the head knocke at a Starre Cleane through the Seeling Val. Fancy Fancy King I saw it Val. A meere Deceptio visus King A vice Asse Y' are an incredulous Coxcombe these saw it Val. Well they did they did King I call'd for helpe these enter'd found mee dead with feare Omn. 'T is right Sir King Did not the Spirits glide by thee Mar. Your Grace must pardon me I saw none King 'Shart doe I lye doe you braue me you base Peasant Mart. No my Lord but I must guard my life against an Emperor King One of my wiues men is 't not Ha! What a Pox fawnes the Curre for here away Exit Martines Her Spye Sir Are you Val. Sooth him vp y' are fooles If the Lyon say the Asses eares are hornes The Asse if he be wise will sweare it la Sir These tell me they all saw it Omn. Yes my Lord Enter Iago King And yet I lye a whoreson buzzard Now sir Iago Prince Iohn is comming King When sir Iago Instantly King Father I le tell you a Tale vpon a time The Lyon Foxe and silly Asse did jarre Grew friends and what they got agreed to share A prey was tane the bold Asse did diuide it Into three equall parts the Lyon spy'd it And scorning two such sharers moody grew And pawing the Asse shooke him as I shake you Valasc. Not too hard good my Lord alas I am craz'd King And in rage tore him peece meale the Asse thus dead The prey was by the Foxe distributed Into three parts agen of which the Lyon Had two for his share and the Foxe but one The Lyon smiling of the Foxe would know Where he had this wit he the dead did show Valasc. An excellent Tale King Thou art that Asse Valasc. I King Thou you and the Foxe my Brother cut my Kingdome Into what steakes you list I share no more Then what you list to giue You two broach Warre or Peace you plot contriue You flea off the Lyons skinne you sell him aliue But hauing torne the Asse first limbe from limbe His death shall tell the Foxe I le so serue him Valasc. I doe all this 't is false in Prince Iohns face I le spit if he dares speake it you might ride me For a right Asse indeed if I should kick At you vndermine you or blow you vp In whom the hope of my posterity By marriage of my child your wife doth grow None but an Asse would doe it King If I know your little finger was but in 't neither age Your place in Court and Councell respect of honour Nor of my wife your Daughter shall keepe this head Vpon these shoulders Enter Prince Iohn Valasc. Take it now here 's Prince Iohn King How now Brother Sick Ioh. Not very well King Our Court is some Inchanted Tower you come not neare it Are you not troubled with some paine i' th head Your Night-cap shewes you are Ioh. Yes wonderously a kind of Megrim Sir Ioh. I thinke to bind Your Temples with the Crowne of Spaine would ease you Ioh. The Crowne of Spaine my Temples King Nay I but iest A Kingdome would make any Sicke man well And Iohn I would thou hadst one Ioh. It shall goe hard else Valasc. The King I thanke him sayes that you and I King What Valasc. Cut you out sir in steakes I le not be silent And that I am an Asse and a Foxe you Haue I any dealings with you Ioh. When I am to deale sir A wise man then shall hold the Cards Valasc. Now I 'm call'd foole too King Sir if you remember Before he came you buzz'd into mine eare Tunes that did found but scuruily Val. I buz What buz King That he should sell me to the Portugall Val. Wer 't thou as big as all the Kings i' th world 'T is false and I defie thee King Nay Sir and more Val. Out with 't no whispering King I shall blush to speake it Harke you a Poxe vpon 't cannot you sooth His sullen Lordship vp you see I doe Platter him confesse any thing Val. A good Iest I should confesse to him I know not what And haue my throat cut but I know not why Ioh. W'ud your Grace Would licence me a while to leaue the Court To attend my health King Doe Ioh. I take my leaue as for you Sir Exit King My Lord doe you see this Change i' th Moone sharpe hornes Doe threaten windy weather shall I rule you Send to him dead words write