thoughts when as my mind is hye I am deiected through humility And this all Great men well remember may They are but Honourable clods of clay Or Reuerend Right Worshipfull graue dust And whence they came againe they thither â—â—â— I say if foolish females with faire features Would but remember they were mortal Creâ—â—â— And that as their good Grandams dy'd before Eu'n so must they and must be seene no more And all their gawdy glory be forgot Whilst they shall lye consume and sâ—inke and â—ot If these things they would to remembrance call Their honyed pleasures would be mix'd with Gall And all and euery one their course would bend Within themselues what is amisse to mend The memory vnto the soule is food That thinks saies doth the thing that 's good I haue a heart doth like a Monarch raigne Who in any Microcosine doth lawes ordaine â—ffections Sences Passions Subiects Slaues â—ome like good Courtiers some like flatt'ring knaues With show of Vertue hiding of their Vice They bring their Lord t' a foolish Paradise For when the heart thinkes swearing an abuse Then Anger saies it is a manly vse And when to quaffe the minde hath no intent â—ffection saies 't is honest merriment The minde calls Letchery abomination â—ence saies 't is Gentleman like recreation The minde holds Couetousnesse worse then theft â—ence calls it Husbandry and frugall thrift Reason delights in liberality â—ence counsels it to prodigality â—nd thus these vassalls doe their King mislead â— Whilst Reason seemes to be asleepe or dead â—nd thus this little Kingdome man doth fade With hearing Traytors when they doe perswade â— haue experience by the which I finde â—hat some though poore in purse are rich in minde â—nd they that haue of wealth the greatest store â—re in content most miserable poore There 's many a Mammonist doth houses keepe With lofty Turrets and with Sellers deepe With a most slately porch and spacious hall â—nd kitchin lesser then a Coblers stall â—here in two dayes a poore halse racke of Mutton â—roclaimes the Master of the house no Glutton Where soule-bewitching gold in bondage is â— As may the keepers be in hells abisse â—here waking thoughts keepe still the mind opprest And frightfull dreames make rest to be vnrest â—nd whereas feares by night and doubts by day â—riue happinesse and sweet content away Much better their is my estate then theirs â— haue content and they the golden cares â— can feed well at home and soundly sleepe And what I haue not care to lose or keepe â— haue consideration to perceiue â—hat's best for me to take and what to leaue â—hen I consider pleasures past and gone â—oth adde affliction to affliction â—hough he that 's low can very hardly rise â—et he that 's high oft falls to miseries He that is downe his feare 's already past â—hilst he that 's vp may haue a slippery cast â— doe consider that I oft did craue â—hings both from God and men vnfit to haue And many times through inconsiderate wit Gifts giuers and receiuers are vnfit He is a liberall man that doth deny â—hat which will doe the askers iniury â—here is a bounty which I will reueale That he ne'r giu's in vaine that giu's in zéale As prodigality brings want and woes â—o liberality makes friends of foes T is better for a man his purse to hold Then giue to make a begger proud or bold True bounty is on earth a speciall grace And hath in heauen prepar'd a glorious place For as the Sunne vnto the moone giu's light Which light she giues againe to vs by night So God doth giue his gifts to lib'rall men Which they to men that want doe giue agen But he that giues should strait forget it quite What they that take in memory should write And I accept alike great gifts and small Onely to me the giuers mind is all T is a base bounty when a man relieues These prostituted Whores or Knaues or Thecues For still the Diuell is bountifull to those That vnto Vertue are inueterate foes But many hold it for a generous part To giue a man that 's drunke theother quart And in a humor to haue Drawers trouble Throw pottle Pots down stairs to come vp double When strait vpon their knees they all accord To drinke a health to some vnworthy Lord Some fusty Madam or some carpet Knight 'Till they can neither speake or stand vpright Then being all abominable drunke A Gallant drinkes a health vnto his Punke The which withall Sir Reucrence strait they are Inioynd to doe vpon their knees all bare If any dare deny to pledge the Drab He 's in great danger of a mortall Stab For he accounts it worse then blasphe my That one should there his Mistris health deny Vntill at last o'r charg'd with too much wine They wallow in their vomits worse then swine Thus many a
pretences vnder the inchanting and various colours of pleasure profit estimation loue reputation and many more the like But of all the e Mrithmetiske Arts I thinke shee bee most vnperfect in Arithmeticke for though she hath beene brought vp to know Diuisions and Multiplications yet she hath traded but by Retaile altogether in Fractions and broken Numbers so that her accounts were seldome or neuer to number her dayes not caring for the past or the future her minde like a Dyall alwayes fixed vpon the present giuen much to ouer and vnder-reckonings for at forty yeeres old she would be but twenty one and at threescore she will be no lesse then fourescore so that the marke being out of her mouth wee must take the Apocryphall account of her age from her owne Arithmeticke without any further warrant Cornelius Agrippa approues a Bawd for an excellent Geometrician for deuising engines to climbe into windowes as Ladders of Ropes or such like to scale the Castle of comfort in the night or the making of Picklockes or false keyes wherein the Bawds care and prouidence is great in greazing and oyling lockes bolts and hinges to auoid noise shee knowes her Angles Triangles Quadrangles squares rounds circles semicircles and centers her altitudes longitudes latitudes and demensions yet for all this skill of hers she hath much adoe to liue squarely according to Geometricall rules or to liue within any reasonable Compasse As for Musicke It is to be coniectured by her long practice in prickesong that there is not any note aboue Ela or below Gammoth but she knowes the Diapason a Bawd is old dogge at a hornepipe her chiefest instrument is a Sackbut her female minikins doe bring in her meanes and her trebles the tenor of all is that her selfe is the Base Besides there are many pretty prouocatory dances as the kissing dance the cushin dance the shaking of the sheets and such like which are important instrumentall causes whereby the skilfull hath both clyents and custome Poetry many times though she vnderstand it not doth her as good seruice for the most of our great Bawds are diligently waited on by scurrilous oylie sonneting practicall Poeticall a Geometry b Musicke d Poetry Panegyricall Panders quaint trencher Epigrammatists hungry and needy Anagraâ—â— mongers their conceits being either commending or prouoking Bawdry as one being requested by a Gentleman to inuent him a poesie for a Ring which hee ment to giue his Loue the conceit was Haue you any Logges to cleaue Painting and grauing are now and then profitable seruants to Bawds as the naked Pictures of Venus and Diana and her darlings Aretine and diuers other in that kinde can testifie but commonly all she Bawds are or haue beene painters themselues or painters of themselues by which bold practice they are bold aduenturous impudent and audacious fearing no colours As for Physicke and Chirurgery shee hath beene so much practis'd vpon that by long continuance shee 's a most excellent Empericke so that a man need not doubt but an ancient professed Bawd can play the Mountebanke Moreouer many old Bawds are skil'd in Palmestry or Chiromancy by looking into the hand of a man or woman or Phisiognomy and Metoposcopi in viewing of the face or forehead by which shee professeth to tell the parties how many husbands or wiues they shall haue how long they shall liue when they are neere a good or bad turne but aboue all her skill is much credited to helpe yong women breed and fructifie so that if shee be as barren as a Stockfish yet the matronly medicines and instructions of this wise cunning woman will iâ— a little time make her encrease with a vengeance and multiply with a mischiefe Besides her skill in these forenamed Arts and sciences she hath an insight and practice into all Mysteries and manuall trades she caâ— imitate a deceitfull Mercer in setting out her ware faire to the eye and false in the dye with an outside of glorious glosse and an inside of rotten decayed drosse more for pride or pleasure then for prouidence or profit a Painting b Physicke and Chirurgerie c Taimâ—â— and Fortune-telling d Mercer Like a bold a Grocer Grocer she cares not a Figge for any man she knows flesh is fraile yet she hath many