and so on till he bring his childe to a growne yea an old man full of dayes going to the grave in a full age like as a sheafe of corne cometh in in his season c Job 9. 26. In every estate and degree of these Ages even from the wombe to the grave he prescribeth pertinent and profitable directions not to children only but also to Parents Guardians Schoole-masters Tutors Governours of all sorts of Societies yea and to Ministers too whom he fitly styleth Instructoâ—s of Instructors So full he is as he hath passed nothing over in this long journey without a due observation whether it concerns the mothers care of the childe in her wombe or after in the infancy or both Parents care about a new birth or initiating it in pietie good manners good literature at home at schoole at Vniversity or any other good Seminary Yea also about calling marriage carryage to Parents to their superiours equalls and inferiours in all ages times and places This is that faire Edifice whereof intimation was made before fairer then the Edifices which have formerly been erected by Xenophon in his d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Institution of Cyrus by Plutarch in his Treatise e 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 of training up children by Clemens Alexandrinus in his f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Instructour of children by Hierome in his Epistle to Laeta concerning the g De institutune fiâ—iae educating of her daughter by Erasmus in his Discourse h De pueris slatim libeâ—aliter instituendis of timely and liberall training up of children or by others in like Treatises This Author hath more punctually and pertinently handled all kinde of duties from ones first entrance into this world to his going out thereof then any of the fore-named Authors or any other that have written of the like subject Such varietie of matter is here couched as it will prove usefull to all of all sorts that will reade and heed it The Lord give a blessing to this and all other like labours of his faithfull servants Amen William Gouge THE CONTENTS OF THE BOOK CHAP. I. WHat the Parents dutie when it begins Gods gracious work upon the Childe framing it in the wombe and giving it its due proportion of parts what thanks therefore pag. 1. 2. How Sinne defaceth Gods Image How repaired Of Baptisme and the solemnitie thereof The Mother the Nurse to pag. 4. The Mother is most imployed about the head of the Childe my head my head saith the Childe carry him to the Mother saith the Father 2 Kings 4. 19. The Mother is charged with the head Father and Mother both with the heart and this work is for the closlet pag. 4. What Infancy is called an Innocent Age but miscalled Something may be done even then for the rectifying the Childes body and his heart too Grave considerations pressing to that Dutie from pag. 5. to pag. 9. CHAP. II. CHild-hood and youth how they differ wherein they agree unhappy Ages both The period of this Age not easily defined The Parent makes it longer or shorter as their care is more or lesse pag. 10. Parents not discharged in point of care when they have charged the Schoole with their childe how vain that thought pag. 12. How preposterous the Parents care How much Father and Mother both do crosse their own ends What a point of wisdome it is well to Time our beginnings When the Seed-Time what their imployment there to pag. 15. CHAP. III. A Two-fold imployment which lyeth in the order of Nature and right reason Lets hindring this twofold dutie two fondnesse fiercenesse extreames yet ordinarily in one and the same Parent I. Of fondnesse what causeth it Youth more profitable Child-hood more delightfull * Fructuosioâ— est adolescentia liberorum sed Infantia dulcior Sen. epist 9. What hurt fondnesse doth The Divels murthering engine to pag. 18. Foure mightie considerations to fortifie us against it from pag. 19. to pag. 22. Three examples evidencing how destroying it is to pag. 24. Repeated concluded in Mr. Boltons words with some use of the whole to all Parents to page 26. II. Fiercenesse whose fruit it is and how much it hinders to pag. 27. It helps not to unroot evill but rather roots it more in to pag. 29. It hinders much the Implanting of good to pag. 30. Considerations which may help to calme a Parent when in heat of spirit he is about to unroot evill are three very worth his consideration to pag. 33. Considerations which may arrest a Parents hand when he is about the implanting of good are foure which being considered will command an answerable practise to pag. 35. CHAP. IIII. OVr nature like a soyle fruitfull of weeds what they are and how unrooted 1. Pride the heart-string of corruption Chrysostomes note upon it how cherished how the contrary grace may and ought to be instilled to pag. 38. 2. Frowardnesse a spice of the former The Parents dutie here how the contrary grace may be inforced to pag. 40. 3. The way of lying and the way the Parent must take to prevent the course of it a great work if it may be done if not the Childe is fit for no societie to pag. 41. 4. Idlenesse how corrupting and provoking Labour how naturall to a man how he is provoked thereunto to pag. 43. 5. A bad Malignus comes quamvis candido simplici rubiginem suam suam affricuit Sen. epist 7. companion how infectious and corrupting he will defile the best and most candid nature with his foule example pag. 44. 6. The evill of the Tongue prevented by teaching the Childe silence and this the Parent must teach himself and his Childe under five notions The briefe of that which concernes the Childes Instruction is while it is a Childe let its words be answers Nature teacheth much at this point and they more who walked by an higher light pag. 47. 7. An oath a word cloathed with death in a Childes mouth the Parent as in all so here very exemplary yea yea nay nay The Friers note upon those words No more must be heard from a Childe pag. 48. 8. The Childe must be taught what weight there is in those words yea yea c. A good hint there-from to teach the Childe to abhorre that religion which gives no weight to words nor oathes neither pag. 51. 9 10 11 12. Nick-names and abuses that way are ordinary with Children and a fruit of corrupt nature so quarrelling uncovering their nakednesse mocking scorning the meaner sort Great evills to be corrected and prevented in Children betimes a notable example to presse us thereunto to use our Inferiours kindely to pag. 53. 13. Cursing a great evill so imprecations against our selves Foure great examples full of instructions who spake rashly and were payed home in that they spake to pag. 57. 14. As Childrens Tongues must be watched over for the Tongue is a world of wickednesse so must their
hands They will spill more then they eate how to teach Children to prize the good creatures pag. 59. 15. Children delight in the pain and vexation of those weake creatures that are in their power A great evill to be looked unto and prevented betimes considering our natures what they are page 61. 16. Nature fruitfull of evills more then can be pointed at or prevented but that is the true and genuine order of nature to prevent the evills thereof first pag. 62. 17. Teaching by examples the best way of teaching and the shortest they make the deepest impression pag. 64. CHAP. V. THe implanting of good the order therein The foure seasons in the day seasonable therefore 1. How uncomfortable darknesse is how comfortable the light A notable lesson there-from wherein our light and the true light differ to pag. 67. The Sun knoweth his appointed Time what that teacheth The Sun is glorious in his rising and refresheth how that instructeth pag. 68. Sin and sorrow will sowre the sweetest earthly Blessings where the root of our comfort pag. 69. The Sun a publique servant teacheth man so to be even to serve his brother in Love and to shew to him the kindnesse of the Lord what the Idol of the world what makes man an abomination from pag. 69. to pag. 71. The Morning the first fruits of the day our season what a Mercy to have it but a greater to take it what our first work and with whom what our engagements to set about it what may be instilled by continuall dropping from pag. 71. to pag. 77. CHAP. VI. VVE eat bread at Noon What that implieth how fraile our bodies what our use therefrom pag. 78. Our right to the Creatures how lost how regained pag. 79. In eating we must use abstinence Intemperance how provoking to God how hurtfull to man and unbeseeming the Lord of the Creatures to pag. 81. When the fittest season to teach and learn abstinence how necessary a grace specially in these times when so much wrath is threatned What use a Parent must make hereof to Children Their lesson before and at the table to pag. 85. When we have eaten we must remember to return Thanks The threefold voice of the Creatures what the Taxation or Impost set upon every Creature If we withhold that homage we forfeit the blessing The memorable words of Clemens Alexandrinus A strange punishment upon one who seldome or never returned thanks so concluded pag. 90. CHAP. VII THe Method in reading the Book of the Creatures Foure Objections with their Answers out of the Lord Verulam to pag. 93. How to reade the Book of the Creatures Extreames corrected and accorded Two primitive Trades An Apocrypha Scripture opened and made usefull to pag. 97 How to teach the Childe to spell the Book of Nature What is the compendious way of Teaching to pag. 100. Essayes or Lectures upon the creatures beginning at the Foot-stool Three enquiries touching the earth 1. What form or figure 2. Whence its dependance 3. What its magnitude Instructions therefrom very grave and usefull all from pag. 100 to pag. 107. A view of the Creatures In their variety delightfull and usefull Two Creatures onely instanced in From a little Creature a great instruction What a mercy to be at peace with the stones and creeping things From pag. 107. to pag. 114. The Waters their Surface barres or bound Their weight II. The Creatures therein the ship thereupon Great lessons from all from pag. 114. to pag. 122. repeated and mans ingratitude convinced 123. The Aire The wayes and operations thereof admirable III. Whence changed and altered for mans use sometimes for his punishment The windes Their circuit Their wombe to pag. 125. The winged Creatures Their provision and dependance greatly instructing man and reproving his distrust to pag. 126. The Clouds the ballancing of them The binding the waters within them The making a course for the Rain out of them All these three the works of Him that is wonderfull in working to pag. 127. Of Lightning But the Thunder of His power who can understand Job 26. 14. The Snow and the Haile and where their Treasure to pag. 128. The wonderfull height of the starrie Heaven Of the Firmament IIII. Psal 150. Why so called and why the Firmament of His power The eye a curious Fabrick of admirable quicknesse How excellent the eye of the soul when cleared with the True eye-salve The heavens outside sheweth what glory is within Chrysostomes use thereof and complaint thereupon to pag. 134. Of the Sunne Why I descend again to that Creature Three things in that great Light require our Mark. Grave and weighty lessons from all three Concluded in Mr Dearings and Basils words to pag. 144. CHAP. VIII THE Day and Night have their course here But after IIII. this life ended it will be alwayes Day or alwayes Night A great Instruction herefrom to pag. 147. Our senses are soon cloyed We are pleased with changes What Darknesse is The use thereof A little candle supplies the want of the Sun How that instructeth How we are engaged to lie down with thoughts of God to pag. 153. CHAP. IX A Great neglect in point of education Mr Calvines Mr Aschams Mr Perkins and Charrons complaint thereof The ground of that neglect to pag. 156. The Parent must fix upon two conclusions Of the School Whether the Childe be taught best abroad or at home 157. The choice of the Master Parents neglect therein The Masters charge 159. His work His worth if answerable to his charge to pag. 160. The Method or way the Master must take How preposterous ours Who have appeared in that way to pag. 164. The School must perform its work througly The childes seed-time must be improved to the utmost before he be promoted to an higher place The danger of sending Children abroad too soon When Parent and Master have promoted the Childe to the utmost then may the Parent dispose of the Childe for afterwards to pag. 165. CHAP. X. OF Callings Some more honourable as are the head or eye in the body But not of more honour then burden and service Elegantly pressed by a Spanish Divine and in Sarpedons words to Glaucus to pag. 169. The end and use of all Callings pag. 171. Touching the choice of Callings How to judge of their lawfulnesse To engage our faithfulnesse No excuse therefrom for the neglect of that one thing necessary Our abiding in our Callings and doing the works thereof How Nature teacheth therein The designing a Childe to a Calling Parents too early and preposterous therein 177. Parents may aime at the best and most honourable calling The Ministerie a ponderous work 178 But he must pitch upon the fittest In the choice thereof the Parent must follow Nature and look-up to God A CHILDES PATRIMONY Laid out upon the good Culture or tilling over his whole man CHAP. I. Wherein the Parents dutie doth consist and when it begins Of Infancy A Parents dutie begins where the childe had
its beginning at the wombe There the Parents shall finde that which must busie their thoughts about it before they can imploy their hands And this work lyeth specially in considering Gods worke upon the childe and how their sinne hath defaced the same First they consider Gods worke and the operation of His hands how wonderfull it is and how curiously wrought in the secret parts of the earth so the Prophet calls the Wombe because Psal 137. curious pieces are first wrought privately then being perfected are exposed to open view It was He that made the bones to grow we know not how then clothed them with flesh He that in the appointed time brought it to the wombe and gave strength to bring forth Here they acknowledge an omnipotent hand full of power towards them and as full of grace and they doe returne glory and praise both But here it ceaseth not Now they have their burden in their armes they see further matter of praise yet in that they see the childe in its right frame and feature not deformed or maimed Some have seene their childe so that they had little joy to looke upon it but through Gods gracious dispensation it is not so and for this they are thankfull And upon this consideration they will never mocke or disdaine nor suffer any they have in charge so to do a thing too many do any poore deformed creature in whom God hath doubly impaired His Image This they dare not do for it might have been their case as it was their desert Deformitie where ever we see it admits of nothing but our Pitie and our Praise 2. Thus they see Gods handy-worke and it is wonderfull in their eyes but still they see their owne Image also and cause enough to bewaile the uncleannesse of their Birth What the Pharisees once spake of him whose eyes Christ had opened is true of every mothers Childe Thou wast altogether borne in sinnes which should Joh. 9. 34. make every Parent to cry out as that mother did Have mercy on me O Lord thou sonne of David my Childe is naturally Matth. 15. 22. Joh. 3. the childe of wrath Except it be borne againe of water and of the spirit it cannot enter into the kingdome of God The Parents see evidently now that they are the channell conveying death unto the childe The mother is separated for some time that shee may set her thoughts apart and fixe them here The father is in the same bond with her and in this we may not separate them God hath made promise to restore this lost Image this not tooke but throwne away integritie And this now their thoughts run upon and they pray That the Lord would open their mouthes wide and enlarge their hearts towards this so great a Mysterie They have a fruit of an old stocke it must be transplanted and out they carry it and into the Church they beare it as out of old Adam whence was transmitted to it sinne and death into the second Adam whence it may receive Righteousnesse and Life Then at the fountaine they hold it blessing God Who hath opened it for sinne and for uncleannesse And there they present it not to the signe of the Crosse but to Blood Sacramentally there that is Righteousnesse purchased by the death of Christ and now on Gods part appropriated and made the childes And the Parents blesse His name and exalt His mercy who hath said at such a time as this Live Who hath found out Ezek. 16. 6. a Ransome to answer such a guilt A righteousnesse to cover such a sinne so big and so fruitfull A life to swallow up such a death with all its issues This the Parent sees in this poore element Water appointed by God set apart fitted and sanctified for this end With it the childe is sprinkled and for it the Parent beleeves and promiseth Then home againe they carry it It is a solemne time and to be remembred and the vaine pompe takes not up much time where wiser thoughts from truer judgement take place Friends may come and a decency must be to our place sutable but the Pageant like carriage of this solemne businesse by some speaks out plainly 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 A fancie Act. 25. 23. that the heart is not right nor is that vaine pompe forsaken which yet is now upon their lips to say They who have better learned Christ do better understand the nature and solemnitie of the action they are about so their great businesse is with God before whom they spread themselves and their childe Who can worke by meanes as secret as is the way of the spirit and can set this water closer to the soule then He hath set its bones which yet no man understandeth nor can tell when or how To Him they offer it before Him they lay it praying That this water may ever lye upon the heart of theirs as a fruitfull seed quickning renewing sanctifying That that water may as the Rocke ever 1 Cor. 10. 4. follow the childe The rocke removed not but the waters there-out followed them so the Parents pray That this water may ever follow the childe as a fresh spring still quickening washing refreshing untill the day of refreshing shall come This is their dutie now and this is all they can do beside the tending of it and this their dutie and their life must end together Now the childe lyes at the mothers breast or in the lap she is the nurse without question or so she should be though it is a resolved case that in some cases she cannot and in some she may not mercy must be regarded before this sacrifice But looke we still That mercy be not the pretence and ease the thing that is pleaded for that alters the case very much and will not prove a sufficient excuse wherewith to put off so bounden a dutie The * Aul. Gel. lib. 12. cap. 1. Macrob lib. 5. cap. 11. Erasm puerp Heathen have spoke enough to this point and more then all the Christians in the world can answer for the deserting and putting off unlesse in the cases before pointed at this so naturall and engaged a service At the mothers breast then we suppose the childe is and the eyes are open abroad it looks nothing delights it they shut againe as if it would tell the Parent what they should be now and it selfe hereafter both crucified to the world and the world to them 3. The childe is yet so little that here is little for the father to do yet All that is and it is no little worke is in his closet But besides that for it is the mothers worke too here is work for the mother enough It must be tended though it sleepe much more when it is awake And here is the observation It is hard to say which is more the mothers tendernesse or the childes frowardnesse and yet how they agree how they