to him your mind And if your hearts be vnsound purge both all humors That are corrupt within you Val. I le neuer write but to him in person Exit Enter old Lady King Pray Madam rise Iag. Doe you know this old furie Alph. No what is she Iag. She 's the Kings nuthooke if report has not a blister on her tongue that when any Filberd-tree is ripe puls downe the brauest bowes to his hand a Lady Pandresse and as this yeares Almanacke sayes has a priuate hot-house for his Grace onely to sweat in her name the Lady Dildoman the poore Knight her Husband is troubled with the City Gowt lyes i' th Counter K. I le hang him that stirres in 't the proudest Fawlcon that 's pearcht vp nearest the Eagle if he dare make this his prey how many yeares Lad. Fifteene and vpwards if it please your Grace Kin. Some two footed Diuell in our Court Would thrust you out of all Inclos'd or Common Lad. 'T is yet inclos'd if it like your Grace King Entayl'd Lad. Newly Entayl'd as there 't is to be seene in blacke and white King This case my selfe will handle fee no Lawyer I le stand for you ha Servants of mine turn'd grinders To oppresse the weake What slaue is 't from my sight Least my heau'd hand swerue awry and Innocence smite Alph. This Bawd belike has her house pull'd downe Exeunt King So come hither nearer where shines this starre Lad. I' th City brightly sprightly brauely oh 't is a Creature King Young Lad. Delicate piercing eye inchanting voyce lip red and moyst skin soft and white she 's amorous delicious inciferous tender neate King Thou madst me newly married Lad. New married that 's all the hole you can find in her conte but so newly the poesie of her wedding Ring is scarce warme with the heate of her finger therefore my Lord fasten this wagtayle as soone as you can lime your bush for women are Venice-glasses one knocke spoyles em King Crackt things pox on 'em Lad. And then they 'l hold no more then a Lawyers Conscience King How shall I get a sight of this rich Diamond Lad. I would haue you first disguis'd goe along with mee and buy some toy in her shop and then if you like Danae fall into her lap like Iove a net of Goldsmiths worke will plucke vp more women at one draught then a Fisherman does Salmons at fifteene King What 's her Husband Lad. A flatcap pish if he storme
A TRAGI-COMEDY Called Match mee in LONDON As it hath beene often Presented First at the Bull in St. IOHNS-street And lately at the Priuate-House in DRVRY-Lane called the PHOENIX Si non His vtere Mecum Written by THO DEKKER LONDON Printed by B. ALSOP and T. FAVVCET for H. SEILE at the Tygers-head in St. Pauls Church-yard 1631 Drammatis Personae KING of SPAINE DON IOHN Prince DON VALASCO Father to the Queene GAZETTO Louer of TORMIELLA MALEVENTO Father to her CORDOLENTE her Husband ALPHONSO Courtiers IAGO MARTINES LVPO DOCTOR 2. CHVRCHMEN BILBO PACHECO LAZARILLO QVEENE TORMIELLA DILDOMAN a Bawd TO THE NOBLE LOVER and deseruedly beloued of the Muses LODOVVICK CARLELL Esquire Gentleman of the BOVVES and Groome of the King and Queenes Priuy-Chamber THat I am thus bold to sing a Dramatick Note in your Eare is no wonder in regard you are a Chorister in the Quire of the Muses Nor is it any Over-daring in mee to put a Play-Booke into your hands being a Courtier Roman Poets did so to their Emperours the Spanish Now to their Grandi'es the Italians to their Illustrissimoes and our owne Nation to the Great-ones I haue beene a Priest in APOLLO'S Temple many yeares my voyce is decaying with my Age yet yours being cleare and aboue mi ne shall much honour mee if you but listen to my old Tunes Are they set Ill Pardon them Well! Then receiue them Clad will you make mee if by your Meanes the King of Spaine speakes our Language in the Court of England yet haue you wrought as great A wonder For the Nine sacred Sisters by you are There become Courtiers and talke with sweet Tongues Instructed by your Delian Eloquence You have a King to your Master a Queene to your