Reasons to liue by she runs her race long and she is able to Pepper as many as haue any dealing with her tooth Lickorish tongue Lickorish c. shee knowes a bribe to a Catchpole is as sufficient as an Almond for a Parrot to free her from the heate of the Mace Master Cloue at the signe of the Sugar-loafe is a sweet youth whose Candied Visitation will keepe her estate Currant till age and diseases weare her quite out of date b Draper A yong rich heire newly come to his lands or portion is a Bawds Broadcloth whom shee measures out in parts I will not tell you with what yard but I thinke no London measure till in the end onely a poore remnant remaines her meaner Merchandise are tradesmen and poore seruing-men these serue for course Kerseyes Bayes Cottons and Pennistones to line her inside with Sacke hot waters and Aqua vitae Though she liue after the flesh all is c Fishmongers and Fishermen Fish that comes to the net with her shee is a cunning Angler and gets her liuing by hooke or by crooke shee hath baits for all kind of Frye A great Lord is her Groneland Whale a Countrey Gentleman is her Gods-head a rich Citizens sonne is her sows'd Gurnet or her Gudgeâ—n A Puritan is her Whitingmop her Lobster is a scarlet Townsman and a seuere Iustice of Peace is her Crab her meanest customers are Sprats and Pilchards whilest the Puncke is her salt Eele and the Pander her Sharke and Sword-fish And though shee deale most in Scorpio yet shee holds correspondency with Pisces for they both are signes that attend vpon Venus Fryday is her day and a day of doome to more fish then all the dayes in the weeke beside And fish by nature is prouocatory as appeares by the chaste liues of fasting fish-eating Fryers and Nuns whose notorious qusia meritorious continency is touched partly afore Shee differs from the d Goldsmith Goldsmith in the Tutch the Test and the weight yet she puts the best side of her ware outward shee casts and hammers her wenches into all fashions thee hath them burnished pollish'd punch'd and turnd and if any of them by a fall or too much heat be bruis'd crack'd or broken shee can soder them together againe and make them marketable There is scarce any Art mystery trade or manuall occupation but a Bawd hath a reference or allusion to it or it to her Therefore to runne diuision through them all would be long labour to little purpose In which respects hauing spoken of a few He sâ—ip ouer the rest to auoid tediousnesse and to free my selfe from the imputation
where there is not any thing to steale or for one to liue chast in a Monasterie or Nunnery But here is the eminency of abstinence and the true praise of vertue for a man to saft at a delicious feast to be cleere from bribes or gentle rewards where oppressions extortions strifes and contentions doe continually grow and multiply To be sober and thirsty where wines and strong drinkes are plenty in variety to be true and trustie amongst inestimable Iewels vncountable Treasure or vntold Gold These are superarogating vertues which though many boast of yet few attaine to now the Bawd liues in the storehouse of libidinous confraternity in the shop of Venery in the garden of lasciuious pleasure in the euer growing and flourishing field of vanity amongst those that practise the excesse of luxury none so neere within ken of wantonnesse and dalliance shee admits into her house men flourishing in yeeres hot in their desires and willing in performance yet for ought I know a The chastity of a Bawd a Bawd was neuer accused for committing fomication in her owne person which is a rare marke of abstinence for who can produce out of any record that a Bawd was euer carted for playing the Whore And this is her comfort when she is carted that shee rides when all her followers goe on foot that euery Dunghill payes her homage and euery Tauerne looking-glasse powres bountifull reflection vpon her the streets and windowes are full of spectators of her pompe Shouts acclamations and ringing on well tuned Banbury kettle-drums and barbarous Basins proclaime and sound forth her triumphant progresse whilest shee rides embrodered all ouer like a Lady of the soyle conducted in state out of the Easterne suburbs to set vp her trade fresh and new in the West As concerning Religion or matters of * The conscience and religion of a Bawd Conscience shee is a creature that will neuer runne mad with beating her braines in any point of such high quality For whereas it is a speech or prouerbe to say that an extortioner vsurer or corrupted Magistrate hath a Large Conscience so on the other part it is a saying thasuch a man or woman hath no Conscience now betweene these extremes of large and none the Bawd doth obserue the mediocrity or meane for to say that shee hath a large Catholike or vniuersall Conscience to entertaine all commers or all that would come to her is false for her conscience is bounded caged and imprisoned and limited in any mans purse or pocket of what estate condition or Religion soeuer On the contrary to say that shee hath no Conscience at all it were to doe her an open iniury for shee doth extend her entertainment to as many as please to please her and her charity doth alwaies stretch as far as any mans mony will reach And to speake the truth she hath great reason on her side for if a man let his Horse to hire or Asse to market he will looke to bee paide for the trauell or paines of his Beast and shall a Bawd let her Soule to the Deuill for nothing A Knight of the Poast will not hazzard damnation and his eares to the Pillory to boote but if he be wise he will bee well paid for his labour Will any great man oppresse and vndoe a whole Country and with the losse of the Kingdome of Heauen purchase an accursed portion of Earth but that hee will haue terrestriall Angels minister to him here making no account of the celestiall hereafter And shall the conscience of a Bawd bee pinfolded so straitly that her soule shall be of lesse esteeme then a Hackney man makes of his Horse or Asse or a swearing and for swearing Rogue doth of his eares no no my Masters shee is wiser then so shee thinks it is a long iourney to Hell and therefore she doth thriftily prouide to saue charges that other men shall pay for her passage or Coach-hire shee will not trauell so farre vpon her owne cost shee is so well beloued that euery one of her customers will or must giue her something toward the reckoning shee hath more policy in her then to bee damn'd for nothing and shee scornes to vsurpe a place in Hell without iust title or desert As for her Religion it is of the same peece as her conscience is there went but a paire of sheeres betweene with the Papist shee will be Ceremonious for the Crosse * Of mens money with the Puritan shee will bee precise casting her eyes vp when her thoughts are downe and accept the * Crosse and Pyle pyle shee hath so brought vp her schollers that the name of God is too often in their mouthes for they will sweare either with or without occasion and as concerning matters of truth shee hath brought them vp so that they will lye with any man Most of them are of the sect of the Family of Loue they differ onely in this the familists doe hold opinion that onely when the husband sleepes that the wife may take as much liberty as a Cat to play c. but the Bawd doth allow a larger toleration and admits either man or woman to haue accesse and vse their exercise both sleeping and waking Shee is indeed addicted to any Religion or all or none no further then her ease and profit doth incite her for she knowes that charity is a good huswife and will begin her owne worke at home first In which respect a Bawd holds a high point of doctrine to loue her selfe better then she doth all the world besides and in this shee differs much from a Romane Catholike that she builds not vpon her Workes or hath any hope to be saued by her merits And should persecution come she will be no Martyr she will neither hang for one religion or burne for another shee knowes that she came a raw creature into the world and her resolution is that neither religion or conscience shall send her roasted out of it And thus I would haue the Reader to consider that the paines that I haue taken in this description of a Bawd is more then I would willingly doe for the honestest woman that dwels betweene Smithfield barres and Clerkenwell and I know that there is not any of the trade so ingratefull but that if my selfe or any friend of mine haue occasion to vse them they will doe their best for me and goe as neere as they can to take our money Neither haue I discoursed of any vpstart new fangled bable or toy but of an ancient solid reall and lasting thing for when all trades are trade-falne and broken a Bawd may set vp with little worth or a thing of naught and many times her lucke is so fortunate that she will * A Bawd is an excellent Chimmist extract out of sinne and wickednesse good money good cloathes good meat and almost good any thing but good conscience but that is but a poore beggerly vertue which her
