them The childe will become wiser says Solomon by the chastisement of the culpable and of him who gives him evil example Prov. 21.11 Leave them not alone but as little as may be with the domesticks and especially with Lacquais and Foot-boys These kinde of persons to insinuate themselves and to get the favour of the children please them ordinarily with nothing but sottish follies and instill nothing into them but the love of play of divertisement and of vanity and are only capable to corrupt the best natures and such as are most inclinable to goodness St. Jerome after he had recommended to a Lady of quality to use great circumspection in the choice of such Maids as she was to take to accompany her Daughter and to ferve her counsels her not to suffer them to make any particular friendship with them but to hinder them from talking together in private and from making between themselves certain petty-mysteries of I know not how many things This great man knew the danger there is in leaving children to take too much liberty with all sorts of domesticks and how much it is to be dreaded that this familiarity should come at last to make them lose their Innocence 12. Maxims touching the freedom which is to be given to children to express their thoughts and their opinions THis advice of St. Paul ought to be well weighed Ephes 6.4 Fathers do not irritate your children by an over harsh carriage towards them and by using them with overmuch rigour but take care to educate them in the discipline and in the fear of our Lord lest as he adds in another place Coloss 3.2 they should fall into a discouragement of spirit and of heart Which is as if the Apostle had said Take heed of reprehending continually your children and of treating them with too much severity in small matters Do not your self oblige them by your rigour to wound the respect which they owe to you and by commanding them things of too great difficulty do not constrain them to disobey you They must be permitted when they are a little advanced in age to have the liberty to present unto you their reasons and their complaints nor ought you to treat them harshly when they fancy they are in some sort wronged by your way of proceeding with them Imitate the prudence of that charitable Father of whom it is said in the Gospel that seeing his eldest son highly offended at the manner of his receiving his younger son into his favour and having understood that for this cause he would not enter into the house went forth himself to entreat him to come in And that son having reproached him Luk. 15.29 That he had now served him many years without ever disobeying him in any thing he commanded and that nevertheless he had never bestowed on him a kid for the entertainment of his friends but that as soon as this his other son who had wasted his means among harlots was arrived he had slaughterd for him the fat calf This good Father far from being offended with his discourse strives on the contrary to sweeten his spirit with words full of tenderness and goodness Ib. v. 31.32 My son says he you are always with me and all that I have is yours but it was fit to make a feast and to rejoyce because your brother was dead and he is revived he was lost and he is found again See how this wise Father disdains not to justify his proceedings before his son and how he endeavours by the testimonies of charity and of the preference which he gives him to diminish the resentment and the indignation he had conceived against him and against his younger brother Behold what manner of proceeding you are to propose to your self since 't is that of God himself in regard of his children which Christ Jesus hath laid open to you under this parable Think not my Sister that it is from the authority which God hath given to Fathers and to Mothers over their Children not to make them to do what they desire of them but by the way of power and command nor that Children act always against the respect they owe to their Fathers and Mothers when they finde difficulty to approve all that they do or all that they say Children ought in many occasions to submit their lights to them of their Parents and to prefer their judgement before their own but 't is also the duty of Parents to communicate to their children those very lights to which they pretend they ought to subject themselves They ought to conduct them by truth and not by humour and fancy and they ought to gain their hearts by the love of that good which they desire to instill into them and not by captivating their will under the yoak of a command full of threats and of terrour St. Jerome speaking of the manner to educate children says that one must use severity with much prudence because the persons whom one treats over-severely seek with more eagerness than they do who are left to more liberty to divert and comfort themselves with the trifles of the world from the harsh usage to which they are enslaved 13. Maxims touching the patience wherewith Parents are to support their children and to moderate their resentments of injuries received from others 'T Is not enough for a Christian Father and a Christian Mother not to irritate their children by holding over them a too severe hand in things indifferent or which are not absolutely criminal they are moreover to be disposed to support patiently their greater disobediences and to suffer their greater outrages without suffering themselves to be transported to such resentments as would be no less dismal to themselves then to their children We have a proof convincing this truth in a dreadful history related by St. S. Aug. Serm. 31. de diversis l. 22. de civit chap. 8. Augustin in several of his works and which cannot be too often presented to Fathers and Mothers amidst the displeasures they receive from their Children There was in the Town of Caesarea in Cappadocia a widow of quality who had ten children to wit seven sons and three Daughters the eldest of all these children so far lost the respect he ought to his Mother that after he had loaded her with many injurious words he was so rash as to strike her His Brothers and his Sisters were witnesses of this outrage not only without opposing themselves but even without speaking one sole word in defence of their Mother This poor Woman having her heart pearced with sorrow for so great an injury and suffering her self to proceed in the resentment of the affront she had received took a resolution to lay her curse upon her wretched son who had so highly offended her Hereupon she goes forth of her at day-break to pronounce this imprecation against him upon the sacred Font of Baptism The Devil presented himself to her in her way under the form
entire Obedience I promise by him who lives eternally that I will give him no share in my goods but that I wholly disinherit him for ever The Church believed these vows of Fathers and Mothers so advantagious to children that she obliged the said children to observe them all their life There was no difference put between the destroying of ones self and the going forth of a Monastery after they had made this manner of engagement and the children had scarcely need of any other Profession than this solemn promise by which they were consecrated to God Whence it is The 4. Council of Toledo that in the 4th Council of Toledo it is said that whether a person is engaged in a Monastery by the devotion of his Parents or by his own choice he is always obliged to stay there nor is it permitted him to return to the world And that according to St. Isidore he who is placed in a Monastery by his Father and his Mother is to know that he is bound to remain there the rest of his life There was nothing unjust nor over-rigorous in this proceeding but on the contrary it was full of justice and highly advantagious to the children For if according to the rules of law a Father may in case of extreme necessity sell his son and make him for ever a slave to men in order to preserve a temporal life why shall it not be permitted by the rules of the Gospel to the same Father to offer his children to God and to procure for them a true liberty by engaging them to his service upon the design of procuring for themselves as well as for them an eternal life and happiness What is there in this action on the Fathers side which is not holy and conformable to his duty This Sacrifice being made with a most sincere intention and with a piety altogether disinteressed was it not a convincing proof that he had changed the natural love which Parents have for their children into a Charity totally Divine that he had surmounted that