well as their Authors the name of the best of whom call'd â—ristides hardly survives his Writings He liv'd doubtless before Marius and Syllas's Wars for Sisenna a Roman Historian had Latiniz'd his Fables which were very obscene yet long the delight of the Romans Photius in his Bibliotheque has given an extract of a fabulous Story composed by Antonius Diogenes whom he thinks to have liv'd sometime after Alexander It treats in Prose of the Loves of Dinias and Dercyllis in imitation of Homer's Odysseis and relates many incredible Adventures its Author also makes mention of one Antiphanes who before had written in that Nature and who perhaps may be a Comic Poet whom the Geographer Stephanus says to have writ some such Relations These are thought to have been the modells of what Lucius Lucian Iamblichus Achilles Tatius and Damascius have written in that kind not to speak of Heliodorus Bishop of Tricca who under Arcadius and Honorius wrote the Adventures of Theagenes and Chariclea some passages of which have been copied by Guarini and the Author of Astrea Our Britains about that time have not been behind hand with other Nations in writing such Books Theleisin whom Some place among the Bards because he made some Propheciâ—s in Verse liv'd about the middle of the sixth Century and as well as Melkin wrote fabulous Histories in Welsh of Britain King Arthur Merlin and the Knights of the round Table Those of Ieoffrey of Monmouth have not much more the appearance of Truth and as much may be said of what Gildas a Welsh Monk writ of King Arthur Perceval and Lancelot The French sometime after had also their famous Romance of the Heroic Deeds of Charles the Great and his Paladins said to be the Work of Turpin Archbishop of Rheims but it was written above two Hundred Years after him and was followed by many more as false which yet pleased the people of those times more simple and ignorant yet than those who wrote them Then none endeavouring to get good Memoirs to write true History and Men finding matter more easily in their Fancy Historians degenerated into Romancers and the Latin Tongue fell into as much contempt as Truth had done before Then the Troubadours Comics and Contours of Provence who were the writers that practis'd what is still call'd in the Southern parts of France Le guay Saber or the Gay Science spread all over that Kingdom their Stories and new sort of Poetry of all kinds composed in the Roman Language which was a mixtuâ—e of the Gallic Tentonick and Latin Tongues in which the 〈◊〉 was superior so that to distinguish it from that usually spoken through the other parts of the Gauls it kept the name of Roman The Germans as Tacitus relates us'd to sing the Heroic Deeds of Hercules when they went to fight The ancient Inhabitants of Denmark Sweeden and Norway had fabulous Stories which they engrav'd in old Runic Characters upon large Stones of which some are still to be seen The most usual diversion at their Feasts was to sing in rhiming Verse the brave Deeds of their ancient Giants These Stories us'd to draw Tears from the Eyes of the Company and after that being well warm'd with good Cheer to their Tears succeeded Crys and Howlings till all at last fell in confusion under the Table The Kings and Princes of Denmark Norway and the neighbouring Countries had always their Scaldri thus were call'd their Poets who us'd extempore to make Verses in Rhime embellish'd with Fictions and Allegories upon all Memorable Events and those were immediately learn'd and sung by the People Even some of the Kings and Queens of those Countries were Scaldri As Olaus Wormius tells us The Indians Iapanese and Chinese have an infinite Number of Poets and Fables and the latter esteem almost Rustic any other way than that of Apologues in their Conversation Even the Turks to fit themselves for Love or War have not only the Persian Romances but Fables of their own devising and will tell you that Roland was a Turk whose Sword they still preserve at Bursa with Veneration relating the particulars of his Life and the great things he did in the Levant The Americans are great Lovers of Fables and near Canada the most wild among them after their Feasts generally desire the oldest or the greatest Wit of the Company to invent and relate to them some strange Story Beavers Foxes Racoons and other Animals generally come in for a share in the Fiction and the hearers are very attentive to their Adventures the Relation of which they never interrupt but by their Applause and thus Days and Nights are past with equal satisfaction to the Speaker and the Hearers The People of Florida Cumana and Perou excite themselves to work and to martial exploits by Songs and fabulous Narrations of the great Atchievements of their Predecessors Whatever they relate of their Origin is full of Fictions but in this those of Perou far out-lye the rest and have their Poets to whom they give a Name that answers to that of Inventors Also those of Madagascar have Men who stroul from House to House to recite their Composures and those of Guinea have their tellers of Fables like those of the Northern Parts of America Thus as observes Huetius from whom I have borrowed part of these Historical Observations on Fables no Nation can well attribute to it self the Original of them Since all equally have been addicted to invent some in the most ancient Times there is only this Difference that what was the Fruit of the Ignorance of some Nations even in Europe has been that of the Politeness of the Persians the Ionians and the Greeks When Rabelais lived all the foolish Romances that had been made in the barbarous Ages that preceded his were very much read therefore as he had a design to give a very great latitude to his Satyr he thought he could not do better than to give it the form of those lying Stories the better to secure himself from Danger and at once show their Absurdities also to cause his Book to be the more read having perceived that nothing pleased the People better than such Writings the Wise and Learned being delighted by the Morality under the Allegories and the rest by their odness This was a good Design and it proved as Effectual to make those who had any sence throw away those gross Fables stuffed with wretched Tales of Giants Magicians and Adventurous Knights as Miguel de Cervantes's Don Quixot proved in his Country to root out Knight-Errantry Thuâ— Lucian before him in his Story of the Ass enlarged afterwards by the Philosopher Apuleius had ridicul'd Lucius of Patras and to make it the more obvious called that Fable by the name of that Mythologist who had writ a Book of strange Metamorphoses which he foolishly believed to be true Rabelais seems also to have imitated Lucian's true History called so by its Author by Antiphrasis though some have thought that
