to consider Gods ordinance his promise and their owne necessity c. by commanding them to lay aside all such cares thoughts and affections as might hinder them from a diligent hearing To the Sacraments they must prepare them by willing them to consider of Gods institution the ministerie of his Sacraments his mercie in Iesus Christ their faith their repentance and their wants that so seeking assurance of grace of reconciliation and comfort they may come preparedly to the Lords table Againe to further their profit they must diligently examine them what they haue learned what vse they can make of such doctrine also helpe and direct them wherein they faile Thus did our Sauiour Christ his Disciples Besides they must call vpon them for the practise of that which they learne out of the word that the word grow not to a common matter of no further vse but to talke of vpon the Sabbath day The fourth speciall dutie that belongeth to instruction is the vse of Gods workes either past or present as of examples of his mercie and goodnes to be encouraged by them to trust in him by workes of his iustice to be moued to feare him and so to sow the seed of conscience and religion in them Thus did Abraham Gen. 18. 19. which care of his moued the Lord to reueale to him his purpose of destroying the Sodomites The duties which they are to require of them concerning godlines be to vse the publike ministery carefully to be diligent and reuerent in the priuate worship of God to submit themselues to priuate instruction of all sorts and to make their vse of it to the building vp of themselues in faith And 〈◊〉 to practise all holy and Christian duties which being comprised briefly in the Commandements are more largely layed open by the publike ministery of the word and by priuate Catechizing But after what maner must they require these duties We answer not onely by telling of them what they must do and calling vpon them for the doing of it and by gentle admonition when they be backward but also by correcting them if they shall be negligent and contemptuous in the practice thereof This correcting is either by Rebuking or Chastising them according to the quality of the fault the condition of the partie that is so to be dealt with A rebuke is a pronouncing of some misbehauiour or knowne wickednesse of any with condemning of the same by the word of God whereby they may haue shame that others might feare Correction is a sharpe thing and therefore not easily borne of our nature which is full of selfe-loue and through the corruption of nature it is turned into an occasion of great frowardnesse sturdinesse and naughtinesse where it is not wisely dealt in Now the better to minister correction with more hope of doing good by it we must consider First the end of correcting Secondly the matters for which correction must be giuen Thirdly the manner of correcting 1. The end in correcting must not be to wreck and reuenge thine anger or malice or to reuenge thy selfe for any iniury done nor yet alonely the preuenting of the like hurt by the like fault afterward but in zeale of Gods glory who is dishonored by the lewdnesse of the offender and in loue to the party thou must seeke by wise correction to reclaime him from such euill as bringeth danger to him to make him more carefull of his duty afterwards Herein they faile who in correcting haue no respect but to their owne commodity 2. For the matters that deserue correction this is a rule that there must be no rebuking much lesse chastising but where there is a fault For where any is vniustly corrected besides the iniury it hurteth him by hardning him against iust correction For he will thinke that it is the rash hastinesse of his gouernor that putteth him to smart and not his owne desert By fault I meane not onely the committing of that which was forbidden but also the omitting of that good which was commanded But euery such fault is not to be censured with correction sometime ignorance mistaking ouersight and a desire to please in one thing maketh inferiors to offend in others Except there be contempt or willing negligence or retchlesse ouersight a gentle admonition may serue And indeed superiours must take heed of comming to the greatest remedies of correction too soone for so they may soone marre the partie by ouer-sharpe dealing which by a wise proceeding by degrees might haue bene gained Furthermore Gouernors must know yet more expresly for what to correct Some neuer correct but for their owne matters neuer regarding the faults committed against God But the godly gouernour that aimeth at Gods glory and seeketh the Lord and not himselfe is most grieued for those disorders in his family that tend to Gods dishonour and such he correcteth most carefully And as for the defaults of his family that are against himselfe he looketh more to Gods dishonour by them then to his owne hurt or losse in zeale of God is drawne to correct and not of selfe-loue He therefore counteth these things worthie of correction if any delight in the ignorance of God or be carelesse to approue himselfe as one that wholly dependeth on him loueth him feareth him reuerenceth him laboureth to approue all his wayes before him if any be giuen to idolatrie and superstitiō careth not in euery part of the worship of God to follow his reuealed will or if in the parts commanded he appeare negligent cold or put them to any other vse then is commanded or be giuen to images or superstitious monuments customes occasions or such like if any dishonour the name of God either in the vnreuerent vsing or abusing or 〈◊〉 and not vsing it with that preparatiō before feeling at the present time and fruit after which is prescribed his titles word Sacraments or works if any prophane his Sabbath by vaine pastimes and gaming as cards dice dancing c. going to playes or giue not himselfe to the exercises appointed for that day out of the Word if any neglect speciall duties towards their equals superiours or inferiours in yeares gifts authority as Magistrates Ministers Maisters parents seruants children or people if any declare not a conscience to fly euill anger malice contention quarelling fighting or any hurting of the person of man either in soule or 〈◊〉 being carefull to succour the same according to his calling if any be found vnchast in bodie words countenance or gesture vntemperate in diet in apparell dissolute not caring to maintaine the contrary holinesse in himselfe and others if any be not carefull to preserue the goods of another man or shall by falshood flattery and oppression diminish the same if he be negligent in increasing of his owne by honest and lawfull meanes or mis-spend them in cards dice gaming c if any care not to maintaine the good names of others but be giuen to
they command them and to refraine from those things which they forbid them Thankfulnesse besides that there are many other branches is alwayes mindfull of benefits receiued and therefore carryeth continually a vigilant and watchfull eye towards the partie by whom it hath bene pleasured that no discourtesie in any case be offered or any occasion be ministred whereby he may conceiue vnkindnesse And by this familiar description of these three heads wherein standeth chiefely the honour due vnto parents we may clearely see that those children which in wedding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers do neither stand in awfull feare of them as whom they would be loath to offend or displease nor yet giue ouer themselues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them nor haue any regard that they be not causers to make their friends and parents conceiue hardly and vnkindly of them when as it is more then manifest that in matters concerning their dutie towards their parents no griefe cutteth nearer vnto the heart then this when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking And therefore such children as match in this sort as it were in spite of the teeth of their fathers and mothers are neither reuerent obedient nor thankfull vnto them and so consequently they do not honour them whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God which without true and vnfained repentance must needs pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families the fearefull plagues of God his most heauie and hote indignation against them to their vtter subuersion decay and ruine Let all dutifull and good nurtured children therefore in the reuerence and feare of God consider what honour and obedience they owe vnto their parents and what power and authoritie he hath in his word sanctified vnto them ouer their children in the Lord and in regard hereof let them yeeld vnto them in this dutie that their fathers hauing prouided for them such as are not of a wicked life nor deformed nor euill-fauoured nor of a contrary religion they 〈◊〉 submit themselues vnto their choyce which if for the present or vpon the sodaine they cannot yeeld vnto let them by earnest calling vpon the name of God not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choyce but also to subdue in them this corrupt affection and to frame their wills to be plyable vnto their fathers in such lawsull cases For the Lord our God in his iustice doth iustly punish disobedient children as may appeare by the example of Ham the younger sonne of Noah who derided his father and was iustly punished for it Likewise Absolon vsing wicked practises to get the kingdome from Dauid his father for rebellion and disobedience came to a most miserable end Yea and he hath in his law set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient children If any man haue a sonne that is stubburne and disobedient which will not hear 〈◊〉 vnto the voyce of his father and the voyce of his mother and they haue chastened him and he would not obey them then shall his father and his mother take him and bring him out vnto the Elders of the Citie and vnto the gates of the place where he dwelleth and shall say vnto the Elders of his Citie This our sonne is stubburne and disobedient and he will not obey our admonition he is a riotour and a drunkard Then all the men of the Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death So thou shalt take away euill from among you that all Israel may heare it and feare For euen as a long and a prosperous life is promised vnto obedient children so on the other side all disobedient vnthankfull and obstinate children are assured of the punishment of infamie ioyned with diuers and great calamities and torments 1. Sam. 2. 22. 1. King 1. 25. c. Deut. 21. 18. c. Prou. 20. 20. 30. 17. And although that the temporall officers be negligent in punishing this disobedience yet shall they not escape vnpunished for the vengeance of God shall accompanie them vntill they be vtterly destroyed For there is nothing more vnnaturall then to see children dishonour and disobey their parents and inferiours their superiours Such may aptly be compared to the Viper that gnaweth out the bellie of her dam and seeketh her owne life with her dams death So contrariwise the word of God doth highly commend Ioseph for his great loue beneficence and obedience extended towards 〈◊〉 father Iacob and his brethren in that he both helped and liberally nourished them and prayed for them Our Sauiour Christ was also obedient to his parents euen vntill death So that the Lord no doubt will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeares to his glory and their soules comfort And to the end to inuite and stirre vp children to honour their parents as before is shewed the Lord addeth this promise That thy dayes may be long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee And S. Paul doth note that it is the first Commandement with promise For albeit there be a promise added to the second and others of the first Table yet this fift Commandemēnt is the first of righteousnesse and none in the second Table besides it hath any promise annexed thereunto For herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to their parents But the Lord spake to the Israelites properly of the land that he had promised them for an inheritance which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnesse and loue towards them It is therefore as if he should haue said To the end that liuing vpon the earth thou mayest long enioy the earnest pennie of my goodnesse and grace towards thee But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull the promise of long life vpon the earth is vnto vs a blessing of God First because we cannot liue long without participating of many great benefits of God euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life Secondly because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue glorifie God In confideration whereof we see what the Church in old time said The dead praise not the Lord neither any that go downe into the place of silence but we will praise the Lord from henceforth and for euer The same doth Hezekiah King of Iudah also note in his Canticle The liuing the liuing he shall confesse thee as I do this day the fathers to the children shall declare thy truth In as much therefore as long life is promised as a blessing God doth continue it to obedient children so long as it is a blessing vnto them And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne together these two sentences That it may go well with thee and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth As also when
A GODLY FORME OF HOVSHOLD GOVERNMENT FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES according to the direction of Gods Word Wherunto is adioyned in a more particular manner the seuerall duties of the Husband towards his wife and the wiues dutie towards her Husband The Parents dutie towards their children and the childrens towards their parents The Maisters dutie towards his seruants and also the seruants duty towards their Maisters First gathered by R. C. and now newly perused amended and augmented by Iohn Dod and Robert Cleuer ISIDORE Thou profitest much when thou readest if thou practisest that which thou readest BERNARD What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy Name of our Sauiour except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour LONDON Printed by R. Field for Thomas Man and are to be sold by Arthur Iohnson neare the great North doore of Pauls Church 1621. TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVL MAISTER ROBERT Burgaine of Roxall one of his Maiesties Iustices of peace in the County of Warwicke to the right worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue of Ridlington Parke in the Countie of Rutland and to the worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple of Temple hall in the Countse of Leicester Esquires as also to their religious and vertuous wiues R. C. wisheth with heart and minde grace from God the Father by Iesus Christ and constancy in the truth of the Gospell to the end and in the end Auing collected finished this Treatise ensuing and deuising very carefully with my selfe to whom I might Dedicate the same at length I resolued that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage therof then some such meete persons as did alreadie in some good measure practise within their seuerall charges the seuerall points and duties contained therein and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts which they haue yet in some part pretermitted Wherupon calling to minde the holy exercises daily vsed and exercised in all your houses I was moued for two causes to make you all iointly Patrons thereof First for that I acknowledge my self beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly since my first acquaintanoe with you and therefore left I should deserue the blame of vnthankfulnesse for benefits receiued I am bold vnder your Names to offer to the whole Church of God these my simple collections Secondly for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of marriage so also you are and haue bin a long time inseparably knit in a zealous and sincere profession of Gods word and Religion And for so much as I may not for many respects accomplish what good I willingly wold yet lest I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeares in an idle condition or to hide my talent in a napkin I haue bene no lesse carefull then willing to labour other wayes to do what I may to glorifie God and profit his Church Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purpose of my writings For such Housholders as pretend to be great Protestants and sound professors of the Gospell may long enough talke of Discipline and still complaine of the want of Church gouernment but all in vaine and to no purpose vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their owne houses according to the direction in this Treatise and so suffer the holy religion of God to take place among their familie at home otherwise they shall trauell much and profite little For although there be neuer so good lawes in Cities neuer so pure order in Churches yet if maisters of families do not practise at home catechising in their houses and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may in truth but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children and seruants are disordered and corrupted abroad when in truth they were disordered and are still corrupted and marred at home And therefore it cannot be neither is it to be hoped for that either the father of his children or the husband of his wife or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience that reuerence that faithfulnesse and that dutifulnes which they of right ought to haue and the other in conscience and of bounden duties are bound to performe vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned to be practised within their seuerall housholds For if Parents and Housholders shall performe no further dutie to their children and seruants then to prouide for them meate drinke and apparell and to pay them their wages then Papists Atheists yea Turkes and infidels do yeeld this dutie as well as they And seeing all men be carefull that their horses and bullockes should haue sufficient fodder and prouender to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof it doth consequently follow that therefore a Christian housholder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants as much more Christian care then he hath ouer dumbe and insensible beasts that so he may receiue a singular comfort from the daily contēplation of their increase in spirituall graces Oh what a sweet and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder when he hath bene so diligent and carefull in the training and bringing vp of his children and seruants in the obedience and wayes of the Lord that he may rightly deserue to haue this worthy report and commendation giuen vnto him from the mouth and penne of the godly Namely that he hath a Church in his house that is a company of sound and faithfull Christians such as feare God indeed as the like report was giuen by the Apostle to those godly house-keepers Aquila and Priscilla his wife Rom. 16. 5. 1. Cor. 16. 19 as also to Philemon Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and householders are in the Lord to be exhorted that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God and heires of his Couenant or at the least they may be comforted in their owne consciences notwithstanding that their children and seruants for some cause vnknowne to them do refuse their counsell and instruction seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well and haue rightly offered them to the Lord. Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament when thus trauelling in good education information they cannot yet see good effects and godly fruites in their children and seruants how much more cause of griefe may they haue when they haue vsed bestowed no labor at all either by themselues or others for them to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord And yet alas many will be grieued for the one that will not be any thing moued for the other Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know
all other And this doth God declare saying Let vs make Adam as helper like vnto himselfe By the helper is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice and by the similitude and likenesse are signified loue and helpefulnesse For a seruant and he that is hired are insufficient to supply that place there can neither be so much loue and ability to minister helpe and comfort to a man as will be found in a faithfull wife The child is part of the father and through a naturall pitie they loue each other but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children but the children seldome labor or take paines for their fathers and oftentimes are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses whereby in a manner it appeareth that their streight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake but the wife cleane contrarie doth continually take paines for her husband who may as long as she liueth neither change house nor bed If commoditie and prosit be looked for no commoditie excelleth this if thou shalt loue thy wife thou shalt liue most pleasantly if not thy life will be most miserable and wretched For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter as to hate the thing that doth fauour and loue thee nor any thing more happy then to loue him that loueth thee Therefore loue that thou mayest be loued Now we will in few words shew the occasions of Wedlocke why and wherefore it was ordained and for what purpose it should be contracted that euery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they consent when either of them granteth to marry the other Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be but that marriage which was ordained of such an excellent author as of God himselfe and in such a worthy place as Paradise and of such an ancient time as in state of Adam and Eues innocencie and after such a notable order must likewise haue speciall causes for the ordinance of it Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare chiefly three causes thereof The first is the procreation begetting and bringing vp of children Gen. 1. 27. 28. 9. 1. For in the children do parents liue after a sort euen after death And if they be well and vertuously brought vp God is greatly honoured by them the commonwealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them For they are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth sometimes a late but neuer an apt haruest yong branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow c. But more of this shall be said after in the dutie of Parents Although marriage be an holy and sanctified ordinance yet none may vse the benefit of it without some acknowledgement of originall sin in that vncleannesse may be practised therein which should cause Gods children to vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be and husband and wise to keepe themselues together in the feare of God and in all modestie and sobrietie If then in marriage it selfe there be such mischiefes what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes which are not expressed with these considerations So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate to giue libertie to their wiues in vncleannesse nor wiues to consent with their husbands in impuritie by immoderate intemperate or excessiue lust Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe if they passe not their owne wiues but they may make their marriage polluted and defiled if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse c. 1. Tim 4. 4. 5. Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife when it is with her as it is common to women c. Ezechiel 18. 6. Leuiticus 18. 19. 24. 22 and 19. 18. This was one of the sinnes for which the Lord rooted out the Canaanites out of their land The second occasion why marriage was ordained was that the wife might be a lawfull remedy to auoide whoredome fornication and all filthy vncleane lusts 1. Cor. 7. 2. 3. c. Touching this point I will say no more for it is handled at large by others already and I haue elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it The third and last cause was for mans commoditie to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse that the one may helpe comfort the other in sicknesse in affiction and in all houshold cares and trouble as education of children and keeping the family in order For this cause old men and old women may lawfully marrie So that a wife is called by God himfelfe an helper and not an impediment or a necessarie euill as some vnaduisedly do say and as other some say It is better to burie a wife then to marrie one againe if we could be without women we should be without great troubles These and such like sayings tending to the dispraise of women some maliciously and vndiseretly do vomit out contrarie to the minde of the holy Ghost who saith that she was ordained as a helper and not a hinderer And if they be otherwise it is for the most part through the fault and want of discrerion and lacke of good gouernment in the husband For married folkes for two eyes haue foure and for two hands as many moe which being ioyned together they may the more easily dispatch their handy businesse and houshold affaires For like as a man hauing one hand or one foote if by any meanes he get himselfe an other may thereby the more easily lay hold on what he listeth or go whither he will euen so he that hath married a wife shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures and profitable commodities of this present life For in trouble the one is a comfort to the other in aduersity the one a refreshing vnto the other yea and in all their life the one is a helpe and succour to the other Most true it is that women are as men are reasonable creatures and haue flexible wits both to good and euill the which with vse discretion and good counsell may be altered and turned And although there be some euill and leude women yet that doth no more proue the malice of their nature then of men And therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill and haue not with like fury vituperated and dispraised all mankind because part of them are theeues murtherers and such like wicked liuers But the marriage and companie of the husband and wife is made amiable sweet and comfortable by these fiue meanes by godlinesse vertue 〈◊〉 forbearing mutuall loue and by dut 〈◊〉 performed busily and godlily on both sides 1. Godlinesse of right holdeth the chiefe place for there
