no friend yet shortly we may have no enemy neither This was one support to the Christians under their persecutions that though their enemies like Saul did breath out nothing but threatnings and slaughters against them yet their breath was but in their nostrils and might soon evaporate and vanish away Julian called the Apostate had done more hurt to the Christians then the ten Persecutions if death had not suddenly wounded him with one of his arrows The Marian flames had devoured in all likelihood a great many moâ—e bodies if death had not shortnâ—d her reign and so extinguished the fires We have no reason then to look upon it as unkind which may do us so many courtesies nor to accuse that of cruelty to us which destroys the cruelty of others towards us XIII And now may you not well make one question more to your selves and say Contentment hath more to say for it self then grief hath Is there not more reason to be comforted then there is to be sad If there be as certainly there is what should hinder your comfort if you live by reason If you do not live by it then nothing that a man can say will comfort you Nothing will chear us unless we think of it and make it our own by meditation neither will any thing sadden us unless we think of it also Seeing then they are our own thoughts that make us either sad or merry and we have more comfortable thoughts then heavy we cannot but be of good chear if we will not be enemies to our selves All that we can say for our sadness is that we have lost a friend a very dear and perhaps only friend But you have heard that there are more in the world and that you have not lost this and that you have more comforts remaining then are taken away and that if you had none but God you had enough and if you will read again what hath been said twenty other reasons will offer themselves to chear for one that arises to make you sad If there was no reason at all to be sad then none need spend any time in giving of comfort But if they be very few in compare with others and we are made to follow the most and strongest reasons then he is not to be pittied who notwithstanding the small reason of his sorrow will not be of good comfort The greatest cause that I know of this sort of trouble is when many that we love die soon after one another So it hapned to that Prince which the L. L. 1. Essay cap. 2. Mountainge speaks of who received the news of his Elder Brothers death whom he highly esteemed with a great deal of constancy and shortly after the tidings of his younger Brothers decease in whom he placed much hope did not alter the smoothness of his countenance But when one of his servants dyed not long after that he suffered himself to be so far transsported that he quitted his former resolution and gave up himself to all grief and sorrow The reason of this was not from the love that he bare to this person more then the rest but as he well saith because being top full of sorrow before the next flood must needs break the banks or overflow all the bounds of patience And so Hier. Cardan tells us In Dialog cui tit Guilielmus that after he had patiently born many reproaches and the cruel infamous death of a son of great hopes and the dangerous sickness of another son and the death of his parents and wife with many other evils yea and after he wrote a book of Consolation against all these evils yet he was overcome with grief at the death of an English youth whom he brought from Dover with him as he passed from Scotland in the time of Edward the sixth And he gives the same reason for it that the other doth Fatigatum multis adversis oppressit me haec extrema infaelicitas being wearied before with many griefs this last unhappiness made me fall to the ground It was not its strength but his own fore-going weaknesse that made him fall It was not heavy but it came upon the back of many other loads and so oppressed him But something hath been said to this also For holy Job was in the same condition and far worse one messenger did tread upon the heels of another to bring him tidings of his misery and yet he was patient though he himself likewise was in his own body most sadly afflicted We have the same grounds of comfort that he had and abundance more then was known in those younger times And when one cause of trouble falls upon the neck of another we can add one reason likewise unto another and so be comforted For our troubles can never be so many as the causes of our consolation are Yea one single reason of those that I have propounded will answer all Do we not know very well that all friends are mortal Then it can be no new thing if we well consider it for two or three to die after we have lost one But the loss of one doth rather mind us of the mortality of all And doth not God govern the world in the death of the last as well as of the first then there is no less wisdom and goodness in it when many die then when one He that can solidly comfort himself in the death of one will not be immoderately troubled for the loss of more If we let our grief indeed work under-ground while nothing of it appears if our hearts be loaded with it though our eyes look not heavily before others then it is no wonder if it do at last break forth when the heart is over-charged and can find no other way to ease it self But if we take a course to comfort our hearts at the very first and make them truly contented or if we let not the grief settle it self but labour to dislodge it then we shall be the better disposed to bear such another cross with the like patience For then a new trouble doth not come upon the other but only follows after it It doth not adde to the former but only comes in its stead it doth not augment but only renew our grief XIV And now is it not time to conclude these questions and to say to your selves We should not be the more troubled because we understand our trouble Why should not reason do that which little or no reason can do The more we are men shall we be the less in peace and cry like children Nay children weep while they see their parents put into the grave and within a day or two they forget their sorrows why cannot we do so also Though they know not their loss yet they know not the reasons neither why they should not be discontented for their loss Though they have little understanding of their sufferings yet they have as little knowledge of our comforts