short in France A Little while after Pantagruel heard News that his Father Gargantua had been translated into the Land of the Fairies by Morgue as heretofore were Oger and Arthur and that the Report of his Translation being spread abroad the Dipsodes had issued out beyond their Borders with Inrodes had wasted a great part of Vtopia and at that very time had besieged the great City of the Amaurots Whereupon departing from Paris without bidding any Man farewel for the Business required Diligence he came to Rowen Now Pantagruel in his Journey seeing that the Leagues of that little Territory about Paris called France were very short in regard of those of other Countries demanded the cause and reason of it from Panurge who told him a Story which Marotus du Lac Monachus set down in the Acts of the Kings of Canarre saying that in old times Countries were not distinguished into Leagues Miles Furlongs nor Parasanges until that King Pharamond divided them which was done in manner as followeth The said King chose at Paris a hundred fair gallant lusty brisk young Men all resolute and bold Adventurers in Cupid's Duels together with a hundred comely pretty handsome lovely and well complexioned Wenches of Picardy all which he caused to be well entertained and highly fed for the space of eight days then having called for them he delivered to every one of the young Men his Wench with store of Money to defray their Charges and this Injunction besides to go unto divers Places here and there And wheresoever they should biâ—cot and thrum their Wenches that they setting a Stone there it should be accounted for a League Thus went away those brave Fellows and sprightly Blades most merrily and because they were fresh and had been at rest they were jumming and tumbling almost at every Field's end and this is the Cause why the Leagues about Paris are so short But when they had gone a great way and were now as weary as poor Devils all the Oil in their Lamps being almost spent they did not chink and dufle so often but contented themselves I mean for the Mens part with one scurvy paultry Bout in a day And this is that which makes the Leagues in Britany Delanes Germany and other more remote Countries so long Other Men give other Reasons for it but this seems to me of all other the best To which Pantagruel willingly adhered Parting from Rowen they arrived at Honfleur and there took shipping Pantagruel Panurge Epistemon Eusthenes and Carpalim In which Place waiting for a favourable Wind and caulking their Ship he received from a Lady of Paris that had formerly been kept by him a long time a Letter directed on the out-side thus To the best Beloved of the Fayr And the least Loyal of the Brave PNTGRL CHAP. XXIV A Letter which a Messenger brought to Pantagruel from a Lady of Paris together with the Exposition of a Posy written in a Gold-Ring WHen Pantagruel had read the Superscription he was much amazed and therefore demanded of the said Messenger the Name of her that had sent it Then opened he the Letter and found nothing written in it nor otherways inclosed but only a Gold Ring with a square Table-Diamond Wondering at this he called Panurge to him and shewed him the case whereupon Panurge told him that the Leaf of Paper was written upon but with such Cunning and Artifice that no Man could see the Writing at the first sight therefore to find it out he set it by the Fire to see if it was made with Sal Almoniack soaked in Water then put he it into the Water to see if the Letter was written with the Juice of Tithymalle After that he held it up against the Candle to see if it was written with the Juice of white Onions Then he rubbed one part of it with Oil of Nuts to see if it were not written with the Lee of a Fig-tree and another part of it with the Milk of a Woman giving Suck to her eldest Daughter to see if it was written with the Blood of red Toads or green Earth-frogs Afterwards he rubbed one Corner with the Ashes of a Swallow's Nest to see if it were not written with the Dew that is found within the Herb Alcakengy called the Winter-cherry He rubbed after that one end with Ear-wax to see if it were not written with the Gall of a Raven Then did he dip it into Vineger to try if it was not written with the Juice of the Garden Spurge After that he greased it with the Fat of a Bat or Flittermouse to see if it was not written with the Sperm of a Whale which some call Ambergris Then put it very fairly into a Basin full of fresh Water and forthwith took it out to see whether it were written with Stone-allum But after all Experiments when he perceived that he could find out nothing he called the Messenger and asked him Good Fellow the Lady that sent thee hither did she not give thee a Staff to bring with thee thinking that it had been according to the Conceit whereof Aulus Gellius maketh mention and the Messenger answered him No Sir Then Panurge would have caused his Head to be shaven to see whether the Lady had written upon his bald Pate with the hard Lee whereof Sope is made that which she meant but perceiving that his Hair was very long he forbore considering that it could not have grown to so great a length in so short a time Then he said to Pantagruel Master by the Virtue of G I cannot tell what to do nor say in it For to know whether there be any thing written upon this or no I have made use of a good part of that which Master Francisco di Nianto the Tuscan sets down who hath written the Manner of reading Letters that do not appear That which Zoroastes published Peri grammaton acriton And Calphurnius Bassus de literis illigibilibus But I can see nothing nor do I believe that there is any thing else in it than the Ring Let us therefore look upon it which when they had done they found this in Hebrew written within Lamach sabathani whereupon they called Epistemon and asked him what that meant to which he answered that they were Hebrew Words signifying Wherefore hast thou forsaken me Upon that Panurge suddenly replied I know the Mystery do you see this Diamond it is a false one This then is the Exposition of that which the Lady means Diamant faux that is false Lover why hast thou forsaken me Which Interpretation Pantagruel presently understood and withal remembering that at his Departure he had not bid the Lady farewel he was very sorry and would fain have returned to Paris to make his Peace with her But Epistemon put him in mind of Aeneas's Departure from Dido and the Saying of Heraclitus of Tarentum That the Ship being at anchor when need requireth we must cut the Cable rather than lose time about untying of it