without comparison more straite and bindeth them each to loue other much more then the coniunction whereby man is vnited vnto his neighbour But this is the mischiefe that in many their loue is not grounded vpon the vnion of marriage but vpon beautie riches and other carnall and worldly considerations subiect to change alteration and losse This corruption that respecteth beautie is olde and noted to be among the causes of the floud The sonnes of God saith Moses seeing the daughters of men were faire lusted after them and tooke them in marriage But indeed it is money that maketh loue and riches ingender affection witnesse the experience of our dayes Yet such loue resembleth onely a fire of straw which is but a blaze and is soone out vnlesse it be continued with great wood or other like substance Loue growing of beauty riches lust or any other like slight vncertaine and fraile grounds is soone lost and vanished vnlesse it be maintained with the consideration of this vnion of two in one flesh and the vertues thereto adioyned therefore must euery man thinke vpon this vnion in marriage that he may enioy nourish continue the loue that there of proceedeth the rather because such loue is the nurse of concord that maketh marriage happy as contrariwise the want of this loue is the fountaine of strife quarrelling debate and other like afflictions that conuert the paradise of marriage into a hell For dissention betweene man and wife is the trouble and ouerthrow of the houshold They that wil auoide such strife must therefore loue each other and especially they must haue care hereof when they are first married For as a vessell made of two peeces and glewed together may at the first be easily broken but in time groweth hard so is it also with two persons that are glewed or ioyned together by the bond of marriage This loue the mother of peace will ingender a care and duty each to support other and so to practise the same which Saint Paul requireth in all beleeuers that is To be gentle one to another friendly and each to forgiue other euen as God hath forgiuen vs through Christ. Let the husband think that he hath married a daughter of Adam and all her infirmities and likewise let the woman thinke that she hath not married an Angell but a child of Adam with his corruption And so let them both resolue to beare that that cannot be soon amended Let not the body complaine of the head albeit it haue but one eye neither the head of the body albeit it be crooked or mishapen Such defaults do neuer breake vnion and loue betweene the head and the body neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife infringe the loue that proceedes of the vnion and coniunction of mariage If the husband be giuen to brawling or the wife to chiding let them both beware of giuing any occasion The bell hath a loud sound and therefore he that will not heare it must beware how he pulleth the rope and shake it so if the one will begin to chide without a cause let the other be either deafe and so not heare it or dumbe and so make no answer So that where the husband is deafe and the wife blinde marriage is quiet and free from dissention Whereby is meant that the wife must winke at many infirmities of her husband as if she saw them not and the husband put vp many shrewde speeches of his wife as if he heard them not Neither can it be any reproach to the husband and wise so stedfastly vnited to practise this dutie considering that Dauid protesteth that he vsed the like patience and discretion among his enemies They that seeke after my life lay snares and they that go about to do me euill talke wicked things and imagine deceit continually But I as a deafe man heard not and am as a dumbe man which openeth not his mouth Thus I am as a man that heareth not and in whose mouth are no reproofes This vnion betweene man and wife doth also engender that dutie which the holy Ghost noteth saying For this cause shall a man leaue his father and mother and cleaue to his wife And also the wife in the like respect is bound to the like duty toward her husband Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parents but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife is greater then betweene the children and the parents And indeed the true loue of the husband to the wife and the wife to the husband surmounteth all loue of children to their parents The husband and the wife haue their secret counsels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commodity The wise it more obedient to her husband and the husband more desirous to please his wife then their Parents yea and at length it falleth out that they depart from their parents to keepe house by themselues And this plainely appeared in Lea and Rachel being sisters and the wiues of lacob For lacob grieued at the wrong offered him by their father Laban boldly made his moane to them Whereupon they also complaining of their father agreed with lacob and consented together to leaue their father and to follow their husband lacob Herein likewise consisteth another dutie of the husband to the wife and of the wife to the husband namely that they shew no greater secrecie or communication of their houshold affaires to their parents then mutually each to other and this rule is especially to be put in practise when there groweth any discontent betweene themselues For if the husband shall complaine to his parents of his wife or the wife of her husband such dealing might breed a most dangerous iealousie and consequently perhaps irreconciliable dissention and strife But if it should grow to any complaint it were requisite so discreetly to prosecute the matter as that the wife should come to her husbands parents and the husband to the wiues parents So would all cause of iealousie ceasse and the complaint procure most assured remedy This loue and agreement in marriage produceth yet another dutie common both to the husband and the wife And that is that they neuer seeke neither once thinke of diuorce And to that end let them remember what is written That which God hath ioyned together let no man put asunder Likewise that nothing but adultery may separate those that are vnited by marriage All other agreements and contracts made by mutuall consent may be broken and dissolued by the like consent of both parties but in the contract of marriage Almightie God commeth in as a witnesse yea he receiueth the promise of both parties as a ioyning them in that estate And this doth Salomon note where he obiecteth to the harlot that she hath forgotten the couenant or alliance of her God But Malachie speaketh more plainely and giueth a reason why God punished such husbands as
sted-mother that is one father and one mother dyeth and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome Therefore to the end that both their loues may be seiled towards the children of the one and the other they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother that is in stead of their owne father and mother and therefore they ought to loue them to tender them and to cherish them as their owne father or mother did You must not looke vpon them like Rehoboam who told his people that he would be worse vnto them then his predecessor for then the children will dislike of you and turne from you as his subiects did from him but ye must come to them as Dauid came to the people after Saules death who said Though your Maister Saul be dead yet I will reigne ouer you So ye must say to them though your father be dead or though your mother be dead yet I will be a father or I will be a mother vnto you so the children will loue you as much as they did their dead father or dead mother For that man that is led with discretion reason and consideration will reckon himselfe and his wife all one And likewise she will account her selfe and her husband as one And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one and of the other as common to them both For if friendship make all things common among friends insomuch that they haue loued fauoured their friends children as their owne how much more effectually and perfectly ought marriage to cause the same which is the highest degree not onely of friendship but also of all bloud and kindred But step-mothers do more often offend and faile in this dutie then men by reason that their affections be stronger then mens and many times ouer-rule them and therefore they are earnestly to be admonished and warned that they shew to those motherlesse children no step-mothers friendship but a right motherly kindnesse Let the step-mother aduisedly consider that God hath ordained and appointed her in steast of their owne mother to be to them a right true mother and not onely to regard them as children but as orphane children and that he requireth her to loue them and to do them good as to her owne What a griefe wold it be to her heart if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne body should after her death haue a step-mother that would be rigorous churlish and vnkinde vnto them Doubtlesse those childrens mother that dead is had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children Let her therefore alwayes haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ As you measure vnto others so it shall be measured to you againe that is as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor so another wife may come after her and intreate her children For he that tooke away the first mother and sent her can take away the second mother and send a third which will not be like a stead-mother to hers vnlesse she be like a stead-mother to these Verily a good woman will be vnto her husbands children that which she may heare them call her so often that is Mother For what Christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection that will not be moued and mitigated with this word Mother of whom soeuer it be spoken and chiefly of children which cannot flatter but speake euen so from their heart as they would to their owne mother of whom they were borne How sweete is the name of friendship how many iniuries hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away Then how much more effectuall ought the sweete name of Mother to be which is full of incredible loue Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and mind when she shall heare her selfe named Mother by any of her husbands children Otherwise she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkind then the wilde sauage beast for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kind fawne vpon her she will by and by shew kindnesse and mildnesse vnto it And shall not her husbands children make her kind louing vnto them when they call and speake vnto her by the louing and sweete name of Mother 3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the duty of wiues is that they do not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell or broidered haire trimmed with gold but that after the example of holy women which trusted in God they be sober in outward apparell garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds as with gentlenesse meeknesse quietnesse and chastitie which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God This point is plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie Chap. 2. vers 10 in which place he so flatly condemneth both the excesse and pride of apparell as also the pompe curiositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads by plaiting criping broyding curling and curiously laying out that no man can say more against it in few words then he hath spoken to the vtter dislike thereof For if a man should occupie himselfe and giue liberty to his pen to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride that many women are guilty of in this behalfe he should rather want time to write then matter to deliuer Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues we leaue them to the Lord who no doubt will in his appointed time not onely seuerely punish them but also their husbands for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues as he did the Iewes for the same sinne as plainly may be teene in Esay 3. 16. c. For so it falleth out according to the common Prouerbe that pride goeth before and shame and destruction commeth after And on the contrary part we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ and his religion will both attire and dresse their heads so decently and also content themselues with such comely apparell as best beseemeth their calling and degree So as by their good example they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this behalfe and so rather come short of that which their abilitie and place would serue to maintaine then any way to exceed therein to the slander of their profession And let them not so much regard what thing they would faine haue but rather what they cannot well be without so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of is too deare of a farthing The dutie of Parents towards their children THis dutie consisteth in foure points First that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen frō the cradle in the feare nurture of the Lord. Secondly that they bring them vp in shame fastnesse hatred of vice and loue of all vertue
of the owner to be vsed euen so children well-taught are at the commandement of godly parents 5. Lastly Iet parents remember how many sinnes they commit and heape one vpon another which do not their dutie in bringing vp their children as they ought to do First they transgresse the law of nature which telleth all men that their dutie is to bring vp their children godlily and honestly Secondly they sinne against God for they despise the commandement and authoritie of God for he commandeth that children should be brought vp religiously and honestly but he is a despiser of God that refuseth to do as he is commanded Thirdly they offend against their owne credite and estimation For Gods will is that parents should after a sort be in his stead so farre foorth as pertaineth to outward discipline But such make small account of this dignity who neglect their dutie in this behalfe Parents are further to vnderstand that it is their dutie to haue diligent care to haue their children taught to pray to God and to rehearse the Apostles Creede and the ten Commendements For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather be inclined to godlinesse and reuerence towards God so as they increase in age they shall euery day better then other comprehend that which they learne to their owne comfort instruction and saluation Also the tongue is called the glorie of man because that besides all other reasons by his speech he is discerned from the bruit beastes so it is meete that so soone as the child can begin to speake his tongue should be employed to glorifie God by calling vpon him and by learning some short Catechisme containing the principles and grounds of Christian religion as also in repeating the will of God in such sort as he will that we should serue and honour him If parents do note and perceiue any vice in their little ones as swearing lying choller enuie filching couetousnes contempt of parents readinesse to strike and other like corruptions it is their duty diligently and in time to reproue and correct them as men vse to pluck vp weeds while they be yet yong lest growing vp among the good seedes they should hinder their growth and choke them vp By experience we can see that mothers in swadling their little ones do lay their limmes right each in his place likewise if a child be giuen to be left handed they chide him yea sometimes they bind it vp or otherwise restraine the vse of it that he may be accustomed to vse his right hand Also if the child haue some string vnder his tongue they cut it lest it should hinder his speech much more then ought they to beware that through their negligence the vices of the soule do not increase For it is the dutie of the parents euen in the infancie to begin to shape and frame the foule vnto vertue It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne at the least to write and rcade for it may be vnto them a great helpe in the course of this life and a treasure of much greater account then mony And therefore the negligence ofmany is sharpely to be reproued besides that the performance of this dutie doth greatly binde their children vnto them Neuerthelesse the principall end thereof should not haue respect to such commoditie as the children may reape thereby towards the vse of this present-life but rather that they may reade the word of God to their comfort and instruction to saluation Also it 〈◊〉 their parts to vse them daily to reade some Chapters of the holy Scriptures thereby to incline and winne their affections to the word of God to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holy Ghost by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vpon the wicked and disobedient and of his blessings vnto those that walke in his feare Therefore if parents do looke that their children should obey them then let them ioyne and accustome them to Gods word which will redound much to their parents profit If they cause their children to heare and read the holy Scriptures therein they may learne Honour thy father and thy mother but if parents do otherwise then they traine them vp in the Scriptures of diuels whereout their children will learne most wicked things but it is not so when they are instructed in the holy Scriptures Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God commandeth and so often and earnestly commendeth vnto them namely to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare ofGod and in the faith of Iesus Christ Deut. 6. 6. 7. and 32. 46. Ephes. 6. 4. So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age It is then great folly to linger children in the learning of vaine 〈◊〉 and vnprofitable things which as they grow in years they will contemne and forget Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course trade or other estate wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men and verily such fathers as do neglect that are vnworthy to haue children But as the soule is more precious then the body so is the dutie of parents in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things wherewith in age euen in this life they may glorifie God and be heires of the Lord. If parents want knowledge or bevnwilling to take leisure to teach them yet let them do as much for their childrens soules and the life to come as for their bodies and this present life Parents that either cannot write and reade or will not or haue no time to teach their children will yet send them to schoole and such as would haue them learne some art or occupation or traffique if themselues professe not the same wherein they like to employ their children they will yet put them to dwell with those that do professe the same to the end they may learne How therefore can parents excuse themselues when their children remaine vntaught in those things that concerne the glory of God and life euerlasting But howsoeuer it be if they be neither able of thēselues nor do prouide to haue them taught by others they shall be inexcusable in the sight of God the ignorance of the children ingendring contempt of God loue of the world and neglect of heauenly felicitie will crie out for euerlasting vengeance against their parents so that if they account not their children as beastes without soule or if they loue them with the due loue belonging to parents let them declare their loue especially to the soule the Christian instruction whereof surmounteth all worldly treasure Some say it would be a great comfort for them in heauen to know their neare kindred and consequently their children and this commeth of naturall affection But might it not be a greater discomfort for them
euen in their life time to see them go to hell for want of instruction Some charge their children to be dull witted and hard to be bowed or brought to any goodnesse or vertue Albeit naturall inclination be a great helpe to profiting yet exercise and custome to do well is a mightie meanes to bend and sharpe them that way yea euen such that by experience we find this old Prouerbe true Vse ouer cometh nature as the wheelewright doth by strength bow his timber and letting it lie long in that bent it bideth crooked Barren ground well tilled soyled and sowen with good seed groweth fruitfull and yeeldeth good increase iron weareth with handling the water by continuall dropping weareth the stone wilde beasts may be tamed and wilde colts by custome are brought to the saddle and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue As contrariwise the wiz most inclined by nature to vertue may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked be peruerted and grow vicious Parents therefore are herein to respect two points first to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue remēbring that a seale entreth deepest into softest waxe They must be carefull that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales baudie rimes or vngodly speeches before their children lest they infect their tender wits with follie and astonishment Experience sheweth that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation then elder folkes Also that the yonger the twig is the sooner it is bent or made straight Secondly it is the parents dutie to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing with such as be vicious peruerse and wicked And vndoubtedly we see that they do soone learne villanous and vnseemely speeches and malicious lewd actions with their corruptions and as the old Prouerbe saith halting with the lame they shall learne to halt A child that naturally speaketh wel by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech shall degenerate and speake as badly Tye a yong twig that is crooked with a straight one that is stronger then it and in growing it will become straight and so continue when it is vndone And contrariwise a straight one tyed to that which is crooked and stronger then it selfe will grow and continue crooked Moreouer parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation or to learning then they ought carefully to see and enquire whether such as they thinke to place them withall be religious and vertuous and endued with the feare of God In the admittance of a seruant the feare of some temporall or carnall inconuenience causeth men to enquire of his or her truth honestie or other qualities Therefore if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a maister before they make enquirie of his honestie and Christian conuersation they plainely shew that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice then of some small inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest and vnthriftie seruant When men buy an earthen pot they sound vpon it to see whether it be broken lest they should be deceiued in a small peece of monie yet do they not sound whether the maister to whom they commit their child be vicious or vertuous albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious they put him in danger of losse both of body and soule Some do respect their friendship with some maisters rather then their vertue and so do commit to them their children lest they should be angrie for putting them to another These men do resemble and be like him who being dangerously sicke vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition that is his kinsman or familiar friend for feare he should take offence if he should call another albeit without comparison more learned and skilfull If thou shouldest liaue any weightie matter in law wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant and negligent atturney because he is thy friend then to him that were both diligent and learned Making a voyage through some dangerous sea wouldest thou in a tempest commit thy ship to a young Pilot vnskilfull or drunke because he is thy friend What a foole art thou that wilt not take the like care of the profit honour safetie and saluation of thy childe Others commit their children either to him that will take them at the easiest rate or by whom they may grow into greatest aduancement in the world but neuer respect the hazard of their child so they may either spare or get worldly goods Let them also be carefull to restraine their children from vice and to inure and accustome them to vertue and indeed the fathers that instruct or cause their children to be instructed do far excell such as onely do beget them for of these they 〈◊〉 life onely of the other good and vertuous life Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens maisters as neuer to care to vnderstand how they profit and go forward in learning and vertue for the regard of such diligence would make the maisters more carefully to discharge their duties And thereof came the Prouerbe The maisters eye fatteth the horse and this The maisters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments both ghostly and bodily as well in the parents as in the children yea and in all the posteritie The holy Scripture giueth great commendation to sundry men and women for their godly education and vertuous bringing vp of their children as to Abraham for he commanded his sonnes and his houshold to keepe the way of the Lord. So Dauid counselled his sonne 〈◊〉 to serue God with a perfect heart and a willing mind It is said also of Cornelius that he feared God and all his houshold Likewise of Eunice the mother of Timothie that she nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith and good doctrine For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before there a godly and vertuous age followeth after Contrariwise when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God and to know themselues when they do not breed them vp in vertue nor reproue them when they do amisse they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding and abhominable in their doing ignorant and voide of all knowledge and grace and of reuerence or feeling of nature If parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous and honest indeed as in conscience they ought then they must be diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse honesty themselues For we see by experience according to the common Prouerbe As the old cocke croweth the yong learneth such a father such a sonne such a mother such a daughter For like as when the head is well and sound and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours
Elie was corrected himselfe for not correcting his sonnes which is a notable example necessary for all parents to imprint in their hearts that they may see their children well taught and corrected lest they procure the wrath of God to fall vpon thē as it did vpon this Elie who honored his children aboue the Lord and therefore the Lord cut him and them off For the comfort he had of his sonnes was this the Arke the witnesse of the Lords presence was lost thirty thousand of the people slaine his two sonnes Hophni and Phineas killed himselfe when newes thereof came vnto him for sorrow fell backward and brake his necke vpon this his daughter in law fell in trauell and in trauell dyed the remnant of his house were glad to craue and beg for a small peece of siluer and a morsell of bread Also the two and forty children that mocked Elisha the Lords Prophet saying Come vp thou Bald-head were rent in peeces with beares Thus we see that children vntaught and vnchastized bring shame and confusion to their parents Let them therefore alwayes remember this that they prouide and bestow diligent labour that their children be foorthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse whilest their wits are yet voide from cares and vices and whilest their age is tender and tractable and their minds flexible and readie to euery thing for then they will keepe fast good lessons and vertuous precepts if they be taught them For this is certaine that we remember nothing so well when we be old as those things we learne in young yeares It shall be conuenient and profitable therefore to handle the waxe straight way while it is moist to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor whilest they are new to die and litte the wooll while it is faire and white and not defiled with any spots The Emmets or Pismires are not taught to gather into their holes or hillockes in Sommer whereby they should liue in winter Bees learne not to make their cells to gather iuyce and to make honey but all these things be done by instinction of nature So euery liuing thing the lesse meete it is to learning so much the more it hath of natiue prudence but man neither can eate nor go nor speake except he be taught Then if fertile fields for want of tillage waxe barren if trees being neglected either bring forth no fruite or else the same vnsauourie without diligence or grafting and pruning if dogs be vnmeet to hunt the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough except mans diligence be put thereto how vile then and vnprofitable creatures would children become except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp What a shame is this for any man to take great care to haue his dog well taught his horse well broken his land well husbanded his house goodly trimmed and richly furnished and yet to haue his child shamefully rude in manners and altogether voyd of all garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse What a great folly and madnesse is this for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions and to haue no regard of his child for whom the same is gotten This is no lesse shame to heare then if a man taking thought for the shooe would set nought by the foote or with great care and studie would prouide that there should be no fault in the childes garments not regarding the health of his body This is as the common saying is to be penny wise and pound foolish to saue a sticke and burne a house to saue a ioynt and lose the body But oh vaine man hast thou more care and desire to leaue thy sonne faire buildings and full of lands then for to instruct him in the way of godlinesse and so leaue him a vertuous consceince Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp treasure for him with rust and moth to be consumed then to teach him the knowledge of God which will not canker but last for aye Most parents a pitifull thing to remember be louing to the bodies of their children but their soules they care not for they desire their welfare in this world but they passe not what they shall suffer in the world to come Yea fathers prouide lands rents reuenues great annuities fees and offices for their children here but alas few prouide or be carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue and the feare of God For the losse of their liues and bodies they will sore bewaile and much Iament but the health and saluation of their soules they make no reckoning of If they see them poore and sicke they sorrow and sigh but though they see them sinne and greatly displease God they are nothing grieued It behooueth that parents do carefully obserue vnto what vices their children are most inclined and so by good meanes admonish and draw them from their sinne As parents be carefull to prouide temporall things for their childrens bodies which are transitory so much more carefull ought they to be to prouide spiritual things for their soules And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water when they be young so much more they ought to take care that their soules be not poysoned with vices and false and erronious doctrine when they come to yeares of discretion and this is the most acceptable seruice that they can do to God Children are called the fruite of their parents Therefore as a good tree is knowne by bringing foorth good fruite so parents should shew their goodnesse in the good education of their children which are their fruit To teach a child in the trade of his way as Salomon commandeth Prou. 22. 6. is not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse but also vnto all other humane duties wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents and they are bound to do it For who should teach and informe the childe but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him But it is well knowne that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children or such as they shall procure for their better education and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them and they must looke vnto it Againe this is apparent euen by the generall law of nature which hath taught the very bruite beasts to bring vp their young And further this dutie is yet enforced from the opportunitie of the thing commanded For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment and thriue better in the soyle where it first grew or sprong vp then in any other ground because it liketh his owne soyle best so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents whom they best like and from whom they had their first being then from any other and therefore you parents are in fault if your children be not well taught For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the
child is naturall and kindly no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dug you shall sooner be heard of your children then either the sage counsell of the ancient or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned Lastly the rule of iustice doth require that euen as the first parent Adam and so all other after him haue bene a meane of falling to their posteritie in the begetting of children in their owne image which according to the law of creation should haue bene borne Gods Image so now in lieu of this all parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe neuer ceasse vntil they see in some measure the beauty of the first Image and the vertue of the second Adam This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture as amongst other these do prooue Deut. 4. 9. and 11. 18. 19. Ephes. 6. 4. Psal. 78. 5. And because this duty of parents is many times committed to Schoolemaisters to Maisters of families to Dames to Patrons and Guardians and such like they must therefore vnderstand whosoeuer they be that they are bound by the voyce of the Almighty to performe and to do the dutie of parents to all such as are committed to their charge as if they were their owne children Now the vices which some parents commit in not performing these duties before and after named and ought of them to be eschued are these First the ignorance of the parents as if they be so rude that they be not able to teach their children then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a duty and therefore they must indcuour to get so much nurture and knowledge as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them The second vice is the prophanenesse of many parents who so they may prouide liuelyhood and necessaries for their children they care for no more The third vice is committed of such poore parents which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children so they may haue meate and drinke enough and wages thereto competent and are neither back-beaten nor belly-beaten as they say Alas such poore children while they serue for their bellies they may lose their soules because they want godly maisters and dames to giue them wholesome instruction to hold them in by good example and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord. Wherefore here let all parents learne that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children as are godly and religious wise hearted such as are both able and well disposed to traine vp youth in all good nurture and Gods seruice and not onely this for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents but also they must so often as conueniently they may repaire vnto them and see how they profit and hold them vp by their good counsell and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them to be good vnto them in this chiefe point aboue the rest For as Salomon saith Life and death is in the power of the tongue so we may well say life and death is in the education of our children If they be well brought vp it shall be life vnto them but if it be otherwise they are trained vp to euerlasting death 4. The fourth vice is the fault of many maisters and dames who make no further reckoning of their seruants then they do of their bruit beasts For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them they care for no more and they will teach them no further then may serue for their owne turne and benefit that is to be a profitable seruant vnto them Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell and the life of such youth dieth while it shooteth vp All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God because they are contrary to good nurture and godly instruction Parents must be very carefull that their children may learne some occupation or profession of life and this is either mechanical which we call handicraft or liberall which is the learning of schooles and the end of this is either to get their liuing honestly and in Gods ordinance or else if they want no maintenance to apply their profession and trade to the benefit of the Common-wealth No childe of what birth or stocke soeuer he be ought to want this instruction and bringing vp If thou say my childe hath no neede of any trade yet the Common-wealth and Gods Church hath need of him for no man is borne for himselfe but his friends will require one part his kindred another and his countrie the third And if handicrafts like thee not thou hast the liberall Sciences of which no man euer was yet ashamed but many haue made them their crowne of glorie Saul was annointed King while he was seeking his fathers Asses and Dauid was taken from the sheepefold to feede with his wisedome and gouerne with prudence that honourable people the children of Israel And againe we reade that those two famous Prophets Elisha and Amos the one was called from the plough and the other from keeping of beasts which examples do plainly teach vs that the great and reuerent God despiseth no honest trade of life be it neuer so meane but crowneth it with his blessing to draw all good minds to his holy ordinance But now adayes such is the pride of our hearts a thing to be lamented through all our land that many gentlemens children may not be brought vp in any trade Oh it is too base and beggarly for them they must liue of their lands they must maintaine their gentrie a small learning will serue their turne but in the meane while this ordinance of God is neglected what misery from hence ensueth Who are the wasters of patrimonies Who are the robbers and rouers in the Common-wealth Who are the deflowrers of maidens Who are the defilers of 〈◊〉 Who are the corrupters of youth and to speake in one word who are the seedes-men of all mischiefe in our country but these children of Gentlemen who haue not bene taught and trained vp in learning or some occupation while they were young For euen as a weed if it grow in a ranke soyle will waxe out of measure noysome so these children coming of honourable and worshipfull parents brought vp in ease and pampered with the delights of gentrie they waxe immeasurably vicious and who may keepe them vnder neither lawes nor Magistrates not any other good meane First parents must teach their children to vse faire speech not onely towards themselues but also towards others and to call their betters by a reuerent and honourable name 1. Sam. 25. 24. Marke 10. 17. Prou. 16. 24. Secondly to speake modestly and humbly of themselues this point of good manners they may learne of that wise matron Abigail in 1. Sam. 25. 41. where we reade that
helping hands to Magistrates and Ministers they may indeed but vniustly as many haue done complaine that their children are corrupted abroad when they were before and are still corrupted and spoiled at home Alas if parents to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp is a precious crowne will not informe and reforme their children in the feare of God how can hope sustaine these men that others will performe this duty for them to whom this charge doth farre lesse appertaine Lastly let parents remember that therefore they haue disordered and disobedient children to themselues because they haue bene disobedient children to the Lord and disordered to their parents when they were young whereof because they haue not repented the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others with the like sinne to themselues Wilt thou know thou father how thou maist haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed Wilt thou know thou mother how to auoyd that curse to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed Bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant indeuour to make thy sonne the sonne of God and thy daughter by nature the daughter of God by grace and remember that God on his part protested to father Abraham that he was all sufficient for the accomplishment of his promise in giuing him a blessed seede and requested also on father Abrahams part that he should walke before him and be vpright Wilt thou then haue the one part of this couenant that is that God should blesse thee in thy seede then remember also that thou walke before the Lord and be vpright Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seede of Abraham teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord pray for them with Abraham that they may liue in the light of the Lord be readie to offer them with Abraham that they may be an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord. It is thou ô man ô woman that maist do thy child the greatest good and the greatest harme if thou prayest for them and repentest for thy selfe the Lord will blesse thy care the Pastors paines and the teachers trauell but if thou despisest these duties the Lord will denie thee these blessings and the curse of God will fall vpon the childe at home in thy house abroad in the Church and in the schoole And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will be thy God and blesse thy seede if thou beest faithfull thou mayest bothe hope that thou art of the faithfull if thou hast a blessed seede and feare that thou hast not as yet the blessing of the couenant when thy seede is accursed But had not Iacob wicked children and Dauid vngodly sonnes and doth not daily experience teach vs that wicked men haue godly children Yes for besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein we must know that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall that euery particular child of a faithfull man should be within the Couenant or if of many there be but one blessed the promise is performed yea which more is though the faithfull man haue neuer a good childe yet if vnto a thousand generations there be but one good the Couenant is not broken Noither must we tye the Lord his worke so much to man that a good man may not haue an cuill sonne seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes yet he may visit the sinnes of some of his fore-fathers to the third and fourth generation going before To the second we say that an euill father hauing a good child though the Lord shew not mercy to that particular man therein yet he may remember his promise to some of the fore-fathers in the thousand generations going before and though that euill man haue no cursed child yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generation following Wherefore not speaking of Election or Reprobation which we leaue onely to the Lord to make good or bad we exhort parents to the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children so as they either by some good tokens may see them the children of God as heires of the couenant or at least be comforted in their owne consciences If their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it yet they may reioyce in this that to the vttermost of their ability they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well and offered them to God And if parents haue cause to be grieued when thus trauelling in good education they cannot see good in their children how much more cause of griese may they haue when they haue vsed and bestowed no labour at all to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord And yet many will be grieued for the one that will not for the other Wherefore if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities let vs vse the duties thereunto let vs if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children carefully auoid the meanes vnto it And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Symeon to depart in peace leauing our wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord So in death no one thing will be more grieuous vnto a man then the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him How as much as he could he hath helped them forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face continuall curses in hell accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules and a cut-throat of their saluation The end of all this briefly is thus much that parents hauing fooles children not walking either in knowledge or in a good conscience must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe examining themselues and accusing their owne soules before the Lord either for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate or brutish because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and bloud then such as might be like Christ by grace and new birth or that they begat their off-spring as meere naturall or very carnall men or because they either prophanely neglected all good education or monstroufly misliked that in their yong children which they liked in themselues and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others which they could not suffer to do to themselues or vntaught them that at home which was taught abroad or in that they do lye in some sinne vnrepented of or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation but still loued the flesh of their children and not their soule Let all parents remember that they are bound by the law of God and nature as concerning this bodily life to make good and honest
prouision according to their degrees for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie And therefore such fathers and mothers as consume and wast away their money and substance vnthriftily by dycing carding gaming or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes whereby their children and familie should be maintained do very vnnaturally sin and breake Gods Commandements The Wiseman sheweth parents when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children that it may bring forth the fruite of life and make them alwayes readie to die saying Eccles. 12. 1. Remember now saith he thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth As if he should say Be mindfull and thinke on God in thy youth and do not prolong or deferre it vntill age And so all their life shall runne in a line the middle like the beginning and the end like the middle as the Sunne setteth against the place where it arose One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children is that they be very wary and carefull that their sonnes and daughters do not match in marriage with such as are vngodly wicked and voyde of true religion Which if they do they endanger the faith of their children and so commit a grieuous sinne For proofe whereof let vs consider first what marriage is and how nigh a coniunction the Lord hath made it He made the woman of the mans nature flesh of his flesh and bone of his bones So that we may not imagine that that God which required so neare a coniunction in the outward and inferiour part will suffer the minde and spirit of the husband and wife betweene faith and superstition to be rent asunder Therefore when God said They shall be two in one flesh we may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule that they should be of two one or that God did by so holy a Law set free the holiest part requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention For as God gaue vnto both one name as touching their earthly nature signifying their vnitie and called them Adam Genesis 5. 2. so he gaue vnto them a likenesse in name as they were ioyned in marriage to signifie their agreement in minde and spirit and called the one man and the other woman Genesis 2. 22. 23. Yea he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge For this cause shall a man leaue his father and his mother and shall cleaue to his wife and they shall be one flesh but it could neuer be that any vniting onely of flesh and bloud should haue found a dispensation from the Law that bindeth minde and conscience Honour thy father and thy mother Exod. 20. 12. The holy and faithfull bond of marriage betweene man and wife is commended to vs by that most holy coniunction of Christ with his Church Ephes. 5. 2. Seeing that this is a coniunction both of bodie and soule then such as are Christian parents ought to be carefull that their children may reioyce in it howsoeuer it liketh others to marrie their children yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselues that they may knit their minds in religion where they make their bodies one that so their marriage may be to them as a looking-glasse to view and behold the loue of Christ. S. Paul giueth this generall rule to all that wil marrie that they marrie onely in the Lord and to marrie only in the Lord is not to be led by flesh and bloud with fauour credite honour friendship riches or beautie but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God in the fellowship of the Church of Christ where true Christians liue by one faith professe one religion and serue one God Now let vs a little call to our remembrance what fruit such vnequal mariages haue brought forth from the beginning The sonnes of God saw the daughters of men that they were faire and they tooke them wiues of all that they liked This aduenturous marriage in a strange religion did so infect the world that all flesh had corrupted his wayes For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse Law vnto the people of Israel as touching all the inhabitants of the land of Canaan Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes Deut. 7. 2. 3. 4. Exod. 34. 16. Surely they will turne away thy heart 1. Kings 11. 2. Ezra 9. 1. 2. c. and 10. 18. 19. Reade the places We may not here thinke that this inhibition serueth not now 〈◊〉 ys as touching Pagans Turks or Infidels but rather we must assure our seiues in the truth and know that no people in the world are more within the compasse of this law then the Papists and superstitious idolaters The holy Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters and such as are of a strange religion and how can he then permit that we should marrie with them He commandeth streightly that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing 2. Cor. 6. 14. which to do is as vnseemely as an Oxe and an Asse to be yoked together to plough Deut. 22. 10. And how can we possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vnfaithfull We are charged To offer vp our bodies a liuely a holy and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God Rom. 12. 1. But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists we then shall make them one flesh with the Papists and then we may be sure that no corrupt sacrifice can be a sweete smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consider that the strengthening and constant standing in religion of their children is onely of God and from God and not of themselues and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously and thinke they are so well grounded and setled therein that they cannot be remoued drawne from their sound profession yet they must beware that they do not tempt God and venture their children to walke in that way which so many haue fallen in How can they assure themselues that their children shall abide constant and stand vpright if they shall consent that they may couple themselues in marriage with Papists Sampson was borne by Gods promise consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth to the day of his death made a Iudge of Israel a deliuerer of Gods Church and a reuenger of his enemies very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him that it should be continued yet when he would attempt to marry one of a strange religion he lost his honour and became a laughing-stocke vnto the enemies of God Iudges the fourteenth Chapter and first verse c. and 16. 4. 17. 18. c. Salomon was a
merchandise it carrieth about the more need it hath of a cunning ship-maister So the greater the childe is both by birth and by inheritance so much the more neede is it for him to be brought vp in learning and in good literature For learning knowledge and vnderstanding is profitable both for rich and poore so that as the Grecians say he that is ignorant and vnlearned seeth nothing although he haue eyes The life of such a one is as a tree without fruite a day without Sunne a night without Moone or Starres a house without a man and an head without a bodie It is found by experience which is the best Schoole-maister that vnto what occupation or science soeuer any young man shall be put the more skill and knowledge he hath in the liberall Sciences so much the more sooner shall be learne his occupation and the more ready and handsomer shall he be about the same And besides all this he that hath learning although it be but small shall much better vnderstand the Preachers and take more profit by hearing of them to his great and endlesse comfort then he that hath no learning Experience also teacheth vs this that goods riches beauty glory and health be vnstable and fade perish passe away come and go but learning and vertue neuer stagger alway be constant Therefore of all the charges that parents be at about their children that mony is best bestowed that is laid out vpon learning especially when they are taught to know God aright and how he will be serued It is a lamentable thing to consider how carelesse some parents are of their children when they put them to the schoole in that they make small account and reckoning to what schoole-maister they put their children to learne so they may haue them taught for little or no cost though their children profit little or nothing in learning so that oftentimes they not onely bestow their money in vaine but also they suffer their children to loose their time which is a thing so precious as it cannot be redeemed with any money and so let them spend two or three yeares in learning that which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilfull schoole-maister learne in lesse then halfe this time if there be any aptnesse and towardnesse in the children Therefore let parents remember that as the goodnesse of the ground is not much profitable for corne vnlesse there be a meete husband-man to till and sow the same so likewise it is not enough to find good towardnesse in your children vnlesse you prouide a meete and fit Schoole-maister to further the same And as Noblemen and Gentlemen are desirous to haue a good and skilfull horse-keeper that can keepe their horses well and they spare not to giue stipends to such euen so much more ought Christian parents to be desirous to haue and maintaine a good Schoolemaister that might bring vp their children in vertue wisedome and good learning And like as if their horle be not well broken or haue any 〈◊〉 qualitie they will be carefull to see it remedied and that he may be made tractable and gentle so likewise godly parents ought to be much more carefull not onely that their children may by instruction be brought to some good order but also to looke that there be no fault in the teacher to whom they commit the care to bring them vp in learning and good manners But alas and with griefe be it spoken many men now a daies albe it they perceiue their children to be toward and apt vnto letters and capable to receiue good learning hauing wealth and riches enough to maintaine them thereat yet will they not suffer them to continue thereat vntill they come to any good perfection some because they themselues do not like of our state religion othersome because they see little preferment and no worldly aduantage to follow learning but great trouble and affliction all which men in this doing declare themselues to be irreligious vngodly and destroyers both of themselues their children and of all Common-wealths and congregations For what publicke wealth Towne Citie or Parish can be well gouerned except the Prince Magistrate or Preacher be learned both in humane and diuine lawes In times past when ignorance and superstition was accounted good deuotion at which time men saw so many spirituall promotions as they then called them vnto rich Bishoprickes Abbies Priories Deaneries Benefices c. then they would let for no cost to haue their children learned in some sort to the end they might get them to be Priests and so to say Masse and the rest of that idolatrous seruice that so they might liue in ease and idlenesse But now that they see how painfull and perillous a charge it is to preach and rightly to diuide Gods word and to deliuer the same freely and faithfully and also how vnthankfull an office and calling it is to gouerne well a congregation they had rather their children should be bound prentises to some trade or else follow any other profession then that they should study Diuinitie When children were nothing apt to good learning and when there was no good learning to be had no nor good teachers yet then well was he that might set his child to Schoole But now when youth was neuer so apt to good learning as it is at this day and learning and all good meanes neuer so plenteously flourishing being restored and reduced into such a facilitie and a compendious briefenesse yea neuer so good learned and skilfull schoole-maisters neuer such plentie of so good and plaine books printed neuer so good cheape the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts as it were into the mouthes of all men few there be that will open their mouthes to receiue them their eyes to see the cleare light nor yet their eares to heare so pure manifest and wholesome and heauenly doctrine euen the word of God the meanes of our saluation It is therefore to be feared that for this our great vnthankfulnesse these so manifold heauenly blessings shall be taken from vs and giuen to some other nation that will both be more thankfull for them and also shew forth better fruites of Christianitie then we hitherto haue done Oh therefore that parents would aduisedly consider that the want of this Christian dutie of the good education of their children is the onely cause of great mischiefe and much miserie both vpon children and themselues yea in truth it is from hence that so much sorrow griefe and shame befalleth many times vpon the fathers and mothers And how cometh this to passe that the parents owne dung is cast in their faces by their owne children in mocking and despising of them and whence arise all these inconueniences before named together with all these grieuous plagues and iudgements of God vpon their children to the consuming of their eyes but from this their owne negligence in bringing vp their children For it is