Mistresse and the Musse your Play fellowes I to them a Servant And yet what Duty soeuer I owe them some part will I borrow to waite vpon you And to Rest Ever So devoted Tho: DEKKER MATCH MEE IN LONDON ACTVS I. Enter MALEVENTO Malevento TOrmiella Daughter nor in this roome Peace 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. The dawne of Midnight and the Drunkards noone No honest soules vp now but Vintners Midwiues The nodding Watch and pitious Constable Ha My street doore open Bilbo Puskeena Bilbo Bawds Panders to a young Whore Bilbo Enter Bilbo Bilb. Theeues Theeues Theeues where are they Master Mal. Where are they Bilbo What Theefe seest thou Bil. That ilfauor'd Theefe in your Candle sir none else not I Mal. Why didst thou cry Theeues then Bilb. Because you cry'd Whores I knew a Theefe was alwayes within a stones cast of a Whore Mal. What mak'st thou vp at Midnight Bilb. I make them which are made euery houre i' th day patches Mal. Slaue what art doing Bil. That which few men can doe mending Sir Mal. VVhat art mending Bil. That which few men care to mend a bad sole Mal. Looke here come hither dost thou see what 's this Bil. I see t is our Wicket master Mal. Stop there and tell me is Tormiella forth Bil. I heard Puskeena our Kitchin-maid say she was going about a murther Mal. A murther of whom Bil. Of certaine Skippers she was fleaing her selfe Mal. She dwels not in her Chamber for my Ghost Call'd from his rest from Roome to roome has stalk'd Yet met no Tormelia Was not her sweet heart here to night Gazetto Bil. Gazetto no sir here was no Gazetto here Mal. Walke round the Orchard holla for her there Bil. So ho ho ho ho Exit Mal. She 's certaine with Gazetto Should he turne Villaine traine my poore child forth Though she 's contracted to him and rob her youth Of that Gemme none can prize because nere seene The Virgins riches Chastity and then When he has left her vgly to all eyes His owne should loath her vds death I would draw An old mans nerues all vp into this arme And nayle him to the Bed Enter Bilbo Bil. So ho ho ho the Conyes vse to feed most i' th' night Sir yet I cannot see my young mistris in our Warren Mal. No! Bil. No nor you neither t is so darke Mal. Where should this foolish girle be t is past twelue Who has inuited her forth to her quicke ruine Bil. My memory jogs me by the elbow and tels me Mal. What Bilbo out with all Bil. A Barber stood with her on Saturday night very late when he had shau'd all his Customers and as I thinke came to trimme her Mal. A Barber To trim her Sawst thou the Muskeod Bil. A chequer'd aprone Gentleman I assure you he smelt horrible strong of Camphire Bay leaues and Rose water and he stood fidling with Tormiella Mal. Ha Bil. Fidling at least halfe an houre on a Citterne with a mans broken head at it so that I thinke 't was a Barber Surgion and there 's one Cynamomo a Shopkeeper comes hither a batfowling euery Moone-shine night too Mal. What 's he Cynamomo Bil. I take him to be a Comfitmaker with rotten teeth for he neuer comes till the Barber 's gone Mal. A Comfitmaker Bii. Yes Sir for he gaue Tormiella a Candied roote once and she swore 't was the sweetest thing Mal. Dwels he hero i' th City Bil. He has a house i' th City but I know not where he liues Mal. Shee le follow her kind turne Monster get a light Bil. My sconce is ready Sir Mal. Call at Gazettoes Lodging aske how he dares Make a Harlot of my child slaue say no more Begon beat boldly Bil. I le beat downe the doore and put him in mind of a Shroue-tuesday the fatall day for doores to be broken open Exit Mal. For this night I 'm her Porter Oh haplesse Creatures There is in woman a Diuell from her birth Of bad ones we have sholes of good a dearth Exit Enter Cordolente and Tormiella Cor. No more my Tormiella night hath borne Thy vowes to heauen where they are fyl'd by this Eyther one day to crowne thy constant Soule Or if thou spot it with foule periury For euer to condemne thee