IT was at that time that the worlds terrour and warres Thunder-bolt Allaricke King of the Gothes wasted Italy sacked Rome and stooke all the Kingdomes of the earth into a Feuertertian when there was inhabiting in the Dukedome of Tuscanye a valiant Captaine named Catso descended from the Royall house of Frigus the first King of the Fridgians This Catso being driuen to his shifts in these robustuous bickerings of the Gothes fled for safety to the I le of Sardinia where for his good parts and free behauiour hee was entertained by the most beautifull Madam Meretricia the delightfull daughter and sole heire of Baloclitus King of Sardis yet although his place was chiefe Gentleman of the Bid-Chamber his high pitcht resolution was eleuated and erected for trauell and hotter seruices So with much griefe to the Lady hee tooke his leaue and sayling through the straits of Gibralter and the gulphe of Madye Lane hee past the Cape Bona Esperance as farre as China where hee staid certaine daies at Iappan then hee determined to progresse it by land and passing by the great Citty of Tarsus in Idumea by long iourneys hee came to Gallicia where nere to Greyne hee was in hot seruice and came off somewhat scortch'd with fire workes in a mine passing from thence hee came into France where hee was well wel-com'd at Brest and at the Towne of Deipe was made great prouision for his comming but for some reasons hee would neuer come there In briefe after hee had approu'd himselfe a hot valiant and aduenturous Souldier abroad and a peace-maker aâ—â—â— home hee came into Ireland where at Dubblâ— hee was strucke lame but recouering neâ— strength and courage hee snip'd himselfe foâ— England landed at West-Chester whence taking pofte towards London hee lodg'd at â—â—â— ley in the hole in his way at last being come to the Citty hee made many merry and mad vageries betwixt Turnebull-street and Burnt-wood spending freely and faring deliciously hauing a stiffe stomacke to digest all dishes except Winchester Geese and Newmarket Turkies â—â—â— thus with much danger and difficulty hauing trauelled farther then euer man saw and passed his time with much loue amongst Ladyes and Gentlewomen hauing beene a great with stander of many desperate oppositions and â—â—â— rare Musitian for his long practice in Prickesong He againe past the Sea in a Frigget to Constantinople where hee fell into a moody melancholy like Tymon of Athens and scorned to stand at any time although he was charged in the name of the Graund Signior This Gallant hauing beene all his time a great vser wearer and taker vp of Napery did most bountifully bequeath to any Poet that would write a Poeme in the praise of Cleane Linnen as many shirts of the purest Holland as might bee wash'd in Hellicon and dryed on the two topt hill of Parnassus To performe whose commaund and receiue the bequeathed Legacie I vndertooke this great taske and perform'd it accordingly FINIS THE TRVE CAVSE OF THE WATERMENS Suit concerning Players and the reasons that their Playing on London side is their extreame hindrances With a Relation how farre that suit was proceeded in and the occasions that it was not effected THe occasions that hath moued me to write this Pamphlet are many and forcible and the Attempt in wriring it aduenturous and full of danger for as on the one side I doubt not but with truth to stop the mouthes of Ignorance and Mallice that haue and doe daily scandalize mee and withall I know I shall purchase a generall thankes from all honest men of my Company so I am assured to gaine the hatred of some that loue mee well and I affect them no worse only for my plaine truth and discharging my conscience But fall back fall edge come what can come I am resolued and without feare or flattery thus I beginne In the month of Ianuary last 1613. there was a motion made by some of the better sort of the company of Watermen that it were necessary for the reliefe of such a decayed multitude to petition to his Maiesty that the Players might not haue a play-house in London or in Middlesex within foure miles of the City on that side of the Thames Now this request may seeme harsh and not well to bee disgested by the Players and their Apendixes But the reasons that mou'd vs vnto it being claritably considered makes the suite not only seeme reasonable but past seeming most necessary to be sued for and tollerable to bee granted Out petition being written to purpose aforesaid I was selected by my company to deliuer it to his Maiesty and follow the businesse which I did with that care and integrity that I am assured none can iustly taxe me with the contrary I did ride twice to Theobalds once to Newmarket and twice to Roystone before I could get a reference vpon my petition I had to beare my charge of my company first and last seuen pound two shillings which horshire horse meat and mans meat brought to a consumption besides I wrote seuerall petitions to most of the Right Honourable Lords of his Maiesties Priuy Counsell and I found them all compassionately affected to the necessity of our cause First I did briefly declare part of the seruices that Watermen had done in Queene Elizabeths raigne of famous memory in the voyage to Portingale with the Right Honorable and neuer to be forgotten Earle of Essex then after that how it pleased God in that great deliuerance in the yeere 1588. to make Watermen good seruiceable instruments with their losse of liues and limbs to defend their Prince and Country Moreouer many of them serued with Sir Francis Drake Sir Iohn Hawkins Sir Martin Frobusher and others besides in Cales action the Iland voyage in Ireland in the Lowcuntryes and in the narrow Seas they haue beene as in duty they are bound at continuall command so that euery Summer 1500. or 2000. of them were imployed to the places asoresaid hauing but nine shillings foure pence the month a peece for their pay and yet were they abâ—e then to set themselues out like men with shift of Apparell linnen and wollen and forbeare charging of their Prince for their pay sometimes sixe months nine months twelue months sometimes more for then there were so few Watermen and the one halfe of them being at Sea those that staid at home had as much worke as they would doe Afterwards the Players began to play on the Bank-side and to leaue playing in London and Middlesex for the most part then there went such great concourse of people by water that the smal number of watermen remaining at home were not able to carry them by reason of the Court the Tearmes the Players and other imployments so that we were inforced and encouraged hoping that this golden stirring world would haue lasted euer to take and entertaine men and boyes which boyes are growne men and keepers of houses many of them being ouer-charged with families of Wife and
was buried at Winchester 115. Saint Edward 1043. 116. Harold the second 1066. SAint Edward from the Danes this Kingdom freedâ— And for he had no Heyre he heere decreed That William Duke of Normandy should be Next King but Harold seem â—â—â— to agree As soone as Edward was laid in his Toombe This hasty Harold mounted in his roome But William came from Normanay amaine By whom King Harold was vnking'd and slaine The end of the first part The second part William Conquerour An. Dom. 1066. VVHen Britains Romanes Saxons Danes had done The Normans fiftly Englandâ— glory wonâ— New Lords brought in new Lawes incontinent And all were Conquer'd but the County Kent King William after he had all surpriz'd Insulted domineer'd and tyranniz'd All Englishmen like slaues their doores must lock On paine of death each night at eight of clocke The English from all Officâ— were disgrac'd And in their places the proud French were plac'd â—â—ill beating down the right with wrong on wrong Disdaining men should speake the English tongue And so to bring our memory to naught The Grammar and the Lawes in French were taught King Swanus Sonnes with Danes a mighty band Arriu'd in Humber to inuade the Land Then Yorke was burnt the wealth away was borne And Danes on Composition home did turne A dearth in England was so great that heere Cats Dogs and mans flesh was our wofull cheere The Mercians and Northumbers they rebel'd Strong warres the Scott within our Country held The I le of Ely did the King surprize He caus'd the Rebels lose hands feet and eyes The Normans did rebell and were subdu'd Danes came and fled with all their multitude The Kings sonne Robert by the French Kings ayd Did diuers parts of Normandy inuade The Scots spoild England with all might and maine And Durbans Bishop in a broyle was slaine Heere euery Acre of mens Lands were measur'd And by a heauy taxe the King was treasur'd Slaine by a Deere the