so common a desire which men have to conserve their Name and their Family particularly when they have but one only Child and that they possess much Wealth Finally that he had renounced those so sweet comforts which Parents feel in the conversation of their own children On the childrens side is this engagement to Religion to be dreaded Is not the yoak of Christ Jesus easy and his burden light especially to children who have not yet been sullied with any vice who have not yet been corrupted by any evil customes who from their cradle have been formed to Virtue who have been trained up in Piety who have had nothing but good examples before their eyes who have sucked as one may say together with the Milk the Rules of Christian Sanctity and who not knowing the world have had no share in its delights and vanities But however holy and laudable this practice was we must nevertheless grant my Sister that the Church hath with great wisdom limited the devotion of Parents She hath considered that what was formerly the effect of a great and sincere devotion was somtimes scarcely any more than an effect of avarice and cupidity that Parents oftentimes in these days sought not so much in placing their children in Monasteries to give them to God as to discharge themselves of those children to render the others richer and better provided for in the world And so she hath stopped by her laws their authority and set bounds to their power because they on the one side made it serve their ambition and on the other side oppressed the liberty of their own Children Yet she hath not bereaved them of the power to place them in their tender age in Monasteries to have them there educated and to put them in a state by this happy retrait to march on both more couragiously and more swiftly and also with less danger towards Heaven supposing they have no other end in this action than his glory and the salvation of their children and that they offer them to Monastries in an indifference of their being Religious or returning to the world as it shall please God to dispose of them But in this last practise there are two principal things to be observed in order to follow therein the spirit of the Church The first is the choice of the Monastery For Parents would be so far from procuring their childrens salvation that they would endanger their destruction if they took no care in placing them in Religious Houses to see whether those Houses are indeed Religious and whether they there will not engage their children to embrace their institute by perswasions which are altogether humane and by a spirit which is totally opposite to that of God Wherein it is so much more important that Parents suffer not themselves to be deceived by how much the least negligence would be very criminal before God in a matter of so great consequence The Second thing which Parents ought to observe is That when their children are in a house truly Religious and of a solid and disinteressed piety they draw them not forth of it to return to the World lest by taking them for a time from Christ Jesus who demands them to sanctify them they should give them to the world which demands them to corrupt them I know they want not specious pretexts for this they say that a true vocation must be tried that grace will triumph amidst the conflicts that a Resolution which is from God cannot be shaken either by the life of the world or by the lustre of Riches and that the prudence of the Holy Ghost when it is in a soul cannot be deceived by the cunnings of the spirit of darkness But I also know Sister that it is said in holy Scripture That he who seeks and loves danger shall perish in it and that consequently one cannot without a very great blindness bring back into the middle of the world such children as have been holily separated from it and fancy that they cannot be sanctified in a Cloyster unless the world could not have force enough to corrupt them God will have us try our selves but not put our selves into the hands of the World and of the Devil to try our selves He on the contrary commands us to fly from the mortal Enemies of our salvation for fear of falling into their snares to save our selves in the solitude for fear to perish with Babylon and to hide the treasure which we have found for fear lest in shewing it the Devil who seeks incessantly to take his advantages should take it away from us The Prudence of Gods holy spirit cannot be deceived but it leaves us and abandons us when we quit his house and the place where he cleared and enlightned us to enter into a place of darkness and of crimes And if the Charity which is in us could not be extinguished the Apostle would not advertise us not
THE Christian Education OF CHILDREN According To the Maxims of the Sacred Scripture and the Instructions of the Fathers of the Church Written and several times Printed in French and now Translated into English At Paris By John Baptist Coignard at the Golden Bible in S. James's-street 1678. With Approbation THE Authours Address TO HIS SISTER My Dearest Sister SInce God would so have it that I should partake with you of the goods of Nature and that our common Birth permits us not to have any thing of Particular in the advantages of the World I hope he will please to accept the desire I have to extend this right to the Goods of Grace and that he will approve-of my making you partaker of what I could gather in the Books of the Church whereby I have reserved nothing from a person whom he hath rendred so dear unto me Nor can I believe that the World it self notwithstanding that it is accustomed to disapprove the doings of them who have abandoned it can condemn this For if people take it not amiss that such as love one another by motives of Interest and for the Goods of this life should make use of these Goods to give pledges of their love to one another why should it be any wonder that they who are linked together by a friendship which is totally disengaged from the Senses should employ Spiritual things to testify reciprocally to each other their true affection Imagine not therefore my Sister that this Book is the effect barely of a natural Love which gives me entrance into all your Interests I am excited to write unto you by more holy and more powerful motives it is no longer lawful for me to act meerly by them of Nature And having drained all that this Work includes from the Well of the Sacred Scripture and from the Writings of the Fathers of the Church I may assure you that I have the least share therein You therefore are not to make any Reflection upon him who presents it unto you but apply it to your self singly for the enriching of your Soul with the Virtues which are here discovered unto you and which God demands of a Christian Mother Consider that you can give him no greater proofs of your Love and of your Fidelity than to bring up your Children according to the Laws of the Gospel and the Counsels of the Fathers of the Church and that you cannot offer to him a sacrifice which will better please him than to consecrate them to him by a holy Education since they are the better part of your self nor is there any thing which can more move him to pour forth upon you and upon them his blessings than the care you shall take to instruct them in his Fear and in his Love and to let all the World see by engaging them to imitate their Heavenly Father that you look upon them as his Children 'T is to help you in this laudable designe that I have begged of our Lord Jesus Christ so much light as was necessary for me to observe in the sacred Scriptures and in the Volumes of the Fathers of the Church those Maxims which ought to be followed in the Education of children that I have instantly besought him to inspire me with such choice Advices as he would have me draw from thence to propose them to you if he would please to make use of me altogether unworthy as I am to give you the knowledge of what your children stand in need of and of his designs upon you and upon them Consider then if you please this little Work as a Collection of what is most holy and most pure in the Doctrine of the Church touching the Subject it treats on I have done no more than joyn the passages to one another And if there are some Propositions the Authours whereof are not cited it is because they were included in the Principles which I have established upon the authorities of these great Saints Nothing now remains but to send up to God my Prayers that what I have done to discharge my Conscience may not make yours criminal but rather that he will effect by his Grace that by