Tor. Come it shall not Here am I sphear'd for euer thy feares deare Loue Strike coldly on thy jealous breast I know From that my Fathers promise to Gazetto That he should haue me contract is there none For my heart loath'd it is there left an oath Fit for a Maid to sweare by Cord. Good sweet giue o're What need we binding oathes being fast before I dare the crabbed'st Fate shee cannot spin A thred thus fine and rotten how now sad Tor. Pray Heauen I bee not mist at home deare Cordolente Thou shalt no farther I le venter now my selfe Cor. How sweet venture alone Torm. Yes yes good rest Cor. By that are Louers parted seldome blest Enter Bilbo Bil. Who goes there if you be a woman stand for all the men I met to night lye in the Kennell Tor. My Fathers man I am betray'd Cor. Feare nothing Tor. Bilbo Whether art thou running Bil. Out of
by no meanes No let her flutter now she 's fast i' th net On disobedience a gracefull shame is set Cord. A strange dead palsie when a womans tongue Has not the power to stirre dumb call her I say Enter Bilbo Bil. Strange newes Sir Cord. What is 't Bil. Yonder 's a Coach full of good faces Cord. That so strange Bil. Yes to alight at our Gate They are all comming vp as boldly as if they were Landlords and came for Rent see else Enter Gentlemen and Gentlewomen 1. Gent. The woman of the House sir pray Cor. She 's in her Chamber sirrah shew the way Exeunt manet Gentlemen and walke Mal. Doe you know these Cord. Troth not I sir I 'me amaz'd At this their strange ariuall Mal. By their starcht faces Small shancks and blisted shoo-knobs they should be Courtiers Cord. Our Spanish Mercers say th' are the brauest fellowes Mal. For braue men th' are no lesse i' th Taylors bookes Courtiers in Citizens Houses are Summer fires May well be spar'd and being cleane out are best They doe the house no good but helpe consume They burne the wood vp and o're-heat the roome Sweetening onely th' ayre a little that 's all Play the right Citizen then whil'st you gaine by them Hug 'em if they plucke your feathers come not nigh them Cord. I le close with them Mal. Doe Cord. Welcome Gentlemen Omn. Thanks Cord. Pray sir what Ladies may these be with my Wife 1. Gent. Faith sir if they would cast themselues away vpon Knights they may be Knights Ladies but they are onely Gentlewomen of an exceeding sweet carriage and fashion and 't is so Sir that your wiues doings being bruited and spread abroad to be rare for her handling the Spanish needle these beauties are come onely to haue your wife pricke out a thing which must be done out of hand that 's the whole businesse Sir Cord. In good time Sir Mal. Of Court I pray Sir are you 2. Gent. Yes Sir we follow the Court now and then as others follow vs Cord. He meanes those they owe money too Mal. Pray Sir what newes at Court 1. Gent. Faith Sir the old stale newes blacke Iackes are fill'd and standing Cups emptyed Mal. I see then Iackes are sawcie in euery corner I haue giuen it him vnder the list of the eare Cord. 'T was soundly you see he 's strucke dead Mal. Dauncing Baboone Enter Tormiella mask'd and in other Garments the Gentlewomen with her and Gentlemen leading her away Torm. Farewell Omn. To Coach away 1. Gent. The Welch Embassador has a Message to you sir 2. Gent. Hee will bee with you shortly when the Moones Hornes are i' th full Exeunt Mal. What 's that they talke Cord. Nothing but this they haue giuen it me soundly I feele it vnder the lists of both eares where 's my wife Enter Bilbo Bil. She 's falne sicke sir Cord. The Night-mare rides her Mal. Ha! sicke how sicke Bil. Of the falling sicknesse you and my Master haue vs'd her to runne away that she has shew'd you another light paire of heeles she 's gon Sir Cord. Thou lyest Bil. It may be she lyes by this time but I stand to my words I say agen She 's gon sir cast your Cap at her but she 's gon hurried into a Coach drawne with foure Horses Cord. These her oathes vowes protestations damnations a