dutie of Children towards their Parents THis dutie of children as it may be gathered out of the holy Scriptures consisteth in fiue points 1. First that they obey their parents and do serue them and also do feare loue honour and reuerence them not onely in word and deed but in their hearts and minds also 2. Secondly that they follow their good precepts and examples of life 3. Thirdly that they patiently take correction at their hands 4. Fourthly that they make continuall and hearty prayers to God for them 5. And lastly that they do relieue maintaine and nourish their parents in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay The summe and effect of all which is as followeth AS the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authority of their parents to obey and ferue them in his stead saying Honour thy father and thy mother which honour consisteth not in bowing the knee or putting off the cap or giuing to their parents the vpper-hand onely but in this that they loue them with all their hearts that they feare and dread them that they cheerfully do their commandements will and pleasure that they seeke their worship credite profit and preferment in all things lawfull and if need require that they giue their liues for them remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions and that they owe to them euen their owne selues and all that they are able to do yea and more then they are able By this word Honour is also signified the loue reuerence dutie obedience subiection entertainment and necessarie assistance that children owe to their parents As concerning the loue the summarie of the second Table comprehended in these words Theu shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe doth manifestly confirme it For who can be a nearer neighbour for the children to loue then their parents Besides that they are not to be loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue but also as fathers and mothers And therefore what ingratitude is it not to loue those of whom next after God they haue their life and being together with so many great and continuall benefits Also the loue that parents do beare to their children besides so many their labours sorrowes troubles and vexations should bind them reciprocally to loue them The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heate them that they yeeld some warmth so albeit that children be as hard and cold as stones yet the experience and daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe Take away the beame from the Sunne and it will not shine the springs from the riuer and it will drie vp the bough from the tree and it will wither the member from the body and it will rot and so take from children their duty to their parents and they are no longer children but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Christ Iesus said Ye are children of the diuell Ioh. 8. 44. This band of the loue of children towards their parents should take such place not onely towards such parents as are louing and gentle but also as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their maisters euen towards such as be rigorous For if we ought to loue all the children of Adam euen those whom we know not yea out enemies and persecutors how much rather our parents although they should intreat vs roughly and with rigour either in word or deed And verily the principall cause still abideth namely that they be our father and mother This ought children well to note to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions reproofs and in generall whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections they may still continue and declare their child-like affection and loue And to that purpose children must remember the labour griefe anguisn weeping sorrow and other troublesome cares that their parents do abide and endure for them This loue must be accompanied with reuerence and respect and to say the truth albeit the name of Father belongeth properly vnto God as Iesus Christ saith You haue but one Father euen he which is in heauen yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs that they being called fathers do beare the title and Image of God And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon he vnderstanding that his mother Bethshebah was comming to speake with him arole from his seate came to meete her bowed before her and seated her vpon his right hand Neither could his greatnesse neither his Royall-estate priuiledge him from this respect and honor due to his mother When the sonne doth execute magistracie or publicke office he is greater then his father and must beare himselfe as a magistrate not as a sonne but when he is out of place or execution of office he must how highly soeuer he be aduanced haue a respect and yeeld reuerence to his parents But many times it falleth out otherwise for many children when they come to honor or wealth do so despise their parents if they be of meaner calling then themselues that hardly they will acknowledge or call them father as if they were ashamed of them So that that man putteth off the affection of a child to his father who by the eminencie of an office ouer him quencheth the name of a sonne But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie for he did not onely bow before his mother but said Mother aske and I will not denie thee And this do we the rather note also vpon an other consideration namely that his example condemneth the custome of these dayes wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base and contemptible that the children of Kings Princes yea euen of meane Gentlemen speaking to their parents must not say father mother but Syr my Lord my Ladie Madame c. But the due honour to parents that we here speake of implyeth not onely this outward reuerence but also that we should so esteeme of them as that neither we our selues should despise them nor suffer others-to haue them in contempt And this are we to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ I honour my Father but ye dishonour me He therefore defendeth the honour of his Father against the false opinions and slaunders of the Iewes But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts and suffer others to speake hardly of them but also will themselues so farre exceed as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others Ham the sonne of Noah seeing his father lye vncouered called his brethren to shew them
his fathers shame But so odious was this impietie in the sight of God that Noah by the conduct and direction of the holy Ghost cursed both him and all his 〈◊〉 And therefore we well and truly may say that those children who in stead of defending the honor of their parents do lay them open to shame and reproofe do come of the cursed seed of Ham. This dutie of honouring parents is performed and payed when they do worshipfully and reuerently esteeme of them as to thinke that they are giuen to them of God to the end that they should reuerence loue and alwayes haue a care of them if for nothing else yet for the Lords sake who is and doth thinke himselfe despised so long as the children condemne their parents and little regard them So the children honour their parents when with their helpe and counsell they aide them in their old age and vnweildy crookednesse when they ease and helpe them in the time of their need or succour them otherwise in any case else and do wholly bestow themselues and all that they haue to do them good withall yea they ought not to giue them a rough or stubburne answer or once so much as to mumble of 〈◊〉 an answer against their parents neither to smite or curse or speake euill of their father and mother vnlesse they will procure the vengeance of God to light vpon them for the same Children ought alwayes to remember that whatsoeuer they do to their fathers and mothers be it good or euill they do it to God when they please them they please God and when they disobey them they disobey God when their parents are iustly angrie with them God is angrie with them neither can it be that they may come to haue the fauour of God againe no although all the Saints in heauen should intreate for them vntill they haue submitted themselues to their father and mother If children and seruants would alwaies keepe in minde this saying so to do and behaue themselues to their parents Maisters and Dames as they would haue their children and seruants to do and behaue themselues to them when God shall vouchsafe to make them parents maisters or dames then no doubt they would obey and reuerence their parents and maisters and dames more dutifully and faithfully then now they do For let them assure themselues that such measure as they 〈◊〉 mete to their parents maisters and dames such will be measured to them againe by their children and seruants Also the children must be carefull to follow the good examples of their fathers and mothers and to suffer themselues to be gouerned by them and to be mindfull to bestow all paine and diligence to discharge their dutie towards them And herewithali they must know that they are not at their owne libertie to do as they list so long as they haue a father and mother to rule them and that they must not fall out among themselues but naturally loue and helpe one another And children haue alwayes to remember that they may not in anie case obey their parents when they shall command them to do or say any thing that is contrarie to the word of God and yet they are to be thought well of For example Ionathan obeyed not his father Sauls commandement who charged him to persecute Dauid and therefore he is worthilie commended in the holy Scriptures For the duties of the first Table are alwaies to be preferred before the duties of the second Table This subiection therefore that children owe vnto their fathers ought in very deed to be vnto them as a ladder or staire to leade them to the reuerence and obedience of God who is our chiefe Father As children receiue of their parents three things to wit life maintenance and instruction so for these three they owe other three namely for life they owe loue for maintenance they owe obedience for instruction they owe reuerence For their life they must feruently loue their parents for their maintenance they must dutifully obey their parents as maisters and for their instruction they must cheerfully reuerence their parents as their tutors And further children must remember that the Lord hath giuen to them their parents to take of them their beginning of life and that they might nourish and bring them vp and that of rude and almost brutish things they might make them able to helpe and liue of themseluer yea and such mothers as are godly and vertuous do suffer and endure more paine and griefe in the bearing bringing vp and nourishing of their children then the fathers do So that greater are the pleasures and good turnes that Christian parents do for their children greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them and greater is the care griefe and trouble which they take for them then any man how learned soeuer he be is able to expresse And therefore if there were no other reasons or causes to moue children greatly to loue to esteeme well to obey to be kind faithfull and dutifull and to reuerence their parents and that with such a reuerence as commeth from the heart yet these were sufficient Maides and young women are to be put in minde and alwayes to remember that the best portion the greatest inheritance and the most precious iewell that they can bring with them on the marriage day is shamefastnesse the want whereof is most hurtfull in all women And therefore they must carefully shun and auoide all idle and wanton talke nice lookes dalliance and light countenance when they walke abroad or be in company A man needeth many things as wisedome eloquence knowledge of things remembrance skill in some trade or craft to liue by iustice courage and other things and qualities moe which were too long to rehearse and though some of these be lacking yet is he not to be misliked so that he haue many of them But in a maid no man will looke for eloquence great wit ordering of the Commonwealth prudence c. Finally no man will looke for any other thing of a woman but her honestie the which onely if it be lacking she is like a man that wanteth all that he should haue For in a maid her honestie and chastitie is in stead of all She verily may truly be said to be an euill keeper that cannot keepe one thing well committed to her keeping and put in trust to her with much commendation of words and especially which no man will take from her against her will nor touch it except she be willing her selfe The which thing onely if a woman remember it will cause her to take great heed vnto and to be a more warie and carefull keeper of her honestie which alone being lost though all other things be neuer so well and safe yet they perish together therewith because she that hath once lost her honestie should thinke there is nothing left Take from a maid or
woman her beautie take from her kindred riches comelinesse eloquence sharpnesse of wit cunning in her craft and giue her chastitie and you haue giuen her all things And on the other side giue her all these things iustly call her whore or naughtie-packe with that one word you haue taken all from her and left her bare and foule How precious a iewell chastitie is may easily be gathered from the example of Dinah the daughter of Leah which she bare vnto Iacob who when he heard that she was 〈◊〉 and defiled by Shechem the sonne of Hamer the Hiuite Lord of that countrie his mind was grieuously wounded with this great shame and reproch Children may not forget this duty for hauing receiued their being from their parents and being brought vp by them with great paines and much cost they should not so much as giue any liking much lesse speech of marriage without the consent of parents or of those which are set ouer them by their parents the duty of thankfulnesse requiring it at their hands And not onely in regard of thankful nesse is this duty to be performed to their parents but euen in regard of their owne inabilitie as being not experienced in such things as their wits being not so ripe as their parents they wanting wisedome and discretion to behaue themselues as they ought For some children know not what is meere and conuenient for them nor whether they be of meete age and condition to marrie Which inhabilitie being in the sonnes is much more in the daughters as being the weaker by nature and more vnable to prouide for themselues and therefore it is necessarie that they should not marrie without the consent and direction of their parents but that they be at their bestowing for to do otherwise is a sinne euen that nature it selfe abhorreth and all sound writers old and new do vtterly disallow And for so much as marriage is the meanes the which God himselfe hath ordained and sanctified for the propagation and increase of mankind that being taken in hand in his feare a godly seed being multiplied and growen vp here on earth the same may be blessed to the constitution and making of a Church the which may serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse when the same is taken in hand with the breach of his commandement so farre off is it that any blessing is to be hoped for that contrariwise his hot indignation wrath and heauy curse hangeth ouer that house and family where the parties which are the principall pillars and vpholders of the same are linked and tied together in such a band of wedlocke whose linkes and inclosings are not fastened and coupled together with the necessarie and lawfull assent and liking of the parents whose authoritie and consent ought to beare the chiefest sway and strike likewise the greatest stroke in this honorable 〈◊〉 And likewise as where marriage is begun and enterprised in the feare of God according to his word there God is well pleased there the parties so matched liue together in a ioyfull agreement linking the one to the other there God is honoured and serued in sinceritie and truth there the children when God giueth them with the rest of the family are instructed and brought vp in knowledge of religion and grounds of faith so on the other side the regard of that which God especially commandeth being shut out of our marriages there must needs ensue his dislike and displeasure there is a iarre and discord there Gods honour is neglected there household discipline and Christian instruction of such as belong vnto our charge goeth vtterly to wracke and is nothing at all regarded And no maruell for if where God blesseth all things go well and do prosper then consequently where he curseth there nothing thriueth hath good successe or goeth happily forward It may appeare by sundrie examples both before the Law was giuen and after that this is a duty required of children towards their parents namely to haue their consent in contracting of marriage as these places do plainely shew Gen. 21. 21. and 24. 3. c. and 29. 19. and 34. 4. Deut. 7. 3. Iudge 14. 1. c. 1. Cor. 7. 36. 38. Whereby is manifestly proued that children ought not to match without the consent of their parents First because it is against the law of nature Secondly because the parents haue authority ouer their children more then they haue ouer their seruants Thirdly because children are their fathers goods and riches and therefore they must not bestow themselues in marriage but must be bestowed of their parents Fourthly because parents haue authoritie ouer the vowes of their children Numb 30. 4. 5. 6. Fiftly if a mans daughter be enticed yet her father may refuse the contract being not auaileable or of any force without his consent Exod. 22. 16. 17. Besides all this what clearer proofe can we haue then the fift Commandement in the which children are commaunded to honour their fathers and mothers with a blessing promised to those which performe the same whereby we gather by the nature of contraries that there is a curse also belonging to all those children that shall dishonour them And in that God willeth that the parents by their children should be honoured he meaneth that they should in all humility and modestie reuerence them with all dutifull submission be obedient vnto them and with all willingnesse shew themselues thankfull for their creation education sustentation and all other benefites that vnder God they haue receiued from them being ready by all the meanes they possibly may to imitate and expresse towards them the nature of the Stroke whose property as they write of them is to prouide meate and feed their dams when through age they grow so old that they are not able to helpe themselues that is to say they must to their very vtmost seeke to make them recompence and requitall of some part of those vnrequitable paines the which their louing parents haue taken with them and make some amends for the vncounteruailable kindnesse that they haue shewed towards them But where they bestow themselues in marriage without the consent of their parents there they do fault and make a breach of dutie in all these three respects that is to say they neither reuerence obey nor shew themselues thankfull vnto them For reuerence consisteth in this that children carry towards their parents a certaine honest and modest shamefastnesse ioyned with a bashfull awfulnesse and standing in feare of them the which worketh in them a conceiuing of such opinion and estimation of them as that they haue an especiall respect and regard of them in doing or not doing of things rather of a care to please them then of a feare to offend them Obedience herein sheweth foorth it selfe in that willingly without murmuring or grudging they be willing to be ordered directed guided and ruled by their parents being ready to do all lawfull things which
God taketh away such obedient children before they be old yea before they come vnto mans estate whether it be lest malice should corrupt their hearts or to preuent some greater calamities wherein they might peraduenture be entangled or vpon whatsoeuer other considerations to receiue them into a better life he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children because he dealeth better then promise with them But as contrariwise this promise threatneth such children as will not honour their parents with short life so doth experience declare that many such children are of short and wretched life But if contrariwise such disobedient children do chance to liue long so farre is long life from being vnto them a blessing that on the contrarie it is an enforcement and increase of woe because they enlarge their iust condemnation so as they had bene better to haue died in their youth But howsoeuer it be God so disposeth thereof that by the effects we may perceiue that they which honour their parents are blessed and the others are accursed Eccles. 3. 2. c. And although some parents do not performe those duties towards their children enioyned them from the Lord yet such children as liue wickedly must know that they are not exempt and free from blame and guiltinesse before God For although they can say as the children in Ezekiels time said The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes and the childrens teeth are set on edge we say that although the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues And besides that it is sure that the soule that hath sinned shall die the death Seeing there be some young men and maids who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most the manifold corruptions offered abroad the vngodly examples abounding at home are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace that they escape safely in an holy course of life lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill reioycing at the least occasion of good things the rest who please themselues and hope to shelter their sinnes vnder their parents defaults are plainly left without excuse and are iuftly guilty of the bloud of their owne soules Labour therefore ye young men and maidens to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eyes and stay the mournfull and sorrowfull spirits of your tender mothers and consider in your selues if ye haue any nature in you and haue not buried the vse of common reason what a shame it is to be a shame vnto your fathers to whom ye ought to be a glory thinke ye wanton wits that haue not cast off all naturall affections what a contempt it is to be a contempt vnto your mothers to whom you haue offered as it were a despitefull violence in that ye are a corrasiue to their griefe when as ye should haue bene a crowne to their comforts Learne therefore ye children that it is one speciall propertie of a liberall and ingenious nature to be carefull to liue that in time ye may be a glory to your fathers and a ioy to your mothers which the Lord for his Christs sake grant These precepts and admonitions before said are as a summary of the duties of children to their parents And therefore it resteth that they vnderstanding them do pray vnto God to giue them grace to put them in practise to his glory and their good and saluation Lastly let them remember that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers then such as parents de powre forth for their children As they are therefore to feare their curse for offending them so must they by honouring and pleasing them seeke to be blessed in their prayers which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen as the blessing of Isaacke to his sonne Iacob doth manifestly declare Gen. 27. 28. 29. What duties Maisters and Mistresses owe to their seruants THis dutie teacheth them that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants which dutie consisteth in foure points 1. First that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse 2. Secondly that by diligent instruction and good example they bring vp their seruants and housholds in honestie and comely manners and in all vertue 3. Thirdly that they ought to instruct their apprentises and seruants in the knowledge of their occupations and trades euen as parents would teach their owne children without all guile fraud delaying or concealing 4. Lastly when correction is necessary that then they giue it them with such discretion pittie and desire of their amendment as louing parents vse to deale with their deare children remembring alwayes that they haue a maister in heauen before whom they must make an account for their doings These foure points are in effect poken of before in the dutie of parents For so much as maisters and housholders are to their seruants and apprentises in place of fathers they are hereby admonished that they ought not to with-hold and keepe 〈◊〉 their due wages to exact of them to oppresse them or to reward their well-doing and good deseruing slenderly but to be carefull of their seruants good estate as of their owne not onely in prouiding for them wholsome meate drink and lodging and otherwise to helpe them comfort them and relieue and cherish them as well in 〈◊〉 as in health liberally to reward their good deseruings as farre as Christianity liberality and equality shall binde them but also that they be carefull that they liue honestly vertuously and Christianly And further they may not grieue their seruants with too much labour but alwayes remember that they are not beasts but men so that they ought quietly to gouerne them and also quietly to chide them when they shall neglect their duty lest they be prouoked with their hard words remembring that they also haue a Lord and maister in heauen with whom there is no respect of persons Ephes. 6. 9. And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithfull labour of their seruants and pay their couenants in a fit and conuenient time lest being compelled by necessitie they should steale Maisters ought not as tyrants to vse their seruants as their horses and asses but to deale with them louingly Christianly because they are all members of one body whereof Christ Iesus is the head There be some maisters that vse their seruants and apprentises more like beasts then like men and their owne members for which their so doing let them assure themselues they must yeeld to God their maister a straight account Oh that Christian Maisters and Mistresses would learne and so practise the example of Iobs good and vpright dealing with his seruants which was farre from rigor For he saith If I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant and of my maide when they did contend with me that is when they thought themselues euill intreated by me what then shall I do when God standeth