putting in practise these wholsome Maxims and Advices which I offer you you may happily experience that which St. Jerome avers That the health and happiness of Children turns to the Glory and to the Advantage of their Fathers and Mothers THE Authours Advice TO THE READER THis Treatise of the Christian Education of Children was Composed Eight or Nine Years since by a Church-man for one of his Sisters who was engaged in Marriage He only proposed to himself in composing it to assist that person in particular and to instruct her how she should worthily acquit her self in one of the principal Obligations of the estate to which God had called her which was to bring up her Children in the Fear and love of God But in process of time this Treatise having been seen by several of his Freinds who judged it very proper to be made publick the Respect and Submission he had to their Opinion obliged him to apply himself to render it fit for all Parents Hereupon he added several Advices and many Maxims which he conceived might be to them profitable and in general he endeavoured to accomodate to all sorts of conditions and to all manner of persons whatever is herein contained He hath moreover studied to present to all Fathers and to all Mothers certain Rules which they may observe in the several ages of their Children and it may be said That if they apply themselves as they ought to the Truths proposed to them in this Book they shall finde all that can contribute to render their Childrens Education conformable to the Rules of the Gospel They who are not yet engaged in Marriage may here also learn with what spirit they ought to undertake that State of life and how great difficult and sublime are the Obligations thereof They who have renounced the State of Marriage to embrace that of Religion may here finde great subjects to praise God in that he hath not permitted them to enter into a condition wherein it is so hard to acquit themselves of their duty Finally all they who are encharged with the Education of Children and who consequently do hold the Places of Fathers and of Mothers over them shall here sinde the lights and succours which are necessary to acquit themselves as they ought Some perhaps will judge that we have too much descended into particulars in some places but the Authour conceived that his designe being to prescribe Rules not of Speculation but of Practise he could not enter too far into the particulars and that he himself ought to make some application of the Maxims he proposes to the end they might more easily be reduced into Practise by such as have a minde to follow them in the conduct of their Family It is to be hoped that God will bestow his blessing upon this
which he would have with the Church by rendring her his Body Must we not then aver after this great Apostle Ephes 3.32 That surely Marriage is a holy Institution in Christ Jesus and in his Church and that it is honourable in all Heb. 1.4 that is to say as the holy Fathers explicate it in all its parts Yes my Sister you ought to have a high esteem of the state to which God hath called you because in like manner as it was he who having drawn Eve from the side of Adam our first Father gave her to him for his Spouse 't is also he who by his invisible hand hath tyed the knot of the sacred cord of your Marriage and who gave you to your Husband You ought to do it because God intending to multiply Souls which may bless and praise him to all Eternity hath done you the favour to make choice of you to cooperate by the production of your Children and by their Education to so great a work You ought to do it because Christ Jesus by his presence at the Marriage of Cana in Galilee has sanctified all them which are to be celebrated among Christians You ought finally to do it not only because there are so many holy persons in the Old and New Testament who have lived most faintlike in Marriage but also because the Mother of Christ Jesus the most pure and most innocent of all creatures was engaged in the bonds of that indissoluble alliance which you have contracted In such sort that if by the Vow of Virginity which she made before the Angelical Salutation she was as S. Augustine relates the model of all the Virgins who were to come after her S. August lib de Virginitate c 4. Lib. 5. contra Julianum c. 22. she was no less in the opinion of the same holy Father the example of Married persons by espousing St. Joseph and by powerfully insinuating unto them by her prudent conduct that Marriage ceases not truly to subsist although by mutual consent they should propose to themselves to live in a holy Continence But above all my Sisters you ought to esteem your self happy in that your Marriage is the Sacrament and the image of that of Christ Jesus with his Church in that he hath permitted you and even ordained you to consider your Husband as the Church doth Christ Jesus to have for him all the tenderness and all the Submission you are capable of as the Church hath for Christ Jesus to leave your self to be conducted by his Spirit as the Church leaves her self to be conducted by the Spirit of Christ Jesus to enter into all his affections into all his sentiments to partake with him of all his pains all his afflictions as the Church doth them of Christ Jesus and not to wear outward Ornaments nor make use of affected dresses but as far forth as he permits you as the Church hath no more splendour and glory than what Christ Jesus communicates unto her Now if the Patriarks and the Israelites esteemed themselves very much honoured in having Children because the people of God were thereby much augmented that they hoped the Messias might be born of their blood and that they might perhaps have the advantage of affording him a Father or a Mother what Glory may not you expect by furnishing to Jesus Christ subjects of his Mercies and by putting into the World Children who may become the Members and the Brothers of the Son of God However you will merit this Glory my Sister and at the same time will acquit your self of the principal Duties of the state wherein you are ingaged if you apply your self seriously to give your Children a truly Christian and Holy Education having first laid aside the false Lights and pernicious Errours which are the cause why the major part of Fathers and Mothers neglect the Education of their Children and that they have no other Idea's than such as are altogether Carnal and as remote from the excellency of the estate to which they are called as Heaven is from Earth CHAP. II. That the Education of Children is one of the most considerable employs of Christianism And of the first Errour which makes it to be neglected which is the mean Idea Parents have of the Christian Life THat which makes Parents conceive ordinarily a low Idea of the Education of their Children is that they themselves have a very mean Idea of the Christian Life And thus as the Life they propose to lead hath nothing of hard and painful because it is all low and carnal they do not also apprehend any great difficulties in the conduct of children because they have not for them any more noble more heroick aims than they have for themselves It is therefore necessary in order to know what it is to Educate Children Christianly that it be understood in the first place what it is to live Christianly and above all it is necessary to be rid of an Illusion which deceives the greatest part of the World perswading it self that none but Religious Persons are called to Sanctity and that the common Life of Christians hath nothing that is labourious or painful To convince you of the contrary it sufficeth my Sister to make you observe that the state of Christianism is a state of Sanctity and of Innocency that all they who make profession thereof ought according to the express words of the Gospel to be perfect as their Heavenly Father is perfect Mat. 3.48 and as * Chrysost cont vit vitae Mon. l. 3. St. Chrysostome well observes that there ought to be no other difference between the Religious and them who live in the World but only that these engage themselves in the bonds of Marriage whereas the Religious conserve all their Liberty and have great advantages above Married persons for the more easy accomplishment of the promises of Baptism And that no doubt may remain in your spirit concerning this point and that you may entirely banish from thence this first Errour which causes all the irregularities that slide into the manners of Christians I will here simply translate what this great Doctor of the Greek Church hath written in one of his Works which he adresses to a faithful Father of Children This great Saint after he had made appear that persons engag'd in the world are no less obliged than the Religious to observe exactly the Commandements of Christ Jesus which he hath given us in the Gospel because there is no distinction in the Words and that for example he hath absolutely forbidden to Swear or to behold the Wife of ones Neighbour with criminal desires concludes that all the other Precepts of the Gospel which are not addressed to one particular estate which is there expressed extend themselves commonly to all the world and that by consequence our Saviour having declared in general that true Happiness consists in Poverty of Spirit and in Tears in the Hunger and Thirst after Justice