Linguist but also deservedly famous for his ingenious and learned Composures was lately pleased to revise it as well as the two first which had been publish'd about thirty years ago and are extreamly scarce He thought it necessary to make considerable Alterations that the Translation might have the smartness genuin Sence and the very Style and Air of the Original but yet to preserve the latter he has not thought fit to alter the Style of the Translation which suits as exactly with that of the Author as possible neither affecting the politeness of the most nice and refin'd of our Modern English Writers nor yet the roughness of our antiquated Authors but such a Medium as might neither shock the Ears of the fiâ—st nor displease those who would have an exact imitation of the style of Rabelais Since the first Edition of those two Books of Rabelais was so favourably entertain'd without the third without any account of the Author or any Observations to discover that mysterious History 'T is hop'd that they will not meet with a worse usage now they appear again so much improv'd with the addition of a third never printed before in English and a large account of the Author's Life but principally since we have here an Explication of the Enigmatic Sence of part of that admirable Mythologist's Works both which have been so long wanted though never till now publish'd in any Language THE ingenious of our Age as well as those who liv'd when Rabelais compos'd his Gargantua and Pantagruel have been extreamly desirous of discovering the Truths which are hid under the dark veil of Allegories in that incomparable work The great Thuanus found it worthy of being mention'd in his excellent History as a most ingenious Satyr on Persons who were the most distinguish'd in the Kingdom of France by their Quality and Employments and without doubt he who was the best of all our Modern Historians and liv'd soon after it was writ had trac'd the private Design of Rabelais and found out the true Names of the Persons whom he has introduc'd on his Scene with Names not only imaginary but generally ridiculous and whose Actions he represents as ridiculous as those Names But as it would have been dangerous having unmask'd those Persons to have expos'd them to public view in a Kingdom where they were so powerful and as most of the Adventures which are mystically represented by Rabelais relate to the affairs of Religion so those few who have understood the true sence of that Satyr have not dar'd to reveal it In the late Editions some learned Men have given us a Vocabulary wherein they explain the Names and Terms in it which are originally Greek Latin Hebrew or of other Tongues that the Text might thus be made more intelligible and their work may be useful to those who do not understand those Tongues But they have not bad the same success in their pretended Explications of the Names which Rabelais has given to the real Actors in this Farce and thus they have indeed fram'd a Key but if I may use the Allegory 't was without having known the Wards and Springs of the Lock What I advance will doubtless be owned to be true by those who may have observed that by that Key none can discover in those Pythagorical Symbols as they are call'd in the Author's Prologue to the first Book any Event that has a Relation to the History of those to whom the Names mention'd by Rabelais have been applyed by those that made that pretended Key They tell us in it that King Grangousier is the same as King Lewis the 12th of France that Gargantua is Francis the first and that Henry the second is the true Name of Pantagruel but we discover none of Lewis the twelfth's Features in King Grangousier who does none of the Actions which History ascribes to that Prince so that the King of Siam or the Cham of Tartary might as reasonably be imagined to be Grangousier as Lewis the twelfth as much may be said of Gargantua and of Pantagruel who do none of the things that have been remark'd by Historians as done by the Kings Francis the first and Henry the second of France This Reason which of its self is very strong will much more appear to be such if we reflect on the Author's Words in the Prologue to the first Book In the perusal of this Treatise says he you shall find another kind of Taste and a Doctrine of a more profound and abstruse Consideration which will disclose to you the most glorious Doctrine and dreadful Mysteries as well in what concerneth your Religion as matters of the public State and Life Oeconomical Mysteries which as he tells us are the Juice and Substantial Marrow of his Work To this Reason I add another as strong and evident It is that we find in Grangousier Gargantua and Pantagruel Characters that visibly distinguish them from the three Kings of France which I have nam'd and from all the other Kings their Predecessors In the first Place Grangousier's Kingdom is not France but a State particularly distinct from it which Gargantua and Pantagruel call Vtopia Secondly Gargantua is not born in the Kingdom of France but in that of Vtopia Thirdly He leaves Paris call'd back by his Father that he might come to the Relief of his Country which was attack'd by Picrochole's Army And finally Francis the First is distinguished from Gargantua in the 39 th Chap. of the first Book when Fryar Ihon des Entoumeures says in the Presence of Gargantua and eating at his Table had I been in the time of Iesus Christ I would have kept him from being taken by the Iews in the Garden of Olivet and the Devil fail me if I should have fail'd to cut off the Hams of these Gentlemen Apostles who ran away so basely after they had well supp'd and left their good Master in the Lurch I hate that Man worse than Poyson that offers to run away when he should fight and lay stoutly about him Oh if I were but King of France for fourscore or an hundred Years by G I should whip like cut tail Dogs these Run aways of Pavia a Plague take them c. But if Francis the First is not Gargantua likewise Pantagruel is not Henry the Second and if it were needful I would easily shew That the Authors of that pretended Key have not only been mistaken in those Names but in all the others which they undertook to decypher and that they only spoke at random without the least Grounds or Authorities from History All things are right so far but the difficulty lyeth not there we ought to show who are the Princes that are hid under the Names of Grangousier Gargantua and Pantagruel if yet we may suppose them to be Princes But such a Discovery cannot be very easily made because most of their Actions are only described in Allegories and in so confus'd and enigmatic a Manner that we do not