Kings sonne lost his life And Glassenbury Monkes were kill'd in strife The English Nobles almost were decay'd And euery place of rule the Normans swai'd And all mens goods and lands and coyn were rated Through England and vnto the King related The French mens pride did England ouerwhelme And grieuous tributes did oppresse the Realme Churches and Chappels were throwne down with speed â—o make New Forrest as the King decreed Who hauing rul'd in trouble toyle and care And tryannously pol'd this Kingdome bare Neere twenty one yeeres death was then his bane He lyes in Normandy enterr'd at Cane William Conquerour was crowned on Christmas-day 1067 the yeere then beginning on that day In the â—â—â—â— Forrest in Hampshire called New Forrest â—â—ere this King had defaced many Churches wherein the â—â—â— of God was called vpon and placed wild Beasts for His disportun the same Forrest two of his owne sonnes were â—â—â—â— Prince Robert killed by a Deere and William Rufus by a Knight shooting at a Deere William Rufus An. Dom. 1087. WIlliam the cruell Conquerours second Sonne With ease got what his Fathers paines had won Oppressed England he opprest and prest And great Exactions wrongfully did wrest For Symony and base corrupting gold The King most Churches and Church-liuings sold And more his Subiects vilely to abuse Against them he in armes did arme the Iewes And swore if they the victory did gaine That he their faithlesse faith would entertaine Vpon his eldest brother hee raysd warres His youngest brother troubled him with iarres At London such a furious winde did blow Which did sixe hundred houses ouerthrow The City Gloster was by Welshmen sack'd Northumberland was by King William wrack'd William de Oue and William de Aluery In cruell torments dyed at Salisbury Duke Robert laid all Normandy to gage Vnto the King warres with the Turkes to wage Westminster Hall was built the Danes came in And th' Orchades and the I le of Man did win But as the King was hunting in Hampshire Sir Walter Tâ—rrâ—ll shooting at a Deere The Arrow glauncing'gainst a Tree by chance Th' vnhappy King kild by the haâ—lesse Glaunce A Comers Cart to Winchester did bring The Corps where vnbemoand they laid the King Rufus In the 8. yeere of his reigne the Christian Army went to Ierusalem vnder the conduct of Godfry Duke of Bulleine in which warres serued Robert Duke of Normandy the Kings eldest brother who pawned his Dukedome for 16666. pounds weight of siluer In the 11. yeere the Lands of the late Earle Godwine sunk in the sea and are to this day called Godwine â—ands This King died the 2. of August 1100. He reigned 12. yeeres 11. Moneths and was buried at Winchester Henry the first An. Dom. 1100. THis Henry for his wisedome Beuclarke nam'd Th'vnlawfull Lawes and measures he reclaim'd The Norman Duke eld'st Brother to the King To claime the Crowne a mighty Hoast did bring Saint Bartholâ—mewes was founded and Saint Gyles And Henry stop'd Duke Roberts mouth with wiles Then peace was made but after warres did rise The King tooke's brother and put out his eyes Here Windsor Church and Castle were erected And Wales rebeld most sharpely was corrected All the King's Sonnes and eight score persons more Were drown'd by tempest neere the Norman shore Thus all his Ioy in Childrens losse bereft Saue onely Maud the Widdow Empresse left Whom Geffrey Anioy's Earle to wife did get From whom did spring the name Plantagenet The King proclaim'd his Daughter or her seede After his death should in the Realme succeede And after thirty fiue yeeres time was past King Henry by a surfet breath'd his last Much trouble in his dayes this Kingdome wearied He dyed and dead at Redding he lies buried Thus God that lifts the low casts downe the high Caus'd all the Conquerors sonnes vntimely dye Henry the â— He held the Crowne wrongfully from his elder brother Robert Duke of Normandy and ouercomming him in battell most vnnaturally put out his eâ—es he reigned 35. yeeres his braines eyes and bowels were buried at Roane in France and the rest of his body at Redding his Phisicion that opened his head was killed suddainely with the stench of his braiâ—er King Stephen An. Dom. 1135. STephen Earle of Bâ—loigâ— th' Earle of Bloyâ— his son From th' Empresse Mâ—nd this famous Kingdome won Domestike forraigne dangerous discords 'Twixt factions factions of the King and 's Lords Wars 'twixt the King and th' Empresse for the crown Both tasted Fortunes fauours and her frowne Now vp now downe like balles at Tennis tost Till Stephen gain'd the goale and th ' Empresse lost And after eighteene yeeres were come and gone The King not hauing any lawfull Sonne He dyed and chang'd his Kingdome his strength For a small Sepulcher of sixe foote length King Stephen He was noble valiant liberall and politique and almost in continuall trouble In the 1. yeere of his reigne a fire burnt all the streete from London-stone East to Pauls and West to Algate and within 2.
the Iaylor in one sâ—rinking roome Hath sixe beds for the Gallant and the Groome In lowsie linnen ragged couerlets Twelue men to lodge in those sixe beds he sets For which each man doth pay a groat a night Which weekely's eight and twenty shillings right Thus one foule dirty roome from men vnwilling Draws yearely seauenty three pound six ecn shilling Besides a Iaylor to keepe men in feare Will like a demi diuill dominere Roare like a Bearward grumble snarle and growle Like a Towre Cat. a Mountaine stare and sâ—owlâ— He and she serieant may be coupled too As bane of Mankind for they both vndoe Th' Extortioner and Broaker nam'd before Hauing both bit and grip'd a mans state fore In comes the Serieant for his breakfast then Drags him to th'layle to be new squeezd agen And thence he gets not there he shall not start Till the last drop of bloud 's wrong from his heart Yet I haue heard some Serieants haue beene mild And vs'd their Prisoner like a Christians child Nip'd him in priuate neuer trig'd his way As Bâ—ndogs earrion but faire went away Follow'd aloofe shew'd himselfe kind and meeke And lodg'd him in his owne house for a weeke You 'd wonder at such kin inâ—ffâ— in a man So many Regions from a Christian â—â—â— what 's the cause I le lead you out o' th mâ—â— T is twenty shillings euery day he slayes Besides the Serieants wife must haue a stroke At the poore teate some outside she must foake Although she tridge for 't whil'st good fortunes fall He shall command house serieant and all â—â—â— may it come by th' side o' th breeding woman The Serianes Son's a Gentleman no Yeoman And Whil'st they fish from mens decayes and wants Their wiues may proue foule fleshly Cormorants Tâ—â—s a bad serieant and a Iaylor both â—â—â— Cormorants which all good people loath And yet amongst them some good men there are Like sâ—ow at Midsommer exceeding rare A Symonicall Patron and his penny Clarke THE ARGVMENT Here Magus seeketh holy things to buy With cursed bribes and base corrupting gold Lets soules for want of Preaching starue and dye Fleres and slayes his flockes bare pill'd and pold That to speake truth in spight of who controls Such Clarkes and Patron murther many soules THis is the bane both of the age and men A Patron with his benesices ten That wallowes in fat Liuings a Church leach And cannot keepe out of my Corm'rants reach One of these Patrons doth deuoure his Clarks As they doe perish Soules after foure Markes And euery yeare a paire of new high shooes For which betwixt two Churches he doth vse Each Sabbath day with diligence to trot â—t to what purpose few or none know not Except it be'cause would hee eate and feed â—â—â— starue two Cures for he can hardly reade This Sir Iohn Lacklatine true course doth keepe To preach the Vestry men all fast asleepe And boxe and cuffe a Pulpit mightily Speaking non-sence with nose-wise grauity These youths in Art purse and acire most bare Giue their attendance â—â—â— sleepe faire King once hir'd he 'l â—â—â—ase his Lord His surly Patron nor dares pieâ—ch a word Bâ—â— where he giues the text and that must be Some place of Scripture bites no vsury Exortion or the like but some calme Law That will not sret his sore bâ—t nere so raw As calmely preacâ—'d as lamely too express't With clamarous yell that likes the Parish best This Clarke shall be a drudge too all his time Weâ—â—s in the garden bearesouâ— dâ—ng and sâ—â—me Then vp â— Sabbath dayes the â—eâ—oyâ—e beginnes â—â—â— vnhallowâ—d hands to weed vp sinnes And from cap â—â—ing all â—is weeke dayes spent Comes then to giue the Cup at Sacâ—ament And â—rom his trencher waiting goes â—o serue Spirituall food to those that almost statue And what 's this Clarke that 's of such seruâ—e minde Some smarting Pedaâ— or mechanicke hinde Who taking an intelligencâ—rs place Against poore tenants sust crept into grace And drudges for eight pounds a yeare perhaps With his great vailes of sundayes