of the Virtues which you perhaps have neglected If Christ Jesus hath lost in you some of his rights and dues let him finde them in them If you cannot have the glory of Virginity have at least the advantage of being Mother to a Virgin If you have not loved your God with all your heart procure that he be loved by all them who depend on you Let the innocence and the Sanctity of your children be opposed to the errours of your life and let their fidelity and their Submission to his Commandements extenuate your Unfaithfulnesse and Disobedience St. Ambrose puts all these sentiments into the mouth of a Christian Mother whom he introduces thus exhorting her Daughters to Virginity You may says this Holy Mother to her children justifie your Father and discharge your Mother before God by making appear in your conduct those graces which we have perchance neglected or whereof we have made bad use The only thing which may hinder us from repenting our selves of our Marriage is to see you draw some profit from the labours we have endured and I shall esteem my self almost as happy to be a Mother of Virgins as if I my self had preserved Virginity Consider my Daughters who she was whom the Son of God coming into the World to redeem it chose for his Mother She was a Virgin Thus it is my Daughters that I wish the purity of your life may repair the defects of mine And in the first Book which this Holy Doctor made for the Instruction of Virgins addressing his speech to Fathers and Mothers You have understood says he to them what are the Virtues which you ought to teach your Daughters to practise and what Rules you are to follow in their Education A Virgin is a gift the most pleasing one we can offer to God and the richest Present which Parents can make to his Divine Majesty 't is a sacred Hostie the Sacrifice whereof being dayly renewed renders God propitious towards the Mother who presents it Do not therefore propose to your self my Sister any thing that is mean or indifferent in the Education of your Children since you your self are so much interessed therein and that even the cries and tears of your children in the cradle intercede for you with God and pray for you as St. Jerome avers writing to a Roman Dame concerning her Daughter You have already seen the strict Obligation which all Christians have to tend to the highest perfection let therefore your principal care be to bring your children to it and let it be your only ambition to make them great Saints They are as so many living and precious stones wherewith God designes to build the celestial Jerusalem and according as they shall be found more fair better polished and fitlier wrought and prepared they shall be put in a place more eminent and you from them shall derive greater glory They are in your house as statues of Gold which you ought to form and embellish every day if you desire they should represent perfectly their true Modell which is Christ Jesus and that they should be his true Images They are the Dwelling houses and the Tabernacles chosen by God for his habitation and therefore take heed as St. John Chrysostom advises lest by your fault the Temple of God be turned into a retreat of Thieves and that Christ Jesus should give to you the same reproach which he gave to the Jews Know proceeds this Father that the hearts of your children become the retreats of thieves when you permit base and servile desires to possess them and irregular concupiscences to master them For 't is these sorts of affections which more cruel and more dangerous than theives ravish from them the liberty which grace gave them and which after they have pierced them through on all sides and covered them with most dangerous wounds reduce them into the slavery of Passions and vices Wherefore I conjure you my Sister to form a resolution without delay to proceed in such sort as that your children fall not into this accursed servitude Propose to your self to do all you possibly can to conserve them in the Innocence and in the grace they received in Baptism And since by your offering them to the Church you tacitly obliged your self to make them keep the pact and bargain they made with God in that Sacrament have alway that engagement before your eyes and seek incessantly in Prayer in reading and particularly in leading a good life such graces as are necessary for you in order to acquit your self faithfully of this your Duty which is the greatest and holiest of the World CHAP. VII What Idea's or Forms they ought to propose to themselves for their Imitation in the Christian Education of Children I Cannot better assist you my Sister in this enterprise than by proposing to you some Model which you may follow and upon which you may fix your eyes to conduct you securely in a design wherein 't is so hard a matter to succeed well This Model is no other than God himself For if Fathers and Mothers in production of their children express an Image of his fruitfulness is it not just that they should propose to themselves for the prime Idea of the Education of these same Children the conduct which this Celestial Father holds in regard of all men I stay not upon this that the cares of his Providence respect only the interests of our Souls nor upon that that God proposes for the end of all his works to put us in possession of eternal happiness I entreat you only to observe what hath been his conduct in regard of the Jewish people whom all the Fathers after St. Paul look upon as in an estate of Infancy and Puerility in respect of Christians whom Grace according to St. St. Chrysost upon Galat. ch 4. Chrysostome hath rendred ripe in years Behold the care God takes to retire that people out of Egypt to separate them from Idolaters and to interdict them from all commerce with strangers lest their Example or their Doctrine should corrupt and pervert them He gives them his Law and his Commandements He inspires them with a holy horrour if we may say so of his greatnesses and of his Majesty to the and they should fear to offend him He rigorously chastises their least Infidelities and their sinallest Disobediences And out of the care he hath to make them acknowledge that 't is he alone who supplies all their necessities who protects them against all their enemies and who affords them all the goods they possess he endeavours to make them enter into the feelings of love and gratitude for his bounty and into an humble submission to the orders of his Divine Wisdom and Will He instructs them in the most hidden truths and in all the Mysteries of Christ Jesus But he instructs them as Children that is by presenting only shadows unto them and Figures and by making them to practice after a gross manner and