evidence of Reason satisfie their Readers His Folly and want of Wit in that he thought that without any other demonstration or sufficient Argument the World would be pleased to make his blockish and ridiculous Impositions the rule of their Devices In effect according to the Proverb To shitten Tails Turd never fails he hath found it seems some simple Ninny in those rude times of old when high Bonnet were in fashion who gave some trust to his Writings according to which they shaped their Apophthegms and Mottos trapped and caparisoned their Mules and Sumpter-horses apparelled their Pages quarter'd their Breeches bordered their Gloves fring'd the Courtains and Vallens of their Beds painted their Ensigns composed Songs and which is worse placed many deceitful juglings and unworthy base tricks clandestinely amongst the chastest Matrons In the like darkness and mist of Ignorance are wrapped up these vain-glorious Courtiers and name-transposers who going about in their Impresa's to signifie Espoir hath portrayed a Sphere Birds Pens for Pins Ancholie for Melancholy A horned Moon or Cressant to shew the increasing of ones Fortune A Bench broken to signifie Bankrupt Non and a corslet for non dur habit otherwise non durabit it shall not last Vn lit san ciel for Vn licenciè which are Equivocals so absurd and witless so barbarous and clownish that a Fox's Tail should be pinned at his Back and a Fool 's Cap be given to every one that should henceforth offer after the restitution of Learning to make use of any such Fopperies in France By the same Reasons if Reasons I should call them and not Ravings rather might I cause paint a painer to signifie that I am in pain a Pot of Mustard that my Heart is much tardy one pissing upwards for a Bishop the bottom of a pair of Breeches for a Vessel full of Farthings a Codpiece as the English bears it for the Tail of a Cod-fish and a Dog's Turd for the dainty Turret wherein lies the Love of my Sweet-heart Far otherwise did heretofore the Sages of Aegypt when they wrote by Letters which they called Hieroglyphics which none understood who were not skilled in the Vertue Property and Nature of the Things represented by them Of which Orus Apollon hath in Greek composed two Books and Polyphilus in his Dream of Love set down more In France you have a taste of them in the Device or Impresa of my Lord Admiral which was carried before that time by Octavian Augustus But my little Skiff amongst these unpleasant Gulfs and Shoals will sail no further therefore must I return to the Port from whence I came yet do I hope one Day to write more at large of these things and to shew both by Philosophical Arguments and Authorities received and approved of by and from all Antiquity what and how many Colours there are in Nature and what may be signified by every one of them if God save the mould of my Cap which is my best Wine-pot as my Grandam said CHAP. X. Of that which is signified by the Colours White and Blew THe White therefore signifieth Joy Solace and Gladness and that not at random but upon just and very good Grounds Which you may perceive to be true if laying aside all prejudicate Affections you will but give ear to what presently I shall expound unto you Aristotle saith That supposing two things contrary in their kind as Good and Evil Vertue and Vice Heat and Cold White and Black Pleasure and Pain Joy and Grief And so of others if you couple them in such manner that the contrary of one kind may agree in reason with the contrary of the other it must follow by consequence that the other contrary must answer to the remanent opposite to that wherewith it is conferred as for examples Vertue and Vice are contrary in one kind so are Good and Evil if one of the contraries of the first kind be consonant to one of those of the second as Vertue and Goodness for it is clear that Vertue is good so shall the other two contraries which are Evil and Vice have the same connexion for Vice is evil This Logical Rule being understood take these two contraries Joy and Sadness then these other two White and Black for they are Physically contrary If so be then that Black do signifie Grief by good reason then should White import Joy Nor is this signification instituted by human Imposition but by the universal consent of the World received which Philosophers call Ius Gentium the Law of Nations or an uncontroulable right of force in all Countreys whatsoever for you know well enough that all People and all Languages and Nations except the ancient Syracusans and certain Argives who had cross and thwarting Souls when they mean outwardly to give evidence of their sorrow go in Black and all mourning is done with Black which general consent is not without some Argument and Reason in Nature the which every Man may by himself very suddenly comprehend without the Instruction of any and this we call the Law of Nature By vertue of the same natural Instinct we know that by White all the World hath understood Joy Gladness Mirth Pleasure and Delight In former times the Thracians and Grecians did mark their good propitious and fortunate days with white stones and their sad dismal and unfortunate ones with black is not the night mournful sad and melancholic it is black and dark by the privation of light doth not the light comfort all the World and it is more white than any thing else which to prove I could direct you to the book of Laurentius Valla against Bartolus but an Evangelical Testimony I hope will content you Mat. 7. it is said that at the transfiguration of our Lord Vestimenta ejus facta sunt alba sicut lux his apparel was made white like the light by which lightsom whiteness he gave his three Apostles to understand the Idea and figure of the eternal Joys for by the light are all Men comforted according to the Word of the old Woman who although she had never a tooth in her head was wont to say Bona lux and Tobit chap. 5. after he had lost his sight when Raphael saluted him answered What Ioy can I have that do not see the Light of Heaven In that colour did the Angels testifie the Joy of the whole World at the Resurrection of our Saviour Iohn 20. and at his Ascension Acts 1. with the like colour of Vesture did St. Iohn the Evangelist Apoc. 4.7 see the faithful Clothed in the Heavenly and Blessed Ierusalem Read the Ancient both Greek and Latin Histories and you shall find that the Town of Alba the first Patron of Rome was founded and so Named by Reason of a White Sow that was seen there You shall likewise find in those stories that when any Man after he had Vanquished his Enemies was by decree of the Senate to enter into Rome triumphantly he usually rode in