trencher scraps This makes the scared â—â—be of â—â—â—â— glad That many of them proue the Tribe of Gâ—d This makes good Schollers iustly to complaine When Patrons take they care not who for gaine When as a Carter shall more wages haue Then a good Preacher that helpâ—s Soules to saue These Cormorants Gods part doth eate and cram And to they fare well care not who they damne The people scarce know what a Sermon meanes For a good Preacher there can haue no meanes To keepe himselfe with â—â—atheâ— and book bread Nor scarce a pillow t'vnderlay his head The whil'st the Patrons wife my Lady Gay Fares and is deckt most dainty euery day Shee 'l see that preaching trouble not the â—owne And weares a hundred Sermons in a Gowne She hath a Preachers liuing on her backe For which the soules of many goes to wracke And hires a mungrell cheaply by the yeare To famish those christs bloud hath bought so deare What greater cruelty can this exceed Then to pine those whom I â—â—â— bids them feed These are hels cultures Tophets greedy â—owles That proue like diuels Cormorants of Soules A Country Yeoman THE ARGVMENT Here Dauy Dicker comes God speed the Plough Whose Sonne 's a Gentleman and hâ—â—â— and hawkes His Farme good cloathes and Seeding â—â—â— allow And what so â—re of him the Country talkes His â—â—me's in â—â—â— with feather in his head Vntill a Begger bring a Foole to bed THe Romane Histories doe true relate How â—â—â—â—â—â— chang'd his Emp'rors state To liue in quiet in a Country Farme Out of the reach of treasons dangerous arme Then was a Farmer like a lab'ring Art And not a â—â—â— deuouring Cormorant For if a Gentleman hath Lard to let He 'l haue it at what price so'ere 't is set And bids and ouer bids and will giue more Then any man could make of it before Offers the Landlord more then he would craue And buyes it though he neither get nor saue And whereas Gentleman their Land would let At rates that tenants might both saue and get This Cormorant will giue his Landlord more Then he would aske in hope that from the poore He may extort it double by the rate Which he will sell his corne and cattle at At pining famine he will ne're repine 'T is plenty makes this Cormorant to whine To hoard vp corne with many a bitter ban From windowes Orphanes and the lab'ring man He prayes for raine in haâ—uest night and day To rot and to consume the graine and hay That so his mowes and reeks and stacks that mould At his owne price he may translate to gold But if a plenty come this rauening thiefe Torments sometimes hangs himselfe with griefe An all this raking toyle and carke and care Is for his elownish first borne Sonne and heyre Who must be gentled by his ill got pelfe Though he to get it got the diuell himselfe And
for it is walled and ditched about with a draw-bridge and the prisoner came on foote with a Diuine with him all the way exhorting him to repentance and because death should not terrifie him they had giuen him many rowses and carowses of wine and beere for it is the custome there to make such poore wretches drunke wherby they may be sencelesse eyther of Gods mercy or their owne misery but being prayed for by others they themselues may die resolutely or to be feared desperately But the prisoner being come to the place of death he was by the officers deliuered to the hangman who entring his strangling fortification with two grand hangmen more and their â— which were come from the City of Luâ—â— and another Towne which I cannot name to assist their Hamburghian brother in this great â—â— weightie worke the draw-bridge was drawne â—d the Prisoner mounted on a mount of â—â— built high on purpose that the people without may see the execution a quarter of a mile round about foure of the Hangmans men takes each of them a small halter and by the hands and the feet they hold the Prisoners extended all abroad lying on his backe then the Arch-hangman or the great Master of this mighty businesse tooke vp a wheele much about the bignesse of one of the fore-wheeles of a Coach â—â— hauing put off his doubler his hat and being in his shirt as if he meant to play at tennis he tooke the wheele and set it on the edge and â—â— it with one hand like a top or a whirligig then he tooke it by the spoakes and lifting it vp with a mightie stroake he beate one of the poore wretches leggs in peeces the bones I meane at which he rored grieuously then after a little pawse he breakes the other leg in the same manner and consequently breakes his armes and then he stroke foure or fiue maine blowes on his brest and burst all his bulke and cheâ—â— in shiuers lastly he smoate his necke and missing burst his chin and iawes to mammockes then he tooke the broken mangled corps and spread it on the wheele and thrust a great post or pile into the Naue or hole of the wheele and then fixed the post into the earth some sixe foot deepe beeing in height aboue the ground some ten or twelue foote and there the carkasse must lye till it bee consumed by all consuming time or rauening Fowles This was the terrible manner of this horrid execution and at this place are twenty posts with those wheeles or peeces of wheeles with heads of men nailed on the top of the posts with a great spike driuen through the skull The seuerall kinds of torments which they inflict vpon offenders in those parts makes mee to imagine our English hanging to be but a flea-biting Moreouer if any man in those parts are to be beheaded the fashion is that the Pâ—soner kneels downe and being blinded with a Napkin one takes hold of the haire of the crowne of the head holding the party vpright whilst the hangman with a backeward blow with a sword will take the head from a mans shoulders so nimbly and with such dextertie that the owner of the head shall neuer want the misse of it And if it be any maâ—s fortune to be hanged for neuer so small a crime though he bee mounted whole yet hee shall come downe in peeces for hee shall hang till euery ioynt and Limbe drop one from another They haue strange torments and varieties of deaths according to the various nature of the offences that are committed as for example hee that counterfeits any Princes coyne and is prooued a Coyner his iudgement is to be boyled to death in oyle not throwne into the vessell all at once but with a pulley or a Rope to bee hanged vnder the Arme pits and let downe into the oile by degrees first the feete and next the legs and so to boyle his flesh from his bones aliue For those that set houses on fire wilfully they are smoaked to death as first there is a pile or post fixed in the ground and within an English Ell of it is a peece of wood nailed crosse whereupon the offender is made fast fitting then ouer the top of the post is whelmed a great tub or Dryfat which doth couer or ouerwhelme the Prisone as low as the middle Then vnderneath the executioner hath wet straw hay stubble or such kind of stuffe which is fired but by reason it is wet and danke it doth not burne but molder and smoake which smoake ascends vp into the tub where the Prisoners head is and not being able to speake he will heaue vp and downe with his belly and people may perceiue him in these torments to liue three or foure houres Adultery there if it bee prooued is punished with death as the losse of both the parties heads if they bee both married or if not both yet the married party must dye for iâ— and the other must endure some easier punishment eyther by the purse or carkasse which in the end proues little better then halfe a hanging But as after a tempest a calme is best welcome so I imagine it not amisse after all this tragicall harsh discourse to sweeten the Readers pallat with a few Comicall reports which were related vnto me wherein I seeme fabulous it must be remembered that I claime the priuiledge of a traueller who hath authority to report all that he heares and sees and more too I was informed of a fellow that was hanged somwhat neere the high way within a mile or two of Collcin and the fashion being to hang with a halter and a chaine that when the haulter is rotten with the weather the carkafse drops a butten hole lower into the chaine Now it fortuned that this fellow was executed on a winters afternoone towards night and being hanged the chaine was shorter then the halter by reason whereof he was not strangled but by the gamming of the chaine which could not slip close to his necke he hanged in great torments vnder the Iawes it happened that as soone as hee was trust vp there fell a great storme of raine and winde whereupon all the people ran away from the Gallowes to shelter themselues But night being come and the moone shining bright it chanced that a Country Boore or a waggoner and his Sonne with him were driuing their empty waggon by the place where the fellow was hanged who being not choaked in the extremity of his paines did stirre his legges and writhe and crumple his body which the waggoners Sonne perceiued and said Father looke the man vpon the Gallowes doth mooue quoth the old man he moues indeed I pray the let vs make hast and put the Waggon vnder the Gibbet to see if we can vnhang and saue him This being said was quickely done and the wretch halfe dead was laid in straw in the Boores waggon and carried home where with good attendance he was in foure