then him we lost So it is said 2 Sam. 12.24 David comforted Bathsheba his wife and how did he comfort her he went in unto her and lay with her and she bare a Jedidiah a man beloved of the Lord. If we count it such a strange thing to die then it should seem it is an ordinary thing to live and so why should we not expect the new life of another But if it be no strange thing to die then as I have said already we may well be comforted Or if we should have no more yet this may be some comfort that then we shall have no more to mourn thus sadly for Yea suppose thou art the last of thy family and name as was the great Scaliger and Lipsius also another excellent Scholar it is no great matter seeing the world is not to last long If thy name must have an end what needest thou to trouble thy self when it ends And if men can think it no harm to suffer their name to die of it self as Scaliger did who would not marry why shouldst thou be troubled if thine perish after thou hast done what thou couldst for to preserve it But then if thou hadst never so many children Or when it is uncertain whether they or none at all be better yet who knows how they may prove If they should be bad then thou thy self wilt say that it had been better they had never been They that thou mournest for because they are dead might have given thee greater cause of mourning if they had lived If the death of a child be sad his wickedness would have been far sadder for that is a worser death He that dies doth trouble his parents but ouce but he that is bad is a perpetual torment to them He that is dead cannot indeed help his parents but then he doth not hurt them as many a bad one doth For those that are dead we only grieve we do not fear but for those that are bad we fear perpetually and we grieve also yea all the sorrow we now conceive at their death will not equal perhaps the meer fear which we should have had from their infancy lest their life should be bad It is said in the life of John the patriarch of Alexandria that a Merchant came to him to pray for a son of his that was at Sea that he might be safe Within a moneth the child dyed and his ship likewise was cast away And when he was much troubled at this double loss he thought one night that he saw the Patriarch standing by his bed and saying to him Thou desiredst me to pray that thy son might be safe and behold now he is safe for he is dead If he had lived wickedly in his future course then he could not have been safe And besides their badness suppose our children should have dyed of some infamous and base death this would have troubled us more then death it self Yea some there have been that have sought their parents death and what a trouble would this have been Some have slain their fathers and others their mothers and who was there left to mourn then If you be affrighted at these strange supposals which yet sometimes have had a real truth yet consider once more that if they had not been bad yet who knows what miseries they might have endured worse then death Can you tell what misfortunes might have befaln them which might have made them wish they had dyed sooner They are now dead perhaps they have that which afterward they might have desired and not so easily have obtained Who is there that desires any one should live unless it be in hopes that he shall enjoy more good then evil But how few are there to whom this happens unless it be a fool who knows not what evil and misery means One of the Gymnosophists answered Alexander when he askt whether death or life was stronger Life sure for that bears the most evils And suppose he that is dead should not have been miserable yet now he is gone if he might rise again it is likely he would not lest he should know again the fear and the pains of dying But it is the Death of our parents perhaps that we thus bewail Comforts against the death of parents they that brought us into the world are themselves gone out of it And what wonder is there in this If they had not been to go out what need would there have been of bringing us in If they were designed to stay alwayes then there had been no room for us They might more easily remember their mortality then we for there is no act that puts us more in mind of death then that whereby we give another life But it is but one of them it is likely that we have lost we may then love the other the more Or if both yet we have least reason to complain about their death of all others for both Nature and they themselves and we also would have them die before us We complain that people die when they are young and will we complain too when they die of old age then it seems we will have none die and cannot be contented unless they live alwayes Would they have been willing to have been left childless without you if not then they have their choice to go first Or are you so well in love with death that it would have been more acceptable to you to have gone before or are you so much in love with them that on that account you had rather have dyed then they Then know that your death would as much more have troubled them then theirs doth you as the love of parents to their children transcends the love of all children unto them It is very well then as it is It is not handsome neither to complain when we are forty or fifty years of age that our parents are dead for they could live no longer or if they could it would have been but a kind of death If we will not cease to complain when we are of age neither shall we ever cease when we grow older For as Cardan tells us a poor woman once came to his door to beg an alms and though she were seventy years of age yet she used this argument in her complaints that she was a poor fatherless and motherless creature and had none to take any care of her We need the less of their care when we can take care of our selves But perhaps they die before we are of age and can take care of our selves Then we are least sensible of their loss or if we are so considerate as to know that we may consider also such things as these There is none fatherless that hath God for his Father and he that hath not would be little better for his earthly parents If they were good let us follow their example and remember their Counsel If they were bad they would not have been true parents