kisse one the other as if the parent were delighted with it It is an affection somewhat above nature implanted for the preservation of man so the Heathen could say by the God of mercy otherwise it might not be so for the more froward it is the more she tenders the little thing And it much encreaseth the childes score which he can never pay The Parent and the childe can never cut scores or strike tallies for they will never lye even 4. Infancy is a dreame we say The most part of it is spent in the cradle and at the breast the remainder in dressing and undressing Little can be said to it And yet something may be done even the first two yeers for the framing of the body as Nurses know best but something it is and the fashioning of the minde too and the younger it is with the better successe I have read of a great Conquerour yet not so great as that he could overcome his passions or an ill custome it is a second nature he learnt an unbeseeming gesture at the brest and shewed it on his throne If I remember his Nurse was blamed for it for she might have remedied it while the parts were tender Some-thing may be done also for the fashioning of the minde and preventing of evill It is much what they who are below Christians have spoken and practised this way which I passe over Note we The first tincture and dye hath a very great power beyond ordinary conceit or my expression And therefore observe well what they do who are about this childe not yet three yeers old and what the childe doth It may soone learne some evill and that evill may grow past helping quickly Looke to the eye and eare all goes indifferently in as well as at the Mouth and you shall smell the Caske presently just what the liquor was Keep the inward and hid-man as you should do the outward neat and free from contagion and corruption as young as it is it may receive a bad tincture and that entreth easily now which will not depart without difficultie 5. I have heard a childe sweare before he could creepe Qui jurat cum repit quid no◠adultus faciet Quin. Aug. Confess lib. cap. 7. hereupon the heathen man hath asked what will such an one do when it is grown up I have seene a childe threaten yet it could not strike and scratch before it could hurt and pale with anger it was Augustines observation because another did partake of its milke And this corruption which so soone will shew it self is strangely furthered by a foolish practise Give me a blow childe and I will beat what hath offended This teacheth revenge betime that daring and presumptuous sinne for it disthrones God and puts the law out of office I say that practise leades unto it as we might easily observe if we would observe any thing Many thinke that the Time is not yet it is yet too soone to be so watchfull over the childe But by this neglect and putting off we suffer matter of trouble to be prepared We neglect not a sparke because it is little but we consider how high it flies and how apt things about it are to take fire There is no Lord Verul Essayes 21. 125. greater wisedome said that great Scholler then well to Time the Beginnings and on-sets of things Dangers are no more light if they once seeme light Our dutie is to looke to small things they leade to great Is custome no small matter said one who was short of a Christian Shorten the childe in its desires now specially if it be hasty and cry and will have it Then say some the childe must have it say I no but now it should not Shorten it here and the rather because it cryes if he have it give him it when it is still and quiet Correction rather when it cryes Let it not have its will by froward meanes Let it learne and finde that they are unprofitable and bootlesse A childe is all for the present but a Parents wisedome is to teach it to waite Much depends on it thereby a Parent may prevent eagernesse and shortnesse of spirit which else will grow up with the childe and prove a dangerous and tormenting evill We shall helpe this hereafter and soone enough say some Let the childe have its will now it is but a childe And be it so but that is the way to have a childe of it as long as it liveth As Sr. Thomas More said to his Lady after his manner wittily but truely They might as well say they will bend the childe hereafter when it is as stiffe as a stake though they neglect it at the present when it is as tender as a Sprig I will tell my observation I have knowne some children who might not be shortned least it should shorten their growth what they would have they should have for they were but children these have lived to shorten their Parents dayes and their own and to fill all with sorrow for afterwards they would not be shortned because they were not while they might a Siquid moves à principio move Hip. Hippocrates hath a good lesson and of good use here If thou wouldst remove an evill do it at the beginning As the spring of nature I meane saith the * Considerations touching the Church Lord Ver. applying it to the rectifying the politick body the spring of the yeere is the best time for purging and medicining naturall bodies so is the first spring of Child-hood the most proper season for the purging and rectifying our Children To come then to the maine instruction I intend here which is this As we observe Adams ruines appearing betimes in the childe so must we be as timely in the building against these ruines and repairing thereof It is a great point of wisedome as was said well to time our beginnings And this a parent will do if he shew but the same care about his childe as he doth about his house or ground if he observeth the least swelling or cracke in his wall or breach in his fence about his ground he is speedy and quicke in repaire thereof for it gaines him time and saves him a great deale of cost and labour both That may be done with a penny to day that will not hereafter with an hundred pound And that now mended in a day which will not hereafter in a yeere And that in a yeere which will not be done in our time So King IAMES so famous for his sayings pressed the speedy repaire of breaches in high-wayes We cannot borrow a speech that is more full I meane we cannot take a metaphor that is fitter to presse home this dutie it is low and descendeth to the lowest capacitie and teacheth the Parent to be quicke and expedite in repairing the ruines of old Adam in his young Childe for though it seemes as a frame but newly reared yet unlike other buildings it
beautifull but if you looke inward there was an ugly beast so we adorne the body when the soul the All of a man is neglected The soul calls for its due also we cloth the childes body the soul should not be naked we feed the body and cherish it the soul should be cared for and cherished also and in the chiefe place for the soul is the cause that the body is regarded suppose the soul taken from the body but one houre and how loth are we to cast an eye toward the body which before was so lovely in our eye A great reason this though there is a greater then that as the preciousnesse of the soul and the price was paid for it why the soul should be regarded and in the first place All is then what the Parents care is concerning that which is the man indeed And therein the care is commonly too little no way answerable to the hopes they have of their childe They will say yes They intend the childes good nothing more and the way they intend also conducing thereunto But what ever they say it must appeare by what they do for good intents are no better then good dreames except they be put in execution So their care is upon tryall what they do in way of promoting the childes good must evidence it as the surest witnesse Now that the childe can go and speake it can imploy its minde and body now the faculties of both are awakened and declare themselves Now must the Parents be doing if they will evidence their care and they must consider well what they do The childe imitates strangely it is taken like an Ape wholly by example The Parents practise I meane the Parent at large him or her that hath the oversight of it is the childes booke it learnes by it so it speaks so it heares it is fashioned after it it is chatechized by it It is its Schoole and the Church The Parents house must promote the childe in point of information more then can Schoole or Church though well provided in both yet Parents be too ready to referre all thither and so put all off from themselves Assuredly it is the cause of much mischiefe and sorrow in the world that the parents think themselves discharged of their duty towards their childe when they have charged the School with it Yet thus it is commonly for so experience tels us which is the Oracle of Time and makes all wise that observe it The mother thinks that the School must look to the washing her childs hands putting on the girdle its attendance at the table and his manners there and if there be any other faults as there will be many then we know who shall heare of them all and we know as well that none will be mended when there is no better care at home But so the mother thinks that she shall do her part for she is resolved that to the Master or Mistresse she will go and the childes arrand she will do and she sweares it too if she live to the next morning If it please God I relate her words being well acquainted with them the Master shall know the rudenesse of the childe how unmannerly and undutifull it is and how slovenly too Nay the Master shall know it will neither give God thanks nor say its prayers This is her errand and when that is done she takes it that she hath done her duty In the mean time I mention no other decay the childe grows so nasty that you would scarce take an egge out of its hand So much the Mother commonly neglects the childe whom she loves so dearly well and so much desires its well doing And for the Father he is upon such designes as may enlarge his heaps or possessions which he means to cast upon the childe like so many loads of Muck thrown together L. Ver. Essay 15. 85. upon an heap though money as one saith is like muck indeed not good except it be spread But so the Father enlargeth his desires and his means he knows not well for whom and so he intends his minde and for himself onely Essay 8. 37 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost Gen. 33 Hom. 59 a. he intendeth it For Charity will hardly water the ground when it must first fill a poole And little doth the Parent think how much he doth in so doing crosse the rule and the end he seems to carrie in his eye his comfort in his childs well-doing For those designes do trouble and hurt the wel-fare of the childe they do not serve it at all That wherewith the parent would load himself now and his childe after him usually makes the childe forget it self and the parent both The bladder is so blown with the windie conceit of that inheritance the Father hath purchased and is the childe 's in reversion that he can think of nothing but that and his Fathers yeers which he can roule in his minde betime as a piece of sugar under his tongue His minde is so stuffed with the thoughts of what he is heir to that by his looke speech gesture he shews plainly that he is not tractable not counsellable The Father hath laid up enough for it as he thinks and the childe takes it as the Parent means it for portion and proportion both And what folly there is in the childe which must needs be a great deale Stultitiam patiuntur opes Iuvenal Nimiâ felicitate socors Tacit. de Scjano Annal. 74. cap. 9. where no means hath been used to let it forth Riches will cover well enough Folly will not appeare under a rich Covering But this will appeare which is more unnaturall yet too ordinary such is the corruption that the childe is well content that the same head should be laid low which contrived so much to set the childes head so high I observed a childe once so he was though a man grown and I know him now a rich mans sonne and his onely heire who could not frame and set his countenance for that was as much as was lookt for for so short a time Haeredis luctus sub larvâ risus as while he prepared his hood he was close mourner and it was wel he was to follow his Fathers corps to Church I was present the while A sad but just judgement upon those parents who are sad and serious almost in al their designes excepting this one which is the maine the well ordering and good education of their childe Herein that which is at the best but a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Chrys Tom. 4. Vit. Monast lib. 3 cap 6. an accessary liberall maintenance is made a principall and that which is a principall the childes good and wholesome nurture is made an accessary and scarce that And this is To sell the horse to get some hay as Charron phraseth it In every thing else the Parent is wiser he will not build in a Citie or in
Glory Nay it may be said in the sweetnesse of His mercy also takes away that earthly Idoll that the occasion of such irregular affection removed He may draw the heart in which He principally takes pleasure to his own Glorious selfe the onely load-starre of all sanctified love and boundlesse Ocean of happinesse and blisse So much to the first extreame but too little to make it know a measure The Lord teach us here for to Him we Joel 2. 25. looke who can restore the yeers that the Locusts have eaten the Canker-worme and the Catterpillar So can He also all the harmes and losses which we have caused to our children by our extreame folly or bloudy negligence Assuredly these harmfull Beasts that Northern Army do not so much Joel 2. 20. hurt and prejudice the field as our indulgence doth our harvest of hopes which yet we looke to reape from ours The Lord pardon our iniquitie and adde more grace The other extreame follows hurtfull also but not so hurtfull 2 There is a fiercenesse in our nature as farre from knowing a meane as the other for it is another extreame Whence it ariseth for I follow the same method as in the other needs not our enquiry A fruit of corrupted nature it is and a distemper thereof and in distempers we neither know a meane nor can distinguish of persons We fling about us in distempers whether childe or servant is before us all are one while we are in the drunkennesse of passion It is not to be doubted but this distemper is to be found in Parents And we may note That they who are most indulgent are if provoked as they will soone be most severe and violent in their correction as if they had that absolute and universall power over their children which once the Parent had and much power yet they have all the craft is in the wise using of it But they doe not use it well now in their passion they will miscall the childe strangely and strike they know not where and kick too I set down what mine own eyes and eares have told me They do punish perhaps not Laudabat se non sine causa sed sine modo without cause as was said of one in another case but without all measure as if they were not children but slaves And then as was said in the other extreame we may reade without booke that no good can be done but much hurt rather while the Parent is so eager upon the childe it is not then teachable not counsellable for as was said feare betrayeth all its succours nor is the Parent in a fit case to teach or counsell it for what can be expected from a man in a frensie Anger is fitly called so A Parent carryed in a passion cannot mingle his corrections with instructions and where that mixture is not there is no Discipline for that is true Discipline when the childe smarts from the hand and Sim ul sunt haec duo conjungēda Argutio castigatio Inutilis est castigatio ubi verba silent verbera saeviunt unde rectè vocatur castigatio Disciplina quâ delinquens unà dolet discit Bright on the Revelat. chap. 3. vers 19. p. 72. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Not possible to put out fire with fire Chrysost in Gen. 32. hom 89. learnes from the tongue We must first convince a childe of his fault and then punish the same if the fault deserve it These two must ever goe together correction and instruction Correction is to no purpose where words are silent and stripes outragious Correction is truly called Discipline because the dilinquent smarts and learnes both together This then is my conclusion wherein I shall a little enlarge my selfe That roughnesse and fiercenesse doth not help in the rooting out of evill though there it doth best but much hurt it doth in the planting in of good there it lets exceedingly It furthers not in the unrooting of evill but rather sets the work back and roots it more in That is the first thing I shall make cleare 1. Man is a noble creature and lord-like of a good house as we say though falne into decay But this remainder or relique there is yet of his noblenesse you may easily lead him when you cannot drag him you may perswade when you cannot force and the more force the lesse good Mildnesse and Meeknesse and sweetnesse in carriage wins much 1. Voluntas cogi non vult doceri expetit A soft tongue breaketh the bone Prov. 25. vers 12. 15. to be observed both even sometimes with a crooked disposition when as roughnesse hardneth It is not the way to plucke down a stubborn heart nor to fetch out a lye though in these cases a Parent must be very active and if he spares his childe he kills it It is a great fault in parents saith one for fear of taking down of the childs spirits not to take down its pride and get victory over its affections whereas a proud unbroken heart raiseth us more trouble then all the world beside And if it be not taken down betimes it will be broken to pieces by great troubles in age I shall consider this evill and some others in fit place now in this place I am removing that which hindreth The parent is bound to teach the childe how to bear the Lam. 3. 27. yoke from its youth This duty the parent is engaged upon But the parent must use a great deale of discretion in the putting on this yoke The parent must not stand in a menacing posture before the childe as ready to strike as to speak and giving discouraging words too When we would back our Colt or break a skittish Heifer to the yoke the comparison holds well we do not hold the yoke in one hand and a whip in the other but we do before them as we know the manner is else there would be much ado in putting on the yoke and in breaking or backing the Colt they would be both more wilde and lesse serviceable It is much so with children if our carriage be not ordered with discretion before them we may make them like those beasts more unruly and perhaps all alike or if they learn any thing by such froward handling it will be frowardnesse When we would work upon a childe our carriage before it should be quiet and as still as might be just in the same posture that a man stands in before the live mark which he would hit he doth not hoot and hollow when he takes his ayme for then he would fright away the game by his rudenesse but so he stands as we well know the manner like one who means to hit the mark Our ayme is the good of the childe we must look well to our deportment before it else we may fright away our game There are some natures saith Clem. Alex. like yron hardly flexible but by the Pad li. 2. c. 10. pag. 97
fire hammer and anvill that is as he expounds it by reproofs threats blows and all this may be done and must if done well in termes of mildnesse and pleasing accent with force of reason rather then hardnesse of blows and if it might be in the spirit of meeknesse remembring still Mr. Tindals Letter Martyr pa. 987. words As lowlinesse of heart shall make you high with God even so meeknesse of words shall make you sink into the hearts of men I have observed a childe more insolent and stout under a rigorous and rough hand but calmed after the heat was over on both sides with a milde gentle perswasion that workt force and violence hardens when as a loving and gentle perswasion wins upon the heart thaws and melts the same Harshnesse loseth the heart and alienates the affections 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost Hom. 26. in 1. Cor. 11. but mildnesse gaineth all Proud flesh as experience tells us is taken down by lenitives the most gentle and soft applications So the pride and roughnesse of our nature is subdued by lenitives and not by another roughnesse as the Father speaketh elegantly We may note too the more rigour the childe apprehends and the more the rod is threatned which is the onely thing a childe feares the more the childe will hide it self like that unwise man who standing at the entry of an unlawfull but too much frequented place and finding himself eyed by a friend whom he would not should see him there shrunk in his head and in he went If a man had a Non sum adeò aetatum imprudens ut instandam teneris protinus acerbè putem c. Quint. lastit l 2. cap. 1. no more wit what expect we from a childe He was ashamed to be seen at the doore he helpt himself well to go within the doores then as his friend said he was within indeed and the further he was so much the more within so a childe will do he will hide himself in the thicket at least he thinks so further and further if he apprehend much rigour there is much wisedome to be used here and mercy also and great reason there is to incline us to both as we shall hear in due place For the present that which hath been said may assure us that fiercenesse helps not in the unrooting of evill it hinders much the implanting of good There it hurts very much which is the second 2. If ever mildnesse gentlenesse calmnesse and sweetnesse of carriage do good and do become then more especially when we would winne upon the affection and sink into the understanding when we would lodge some precepts in the minde draw the heart and set it right Now while we are instructing handle the childe freely and liberally in a sweet and milde way speak kindly to it we must now and then we may have its heart for ever if we be rough and harsh now we fright away our game The instruction which we inforce into the minde by a kinde of violence will not long continue there but what is insinuated and fairly induced with delight and pleasure will stick in the mind the longer Trem. Preface before Iob. If Moses be to instruct he is commanded to speak not to smite and it teacheth us That a sweet compellation and carriage wins much upon the heart but we suppose we are dealing with children It is a mad behaviour and no better to suffer the hand to move as fast as the tongue and to strike at the head too the seat of understanding The head is to our little world as man is to the great world the verie abridgement or epitome of a man spare the head of any place else you may drive out that little which is and stop the entrance for coming in of more The Lord make all teachers understand this truth and pardon our failings herein and the Lord teach parents also whose duty more peculiarly we are upon to correct and instruct their children in all meeknesse That we may all learn I will set down some considerations which may calm the parent and take off from his hastinesse when he would unroot evill a great enemy to that good he ows and doth really intend the childe 3. I suppose now such a parent who hath beene fierce and eager upon the childe striking flinging kicking it as the usuall manner is because of its stomack towards the parent which he will pluck down and because it stands in a lie which he is resolved to fetch on t such a Parent I suppose for such there are and this I would have him consider it may make him wiser against the next time First †1. Who is that upon whom he hath bestowed so many hard blows both from hand and foot too I tell but my own observation who is it he hath used so disgracefully with such contumelious words It is no other then the image and glory of God A strong consideration to cause the 1. Cor. 11. 7. parent to carry himself comely and reverently before the childe which he may do and yet make the childe both to know and keep its distance else it cannot know its dutie A Parent cannot conceive the childs condition to be more Maxima debetur pueris Reverentia Iuv. Major è longinquo Reverentia Tacit. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. de prosper Adver Hom 5. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 deplorable then was the Rich-mans in the Parable yet saith Chrysost and he makes it very useful Abraham called him Sonne a compellation still befitting a Father so also words and actions well becoming that sweet name a Jud. 9. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and most likely to winne upon and to convince the childe whereas bitter and vilifying words become not though we did contend with the Devill a Kinde words make rough actions plausible The bitternesse of reprehension is answered with the pleasingnesse of compellations Sonne let that be the name for so he is though never so bad And as a childe hath no greater argument to prevail with a Father then by that very name of love so nor hath a parent any stronger argument whereby to prevail with his childe then by that very name of dutie whether we respect his Father on earth whose childe he is or in heaven whose image and impresse he beares though now much defaced This is the first †2. And it is his own image too that 's the second consideration his very picture even that childe whom in the rage and rore of his anger he hath thrown and battered so He is a mad man that will kick and throw about his picture specially if the picture doth fully and lively shew forth his proportion This childe is the parents picture right and never so fully the parents image as now that it is in a stubborn fit It is a certain truth a parent never sees his own revolting and stubborn heart more expressed to the life then
then the labour of the work a See Aug. de Civit. l. 21. c. 14 Id inprimis cavere oportel it ne studia amare nondum potest oderit Quint. 11. then discouragements follow such as make them hate the book before they know it A parent must be very gentle and patient specially when he is upon the beginnings of things for they are hardest it is the first consideration 2. He must consider that now the childe is entred it must be taught the same thing again and again and yet again for yet it is not learnt The first impressions are weak b Quicquid incipit rude est Nemo non errat nisi qui saepissime non erravit Rumpal saepe stamina ut aliquando non rumpat Hier. ad Gaud. de Pacat. ep 16. lib. 2. the lesson is not firm nor will it be kept without continuall repetition and yet the parent must have patience a necessary virtue and well becoming the Teacher and as much promoting the learner whereunto this I conceive would be very conducible 3. Let a Teacher consider how unapt he findes himself to that Science he is newly entred upon if a Teacher would learn something he knows not whilest he is teaching the childe what himself knows he would see his own unaptnesse and pardon the childes As put case while I teach the childe Greek I my self learnt Hebrew Whilest the mother teacheth her daughter her needle she puts her hand to the Distaffe which she never did before though Ladies have and it hath become them The essentials of huswifery do well but to the purpose A man would hardly think how this would calme a Teacher We forget quite what we did and how unapt we were when we were children learning something now would make it fresh again though the difference is much betwixt a man and a childe and it must be considered What we understand fully we think a childe might understand more readily and hence proceeds more hastinesse then is fitting which shews the Teacher to be the verier childe 4. Lastly let the Parent consider how long he hath been a disciple and how little he hath learnt It may be an Elephant or some imitating creature may be taught more in one moneth then he hath learnt in a whole yeer in matters most necessary this consideration if it be put home would calme him sure enough And so much for the removing of the Lets CHAP. IIII. Our nature like a soil fruitfull of weeds What her evils are How unrooted or prevented NOw we look to the preventing of evils which while they are but in the seed may be crushed as it were in the egge before there comes forth a flying Serpent or Cockatrice and I begin with that which is most radically in us and first sheweth it self that is †1. Pride it is the sinne of our nature and runs forth to seed rank and luxuriant the soonest of any It is the first sinne which declares its life in a childe and last dies in a man We read a that Abimelechs skull was broke with a milstone thrown down upon him by the hand of a woman Judg 9. 34. then he called out hastily unto his Armour-bearer Slay me that men say not A woman slew him Observe saith Chrysostome a Tom. 6. ser 1. The man was dying yet his pride would not die Indeed it is the very heart-string of our corrupt Nature cut it and that beast will die but like the heart in the body it will hold out the longest I shall speak more hereof in my second part where we shall see the root of this sinne and the fruit of it too In this place being upon the dutie of a parent I shall onely shew how farre we parents fall short at this point and what our folly is for what we should soonest suppresse in children we first cherish and maintain Indeed all that are imployed about them b Quint. de claris Orat. are for the most part teachers of vanity unto them but of nothing more then of priding themselves and over-valuing their worth which is nothing whereto I conceive this makes a way verie ready and compendious †1. If a childe have some portion in the world above its fellows then it is presently a master or mistresse and others its servants He I include both sexes is taught to command when he should learn to obey and hath titles of respect given unto him before he knows how to deserve them or give them where they are due he hath others under him when he should be under others and not differ from a servant c Gal 4. 1 2 in point of subjection and obedience it is the old and standing rule though Lord of all This inhanceth our nature above the worth of it and makes the childe think it self some body d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Acts 8. 9. some great one when it is a very little one to that he thinks himself a very nothing I have observed they that have been masters when they were but Boyes and in their season to learn subjection have proved the basest servants afterwards and boyes all the dayes of their life †2. Another way there is to blow up this little bladder which is by putting on the childe such ornaments so the parent intends them as serve neither for necessitie nor ornament nor decency and then bidding the childe looke where 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Chrys hom 41. m Gen 18. it is fine An ordinary custome and very effectuall to lift up the minde To teach the childe so much to looke on it selfe that afterwards it cannot looke of I remember a merry fellow if he did intend hurt to any person would then give him a rich sute of apparell A Eutrapolus cuicunque nocere volebat vestimenta dabat pretiosa Hor. strange kinde of injury a man would thinke but he found it a sure way and certain to hurt He should finde his enemy looking work enough he would so looke upon his fine costly cloathes that he would forget the vilenesse of his body And for the minde of this man so prancked-up now it would be as new and as gay as his cloathes and then he would hurt him sure enough For this is a compendious way to take hurt or a fall To looke upon the cloathes and forget a mans selfe and his first principles Sr. Thomas More tells us of a countrey wherein the men went very plaine but the children were as gay as jewells bracelets and feathers would make them It was his fiction but it findes some realitie and truth amongst us with whom children are so decked up and some also who passe for and walke as men of whom we may say as the Prophet in a case not very different for they also lavish gold out of the bag to adorne their Idoll Remember this and shew your selves men But sure enough Isa 46. 8. our rule teacheth us otherwise touching our