Serpent kist the first woman and euer since the whole sexe haue giuen sucke to Adders Mal. Run into th' Street and if thou seest the priuiledg'd Bawdy house she went into Bil. That runs on foure wheeles the Caroach sir Cor. Cry to the whole City to stop her Bil. I will sir 't is euery mans case i' th City to haue his wife stop'd Exit Mal. Well what wilt thou say if this be a plot Of merriment betwixt thy wife and them For them to come thus and disguise her thus Thus whorry her away to some by-Towne But foure or fiue miles distance from the City Then must we hunt on Horsebacke find our game See and not know her in this strange disguise But the jest smelt out showts and plaudities Must ring about the Table where she sits Then you kissing her I must applaud their wits Cor. Well I will once be gull'd in this your Comedy A while I le play the Wittall I will winck Sir One Bird you see is flowne out of the nest Mal. What Bird Cord. A wagtaile after flye all the rest Mal. Come then Exeunt Finis Actus secundi ACTVS III Enter Iohn a Doctor and Pacheco Ioh. Pacheco Pach. My Lord Ioh. It shall be so to the King presently See my Caroach be ready furnish me To goe to Court sir Pach. Well Sir Exit Do. Why my Lord Ioh. What sayst thou Do. You will ouerthrow the state Of that deare health which so much cost and time Haue beene a building vp your pores lying open Colds Agues and all enemies to pure bloods Wil enter and destroy life Enter Pacheco with Cloake and Rapier Ioh. I will to Court Do. Pray my Lord stirre not forth Ioh. Lay downe begon Exit Pacheco Do. The Ayre will pierce you Iohn I ha tooke cold already Do. When sir Ioh. When you councell'd me to ride my horse Do. Nay that was well how slept you the next night Ioh. Not a winck Doct. All the better Ioh. But i' th next morning I could not in a Russian stoue sweat more Then I did in my Bed Doct. Marry I 'me glad on 't Ioh. And had no clothes vpon me Doct. Still the better Ioh. My bones Sir pay'd for all this and yet you cry still the better when you ha' purg'd your pockets full of gold out of a Patient and then nayl'd him in 's Coffin you cry then still the better too a man were better to lye vnder the hands of a Hangman than one of your rubarbatiue faces sirrha Doctor I doe not thinke but I haue beene well all this time I haue beene Sicke Doctor Oh my good Lord Ioh. Oh good Master Doctor come no more of this I haue another Diaphragma for you to tickle you minister poyson in some Medicines doe you not Doct. Yes my good Lord in Purgatiue and Expulsiue Ioh. So so breake not my head with your hard words you can for a need poyson a Great man Doct. Your Lordship 's merry Ioh. Right Sir but I must haue it done in sadnesse 't is your Trade Master Doctor to send men packing harke you 't is no lesse Bug-beare then Don Valasco Do. The Admirall of Castile Ioh. Him you must sincke Do. 'T is my certaine death to doe it Ioh. And thy certaine death to deny it if you will not shew him a cast of your Office I le be so bold as bestow this vpon you of mine I am sharpe set will you doe it Do. I will by these two hands Ioh. When Do. When you please Ioh. This day Do. This hower Ioh. And make him fast Do. Fast Ioh.
For speaking Do. For speaking Ioh. Why then good Doctor rise To honour by it be secret and be wise Enter Pacheco Pa. The Admirall is come my Lord Ioh. A way with these show him the way in Doctor Do. Oh my Lord Enter Valasco Ioh. If you faile Val. All health to your good Lordship I wish that Which most I thinke you want Ioh. Thankes my good Lord Doctor dispatch take heed your Compositions Hit as I told you Do. Oh my Lord I am beaten to these things Exit Ioh. Goe then this visitation of your Lordship I take most kindly Val. Two maine wheeles my Lord Haue hither brought mee on the Kings Command To'ther my loue with a desire to know Why I mong'st all the trees that spread it 'h Court Should still be smote with lightening from your eye Yours onely dangerous Arrowes