either doth he willingly grieve us or send such things upon us that should molest us but he loves to have all his children in peace And Thirdly Believe fully that he hath the greatest mind to give that which will remedy the greatest cause of troubles and that is his Divine Grace and Holy Spirit Sin is that which makes all our sores so angry The Spirit of the most High is that which will enable us to mortifie it and this Spirit we may have as readily from him as a peice of bread from the hands of our dearest parent Go on couragiously therefore and be confident seeing there is nothing that God is more desirous to bestow then that which will cure us of all our griefs Of these I shall say no more and of the rest nothing at all least I should weary my other Readers though not You who have given me abundant testimony that I can do nothing to displease you and thereby laid a perpetual engagement upon me to be The most affectionate of those that love and serve you Symon Patrick From your house at Batersea October 4. 1659. Reader It was intended that the summ of this Discourse should have been given at the head of every Chapter But that being by an oversight neglected it is here presented to thee AN Intrduction shewing that all mens desires are seeking for quiet In the Gospel only it is to be found Christ bequeathed it is a Legacy to his Disciples The design of this Treatise Cap. 1. Two Reasons against trouble drawn from Christs promises and Gods providence Cap. 2. Three other Reasons which shew that we may be good whatsoever comes and we may turn it into good and if we do not it will be a double evil Cap. 3. Some other reasons from the kindness that may be intended us in every thing from the nature of the world and the nature of vertue Cap. 4. Where we must lay our foundation of settlement and how it must be laid Cap. 5. Two rules directing unto peace by understanding and doing and distinguishing of our duty Cap 6. Two Rules more concerning the choise of means and carelesness about events Cap. 7. The knowledge of four selves together with consideration of the necessary consequents of every thing are two other remedies against trouble Cap. 8. It is of great import to consider well what we enjoy and we should cast that in the Ballance against our wants which is the substance of one rule more Cap 9. Two Considerations more one of the wants of others another of the uncertainty of our own enjoyments Cap. 10. Three Directions more shewing how we should shut the world out of our selves and avoid self-flattery and take heed of rash anger at our own selves Cap. 11. Humility and self-annihilation knowledge and judgement simplicity and purity constancy and fixedness in one thing are four excellent means to keep us from trouble Cap. 12. A Caution and the Conclusion shewing that these things suppose the practice of some more general rules and that we must not have these truths to get when we have need of them The Contents of the second Discourse Sect. 1. IT shows the need of a Consolatory Discourse against the loss of our friends Sect. 2. The purpose of it is to show that we may grant nature leave to ease it self by moderate tears and two Advices are given to keep us from making an ill use of this grant Sect. 3. It shows rather what might be said then what is said in this present Treatise for moderating our sorrows But yet those examples which we have from others may move us to follow their rules and so a brief touch is made upon them Sect. 4. It teaches to consider what death is First Common Secondly Necessary Thirdly Good And if we thought more of it we should not be unwilling to part neither doth the manner of parting make any considerable difference Sect. 5. It contains comforts against the loss of Children Parents Consorts Friends upon a due consideration what every one of them is Sect. 6. It directs how to quiet our selves by comparing our selves both with our selves and with others and there are five wayes of comparison insisted on Sect. 7. Several reasons are given against immoderate sorrow which are comprised in 14. Questions which we should make to our selves The reason and spirit of them you may see in the Margin at the beginning of every particular Sect. 8 Some other things are proposed for the perfect cure of the soul The first of which is deadness to the world and the casting out false opinions The second is the changing of our sorrow into another kind The third is the Life of our Lord Jesus Sect. 9. The Conclusion It contains an advice to those that are in love with sorrow And an advice for the reaping profit by this book And a brief recapitulation of the chief matters in it ERRATA PAge 1. l. 10. r. the mind p 4. l. 3. r. it brings p. 6. l. 18. r have admitted p. 25. l. 19. r. thou hast left p. 32. l. 13. r. his arms p. 51. l. 6. r. other mens trouble p 59. Marg. r. non optet p. 81. Marg. l. 3. r. 2 Cor. 4.17 18. p. 98. Marg. r. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 p. 119. l. 25. r. die then as p. 158. l. penult r. here are ten p. 175. l. 10. dele then p. 188. l. 17. r. well call THE HEARTS EASE OR A Remedy against TROUBLE JOHN 14.1 Let not your hearts be troubled IT is not either fineness of Wit or abundance of Wealth or any such like inward or outward ornament that makes the difference between men and renders the one better then the other but the firmness of good Principles the settledness of the spirit and the quiet of mind To the obtaining of which all the old Philosophers many hundreds of years before our Saviour did wisely summon all their forces all whose lessons when they are summed up amount only to this to teach a man how to be contented Socrates was upon this score accounted the best amongst them because though he understood but a little of the frame of nature yet he well understood himself and perceived that he was not the wisest man that could read rare things in the Stars and could follow the paths of the Sun and trace all the heavenly bodies in the course which they run but he that could tell how not to be troubled either for the want of that knowledge or for any other thing Christianity hath not a new design in hand but more rare and excellent instruments to effect the old What Heathens could speak of it enables us to do And still it is as true as ever it was That nothing betters a mans condition but that which rids him of all his griefs and eases him of his troubles So a great Divine among the Ancients observes Macarius Homil. 5 That Christians are not distinguished from others 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉
once said No man ever reproached me more then once for by patient bearing of them the first time I taught him to abstain the second CAP. III. BE not troubled at that which may be sent to breed the greatest Joy Not to speak of spiritual Joys which all troublesom things do breed in holy men by making them more holy according as the Apostle saith Heb. 12.11 many sad accidents in mens account have proved the greatest means of temporal advantage and ended in their outward prosperity You know how it fared with Joseph and that the chains of Iron upon his legs were the occasion of the chain of gold about his neck his Prison was the way to a Throne And as St. Jam. 5.11 James speaks you have heard of the patience of Job and have seen the end of the Lord that the Lord is very pittiful and of tender mercy And Church History tells us that Eudoxia the daughter of a Philosopher in Athens being cast out of her Fathers house by her unkind brethren and coming to Constantinople to beseech Theodosius jun. the Emperour that he would right a poor Orphan found such favour in his eyes that he made her his Queen and shee got a Palace who sought but for a House So true is that which the Heathen observed Wrong oft-times makes way for a better Fortune Majori saepè fortunae locum fecit injuria Sen. A Feaver Hippocrates observes puts an end to some diseases and delivers those from death who could no other way be cured In Aphoris and so Cardan tells us that an imprisonment which once befell him which he lookt upon as the greatest disgrace did him at length the greatest honour and so wiped off all reproaches from his Name L. de vita propria cap. 33. Vt nec suspitionis vestigium emicuerit that there was not the least footstep left of any suspition The same Author who had as many strange and unusual accidents in his life as ever any man I read or heard of tells us elsewhere this notable observation which he made Fatale mihi est omne bonum ex malo initium habere Card. de libris propriis It is fatal to me that all good which befals me begins in some evil Consider then that what happens to one yea to many may happen to thee Why shouldst thou be troubled till thou knowest whether thou hast reason to be troubled or no Wait stay a while thou canst but be troubled at the last and perhaps thou shalt have reason to rejoyce both for that evil and for that thou wast not troubled The conclusion of a matter is most to be regarded and we can know little in the beginning Moses his rod was a Serpent till he took it by the tail and then it became what it was before and if we would lay hold upon things only by their end we should find many things that seem terrible and noxious to be benign and salutiferous Finis rerum caput est as one wittily said Begin therefore at the end Judge nothing but hope well till thou seest the conclusion Why shouldst thou not entertain thy self with good hopes now as well as at another time Why wilt thou keep up and maintain the old piece of folly to hope for much when thou need hope for nothing and to hope for nothing when thou hast nothing to live upon but hopes I mean to be big with expectation in prosperity when thou hast enough in present possession and to be as full of despair in adversity when expectation is all thou hast lost It is our grand fault that we are affected presently according as every thing appears in the face and we stay not till it turn about and shew us the other side So the pleasures of sin deceive us which come on with a Beauteous countenance and smiling looks with a painted face and flattering words but go off again with blushing and shame with pain and sorrow and all the ugliness appears when they have but turned their backs upon us And so the cross accidents of the world do dismay us in such like manner which come upon us with a sad and cloudy look but have a bright side behind and if we would but be patient till the shower or storm be over we might behold the face of the Sun breaking forth upon us But you will say What if the black night do continue and events do not answer my expectation I answer You will be glad that you have not been troubled and have kept your selves in comfort by good hopes for so long a time wherein else you must have lived in trouble But then I say further that if hope of better things in this world can do so much to support a man so long the hopes of incomparably better things in heaven you may easily consider will make you never to be troubled to your lives end De vita prop. c. 52. Cardan tells us that he used to cure little griefs by play and sports and great ones by false hopes and excogitations if