that gives His children light in darknesse and songs in their night As Peter found it for behold to him a light shined in the prison x Act. 12. 7. so shall it be with all that truely feare the Lord A light shall arise to them in darknesse * Isa 58. 10. Psal 112. There is some cranny left whereby to let in light and a way open with the Lord for deliverance from all the expectation of the enemy though all the wayes be blocked up to man both in respect of the prison and the Iron-gate y Act. 12. 11. The children of Israel children of the day and of the light ever had in despight of the enemy and ever shall have light in their dwellings z Exod. 10. 23 though these dwelling are prisons caves and dungeons which the enemy calleth and indeed seeme to be like the shadow of death This meditation may be more enlarged for if nature be so solicitous as was said * Preface p. 19. in recompensing what is wanting much more then so will the God of nature do He takes from Moses a distinct and treatable voice He Himself will be a mouth to Moses He takes away Iohn a great light to His Church He gives the Lord Christ The Light of that Light He takes away Christ His bodily presence He leaves them not orphans comfortlesse He gives His Church a fuller measure of His Spirit He takes away strength of body He gives strength of faith establishment of heart He takes away a deare childe by that sorrow as by a sanctified meanes He formeth Christ in the heart It is of high use to consider how God doth supply in one kinde what He takes away in another as He doth make the little candle to supply the absence of the great Sun Lastly when we lye down we are to be taught as to recount the mercies of the day so to call to minde the dangers of the night Houses are marked out in the day-time and broke open in the night houses also are fired in the night And how helplesse is man amidst these casualties and dangers If a sleep the theefe findes him bound to his hand and if fire take his chamber he is fewell for it such sad examples we have known our eyes have seene The destroying angel but one of Gods guard hath set forth in the night and before the morning hath executed his commission our adversary wil do that to us sleeping which he cannot waking many have gone to bed well and before morning have made their appearance before the Iudge of the whole world and then as they lay down so they rise up and so provided or so destitute there is no time for provision then when we are summoned to appeare Naturally all things seeme black unto us in the night and if we see no danger nor see any reason of danger yet our fancy can create dangers unto us The Lords second comming is often mentioned in the sacred Scripture and as often in the night which defines not the time but shews the manner of His coming As a thiefe in the night as a snare suddenly when by the most least expected All these considerations should teach us to watch over our hearts and to take a strict account of our wayes at our lying down and to lift up our eyes to the Keeper of Israel that His eyes may be upon us for good appointing a sure Guard about us in the night As we cannot tell what a day may bring forth so nor can we know how our feares may increase before the next morning we cannot no not the wisest of men look forward a few houres to tell what may happen before the day-dawn a Imminentium nescius Tac. de Paeto 15. 2. which should engage our heart to Him who changeth not And that it may be so we must remember our prayers and our praises these being performed in a right manner do secure us touching protection in the night prayer will help us against carefulnesse notwithstanding our dangers are so many as we have heard it will suck out the heart of our feares and sorrows b Preces hirudo curarum Melanch so as they shall not hurt us nor dismay us but that we may lye down in peace But then we must remember what prayer is It is saith Luther The unutterable groaning of those who despaire of any strength in themselves c Precatio est gemitus inenarrabilis desperantium dese Luther in Gen. It is not every prayer which secureth us there is a prayer which more provoketh uttered only from the lips in such a manner as would not be accepted before our Governour d Melac 1. 8. We must remember our tribute of praise too great reason That we should praise the Lord who hath yet spared us in the night of our ignorance when we could not enquire after Him and in the night of our vanitie when we cared not for Him and in the night of our sorrow when our spirits were overwhelmed that we remembred Him not Thus hath He patiently spared and hitherto watched over us to shew mercy when we were secure and carelesse in our duties towards Him which engageth us the more to give the more praise to His name And so much may teach us to keep sound wisdome and discretion that when thou lyest down thy sleep may be sweet so I have done with those foure seasons in the day so seasonable for instruction CHAP. IX An ordinary and great neglect in point of education The ground of that neglect For the helping thereof the Parent is advised to fix upon two conclusions what they are Of the Schoole and School-master and the way he must go THus farre as my method or way led me touching the good culture of the childe It prescribes a way to no man no matter what way he takes so he doth his dutie and so the work be done and the end attained which is The tilling over the whole man by the well improving of this seed-time A season very much neglected willingly or ignorantly let slip and passed-over by the most Parents too many make but a waste of those so precious houres as was said e Preface pag. 20. and as it were an emptie space which yet being improved would serve to fill and store up that which would be of more use to promote the childe then the Parents purse though therein he puts more confidence Thus I say it is for the most part and we cannot easily believe how much the Family the Common-wealth the Church how much all suffer for this neglect herein And which is the losse indeed The higher the persons are and the more promising their parts the more for the most part they are neglected in point of culture and due manurance It was Mr. Calvins complaint f Hoc erat summū decus nobilibus nibil prorsus tenere doctrinae gloriati sunt etiam nobiles hoc
nomine quod non essent clerici quemadmodum vulgò loquuntâ—â— c. cal in Dan. cap. 1. The honourable of the land account it a point of their honour that they have no learning none at all And in this they glory that they are no Clarks as the usuall saying is Charron relates for it is out of another to the same purpose That Noblemens children learn nothing by order and rule but to manage the Horse he gives the reason Because the Horse is neither Flatterer nor Courtier he will cast a Noble-man as well as a meaner person g Of wisdome first book chap. 49. pag. 203. Our learned Perkins observed the like in his time Mr. Ascham a worthy Tutour to an excellent Princesse h As the Rose the Queen of flowers so she the Queen of Queens and of Kings also for Religion pietie magnanimitie justice you cannot question what Rose I mean sith so she was by desart and descent Lord Cooke Preface to Littleton tells us as much and it is very notable which he tells us this it is Some of our young Gentlemen count it their shame to be counted learned and perchance they count it their shame to be counted honest also For I heare say they meddle as little with the one as with the other A marvellous case that Gentlemen should be so ashamed of good learning and never a whit ashamed of ill manners such do lay for them that the Gentlemen of France do so But that is not so many good Schollers there young and Gentlemen indeed do prove that to be most false Though yet we must grant that some in France who will needs be Gentlemen whether men will or no and have more Gentleship in their hat then in their head be at deadly feude with both learning and honesty So he in his Grammar-Schoole page 18. five pages before * Page 13. The same goodman doth cast up the reckoning for these young Gentlemen that at the foot of the account they may read the issue and product of their cast-away houres and much abused good parts thus he saith The fault is in your selves ye Noble-mens sonnes and therefore ye deserve the greater blame that commonly the meaner mens children come to be the wisest Counsellours and greatest doers in the weightie affaires of the Realme And why for God will have it so of His providence because you will have it no otherwise by your negligence And God is a good God and wisest in all His doings that will place vertue and displace vice in those Kingdomes where he doth govern For He knoweth that Nobilitie without vertue and wisdome is bloud indeed but bloud truly without bones and sinewes and so of it self without the other very weake to beare the burthen of weightie affaires Thus touching the great neglect of our young Gentlemen in former times And the evidence of the present time doth cleare it That the most hopefull plants are most neglected and our Seminaries filled with the lesse promising slipp's too soone set there before they can suck any juyce or sap or too late when they are first run out to seed and wilde in some other place We see a great part of our Gentry Citizens and others running out very farre this way so as they are like the sluggards field and by their cut and garb they make their Parents feare as much as that great Gamaliel spake-out in his last testament That the childe will scatter as fast as the Parent gathered and emptie with as quick an hand as the father did take in For the end answers the meanes The childe was taught no obedience when it might now it is too old to learn The childe was not bended when it was tender now it is too stiffe it will follow its own bent The Parent hath slighted the grave counsell given him before i Chap. 1. p. 6. and chap. 2. and neglected his precious season and seed-time also And now that it is too late to call back yesterday he may thank himself for the evill consequences from that neglect and humble himself to smart patiently for smart he must if he have any feeling of the weight of his charge or of his childes miscarriage He had his childe in his hand and he might have carried him on fairely and have taught him to know God himself and his parents But the parent neglects this faire opportunitie till the childe be slipt out of his parents hands and from under his own also whereto he was at first too soon and ill trusted And then what follows we see and how the parents and childe complaines we have heard Pag. 18. 24. This neglect is manifest so is the hurt which issueth there-from The ground or bottom of this neglect is as manifest which is this as appeares by full discovery The largenesse of the childes patrimony causeth a barrennesse or scantnesse in its education He is heire of all no matter how the Georgicks are neglected He shall have goods enough for the goods of the minde the least care Learning will be but a burden at the best but a needlesse accessary so it is accounted and so it falls out commonly that the eldest childe is bred in such a way as that he can be of little use to himself and of no use at all to others amongst whom he lives If meanes fall short as commonly they do short enough to the younger brothers then they are designed to a trade and then writing and cyphering fits them for the best whether in citie or town If there be a third brother and he the lowest and weakest of all then he is designed for the Preacher as the Parents word is he must be the Scholler For the Parent hath a friend at Court he is sure in his purse as the wittie Knight said he knows a ready and road-way for his preferment My words here may be credited for I beleeve my own eares it is ordinary with Parents thus to say and to designe their children long before the time one to the Innes of Court the second to a trade the third to the Pulpit as we heard and accordingly the Preface pag. 26. Parent will and the Master shall order them while yet we may well discern that the Parent discovers his own inclination not his childrens fitnesse rather what he is resolved and will do then what the children can do For the helping of this great deceit and taking off this vaile of false opinion I would advise the parent to fix on two conclusions and accordingly to order his childe first this That learning is the principall riches but an accessary Learning makes the man it fits him and inables him both to serve himself and others whereas without it a man is commonly but a slave to himself and a burden to others The second is That the parents duty is and his endeavour must be with all his power to give the childe instructions universally good and profitable whereby the
digested yet can it help little the tediousnesse of our common course nor much promote a speedier and quicker way These helps before mentioned if we may call them so because so intended are above and in sight other things of more substance lie under hatch and cannot appeare Here at this point I must make mention of two the one Mr Brook projecting the other digesting a very exact method whereby Mr Horne the tongue may be moulded and framed to a speedy attaining of three languages The former was a seeing a Multorum ingeniorum magnae dotes veluti debiles ipsa paupertate aegrae jacent Barcl Euph. 3. 226. man though outwardly dark and had a clearer insight into the way of training-up youth then any man that hath yet appeared in so weighty a businesse wherein he laboured above strength and so broke himself in the work God hath now removed his shoulder from theburthen he is taken away from us and a poore widow with foure children the eldest not nine left behinde Gods peculiar care these and it is well they are for the common care is no bodies in particular we traversed this way and that and the other all three wayes but found no way for relief of the Mother and her orphanes so they are resigned unto His hand who makes a way in the wildernesse and will be seen in the Mount providing a lamb for a sacrifice He will provide also that the children of such a Father so carefull so faithfull shall not perish for want of bread nor perish yet worse for want of breeding But I recall my self remembring what I was speaking this That had this person before mentioned found incouragement and help for it is a work too hard for one or two he had then very much promoted the publick good for he had set out the clearest light to Grammar for the clearing and speeding the childes understanding and way therein that ever yet our Church hath seen And in good forwardnesse this work was set by him Mr Horne who was more then an eye and hand to Mr Brookes therein but there being little hope then and lesse now that there can be a hand which can widwife forth that birth if it should be perfected and fitted therefore it was but coldly proceeded in then and is like to lie now as a thing not thought upon or forgotten And therefore the forementioned Mr Horne hath taken the best and safest course and but according to the advice of his Elders he hath laboured for himself and is setting forth a work of his own whereby he leades on the childe to Rhetorick Oratorie Grammar is touched upon too in passage in a clearer way then any man yet hath gone before him in So Schollers like wells are the fuller the more they are drained x Pag. 71. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrys Tom. 5. serm 55 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The more they let out themselves for the good of others the more they are filled And a fulnesse this man hath if the skill in the languages and arts may be accounted so and which is the crown of all he hath an heart to lay forth his treasure and to spend himself for the common good And that is the way to encrease even to a fulnesse to empty our selves continually for the publick good as Chrysostome writes very usefully I have spoken this at this point in a zeal I have to promote the childes good my subject now and he who gives another his due doth not in so doing detract from any other I know there are many able and faithfull Ministers this way and the Lord encrease the number of them But I consider Schollers must be wound-up within the same common winding-sheet and laid to the same mould In that very day though their works follow them for their labour cannot be in vain in the Lord yet their thoughts perish It is good to know them and to use them while we have them Thus farre touching the way the Master must go and such helps which serve very much to promote the Scholler in the same way The Masters duty follows and that is to do his work throughly and fully in point of reformation and information before the childe passe from under his hand And Parents must have patience and suffer both to be done before the childe be other-where disposed of It proves no small disadvantage to the childe and Church that he is hasted to an higher Forme or place while his minde is empty and unfurnisht of such matter whereof before he came thither he should be well furnished or that he is posted into a strange countrey to learn the language before he hath learnt his Religion or attained any stayed or fixed carriage or command over himself The successe must needs be answerable for the childe is then most left to himself when he is least himself when he is in the most slipperie age and place y 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Chrys in Gen. Hom. 44. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Reade Ascham schol p. 13. I mean when the furnace of concupiscence is most heated as the Father speaks when affections are strongest from within and provocations more stirring from without Therefore till the childe hath some good understanding of himself and book till he can command the one and well use the other what should he do abroad either at the Vniversitie Innes of Court or in a farre Countrey We can neither teach nor learn how to weigh measure or point the winde as the Noble Advancer speaketh against the sending of children abroad too soon and too unripe Humanitie will not down nor Logick neither and Littleton worse then either of the former They that go too unripe to those places quickly grow rotten In all probabilitie and we cannot easily conceive otherwise youth will leave that they understand not and can finde no sweetnesse in And they will to that which they can do and their natures must needs relish They will to such companions their books they understand not whose language they can skill off and when they cannot draw at the fountain they will to the sinke in those places and you may sent them as strongly that there they have been as if they had fell into a vessell wherein is no pleasure There is great cause we should labour to set our children as upright as we can and to fix their carriage before we send them forth from us else there is great danger of miscarrying considering what our natures are as was said z Pag. 44. The summe then touching this point is That there be a Graduat proceeding with the childe as up a paire of staires That the childes seed-time be improved to the utmost And for the daughter that she have generall instructions all qualities the parent can bestow which may set off and yet stand with decency and sobrietie more specially that she be accustomed to the essentialls of huswifery unto all