shootes at me You haue the Courtiers dialect right your tongue Walkes ten miles from your heart when last you saw me Doe you remember how you threaten'd as for you Sir Ioh. These notes are strange Val. Oh my good Lord be my good Lord I read Harsh Lectures in your face but meet no Comment That can dissolue the riddle vnlesse it be Out of that noble fashion that great men Must trip some heeles vp tho they stand as low As Vintners when they coniure onely to shew Their skill in wrastling 't is not well to strike A man whose hands are bound like should chuse like Ioh. I strike you not nor striue to giue you falls 'T is your owne guilt afflicts you if to the King The song I set of you did to your eare Vnmusically sound 't was not in hate To you but in desire to giue the state True knowledge of my innocence be sure a bird Chanted that tune to mee that onely you Incens'd the King that I should sell him Val. Vmh Ioh. Doe you thinke I lye Val. I doe beleeue your Lordship Ioh. 'T was a man most neare you Val. A bosome villaine Ioh. For you must think that all that bow stand bare And giue Court Cakebread to you loue you not Val. True loue my Lord at Court is hardly got Ioh. If I can friend you vse me Val. Humble thankes Ioh. Oh my good Lord times siluer foretop stands On end before you but you put it by Catch it 't is yours scap'd neuer yours your shoulders Beare the Weale-publique vp but they should beare Like Pillars to be strong themselues would I Want fish at Sea or golden showers at Court I 'de goe awry sometimes wer 't but for sport Val. Say you so Io. Sell Iustice and she 'l by you Lordships cloath her As Citizens doe their wiues beyond their worth She 'll make you sell your Lordships and your plate No wise man will for nothing serue a state Remember this your Daughter is the Queene Braue phrase to say my Sonne in Law the King Whil'st sweet showers fall and Sunne-shine make your Spring Val. You looke not out I see nor heare the stormes Which late haue shooke the Court Ioh. Not I what stormes Val. You in your Cabbin know nothing there 's a Pinnace Was mann'd out first by th' City is come to th' Court New rigg'd a very painted Gally foist And yet our Spanish Caruils the Armada Of our great vessels dare not stirre for her Ioh. What Pinnace meane you Val. From his lawfull pillow The King has tane a Citizens wife Ioh. For what Val. What should men doe with Citizens wiues at Court All will be naught poore Queene 't is she smarts for 't Ioh. Now 't is your time to strike Val. He does her wrong And I shall tell him soundly Ioh. Tell him Val. I le pay it home Ioh. Were you some Father in Law now Val. What lyes heere Lyes here and none shall know it Ioh. How easie were it For you to set this warping Kingdome straight Val. The peoples hearts are full Ioh. And weed the State Val. Too full of weeds already Ioh. And to take all Into your owne hands Val. I could soone doo 't Ioh. Then doo 't Val. Doe what misprize me not pray good my Lord Nor let these foolish words we shoot i' th Ayre Fall on our heads and wound vs to take all Into mine owne hands this I meane Ioh. Come on Val. Boldly and honestly to chide the King Ioh. Vmh Val. Take his minx vp short Ioh. Take her vp Val. Roundly to rate her Wittall husband to stirre vp Ioh. The people since mens wiues are common Cases Val. You heare not me say so Ioh. To force this Tyrant to mend or end Val. Good day to your Lordship Ioh. Shoot off the Peece you haue charg'd Val. No it recoyles Ioh. You and I shall fall to cutting throates Val. Why Ioh. If euer you speake of this Val. If we cut one another throates I shall neuer Speake of this fare your Lordship well Alphonso de Gramada Enter Alphonso Alph. Good health to both your Lordships Ioh. Thankes good Alphonso nay pray stay Val. Where hast thou beene Alphonso Alph. In the Marquesse of Villa Noua del Rios Garden Where I gathered these Grapes Val. And th' are the fairest Grapes I euer toucht Ioh. Troth so they are plump Bacchus cheekes were neuer So round and red the very God of Wine Swels in this bunch Lyaeus set this Vine Val. I haue not seene a louelier Alph. 