or fiue dayes recouered to his health but that he had a cricke in his necke â— the cramp in his iawes The old man was glad that he had done so good a deed as he thought began to giue the thiefe Fatherly counsell and told him that it was Gods great mercy towards him to make me quoth he the Instrument of thy deliuerance and therfore looke that thou make good vse of this his gracious fauour towards thee and labour to redeeme the time thou hast mispea get thy into some other Princes countrey where thy former crimes may not bring thee into the danger of the Law againe and there with honest industrious endeuours get the liuing The thiefe seemed willing to entertaine these good admonitions and thanked the Boore and his Sonne telling them that the next morning he would be gone â— and if euer his fortunes made him able he promised to be so grateful vnto them that they should haue cause to say their great curtesies were well bestowed vpon him but all his sugred sweete promises were in the proofe but Gall and wormwood in the performance for this gracelesse Caitiffe arose betimes in the morning and drew on a paire of Bootes and spurres which were the mans sonnes of the house and slipping out of the doores went to the stable and stole one of his kind hosts best horses and away rode hee The man and his Sonne when they were vp and missed the thiefe and the horse were amazed at the ingratitude of the wretch and with all speed his soone and he rode seuerall waies in pursuit of him and in briefe one of them tooke him and brought him backe to their house againe and when it was night they bound him and laid â—â—â—â— in their waggon hauing deafe eares and hardned hearts to all his intreaties and away to the Gallowes where they found him hanging there they with the halter being a little shortened they left him The next day the Country people wondred to see him hanging there again for they had seen him hanged and missed him gone and now tobe thus strangely priuately come againe in boote and spurres whereas they remembred at his first hanging he had shoes stockings it made them muse what iourney he had beene riding what a mad Gâ—est he was to take the Gallowes for his Inne or as I suppose for his end The rumor of this accident being bruited abroad the people came far and neere to see him all in general wondring how these things should come to passe At last to cleere all doubts proclamations were published with pardon and a reward to any that could discouer the truth whereupon the old Boore Soone came in and related the whole circumstance of the matter At another place the hangmans place beeing void there were two of the bloud for it is to be noted that the succession of that office doth liueally descend from the Father to the Soone or to the next of the bloud which were at strife for the possession of this high indignity Now it happened that 2. men were to be beheaded at the saine towne and at the same time and to auoid sute in law for this great prerogatiue it was concluded by the Arbitrators that each of these new hangman should execute one of the Prisoners and he that with greatest cunning and sleight could take the head from the body should haue the place to this they all agreed and the Prisoners were brought forth where one of the Executioners did bide a red silke thread double about his Prisoners necke the threads being distant one from another only the bredth of one thread and he promised to cut off the head with a backward blow with a Sword betweene the threads The other called his Prisoner aside and told him that if hee would be ruled by him he should haue his life saued and besides quoth he I shall be sure to haue the office The Prisoner was glad of the motion and said he would doe any thing vpon these conditions then said the Hangman when thou art on thy knees and hast said thy prayers and that Idoe lift vp my Axe for I will vse an Axe to strinke thee I will cry Heâ— at which word doe thou rise and run away thou knowest none will slay thee if thou canst once elcape after thou art deliuered into my custody it is the fashion of our Country and let me alone to shift to answer the matter This being said or whispered the headsman with the sword did cut off the Prisoners headâ— betweene the threads as hee had said which made all the people wonder at the steddinesse of his hand and most of them iudged that hee was the man that was and would be fittest to make a mad hangman of But as one tale is good till another be told and as there be three degrees of good better and best so this last hangman did much exceed and eclipse the others cunning For his prisoner being on his knees and he lifting vp his axe to giue the fatall blow Heâ—â— said he according to promise whereupon the fellow arose and ran away but when he had run some seuen or eight paces the hangman threw the Axe after him and strooke his head smoothly from his shoulders now for all this who shall haue the place is vnknowne for they are yet in Law for it and I doubt not but before the matter bee ended that the Lawyers will make them exercise their own trades vpon themselues to end the controuersie This tale doth fauour somewhat Hyperbolicall but I wish the Reader to beleeue no more of the matter then I saw and there is an end At another Towne there stood an old ouerworne despised paire of Gallowes but yet not so old but they will last many a faire yere with good vsage but the Townes men a little distance from them built another paire in a more stately Geometricall port and fashion whereupon they were demanded why they would be at the charge to erect a new Gallowes hauing so sufficient an old one they answered that those old Gallowes should serue to hang fugitiues and strangers but those new ones were built for them and their heires for euer Thus much for hangmen the eues and Gallowses Yet one thing more for theeues In Hamburgh those that are not hanged for theft are chained 2. or 3. together and they must in that sort sixe or seuen yeares draw a dung-cart and clense the streets of the towne euery one of those theeues for as many yeares as hee is condemned to that slauery so many Bels he hath hanged at an iron aboue one of his shoulders and euery yeare a Bell is taken off till all are gone and then he is a Freeman againe and I did see ten or twelue of these Carts and some of the Theeues had 7. Bels some 5. some 6. some one but such a noyse they make as if all the Diuels in Hell were dancing the morrice Hamburgh is
Boores who weare white Linnen breeches as close as lrish iouzeâ— but so long that they are turned vp at the shooe in a role like a Maides sleeues at the hand but what these fellowes want in the bignesse of their Hose they haue in Dublets for their sleeues are as big as Breeches and the bodies great enough to hold a Kinderkin of beere and a barrell of Butter The Country is very full of Woods and especially Oakes which they very seldome cut down because of the Mast for their Swine which liue there in great abundance If any man bee slaine or murthered in the way they vse to set vp a wooden Crosse in the place for a memoriall of the bloudie fact committed there and there were many of those woodden Crosses in the way as I trauailed They seldome haue any Robbery committed amongst them but there is a murther with it for their vnmannerly manner is to knocke out a mans braines first or else to lurke behind a Tree and shoot a man with a peece or a Pistol and so make sure worke with the passenger and then search his pockets It is as dangerous to steale or killan Hare in some places there as it is to rob a Church or kill a man in England and yet a two penny matter will discharge the offender for the best and the worst is but an Halter and I was enformed that an English Marchant not knowing the danger as he was riding on the way hauing a peece charged in his hand as it is an ordinary weapon to trauaile with there by chance he espyed an hare and shot at her and killed her but hee was apprehended for it and it was like to haue ecst him his life but before he got out of the trouble he was faine to vse his best friends and meanes and pleading ignorance for his innocency at last with the losse of a great deale of liberty and five hundred pound in money he was discharged The reason of this strict course is because all the Hares in the Country doe belong to one Lord or other and being in aboundance they are killed by the owners appointment and carried to the markets by Cart-loads and