ease and libertie which he thinks a change may bring as the asse in the fable and if he may to the writing-school then he is sure of it the Latine school is too close for him he is for his good too much pent up there Here we may observe how the childe will turn and winde himself in to the Parent The childe will make the Parent beleeve that he can no way skill of the book but of any course else very well what the Parent will for that way his ingenie doth bias him so the childe will say and so the Parent beleeves him whereas his bent is onely that way which he thinks may give him more libertie scope and elbow-room in the world Therefore the Parent must be as wise as a serpent for the childe is not so innocent as a dove It is the very master-piece of a childes cunning to deceive and hurt it self A Parent then must not hearken to the childe but to his own discerning of the childes parts and accordingly he must fit him with generall instructions making him as capable as he may and ready girt for any course But for the designing the childe to this or that calling requires a clearer insight unto the childes inclination and abilities that way then the Parent can attain unto by his own strength and therefore the Parents work in this case is more specially and peculiarly with God He looks up to that Hand which wisely ordereth all things and which is never looked up unto in vain He remembers that the Lord Christ prayed all the night before He chose His Disciples which teacheth man what to do in matters of weight and difficultie even to wait upon a secret and invisible Hand which way that points and directeth And if the Parent do look up earnestly to This Hand which cannot be in vain it will easily be discerned thus That Parent whose eye is to God carrieth the same single towards His glory He thinks not what advantage may come what preferment may be had he thinks not thereon as on a Principall But how the childe may receive most good he means that which is good indeed how he may do most service most promote Gods glory This is the very life of the Parents life and it must be the very soul of his actions it was the end wherefore God gave them the childe and for that end they must return the childe back again So the Parent aimes at and desires the best and most excellent way but he looks to the childes fitnesse that way he will proportion his childes place to the portion of his childes gifts that the childe may not stretch k 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 2. Cor. 10. 14. himself beyond his proportion not Tenter himself beyond his scantling If a low gift then to a low place a doore-keeper he is content to make his childe that is he is content to set him in the lowest rank or form and he sees comfort enough therein so the childe prove faithfull It is not the height of a calling that commends a man or that advanceth Gods glory but a faithfull discharge of the calling how low soever l Nullum tam sordidum ac vile opus in quo modò vacationi tuae pareas quod non coram Deo resplendeal pretiosissimum habeatur Cal. Inst lib. 3. c. 10. sect 6. Therefore a wise Parent would rather his childe should be an honest and faithfull scullion serving in the kitchin then a proud Mistresse serving her lusts rather a good servant then a bad Master rather a wise childe rich in graces though sitting in a low place then a foolish childe sitting in great dignitie He would rather have his childe a Prince so we are all by profession Sonnes of a great King m 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Isid Pelus lib. 2. ep 147. that is one that can wisely command it self ruling those that are others masters though it be as low as the earth and going on foot then a servant to his lusts though on horseback 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrys in 1. Cor. 1. Hom. 5. Let no man be ashamed of his trade how mean soever if it be lawfull but let the idle person be ashamed who perhaps hath many servants attending upon him and imployed about him when in the mean time the Master doth nothing let such an idle person be ashamed and as much honours done to him as is to him whom the king will honour This the minde of a wise parent but few there be such and therefore few of that minde The rule is and the summe of all A wise parent contrary to the custome of the world doth dedicate unto the Lord The male in his flock that is the first and best of his strength and glory but designeth not his childe further then he discerneth an invisible hand guiding the childe and enabling him for service And so much that the Parent may attend his seed-time not slacking his hand then the childe shall be fitted for some work but not designed to any till the Parent can discerne the childes fitnesse and a secret hand pointing him thitherward whereto the Parent earnestly looks and whereon he faithfully depends not troubling himself about Gods charge which is to provide and protect but his own dutie which is to give all diligence yet without carefulnesse and so the Parent doth his duty and teacheth the childe his that both Parent and childe may rejoyce together FINIS A CHILDES PORTION THE SECOND PART RESPECTING A CHILDE GROWNE VP That thy trust may be in the Lord I have made known to thee this day even to thee Prov. 22. 19. He that followeth after righteousnesse and mercy findeth life righteousnesse and honour Prov. 21. 21. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. As our heavenly Farther so the Earthly desires to reape no more fruite from the Childe then comfort in it 's well doing how reasonable a desire this and how unreasonable for a Childe to deny the Parent that Clem. Alex. Protrep p. 4. Deut. 6. 24. 3 Iohn 4. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. The Tearme of Gods service admits no Vacation Id. Strom. li. 1. p. 201. Prov. 23. 17. 1 Cor. 15. 58. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Grace is an ever during portion Chrys in cap 48. Gen. Hom. 66. ω. 1. Chron. 28. 8 9. Psal 73. 26. London printed by I. Legatt 1640. TO THE RIGHT VVORSHIPFVLL AND MVCH HONOURED THE LADY MARGARET GARVVAY MADAM I Know you are troubled about many things nor can it bee otherwise such is the trouble of entertainement I shall call off your minde but a very little and to very good purpose though yet I shall not minde you of that you so well know that but one thing amongst many is necessary nor yet will I be your Monitor sith you are so well instructed that way remembring you to make sure of that one thing necessary because it is the better part beyond comparison the
ye may be accepted of the Lord that ye may live for ever with Him Oh it is good to strive here and not to faint It is for eternitie and for a crowne lasting so long and unlike other crownes still flourishing even to everlasting Gird up your loines That is put to all your strength and the Lord strengthen your hands to lay hold hereon and strengthen you the more the more feeble Age hath made you and the nearer you are to the putting it on Be as ye have been and be more abundant Eies h Job 29. 13 to the blinde feete to the lame that the blessing of them that are ready to perish may come down upon you as the Dew upon the grasse and your praiers may ascend as Incense coming up in remembrance before the Lord. But above all look to the root of all Faith Gods great work i John 6. 29. and gift restore that renew that the fruit k See the Book pag. 46 47. will be and be alwaies greene like a Watered garden which doth not fear the yeer of drought l Jer. 17. 8. Quicken the Mother-grace it will quicken you and every grace that ye cannot be unfruitfull ye cannot but adde one grace to another so building upwards stil towards heaven where we hope to see our Parents againe our yoak-fellows againe our children againe c. This is somewhat quickning but where we shall see our Lord Christ againe even as He is m John 3. 2. Lord what a joyfull vision will this be Thou knowest we know not nor know how to expresse it for it passeth all understanding Be abundant therefore in the work of the Lord in the labour of love work of faith patience of hope none of this can be in vaine in the Lord. In vaine more is understood then spoken An Abundant recompense there shall be pressing down running over For Temporalls eternalls for a sprinkling of mercy a weight of Glory for respecting His Christs here ye shall be ever with Christ and with His Christs hereafter where there shall be All peace and peace is all passing understanding where ye shall see the glory of His Inheritance and partake with the felicitie of His Chosen When all the Crannies of your right precious soules shall be filled with joy unspeakably glorious Our thoughts are too short to reach here much more short are our words Their scope is to set your hope before you and to make it precious in your eies that in this earthly Tabernacle ye may have your conversation in the highest heaven from thence looking for a Saviour Who shall change this corruptible body to make it like to His glorious body in that blessed Time which shall scatter away all afflictions and seale within you the happy assurance of immortalitie therewith cloathing a weake body and recompensing a few sorrowfull daies with everlasting peace In which hope say now and alwaies Lord encrease in us our faith and hope that in assurance of Gods love our consciences may be at peace and in the revelation of Gods glory our hearts may be filled with joy in the Lord. Yee see now the full scope of my words even to leade you to hopes on high for they will send your thoughts on high they will purge quicken stirre up they will elevate and advance the soule to a wonderfull height And now that my words have attained this end as I hope they have even to set your affections hearts heads hands all a work ye labour to be accepted of the Lord my words shall here end also so soone as I have onely mentioned the Apostles fare-well I commend you to God and the word of his Grace n and have subscribed my selfe Your worships in a double obligation EZEKIAS WOODVVARD THE PREFACE PREPARING THE EARE OF him or her who is a Childe in understanding My deare Childe HItherto thou hast been an hearer onely growing up as my papers fill'd and as an accession of yeers through Gods goodnesse gave some addition to thy growth and capacitie so did I to the strength weight of my Instructions I suppose thee now growne up and thy knowledge answerable to thy yeers for though a Childe is made a patterne yet we must not be like it in understanding When we were Children we did and we spake as children and all was comely but when we out-grew Childe-hood we out-grew Childishnesse a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Clem. Alex Strom. p. 51. We had need of Milke and not of Strong Meate for we were as Babes unskilfull in the Word of Righteousnesse but now our stature is increased it were a sname that we should be Dwarfes in the Inward man the man indeed They can have no Apologie or excuse for themselves who are growne up to full yeers yet have a Childes understanding b 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost Tom. 4. quod nemo laedit c. I suppose thee then of full Age even such an one as I would have thee who by reason of use hast thy Senses exercised to discerne both good and evill c Heb. 5. 13. 14. Childehood and youth are the Parents seed-time when they must look to their dutie The after-Age is the season of fruit when Parents expect an harvest of their paines Children then must look to their dutie that Parent and Childe may rejoyce together But alas how many Parents are deceived here even they who have not neglected their seede-time They think upon the Instructions they have given the Intreaties they have used what my son and the sonne of my wombe and what the sonne of my vowes d Prov. 3 l. 2. These they think on but how many are quite lost how few or none take what may make for ease and delight that Children learne quickly so will the Horse the Mule the Asse and the Oxe put any of these to the Wheele they will quickly finde out the number of their Rounds and never after can be deceived in their Account e Charron of wisdome This is nature still and her field is fruitfull But no Earth there is that requires more labour and is longer before it yeelds fruit then Mans nature so decaied and wilde it is growne and so rightly compared to the Sluggards field as the person is to a Colt an Asse-Colt a wilde Asse-Colt The Philosopher reasons this case very pithily f Plut. de amore prolis pag. 157. He that plants a Vineyard quickly eates the Grape So in other graines some few Moneths bring them to our hands againe and the fruite of our labours to our Eie and Taste Oxen Horses Sheepe c. they quickly serve for our use and much service they doe in Lieu and recompense for a little cost But Mans education is full of labour and cost The increase is slow the fruite and comfort farre off not within Eieshot perhaps the Parent may kenne this comfort perhaps he may live to see it and to rejoyce perhaps also he
unmindfull of such a Master The dog hath led me a little beyond my mark but not out of my way my scope here is but this to shew that so we are degenerated so low are we falne the Beasts exceed man in their Naturals and men in their pure Naturalls make not that improvement of their senses for their Masters service their owne safety and mutuall comfort each with other as the Beasts doe no cause we should be proud of our Naturals And for Intellectuals being without that which the Apostle saith our speech should be seasoned with the Salt of Grace they may prove and ordinarily doe like Absoloms haire deadly So I remember a Knight that suffered upon Tower-hill acknowledged who had not returned his gifts to the glory of the Giver Nay more for wee hope better of him they make a man more miserable then the beasts that perish Achitophel is a sad example hereof so is Machevil who say the Italians so I learne out of Bishop Andrews rotted in â—pson Reason and speech they are the chiefe properties Ratio Orâ—tiâ— differencing man from a Beast Reason is the Crowne of a man his tongue his glory the same word in the sacred Tongue signifyes both But if man shall depose reason taking from it Hersoveraignty I mean in earthly matters then will a man be carryed like a horse that hath cast his rider and he will abuse his Tongue also vilifying that which should have honored him and in so doing he will liken himselfe to the most stinking place that we can passe by and to the most odious name that is named under the Sunne and so in the end will fall lower then a Beast can A Beast can fall no lower then the Earth nor doth it apprehend any evill till it feele the same and when it comes it is soone over and there 's an end Which remembers me of Pyrrhoes Hog that did eate his meate quietly in the Ship almost covered with waters when all the men there were halfe dead with feare But now reasonable Creatures are sometimes perplexed with unreasonable fears A mans apprehension may present evils that are not as impendent which may make his knees smite together and with all the apprehension of the time that is past and of that which to come may torment him too before he come to the place of his torment Bee not like the horse and mule then which have no understanding for then thy condition will bee much worse and lower then theirs in the latter end It may be I shall never call thee to an account nor live to see how thou hast thriven But consider this first what an Heathen o Plut. de fraterno amore spake it is very worthy a childs consideration We are charged that we doe ill to none much lesse to a parent but it is not enough for a child not to hurt his parents he must doe them all the good he can his whole deportment must be such such his words and deeds that thereby he may glad the heart of his parent else it is wicked and unjust Marke it for thus much it implyes It is not enough that the child doth not actually or positively give the parent cause of sorrow that were monstrous he or she must not privatively rob them of their comfort or stop them of their rejoycing even this were impious and unjust It is not enough not to grieve the parent not to give them matter of sorrow the childe that doth not more doth not his dutie he must give them matter of comfort and gladding of hearts This a childes dutie let a childe thinke of it and that an Heathen spake it from whom a lesson comes double to a Christian Consider again what the Lord saith It is a people of no understanding therefore He that made them will not have mercy on them p Esa 27. 12. Consider with that Scripture what the Apostle saith q 2 Thes 1. 8. In flaming fire taking vengeance of them that know not God c. If this and that be considered Thou wilt cry r Prov. 2. 3. after knowledge and lift up thy voyce forunderstanding wisdome is the principall thing therefore thou wilt get wisdome and with all thy gettings thou wilt get understanding Å¿ Prov. 4. 7. which only consolidates a man making him like armour of proofe or like a rocke for it fixeth the heart on Him in whom is everlasting strength Thou must consider also That an account must be given and the greater thy receits have been the greater thy accounts must be Line upon line and precept upon precept fills up the score apace A man looks to reape liberally where he sowes liberally And as God did bountifully reward the faithfull servant so did He severely punish the unfaithfull and negligent In the last place consider this and it sufficeth That a worthy name is called upon us even the name of Christ of whom the whole Family in Heaven and Earth is named t Eph. 3. 15. A name which will honour us if we honour it which will highly exalt us if we exalt it And this we do when our conversation is honourable and as becommeth in heaven though amidst the things of the earth If there be a precise walking a good and suteable conversation worthy that name u The Scripture acknowledgeth them Christians or the anointed of the Lord who live Christian-like according to Christ 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. Nazian Oral 21. p 378 then the Christian is the honourable person as the fruitfull vine the best amongst the trees or as those which were very good x Jer. 24. 5. But if we defile y Read page 36. that name by an unworthy conversation then are we the basest of men like the barren vine z Ezech. 15. 4. fit for nothing but the fire or unsavoury salt very bad and to be cast out a Christians are the worse the better they should be the more sacred their name the more accursed their guilt c. Read Salv. de Gubâ—r l 3. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the end and Li. 4. within two leaves of the end Christiani deteriores sunt c. Reatus impii est pium crimen It is a good conversation which commends a Christian and that only and which proves him so to be not miracles if a man could work them not revelations if a man could see them not signes and wonders if such a power were given from above It is the conversation which is all in all and justifies before men If I do not the works of my Father beleeve me not b John 10. 37. Our Lord said thus of Himself His work should testifie of Him c Luk. 7. 21. and be a foundation of their faith works are the standard by which we must be measured also whether we are in Christ and Christ in us If we do not the works of Christ such as He hath proposed for