of her husbands brother who was Uncle to her children and questions her whether she was now going she answered that she went to lay a curse upon her eldest Son because of the insupportable injury he had done to her then that accursed fiend who had no difficulty to finde an entrance into the heart of this Mother which the spirit of revenge and of anger had opened unto him perswades her to extend her malediction upon all her other children since their silence rendred them no less criminalls than their eldest brother This Woman therefore suffering her self to be enflamed with choler against all her children by that envenomed counsells of this tempter comes to clip and embrace the Baptismal Font spreads abroad her hair discovers her breast and demands of God in this posture that he will revenge her of all her children in such a manner as that they may bear about them over all the earth the marks of the chastisement laid upon them for the outrage she received from them and that they may imprint by their example a terrour into the spirits of all people Her prayer was heard so speedily that her eldest son was struck at the same instant with a horrible trembling in all the Members of his body and within less then one year all her other children were punished with the same chastisement one after another according to the order of their birth Then this unfortunate Mother perceiving her curses to have been so efficacious and being no longer able to support the reproaches which her conscience suggested to her of her impiety nor the confusion which she suffered before the world for permitting her self to be transported to so great an extremity strangled her self and ended her accursed life by a death yet more accursed St. Augustin upon the occasion of one of these children whose name was Paul and who had been miraculously cured having caused to be read to his people the recital which this young man had made of this History as I have now told it and making reflections upon the circumstances which accompany it exclaims Aug. serm 32 de diversis Let children learn from this example to respect their Fathers and their Mothers and let Fathers and Mothers fear to fall into choler against their children 'T is said in sacred Writ That the blessing of a Father establishes the House and that the curse of a Mother roots it up even to the foundations This we see accomplished in these accursed children who being at this present vagabonds over all the earth have no establishment in their own countrey and who not only serve for a dreadful spectacle to all men but also by presenting their punishment and their misery to the eyes of all them who look upon them should above all affright proud children who fail in their duty towards them who brought them into the world Learn then O children to render unto your Fathers and Mothers according to what is commanded you in the sacred Scripture the respect and the honour which is due to them But you Fathers and Mothers remember when your children offend you that you are Fathers and that you are Mothers This unhappy Mother invoked God against her children and she was heard because God is truly just and because she had been truly offended True it is that there was but one only among them who had injuriously struck her and the other had only been silent in this occasion or had not uttered a word in her defence But surely God is just who heard her prayer and who gave ear to the expressions which grief put into her mouth All this while what shall we say of this poor Mother Was not she her self punished by God with so much more rigour by how much she was heard more readily and more conformably to her own desires 'T is thus my Sister that this great Saint believed that God permitted this Mother should make so unhappy an end after she had abandoned her self to such choler against her children to teach Fathers and Mothers not to suffer themselves to be transported easily to such resentments although most just in appearance and not easily to lay their malediction upon their children however so reasonable a cause they may seem to have for so doing and never to implore the succour of God against them during the violence of their indignation for fear lest God hearing the prayers which grief drew from their hearts and granting to them the things which passion alone inspired them to demand of him the revenge which they call down upon their childrens heads falls not upon their own and hurry them not on to despair when the heat being passed over and the feeling of nature having got the upper hand they shall perceive themselves to have been the cause of the misery and ruine into which their wretched children are reduced And this reflexion ought to make so much the deeper impression in the spirit of Fathers and Mothers because this miserable Mother we have here spoken of was in desperate hazzard of being damned for all eternity for having suffered her self to be transported to that excess of revenge against her children whereas the said children were not punished for the fault they committed against her but only during this life and that God afforded mercy to the major part of them at the instant prayers and importunities of holy men to whom they had recourse in their affliction as was seen in two of them who were recovered in one at Hippo and in another of them at Revenna 14. Maxims touching the Equality which Parents are to keep among their Children IF God gives you many children take care to unite them in perfect friendship with one another let the younger respect the elder let the elder condescend to the younger as being yet less rational and make in every thing appear so just an equality in the marks of love and tenderness towards them that they may have no manner of jealousie against one another The only embroidered robe which Jacob gave to Joseph was cause of the hatred his Brethren conceived against him and that they hatched the design to take away his life Upon which St. Ambrose makes this pithy reflexion It very frequently falls out that the affection of Parents is hurtful to their children when it stays not within the limits of a just moderation and this happens when either through an over-great goodness they pardon their faults or that testifying more love to some than to others they extinguish by this preference that fraternal affection which should keep them united in friendship The greatest advantage which a Father can procure to one of his children is to leave him the love of his Brethren As Fathers and Mothers cannot exercise a more glorious liberality towards their children so also the children cannot receive from their Fathers and Mothers a more rich Inheritance than that It is just that nature rendring them equal the favour of them who gave
she exclaims I am sometimes seized with an astonishment when I consider the evils which come from bad companies nor could I believe it had not I my self proved it by a sad experience 'T is principally during the time of youth that this evil is most dangerous and this makes me wish that Fathers and Mothers would make their profit by the example of my faults to hinder by their care the like accidents For t is but too true that the familiarity I had with that person did so change me as that it left in my soul no sign of the good nature nor of the virtues which were there before and it seems to me that she and one other who lived in the same way of folly imprinted in my heart their wicked inclinations You see my Sister by the example and by the Words of this holy woman how reserved you ought to be in giving access to persons into your childrens familiarity although their alliance and nearness of blood permits you not to exclude them from your house and how you must never suffer that under this pretext of parentage your children should contract a strict friendship with children who are not brought up in the fear of God which you strive to inspire into yours Above all take care that your Daughters go not forth of the house without you and it were to be wished that they went not abroad but only for things absolutely necessary The sole example of Dina Genes 34. who for having once only gone forth of her Fathers house to take a view of the Daughters of the Town of Sichem was forced away to the excessive grief of her Father Jacob and of all her Brethren may suffice to make you apprehend the gadding abroad of your Daughters and to oppose your self against any design they may have of contracting acquaintance with strangers that is with such as have their spirits filled with vanity and who have not been educated as yours according to the spirit of Christianism 19. Maxims touching the care which is to be taken to induce children to do what they ought to their Fathers TAke great care in particular that your children shew much respect to their Father that they love him that they honour him and that they fear him Never pardon their least disobedience to his orders Suffer them not to speak otherwise to him then with submission and respect He who obeys his Father gives much joy and comfort to his Mother says the Scripture Eccle. 