weighed Eight hundred thousand and fourteen Besants of Gold in great antic Vessels huge Pots large Basins big Tasses Cups Goblets Candlesticks comfit Boxes and other such Plate all of pure massy Gold besides the precious Stones enameling and workmanship which by all Mens estimation was more worth than the matter of the Gold Then unto every one of them out of his Coffers caused he to be given the summ of Twelve hundred thousand Crowns ready Money And further he gave to each of them for ever and in perpetuity unless he should happen to decease without Heirs such Castles and neighbouring Lands of his as were most commodious for them To Ponocrates he gave the Rock Clermond to Gymnast the Coudray to Eudemon Monpensier Rinan to Tolmere to Ithibolle Montsaurean to Acamas Cande Varenes to Chirovacte Gravot to Sebast Quinquenais to Alexander Legre to Sophrone and so of his other Places CHAP. LII How Gargantua caused to be built for the Monk the Abbey of Theleme THere was left only the Monk 〈◊〉 â—â—ovide for whom Gargantua 〈…〉 made Abbot of Seville but he refused 〈…〉 would have given him the Abbey of Bourgueil or of Sanct Florent which was better or both if it pleased him But the Monk gave him a very peremptory answer that he would never take upon him the Charge nor Government of Monks For how shall I be able said he to rule over others that have not full power and command of my self If you think I have done you or may hereafter do you any acceptable Service give me leave to found an Abbey after my own Mind and Fancy The motion pleased Gargantua very well who thereupon offered him all the Country of Theleme by the River of Loire till within two Leagues of the great Forest of Port huaut The Monk then requested Gargantua to institute his religious Order contrary to all others First then said Gargantua you must not build a Wall about your Convent for all other Abbies are strongly walled and mured about See said the Monk and without cause where there is Mur before and Mur behind there is store of Murmur Envy and mutual Conspiracy Moreover seeing there are certain Convents in the World whereof the Custom is if any Woman come I mean chaste and honest Women they immediately sweep the ground which they have trod upon Therefore was it ordained that if any Man or Woman entered into religious Orders should by chance come within this new Abbey all the Rooms should be throughly washed and cleansed through which they had passed And because in all other Monasteries and Nunneries all is compassed limited and regulated by Hours it was decreed that in this new Structure there should be neither Clock nor Dial but that according to the opportunities and incident occasions all their Hours should be disposed of For said Gargantua the greatest loss of time that I know is to count the Hours What good comes of it nor can there be any greater dotage in the World then for one to guide and direct his Courses by the sound of a Bell and not by his own Judgment and Discretion Item Because at that time they put no Women into Nunneries but such as were either purblind blinkards lame crooked ill-favour'd mis-shapen fools senceless spoiled or corrupt nor encloister'd any Men but those that were either sickly subject to defluxions ill-bred louts simple sots or peevish trouble-houses But to the purpose said the Monk A Woman that is neither fair nor good to what use serves she To make a Nun of said Gargantua Yea said the Monk and to make shirts and smocks Therefore was it ordained that into this Religious Order should be admitted no Women that were not fair well featur'd and of a sweet disposition Nor Men that were not comely personable and well condition'd Item Because in the Convents of Women Men come not but underhand privily and by stealth it was therefore enacted that in this House there shall be no Women in case there be not Men nor Men in case there be not Women Item Because both Men and Women that are received into religious Orders after the expiring of their noviciat or probation-year were constrained and forced perpetually to stay there all the days of their life it was therefore ordered that all whatever Men or Women admitted within this Abbey shoul have full leave to depart with peace and contentment whensoever it should seem good to them so to do Item For that the religious men and women did ordinarily make three Vows to wit those of Chastity Poverty and Obedience it was therefore constituted and appointed that in this Convent they might be honourably Married that they might be Rich and live at Liberty In regard of the legitimate time of the persons to be initiated and years under and above which they were not capable of reception the Women were to be admitted from ten till fifteen and the Men from twelve to eighteen CHAP. LIII How the Abbey of the Thelemites was Built and Endowed FOR the Fabric and Furniture of the Abbey Gargantua caused to be deliver'd out in ready Money Seven and twenty hundred thousand eight hundred and one and thirty of those golden Rams of Berrie which have a Sheep stamped on the one side and a flower'd Cross on the other And for every year until the whole work were compleated he allotted Threescore and nine thousand Crowns of the Sun and as many of the Seven Stars to be charged all upon the Receit of the Custom For the Foundation and Maintenance thereof for ever he settled a perpetual Fee-farm-rent of three and twenty hundred threescore and nine thousand five hundred and fourteen Rose-Nobles exempted from all homage fealty service or burden whatsoever and payable every year at the Gate of the Abbey and of this by Letters Paâ—tents passed a very good Grant The Architecture was in a figure Hexagonal and in such a Fashion that in every one of the six Corners there was built a great round Tower of Threescore foot in diameter and were all of a like form and bigness Upon the Northside ran along the River of Loire on the bank whereof was scituated the Tower called Arctick Going towards the East there was another called Calaer the next following Anatole the next Mesembrine the next Hesperia and the last Criere Every Tower was distant from other the space of Three hundred and twelve paces The whole Aedifice was every where six stories high reckoning the Cellars under Ground for one The second was arch'd after the fashion of a basket-handle The rest were seeled with pure Wainscot flourish'd with Flanders fret-work in the form of the foot of a Lamp and cover'd above with fine slates with an indorsement of Lead carrying the antic figures of little Puppets and Animals of all sorts notably well suited to one another and guilt together with the gutters which jetting without the Walls from betwixt the cross Bars in a diagonal figure painted with Gold and Azure reach'd