is not of sufficient value to hold off or make a breach As it was said of the talents The Lord is able to give much more then this r But if goodnesse be wanting it is a greater want then is in a light piece of gold which in a great paiment will passe not withstanding as many great wants passe currant where there is a great portion Parents must shew their wisdome here else they fail in a prime duty They must choose goodnesse and not account it an accessary Better want the money then the man Å¿ See Chrysost of the choice of a wife Ser. 28. Tom. 5. Non sum ex insano amatorum genere qui vitia etiam exosculantur ubi semel formâ capti sunt Haec sola est quae me delectat pulchritudo c. calv ep 16. Religion t Mâ— Bolton direct p. 236. and the feare of God as it it is generally the foundation of all humane felicitie so must it in speciall be accounted the ground of all comfort and blisse which man and wife desire to finde in the enjoying each of other There was never any gold or great friends any beauty or outward bravery which tied truly fast and comfortably any marriage knot It is onely the golden link and noble tie of Christianitie and grace which hath the power and priviledge to make so deare a bond lovely and everlasting v Mendax est omnis secularis amicitia quae divini timoris vinculo non est ligata Chrys Hom. 24. in Matth. â—atin tantum which can season and strengthen that nearest inseparable societie with true sweetnesse and immortalitie So farre Mr Bolton and so much touching the Over-seers duty in making the choice 3. There is another main point That they give the childe leave to approve of the choice As the Childe offers the greatest affront to Parents in giving her consent without their leave and privitie so shall Parents offer the greatest wrong to the childe that can be thought of in concluding a match without or against the childes allowance we have an old example hereof and a standing rule We will call c x Gen. 24. 57. 58. To use constraint and force here is the greatest piece of injurie that is done in the world yet so injurious have some Parents been and so they have compassed their end some estate for their childe but quite forfeited the comfort of estate and childe both The parents care was for that the childe least cares for and neglected the main the childes liking of the choice This is most injurious dealing nay more not unlike his and that was most inhumane who joyned the living to the dead y Vâ—g AEâ— 7. Smithfield and other places have told us the sad sequells of such matches So then this is the next thing belonging to the Parents charge They will not proceed without the childes consent But it will be said as many times it falls out The Parents have made a fit choice and have asked the childes consent but cannot have it nor any reason except a womans reason why it refuseth And indeed so it may well be for the elder sort cannot alwayes give reason of what they like or dislike and when they can their reason is unreasonable in such cases no better then folly a See first part chap. 4. 13. 4. P. 55. much lesse sometimes can the younger And if so then the childe must be drawn on by all faire meanes and the plainest Arguments such as true wisdome and discretion can suggest whereby to win upon it and sweetly to incline the will And if after some time of tryall they cannot by such faire means prevail then the worl is wide enough they must make another choice they must not use force oh by no means I think now of the sad and heavy consequences herefrom So long as my childe hath a principle of life to carry her to Church let her not be borne thither as upon others shoulders for she matches for her self principally and for her life let it be with her full consent 4. It is proper to the parents charge and it is a point of their wisdome also to be watchfull herein that the parties have as little sight one of the other as well may be till there be some likelihood of proceeding And then but sparingly too till the match be made up There are two things necessary in all matters of weight That we have Argus his eyes and Briareus his hands b Prima actionum Argo committtenda sunt extrema 〈◊〉 De Aug 6. 41. p. 201. That is that we walk leisurely and circumspectly looking with all our eyes and deliberating with all our counsels before we determine and when so we have done then to dispatch speedily Young folk are good at the latter they will conclude quickly they are quick at dispatch but in point of foresight they are no body They spell the rule backward they dispatch first and deliberate afterwards which causeth so much trouble in the house and sorrow in the world They think not what they do they do to eternitie Parents must balast them here for they are like a ship without it Parents must foresee and forecast with all their eyes and more if they had them before young folk go to farre in this businesse Let this objection be nothing I must eat good store of salt with him or her first whom I would make my friend afterwards There is some use in it but not here betwixt young parties If their affections meet for the present they examine not what may cause a disagreement hereafter Let the parents look to that and judge of their dispositions they may do it and they ought the younger parties cannot their judgement is steeped in affection as was said they have little discerning further then as may fit the present but one or both can so intangle themselves and very quickly that if the match should break the weaker breaks with it and carrieth the trouble of it to the grave I have observed it so also and I tell no more but mine own observations all along Let them have as little familiaritie one with another as possibly may be till the match be made up and then as befitteth Christian modestie 5. And now I suppose the match treated upon proceeded in and concluded in such a way as is most agreeable to Gods will and word for in so doing we may expect a blessing There is but one thing remains as a close to that great businesse The solemnizing thereof according to the same rule And here we require the parents care and circumspection at no point or circumstance more wanting yet at no time more needfull for it is the last and chief point of their duty and evidenceth what their sinceritie hath been in all they did before touching their proceeding in and concluding the match They must remember now and consider with all consideration That they are on this solemne day laying
are filled as a bottle with wine Drunk with the bloud of the Saints Tell the childe this he may understand it and so understand it that he will never look back to this Sodom never return to that Aegypt for a silly fish the Naturalists say will not come to a bloudy hook Now for us men if we shew our selves men we have from hence made Davids conclusion I have sworn and I will perform k Psal 119. 106. it when we have sworn when our words are within that inclosure we dare not break-out we will perform we are fully purposed so to do if in licitis l Juramentum non debet esse vinculum iniquitatis Zanch. de Spons if not we know the rule Remember we must still what the Lord saith to David for as to David so to us He hath sworn to do His people good yet do they provoke Him with many unkindnesses and much hard usage every day and though they do so so often break covenant with Him yet will not He break covenant with them nor alter the thing that is gone out of his lips m Psal 89 34. This we must observe for our imitation for they keep us from perishing And thus much that parents may learn and that they may teach their children how sacred a bond an oath is § †9. We may observe children very abusive one with another they will seem not to know one the others name Prevent this evil quickly in teaching them better manners they have no excuse for that fault the childe knows his name and who gave him that name and wherefore for distinction sake he knows that he might call others and be called by the same name If a parent heare a Nick-name from a childes mouth let the childe feel the parents hand Truâ—â—â—e the abuse is not light § 10. We may observe them very quarrelsome striking one the other and very commanding over servants though during their minority or nonage they differ not Their words should be intreaties they must be commanded not command If they strike they must feel the blow from the hand to whom it doth belong One commander is enough in a house and the childe must be taught awfully to observe that one whether him or her Remember still that a Aug. decivit 14. 12. Obedience is the best lesson that a parent can teach the childe And look he must that the childe learn it as he looks to have him prove a peaceable man here-after else he will prove a great troubler of the house perhaps of the whole state § 11. We may observe children very ready to uncover that which Nature hath hid no point of their innocency this at these yeares to shew their nakednesse which heathen have shamed to do b Cic Ossic 1. p. 53. Aug. de Civil 14. 17. Clem. Alex. paed l. 2. c. 6. p. 125. c. 10 p. 141. lib. 3. p. 187. Zanch. cap. 1. Gen 1. 21. Nature hath taught us so much at this point and they who had no other light that I need but point at it and referre to the margent But beleeve me children must have instruction and correction at this point they will need both § 12. Children will mock scorn and scoff very ordinarily especially such as are poore impotent or deformed as if such had not the same flesh with them or as if God made not the difference We see it dayly thus If God doth afflict any laying them low such these children will have in derision they will as Iob c Effraenate in me invecti sunt quasi immissis vel excussis habenis Job 30. 11. saith let loose the bridle before such poore-ones speaking reproachfully with their lips We know the danger and our duty let them not scape by any meanes it is very evil in it self and it tends to more I would children were onely faultie here and that they did not learn it of their Elders who not onely too d 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 We must use our servants as we would be used for they are men as we are Clem. Alex. paed 3. cap. 11. A noble man was wont to make his servants drudge like horses and when they were at their drudgerie his manner was to curse them and to call them by no other name then dogges Not long after falling sick his voice was taken from him and when he would speak he barked Camer tells this story chap. 86. p. 436. as a judgement wrought amongst them and which he saw which may teach us so to speak to and so to use our servants as fellow-servants for so they are as one saith Inferiours to us but men with us servants but fellow-servants Macrob. Sat. lib. 1. cap. 11. imperiously command those that are in subjection to them but also too often abuse some poore silly creatures yet of the same mould and image with them as the Philistines did Samson fetching them out to make them sport Assuredly the lowest of men is too high and noble a creature for the highest man on earth to vilifie or trample upon Though yet not to speake of some in a lower orbe so the proudest man on earth for he saith he is as high above Princes as the Sun is above the Moone hath dealt with those whom God had exalted putting them under his foot and he said he hath Scripture for it Psal 91. 13. But there is a Scripture fits him better and will hold him Proud and haughty scorner is his name who delighteth in proud wrath Prov. 21. 24. Note we this That as in the body naturall so in the body politick God hath set no one higher then the head and no one lower then the foot he must not be set under he must not be slighted scorned or contemned He that made him made thee He doth thee service here contemne him not for that but blesse God that made thee the head Remember also we have all one Master in heaven before whom we must appeare after we have layne together in the earth § 13. We may observe children very ready to curse others and wish the plague and pox upon them They consider not what a devourer the one nor how loathsome and defacing the other Indeed they know no other plague but the rod so they account it and let them feele how soveraign a remedy that is against the plague of the tongue for it is a plague indeed there is no more to be said to it but what hath been said that must be done We may observe also that children are very apt to curse themselves for they know not what they say A childe will ordinarily say I would I might never stirre hand or foot They will wish I would I might never speake I would I were dead and yet worse then these I would I might be hanged and yet worse The Divell take me All this these poore children will say who sees them and heares them not saying even so They
story and to be observed That a very proud King delighted much in his childe hood to put out the eyes of Quailes This King carryed himselfe afterwards with such pride and insolency that he had his denomination from it and delighted himselfe so much in crueltie and bloud that the people expelled him out of their Citie and Countrey with protestation never to receive any King againe so they changed the name of their Government An Emperour after him delighted as much to see the entralls of flies he killed as many as he could catch and tooke his times for it So the proverb was The z Ne musca quidem Suet. Dom. Emperour had not so much as a flye neere him This man or rather beast in shape of a man delighted as much in the shedding of Christians blood and as cruelly abused Gods Image which he had shamefully cast off Indeed there are some men who are cruell to Christians and kinde to Beasts But they have but the shape of men they are a Lege Dialog de bello sacro p. 339. Beasts indeed and therefore do they esteeme more of Beasts then of Christians It is b reported that a Christian Boy in Constantinople Had like to have been stoned for gagging in a waggishnesse a long billed fowle b Lo. Ver. Essay 13. p. 67. I would perswade but this from hence That children be not suffered to bathe their recreations in bloud as Mr. Bolton phraseth it Not to refresh their tyred mindes with spectacles of crueltie nor inured to behold rufull objects without horrour No beast they say takes content in the hurting of any other except in the case of hunger or anger They satisfie their appetite and rage sometimes with crueltie and bloud but their eyes and fancies never It is a debasing of humanitie below beasts to please the eye I say not in beholding one man teare and mangle another but to see poore beasts encountring each other and mangling each other being set on by man we must not make Gods judgements and punishments of sinne for we made the beasts wild our sinne put the enmitie betwixt the Woolfe and the Lambe c Quis seras fâ—cit nisi tu Mor. de verit religionis cap. 12. the matter and object of our recreation Alas sinfull man it is Mr. d Direct 156. Boltons patheticall expression what an heart hast thou that canst take delight in the cruell tormenting of a dumbe creature Is it not too much for thee to behold with dry eyes that fearefull brand which only thy sinne hath imprest upon it but thou must barbarously also presse its oppressions and make thy selfe merry with the bleeding miseries of that poore harmlesse thing which in its kinde is much more and farre better serviceable to the Creator then thy selfe Yet I deny not but that there may be another lawfull use of this Antipathy for the destroying of hurtfull and enjoying of usefull creatures so that it be without any taint or aspersion of crueltie on our part or needlesse tormenting of the silly beasts It is a sure note of a good man He is mercifull to his beast And it is worth our marke That the Lord commands a mercy to a creature perhaps not worth two farthings and for this He promiseth a great mercy the like blessing which is promised to them who honour their father and mother Deut. 22. 