but imaginary and invented hopes were found by him to be of some efficacy we cannot reasonably doubt but those which are real and certain will be of far greater and far longer force Let us not therefore be troubled seeing there may be cause if we knew all to rejoyce To these reasons may be added many others which even Heathens have light upon As We should not be troubld at what is natural Now our body is a part of the world and it is natural to it to feel the mutations and changes that are in that thing of which it is a part and if one member suffer at least those which are next to it will suffer likewise and man hath no reason to repine that he fares as other pieces of this great body doth Antoninus calls him that takes in all part what here befals him An imposthume 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 l. 2. Sect. 16. and tumor as it were of the world one that hath made an abscession and departure from the whole like a bag of suppurated blood that feels nothing and hath no communion with the body Nor should we be troubled say they at what is profitable there is nothing happens but what conduces some way or other to the good of the world or is of advantage to some part of it though not to thee Many changes are necessary to the natural preservation of things thy friends must die else there would not be room for others that are coming into being and the world would be too little for its Inhabitants others to the preservation of Civil Government and others for the correction and amendment of mens manners And as in all changes of the seasons of the year we see thereby that fruits and the rest of things are the better provided for So they suppose that every other alteration that is in any part of nature 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 tends to
exemplified the same truth that he had taught For when by the Embassadors of Baeotia he askt the Oracle What was the very best thing that could befal men The answer was V. etiam Suidam in voc 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that Pindar knew well enough if he did not lie when he wrote the story of Agamedes but if he doubted he should shortly know what it was This he interpreted to signifie his death which within a few dayes after hapned But perhaps we are not of this mind and I need not go to an Oracle to know the reason which is plainly this We are acquainted with no other life but this If the world had not so much of our hearts we shoul not find any fault with the necessity of death because it would become desirable We should not then be so sorry for our friends departure as for our own stay We should be glad that neither they nor we were necessitated to dwell there alwayes where there are so many troubles that he is happiest who is soonest freed from them But there were many that thought not much of the goodness of death who yet were comforted with the bare thoughts of necessity How many Heathens might I tell you of who fled to this one truth for refuge and found protection under it against the assaults of sorrow Nothing is hapned to me but what hapneth to all The first minute that we began to live we began to dye This is not the first but the last moment of death It is now finished but it was born when we were born When one came and told Anaxagoras in the midst of a lecture that his child was dead Hold thy peace said he I knew that I begate a son that was mortal and so proceeded in his Discourse without any accents of grief or a mournful tone And so another said to his friend when he saw him weeping for his wife I thought you had known that you married a woman and not a Goddess Do but remember then what the thing is that thou lovest and thou must be willing either to leave or not to love it As they used to stand behind them that triumphed and to admonish them You are but mortal men so let us say to our selves when Love is in its greatest flames Arrian l. 3. cap. 24. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 I love a dying person What hurt is there while we embrace and kiss a child to say 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to morrow it may dye and so to discourse with our friends To think of their death doth not make our lives uncomfortable To morrow either you or I may go away and never thus embrace any more Doth it make it our love the less doth it make us avoid their presence No therefore we are so greedy of our friends society because we know not how long we may enjoy them It makes love more fervently desirous to have all of them now because it knows that it may have none of them ere it be long It teaches us to use their friendship to the best advantages we can because we are not like to have the use of it as long as we please The knowledge of our departure doth not part friends now but makes them cleave the closer until they depart Let us be willing they should die and that will not abate of our love for we cannot be willing until we have loved them as much as we can We shall be loth they should go without the best testimonies of our love and that will make us only improve our time to have the benefit of them and they of us Epist 63. Seneca tells in one of his Letters that he who gave a great deal of good counsel to others not to grieve was himself almost made an example of one overcome with grief But the truth of it is saith he there was no other cause of that mourning which I must now condemn but only this I did not use to think that my friend might die before me I only had in my mind that he was younger much younger then my self whereas I ought to have added What is this to the purpose Though he ought I imagine to die after me yet he may die before me Because I did not thus meditate I received a stroak when I was unarmed which went to my heart But now I think both that all things are mortal and that their is no certain order of mortality That which may be at all may be to day And if you think that your friend may die to day