it more scorched and dried up with Heat in the days of Elijah than it was at that time for there was not a Tree to be seen that had either Leaf or Bloom upon it the Grass was without Verdure or Greenness the Rivers were drained the Fountains dried up the poor Fishes abandoned and forsaken by their proper Element wandring and crying upon the Ground most horribly the Birds did fall down from the Air for want of Moisture and Dew wherewith to refresh them the Wolves Foxes Harts Wild-Boars Fallow-Deer Hares Coneys Weesils Brocks Badgers and other such Beasts were found dead in the Fields with their Mouths open In respect of Men there was the Pity you should have seen them lay out their Tongues like Hares that have been run six Hours many did throw themselves into the Wells others entred within a Cow's Belly to be in the Shade those Homer calls Alibants all the Country was at a stand and nothing could be done it was a most lamentable case to have seen the Labour of Mortals in defending themselves from the Vehemency of this horrifick Drought for they had work enough to do to save the holy Water in the Churches from being wasted but there was such order taken by the Counsel of my Lords the Cardinals and of our Holy Father that none did dare to take above one lick yet when any one came into the Church you should have seen above twenty poor thirsty Fellows hang upon him that was the Distributer of the Water and that with a wide open Throat gaping for some little drop like the rich Glutton in St. Luke that might fall by lest any thing should be lost O how happy was he in that Year who had a cool Cellar under ground well plenished with fresh Wine The Philosopher reports in moving the Question Wherefore is it that the Sea-Water is salt That at the time when Phoebus gave the Government of his resplendent Chariot to his Son Phaeton the said Phaeton unskilful in the Art and not knowing how to keep the Ecliptick-Line betwixt the two Tropicks of the Latitude of the Sun's Course strayed out of his way and came so near the Earth that he dried up all the Countries that were under it burning a great part of the Heaven which the Philosophers call Via lactea and the Huffsnuffs St. Iames his way altho the most lofty and high-crested Poets affirm that to be the place where Iuno's Milk fell when she gave Suck to Hercules The Earth at that time was so excessively heated that it fell into an enormous Sweat yea such an one that made it sweat out the Sea which is therefore salt because all Sweat is salt and this you cannot but confess to be true if you will taste of your own or of those that have the Pox when they are put into a sweating it is all one to me Just such another case fell out this same Year for on a certain Friday when the whole People were bent upon their Devotions and had made goodly Processions with store of Letanies and fair Preachings and Beseechings of God Almighty to look down with his Eye of Mercy upon their miserable and disconsolate Condition there was even then visibly seen issue out of the Ground great drops of Water such as fall from a Man in a top Sweat and the poor Hoydons began to rejoice as if it had been a thing very profitable unto them for some said that there was not one drop of Moisture in the Air whence they might have any Rain and that the Earth did supply the default of that Other learned Men said that it was a Shower of the Antipodes as Seneca saith in his fourth Book Quaestionum Naturalium speaking of the Source and Spring of Nilus but they were deceived for the Procession being ended when every one went about to gather of this Dew and to drink of it with full Bowls they found that it was nothing but Pickle and the very Brine of Salt more brackish in Taste than the saltest Water of the Sea and because in that very Day Pantagruel was born his Father gave him that Name for Panta in Greek is as much as to say all and Gruel in the Hagarene Language doth signify thirsty inferring hereby that at his Birth the whole World was adry and thirsty as likewise foreseeing that he would be some day Supream Lord and Soveraign of the thirsty Companions which was shewn to him at that very same hour by a more evident sign for when his Mother Badebec was in the bringing of him forth and that the Midwives did wait to receive him there came first out of her Belly threescore and eight Salt-sellers every one of them leading in a Halter a Mule heavy loaded with Salt after whom issued forth nine Dromedaries with great Loads of Gammons of Bacon and dried Neats-Tongues on their Backs then followed seven Camels loaded with Links and Chitterlins Hogs-puddings and Sassages after them came out five great Wains full of Leeks Garlick Onions and Chibols drawn with five and thirty strong Cart-horses which was six for every one besides the Thiller At the sight hereof the Midwives were much amazed yet some of them said Lo here is good Provision and indeed we need it for we drink but lazily as if our Tongues walked on Crutches truly this is a good sign there is nothing here but what is fit for us these are the Spurs of Wine that set it a going As they were tatling thus together after their own manner of Chat behold out comes Pantagruel all hairy like a Bear whereupon one of them inspired with a Prophetical Spirit said This will be a terrible Fellow he is born with all his Hair he is undoubtedly to do wonderful things and if he live he will be of Age. CHAP. III. Of the Grief wherewith Gargantua was moved at the Decease of his Wife Badebec WHen Pantagruel was born there was none more astonished and perplexed than was his Father Gargantua for on the one side seeing his Wife Badebec dead and on the other side his Son Pantagruel born so fair and so goodly he knew not what to say nor what to do and the Doubt that troubled his Brain was to know whether he should cry for the Death of his Wife or laugh for the Joy of his Son he was hinc inde choaked with Sophistical Arguments for he framed them very well in modo figura but he could not resolve them remaining pestered and entangled by this means like a Mouse catch'd in a Trap or Kite snar'd in a Gin. Shall I weep said he Yes for why my so good Wife is dead who was the most this the most that that ever was in the World Never shall I see her never shall I recover such another it is unto me an inestimable Loss O my good God what had I done that thou shouldst thus punish me Why didst thou not take me away before her seeing for me to live without her is