6 7. If thou finde a birds nest c. Thou shalt in any wise let the Dam go and take the young to thee That thou mayest prosper and prolong thy dayes This is to lead to mercy and to take out of our hearts crueltie saith Mr Ainsworth It is the least of all in Moses law and yet such a promise is annexed thereunto as we heard so true is that which the learned Knight hath The debts of mercie and crueltie shall be surely paid Think we on this so we have our duty and we shall teach our children theirs and then though the bloud of the creature be not spared for we have dominion over it yet it shall not be abused nor shall we delight our selves in the pain of it which tends to much evil which we must by all means and all too little prevent and at the first while the minde is tender and doth easily receive any impression 15. It is not possible to point at all the evils whereof our corrupt nature is fruitfull nor at all the meanes whereby to prevent the growth of the same I remember how e Ad Dâ—m 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Isocrates concludes his oration so full of instructions With all our diligence we cannot overcome the pravitie and corruption of our nature And yet we must not sit still therefore and do nothing at all because all we do is too little We must with the husbandman cast up the ground and cast out the stones and thorns that is the order and then cast in the seed that is our duty And we must look up to an higher hand who makes the seed to grow that is a parents wisdome We must not forget the order this plucking up these weeds first where with our nature like the sluggards field is over-run which will so choake the seed as that no fruit can be brought to perfection The Greeks have a proverb some what homely but it teacheth very much you must not put f 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Plut. dâ—educat meat into a chamber-pot This teacheth that good instructions to a stubborn and corrupt heart are as good meat to a foule stomack the more we put in the more we increase the distemper We must look to the cleansing the heart in the first place the keeping that fountain clean as we would the Spring-head whence we would fetch pure water I remember the reproof that was given to a very loose companion who yet would sit very close and attentive at a Philosophers lecture It g 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Aul. Gell. 17. 19. will come to nothing young man which you take in nay it will rather hurt then do good because you have not looked to the cleansing of the vessel And this reproof is the same in substance with that prohibition which we finde Ier. 4. 3. 4. h Clem. Alex. Strom. lib. 1. p. 203. When there is no pains taken for the cleansing of the heart first but we bring our old corrupted hearts to new and holy lessons they agree no better then new wine and old bottles all is lost the instructions spilt and if any good purposes were they vanish like the morning dew and the heart returns again like the swine or the dogge And the very reason thereof we have heard 16. We may note now in the shutting up hereof that we may abridge our way and make it shorter by leaving precepts and proposing examples for these take best with children and it is the more compendious and certain way So the sober master reproves his
more A fault carefully to be avoided for he that is unfaithfull in earthly things shall never have greater matters committed unto him and he who carrieth a negligent eye or eare towards the works and voice of nature gathering no instructions thence though the characters are most legible there and her voice cleare and audible shall finde no more capacity in himself for higher truths There is a place in the Apocrypha which is worth our taking notice of it will help to lead us the way betwixt those extreames it meets also with that stupiditie even now mentioned and corrects the same The wise man in the 38 chapter of his book verse 26. I Eccles. 38. vers 26. â—2 Eng. 25. reade after Iunius his translation for our English verse 25. may deceive us puts a grave and weighty question and it is concerning him who holds the plough and such persons who maintain the state of the world the question is Whereby shall a man be made wise At the last verse of the chapter in the Latine Translation he answers By nothing unlesse Vers 39 nisi qui adjâ—â—â—rit animum suum c. he be such an one who will apply his minde and meditation on the Law of the most High It is a place not lightly to be passed over The husbandman in that place may seem to have as he reades and so pleades his case a dispensation for his grosse ignorance but it is nothing so That Scripture tells us thus much and it is worth the noting that though he holds the plough which sheweth him the r Luke 9. 62. constancy of an holy profession for he looks straight before him he doth not look back much lesse take off his hand though he ploweth up the ground which sheweth him as in a glasse the sorenesse of afflictions how the wicked plow upon the Å¿ Psal 129. Micah 3. 12. backs of the righteous and what pains he should take with his own t Jer. 4. 3. heart also So preparing it for the true seed the word of life though he casteth in the seed still in the season and that he might understand his own season lookes to see again the very same seed which he sowes the very same u Job 4. 8. Hosea 8. 7. chap. 10. vers 12. 13. Gâ—lat 6 7. 8. and with a large encrease but it rots and dies in the earth x 1 Cor. 15. 36. John 12. 24. Chrysost in locum Hom. 41. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 first which answers the great objection and cuts the knot as I may say with its own sword The body cannot rise again because it dies and rots in the earth nay because it dies and rots therefore it shall rise and he is a fool in the Apostles sense who seeth not so much in the sowing and reaping his grain Though this husbandman seeth all this yet he seeth not he understandeth nothing thereby he is not made the wiser by it By what he speaks we may know what his heart doth indite no songs of praise unto his God He will notwithstanding glory in his goad all his talk will be of bullocks for he giveth his minde to make furrows and all his diligence is to give the kine fodder all is for the earth there-on he layeth out the pretious stock of time and strength thither-to he bends himself he entertaineth not a thought whereby to raise himself higher and it must needs be so unlesse he shall apply his minde another way and meditate on the law of his God when he shall do so then every thing shall instruct him and make him wise and not before Here now we have our lesson and the way to make our walk profitable we must apply our minde to that we see and we must meditate on the Law of our God That is the man who will learn by every thing that hath inured and accustomed his heart to compare earthly things with heavenly to trade his spirit to heavnely things by earthly occasions He shall be made wise who hath a gift it must be given from above to be heavenly that is to make every creature which is the work of a sanctified fancy a ladder to heaven to turn ordinary properties of the creature or common occasions to heavenly meditations This I say is the man who will profit by his walk being now in the open view of the heaven and the earth and observing Gods great works in both To conclude and to instance so making the thing plain that man shall gain much by his observations who hath but so much understanding as seeing a sheep before the shearer to see also the meek abiding and patience of the Saints seeing an ant a lillie a raven to think on a providence seeing an oxe knowing his owner and his crib to think what is the duty of a reasonable creature observing the stork and the swallow and our houshold cock all exactly observing their season and I think the last observing it almost to a minute To learn from these and to get as was said of the children z 1. Chron. 12. 31. of Issachar understanding in the times and to know what Israel ought to do He that can do somuch through Him that strengtheneth all and in all he can he shall be made wise by his observation of the creatures for he sets his minde to the thing and the Law of God is in his heart he will receive profit by every thing and teach others how to profit also so I come to the third particular How to teach the childe to spell nature c. 3. Childehood and youth are ages of fancy Therefore the Father I mean a father at large master or teacher he hath the relation of a Father must make great use of the childes senses for they have the best agreement with its fancy hereunto the book of the creatures is very subservient They speak to the senses and the senses make report to the minde So in this way every place will be the childes school for every where it will meet with its lesson and no lesson plainer and more legible to a childe then what he findes in the volume of the Creatures This is a truth not to be doubted of That parent teacheth best and soonest attaineth his end the promoting his childe who verseth the childe most in the open view of the creatures So he cannot alwayes do but this he must do alwayes as he intends his childes profit When he cannot carry his childe abroad to view the creatures he must what he can bring the creatures home to the childe so shall he make the book in the childes hand what ever it be more legible For this the parent shall finde that where he comes short in making representations to his childes eye there the childe will fall short in his apprehension Nothing comes into the understanding in a naturall way but through the doore of the senses If the eye hath not seen that
calling for my childe considering the ready bent of our natures how hardly we stand firme on firme ground What danger then of falling where by occasion of our callings we stand surrounded with snares and as it were on a precipice such a calling I would not make choice of Now touching the lawfulnesse of a Calling and how we may know it so to be it will be of use first to recall what was spoken before and thence then to consider what influence my calling hath into the good of the universe and how farre as a member I promote thereby the good and welfare of the body for this saying of the Philosopher in this case is of universall truth and use That which is not good for the Bee-hive or whole swarm cannot be good for the Bee o M. Aurel Aut. Medit. â— 6 sect 49. p 94. But this is too generall 2. We may give more then a conjecture what calling is lawfull what unlawfull by that which was anciently spoken by a man of a very base life and calling I am said he by profession such an one p Boni viri me pauperanâ— mali ditanâ— Plaut whom good men would crush quite starve and shrink up but wicked men put life in me they countenance and keep me in heart Hereby we may take a certain scale what callings will hold weight and what are to be disallowed and to be cast out as refuse 3. We may suspect that for no calling which cannot shew its descent or pedigree in a straight line from the first man downwards on whom was laid and so upon all our flesh This burden In the sweat of thy brows thou shalt eat thy bread That is in the travel and labour of thy body or minde And here the idle Gentle-man with his attendants are discarded as those who live in no calling he and his man are lesse serviceable to the place where they live then is old lumber in an house as was said q Book pag. 44. Greatnesse in place or estate gives no warrant for idlenesse though it doth give allowance for such an attendance or retinue as is sutable to both but yet so as every one must have his office and do his work belonging thereunto If it was the praise of the vertuous woman That she did not eat the bread of idlenesse r Prov. 31. 27. It must follow that it is a dishonour to the man so to do And if she must look to the wayes of her houshold then so must he also else he walks inordinately and without his rule Every one that is grown-up to fitting yeares he that is not his calling is to fit himself for his calling must work the thing which is good with his hands and with his minde else he is like a member in the body out of its place and doing no service thereunto but a disservice rather causing a disgrace like some exuberance in the body 4. Lastly we may suspect that calling that hath not its allowance and legitimation in Gods word Not that every lawfull calling is named there for we cannot quickly give a name to every lawfull calling But that it hath its deduction and originall grant from thence If then I finde no warrant there for the lawfulnesse of my calling I am sure to fall short of comfort in it I may encrease my meanes by it but certainly I shall not encrease my joy So much to instruct us touching the lawfulnesse of a calling and how to judge there of now a few words 1. touching our orderly walking 2. our abiding therein To the former I would give two rules in way of caution 1. That supposing our callings lawfull and us lawfully called thereunto then That we must give all diligence in discharge thereof I mention this because I observe the most men working hard and very diligent in their way but not from a true rise of duty They do it because otherwise they could not live if there were a means of livelihood if men or children could live without a calling we would care little for callings and take as little pains about them for we observe the calling is left so soon as we have gotten a support by it and can live without it which assureth us That the belly f Magister Artis ingeniâ—que largitorventer Persprol constrains men to work not conscience sense of hunger not sense of duty to live according to Gods ordinance Note we our Great-Grand-Father had means of livelihood enough and of lands good store yet had he his employment designed unto him there No man hath a license to idle away his time Slothfull and Gentile may stand together for a time but wicked and slothfull so we must reade it t Matth. 25. 36 for they are unseparable God hath joyned wickednesse and slothfulnesse and we may be sure they can never be parted A slothfull servant is a wicked servant though he may passe for a Master in the world But he may defend his sloth thus so I finde it in Chrysostome u In Ephes cap. 4. Hom. 16. Though I stand idle in the Market of the world and sleep in the harvest of the yeare yet I neither pick nor steal I neither curse nor strike my fellow servants and then I have done no hurt I am sure So the slothfull servant may say for himself he hath done no hurt Yes if thou doest no good thou doest hurt if thou art slothfull thou art wicked The husbandman hath done thee much hurt if he sate still in the Spring-time and slept in thy harvest though yet he was not drunk all that time nor did he strike nor abuse his fellow servants The mouth and the hand will do the body much hurt if they neglected those offices proper to those ends wherefore they are placed in the body though yet the one did not bite nor did the other smote or scratch the body In omitting our duty of doing good we commit much ill for Truth hath sealed hereunto That the slothfull servant is a wicked servant And so much to perswade to duty for conscience sake 2. That doing our duties to man we neglect not our duty to God That while we answer our relation we stand in as members of the body we forget not that strict bond and relation we stand unto our head This is a main point and I touch upon it here because many there are who serving their particular callings and doing their duties there think that this will hold them excused for their neglect in their generall calling as they are Christians I heare the same pleading which was of old why we cannot do this or that though of infinite concernement to our souls both yet we cannot because our callings will not admit so much vacancy or leisure what not to serve God! what leisure to serve our selves and the world and can finde none to serve Him who gave us being and a place with all conveniences in the world no