sold fot the vse of the honourable owners And no Boore or Tenant that dwels in those parts where those Hares are plenty must Keepe a Dogge except hee pay fiue shillings a yeere to the Lord or else one of his fore feet must be cut off that hee may not hunt Hares A Man is in almost as high proportion to be a â—naue in England as a Knight in Germany for there a Gentleman is called a Youngcur and a Knight is but a Youngcurts man so that you shall have a scuruy Squire command a Knight to hold his stirrop plucke off his boots or any other vnknightly peece of seruice and verily I thinke there are an 100. seuerall Princes Earles Byshops and other Estates that doe euery one keepe a mint and in their owne names stampe Money Gold Siluer and Brasse and amongst 23. two pences which I had of their brasse money which they call Grushes I had 13. seuerall coynes Many more such worthic inâ—unctions and honourable ordinances I obserued which are hardly worth pen and inke the describing and therefore I omit them and draw toward an end for on the Wednesday morning I was at an anchor at Stoad and on the Friday night following I was by Gods gracious assistance Landed at London So that in three weekes and three dayes I sayled from England to Hamburgh and backe againe staying in the Countrey 17 dayes and trauailed 200. miles by Land there gathering like a busie Bee all these honied obseruations some by sight some by hearing some by both some by neither and some by bare supposition FINIS TAYLORS TRAVELS TO PRAGVE IN BOHEMIA Reader take this in your way A Pamphlet Reader from the Presse is hurld That hath not many fellowes in the world The manner 's common though the matter 's shallow And 't is all true which makes it want a fellow ANd because I would not haue you either guld of your mony or deceiued in expectatioÌ„ I pray you take notice of my plaine dealing for I haue not giuen my book a swelling bumbasted title or a promising inside of newes therfore if you look for any such matter from hence take this warning hold fast your mony and lay the booke downe yet if you do buy it I dare presume you shall find somwhat in it worth part of your mony the â—roth is that I did chiefly write it because I am of much acquaintance and cannot passe the streets but I am continually stayed by one or other to know what newes so that sometimes I am foure houres before I can goe the length of two paire of Buts where such non-sence or sencelesse questions are propounded to me that cals many seeming wise mens wisedomes in question drawing aside the curtaines of their vnderstanding and laying their ignorance wide open First Iohn Easie takes me and holds me fast by the fift halfe an houre and will needs torture some newes out of me from Spinola whom I was neuer neere by 500 miles for he is in the Phllatinate Country and I was in Bohemia I am no sooner eased of him but Gregory Gandergoose an Alderman of Gotham catches me by the goll demanding if Bohemia be a great Towne and whether there bee any meate in it and whether the last fleet of ships be arriued there his mouth being stop'd a third examines me boldly what newes from Vienna where the Emperours Army is what the Duke of Bauaria doth what is become of Count Buquoy how sares all the Englishmen Where lyes the King of Bohemiaes forces what Bethlem Gabor doth what tydings of Dampeier and such a tempest of inquisition that it almost shakes my patience in peeces To ease my selfe of all which I was inforced to set pen to paper and let this poore Pamphlet my harald or nuntius trauaile and talke whilst I take my ease with silence Thus much I dare affirme that whosoever he or they bee that doe scatter any scandalous speeches against the plenty in Bohemia of all manner of needfull things for the sustenance of man and beasts of the which there is more abundance then euer I saw in any place else or whatsoeuer they be that report any ill successe on the Kings party this little booke and I the Author doth proclaime and proue them false Lyers and they are to be suspected for coyning such falshoods as no well willers to the Bohemian prosperity One thing I must intreat the Readers patience in reading one hundred lines wherein I haue kept a filthy stirre about a beastly fellow who was at my going from England a peece of a Graues end Constable at which time he did me such wrong as might haue drawne my life in question for he falsly said that I would haue fired their Towne I did promise him a ierke or two of my pen
goe where they would And prayed them from his throat to loose their held Some of the to townesmen did intreat them there That they their barbarous basenesse would forbeare But all intreaty was like oyle to fire Not quench'd but more inflam'd the scuruy Squire Then they fresh began to bale and teare Like mungreâ—â— Mastiffes on a little Beare Leauing kind Thompson neither foote or fist Nor any limb or member to resist Who being thus apprest with eds and might Most valiant with his teeth began to bite Some by the fingers others by the thumbs He fang'd within the cercust of his gummes Great pitty's was his chaps did neuer close On the halfe Constables cheekes eares or nose His seruice had deseru'd reward to haue If he had mark'd the peasant for a Knaue Yet all that labour had away beene throwne Through towne and Country he 's already knowne His prisoner he did beat and spurn'd and kick'd He search'd his pockets I le not say he pick'd And finding as he said no many there To heare how then the Bellweather did sweare And almost tearing Thompson into quarters Bound both his hands behind him with his garters And after in their rude robustians rags Tide both his feet and cast him in the Cage There all night be remained in louzis litter Which for the Constable had beene much fitter Or for some vagaband that 's sprung from Caine. Some Rogue orrunnagate should there haue laine And not a Gentleman that 's well descended That did no hurt nor any harme intended But for a bonfire in sit time and place Tobee abus'd and vs'd thus beastly base There did I leaue him tell the merrow day And how be scap'd their hands I cannot say This piece of Officer this nasty parch Whose vnderstanding sleepes out many a Watch â—like a a towne bull roaring up and downe Saying that we had meant to fire the towne And thus she Diuell his Master did deuise To baulster out his late abuse with lyes So all the street downe as I past along The people all about me in a throng Calling me villaine traitor rogue and thiefe Saying that I to fire their towne was chiefe There â—â— wrongs as patient as I might Vowing my pen should ease me when I write Like to a grumbling cur that sleepes on hay Eates none himselfe driues other beasts away So this same fellow would not once expresse Vnto his Prince a subiects ioyfulnesse But cause we did attempt at as you see Himrsson'd Thompson and thus slandered me Thus hauing cas'd my much inceused muse I craue the reader this one fault excuse For hauing vrg'd his patience all this some With such a scarâ—y Subiect and warse rims And thou Graues-endian officer take this And the â—â—â— thy selfe for all that written is 'T is not against the towns this tale I tell For sure there doth some honest people dwell But against thee thou Fiend is shape of man By whom this beastly outrage first began Which I could doe no lesse but let thee know And pay thee truely wâ—at I long did owe And now all 's euen betwixt thou and I Then farewell and be hang'd that 's twice God bwye The first letters of his names are R L and his full name being â—â—agramatiz'd is a A Trobeler a trobeler he was to mee and so I feare he hath beene to my Reader Sunday the 26. August of wee set sayle from Graus end and with various win les same large and some scarce we happily past the Seas and layled vp the Riuer of Maze by the Brill and on the Wednesday following I arriued at Roterdam in Holland at which time the worthy Regiment of the right honourable Colonell Sir Horace veere and the two noble Earles O Essex and Oxford departed from thence in Marâ—â—ll Equipage toward the Pallatinate Country whose Heroick and Mignanimous endeauours I beseech the Lord of Hosts and God of battels to direct and blesse The same day I went to the Hage and from thence to Leiden where I lodged all night and the morrow being Thursday the 30. of August I sayled from Leyden to Amsterdam where I saw many things worthy the noting but because they are so neere and frequent to many of our Nation I omit to relate them to auoid tediousnes but on the Friday at night I got passage from thence toward Hambrogh in a small hoy in the which we were weather-beaten at Sea three dayes and nights before we arriued there Saturday the eighth of September I left Hambrogh and being carried day and night in Waggons on the Monday night following I came to an ancient towne called Heldeshim it standeth in Brunswicke Land