and store of Spiceries to put the old Women in rut and heat of Lust. To be short they occupied all like good Souls only to those that were horribly ugly and ill-favoured I caused their Heads to be put within a Bag to hide their Face Besides all this I have lost a great deal in Suits of Law And what Law-Suits couldst thou have said I thou hast neither House nor Lands My Friend said he the Gentlewomen of this City had found out by the instigation of the Devil of Hell a manner of high-mounted Gorgets and Neckerchiefs for Women which did so closely cover their Bosoms that Men could no more put their Hands under for they had put the Slit behind and those Neckcloths were wholly shut before whereat the poor sad contemplative Lovers were much discontented Upon a fair Tuesday I presented a Petition to the Court making my self a Party against the said Gentlewomen and shewing the great Interest that I pretended therein protesting that by the same reason I would cause the Cod-piece of my Breeches to be sowed behind if the Court would not take order for it In sum the Gentlewomen put in their Defences shewed the Grounds they went upon and constituted their Attorney for the prosecuting of the Cause but I pursued them so vigorously that by a Sentence of the Court it was decreed those high Neckcloths should be no longer worn if they were not a little cleft and open before but it cost me a good Sum of Money I had another very filthy and beastly Process against Master Fohfoh and his Deputies that they should no more read privily the Pipe Punehon nor quart of Sentences but in fair full-day and that in the Fodder-Schools in face of the Arrian Sophisters where I was ordained to pay the Charges by reason of some Clause mistaken in the Relation of the Serjeant Another time I framed a Complaint to the Court against the Mules of the Presidents Counsellors and others tending to this purpose that when in the lower Court of the Palace they left them to champ on their Bridles some Bibs might be made for them that with their Drivelling they might not spoil the Pavement to the end that the Pages of the Palace might play upon it at Dice or Coxbody at their own ease without spoiling their Breeches at the Knees And for this I had a fair Decree but it cost me dear Now reckon up what Expence I was at in little Banquets which from Day to Day I made to the Pages of the Palace And to what end said I My Friend said he thou hast no pass-time at all in this World I have more than the King and if thou wilt join thy self with me we will do the Devil together No no said I by St. Adauras that will I not for thou wilt be hanged one time or another And thou said he wilt be interred sometime or other Now which is most honourable the Air or the Earth Ho grosse Pecore Whilst the Pages are at their Banqueting I keep their Mules and to some one I cut the Stirrup-leather of the Mounting side till it hang but by a thin Strap or Thread that when the great Puff-guts of the Counsellor or some other hath taken his Swing to get up he may fall flat on his Side like a Pork and so furnish the Spectators with more than a hundred Francks worth of Laughter But I laugh yet further to think how at his home-coming the Master-page is to be whipp'd like green Rie which makes me not to repent what I have bestowed in feasting them In brief he had as I said before threescore and three Ways to acquire Money but he had two hundred and fourteen to spend it besides his Drinking CHAP XVIII How a great Scholar of England would have argued against Pantagruel and was overcome by Panurge IN that same time a certain learned Man named Thaumast hearing the Fame and Renown of Pantagruel's incomparable Knowledg came out of his own Countrey of England with an Intent only to see him to try thereby and prove whether his Knowledg in Effect was so great as it was reported to be In this Resolution being arrived at Paris he went forthwith unto the House of Pantagruel who was lodged in the Palace of St. Denys and was then walking in the Garden with Panurge philosophizing after the Fashion of the Peripateticks At his first Entrance he startled and was almost out of his Wits for Fear seeing him so great and so tall then did he salute him courteously as the Manner is and said unto him Very true it is saith Plato the Prince of Philosophers that if the Image of Knowledg and Wisdom were corporeal and visible to the Eyes of Mortals it would stir up all the World to admire her Which we may the rather believe that the very bare Report thereof scattered in the Air if it happen to be received into the Ears of Men who for being studious and Lovers of vertuous things are called Philosophers doth not suffer them to sleep nor rest in Quiet but so pricketh them up and sets them on fire to run unto the Place where the Person is in whom the said Knowledg is said to have built her Temple and uttered her Oracles as it was manifestly shewn unto us in the Queen of Sheba who came from the utmost Borders of the East and Persian Sea to see the Order of Solomon's House and to hear his Wisdom In Anacharsis who came out of Scythia even unto Athens to see Solon In Pythagoras who travelled far to visit the Memphitical Vaticinators In Platon who went a great way off to see the Magicians of Egypt and Architas of Tarentum In Apollonius Tianeus who went as far as unto Mount Caucasus passed along the Scythians the Massagetes the Indians and sailed over the great River Phison even to the Brachmans to see Hiarchas As likewise unto Babylon Chaldea Media Assyria Parthia Syria Phaenicia Arabia Palestina and Alexandria even unto Aethiopia to see the Gymnosophists The like Example have we of Titus Livius whom to see and hear divers studious Persons came to Rome from the Confines of France and Spain I dare not reckon my self in the Number of those so excellent Persons but well would be called studious and a Lover not only of Learning but of learned Men also And indeed having heard the Report of your so inestimable Knowledg I have left my Country my Friends my Kindred and my House and am come thus far valuing at nothing the length of the Way the Tediousness of the Sea nor Strangeness of the Land and that only to see you and to confer with you about some Passages in Philosophy of Geomancie and of the Cabalistick Art whereof I am doubtful and cannot satisfy my Mind which if you can resolve I yield my self unto you for a Slave henceforward together with all my Posterity for other Gift have I none that I can esteem a Recompence sufficient for so great a Favour