thou wilt be fitter to be subject to anothers and to rule others also Look up to God and look well to thy affections that they get not the upper hand for then they will keep reason under foot Look well to thy outward senses and make a covenant there beguile not thy self with such a mockery n 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. 〈◊〉 Pelus lib. 4. epist 24. See epâ—st 2. 3. 4. 12. ejusdem libri Quid hac voluntate mendacius Aug. de civiâ— 14. 4. as this To pray against temptations and then to run into them If thou loosest thy command over thy self thou loosest thy self for thou wilt be as a citie without a wall where those that are in may go out and the enemies without may come in at their pleasure So where there is not a government set up there sin breaks out and Satan breaks in without controule This is a sacred Truth not to be doubted of Beleeve me now in what follows I have known many but more there have been whom I have not known who neglecting this single charge and casting off the government of themselves have poysoned all their springs of comfort at the very head o 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Eâ—â—p Her Fâ—r p. 46. and blasted their hopes in the very blossome and blocked up their own way to the comfort they greedily catched at but in a very shadow Nay which is more I have known them who have kindled a fire in their youth that hath consumed them in their age and some remaining coales have singed the childe not then born Know it a truth not to be doubted and so plain that it needs not explication therefore what is possible keep thy heart as a chaste Virgin unto Christ even to thy marriage day and ever Thy posteritie and the blessing upon them depends upon it And so much touching this so necessary a charge this so prime a duty The looking well to our selves our single charge Which cannot be to purpose unlesse these single persons look up constantly to God who is the chiefest Overseer Parents and others are but deputies under Him who leades us on and holds us in every good way and hath said I will not leave thee nor forsake thee * 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Five negatives surely I will not verily verily I will nor Heb. 13. 5. And this so great a businesse they must commend unto Him for it is a chief point of their charge with the same earnestnesse as they desire to succeed and prosper in it Our Lord Christ spent that whole night in prayer before He chose His disciples Thereby teaching us weak and frail creatures who have no subsistance of or in our selves but all from and in God what we ought to do at all times but more especially then when matters of importance are in hand It is of great importance how and in what manner matters of importance are entred upon and begun where we may note that nothing shall prove a blessing to me which I have not commended to the Lord and gained it from Him by prayer so then the young persons must look up to that hand that disposeth all things and to that hand they must submit They must leave God to His own time they must not tie Him to theirs He is wise and wonderfull and accordingly doth He work for those whose hearts are stayed upon Him I have observed those who have waited Gods time which is ever best He doth all things well and in their season so preferred in their match at the last that it hath quite exceeded their own expectation and the expectation of their friends and this at such a time when they least expected and had the least hope I have certainly observed it so They that wait on the Lord shall once say they are remembred and in a fit season But they who like an unserviceable piece of Ordinance flie off before they are discharged they who will put out themselves before their time have broken themselves with haste and proved like proffered wares of the least esteem quite disregarded They must wait on God here in whose hand leadeth into every good way and gives a blessing in it And they must wait His time also which is a chief point of their duty 3. The younger folk must leave this weighty businesse in their hands who are deputed under God to take the cure over them and the care thereof And this if the single parties shall do they have then discharged their double duty before mentioned which consisted first in the well ordering themselves and so discharging their single cure And then in leaving the rest for the changing of their condition wholly in their hands whose charge it is and whose duty also it is faithfully to discharge the same and now followeth for it is necessary I should adde something thereof I mean touching the overseers duty They that are overseers of the childe Parents or deputed so to be must be earnest with the Lord at this point for it is a main duty house and riches are the inheritance of Fathers and a prudent wife is from the Lord p Prov. 19. 14. Parents may give a good portion but a good wife is Gods gift a great mercy and greatly to be desired This is their first duty The next is 2. They must choose the man we regard not sexes I say a man not a boy not a girle before the face can discern the sex parents must avoid the inconveniency of haste in so important a businesse which helps to fill the world with beggery and impotency q See Censure of Travell sect 7. And they must choose the man I say the man not his money It is well where both meet and then they may choose and wink but that is not very ordinary and therefore they must be the the more watchfull so where there is a flush of money an high-tide of prosperitie there is commonly a low ebbe of better matters which indeed denominates a man prosperitie is a great snare the greater when the young heire begins at the top first at the same peg or height where the Father ended and it is many times accompanied with some idlenesse of brain * Ad omne voâ—um fâ—â—ente â—ortuna 〈◊〉 ocium Quint. Dec. 3. p. 32. I need not feare this but yet I say in way of caution choose the man and then the money when I say a man I mean such an one who can finde meat in a wildernesse who carries his riches about him * Cic. Parad. Sen. ep 9. 2 Chron. 25. 9. when he is stript of his money who hath his chief comelinesse within and yet not uncomely without such a man they should choose If this man be wanting the childe shall not set her eyes upon him the parent must not If some money be wanting no great want it is easily supplied it is certain if other things answer some want that way I mean in money
be lost no nor the labour neither for if the wife cannot better her husband yet she will make her selfe the better as the old saying is i Mariti â—â—tâ—um aut tollendum aut fâ—renduâ— quae tollit maritum commodorem praestat quae seâ—t sâ—se meliovem facit Aul. Gell. lib. chap. 17. and it concernes the wife as well as the husband But how bad soever the husband be his badnesse shall not beare her out nor have her excused for the neglect of her proper duties and walking with God in his wayes nothing shall plead her excuse for any neglect therein We are apt to quarrell with our blessings much more with our crosses and with that calling that God hath set us in and allotted us unto But assuredly that excuse shall leave us speechlesse though we thinke every thing will be of weight sufficient to have us excused yet we shall find it but a meere conceit nothing is of weight sufficient to excuse from the doing of duty k First part p. 174. it shall not be an excuse for the man to say Lord I had done my duty as thou commandest but that Thou gavest me a scoffing Michal nor shall it serve the wife to say Lord I had done my part had I not been yoaked to a Nabal The man failing in his dutie shall not hold the wife excused for her failing in hers If the man leades ill the woman must not follow ill it was a good answer to an abusing and an over-bearing commander Doe you what you will I will doe what I ought l 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The headhath an head All things shall be done as you will have it but you must command as God will have it The wife looseth her fathers name and must forget her fathers house but she must not forget her Lords charge nor her vow in Baptisme nor the name was called upon her then Her head hath an Head and therefore she must say to her husband as Ignatius to the Priest All things shall be done as you will have it but then you must command as God will have it m Ignatius to a Priest Chrys Tom. 6. in vet â— Princip p. 10. Chariuâ— The husband must command in the Lord and so must be obeyed if otherwise yet he must not put out the eyes of his wife she hath a light to guide her besides her husbands false rule The husbands exorbitancy from his rule will be a crosse and no small one a block in the wives way and a very clog hindering that she cannot walke on with speed alacrity and comfort but is so farre from warranting the wives aberration from the way God commands to walke in that it the more binds and engageth her unto it her bond is rather the straighter as her praise will be the more And this we must still note Not to obey as we should is more dangerous to society then not to command as we should though they shall not be unpunished that are carelesse in either being both the fountaine of all humaine society If the wife must stand alone so farre from an helper that her husband is an hinderer then she stands single and charged but with her single duty I and my maidens saith a woman a Queene that had attendants answerable to her state yet she would seeke God in His owne way so should her maydens too n Esther 4. 16. indeed she lived apart and therefore might much better maintaine her authority It is not easie to maintaine it there either over maidens or children where the husband in presence will foolishly and unworthily contradict or slight the same But however the wife must doe her duty I and my children I and my maidens Ester is a cleare patterne who lived apart from her Lord. And if that comes not so home Aâ—igals carriage is exemplary who was very unequally yoaked But now for I cannot passe over this point lightly that the husband and the wife may draw even though the yoake seeme to be or indeed is uneven let them consider the husband first Let him remember that houre when the father gave his daughter to him for then the father gave his daughter out of his own hands from under the tender-eye of the mother so intrusting her unto his right-hand she leaves her deare parents and their house that sweet society and commuâ—ion there she forsakes all these so well relishing comforts which she found in her parents house nay she forsakes her selfe for she looseth her name that is the propriety in her selfe And what imports all this saith Chrysostome o Epist ad Cor. Hom. 26. â— but that the husband should now be to her instead of all those as a carefull father as a tender mother as her dearest brother as her sweetest sister as her only selfe that in him she may find her selfe againe In a word the father giving his daughter implies and expects thus much that his daughter shall now find all those comforts sum'd up in her husband in him the Abridgement and Epitome of all All this will be remembred if he remember that time when his wife was intrusted to his right hand And the wife must remember also that at that very time she engaged her word that she would reverence her husband as a father honour him as her Lord observe his eye as her mothers tender him as she can her dearest brother or sweetest sister that she will be unto him as an haven so the father speakes that when her husband comes home perhaps in some storme as few men there are that from within or from without find not winds enough to cause it yet then and at such a time he may find an haven at home all calme there If the wife remembers that time she must remember that to all this she stands bound by a most solemne promise And thus the husband and wife both may learne and looke to their proper duty That the husband love the wife the wife honour the husband O beware for this is a nice and tender point beware lest we blow that coale which will sparkle and quickly kindle a flame foresee and prevent all occasions which may make the least difference or smallest division betwixt the man and his wife for the breach will be quickly great like the Sea p Lam. 2. 23. who can heale it And then that which should have beene as an haven will be a Tempestuous Sea For when there is difference betwixt the man and the woman the house fares no better saith Chrysostome q In epist ad Cor. Hom. 19. â— then the Ship doth in a storme when the Master and the Pilot fall to pieces now if the agreement be not made quickly and the difference accorded the Ship will fall to pieces upon the Rocke And so much touching the joynt-duty of man and wise and that though the yoake seeme unequall yet they may draw even and that in case the one faile in
duty it is no excuse for the failing of both how both are instructed and from what time Other duties there are but they have beene already intimated in the first part What may more particularly concern thy self child whose instruction I specially intend now briefely followeth Every estate is subject to grievances more specially the married To speak briefly of them and as briefly to give some provision against them I rank them under two heads feare of evills future sense of evills present Touching both these the only troublers of our life and peace some few directions 1. There is but one thing which is evill indeed which truly and properly is the troubler of our peace and quiet But one thing And that is sin It hath so much malignitie in it that it can put a sting and set an edge upon crosses That it can make our good things evill to us can turn our blessings into curses can make our table our bed c. all snares to us It will leaven our rest and peace whereby others are edified walking in the feare of God and in the comforts of the holy Ghost r Act. 7. 31. This rest and peace a comprehension of all blessings through sinne will slay our soules and be our ruine which was as we heard the building up of others so malignant so destroying sinne is more malignant more destroying this sinne is this evill work then is the mouth of a Lion as the Apostle intimateth very usefully 2 Tim. 4. 17 18. Therefore more to be avoyded therefore we should more desire to be delivered from it then from that devourer For as there is but one thing properly evill so but one thing to be feared as evill Feare not wants nor disgrace by wants turn thy feare the right way feare sinne and avoid an evill work So Isid Pelus writeth to his friend Å¿ Lib. 3. ep 101. And it is but the conclusion or a case long since resolved by Chrysostome t 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Chrysost â—om 4. epist â—limp See Hom. 5. ad Pop. Ant. Sinne is the onely thing to be feared whereof he makes a full and cleare demonstration thus Suppose saith he they are those three great and sore evills famine sword and pestilence which threaten us he names them and many more why these are but temporary and but the Fruit and effects of sinne they continue but their time and shall have their end nay suppose they are those two great winding sheets v L. Ver. Essaies 58. 330. Lege Sen. naâ— quaest lib. 6. c. 1. of the world as one calleth them and as the floud of ungodlinesse doth threaten an inundation of water or an earthquake plagues threatned and inflicted to wash a way sinne and as a punishment thereof Then yet still sinne is to be feared not those It is foolish to feare the effect and to allow the cause Consider also so the Father reasons the case or to that purpose will x See Chrysâ—st de terrae motu Tom. 5. ser 6. Lege Sen. Ibid. it be terrible to see the earth totter like a drunken man and threatning confusion in an instant and men flying before it but they know not whither how dreadfull then will be the wrath of God which will be heavier then the heaviest mountain and shall be manifested from Heaven as the just portion of sinners sinking the soul under the same to all eter-Nitie how dreadfull will that be and sinne makes it so if it were not for sinne though the earth shake we could not be moved what ever evill come upon the face of it yet would it be good to us it could not hurt therefore fear not the earthquake that is most terrible and affrighting but feare sinne the cause that makes the earth to reel I adde and flie from it as Moses before the Serpent and as they fled before the earthquake y Zach. 14. 5. and flie to Him who is the propitiation for sinne if we so do as we must needs do if we apprehend sinne to be so evill for we will avoid poyson when we know it to be so This will take away the trouble and sting of feare and prevent the shaking fit thereof I have told thee a great lesson now and to make it yet plainer I will reade it over again Sinne onely is to be feared I mean that sinne I am not humbled for I have not repented of that onely is to be feared for it makes every thing fearfull Death they say is terrible of all things most terrible It is not so to him who hath repented of his sinne and is at peace with God he can die as willingly as we can fall asleep when we are weary The prison sword fire fearfull things all an earthquake very terrible not so to them who have made God their rock and refuge to whom they can continually resort feare nothing but sinne and the hiding of Gods loving countenance from thee for the lightsomenesse thereof is better then life Feare the least eclipse of His light and every thing that may cause it for it is more refreshing to the soul then the Sun beames to the earth Mark this still when sinne sheweth its full face we see but the half now and in a false glasse too and when God hideth His face there will be to say no more a fainting The servants of the Lord have been under heavy pressures yet then they fainted not they have been in prisons and there they fainted not thence they have been brought to the stake there they fainted not fire was put to and flaming about their eares and then they fainted not but when sinne shews it self and God hides Himself then the next news is ever The spirit faileth Zophars counsell is the close hereof If iniquitie c. Iob 11. Verse 14. 15. c. Now touching our present grievances incumbent and upon us These are either imaginary or reall and the imaginary as one saith are more then the reall we make some grievances to our selves and we feel them so because we fancy them so we call for them before they come because our imagination a wilde and ungovernd'd thing leades us and misleades he was led with a conceit and troubled with it who complained of a thornie way when it was not so but he had one in his foot The way to help this is to take a right scale of things and to weigh them by judgement which interposing thus resolveth and assureth 1. As thou shalt shorten thy desires thou shalt lengthen thy content the poorer thou art in the one the richer in the other 2. Bridle thy appetite not accounting superfluous things necessary 3. Feed thy body and clothe it z Cultus magna cura magna virtutis incuria ex Caâ—one Cal. Inst lib. 3. cap. 10. ser 4. but serve it not that must serve thee If thou shalt pamper or pride it the order will be inverted and all out of order that which