21. 2. Tim. 3. 2. 3. 4. 5. 2 The riches of the body Beautie Chuse a wife for vertue onely Pro. 19. 14. Seek no match in marriage aboue thy 〈◊〉 Equalitie in marriage to be respected Of the choise of a wise A good wife is aboue all things to be craued of God by prayer Heb. 13. 4. Ephes. 5. 25. 26. 27. Three causes of marriage Psal. 51. 5. The second cause wedlocke lawfull for such as haue not the gift of chastitie The third cause This is often found most true that such as are contemners of marriage are most offenders against marriage and liue most vnchastly 21. Pet. 2. 7. By honour is meant that the husband is to sustaine and relieue the wants of his wife to support vphold beare with her infirmities as the weaker vessell Besides the prayers had with their family they must pray priuately Gen. 25. 21. 1. Cor. 7. 3. 4. 5. Col. 3. 19. Anger in a husband is a vice The roote of bitternesse to be weeded out by the spade of patience How when the husband ought to reproue Faults sometimes must be couered with loue Not to take vnkindnesse for euery trifle Ephe. 5. 25. 26 27. 28. 29. The husband is to the wife in Gods stead Husbands may 〈◊〉 be rigorous 〈◊〉 their wiues especially when they be new married Prou. 20. 3. The wife is not to be vsed or intreated as a handmaid or seruant but as a fellow Prou. 8. 7. 14 9 15. 5. 18. 2. 27. 22. Prou 9. 9. 19. 25. Gen 16. 6. The falling out of louers is a renewing of loue That man is miserable that is married vnto a foolish woman Husbands must prouide things necessarie for the house A mans house will continue by prouision before hand and by order in his expences 1. Tim. 5. 8. But where disorder is in a house it cannot endure Spare in time and spend in time for sparing is a rich purse The honour of the husband dependeth on the wife 1. Cor. 11. 7. The third point Can. 4. 9. 10. 1. Cor 9. 5. 1. Pet. 3 7. 1. Cor. 11. 3. Ephes. 3. 23. Ephes. 5. 28. 29 1. Sam. 1. 8. Gal. 6. 2. Gen. 1. 28. Gen. 2. 18. The causeswhy the husband should loue his wife The husband must loue his wiues kinsfolkes Gen. 26. 8. 9. 1. Cor. 7. 4. Duties common both to the husband the wife 1. Cor. 7. 2. Gen. 1. 18. 1. Cor. 7. 5. Ephes. 5. 15. Tit. 2. 5. Mat. 5. 44. Gen. 6. 2. Psal. 38. 22. Mat. 19. 5. Ephes. 5. 31. Gen. 31. 4. 5. c. Math. 19. 6. Pre. 2. 27. Mal. 2. 14. Mat. 19. Leuit. 20. 10. Ioh. 8. 5. Mat. 19. 8. Mat. 19. 6. 1. Cor. 7. 12. 1 Cor. 7. 11. Obiection Answer 1. Cor. 7. 29. 1. Pet. 3. 7. 1. Pet. 3. 7. Gen. 30. 1. 1. Sam. 1. Gen. 16. The best pollicie in marriage is to begin well 1. King 12. 7. 8. c. Iudg. 19. 3. Prou. 15. 1. Gal 5. 9. Gen. 22. 11. Psal. 133. 1. Leuit. 24. 5. Mat. 12. 25. Gen. 19. 33. Gen. 18. 3. Pro. 12. 4. Gen. 2. 23. Ephes. 5. 29. 1. Pet. 3. 1. Ephes. 5. 22. Col. 3. 18. 1. Cor. 7. 2. Wiues must be seruiceable obedient vnto their husbands and stand in a reuerend awe of them Ephes. 5. 24. Cheerefull in countenence Gen. 27. 9. Gen. 2. 23. 24 Math 19. 5. 1. Cor. 6. 16. Eihes 5. 31. How the wife ought to behaue her selfe vnto her husband Rom. 12. 15. 2. King 2. 6. Gal. 6. 2. 1. King 21. 5. 1. King 14. 4. Gen. 12. 1. Gen. 2. 18. 1. Cor. 1. 27. 1. Pet. 3. 1. 2. King 5. 3. 49. Hest. 7. 3. 〈◊〉 32. 21. 〈◊〉 10 19. Prou. 5. 18. 19. 1. Sam. 16. 23. 1. Sam. 25. 3. Gen. 38. 4. Gen. 33. 1. Why wiues are called huswiues Tit. 2. 5. Pro. 7. 12. 2. King 30. Gen. 18. 9. 2. King 4. 22. Ephe. 5. 22. 23. 〈◊〉 Cor. 11. 14. 34. Gen. 18. 12. 1. Pet. 3. 6. Ephes. 5. 24. Gen. 3. 1. 1. Tim. 2. 14. Num. 30. 7. Pro. 14. 1. 18. 22. 19. 14. 31. all The wife must keepe a good tongue When the wife doth hold her peace she keepes the peace The cause of domesticall combats Silence becometh a woman Lacke of knowledge of Gods word is the principall cause why wiues do not their duties to their husbands One heart and one will How the loue faithfulnesse and dutie of married folkes may be kept increased They must secretly keepe no euill will in their minds but tell their griese 1. Sam. 25. 36. 37. 1. Cor. 7. 10. 11 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. Mat. 19. 6. Mat. 19. 9. Luke 16. 18. The wife ought to obey her husband in all things that be honest and agreeable to Gods word Gen. 3. 16. Hest. 1. 20. 22. Numb 30. 7. 8 9. 1. Pet. 3. 6. It is a speciall dutie of a mother to giue her children sucke her selfe 1. Tim. 5. 10. Gen. 22. 7. 1. Sam. 1. 23. Exod. 8. Cant. 8. 1. Psal. 22. 9. Mat. 2. 14. Luke 2. 7. 12. 1. Tim. 5. 10. Stepfathers stepmothers their duties The husband must so praise his first wife she her first husband as it be not done to the offence or reproch of either to the other Iealousie which is the suspecting of adulterie in the married parties ought wisely and carefully to be suppressed in both parties without apparent matter The very name of stepfather stepmother teacheth them their dutie 1. King 12. 13. 2. Sam. 2. 7. As wiues ought to go comely plainly and handsomly in their 〈◊〉 so they must in any wise beware of pride riot or excesse therein Pride is hatefull before God and man be not therefore proud for thou art but dust ana ashes Prou. 16. 18. Titus 1. 3. Temperance in apparell The dutie containeth foure points Namely in teaching or instructing them in religion in manners good example of life and skill of an occupation The first point The children of Christians ought not to be called by any papish name We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names Iosua 10. 3. The name profiteth none in whom vertue is not conuinced Luk. 1. 59. 2. 21. Proper names are also giuen vnto vs for this vse and end that is to distinguish between man man Instructing correcting prayer make good children and happy parents Deut. 6. 7. 8 4. 9. 11. 19. Psal. 78. 5. 6. 78. Iosu 4. 6. Exod. 12. 26. 27. Gen. 18. 19. 1. 〈◊〉 28. 9. Act. 10. 2. 2. Tim. 1. 5. Parents must performe their dutie to their children moderately with great grauity and authority Which is done by example Fruits are wont to take their shape nature of the tree Deut. 6. 5. 6. 7. 31. 13. 1. King 17. 10. c. 2. King 4. 1. c. Ioh. 4. 53. Luke 19. 9. Act. 10. 44. 2. Tim. 1. 5. 3. 15. Ezech
16. 20. 21. Psal. 127. 3. See more of this point in the vse and necessity of catechizing The second point Deut. 6. 10. Exed 12. 26. 13. 14. The proper dutie of good parents to their children is to 〈◊〉 them soberly to keepe them vender obedience and to teach them good manners Prou. 23. 13. 19. 18. 19. 15. 17. 22. 15. 13. 24. 1. Sam. 2. 12. 3. 12. 13. 14. 1. Kin. 1. 5. 6. 2. Kin. 2. 23. 24 How children should be brought vp Hold thy children in awe and they shall haue thee in reuerence Prou. 30. 25. and 6. 0 7. Mat. 6. 19. sal 127. 3. lat 12. 33. Reasons Gen. 5. 3. Prou. 18. 21. 1. Sam. 9. 2. c. and. 16. 11. Psal. 78. 70. 71. 1. Kin. 19. 19. Amos 1. 2. Good manners in speech Good manners in gesture 〈◊〉 3. 1. Ioh. 2. 4. Mat. 18. 10. Esay 5. 8. Psal. 37. 35. 30. Psal. 111. 10. Prou. 9. 10. Psal. 19. 7. 8. 119. 105. Prou. 22. 6. Mat. 21. 15. 16. Psal. 82. 2 King 2. 13. 2. Sam. 16. 15. c. 1. King 1. 5. Mat. 5. 8. 1. Thes. 4. 7. Luk. 1.74.75 1. Pet. 5. 8. I am 4. 7. Pro. 18. 10. Psal. 50. 15. Prou. 1. 10. 11 Rom. 12. 2. 1. Ioh 215. Psal. 51. 5. Ephes. 2. 3. Col. 1. 12. 13. 2. Cor. 6. 1. Rom. 13. 12. Esay 14. 12. Zoph 1. 8. Gen. 6. 5. 8. 21. Mat. 15. 19. 2. Sam. 15. all 18. 35. Ill bringing vp is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit Two things which much hinder good education The fewer the children the more diligently to be cared for that they be well brought vp The second cause which 〈◊〉 good education 2. Sam. 18. 33. Gen. 4. 2. 25. Gen. 21. 2. Gen. 30. 24. 1. Sam. 2. 9. 2. Sam. 22. 24. Luke 1. 13. Children profit more by good example in one month then by instruction in a whole yeare Obiection Answer Zuke 3. 29. Youth must thinke on death betimes to the end to liue to well die well Marriage with Papists c. Gen. 23. 24. Gen. 2. 24. How should it marriage 〈◊〉 well whē 〈◊〉 bridegroome 〈◊〉 such a one 〈◊〉 whom he cannot say God speed because she is one of Gods friends 2. Ioh. 10. 1. Cor. 7. 39. But how do they marry in the Lord who marry the Lords enemies Gen. 6. 2. As the Iewes might not marry with the Cananites so Christians may not marry with them which are like Cananites Gen. 24. 3. 28. 1. Mal. 2. 11. Ezr 9. 14. If adulterie may separate marriage shall not idolatr y hinder marriage which is worse then it Parents may not giue their daughters to a man 〈◊〉 Gen. 34. 14. Miserable is that mā which is fettered with a woman that liketh not his religion He feareth not sinne which doth not shun occasions and he is worthy to be snared which leadeth himselfe into temptation so maketh a trap for himselfe Luk. 11. 4. The wife must be meete as God said Gen. 2. 14. But how is she meete if the husband be a Christian and sh e a Papist 1. Cor. 7. 1. Gen. 18. 1. 2. Iud. 14. 1. 2. 3. * It is the parents duty to giue their children that which may helpe them in this life to counsell or to prouide them fit and religious marriages 2. Cor. 12. 14. Gen. 4. 2. 3. 4. Ruth 3. 1. When parents do abuse their authority Parents must not match their children onely for carnall respects When parents do marry their daughters to men of vnderstanding they shall performe a weightie worke Colos. 3. 21. Parents ought to deale sincerely in the choise for their children In prouision of matches for their children parents ought to begin with prayer The third point Examples do much more perswade then words 〈◊〉 must 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 not by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 As the father beginneth so it is like the son will proceed Gal. 6. 7. Mat. 18. 7. 1. Cor. 15. 33. The last point Gen. 3. 19. Ezech. 16. 49. Prou. 12. 11. 18. 9. 1. Tim. 5. 10. 11. 2. Thes. 3. 10. 11. Idlenesse bringeth much euill Mat. 12. 36. To learne that Science which they be most apt for Obiection Answer Pro. 3. 13. 14. 15. Why some men bring not vp their children to any good perfection in learning Luke 16. 27. Prou. 22. 6. 〈◊〉 of the eldest 〈◊〉 is athing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chron. 21. 3. Exod. 13. 1. 2. 34. 19. 20. Num. 3. 13. 18. 16. Deut. 21. 18. c. Gen. 35. 22. 1. Chron. 5. 1. a Eph 6. 1. 2. 3. Colos. 3. 20. b Leuit. 19. 3. Num. 12. 14. c Pro. 15. 5. 1. Tim. 5. 4. Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Gen. 47. 12. Fathers and mothers are to their children in Gods stead Exod. 20. 12. Deut. 5. 15. By honour is meant all kind of duty which children owe to their parents 〈◊〉 23. 39. Mat. 23. 9. 1. King 2. 19. 1. King 2. 20. Ioh. 849. 〈◊〉 9. 22. The honor due to parents Childrens dutie is from their beginning to their ending to be subiect obedient and helpfull to their parents Mat. 15. 4. 5. 6 Exod. 21. 15. 17. Leuit. 20. 9. Pro. 20. 20. 30. 17. Deut. 〈◊〉 16. What children do to their parents they do to God so that they may not purloine or diminish any of their substāce Pro. 28. 24. Mat. 7. 12. Mat. 7. 2. 1. Sam. 20. 28. c 22. 17. Dan. 3. 18. Act. 4. 19. Mat. 23. 9. When a woman loseth her honestie then hath she lost her chiese treasure Gen. 34. 12. Children may not marry without the cōsent agreement of their 〈◊〉 so that an vnlawfull promise made by the child may lawfully be broken It is a sweete wedding whē the father and the mother bring ablessing to the feast and a heauie vnion which is cursed the firs̄t day that it is knit 1. Sam. 18. 1. Contracts void without the consent of parents Children 〈◊〉 are to pray vnto God to direct their parents in a godly choyce and to 〈◊〉 their minds to accept of the same 〈◊〉 9. 22. 2. Sam. 15. 1. c. 18. 14. Deut 21. 18. 19. 20. 21. Exod. 20. 12. Ephes 6. 2. Deut. 28. 15. c. Leuit. 26. 14. c. Gen. 46 29. c. and 48. 〈◊〉 12. Luke 2. 51. Deut. 5. 16. Exed 20. 12. Ephes. 6. 2. Psal. 115. 17. 18. Esay 38. 19. Ephes. 6. 3. The housholder is called Pater Familias that is a father of a familie because he should haue a fatherly care ouer his seruants as if they were his children Maisters and Dames ought moderatly to vse their authoritie ouer theirseruants Iames 5. 4. Coloss 4. 1. Ioh 13 13. 14. 15. Deut. 24 14. 15 Mat. 8 5. 6. 〈◊〉 7. 2. God made eu ry weeke one day of rest wherein seruants should be as free as their maisters Gen. 2. 2. As the laborer which worketh but one day is worthy his hire euen so much more the 〈◊〉 that 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 eueryday Luke 10. 7. As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon so God hath bound masters that they should not oppresse their seruants 2. Sam. 18. 5. Iob 31. 13. 14. 15. For a good man sauh Salemon Pro. 12. 10. will be mercifull to his beast therefore he ought to be m re mercifull to his seruants being his brethren Reuiling words and vnreasonable 〈◊〉 doth much more hurt to seruants then good 〈◊〉 16. 17. Exod. 20. 10. 〈◊〉 5. 14. 1. Tim. 5. 8. Seruants do rather imitate the works they see their maisters do then the words which they heare them speake Luke 7. 8. Ephes. 6. 9. The couetous wan in gaining riches loseth himselfe Psal. 39. 6. That which thou canst do conueniently thy selfe commit it not to another Masters ought to make good choyce of their seruants Gen. 30 26. 27. c. and 29. 2. 3. 4. 5 6. 23. 23. Esay 6. 6. It is a rare thing for a maister to bring his seruant to be godly who is not godly him selfe Reuel 5. 10. Act. 16. 31. 32 18. 8. 1. Cor. 1. 16. Ge 18. 17. 18. Phil. 11. 16. Gen. 29. Iosua 24. 15. Psal. 101. 7. Act. 10. 2. They must keepe no idle prophane superstitious nor disordered 〈◊〉 in their house Ephcs. 6. 4. Masters ought to haue a tender care of their seruants in their sicknesse Mat. 8. 5. 6. Luk. 7. 1. The wiues behauiour with seruants The maister must correct his seruants and the mistris her maids Eph 6.5.6.7.8 Col. 3.22.23.24 Tit. 2.9.10 1 Pet. 2.18.19.20.21 1. Tim. 6. 1. 2. Luk. 17. 7. 8. 9 1. King 5. 13. The property of a good seruant Gen. 29. 18. 19. 20. 39. 5. c. Gen. 16. 7. 8. 〈◊〉 Phil. 10. c. How far forth seruants ought to obey their maisters Mat. 8 9. And among seruants to helpe and ease of one another necessarie Seruants must to the vttermost of their power seek the commodity benefit of their maisters Mat. 7. 2.
and learne that if they will conuey Gods blessings to their posterities then they must do and performe the duties belonging thereunto Yea let them if they be loath to conuey Gods iudgements to their children carefully auoyd the meanes vnto it And surely as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death with Simeon to depart in peace leauing their wiues children and seruants members of Christ spouses to Christ children to God and seruants to the Lord so in extremitie of death no one thing will be more grieuous vnto parents and housholders then the Lord hauing giuen them the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation that 〈◊〉 owne tormented consciences shall presse them in as much as they haue helped their children and seruants forward to their damnation and so which is more fearefull they shall haue them spewing and foming on their faces continuall curses in hell then accusing them for euer to be the murtherers of their soules and cut-throats of their saluation Is it any maruell if housholders many times find small obedience lesse dutifulnesse and faithfulnesse at the hands of their children and seruants seeing they omit and leaue vndone the performance of these so Christian duties towards them herein expressed and enioyned of the Lord For so doth God often leaue manifest tokens of his wrath in punishing disobedience with disobedience How can any maister of a houshold whatsoeuer he be looke to haue his familie trustie and faithfull vnto him and yet he himselfe is faithlesse to God Doth he maruell that his children and seruants feare not him whereas he himselfe feareth not the Lord Will he maintaine his authoritie ouer those vnder his charge and he himselfe doth not yeeld obedience vnto the authoritie of God his Creator Moreouer it is manifest that the good man of the house by planting Gods religion in his familie shall not a little aduance and set forward his owne priuate profit and commoditie For wicked and vngodly seruants are for the most part loyterers pickers and deceitfull whereas on the other side godly seruants are iust and faithfull whom in his absence he may trust to do such businesse and worke as he willeth them to do If maisters of families be carefull and desirous as in conscience they ought that their wiues children and seruants should reforme themselues and endeuour to practise such duties as do appertaine and belong vnto them then they must likewise be diligent and carefull to reforme themselues both inwardly and outwardly in such points and duties as hitherto they haue left vndone otherwise they may iustly say vnto them Phisitian healc your selfe er why do you will vs to do that which you do not practise your selfe For as one candle cannot light another if it selfe be out euen so a maister of a houshold shall not reforme those of his charge and inflame them with the loue of God and godlinesse if he himselfe be voyde of the same Let euery maister of a houshold therefore say and performe with Ioshua I and my familie will serue the Lord Ios. 24. 15. And likewise let euery Christian Ladie Mistris and Dame say with Hester I and my maides will do the like Hest. 4. 16. And so no doubt God will powre his blessings on them and theirs in this life and euerlasting happinesse on them in the life to come Touching the Booke it selfe I will not say any thing to the commendation thereof but onely this That I am assured that if such duties as are mentioned therein were duly and carefully practised of all such as are named in it then no doubt vertue and godly religion would greatly flourish to the aduancement of Gods glory and also sinne and wickednesse would then decrease and fall downe to the vtter subuersion and ouerthrow of Sathans kingdome This Treatise I confesse is not garnished with eloquence nor full of great cunning nor beautified with flowers of mans wisedome neither yet doth it discourse or treate of high or darke things neither is it stuffed with subtill questions and arguments nor indited with Rhetoricall and eloquent stile as those commonly be which are propounded and set forth to the world rather for boasting and vaine-glory sake then for any desire to edifie and to do others good but it is plaine and without any great gaynesse yet so full of good necessary and wholesome instructions that whosoeuer readeth and marketh it with a right disposed minde and willing to practise it without respect to any other things then God the reformation of his life and the 〈◊〉 of his 〈◊〉 which is the onely worke which Christians must leuell at he may reape singular profit thereby And vndoubtedly it may well be said that vnto true Christians good and holy bookes are as ladders to climbe vp vnto heauen as sparkes to kindle the 〈◊〉 of the Spirit when it is quenched or waxen cold in them and as props to stay vp their faith that it may increase Praying therefore your Worships to accept of my dutifull good will and to pardon my boldnesse I ceasse to adde any further things beseeching God of his endlesse mercy for Christs sake to strengthen you still in that good and happie course of his word and all other good learning to furnish you all abundantly with all spirituall and heauenly knowledge to the carefull practising of the same in the fruits of your most holy and blessed callings to the aduancement of the glory of our God and to your owne euerlasting comfort in Christ Iesus So be it Your Worships in all Christian dutifulnesse most willing R. C. A GODLY FORME OF HOVSHOLD GOVERNMENT CAREFVLLY TO be practised of all Christian Housholders AN Houshold is as it were a little Commonwealth by the good gouernment whereof Gods glorie may be aduanced and the commonwealth which standeth of seuerall families benefited and all that liue in that familie receiue much comfort and commoditie But this gouernment of a Familie is not verie common in the world for it is not a thing that men can stumble on by chance By Wisedome saith Salomon is an house builded and with vnderstanding it is established and with knowledge shall the chambers thereof be filled with all precious and pleasant riches that is shall obtaine all kind of blessings See also Pro. 28. 2 by which two places it is manifest y such families as are not ordered by hap hazard or as it falles but by wisedome discretion and counsell do prosper in inward outward goods and endure long When we speake of wisedome we do not meane that this gouernment can be in all points exercised by naturall reason and wisedome for mans wisedome reacheth but vnto one point and that the least of that which family-gouernment tendeth vnto But the wisedome that we speake of is not naturall but fetched from the fountaine of all wisedome God himselfe who by his word giueth vnto vs pure light to walke by not in the Church
vs and all our familie in the night from outward dangers and giueth vs freedome from feares and terrors and from Sathans rage and also giueth vs rest comfortable sleepe for the refreshing of our fraile bodies is it not meete we should begge it at his hand by prayer before we prepare our selues to rest and praise him for it when we rise from it Againe seeing that euery day we are subiect to innumerable dangers which we know not of and both wisedome and strength to follow good and honest callings and also the blessing vpon our labours to make vs prosper by them are from God alone should we not begin the day with feare vnto God for his gracious protection and for his mercifull blessing of vs And seeing meates and drinks are sanctified vnto vs on Gods part by the word and ours by prayer doubtlesse though God hath by his word sanctified them they are vnholy vnto vs when we do not for our part sanctifie them by faithfull prayer and thanksgiuing And this was Dauids practise Psal. 55. 1. Euening and morning and at noone tide will I pray and make a noise and he will heare my voice If any say it is sufficient for the gouernour to charge euery one in his familie to do it priuately by himselfe so might the Prince say it is enough to do as Darius did to charge euery one in all his dominions to worship no God but Daniels God Yet godly Princes thought it their dutie to set vp the worship ofGod in their dominions and to take order that God might be worshipped publickely and ioyntly of all in their land So did Iob for his houshold not onely bid his children pray to God by thēselues but he appointed set times of praying together and sacrificing and commanded his children to come prepared thereunto Againe if the maister lay the matter vpon the consciences of such as be of his family then if they be negligent God shall haue no honour and worship in that family But we reade of Abraham that wheresoeuer he became he built an altar to God where God should be worshipped ioyntly in his familie If God should measure out his goodnesse to thee as thou measurest honour and glory to him in what a case wert thou He doth giue a charge to his Angels to keepe thee he commandeth the earth to allow thee meate for thy sustenāce and his Commandement is an effectuall word that maketh them to do the thing that he chargeth them withall Wilt thou now onely bid thy seruant or sonne to serue and honour God and not see that he do it and helpe him in it Then thou doest not measure out vnto God as thou wouldest haue him measure to thee This duty then belongeth to a Christian head of a familie to worship God with all his family and to take order that when he shal be absent vpon necessarie occasions it may be done reuerently and onely by some one in his family that by reason of wit and age may be meete for it The neglect of this dutie letteth into families many grieuous enormities and outward miseries while God in his iustice refuseth to blesse such as by their carelesnesse in seruing of him do shew that they take not him to be the author of all wel-fare to soule or body but thinke to do well enough without him or else thinke to haue their turnes serued without requesting The third dutie which the chiefe gouernour must performe to all in his familie is priuate instruction and dealing with them in matters of religion for the building of them vp in true faith and for the inuring and bringing of them to a conscience towards God that they may not onely know and professe religion but also feele and shew the power of religion in their liues This dutie hath these specials belonging to it First a familiar and plaine opening vnto them the principles of religion after the manner of a Catechisme This duty the holy Ghost layeth vpon parents Ephes. 6. 1. Traine them vp in doctrine and holy precepts drawne out-of the word The like was commanded to parents in the old law Let these words which I command thee this day be in thine heart and whet them vpon thy children and speake of them when thou sittest in thy house when thou walkest in the way when thou liest downe and when thou risest vp c. So that it is not enough to bring thy children to be catechized at the Church but thou must labour with them at home after a more plaine and easier manner of instruction that so they may the better profit by the publike teaching Looke Prouerbs 22. 6. Thou euen by breeding thy children hast helped them into corruption and 〈◊〉 damnable estate how oughtest thou then by all holy care and paines taken with them in teaching them the knowledge of God in Christ to helpe them out of it that they may not be firebrands of hell And for seruants seeing they spend their strength wearie out their bodies and bestow their dayes and yeares in seeking thy profit and ease oughtest not thou then to seeke the saluation of their soules Salomon saith The iust man hath regard to his beast much more shouldest thou haue regard to thy seruant who is made according to the image of God with thee and is redeemed with as deare a price as thou art And thy care for him should not stretch to his body alone but especially to his soule that seeing his calling will not suffer him to vse so many and so often meanes for the good of it as were requisite he might herein be helped by thee The second speciall is an acquainting them with the Scriptures by reading them daily in thy house in their hearing and directing them to marke and make vse of those things which are plaine and easie according to their capacitie So Timothie was trained vp by his parents in the Scriptures so that he knew them from a child that is was made acquainted with them by reading them and being instructed in them according to his capacitie This shal make them the fitter to heare and profit by the publike ministerie whereas the neglect of this duty makes them vnable to heare and vnderstand the Preacher when he citeth examples or quoteth texts out of sundry places of Scripture The helpe that their family might reape by it should make them carefull in this reading of the Scripture The third is a diligent care and regard that they profit by the publike ministery of the word and Sacraments euery one according to their capacitie And this duty requireth that they should not onely looke that they do diligently frequent the preaching of the word and carefully come to the Sacraments in due time but also that they shew them how and put them in mind of preparing themselues to the word and Sacraments as lob did his sonnes They must prepare them to heare the word by willing them