3.7 St. Paul says That women must be submitted to their Husbands in all things Ephes And they ought to be so says St. Chrysostom because when they are in good intelligence their children are well educated their Domesticks are well instructed their Freinds and Neighbours are marvellously edified In fine the quality of head which is proper to the Husband and which he bears in regard of his wife makes it sufficiently appear that 't is for him to watch over his actions to govern by his prudence the whole family and to give out his orders for the conduct of all the members which compose it And this is it which the illustrious Authour of the letter to Celancia endeavoured particularly to insinuate unto her It must be in the first place says this great man Letter to Celancia that the authority remains entirely in your husband and that all your family may learn by your example what honour and respect they owe him you must therefore by your obedience make it known that he is the Master your humility must raise him and your submissions must make him to be respected by all the rest because your self will be so much more honoured by how much you render to him more honour For the man according to the Apostle is the head of the woman and the body can never appear well adorned unless its head be well dressed which moves him to say elsewhere speaking to women that they must be submitted to their husbands for the love of our Lord as they are obliged to be and the Apostle St. Peter 1 Pet. c. 3. Wives be ye submitted to your husbands to the end that if there are any who believe not the preaching of the Word they may be gained without the Word by the good life of their wives considering the purity in which you live and the respectful fear you have for them If then the law of Marriage obliges wives to render honour to their husbands even when they are Infidels it surely obliges them yet more strictly when they are Christians If this is true my Sister as to the least duties of the civil life it is much more as to what concerns the children And by consequence you ought in this point as in all things to act as much as possibly you can jointly with your husband Bless our Lord for having given you a person who will never oblige you to follow the irregularities which are crept into the World but who on the contrary will take care according to the counsel of St. Jerome that the very cloathes of his children may make them know him to whose service they were engaged by the vows of Baptism But if as says the same Author a Lady of very high birth was reprehended with much severity by an Angel St. Jerome Ep. ad Letam for having presumed that she might not displease her Husband to frizzel the hair of her little Niece and to trick her up a la mode if for having caused her to wear Pearls and Diamonds according to her condition but not according to the spirit of Christianism God took away from her by death both her husband and her children and made appear by so suddain and so extraordinary a chastisement how great an aversion he hath against them says this great Doctour who violate his Temples by profane ornaments and that his Divine Majesty so much detests and abhors them have you not cause to tremble and dread the just judgements of God if you bring up your children according to the fashion of the world against the will of him whose sentiments you have espoused by espousing his person and if you surprize his Religion his Freindship to oblige him to condescend to the sentiments of vanity which you desire to follow CHAP. X. Important Advices for the Christian Education of Children 1. Advice Concerning the Excesses and the Ornaments of the World THe love of worldly Ornaments and braveries is in it self a great evil says St. John Chrysostom S. Chrys. Hom. 10. in Epist ad Colos. c. 4. even although it should cause no other disorder than the adhesion to those vanities and although they might be used without scandal and without hurting the conscience 'T is for this reason my Sister that Tertullian S. Cyprian S. Jerome and all the other Fathers of the Church could not hinder themselves from sighing from complaining and from uttering the zeal wherewith they were animated when they beheld how Christian women were loaden
greater part of our Entertainments and Divertisements Children accustome themselves to behold and to imitate these disorders this custome passes into nature and these unfortunate wretches learn to commit these irregularities even before they are capable to comprehend their excess and their enormity I think Sister that Christians cannot hear a Pagan discourse thus without blushing that they should have less feeling of these disorders than he had or that they should not make it appear they had better apprehensions thereof by their practise Will you then acquit your self well of your Duty and bring up your children as St. Paul ordains in the Fear and in the Discipline of our Lord live you your self in this Fear and in this Discipline Practise meekness and humility that you may render them more docible and submissive Let the respect you have for all the proceedings of your Husband teach them to honour him and to fear him Let your modesty in your cloathes and dresses instill into them an aversion from all worldly vanities Let the humanity wherewith you command your domesticks teach them to treat them civilly Finally be you such towards God as you would have your children be to him and to your self and forget not these words of our Saviour Luk. 9.41 If any one is a cause of Scandal and of falling to one of these ltttle ones who believe in me it were better for him to have a Mill-stone made fast to his neck and that he were cast into the Sea The Fourth Means Prayer IT would be a small matter for a Christian Mother to give holy Instructions to her children to cause them to reade good Books and to practise before their eyes what she would have them to practise if she applies not her self seriously to Prayer and if she endeavours not by little and little to render them capable to entertain themselves with God and to ruminate in his presence what they have been told what they have read and what they have seen practised with edification that so they may reap their profit by them I know that they have taken up in the world a certain Idea of Mental Prayer which makes them imagine that it is an exercise too hard and too high for many people and that it is only proper for such persons as have made already a large progress and are greatly advanced in the spiritual life They fancy it to be as it were a humane Art and as an effect of curiosity and of presumption and as soon as one mentions meditation they represent to themselves Methods divisions and a multitude of Discourses and thoughts which require a great contention of spirit Yet surely this manner of prayer demands only the Heart It is the most natural occupation of Piety and of Faith and the proper effect of the feelings one ought to have on the one side of Gods greatness and on the other side of ones own weakness necessitie and misery so that the simplest persons and the very children are capable thereof assoon as they begin to use their reason and to be sensible of their own wants For in how many different manners do they express themselves even in their very Infancy to make their Fathers and their Mothers and such other persons as govern them understand their wants and their pains How ingenious are they to explicate their joys their sadnesses their inclinations and their aversions Make they not use of divers crys of different accents of the voice and of various motions of the body to discover the thought and the desire of their Hearts And do they not render with a marvellous dexterity all these signes as conformable as they can to their wills to the end they may become intelligible Every thing speaks in their little Body their Eyes their Gestures their Laughter and their Tears Finally know they not how by an hundred different ways to get what they desire and even to force them that resist it to yeild at last and to grant it them Why then as they encrease in age and as their spirit opens it self may one not endeavour to teach them to ask of God what they stand in need of and to ask it of him in that strong and perswasive manner in which the heart knows how to explicate it self and how to make known its affections and its motions St. Augustin relates S. Aug. l. 1. Conf. c. 9. n. 2.3 that among the exercises of his Infancy having met with certain servants of God who invoked him in their Prayers and having learned of them as far forth as he was capable to frame some Idea of God that he was something very great and sublime and that although he was concealed from our senses he could hear our Prayers and help us in our needs he began very Childe as he was to implore his assistance and to address himself unto him as to his refuge and to his place of security I learned says he raising up himself to God and taught my stammering tongue to invoke you although I was little the affection wherewith I prayed you to hinder that I might not be whipped in the School was not little For it is true that I no less apprehended the chastisements and the punishments which