'T is your Lordships if you vouchsafe to take it Val. Oh I shall rob you of too much sweetnesse Alph. No my Lord Val. I thanke you Alph. Make bold to see your honour Ioh. Good Alphonso Alph. And loath to be too troublesome take my leaue Ioh. My duty to the King Val. Farewell good Alphonso Exit Ioh. How doe you like your Grapes Val. Most delicate taste 'em Is it not strange that on a branch so faire Should grow so foule a fruit as Drunkards are Ioh. These are the bullets that make Cities reele More then the Cannon can Val. This Iuice infus'd In man makes him a beast good things abus'd Conuert to poyson thus how now Ioh. I 'me dizzie Oh! does not all the house run round on wheeles Doe not the Posts goe round my Lord this fellow Loues you I hope Val. I le pawne my life he does Io. Would all we both are worth were laid to pawne To a Broaker that 's vndamn'd for halfe a dram For halfe a scruple oh we are poyson'd Val. Ha! Ioh. What doe you feele Val. A giddynesse too me thinkes Ioh. Without there call the Doctor slaue Enter Pacheco Pach. He 's here Sir Enter Doctor Ioh Oh Doctor now or neuer giue him his last We are poyson'd both Exit Doctor Val. I thinke our banes are ask'd Ioh. Hee 'l bring that shall forbid it call him villaine Pa. Well Sir I will call him villaine Exit Va. All thriues not well within me On my soule T' is but Conceipt I 'me hurt with feare Don Iohn Is my Close mortall enemy and perhaps Vnder the Cullor
my Lambe at home sir King Part and thus reckon neuer to see her more Cor. Neuer Tor. Neuer thus but thus a Princes whore Exeunt Cor. Thou dar'st not if thou do'st my heart is great Thus wrong'd thou canst doe little if not threat Gaz. Ha ha ha ha Cor. At what dost-laugh Gaz. At a thing of nothing at thee why shouldst thou be afraid to fall into the Cuckolds disease Cor. Because it makes a Doctor an Asse nothing can cure it are you answer'd Sir Gaz. Come th' art a foole to grieue that thy wife is taken away by the King to his priuate bed-chamber Now like a booke call'd in shee 'l sell better then euer she did Cor. Right sir but could he chuse no stocke to graft vpon but that which was planted in my nurserie Gaz. I le shew thee a reason for that Cor. Why Gaz. Leachers comming to women are like Mice amongst many Cheeses they taste euery one but feed vpon the best hornes rightly weigh'd are nothing Cor. How nothing oh sir the smallest Letters hurt your eyes most and the least head-ach which comes by a womans knocking hurts more then a cut to the scull by a mans knocking Gaz. Yet I warrant thou dar'st sweare the party 's honest Cor. Ha sweare not I no man durst euer sweare for his wife but Adam nor any woman for her husband but Eue fare you well sir Gaz. Whether art flying Cor. In peices dost not see I 'me shot out of a Cannon Exit Gaz. Downewards I le shoote thee but as Diuels vse I le tickle at thy tortures dance at thy stumbling Play with thee and then paw thee shalt make me merry The Crowne of blacke deeds that are hatcht in Hell Is to out-liue and laugh and all 's play'd well Exit Enter Clowne and Coxecombe Clo. I haue not pass'd by a Don to touch whose hand mine owne was neuer more troubled with a more terrible itch Cox I haue not met a Signior at whom mine owne eyes as if roasted enough did euer burne more in desire to flye out so that whether to recoyle or aduance on I am betweene Hawke and Buzzard Bil. The honey of sweet Complement so turne vp your Tuskes or Mochatoes that they be not too stiffe to brisle against my acquaintance Cox Your acquaintance is a Limbeck out of which runneth a perfum'd water bathing my nosthrils in a strong scent of your embracings are you of Court Signior Bil. No Signior of the City are you a Don of the Citie Cox No Signior of the Court City I smile Bil. Why Cox I assure you Signior you are