which haue not receiued the gift of abstinence and are fit for procreation are called and commanded to marrie and therefore may lawfully enter a Contract of the same But are none else meete for marriage We answer that no other is called commanded or warranted by God to make Contract with any of these meet ones because they are vnable to performe the principall duties of marriage As for children vnder age they are altogether vnfit to take vpon them this honourable estate and therefore debarred by Gods Commandement from making any promise or Contract If they haue done it it is but a meere prophanation of this holy ordinance worthy great punishment and also to be broken if that being come to yeares of discretion and state of mariage they do not by wisedome and religion supply all that was wanting in their former rash attempt to the full contentation of all that haue interest in them As for those that haue receiued the gift of continency they are called counselled to chastity during the whole time of that gift for so saith our Sauiour Christ All men cannot receiue this thing aue they to whom it is giuen Matth. 19. 11. And againe He that is able to receiue this let him receiue it So the Apostle saith It is good for them if they abide euen as I do 1. Cor. 7. 7. Againe Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife So likewise are those that are borne chast or made chast by men or by themselues for the kingdome of heauen But you will say What if any of these do make a Contract and marry We answer first if they be vtterly vnfit for marriage their contract is of no validitie and may be broken by superiour authority but if they be fit for it we say with the Apostle Art thou loosed from a wife seeke not a wife but if thou takest a wife thou sinnest not and if a virgine marrie she sinneth not c. Last of all as consanguinity and affinitie do restraine and bind from this former Contract and marriage so likewise do naturall frigidity and coldnesse infancie incurable diseases that depriue men of all fitnesse for the vse of marriage So as if any such by fraud ignorance or any other sinister meanes be contracted it is nothing and the parties may be lawfully separated because they were neuer ioyned together in the Lord but against the Lord. And here when we say meete and fit to marrie one with another there would be a wise and holy regard had of equality in yeares of agreement in religion or similitude in nature and manners outward estate and condition qualitie of person and such like necessary circumstances For what is more vnmeete then for an old person to promise to be contracted to a young one for an infidell to Contract with a beleeuer for a good natured and well mannered with a crooked and froward person for a Prince with a begger For although all these do not annihilate and make voyde the Contract altogether yet such Contracts cannot be in the Lord. And thus much shall suffice to haue taught touching the fitnesse of Marriage Now concerning the freedome and libertie it is cleere that those alone haue liberty freedome to Contract who haue liberty to marry Now if we will know who those be they are diuersly described and noted in Leu. 18. where certaine degrees as well in affinity as in consanguinity are expresly forbidden so that if such parties shall Contract themselues together their Contract is vaine and a meere nullity such as ought to be broken and punished Againe euery one either betrothed or maried is bounden and tied from contracting with any other for that were nothing else but to promise grosse and beastly adultery And as the Apostle teacheth that the wife is bound by the Law as long as her husband liueth so likewise is the betrothed wife insomuch as if any such shall Contract themselues with another it is a meere nullity and wicked prophanation of Gods ordinance and ought vpon knowledge thereof to be broken and punished And thus we see what manner of persons the Lord hath called and commanded to marry and who they be that are meete and free to marrie together and who not The last point is the consent and allowance of their parents which though it be very materiall and necessary yet it is not the sole forme or formall cause which maketh a true Contract For if the parents should yeeld their consent to their children being neither meete nor free to be married together it were nothing such a Contract though warranted by parents cōsent ought to be broken by the Magistrate and both parents and children are to be punished For this cause we haue not said simply and allowed but therefore allowed so to do because consent of parents to such children as are not meete and fit to be married together doth not make that Contract good true and inuiolable which neuerthelesse wanting their consents though in other respects neuer so good is a meere nullity cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institution and guilt of adulterie Now by parents we vnderstand not onely the naturall parents but such as by the law of nature and of God supply their places as grandfathers great grand-fathers vncles aunts great vncles and aunts brethren sisters kins-men and kins-women Magistrates and those to whose families the parties do especially belong For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of parents Neither may we exempt out of this number Gardians Maisters and such to whom the continuall custodie and tuition of any is lawfully committed For if such be commanded to prouide for them as parts of their owne families there is no reason why they should not especially be respected as well in bestowing them abroad out of their familie as they were in taking them into it For if their consent be necessarie at their coming in why should they go out without their consent Further we say their parents and not his or her parents because parents on both sides ought necessarily to consent and allow their children to betroth themselues For this is the priuiledge not of some parents but of all and in that they be parents Moreouer we say allowed and not required neither commanded nor yet exhorted or instructed so to do because that albeit the parents do neither call their children to this Contract neither command them neither require them neither exhort them all which notwithstanding they ought to do yet if they do but onely allow them and giue them bare consent that they shall contract themselues it is enough for the tying of the knot and the substance of the Contract And to prooue that this contract is necessary we need no more reasons but that which the Apostle setteth downe saying of the father Let him do what he will By which words he putteth it in the will and power of the father either to
The husbands dutie is to loue their wiues as themselues of which loue the loue of Christ towards his Church is a liuely patterne And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie the Apostle willeth them to marke what manner of Church it was when Christ ioyned it to himselfe and he doth not onely not loath all her filth and vncleannesse but ceasseth not to wipe the same a way with his cleannesse vntill he haue wholly purged it and made it holy And seeing that euery man loueth himselfe euen of nature Therefore saith the Apostle the husband shall striue against nature if he loue not his wife which he proueth first by the mysticall knitting of Christ and the Church together and then by the ordinance of God who saith that the husband and wife are one that is not to be diuided The husband is alwayes to remember that he be not fierce rigorous hastie nor disordered with his wife for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them If the wife do not learne to keepe silence and the husband to haue patience it shall rather be the dwelling of fooles then the house of friends For where the husband wanteth wisedome to gonerne and the wife patience to suffer they shall be forced it is to be feared in continuance of time to part house or else euery day to be iarring and brawling Euery married man ought also to remember this that either his wife is wise and religious or else she is foolish and irreligious If he be matched with a wife that is sottish foolish and ignorant of God and his word it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her and if he be married to one that is wise and religious and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word then one sharpe and discret word is sufficient because if a woman be not corrected by that which is wisely and discretly said she will neuer amend by that which is threatned When the wise shall be inflamed with ire wrath malice or enuie the husband ought to suffer her and after the heate is somewhat cooled and the flame quenched then mildly to admonish her for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband then it is likely that there wil often follow brawlings and quarrels betwixt them And as the husband ought at all times to shun brawlings and quarrellings with his wife so much more he ought to auoid the same when they shall be newly married For if at the beginning she shall haue cause to abhorre and hate him then late or neuer will she returne to loue him faithfully Therefore at the beginning of their marriage the wise and discret husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him for if then their loue be fixed and truely setled one towards the other although afterwards they come to some houshold words and grudgings yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnesse and not of old rooted hatred and therefore the sooner remedied For loue and hatred be mortall enemies and the first of them that taketh place in the heart there it remaineth a dweller for the most part all the dayes of life in such wise that the first loue may depart from the person but yet it will neuer be forgotten at the heart But if the wife from the beginning of marriage do take the heart to loath and abhorre her husband then a miserable life wil follow to them both For although the husband shall haue power to force his wife to feare and obey him yet he shall neuer haue strength to force her to loue him Some husbands do boast themselues to be serued feared and obeyed in their houses because the wife that abhorreth doth feare and serue her husband but she that indeed liketh doth loue him and cherish him As the wife ought with great care to endeauour and by all good meanes to labour to be in fauour and grace with her husband so likewise the husband ought to feare to be in disgrace and disliking with his wife for if she do once determine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking vpon another then many inconueniences will ensue and follow The husband ought not to be satisfied with the vse of his wiues body but in that he hath also the possession of her will and affections for it sufficeth not that they be married but that they be well married and liue Christianly together and be very well contented And therefore the husband that is not beloued of his wife holdeth his goods in danger his house in suspition his credite in ballance and also sometimes his life in perill because it is 〈◊〉 to beleeue that she desireth not long life vnto her husband with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome And if any vnkindnesse or displeafure should happen to be at any time betwixt the husband and the wife yet neither of them ought to impart or to make it knowne vnto any one of their neighbours for if they be such as wish them euill they will reioyce at it and if they be such as wish them well then they minister matter whereof to talke That husband that is matched and doth encounter with a wife that is a dizzard a foole a babbler light ofbehauiour a glutton a chider slothfull a gadder abroad vntractable iealous or dissolute c it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man then a husband to such a wife The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife to guard and gouerne her is to admonish her often and to giue her good instructions to reprehend her seldome neuer to lay violent hands on her but if she be good and dutifull to fauour her to the end she may continue so and if she be shrewish and way ward mildly to suffer her to the end that she waxe not worse But some husbands be of so sowre a nature and so vnpleasant in their behauiour that they can hardly be loued no not of their wiues their countenance is so lowring their company so currish that they seeme angry euen when they are best pleased they cannot speake faire scarce will they laugh when their wiues laugh vpon them a man would say they were borne in an angrie houre This is also a dutie not to be forgotten namely that 〈◊〉 be diligent and carefull to make prouision for their houses to cloath their wiues decently to bring vp their children vertuously and to pay their seruants duely because that in voluntary matters men may be negligent but the necessities of the house do neither suffer negligence nor forgetfulnesse The duty of the husband is to get goods and of the wife to gather them together and saue them The duty of the husband is to trauell abroad to seeke liuing and the wiues dutie is to keepe the
he will trust her and so open and disclose his loue and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue and beneuolence manifesting that to be borne and nourished through the experience of her vertue and through hope to be continued and kept that in time to come she may be like her selfe and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue As the husband ought to loue his Wife tenderly so from her as from a fountaine he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes to the end that they may well know and perceiue how greatly their cousin doth aide and helpe them and that she in like manner may vnderstand that his beneuolence and loue to her is such that it redoundeth among her friends and parents and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsemen for her sake how much more ought he then to loue her children that she in like case may loue his if he haue any And thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end The duties which are to be performed of the husband and the wife are either pertaining to pietie and godlinesse or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues 1. The first common dutie is prayer that they pray together by themselues For as they are to pray with others in their families for things which concerne their houshold so there are certaine things which belonging to themselues are not to be mentioned in their families but priuately as namely for a godly posterity and that in the birth the childrn be comely and not monstrous in comming forth like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them or an occasion that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell c. And further they are to pray that they may haue comfort by them in their well-carriage and good behauiour as likewise for their houshold and diuers other affaires which they cannot so commodiously pray for in their publike familie As Isaack and Rebecca besides the prayers in their house which they vsed with Abrahams family did also pray together priuatly as Gen. 25. 21. it is said Isaack prayed before his wife for so the words signifie that they might haue children 2. A second dutie of pietie is that they admonish one another As the husband is to admonish the wife and also to teach her so the wife is to admonish the husband in her place admonishing bringing sufficient reason is to be heard For euen as the maister is to counsell the seruant and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant as Naaman 2. King 5. 13. 14. heard his seruant which counselled him to wash in Iordan according to the saying of the Prophet so in like manner the husbands duty is to counsell and to admonish his wife yet so as when he faileth in duty he is to heare her good counsell and admonition either concerning heauenly matters or earthly affaires she notwithstanding considering her estate and condition vnder him and in humility confessing her selfe to be the weaker vessell 1. Pet. 3. 7. Their mutuall and seuerall duties pertaining to themselues are First the holy familiarity which ought to be betwixt man and wife wherby they haue a more familiar vsage one of another and do more familiarly behaue themselues in a comely sort one to another then any other parties whatsoeuer in regard whereof Abimelech king of Gerar after that Isaack had said of Rebecca his wife She is my sister seeing Isaack playing and sporting with her familiarly knowing that familiarity which ought to be betweene the husband and the wife and knowing that Isaack was a godly religious man and therefore would not vse that kind of behauiour to any other woman saue to his wife discerned thereby and concluded certainely that she was his wife howsoeuer he had denied it before Noting that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man saue her husband and contrary that the husband ought not to vse this familiaritie with any other woman which he doth with his wife And therefore Pro. 5. 19. we see that the wife should be to him as the louing Hinde namely delightfull one in whom he may delight that as the Hart delighteth in the Hinde so the wife should be a delight vnto her husband and so in like manner she ought to take delight in him 2. Againe there is another mutuall dutie pertaining to themselues to wit that neare coniunction euen in regard of their bodies for an holy procreation of children in respect whereof the Apostle saith The husband hath not power ouer his owne body but the wife c. Onely when it is with the wife as is common to women Ezech. 18. 6. or that she be sicke of her disease he is not then to haue the vse of her body c. Such as do aspire and purpose to enter into the holy estate of matrimony are to beginne in prayer and holinesse to God And hauing attained to that estate ought to vse the benefit of marriage as an holy ordinance of God in all godlinesse and puritie for a remedie against the weakenesse of the flesh and not for the prouocation and lust to intemperancie True it is that honesty of marriage grounded vpon Gods ordinance doth couer the shame of incontinencie yet not so as that married folkes should defile and pollute that holy estate by admitting all things but that they should so vse it as there might be no excesse in dissolutenesse neither any intemperancie contrarie to the holinesse thereof So that to abuse it in lasciuious excesse is fornication When God created the woman he said It is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helpe meete for him but whatsoeuer is said of the woman that she should be an helpe to the man must also be put in practise and exercised by the husband to wards his wife according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul 1. Cor. 7. whether in auoiding fornication whether in procuring generation and the education and bringing vp of children whether in maintaining a family or for the seruice of God and saluation of soules Hereby it euidently appeareth that the dutie common both to the husband and wife importeth that the one should aide and helpe the other First that they may leade their lines in chastitie and holinesse Next to auoide fornication So that the dutie of the husband and the wife consisteth in this that they liue together in all chastitie and purenesse and that they take great heed and beware of breaking the bond and infringing and violating the saith of marriage by fornication or adulterie which is a detestable sinne in the sight both of God and man If such as wanting the remedy of marriage by committing fornication do incurre an offence worthy euerlasting damnation what may those deserue who hauing
a remedy for their infirmity do neuerthelesse ouerflow in adulterie Yet it is not enough onely to abstaine from this abhomination vnlesse we also forbeare from euery thing that may seeme to tend thereunto or to continue any beginning apparence allurement or occasion of euill First because that by the Law all this is forbidden euen in these expresse words Thou shalt not commit adultery For the word adulterie comprehendeth all prouocations gestures specches yea euen vnchast lookes And therefore saith Iesus Christ He that looketh vpon another mans wife to lust after her bath alreadie committed adulterie with her in his heart Next that we preuent all occasions of iealousie a most dangerous disease and of great difficultie to cure For where either the husband or the wife is tainted with iealousie they belecue euery word that they heare spoken touching their passion albeit it beare no apparence of truth And therefore Christian husbands and wiues must so beare themselues that they incurre no suspition of enill but rather they ought to practise this as wel to auoide occasion of offence as for feare lest iealousie should conuert marriage into a most miserable and wretched estate The care and burthen to maintaine their family is common to them both yet so as properly the husband is to get it and to bring it in and the wife to order and dispose it Howbeit the dutie of the wife or of the husband doth not so exempt either of them but that she also according to her ability and power must helpe her husband to get it and he likewise in his discretion direct her in the dispensation thereof He that doth not orderly gouerne his house shall inherite the winde saith Salomon And order consisteth in this that the husband follow his businesse traffique or calling without any molestation of the wife who ought not to meddle or controle him therein but with great discretion and gentlenesse as also the husband is not to deale but soberly and in great discretion with affaires that are proper to the wife The man is iealous of his authority and reputation and the woman inclined to respect her selfe to be despised Wherefore as the husband cannot well abide that his wife should shew her selfe more skilfull and wise in his businesse then himselfe so cannot the wife suffer that her husband should despise and account her a foole by medling with her small houshold affaires As the dutie therefore of the husband and wife consisteth in looking to that which is aforesaid to the end their marriage may be quiet themselues liue together in loue euen so an idle and vnthrifty husband and a prodigall and slothfull wife are two ready wayes to destruction The husband that hath such a wife casteth his labours into a bottomles sacke and the wife that is matched with such a husband draweth a cart heauy loden through a sandy way without a horse Such a husband especially if idlenesse draw him to loue and haunt ale-houses and tauernes is cruell to his wife and children and such a wife confounds her husband and bringeth reproach and pouertie to her whole family The remedy for the husband that hath such a wife is patience with discret admonition and prayer to God as also the helpe for the wife that hath such a husband is tolleration gentle exhortation and cheerefull and louing entertainment of her husband whereby to enduce him willingly to keepe home They are also to be mutuall helpers each to other in matters concerning their owne saluation and the seruice of God First if one of them as saith the Apostle be an vnbeleeuer the other must labour to draw his partie to the knowledge of the truth Saint Paul exhorting the husband and wife of contrary religions not to part but to dwell together addeth a notable reason saying What knowest thou ó man whether thou shalt saue thy selfe or thou ô woman whether thou shalt saue thy husband therein declaring that the faithfull person in duty is to labour and endeuour to winne his party to the knowledge of truth and so to saue her Saint ' Peter exhorteth wiues to be subiect to their husbands albeit vnbeleeuers and such as ' obey not the word that so without speech by their holy and vertuous conuersation they may 〈◊〉 them Secondly if both be beleeuers their duty is to confirme and strengthen each other in the time of persecution that they constantly follow Iesus Christ. They are also each to helpe and comfort other if either of them happen to fall into any fault or sinne They ought also each to perswade other to charitie to releeue the poore diligently to frequent Sermons to vse prayers and supplications and praise and thanksgiuing to the Lord to comfort each other in the time of affictions to be short either to exhort other to walke in the feare of God and in all duties and exercises beseeming the children of God In this manner did that holy woman Elizeus hostesse exhort her husband to prepare a chamber for the Prophet to lodge in Saint Paul also saith that women desirous to learne should question with their husbands at home Wherby he sheweth that the husband ought to be so instructed as that he may be ready to instruct his wife at home And therefore the husband after the example of the Bee should euery where gather euery good instruction that he might be able to impart it to his wife and by hauing a communication acquaint her therewith There are other duties which be common both to the husband and the wife as among the rest such as proceed of the vnion coniunction of marriage whereof it is said They are one slesh Gen. 2. 24. Matth. 19. 5. And of this vnion proceedeth the mutuall loue betwixt them For no man saith the Apostle hateth his owne flesh but loueth and cherisheth it But for as much as the foundation of this mutuall loue is the vnitie of marriage whereby the husband and the wife are made one flesh the husband as the head the wife as the bodie it followeth that this loue must be stedfast not variable and that the vnion of marriage continue notwithstanding whatsoeuer befall either the husband or the wife Notwithstanding whatsoeuer complexions we say natures and infirmities may appeare whatsoeuer sicknesse losse of goods iniuries griefes or other inconueniences that may arise yet so long as the foundation of loue that is the vnion of marriage doth continue so long must loue and affection remaine God commandeth vs to loue our neighbours as our selues because they be of our flesh Albeit therefore that he contemne hate offend or wrong vs albeit he be our enemie and in respect of himselfe deserueth not that we should loue him yet because he is of our flesh the foundation of loue remaining we must loue him How much rather ought they to put this in practise who by the bond of marriage are made one flesh the rather because the vnion betweene man and wife is
