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A36984
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The intrigues at Versailles, or, A jilt in all humours a comedy : acted by His Majesty's servants at the theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields / written by Mr. D'Urfey.
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D'Urfey, Thomas, 1653-1723.
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1697
(1697)
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Wing D2736; ESTC R14798
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64,269
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106
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Judgment of Prowess Will you go Sir Ram. Pimping vat dam word be dat for de Man of Honour Begarr it turna my Stomach and spoila mine Breakfast he bien Monsieur I goe de Pimpa Morbleau I go Sir I goe Oh here come de Count himself Enter Tonnerre drest in Womens Cloathes Tonn Dear Fiesque Good Morrow to thee Gad I have so long'd to see thee that I had hardly patience to give 'em time to Dress me in my Female Trinketts here thy Pleasant Conversation and some few Ravishing Thoughts on the Dear Angel I Adore are the onely Consolation I have in my Confinement hark I tell thee News Wilt thou believe it I have been Serenaded to Night Ha ha ha De Fies Serenaded Is that all Gad for my part I wonder thou remainst on Earth here in a Condition of Mortality such Coelestial Beauty methinks some Amorous God should be ready to seize every moment some Jove should come dazling in Golden Showers or as a Bull mount thee like Fair Europa then swiftly bear thee through the Helespont to some Sweet Bower of Love What Gut-scraping Coxcomb has now been Insipidly Sacrifising What Guittar-Thrasher Thrum thrum thrum What Madrigal Chanter with a Love-trilling A h me that makes me Sweat to hear him Or what Pittiful Pipero with a Toodle Toodle Toodle has been profaning the Eares of so Admirable a Beauty Tonn Why this Admirable Beauty Sir since you are pleas'd to divert your Self so with it has to its Eternal Fame gain'd an entire Victory upon the old Count Brissac whose Charming Wife thou know'st I have been so long in Love with De Fies Ay Count and not without Satisfactory Returns on her Side too Your Secret has been blown upon I can tell ye The Court has heard Publick Information perticularly of your Late Journey to see her in the Country disguis'd like a Pilgrim What a Strong Fit of Devotion she had every day to be Closetted up at Prayers with the Holy Pilgrim How often she would Puke and be Sick that the Pilgrim might be sent for And what strange Benefits she made her Credulous Husband believe she found in her Boddily Health through the Force of the Pilgrims Sanctified Beads and Sprinklings Ha ha ha Tonn The truth is never was Intreague better manag'd for some time for Nature certainly did never produce a better Stock to Graft Cuckoldom upon theâ— Old Brissac for he has so great a Fondness for himself and is always so blindly partial to his own Abilities that his heart is still at Ease about his Wife nor would he ever have suspected us had not Cavoys that prying Coxcomb her Brother discovering done us the Mischief upon which follow'd the Duel in which he was Wounded and I made shift to get hither in this Disguise De Fies But how came Brissac to follow that part of the Story is still a Mystery Tonn Why as the Devil would have it he happening to be be acquainted with the Lady that helpt to Disguise me came hither and found me Just Drest as you see But to hear how many Oathes he Swore he was smitten with me to see the Old Beau Cock at me and Smicker with his Grizl'd Chops and frisk up and down like an Old Ape would have put one into a Fit of a Convulsion with Extremity of Laughter De Fies And in persuance of this Intreague he has follow'd ye hither to Versailes Tonn Yes Faith and is as Hot and Eager upon the Scent as the youngest Hound in a Pack And since I am sure he knows me not it may chance to give occasion for some Scenes of Pleasant Diversion for to Crown my Joy the Dutchess Sanserre her Sister told me last Night that taking this Advantage of her Husbands absence she resolv'd upon a Frolick also hither in Disguise De Fies Very good why faith now taking all things into nice Consideration here is laid between the Sisters as pretty a well-modell'd compact Design for Cuckold-making as heart can wish for I have long had my self an old Love-Grudge to the Dutchess tho' my Pretty New Mistress Vandosme has lately allay'd it besides I know the young English Guillamour is now Lord of the Ascendant there which makes the Hot-Spirited Jealous Duke ferment perpetually Tonn Prithee what is that Guillamour De Fies Why faith a Man of Worth enough brave witty and handsome he came hither just before the War broke out in his return from Travel he 's one that has all along profess'd an unbyass'd Candour for his Country and their present King for which he was some time Imprison'd in the Bâ—stile till by the Power and Interest of the Duke de Crequi his intimate Friend he was set at Liberty and now only stays till some private Affairs are dispatch'd and then returns to England Enter Rambure Ram. Monsieur you may remember just now you call me de Pimp me come now to tell you dat dere is below de Old Madamoselle dat use to bring de young Prett Womans de Masquerele de She-Pimpa begar would speak with you De Fies Irreverend Rogue D' e know who you speak of Shee 's an Emisary from the God of Love ye Dog therefore I charge ye goe and Introduce her with Ceremony Ram. Me voud kick her vid Ceremony begar vid all mine heart Exit Enter Grossiere â—hispers Fiesque De Fies I 'll dispatch away the Company you see here imediately And prithee tell her I long for her Company take this thy self too in part of my Acknowledgments gives her Money Gross What no Present then for her indeed Is it so Indifferent with ye you shall have but an indifferent Entertainment then I can assure ye that my frugal Gentleman â—side and Exit Tonn I need not ask thee whither it be a Love Message but prithee is it from that dear pretty Cherubin that I us'd to see with thee that thou told'st me of just now was a Bastard of the Familly of Vandosme De Fies Why then Sir to satisfy your Curiosity 't is from the very same shee 's coming to visit me Tonn Gad thou' rt a happy fellow for of all Creatures I ever saw except my dear Countess she is the most Charming And is she thy own too dear Rogue hah And art thou sure of her De Fies Sure of her no Gad no more then I should be of my shaddow if I thought to catch it for even in the Crittical moment when I am in Bed with her and one would think then a Man were sure of a Woman if one word or accident cross her Presto she 's gone like a Juglers Ball in a moment and then if you think to stop her like a hunted Cat she takes but one Spring and is imediately from the Top of the Stairs to the Bottom Tonn This is Miraculous Sure thou art not a good Bedfellow and do'st not use a Woman well What can be the reason of this De Fies Dam'd humour nothing but dam'd humour by Heaven