and yet it belongeth to the Byshop oâ— Collin where I did obserue in their Doome Kirke or Cathedral Church a Crowne of siluer 80 foote in Compasse hanged vp in the body of the Church in the circuit of which crowne were placed 160. waxe Candles the which at Festiuall dayes or at the celebration of some high Ceremonies are lighted to lighten their darkenesse or their ignorance chuse yee whether Moreouer there I saw a siluer Bell in their Steeple of thirty pound weight and the Leades of their steeple shining and sparkeling with the Sunne beames they did affirme to mee to bee gold the truth of which I am doubtfull of In this towne I stayed foure dayes and on Friday the 14. of September I went sixe Dutch miles to the strong towne of Brunswicke where by reason of my short stay which was but two houres I obserued nothing worthy of memory but their triple Wals and double Ditches there artillery and fortifications which they thinke to be impregnable besides there I saw an old house of the Duke of Brunswicke with the statue of a golden Lyon of a great bignesse standing aloft vpon a Piller with the broken Wals and houses which the Dukes Canon hath left there sixe yeares since as tokens and badges of his fury and their rebellion From thence on the morrow I went one Dutch mile further to an ancient towne called Wolfunbottle where the Duke of Brunswicke keepes his Court in the which I and my fellow could get no further admittance then ouer a bridge into his outtermost or base Court for his Souldiers seeing vs with Swords and Pistols were fearefull belike that wee would haue taken the fortresse from them and therefore though we were but two Englishmen yet they durst not let vs enter which made me call to remembrance the frequent and dayly Egresse and Regresse that all people haue to his Maiesties Court of Great Britaine where none that are of any good fashion and aspect are debat'd entrance when those inferiour Princeshouses are guarded with hungry Halberdiers and reuurend rusty bil-men with a brace or two of hot-shots so that their Pallaces are more like Prisons then the free and Noble Courts of Commanding Potentates After two dayes entertainment at Wolfunbotle with an English Marchant residing there of good fame and credit named
into their Countrey So that he earnestly disswaded me from the iourney if I loued my life and welfare at last he concluded his discourse with me by a summe of mony that he threw downe from a window thorow which he looked out into a sheete tied vp by the foure corners and hanging very neere the ground a hundred pieces of siluer each worth two shillings sterling which counteruailed ten pounds of our English mony this businesse I carried so secretly by the helpe of my Persian that neither our English Ambassadour nor any other of my Countrymen sauing one special priuate and intrinsicall friend had the least inkling of it till I had throughly accomplished my designe for I well knew that our Ambassadour would haue stopped and Barracadoed all my proceeding therein if he might haue had any notice thereof as indeed he signified vnto mee after I had effected my proiect alleaging this forsooth for his reason why he would haue hindred me because it would redound somewhat to the dishonour of our Nation that one of our Countrey should present himselfe in that beggerly and poore fashion to the King out of an insinuating humour to craue money of him But I answered our Ambassadour in that stout and resolute manner after I had ended my businesse that hee was contented to cease nibbling at me neuer had I more need of money in all my life then at that time for in truth I had but twenty shillings sterling left in my purse by reason of a mischance I had in one of the Turkes Cities called Emert in the country of Mesopotamia where a miscreant Turke stripped me of almost all my monyes according as I wrote vnto you in a very large letter the last yeere which I sent from the Court of this mighty Monarch by one of my Countrymen that went home by Sea in an English shippe laden with the commodities of this India which letter I hope came to your hands long since After I had beene with the King I went to a certain Noble and generous Christian of the Armenian race two dayes iourney from the Mogols court to the end to obserue certaine remarkeable matters in the same place to whom by meanes of my Persian tongue I was so welcome that hee entertained me with very ciuill courteous complement and at my departure gaue mee very bountifully twenty pieces of such kind of mony as the King had done before counteruayling forty shillings sterling About ten dayes after that I departed from Azmere the court of the Mogoll Prince to the end to begin my Pilgrimage after my long rest of fourteene moneths backe againe into Persia at what time our Ambassadour gaue mee a piece of Gold of this Kings Coyne worth foure and twenty shillings which I will saue if it bee possible till my ariuall in England so that I haue receiued for beneuolences since I came into this countrey twenty markes sterling sauing two shillings eight pence and by the way vpon the confines of Persia a little before I came into this country three and thirty shillings foure pence in Persian money of my Lady Sherly aâ— this present I haue in the City of Agra where-hence I wrote this letter about twelue pounds sterling which according to my manner of liuing vpon the way at two pence sterling a day for with that proportion I can liue pretty well such is the cheapnesse of all eateable things in Asia drinkable things costing nothing for seldome doe I drinke in my pilgrimage any other liquor then pure water will maintaine me very competently three yeeres in my trauell with meat drinke and clothes Of these gratuities which haue beene giuen me willingly would I send you some part as a demonstration of the filiall loue and affection which euery child bred in ciuility and humility ought to performe to his louing and good mother but the distance of space betwixt this place and England the hazard of mens liues in so long a iourney and also the infidelity of many men who though they liue to come home are vnwilling to render an account of the things they haue receiued doe not a little discourage mee to send any precious token vnto you but if I liue to come one day to Constantinople againe for thither I doe resolue to goe once more by the grace of Christ and therehence to take my passage by land into Christendome ouer renouned Greece I will make choice of some substantiall and faithfull Countriman by whom I will send some prety token as an expression of my dutifull and obedient respect vnto you I haue not had the oportunity to see the King of Persia as yet since I came into this country but I haue resolued to goe to him when I come next into his Territories and to search him out wheresoeuer I can find him in his Kingdome for seeing I can discourse with him in his Persian tongue I doubt not but that going vnto him in the forme of a Pilgrime hee will not onely entertaine me with good words but also bestow some worthy reward vpon me beseeming his dignity and person for which cause I am prouided before-hand with an excellent thing written in the Persian-tongue that I meane to present vnto him and thus I hope to get beneuolences of worthy persons to maintaine me in a competent manner in my whole pilgrimage till come into England which I hold to be as laudable and a more secure course then if I did continuall carry store of mony about mee In the letter which I wrote vnto you by an English ship the last yeere I made relation vnto you both of my iourney from the once holy Hierusalem hither and of the state of this Kings Court and the Customes of this Country therefore I hold it superfluous to repeat the same things againe but what the Countryes are that I meane to see betwixt this and Christendome and how long time I will spend in each country I am vnwilling to aduertise you of at this present desiring rather to signifie that vnto you after I haue performed my designe then before howbeit in few words I will tell you of certaine Cities of great renoune in former times but now partly ruined that I resolue by Gods helpe to see in Asia where I now am namely ancient Babylon and Nimrods Tower some few miles from Niniue and in the same the Sepulcher of the Prophet Ionas spacious and goodly Câ—â— in Egypt heretofore Memphis vpon the famous Riuer Nilus where Moses Aaron and the children of Israel liued with K. Pharaoh whose ruined Palace is shewed there till this day and a world of other moueable things as memorable as any City of the whole world yeeldeth sauing onely Ierusalem but in none of these or any other Cities of note doe I determine to linger as I haue done in other places as in Constantinople and Azmere in this Easterne India onely some few daies will I tarry in a principall citie of fame to obserue euery