they are gone and they are made common as also are the debtes whether hers or her husbands And therefore can neither of them say this is mine but this is ours When a woman hath brought great goods yet may she not say I will do with mine owne what I list for she her selfe is not her owne but her husbands The husband as the head and chiefe guide of the family must haue the custody and chiese gouernment of the goods in the house yet may he discharge himselfe of the whole or of part as himselfe shall thinke meete and conuenient Yet let him remember that he intreate her not as a seruant by giuing her money as it were in mistrust or with condition to returne him a particular account for the husbands mistrust doth many times prouoke the woman and the wiues vaine expence breedeth mistrust in the husband But the faithfull and discret employment and good vsage of the wife and her husbands confidence in her will procure that as the goods be common to both so each alike shall vndertake the custody and employment of the same Hereunto for a conclusion of this point we will yet adde two duties common both to the husband and the wife The first that they daily pray to God to giue them grace to liue together in peace and loue and that each may be an helpe to others saluation Let all such as desire to enioy such a selicitie vnderstand that they must daily pray to God for the obtaining thereof And let those that liue in strife and debate examine themselues whether they haue no cause to impute their miserable estate to their neglect of this duty The second consisteth in the practise of the same which Saint Paul teacheth saying Let those that be married be as if they were not married But how by so enioying the commodity and contentation of marriage that the benefit of their coniunction breed no diuorce betweene God and them Likewise that thereby they be not hindered or made slacke in any duty towards God and their neighbours as also that no affliction depending or proceeding of marriage withdraw them or force them to resolue any thing contrary to the vnion of marriage and these Christian profession that they be the children of God The particular duties of the husband toward the wife are first to protect her to haue regard and care ouer her c. Ruth 3. 9. Secondly that he vnfainedly loue her out of which fountaine springeth this dutie that he must beare with her infirmities and not by and by to enter into bitternesse and wrath Colossions 3. 16. To the same end Saint Peter exhorting husbands to behaue themselues discreetly and with knowledge and wisedome toward their wiues he requireth of them two things First that they neuer say nor do any thing that may iustly offend their wiues as some there be who being prodigall great spenders or idle and slacke in their businesse do cause their wiues and children to languish in pouertie Others who haunting tauernes ale-houses and gaming do consume and wast that which should maintaine their family Others who comming home drunke do beate and vexe their wiues and as it were driue them into dispaire Others who by vile and bitter speeches by threatnings and other vnchristian actions vnworthy a husband do prouoke their wiues and so stirre vp such strife and debate as do conuert the comfort of marriage into an hell Seeing therefore that the husband is head he ought in such wisedome reason and discretion to beare himselfe that he giue his wife no iust occasion of offence or prouocation yet he must remember that if the head be drunke the whole body is in danger of weake gouernment euen oflying in the mire Secondly that albeit the wife should minister iust cause of griefe and displeasure yet that the husband should not thereof take occasion against his wiues infirmities or enter into bitternesse taunts or disquietnesse but discreetly and patiently beare with her that so they may quietly and louingly liue together The hurt or weaknesse of any one member of the body prouoketh not the head to wrath or bitternesse but rather to compassion and an inclination to helpe it And indeede whereas God hauing created the woman the weaker vessell as Saint Peter noteth and did so ioyne her to man it was not to the end that he striuing with so fraile a vessell should bruise and breake it but that by gentle and discreet intreating he should quietly enioy the help that God hath giuen him Let him therefore after the counsell of Saint Peter so respect her as one who albeit she be weake is neuerthelesse a profitable vessell for him Moreouer let him loue and honour her as one whom notwithstanding the frailtie of her Sexe God hath so honoured and Iesus Christ so loued that being together with man redeemed with his bloud she is together with her husband co-heire of life euerlasting A chrystall glasse is a precious and profitable vessell yet brittle so is the married woman But albeit she be brittle yet is she profitable to her husband and precious in the sight of God as a child of God and member of Christ. As therefore a man doth more carefully take heed ofbreaking such a glasse then some earthen or tinne vessell the one being more base and the other more strong so likewise should the husband haue such regard of the frailtie of his wife that he may beare with her and intreate her with gentlenesse and discretion that he may vse her as a precious and profitable vessell to his comfort and ioy And in as much as prayer is an excellent seruice that God requireth of vs and the ready meanes to purchase his blessings let the husband discretly beare with his wife lest otherwise through their strife and contention their prayers as Saint Peter saith be letted and interrupted 1. Pet. 3. 7. Yet must we not say but the husband both may and ought to tell his wife of her infirmities that she may amend But here we are to enter into consideration of sundrie points First he is especially to reproue her offences against God as when Rachel said vnto Iacob Giue me children or else I die he reproued her of impoitunitie saying Am I in Gods stead who hath withholden from thee the fruit of thy wombe Also when Iobs wife said to her husband Doest thou abide in thy integritie Curse God and die he wisely reproued such a wicked speech saying Thou speakest as an vnwise woman What shall we receiue good at the hand of God and not receiue euill Secondly that it be with gentlenesse and testimonie of good will as Elkanah dealt with his wife Hanna when she mourned because she had no children And indeed it is meete that the husband should reproue his wife louingly rather by perswasion then by force For as in a great stormie winde a man lappeth his cloake about him and holdeth it fast for feare oflosing it but
is the want and neglect of the wise discreet and good gouernment that should be in the husbands besides the want of good example that they should giue vnto their wiues both in word and deed For as the common saying is such a husband such a wife For so much as marriage maketh of two persons one therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better be kept and increased and so continued if they remember the duties last spoken of as also not forget three points following 1. They must be of one heart will and mind and neither to vpbraide or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any wayes or to pride themselues in their gifts but either the one to endeuour to supply the others wants that so they both helping and doing their best together may be one perfect body 2. It doth greatly increase loue when the one faithfully serueth the other when in things concerning marriage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other and when of all that euer they obtaine or get they haue but one common purse together the one locking vp nothing from the other and also when the one is faithfull to the other in all businesse and affaires Likewise when the one hearkeneth to the other when the one thinketh not scorne of the other and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house the one will be counselled and aduised by the other the one of them being alwayes louing kind courteous plaine and gentle vnto the other in words manners and deeds 3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious diligent and seruiceable to the other in all honest things And this will the sooner come to passe if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall or cānot away withall and what pleaseth or displeaseth them and so from thence-foorth to do the one and to leaue the other vndone And if one of them be angry and offended with the other then let the party grieued open and make knowne vnto the other their griefe in due time and with discretion For the longer a displeasure or euill will rages in secret the worse wil be the discord And this must be obserued that it be done in a fit and conuenient time because there is some season in the which if griefes were shewed it should make great debate And if the wife would go about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience or moued with anger it should then be no fit time to talke with him Therefore Abigail perceiuing Nabal her husband to be drunke would not speake to him vntill the morning Both the husband and wife must remember that the one be not so offended and displeased with the manners of the other that they should thereupon forsake the company one of another for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees would therefore forsake the bony And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause except for whoredome which must be duly prooued before a lawfull Iudge But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state and marriage to God by humble and feruent prayer that he for his beloued Sonnes sake would so blesse them and their marriage that they may so Christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement For like as all manner of medicines specially they that go nighest death as to cut off whole members c. are very loathsome and terrible euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine but a perillous and terrible medicine Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife ought with all care and heedfulnesse so to liue in marriage that they haue no need of such a medicine As the holy Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly as partly may be seene by these quotations 1. King 1. 2. Prou. 7. 27 and 22. 14. and 25. 24. and 27. 15. Eccles. 7. 28. So contrariwise the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue bene deuout religious and vertuous as partly is manifest by that which hath bene already said and also by these places of Scripture Ruth 2. 11. 1. Sam. 25. 3. Pro. 14. 1. and 31. 10. Mat. 28. 1. 8. 9. 10. Luke 8. 2. 3. and 23. 55. 56. Acts 1. 14. and 17. 4. and 9. 36. 39. 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1. 5. And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God shall find that it speaketh of the praise of as many and mo good women then men Yea and I am perswaded that if at this day a due suruey should be taken of all the men women throughout his Maiesties dominions there would be found in number moe women that are faithfull religious and vertuous then men Now if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband the Apostle resolueth this doubt where he saith Ephesians 5. 22. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as to the Lord. As if he had said wiues cannot be disobedient to their husbands but they must resist God also who is the author of this subiection and that they must regard their husbands will as the Lords will But yec withall as the Lord commandeth that which is good right so she should obey her husband in good and right or else she doth not obey him as the Lord but as the tempter The first subiection of the woman began at sinne For when God cursed her for seducing her husband when the serpent had deceiued her he said He shall haue authoritts ouer thee And therefore as the man named all other creatures in signe that they should be subiect to him as a seruant which commeth when his maister calleth him by his name so he did name the woman also in token that she should be subiect vnto him likewise And therefore Assuerus made a law that euery man should beare rule in his owne house and not the woman Because she sinned first therefore she is humbled most and euer since the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord as Sarah called her husband that is to take them for heads and gouernours Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her family this is one namely that she nurse her owne children which to omit and to put them foorth to nursing is both against the law of nature and also against the will of God Besides it is hurtfull both for the childs body and also for his wit lastly it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe and it is an occasion that she falleth into much 〈◊〉 thereby First nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end but that she should bestow it vpon her child
We see by experience that euery beast and euery fowle is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it onely some women loue to be mothers but not nurses As therefore euery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth euen so also it becometh naturall mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke Secondly the examples of the Scriptures are many that proue this As Sarah who nursed Isaack though she were a Princesse and therefore able enough to haue had others to haue taken that paines Though she was a beautifull woman and of great yeares yet she her selfe nursed and gaue sucke to her sonne Also Anna vnto whom the holy Ghost hath left it recorded as a commendation that she nursed her owne sonne Samuel So when God chose a nurse for Moses he led the hand-maide of Pharaos daughter to his mother as though God would haue none to nurse him but his mother Like wise when the Sonne of God was borne his Father thought none fit to be his nurse but the blessed virgin his mother It is a commendation of a good woman and set downe in the first place as a principall good worke in a widow that is well reported of if she haue nursed her children And therfore such as refuse thus to do may well and fitly be called nice and vnnaturall mothers yea in so doing they make themselues but halfe mothers and so breake the holy bond of nature in locking vp their breasts from their children and deliuering them forth like the Cuckoo to be hatched in the sparrowes nest Thirdly the childrens bodies be commonly so affected as the milke is which they receiue Now if the nurse be of an euill complexion as she is affected in her body or in her mind or hath some hidden disease the child sucking of her breast must needs take part with her And if that be true which the learned do say that the temperature of the mind followes the constitution of the body needs must it be that if the nurse be of a naughty nature the child must take thereafter Yet if it be so that the nurse be of a good complexion and of an honest behauiour whereas contrariwise maidens that haue made a scape are commonly called to be Nurses yet can it not be but that the mothers milke should be much more naturall for the child then the milke of a stranger As by experience let a man be long accustomed to one kind of drinke if the same man change his ayre and his drinke he is like to mislike it as the egges of a henne are altered vnder a hawke Neuerthelesse such women as be oppressed with infirmities diseases want of milke or other iust and lawfull causes are to be dispensed withall But whose breasts haue this perpetuall drought Forsooth it is like the gowt no beggers may haue it but Citizens or Gentlewomen In the ninth of Hosea verse 14. drie breasts are named for a curse What a lamentable hap haue Gentle-women to light vpon this curse more then others Sure if their breasts be drie as they say they are they should fast and pray together that this curse might be remoued from them And lastly that it is hurtfull to the mothers themselues both Physitians can tell and some women full oft haue felt when they haue bene troubled with sore breasts besides other diseases that happen to them through plentie of milke The wise is further to remember that God hath giuen her two breasts not that she should employ and vse them for a shew or of ostentation but in the seruice of God and to be a helpe to her husband in suckling the child common to them both Experience teacheth that God conuerteth the mothers bloud into the milke wherewith the child is nursed in her wombe He bringeth it into the breasts furnished with nipples conuenient to minister the warme milke vnto the child whom he endueth with industrie to draw out the milke for his owne sustenance The woman therefore that can suckle her child and doth it not but resuseth this office and duty of a mother declareth her selfe to be very vnthankfull to God and as it were forsaketh and contemneth the fruite of her wombe And therefore the bruite beasts lying vpon the ground and granting not one nipple or two but sixe or seauen to their young ones shall rise in iudgment against these dainty half-mothers who for feare of wrinckling of their faces or to auoyd some small labour do refuse this so necessary a duty of a mother due to her children The properties due to a married wife are that she haue grauitie when she walketh abroad wisedome to gouerne her house patience to suffer her husband loue to breed and bring vp her children courtesie towards her neighbours diligence to lay vp and to saue such goods as are within her charge that she be a friend of honest company and a greater enemie of want on and light toyed So then the principall dutie of the wife is first to be subiect to her husband Ephes. 5. 22. Colloss 3. 18. 1. Pet. 3. 1. 2. To be chast and shamefast modest and silent godly and discreet 3. To keepe her selfe at home for the good gouernment of her family and not to stray abroad without iust cause Here it is not to be pretermitted but we must say somewhat touching men and women that betwise married and so become step-fathers and step-mothers Such husbands and wiues as marrie againe after the death of their first wiues or first husbands are carefully to remember that they do not displease their wiues or their husbands which they now haue by ouermuch rehearsing of their first wife or first husband For the course and condition of the world is such that husbands and wiues do account and reckon things past better then things that be present And the reason is because no commoditie or felicitie is so great but it hath some griefe and displeasure and also some bitternesse mingled with it which so long as it is present grieueth vs sore but when it is once gone it leaueth no great feeling of it selfe behind it and for that cause we seeme to be lesse troubled with sorrowes and discommodities past then with those that are present Also age stealeth and commeth on apace which causeth both men and women to be the lesse able to sustaine and endure troubles and griefes then before Therefore such men and women as be twise married and be wise and religious ought not to esteeme their wife or husband which is dead better then her or him which they enioy now aliue remembering the common prouerbe That we must liue by the quicke and not by the dead and that we must make much of that we now haue Let the name of step-father and step-mother admonish and put them in mind of their duty towards the children of the one and the other For step-father and step-mother doth signifie a sted-father and a
Thirdly that they be vnto their children examples of all godlinesse and vertue Fourthly that they keep them from idlenesse the mother of all mischiefes and bring them vp either in learning or in some good art or occupation whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and truth when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion 1. Touching the first point Parents are to be admonished that they beare in minde that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children is First that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp that they may become Citizens of the Church of God so that whensoeuer they themselues shall die in the Lord they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place But alasse there be few that haue any great care of this dutie It is to be remembred that it is the fathers dutie with all conuenient speed to present the child to baptisme and there to giue the name vnto his child as may appeare by the example Luke 1. 3. Gen. 21. 3. And it were a thing to be wished that all parents when and at such time as God blesseth them with children would giue them such names as are named and commended vnto vs in the holy Scriptures to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion they by hearing those names may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and Christian conuersation of those men and women whose names they beare which the holy Ghost hath commended them for and contrariwise to 〈◊〉 and auoide those faults and vices which are discommended in them And yet we haue to remember that those children which are named and called by and after any of the names of the 〈◊〉 Prophets Apostles or by the name of any other Saint man or woman are not any thing the better because they haue such godly and Christian names vnlesse that they do imitate and follow them in faith vertue and godly behauiour so on the other side they that be not called by such Christian names as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture are not in respect of their names any thing the worse hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloud shedding and leading their liues agreeable to the same For as neither the reuenues nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors 〈◊〉 descend of noble parentage maketh men noble and renowned indeed vnlesse they themselues be godly honest and wise so neither the godly names no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers auaileth the wicked and vngodly children any thing at all vnlesse they repent and become faithfull and godly as they were Let vs here consider that so often as in the race of our life we do heare or do speake of our name it doth put vs in remembrance first of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisine secondly of our promise to God againe And as in times amongst our ancestors Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised as appeateth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names at what time and place they had their names giuen them and would thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God and ioyned in league with him and made partakers of his couenant so likewise after the same manner must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme remember and beare in minde that we are by grace adopted to be the sonnes of God and receiued into his fauour and therefore that we are Gods owne and as it were his goods and riches who beare his name as proper vnto him 2. Secondly they may assure themselues that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer that he in mercy would vouthsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares subtilties and temptations of Sathan which their tender age is subiect vnto We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children but they do not marke and consider that they are iustly punished by God for that they thinke by their own industrie and wit to make them good and vertuous without Gods blessing which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest 3. Thirdly let them consider how noble a thing a child is whom God himself hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe nourished brought forth into the light and indued with body and soule to the end he should as it were in a table represent God hîs first patterne 4. Fourthly let them know that these things are to be dealt with all in order Vnto the body they owe nourishment bringing vp apparell and sometimes correction that they may keepe children in awe Vnto the soule they owe catechising instruction and doctrine and that of two sorts namely of godlinesse and of ciuilitie By the one they shall keepe a good conscience before God by the other they shall obtaine a good report among men For these are the two principall points which parēts ought to be most carefull to plant in this life in their children both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse where he saith Ephes. 1. 4. Ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in instruction and information of the Lord. And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his Religion so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same that they may as it were suck in godlinesse together with their mothers milke and straight-wayes after their cradle may be nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life To haue godly children no doubt is the greatest treasure that may be For in the children do the parents liue in a manner after their death And if they be well instructed catechised and vertuously brought vp God is honoured by them the Common-wealth is aduanced yea their parents and all other fare the better for them They are their parents comfort next vnto God their ioy staffe and vpholding of their age and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer apt haruest Young branches will bow as a man will haue them but old trees will sooner breake then bow And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence to a strong and a mightie man that can shoot them with courage euen so children godly brought vp are a speciall protection and defence to their parents And as the strong mans quiuer the better it is furnished with chosen shaftes the better defence he hath so likewise the more godly children their parents haue the greater is their ioy and happinesie Yea and further as arrowes are at the commandement
see two speciall causes why some parents do more negligently prouide that their children be instructed to wit too much cockering and niggardship In cockering mothers do more often offend and specially those that haue but few children These do like as if some husband-man should refuse to till his field because he hath but one onely Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement Is it not much more to be tilled because it is onely one Yes verily that so the profit and increase of one may recompence the want of many Euen so after the same sort we may iudge it to be the dutie of mothers so much more diligently to bring vp their children by how much they are fewer But we see what doth let mothers that they loue their children more dearely then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight but this is cruell loue so to loue their children that they should be as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse of which peruerse and cruell loue not a few shall suffer the iust punishment which with great griefe of mind and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse of their children vnto which they do now all too late go about to prouide a remedie On the other side niggardship is oftentimes greater then that parents will 〈◊〉 the cost Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers or horse-breakers fooles minstrels dogs hawkes c that some thinke well bestowed but if they see any thing to be spent about instructing their children they thinke all ill bestowed and are much more carefull that an horse be well framed to vauting leaping then that their child be well instructed to vertue This inconuenience cometh to the minds of children if they be not well brought vp that they become seruile and lie open to all sin and naughtinesse For if a man leaue his field vntilled he shall find it to haue brought forth fearne and thystles and such vnprofitable weeds after the same sort if he shall leaue the wits of his children vnlooked vnto and vnexercised he shall be sure to reape most abundant fruite of wantonnesse and vngraciousnesse The holy Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes as that he that begetteth such a one getteth himselfe sorrow and that the father of a foole hath no ioy Prou. 17. 21. he meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots and such as are destitute of common reason although it is true that is a lamentable iudgement of God and a heauinesse to the parents of such a child as of wicked children such as either are ignorant in the word or not knowing how to order one right step to the kingdome of God or else hauing some knowledge abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite For in this case as it would grieue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred or deformed and misfigured in the parts of their bodie euen so much more should it grieue them to haue such children as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome cannot walke in the feare of God or abusing the knowledge giuen them prostitute and giue themselues to all sinne and wickednesse It is maruellous how greatly parents can bewaile the want of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection and how easily they can passe ouer without any griefe the want of all spiriruall graces springing from corrupt education In like manner it is strange that men can take the matter so heauily when their children breake into such offences as either haue open shame or ciuill punishments following them and yet can make no bones but passe ouer such sinnes as are against the maiestie of God accompanied with euerlasting confusion vnspeakable torments Wherein what doth the most part of men bewray but their great hypocrisie in that neither their ioy nor their griefe is sound to their children and that they loue themselues more in their children then either their saluation or the glorie of God the tender loue and care whereof no doubt did increase the sorrow of Dauid for the death of his sonne Absolon who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne as for that vntimely end of his sonne to whom the time of repentance for his saluation and the glorie of God was denyed which haply if he had liued his father Dauid might haue reioyced in Let parents therefore learne to correct their affections to their children and be grieued for ignorance impietie and sinnes whereof either their carnall copulation the not lamenting of their naturall corruption the want of prayer and holy seede or prophane education armed with the wrath of God may be a most iust occasion Can parents hope for a holy posteritie or do they maruell if the Lord crosie them in the children of their bodies when they make as bold and brutish an entrance into that holy ordinance of the Lord as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mate when being ioyued in that honourable estate of matrimonie either as meete naturall men without all knowledge of God they beget their children or as too carnall men without the feare reuerence of the Lord neither bewailing their corruptions which they receiued of their ancestry nor praying against their infirmities which may descend to their posteritie they abuse the marriage bed Lastly when hauing receiued the fruite of the wombe they haue no care by good and vertuous bringing vp to offer it to the Lord that their child by carnall generation may be the child of God by spirituall regeneration Surely no and yet men looking vp to God his prouidence and secret counsell without all bethinking themselues of their corrupt generation from which their children are descended without all looking back into their wicked and godlesse bringing of them vp will fret against their sinnes fume against their children yea often they will correct them and that to serue their owne corruptions not so much grieued for that they haue sinned against God as that they haue offended them Christians therefore must know that when men and women raging with boyling lust meete together as bruite beasts hauing no other respect then to satisfie their owne carnall concupiscence when they make no conscience to sanctifie the marriage bed with prayer when they haue no care to increase the Church of Christ and the number of the elect it is the iust iudgement of God to send them either monsters or naturall fooles or else such as hauing good gifts of the mind and well proportioned bodies are most wicked gracelesse and prophane persons Againe on the contrary we shall find in the word of God that noble and notable men commended vnto vs for rare examples of vertue and godlinesse were children asked and obtained of God by prayer Our first parents Adam and Eue being humbled after the birth of their