made account to have kept secret he might by imposing with the less suspicion of false dealing his own Name upon the said found out Seed acquire unto himself an immortal Honour and Glory for having been the Inventor of a Grain so profitable and necessary to and for the use of Humane Life For the wickedness of which Treasonable Attempt he was by Ceres transformed into that wild Beast which by some is called a Lynx and by others an Oince Such also was the Ambition of others upon the like occasion as appeareth by that very sharp Wars and of a long continuance have been made of old betwixt some Residentary Kings in Capadocia upon this only Debate of whose Name a certain Herb should have the Appellation by reason of which difference so troublesom and expensive to them all it was by them called Polemonion and by us for the same Cause termed Make-bate Other Herbs and Plants there are which retain the Names of the Countries from whence they were transported As the Median Apples from Media where they first grew Punick Apples from Punicia that is to say Carthage Ligusticum which we call Louage from Liguria the Coast of Genoua Rubarb from a Flood in Barbary as Ammianus attesteth called Ru Sautonica from a Region of that Name Fenugreek from Greece Gastanes from a Country so called Persicarie from Persia Sabine from a Territory of that Appellation Staechas from the Staechad Islands Spica Celtica from the Land of the Celtick Gauls and so throughout a great many other which were tedious to enumerate Some others again have obtained their Denominations by way of Antiphrasis or Contrariety as Absinth because it is contrary to 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 for it is bitter to the taste in drinking Holosteon as if it were all Bones whilst on the contrary there is no frailer tenderer nor britler Herb in the whole Production of Nature than it There are some other sorts of Herbs which have got their Names from their Vertues and Operatious as Aristolochie because it helpeth Women in Child-birth Lichen for that it cureth the Disease of that name Mallow because it mollifieth Callithricum because it maketh the Hair of a bright Colour Alyssum Ephemerum Bechium Nasturtium Aneban and so forth through many more Other some there are which have obtained their Names from the admirable Qualities that are found to be in them as Heliotropium which is the Marigold because it followeth the Sun so that at the Sun rising it displayeth and spreads it self out at his ascending it mounteth at his declining it waineth and when he is set it is close shut Adianton because although it grow near unto watry places and albeit you should let it lie in Water a long time it will nevertheless retain no Moisture nor Humidity Hierachia Eringium and so throughout a great many more There are also a great many Herbs and Plants which have retained the very same Names of the Men and Women who have been metamorphosed and transformed in them as from Daphne the Lawrel is called also Daphne Myrrhe from Myrrha the Daughter of Cinarus Pythis from Pythis Cinara which is the Artichock from one of that name Narcissus with Saffran Similax and divers others Many Herbs likewise have got their Names of those things which they seem to have some Resemblance as Hippuris because it hath the likeness of a Horses Tail Alopecuris because it representeth in similitude the Tail of a Fox Psyllion from a Flea which it resembleth Delphinium for that it is like a Dolphin Fish Buglosse is so called because it is an Herb like an Oxes Tongue Iris so called because in its Flowers it hath some resemblance of the Rain-bow Myosata because it is like the Ear of a Mouse Coronopus for that it is of the likeness of a Crows Foot A great many other such there are which here to recite were needless Furthermore as there are Herbs and Plants which have had their Names from those of Men so by a reciprocal Denomination have the Surnames of many Families taken their Origin from them as the Fabii à fabis Beans the Pisons à pisis Pease the Lentuli from Lentils the Cicerons à Ciceribus vel Ciceris a sort of Pulse called Cichepeason and so forth In some Plants and Herbs the resemblance or likeness hath been taken from a higher Mark or Object as when we say Venus Navil Venus Hair Venus Tub Iupiter's Beard Iupiter's Eye Mars's Blood the Hermodactyl or Mercury's Fingers which are all of them Names of Herbs as there are a great many more of the like Appellation Others again have received their Denomination from their Forms such as the Trefoil because it is three-leaved Pentaphylon for having five Leaves Serpolet because it creepeth along the ground Helixine Petast Myrobalon which the Arabians call Been as if you would say an Ackorne for it hath a kind of resemblance thereto and withal is very oily CHAP. LI. Why is it called Pantagruelion and of the admirable Vertues thereof BY such like means of attaining to a Denomination the fabulous ways being only from thence excepted for the Lord forbid that we should make use of any Fables in this a so venerable History is this Herb called Pantagruelion for Pantagruel was the Inventor thereof I do not say of the Plant it self but of a certain use which it serves for exceeding odious and hateful to Thieves and Robbers unto whom it is more contrarious and hurtful than the Strangle-weed Choakfitch is to the Flax the Cats-tail to the Brakes the Sheavgrass to the Mowers of Hay the Fitches to the Chickny Pease the Darnel to Barley the Hatchet Fitch to the Lentil Pulse the Antramium to the Beans Tares to Wheat Ivy to Walls the Water Lilly to lecherous Monks the Birchen Rod to the Scholars of the Colledge of Navarre in Paris Colewort to the Vine-tree Garlick to the Load-stone Onyons to the sight Fearn-seed to Women with Child Willow Grain to vicious Nuns the Yew-tree shade to those that sleep under it Wolfsbane to Wolves and Libbards the Smell of Fig-tree to mad Bulls Hemlock to Goslings Purslane to the Teeth or Oil to Trees For we have seen many of those Rogues by vertue and right application of this Herb finish their Lives short and long after the manner of Phillis Queen of Thracia of Benosus Emperor of Rome of Amata King Latinus's Wife of Iphus Autolicus Lycambe Arachne Phaedra Leda Achius King of Lydia and many thousands more who were chiefly angry and vexed at this Disaster therein that without being otherways sick evil disposed in their Bodies by a touch only of the Pantagruelian they came on a suddain to have the passage obstructed and their Pipes through which were wont to bolt so many jolly Sayings and to enter so many luscious Morsels stopped more cleaverly than ever could have done the Squinancy Others have been heard most wofully to lament at the very instant when Atropos was about to cut the thred of their Life