to vs of the Court but Animals You are held but as shooing hornes to wait on great Lords heeles Bil. Let em pay vs what they owe then and pull on their shoes and wee 'll wait no more Cox You are our Apes Bil. But you are fuller of Apish-trickes Cox No sooner leape our Ladies into a fashion but your Wiues are ready to creepe into the same Bil. Why not for tho some of your Ladies invent the fashion some of our wiues husbands are neuer pay'd for the stuffe or making Cox Giue way with your poore scull to our oares for I tell thee Signior you of the city are the flatten milke of the kingdome and wee of the Court the Creame Bil. I tell thee Signior wee of the City eate none of your Court butter but some of your munch vp our flatten milk cheese Cox Be not too loud tho you are good ringers in the City for most of you haue bels at your doores Bil. Be not you too loud for you might be good singers at Court but that most of you are spoyled in learning your pricksong Cox Bee temporate I will shew you your City Cinquipace you beare sweare teare reare and weare you beare the Tanckerd sweare shop oathes teare money out of debtors throates reare rich estates weare good clothes but carry your Conscience in torne pockets Bil. Bee attentiue I will shew you your Court Coranto pace it consisteth of 5. bees and 3. cees you borrow of any man are braue on any termes brag at any hand to pay bellow at any that demands it bite any Catchpole that fangs you but carry neither Conscience nor coyne in your whole pockets Cox Tell mee Signior tell mee why in the City does a harmlesse signe hang at the doore of a subtill Nicodemus sitting in a shop Bil. And tell me Signior tell me why when you eate our good cheare i' th City haue you handsome wide chops but meeting vs at Court none your gumme 's glew'd vp your lips coap'd like a Ferret not so much as the corner of a Custard if a cold cup and a dry cheate loafe 't is well Cox Come come You are Acornes and your Sonnes the Prodigals that eate you vp Bil. Goe goe you are Prodigals and glad of the yellow Acornes we leaue our Sonnes Cox I will crosse my selfe when I owe money to a Citizen and passe by his doore Bil. I will blesse my selfe when a Courtier owing me no money comes neare my doore Cor. You are discended from the tanckerd generation Bil. You are ascended vp to what you are from the blacke Iacke and bumbard distillation Cox Deere Signior Bil. Delicious Don Exeunt Enter Don Iohn Ioh. Boy Pach. My Lord Ioh. Art sure thou saw'st the Admirall at Court Pach. Am I sure I see your Lordship in your gowne Ioh. And talking with the King Pach. Most familiarly Ioh. And what say the people about my committing to mine owne house Pach. The beast grinnes at it there 's a Libell already of you my Lord Ioh. A Libell away Pa. Yes faith my Lord and a Song to the tune of Lament Ladies Lament Ioh. I 'me glad the stinkards are so merry a halter on 'em it 's musick to them to haue euery man thrown off you haue seen the Kings Mistris boy haue you not what manner of peice is 't Pach. Troth my Lord I know not I neuer saw her shot off a pretty little pocket dag Ioh. What report giues she Pach. A very good report of her Husband but he giues an ill report of her Ioh. How does the Ladies take it now the King keepes a Wench vnder the Queenes nose Pach. They take it passing heauily it goes to the heart of some of them that he keepes not them too Ioh. I heard say they were all once leauing the Court Pach. True sir but there was a deuise which stopp'd 'em Ioh. Who are you Knocking within Val. My Lord we must speake with you Ioh. What are you fetch me a weapon Omn. Your friends King 'Sdeath breake it open Enter King Valasco and others Ioh. The King I did not vnderstand your Maiesty King You shall for I le speake plaine to you know you these Ioh. Not I King You doe not a Kings arme thou seest Has a long reach as farre as Portugall Can We fetch treason backe hatcht here by you Ioh. Me King Thee and the