any vnhonest pastime For if it be so that a father will not suffer his childe to come into a place where he may be in danger to take hurt of his body either by infection of the plague or otherwise how much more is he bound to with-hold and keepe his childe from comming there where he should hurt and poyson his soule The fourth and last point is that parents do with all care and diligence keepe their children from all lazie idlenesse a vice no doubt out of which do spring many inconuehiences and is condemned by the holy Ghost in many places of Scripture whereby God declareth that he created no man in vaine or to no purpose neither is there any man vnto whom he hath not allotted as it were a certaine standing and roome and a lawfull calling to walke in Whereupon it followeth that the order which God hath appointed is troubled by such as liue idlely yea Gods ordinance is broken which is a great sinne and wickednesse So then by the word of God none ought to liue idlely and to neglect his charge and dutie but ought to giue himselfe to some profitable calling to get his liuing by and to do good to others Although fathers prouide for their children great store of money and huge heapes of treasure yet in three 〈◊〉 foure houres all may be wasted and come to nought For much euill commeth through idlenesse it is an euill teacher he that doth nothing is ill occupied The mind of man is euer stirring and doing somewhat if it be not doing well it is doing ill As water though it be neuer so cleare and faire fresh and comfortable yet if it stand still in a pit or hole or be kept long in a vessell whence it hath no issue it will putrifie and corrupt rot and smell and he vnwholsome Euen so fareth it with children yea and with all the sonnes of Adam if they haue nothing to do no way to bestow their wits they will rot proue vnwholesome and deuise mischiefe all the day long For as labour and exercise of body of one man industrie and diligence of mind in another man are sure forts and strong bulwarkes of countreys euen so idlenesse and negligence are the cause of all euill for an idle mans braine becometh quickly the shop of the diuell And as in all things naturall there is one thing or other which is the spoile of it as the Canker to the rose the Worme to the apple and the Caterpillar to the leafe so the common spoile to all youth is the contrary to paines labour which is idlenesse Therefore is idlenesse worthily called the mother of all euils and step dame of all vertues The Prophet Ezechiel in his sixteenth Chapter verse forty nine teacheth that idlenesse was one of the principall sins of Sodome which pulled downe fire and brimstone from heauen vpon their heads This idlenesse is the diuels confederate for euen as the traiterous seruant while his maister is a sleepe and all thing at rest setteth open the doore for the thiefe to enter in vpon him and spoile him at his pleasure euen so idlenesse while we are not aware lying soft vpon the pillowes of securitie openeth the doore for the diuell to enter into vs with full swing to the destruction both of body and soule Saint Mathew saith Chapter thirteene verse twenty fiue that while men slept the enemie came and sowed 〈◊〉 among the wheate So the fittest time that the diuell can find to worke vppon vs is when we are idle for that is the sleepe of the soule In the eleuenth Chapter of the second of Samuel we reade that while Dauid tarried idle at home in the beginning of the yeare when kings vsed to go forth to battell he was soone ouertaken with two fowle sinnes of adultery and manflaughter Oh that men saw to how many vices and euils they shut the doore when they ceasse to be idle and giue themselues to honest labours and 〈◊〉 lawfull calling So long as Sampson Iudg. 19. warred with the Philistines he could neuer be taken or ouercome but after that he gaue himselfe to idlenesse and pleasure he not onely committed fornication with the strumpet Dalilah but also was taken of his enemies and had his eyes miserably put out If those two which were such excellent men endued of God with singular gifts the one of prophesie and the other of strength and such as no labour or trouble could ouercome were notwithstanding ouerthrowne fell into grieuous sinnes by yeelding for a short time to ease then what crimes what mischiefes and inconueniences are to be feared of them who all their life long giue themselues to idlenesse and loytering But such hath alwayes bene the peruerse incredulitie of mens hearts that they will not beleeue that other men haue perished vntil they themselues perish also If we be vtterly voyde of vnderstanding let vs go to the bruite creatures which want those helps of reason and gouernment that man hath and learne of them Go to the Pismire ô sluggard saith Salamon Prou. 6. 6. behold her wayes and be wise For she hauing no guide nor ruler prepareth her meate in sommer and gathereth her foode in the haruest What is it that filleth the prisons and bringeth so many to the gallowes causeth so many parents to lament and bewaile the vntimely death of their children but idlenesse When the poore condemned wretches haue receiued their iudgements and come to the place of execution and stand on the ladder what counsell giue they to young men and to children but to beware of idlenesse What is the cause of such and so many diseases in the body Aske the Physitians and they will tell you idlenesse Whereof rise rebellions in kingdomes against Princes Whereof rise mutinies and mutterings in Cities against Magistrates You can giue no greater cause thereof then idlenesse Christ our Redeemer saith Of euery idle word that is vaine and vnprofitable trifles which the most part of people spend their liues in that men shall speake they shall giue account thereof at the day of iudgement If we shall make an account for idle words what shall we do for idle hands for idle feete for idle body for idle soule What account for all idlenesse especially for wicked deeds shall we make at the day of iudgment Seeing then that idlenesse is so noysome and hurtfull let all Christian parents therefore labour and endeuour to auoyd it both in themselues and their children as a plague or contagious disease Therefore it is most requisite and necessary that parents do bring vp their children either in learning or in some occupation and handycraft whereby they may get their liuing another day and so liue the better But some vnaduisedly and foolishly do reason saying what need is it for noble and rich mens children to haue learning they shall haue enough We answer the greater the ship is and the more
euen iust with God that seeing they haue offended him in the greatest blessings they should be plagued with the same thing wherein they offended him in the greatest iudgements O you vnnaturall parents the rich man in hell shall rise vp against you in the day of iudgement and condemne you for he being in hell had a care of his fathers house that they might be forewarned and therefore desired Abraham to send Lazarus to his brethren to testifie vnto them that they came not into that place of torment but you will not admonish your children you will not teach them Moses the Prophets and you will not shew them the danger of Gods heauie displeasure hanging ouer their heads and therefore your owne children shall be one of the furies of hell to torment you The Lord open your eyes to foresee and flie these fearefull iudgements But if you will bring them vp well and vertuously they shall be the better for it all their liues after nay the world to come shall reape this benefit for such children as you now bring-vp such parents shall they be after when you are gone and looke what parents you leaue behind you the like children againe shall they reare vp Wherefore ô you parents you are either the making or the marring of the world for if your children learne no good education at your hands how should they be good fathers after you and how should they leaue that to their posteritie by the right of inheritance which they neuer receiued from their ancestors To conclude this point we say once againe Oh ye parents endeauour to go forward in this vertuous education of your children and then no doubt God neither shall nor will hide any necessary secret or instruction from you neither will he with-hold any good blessing from your posteritie so shall ye be fathers of the faithfull as Abraham was if you will haue the same care and practise the same diligence for your children and family that he did Genes 18. 18. 19. and 12. 2. 3. Parents also haue to remember that they shall commit an act very vnnaturall iniurious and vngodly if they should vndeseruedly disinherit their eldest sonne For as nature in all her works for the most part seemeth to make some one thing to be chiefe before all the rest whereby the same is and the rather continueth so reason in the order of a family which is an imitation of a state ciuill or body politicke perswadeth by experience that of necessitie there be one before the rest as chiefe whereby may be conserued that beautie of vnitie and harmonie of concord which the Almightie in his creation so wonderfully and diuersly teacheth and our Sauiour himselfe so carefully and especially commended to his Church And therof seemeth to come that preheminence or more speciall regard which the Law of God in the old Testament appointed to his people the Israelites to be obserued towards the first begotten sonne and likewise somewhat concerning other dumbe creatures which first were brought forth into the world By the ancient law of the Iewes the eldest had double so much as the others of the fathers goods and alone to the eldest pertained the blessing of the father wherewith should seeme alwaies the heritage to go and succeed as is manifest by the will of God in Deut. 21. 15. 16. 17. If a man haue two wiues one loued and another hated and they haue borne him children both the loued and also the hated if the first borne be the sonne of the hated then when the time commeth that he appointeth his sonnes to be heires of that which he hath he may not make the sonne of the beloued first borne before the sonne of the hated which is the first borne but he shall acknowledge the sonne of the hated which is the first borne and giue him double portion of all that he hath for he is the first of his strength and to him belongeth the right of the first borne The Patriarkes and other the seruants of God although by diuine reuelation and other notice of the will of God they were certified that they might marrie many of sundry wiues at one time yet did they exclude from their heritage the prerogatiue of the blessing all the children of those secondarie and after marriages This appeareth in Genes 21. 10. The sonne of the bond-woman shall not be heire with my sonne Isaack yet was he the eldest but was not the sonne of the first marriage nor borne of a free-woman Also an heire is the worke and institution of nature and heritage is due to the sonne of nature therefore it is so due that he must needes haue it seeing those things which come by nature or be naturall are not mutable or to be changed Moreouer this name heire which in a manner with all nations is the eldest is the successor of the law nationall besides the lawes naturall and diuine And that father who maketh another heire then is by the Authorities appointed cannot but expresse himselfe a Rebell in disobeying and contemning so great lawes and authorities beginning a new law of his owne head contrary thereunto Then what is more vniust then to do contrary to all lawes and therewith to disobey the will of God to peruert the due order of descent preferring the second marriage before the first the yonger before the elder the late off-spring before the first begotten so much tendred and respected Now as the greatest iniurie a father can do to his sonne is to disherite him so it it the most reprochfull blot or dammage to suffer the infamie and discredit of disherison For if the eldest sonne be worthy to be disherited in his fathers house he may be thought not worrhy to draw breath out of it for that he ought to be conuinced faulty in those crimes and hainous offences which be either repugnant to the duty of a child or not meete for the profession of a Christian. Namely if he strike or offer violence to his father if he oppresse him with some great wrong if he seeke his death or destruction by poysoning or otherwise if he lie with his fathers wife if he will not suffer his father to make his will if he be not of the true and Catholicke faith but is conuinced to be an heriticke whereby his life and heritage is in hazard Or if he refuse to succour and deliuer his father out of prison by his surety-ship or if he follow the trade and companie of such persons as in the law be counted infamous vile and most dishonest as Iuglers Sorcerers Coniurers Theeues Cozeners and Pyrates Or if he be an idiot a mad-man a naturall or lunaticke person Or if the father offering him a meete marriage vnder fiue and twentie yeares he refuse it and delight to liue continually in whoredome and filthy order of life These and such like be the causes that the Ciuill or Ecclesiasticall lawes do assigne The
vp If I had oppressed others how should I haue escaped Gods iudgement And when he shall visit me what shall I answer He that hath made me in the wombe hath he not made him which moued him to shew pittie and fauour vpto his seruants because they were Gods creatures as he was Hath not he alone fashioned vs in the wombe Hereby then may those maisters and dames see their wickednesse who will not heare their seruants speake but vpon a simple surmise and brain-sicknesse do euill intreate them by cruell stripes when in truth there is no iust cause Maisters and Mistresses ought therefore to vse their seruants and apprentises with mildnesse equitie as euery one shall deserue for they must remember that they haue all one God to honor and worship one Prince to serue one law to keepe one land to inhabite and one death to feare and therefore they must speake vnto them as vnto brethren and sisters deale with them as with Christians And let them alwaies remember this namely that God will neuer deale mercifully with them if they make no greater account that their seruants do serue him more carefully then themselues and sanctifie the Sabbaths And therefore that maister is not worthy to be serued which cannot affoord that his seruants should serue God as well as himselfe He must giue vnto God that which is Gods and then he may the better take that which is his owne for he that careth not for his familie saith Paule is worse then an infidell because infidels care for their families As it is the office of a good housholder to carry the burthen of care trauell and labour so it is the dutie of a wife to be faithfull in keeping and well ordering of his goods and house to see his her owne and their childrens best apparell brusht and handsomely 〈◊〉 to be patient and carefull to see her husband do well and both their duties is effectually to giue good examples to be diligent to entertaine peace amongst their familie and to see all things neat and handsome and to keepe due order and measure For as the Sunne in the firmament giueth light to all the regions round about him and by his bright appearing expelleth the darknesse comforteth and cheareth the world euen so like wise should housholders labour to banish sinne and corrupt religion out of their dwellings and to be a lanterne of godly life to comfort and shine to their whole family that so they may direct their liues after their good examples Phil. 2. 15. Math. 5. 19. A maister ought so to behaue himselfe with his seruants that he be not too familiar with them which many times breedeth contempt but he is to admonish them often and yet he must not discourage them from well doing nor be too seuere not too partiall but must moderate all by discretion For like as the Centution who had many seruants vnder his authoritie had them all at his becke and commandement most ready to obey him in any thing that he set them about and this good order and submission he had brought them vnto by the reason that his said seruants were deare vnto him that is he made speciall reckoning of them and was as a father vnto them so likewise all maisters are in conscience bound to esteeme and account well of their seruants and to vse their authoritie that they haue ouer them mildly and Christianly and then if their seruants do perceiue that they are deare vnto their maisters so may the maisters in time worke them like waxe vnto their owne mind except they be such as haue sold themselues to worke wickednesse It is very conuenient that a maister of a family should so dispose and order his affaires and businesse that he depart and absent himselfe from home as little as may be for it is an old saying and a true The eye of the maister doth make the horse fat and the ground fertile for all things are well and fitly done when the maister is present Such housekeepers as haue much and yet spend little are called niggards and they that haue little yet spend much are holden 〈◊〉 spend thrifts and prodigall wasters and therefore they ought to liue in such sort that they be not noted either misers for their keeping or prodigall for their spending The couetous miserable niggard passeth great toyle and trauell in gathering of riches danger in keeping them law in defending them and torment in departing from them but a wise man is not carefull so much for riches and how to liue long as to liue well and dye well Some housholders are so 〈◊〉 and sparing both towards themselues and their neighbours that although they haue much wealth yet they cannot find in their hearts to take part in any frugall and good measure of those transitory blessings which God in mercie hath giuen them but feed grosly and very niggardly and cloath themselues very meanely keeping a beggarly house so that as the common Prouerbe is a man may as soone breake his necke as his fast with them So that the state of such a worldling and couetous rich man is most miserable vpon whom God hath bountifully bestowed great wealth and yet he hath not the grace to 〈◊〉 his riches well either to his owne comfort or the good of his neighbour but heapeth vp riches as the Psalmist saith and cannot tell who shall gather them This sheweth that it is the plague of God that befalleth vpon such a miserable couetous worldling when he hath plentie of all things and yet wanteth a liberall heart to employ and vse them rightly And therefore the holy Ghost in the booke of the Preacher is not content once or twice to find fault and to checke this as a great vanity and abuse but to speake of it fiue sundry times In one place he saith There is an euill which I saw vnder the Sunne and it is much among men A man to whom God hath giuen riches and treasure and honour and he wanteth nothing for his soule of all that it desireth but God giueth him no power to eate thereof but a strange man shall eate it vp This is vanitie and this is an euill sicknesse Eccles. 2. 24. and. 3. 12. 13. 22. and 5. 17. and 6. 1. 2. and 8. 15. Such maisters and mistresses as would haue their necessary affaires and businesses dispatched well and in due time may not alwayes trust to the doing thereof by their seruants but they must either see it done or rather dispatch it themselues if it be such a thing and businesse as they can and may well do For such a lowlinesse is alwayes ioyned with the feare of God that they that are humbled with religion though honourable and worshipfull in calling do not thinke themselues too good to do any good thing This vndoubtedly is a thing greatly to be wished for namely that all Christians maisters and
the dutifull seruant to obey his louing and kind maister For as the hand is said to be the instrument of instruments being it indeed that serues to feed apparell and keepe cleane the rest of the limmes and parts of the bodie which are also called instruments so is the seruant said to be an instrument of instruments because he keepeth all the instruments of houshold occupied not onely to liue but to liue well wherein he differeth from all other instruments For where they are things without soule he is diuinely enriched with a soule and herein he differeth from the hand for that the hand is fastened and vnited to the bodie but he is separate and disioyned from his maister and he is also different from Artificers for Artificers are instruments of those things which properly they call workmanship but the seruant is an instrument of the action which also is distinguished from workmanship So that the seruant if you will rightly vnderstand him is aliuely and seuerall instrument of action It is very meete and conuenient that the mistrisse or dame do not make her selfe too familiar with her seruants or houshold-folkes lest they should be too bold to talke to ieast or vnreuerently and vnmannerlie to behaue themselues towards her and so modestly and wisely to beare her self among her seruants that they may feare reuerence and so stand in awe of her as the mistresse and mother of the house And as it is not comely or beseeming that the wife should take vpon her to rule and correct the men-seruants so likewise it is not comely or meete that the husband should meddle with the punishing or chastising of the maide-seruants so that it is most meete and acceptable to the offender that the maister should correct the men and the mistris her maides for a mans nature scorneth and disdaineth to be beaten of a woman and a maids nature is corrupted with the stripes of a man Therefore we reade that Abraham would not meddle with his maid but committed her to his wife and said Do with her as it pleaseth thee As if he should say It belongeth not to me but to thee Andthese are the duties which maisters must performe in their life time All which must be shut vp with setting order for all things at their death with especiall exhortations and prayers for religion for vprightnesse in their callings for peace and order after them according to the example of Hezekiah Dauid of Iacob and of Ioseph Esay 38. 1. and Gen. 47. 29. 30. and 40. 29. So that it is the dutie of Christian maisters to haue a care not onely that their families be well and Christianly gouerned while they liue but also that after their death loue peace quietnesse and good order may be continued in their posteritie The Seruants dutie towards their Maisters THis dutie confisteth in three points 1. First that seruants and apprentises do frō their hearts cheerefully and willingly performe the labours and workes that their maisters mistresses or dames shall command them 2. Secondly that they be faithfull in things committed to them by their maisters mistresses or dames that so they may keepe their goods 3. Thirdly that they be carefull to obserue vprightnesse of manners that the wife sonnes and daughters or other fellow seruants be not corrupted by their bad counsels or lewd behauiour These points are plainely proued by these places of Scripture quoted in the margine whereby seruants are straightly charged reuerently and faithfully to obey their bodily maisters mistresses and dames in all things which may be done without offence to God And this obedience and seruice must be done with feare and trembling in singlenesse of heart as vnto Christ they being 〈◊〉 with a reuerence to Godward as though they serued God himselfe and that as well in the absence of their maisters mistresses or dames as in their presence not constrainedly as it were forced or compelled thereto but heartily and with good will as they that serue the Lord and not men not onely in respect of the earthly reward but because they know and are assured that of the Lord they shall receiue the reward of inheritance in as much as they serue the Lord Christ. So that hereby all godly seruants may in few words learne what dutie they owe to their maisters mistresses and dames namely to loue them and to be affectioned towards them as a dutifull child is to his 〈◊〉 to be reuerent and lowly to them in their words and gestures to suffer and forbeare them to obey with readie and willing mindes all their lawfull and reasonable commandements to feare them and to be loth to displease them to be faithfull and trustie to them and theirs in deedes and promises to be diligent and seruiceable to speake cheerefully to answer discreetly not ouer boldly to dallie with their maisters wife daughters or maidens to be loyall and dutifull to their maisters mistresses and dames as Iacob was towards Laban and Ioseph towards Potiphar And they must carefully endeuour to do and procure to the vttermost of their abilitie that which may be to their maisters mistresses and dames honestie credit and profit and that as well when they are absent and out of sight as when they be present and looke on This is a qualitie and propertie belonging to euery good seruant both men and maides to wit that whatsoeuer goods or necessaries of their maisters mistresses or dames they shall haue charge of as committed to their trust and keeping they carefully see such things so well and orderly placed and laid vp that if there shall be at any time any iust occasion to vse any necessary in their custodie yea if it be in the night season and that without a light they then not onely can say in such a place it lyeth but also if they be required they can presently fetch the same Seruants must take heede that they do not 〈◊〉 and willingly anger or displease their maisters mistresses or dames which if they do then they ought incontinent and forthwith to reconcile themselues vnto them and to aske them forgiuenesse They must also forbeare them and suffer their angrie and hastie words and in no wise answer againe spitefully or scornefully neither yet vpon any such occasion run away For the Angell taught and willed Hagar the seruant of Sarah when she fled from her mistresse that she should returne and humble her selfe vnder the hands of her mistresse So did Saint Paul make agreement betwixt Onesimus a vagabond and theeuish seruant and sent him againe to his maister Philemon from whom he was fled away and it is probable that he admonished Onesimus to submit himselfe to his maister Seruants apprentices therfore according to the rule of Gods word must patiently beare and forbeare their maisters mistresses and dames do whatsoeuer lawfull thing they shall command them not being against a good conscience And therefore they must remember how