I received from my Masters than Men apprehend the greatest torments and that they beg not with greater instance to be delivered from them than I conjured you to remove from me these torments of little Children Behold Sister how advantagious this encounter with these men of Prayer was to this great Saint and how children in their low age are capable to address themselves to God and to demand of him with eagerness what they desire when they are taught to conceive as far forth as they are able that it is from him alone they ought to expect it The same Saint speaking of a sickness he had in his Infancy and which they believed had brought to deaths door attributes the fervour and the faith wherewith he demanded to receive Baptism Aug. l. 1. Conf. chap. 11. to that which he had heard spoken of the eternal life which was promised to us by the mystery of the Incarnation of Christ Jesus and to the care his Mother had assoon as she had brought him into the World to cause him to be marked with the sign of the Cross upon the forehead and to put him afterwards into the number of the Cathecumens So true it is that Truth makes very strong impressions in the hearts of children when one knows how to accomodate it to their capacity and mildely and familiarly to engage them to employ themselves before God and to demand of him grace to love him Thus Sister when children finde difficulty in learning their lessons they are to be made to comprehend as far as they are capable that Wit and Knowledge comes from God and that it is to him they must address themselves in the difficulties they have in their studies When they shew any violent Passion
Mothers endeavour to follow it Mothers I say who ought as much as they possibly can to instill into their Children this holy custom of frequent prayer and to have always at hand these excellent Words of St. Augustin to that holy Widow of whom we have formerly spoken S. Aug. ep ad Probam The more you labour to govern holily your house the more you ought to employ your self diligently in prayer without embusying your self in the affairs of the World and in exteriour things but only as far forth as Charity engages you CHAP. XIV What is most opposite to the Application of these Maxims and of these Advices in the Christian Education of Children THere are two things particularly which hinder Fathers and Mothers from following the Maxims of the Gospel and the Advices of the Fathers of the Church in the Education of their Children to wit Custom and Ambition The First although most commonly it hath no more lawful foundation than the disorder of Inferiours and the remissness of Superiours makes it self nevertheless to be followed by all the world It gains the heart and the spirit of them who most resist it and as S. S. Augustin Augustin excellently says it choaks Christians and stifles in them the most tender feelings of piety by the very example of Christians The Second transports the spirits of men to seek after the goods of the World It serves it self of the natural desire we have of glory to make us seek it in the estate of a high fortune And at the same time when Custome hinders parents from following the Evangelical Maxims in the Education of their children by instilling contrary principles into them Ambition withdraws them from them by applying all their thoughts and all their affections to the temporal settlement of their children Here it is that I pray you to observe the cunning of the Devil to deceive us and what art he makes use of to destroy us Parents cannot chuse but labour in the Education of their children and it is a feeling which is too natural to them not to be inclined thereto even with some sort of violence He will not therefore fight openly against it and labour to destroy it but he dexterously turns this inclination towards an end which is altogether carnal and terrestriall and shutting their eyes against the lights of Reason and Faith he presents to them a false day-light which causes them to make a thousand false steps I would say which engages them by humane respects to follow in the Education of their children the ayr of the World and the Rules which worldly corruption hath introduced Resolve therefore my Sister to renounce all that the world approves and to enter upon thoughts opposite to them which the World inspires into its bond-slaves You will finde no difficulty to follow this counsel if you reade the 15. and the 17. Chapter of St. John John ch 15. and c. 17. where Christ Jesus instils into his Disciples so strong an aversion from the world that in good truth I think one cannot believe the Gospel and live without trembling in the esteem and approbation of the world Now when I tell you that you ought to dread nothing more than to live according to the World think not that I pretend you should having children leade a solitary life and break all the customs which Blood and Friendship permit unto you whilst you live upon earth 'T is not that which Christ Jesus demands of a person engaged as you are in Marriage I desire only that you keep in your discourses and in all your proceedings so great a modesty so great a reservedness and so perfect a sweetness that your sole exteriour may condemn all the Vanities and all the pomps of the World I desire that entring into company they who are so gorgeously cloathed may blush at your simplicity and that your modest dress may give them a confusion in their excesses I desire that your children may be cherished by all the world by reason of the Innocence and the piety you have instilled into them that all Fathers and all Mothers should envy your happiness because of their obedience and that they be not sought for in Marriage but because of their Virtue and their Modesty Finally I desire that your house should be so well regulated and your domesticks so well instructed that all things with you may breathe nothing but Piety and Honesty and as St. S. Chrysost Chrysostom says that your house in particular may be as it were a little draught and an image of the whole Church For this end Sister you must unfetter your self by little and little from all creatures not studying to scrape up wealth for your children you must not rob the poor of their due to content your covetousness and to bereave your Children of the protection of God who is their true Father If our Lord himself builds not a House in vain says the prophet Psal 126.1 they labour who strive to raise it up To raise it extremely high is to seek its ruine Prov. 17.17 And he who governs himself by a spirit of Avarice troubles and overthrows his house Prov. 15.27 And if according to St. Augustin 't is God who makes the poor and who makes the rich S. Aug. ho. 48 why should you so much disquiet your self for your Children Why should you not have a confidence in his providence Why should you not employ all your cares to render them gratefull to him and a part of your means to procure for them Intercessours and Freinds near his Divine Majesty Luk. 16.9 For the rest Sister although God should give you grace to observe exactly in the education of your Children all that we have here represented unto you and that you should apply your self totally to instill into them the Maxims of the Gospel and of the Fathers of the Church and to imprint in them a horrour of all that is contrary thereunto You are nevertheless to leave the event entirely to God committing to his Wisdom and to his Goodness to make your solicitudes profitable to your Children For as you ought to look only on his Glory in the pains you take to educate them according to the Laws of the Gospel if he suffers you to be frustrated in some of them of the fruit of your labour and that they should neglect all the good feelings which you have endevoured to instil into them to abandon themselves to the passions and to the disorders which reign in the World you ought in this to submit your self to his holy Will as in every thing else and to beware of suffering your self to be transported to any words of murmure or to believe that God had not accepted your cares and your pains since nothing will happen to you in this which he hath not permitted to befall many Saints Finally I observe in the holy Scripture that the major part of them who have been particularly favoured of
