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cause_n place_n see_v time_n 2,364 5 3.2293 3 true
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B07802 A piece of the world, painted in proper colours. Presented to the illusterous [sic] Majesty of our most gracious Queene Mary. / By Francis Lenton gent. Her Majesties poet.. Lenton, Francis, fl. 1630-1640.; Raworth, John, d. 1645, printer. 1640 (1640) STC 15464.5; ESTC S126745 28,071 164

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Client rejoyceth as much in the very tone of his tongue as the substance of his talke being both coequall to his capacity His Clients are his Soule and when they faile he expires onely here 's the difference hee provides not for his soule but his soul for him He 'll speake more in a moment than do in a month and warrant your Cause according to his reading till your hearings prove his holy-dayes and your Trials his experience His ambition is to climbe to the seat of Justice but is loth to be blinde in the place lest he should not see those pictures his soule takes pleasure in but in the meane time hee is striving to be put in Commission where perhaps you may see him the next Quarter Sessions 4. A Commissary IS a man much given to libels or rather libels to him and which is much is priviledg'd to receive them and proves a gainer by the hand Hee trades much in Will and Inventory the Relicks of the dead which he files with much felicity and however the Executour speeds hee is still of the taking hand He lookes not so much to the performance of the Will as the payment of his Fees and Visits the wife of the next Vicarage He hath many foule cases laid open before him and he as soundly canvasses them by the which he acquires a faire purse and a foule Conscience Barsterdy and Bawdery are his chiefe rents and incontinency and whoredome his Farmers and which is strange he lives by that for which all men die Sinne. Hee hath many Visitations which he beares very patiently in regard of the sweet Cordials accrewing therby He is your hasty youths and and yonger Scollers Oracle who daily worship him for his speedy licence that they may both presently enter into their Pulpets and he into their purses He is one that shall excommunicate you ipso facto for five shillings and absolve you immediately ex officio for three shillings foure pence In briefe He is the Bishops mouth the Bawds eare the Sinners absolution the Whores purgatory the Dioces●n Mou●tebanke the Church wardens terror the Parsonages friend and the Parsons supervi●or with whose wife I now leave him till the next Visitation 5 A Parasite or Flatterer IS Solomons abject debar'd every wise mans Table not so much for his gluttony as his glozing He is ingendred by Pride hatcht up by arrogance and perpetually fostred by fools the Anvils on which hee still beates who by reason of their insensibility observes not his insinuation but are presently puft up with those Peacockestailes he stickes in their foreheads Greatnesse never goes without this applausive Puppet and goodnesse never can abide him there being a kinde of Antipathy between them His tongue is in the Eare of every affectator and then never further from his owne heart Folly and popularity are his prime objects and he is still present where they predominate He cannot be truely generous for he is a slave to other mens humours a thing contrary to a true birth or a true heart His greatest pride is that he onely thinkes other men beleeve him his greatest pleasure that he can laugh at them in 's sleeve and his greatest profit is picking of thankes hee hath more wit than wisedome and more garrulity than grace He is a great observer of mens fancy that he may fit his lyre to that tune All men in the end hate him and he goes out like a snuffe His Conscience accuses him that hee hath prais'd men more than God and consequen●ly got praise of neither which hath so dejected him that hee drops off like a greene apple in a great winde and by his bruse grows rotten at Core and so cozens the next Costardmonger 6. An unxorious man IS one who hath left all the world for a woman and all women for a thing called a wife with which idole he is so effeminately bewitcht that hee forgets his annuall worship at Jerusalem and is tied up with a golden Calfe at home This Dal lah is his Devotion this Ruler his religion this Eve the onely edge to his appetite and he will tast any fruit she tempts him to though sower graps This man is never his owne man but in thought for his actions intended are either diverted and writhed by her simple will or els wholly violated and broken by her supposed wisedome He can be no good common wealth man he is so confinde to her cannopy nor a good church man he is so tyde to her cannons nor a wise man to be vanquisht with her wilfullnes Hee thinks himselfe as safe in her favours as Adam in his first forme and hopes to merit Olympus by making a Goddesse of Diana the which hee is assured by his faith in her faire promises and his obedience to her sacred Oracles In fine hee is good for nothing but to multiply mankinde and consequently Sinne and which is fittest for him not when he purposeth but when shee pleaseth He cares for no body but her nor any body at all for him so that he may live quietly without company and dye in his owne folly without funerall 7. A countrey Widdow IS a broken ribbe of Adam turn'd loose into the world againe and is searching for a new Bone-setter and newly polishing her selfe for a second edition or more faire impression She hath la●ely beene somewhat mortified in memory of her deceased but hath suddenly gathered up her crummes and given her selfe out a brace of hundreds more than ere his estat was worth besides his debts and legacies wheras her validity proportionable can scarce absolve those She carrieth her selfe smooth demure and familiar yet at a certaine distance lest too much familiarity should breed contempt and then she may cough long enough for one to court her If she be young she is capable of copulation and the sooner caught in that conjunct●ve Ceremony if past the prime the more libidinous subtile and dangerous having a double wil the one from her deceased the other from her widdowhood by the last of which you may perhaps buy a pigge in a poke if shee be wealthy all your comfort is she is her owne woman and not subject to the avaricious counsell of peevish parents who care not though the girle cuckold him so the carle be scraping She is an object to many and it 's well if but one light on her She hath already tasted of Mandraks and likes the fruits so well that shee longs to graft more imps upon that stocke She is now trim'd up for the next faire where if you can bargaine for her you may ride her home with a twinde thred and then make the best of an ill bargaine 8. A Chamber-maid HAth her proper denomination from the Place where she is most conversant and couchant the Chamber and is the carefull polisher thereof the obsequious pinner of her Lady and the true lover of her Taylor ever since the curious cutting of her last Wastecoate who with his
Shee is very towardly and tractable the cause that her father so feares his horse-keeper lest hee should steale her and his horse together She is one whom no desert can gaine nor Gentry obtaine except he can first plough with that Heiffer and then hee may finde out the Riddle for she is falne in love with an Acrestaffe and longs to handle it Shee is her fathers hope and her mothers happinesse the Paragon of that Progeny though the coursest in that Countrey If they dare trust her she is sent to be sold at the next Market together with her Basket of Butter where at the Crosse her simpring will scarce give her leave to tell the price on 't And thus I leave her stil longing for something that her friends like not and in that only consists her wisedome that she will please her fancy sooner than her friends 13. A Lawyers Clarke IS a spruce youth somewhat above the degree of a Scrivener much conversant amongst sheets skins Subjects he works upon much and is a kind of Jugler who by slight of hand will suddenly make a cleanly conveyance of your estate that you shal not afterwards need to study how you may prodigally spend it and he will so contrive it by president that he will make you an example whilst you live He is one that will doe more with a gray Goose wing than ever Robin Hood could do and is very dangerous if once he puts his hand too 't Foure pence a sheet hath furnisht him with a new Suit and he somtimes executes the place of a Gentleman-usher upon his Mistris He is a man generally of no solidity except by his much costivenes with continuall sitting yet a man of great study insomuch it hath so stupified him that he lookes for his pen when it stickes in 's eare Littleton is too obscure for his capacity and not one amongst forty of them can reade Law French He is commonly a good fellow and loves to gaine no more than hee meanes to spend He hath a piece of Iudas his office the Carriage of the Bagge which were it full of Peeces as it is of Papers he might chance to shew his Master a tricke fort 't Hee aspiers sometimes to his Masters daughter but being stav'd off there hee choppes upon the Chamber-maid and there stickes fast he hath lookt for preferment till age hath dimm'd his eye-sight and is now endeavouring to goe Clarke of a Band in the next voluntary Voyage which if hee speed the Leagre so belouzeth him that hee returneth with much Humility and poorely prostrates himselfe for a halfe-penny a sheet He is a meere Clarke without any other quality and hath seldome any commendation but hee writes a faire hand 14. A Carle or Farmers Tenant IS a kinde of a Mole perpetually delving in the earth for his dinner and is of as great judgement as Aesops Cocke esteeming his corne more than precious stones He is a fellow of a very great stomacke which his Landlord can quaile sooner than his poore dinner pacifie And is somewhat of the natures of a Hogge looking still downeward whilst hee chawes and gathers the Acornes not knowing the Tree whence they fell and seldome looks up but for a shower He is the wretched Modell of our forefathers misery and that which was Adams curse is his calling Sorrow the sweat of his face and a barren field are his wrackt rents and revenewes and a griping Landlord his intollerable griefe Yet hee riseth early with the Larke and whistles as he thinkes to the tune she sing when his broken notes demonstrate nothing but Musicke for a horse and according to that whistle is his singing of Psalmes the cause of so much discord in the Countrey Quire When hee tils the earth he tallowes it with his own grease and endures it the better for the dunging of his ground His harvest is his greatest happines which is more welcome to him then the Sabbath and in reaping time hee wisheth none lest he should loose more in that one day than get in the other sixe for though he acknowledgeth godlinesse to be great gaine yet his greatest is his graine He is the soyle on which all Citizens and Idle folke feede the very drudge and doghorse of the world one that dares not eate the fruit of his labour lest his rent should fall short and he be turn'd forth of his toylesome Vineyard His hands are his lands his pleasures reall paines his Crops carking Cares his food the bread of sorrow his cloathes the skinnes of his outworne Cattell and taglocks of his travell his whole life a continuall toyle and his worke an endlesse warfare His greatest comfort is his lawfull Calling and his moyling in the earth a meanes of his mortification Every Clodde he turnes over is the embleme of his misery And his Colter and Share the emblemes of his grave the which hee is alwayes digging 15 A double benefic't Parson IS a Master of Arts or Crafts who by favour and coyne hath caught a degree a yeer too soon and now lies for all the livings he can lay hold of Hee hath already rung his Bells for two Parsonages and not sufficiently prefer'd by those is putting in for a Prebend or two to make himselfe more compleat in his Taffeta Tippet and more curious Cassacke Simony and he are Correlatives and that which hee obtaines by Simony he retains by Subtilty His Degrees give him a Doctor tho a very dunce and his device is now for the next Deanery to which Musicke money must be the master of the Organs if hee meanes to sing in that Quire Hee hath two Pulpits and one Sermon which he preacheth at both his Parishes at his primer induction and then a couple of silly Curates read out the rest of his Incumbrency for the twentieth part of his Parsonages He is one who hath the cure of others soules and yet by his account cares not for his owne and the more 's the pitty is clad with the fleece without feeding the flocke His Pulpets and he are so falne out that they hate one another and 't were no matter if he had falne out of them long ago His greatest study is how hee may wracke his Tythes to a higher Rate and then feed at ease like a Boar in a Frank. He 's very fearefull of another Parliament lest one of his Livings should fall short of his reckoning He hath fisht till hee hath fill'd his bagge then sits down to fill's belly and lends little or naught to the distressed Hee is one whom God hath falne out with for his two little teaching and his Neighbours for too much Tything He will sooner convert the Gleabe into a pasture than a soule to his Master and is of this opinion that if he hires one his duty is perform'd He is the cause of so many poore Schollers and his over-bidding the debarring of their gifts or forestaller of their Markets and yet he is so ill inclin'd that