God have all of them received displeasure in some of their Children Adam had the grief to see his younger Son murdered by his elder Brother Adam and to see that elder Son by a just judgement of God to be a Vagabond and Fugitive upon the earth for the punishment of his crime Of the three Sons of Noah Noah one of them discovered to his Brethren with contempt the undecent posture wherein he had found his Father in his drunkenness instead of hiding it from himself through respect as did his Brethren which drew upon his other posterity the malediction of his Father and that of God What displeasure had Isaac for the dissention which was between Jacob and Esau Isaac and which obliged him to banish Jacob many years from him and to send him into Mesopotamia till such time as Esau's anger was appeased Did not Esau marry strange Women against his will against which he had so great an aversion that he expresly recommended to Jacob not to imitate therein his Brother and never to take a Wife among the children of Canaan Jacob had the affliction to see four of his Children fall into a great crime Jacob. of which Joseph who was his youngest accused them before him He had the displeasure to hear that Reuben who was hiâ—â—â—â—est Son had abused Bala one of his Wives The indiscretion of Dina his only Daughter was the cause that she was carried away and ravished by Sichem who was a young Lord of his Neighbourhood Simeon and Levi two of his Children entred into a confederacy without his leave and against his will to revenge this fact and killing all the subjects of that Prince exposed their Father as he himself complained to the hatred of all his Neighbourhood All the world knows the affliction which the jealousy of his Children against Joseph caused him to undergo and the sorrow he had for the captivity of Benjamin whom he so tenderly loved Aaron saw two of his Sons who were consecrated to the service of the Altar Aaron punished with death for having committed a fault in the exercise of their ministery and he was so lively touched therewith that he could not eat that day of the meats which had been offered in Sacrifice nor apply himself as he ought to the functions of his Priesthood because as himself says he had his heart and his spirit overwhelmed with sorrow for this loss The great Priest Heli Heli. who was a very holy man had two very wicked Sons who after they had caused him much displeasure by the disorder of their life made him dye with grief when he was informed in what manner they were slain and the dreadful chastisement they had drawn down from Heaven by their crimes upon the whole people of Israel Samuel had but two Sons whom he had established Judges of the people Samuel But they were no sooner raised to that dignity but they suffered themselves to be corrupted with presents and appeared so self-interessed and so unjust that all the people rejected them and demanded a King of Samuel to place in their stead What displeasures did not David receive from his children David Ammon his eldest Son committed an Incest with his Sister Thamar Absalon his second Son slew Ammon at a banquet to revenge the injury done to his Sister and this Wretch having recovered the friendship of his Father studied secretly to raise the people against him then openly declaring himself and taking arms forced him to fly from Jerusalem abused his Wives in the sight of all the people and had the insolence to pursue him with his weapons in his hand and to give him battle Now if you desire to know why God permitted that these great men for whom he had done so many wonders and to whom he had testified so great love received notwithstanding such sensible displeasures from their children and that these children did so strangely degenerate from the Virtue and the piety of their parents it is easy to answer you that it is to teach Fathers and Mothers who have not the merit of these so illustrious men First that they are indebted only to Gods grace that their children cause not to them the same displeasures and that it would little avail them to have applied themselves with much care to the education of their children if he did not bless their endeavours Secondly that the greatest tryall which can befall a Christian Father and which God makes use of to prove his fidelity and his submission to the orders of his providence is to permit his children to fail in their duties and in what they are bound to render to God and that thus Fathers and Mothers ought to dispose themselves to support these sorts of afflictions and tryalls how hard soever they be with Christian dispositions when he shall please to send them Thirdly that as it is a matter of great difficulty not to commit some fault either in the manner of educating their children or in overmuch indulging them or finally in being too much tyed to them in a humane way God according to the immutable order of his Wisedom who punishes us by the same things whereby we have offended him makes use of children to chastise Fathers and Mothers for the faults they have committed upon their consideration Thus God punished the incontinence of David by taking out of the world the Son he had by Bathsheba and revenged afterwards the Adultery committed by him in secret with this Woman by the abuse which Absalon made of his wives in the open sight of all his people Finally God permits that parents should receive displeasure from their children not only to humble them and to try their fidelity and to punish the faults they may have committed in their Education but furthermore to purify the rational affection they have for them and to teach them to love them not because of the sweetness they finde in the submission and the respect they render them but because they belong to God For God will have them accustom themselves to look upon him alone in all they do for their children and to surmount all the difficulties which occur in the designe they have to bring them to his service even to suffer patiently the contempt they make of their advertisements and to pursue them by the example of St. Monioa St. Monica in spight of all their resistance till God hath touched their heart and till they have obtained their conversion by their tears and by their perseverance as that Saint obtained it for St. Augustin You will perchance tell me that I exact great things of you that I demand you should do all your actions in a spirit of Piety and Zeal for the interests of God that you should be perpetually employed to procure his glory in the children he shall please to give you and that by consequence I engage you to a continual Prayer since I propose unto you a conduct and Maxims which you cannot keep without being powerfully supported by him whose help we obtain by humble prayer All this is true Sister and I aver that to acquit your self worthily of the obligation you have to give your Children an entirely Christian Education you are to follow in this Education the Maxims of the sacred Scripture and the Advices of the Fathers of the Church to apply them from their tender Infancy to them particularly whom you de sign to live in the World to embrace the means which may enable you in this generous enterprise to overcome the oppositions which you shall meet therein and to imitate perfectly the excellent Idea's of the holy Education I have here traced to you in the conduct of God and that of his Church I avouch I say that to acquit your self worthily of all these Duties you stand in need of very powerful Graces and you ought to live in a continual search and in a profound adoration of the designes of God upon your Children You are very instantly to crave of him the use of his Lights to enter into the knowledge of their necessities you are to abandon your self to his spirit for the choice of such sentiments and feelings as you ought to instill into them and of the times when your chastisements and your instructions will be profitable unto them and you must pray unto him that since he who plants and he who waters is nothing he himself will give virtue to your Words that he will engrave in their hearts his Fear and his Love and that as he would make use of you to give them the Life of Body and to employ your cares to procure that of their Soul by Baptism he will also make use of you to conserve and strengthen in them his Spirit and his grace To conclude you are to propose to your self the attaining of a very high perfection and the faithfull practise of all the most Christian Virtues and to make it appear to the whole world by the Christian Education of your Children that you engaged not your self in Marriage upon humane considerations or upon any other score unworthy of Christianism but to make use of the terms of St. lib. of the good of Marriage c. 25. Augustin That you were not a Wife nor desire to be a Mother but for the love of Christ Jesus and for the interests of his Church FINIS