then why do you not begin to mourn since his death is so near unless you mean to take it patiently when it comes If you will lament the death of your friends so sadly why do you not prepare your lamentations seeing death may be so near If you think it is not so near then it is likely your sorrow will be violent when it comes because sudden If you think it is and yet do not mourn then why should you lament that so sadly at night which you did not weep for at all at noon Plutarch There were some creatures they say in Pontus whose life lasted but one day They were born in the morning and came to their full growth at noon and grew old in the evening and at night dyed If these animals had been masters of the reason that we have would they have lamented after our fashion would they have mourned for one that chanced to die at noon when as it could not live longer then night No that which is necessary it is no matter when it comes And because we are of a longer life our trouble at death is not to be the greater but the less For it is a greater wonder that we did not die many dayes agone then that we die to day But some will say The kind of death is not so considerable as death it self that it is not death it self but the kind of death that so troubles them They could have been contented if he had gone out of the world another way But I beseech you do you know what will please your selves Can you tell what sort of death it is that would content you are there any that do not blame their hard fortune and wail and mourn as if none were so miserable are not men equally troubled if one dye of a Feavour and another of a Consumption if their love be equal It is very plain that he that perswades himself to part with his friends will not grieve for the manner of the parting He that can overcome himself in the greater cause of grief will not suffer the less so easily to overcome him And therefore you see that men have alwayes something to find fault withall If a friend die in a far Countrey then they say Alas that we should not see him before he dyed how sad is it that we should not take our leave If he dye at home
troubled But secondly We may be worse compare thy present condition with what thou mayst be This is not the worst that may befall thee in such a world of miseries Suppose then that thou shouldst lose all thy children as Job did and then lose thy whole estate that the Sea should swallow one part and the fire burn another and theeves rob thee of a third and bad debtors quite undo thee Suppose after all this that a fire should begin to burn in thy own bones and that should break into boils and they should break into scabs and thou shouldst be poor even to a Proverb as that holy man was Must thou not be contented then But how is that possible seeing thou canst not be contented now If such a showr of tears fall from thine eyes for this little loss then sure thou wilt make a flood or a deluge But what wilt thou do at last after all thy lamentations wilt thou kill thy self Then it seems thou takest death to be the end of all troubles and I wonder thou shouldst be troubled at that which hath cased thy friend of all troubles Or what else wilt thou do comfort thy self Try how thou canst do that now for if thy stomack resuse cordials in this distemper never expect that it will digest them when thou wilt be far more sick and apt to vomit them up again If Job had cursed the day wherein he was born at the first breach that God made upon his estate what expressions of grief below a great sin had he left for himself when he sate upon the dunghil The good man took the first losses so patiently that all the rest which befell him could not move him to greater impatience Do thou remember him and say to thy soul Come be quiet this is not the worst that may betide us we have no such cause to cry as we may have Let us learn patience against a time when we may have more need of it And then if we should be brought to the very dust and fall as low as the dung of the earth yet there is another way of considering what may be besides this We may be better We may be as happy again as now we account our selves miserable Our sorrow may be turned into joy as our joy hath been turned into sorrow Weeping may endure for a night but joy may come in the morning according as I have said in the former discourse Job 42.12 And so it was with Job whom God blessed in his latter end more then in his beginning We have seen the end of the Lord saith the Apostle James that the Lord is very pitiful Jam. 5.11 and of tender mercy But then this pitty of his is to be obtained only by patience If we cannot be contented it is needful we may think that he should teach us it still by greater losses Thirdly We have more then we want Compare what thou hast lost with what thou hast not lost God leaves commonly more then he takes He takes away thy children perhaps but thou hast thy husband and he is better then ten sons Or if thou hast lost thy husband also yet thou hast thy self and why should a living man complain and thou hast God himself whom nothing can take away from thee Or if thou hast him not yet thou mayst have him and who knows but that therefore thou hast lost thy friends because thou hast not him God hath taken them away that thou maist seek after him Wouldst thou have been willing that all thou hast should have been lost rather then this one friend Shall God raise him from the dead and all the rest go into his tomb Wilt thou have all or else take comfort in none Then God may well take away all and let thee have something to cry for Yea who is there destitute of all friends and comforters Job himself was not so spoiled that they had robbed him of his friends Though they did add indeed to his grief yet it was their mistake and not their want of love And if we should have no better then we may give God thanks that he lets us see more then all our friends Yea it is a great mercy that God gives us time to cease our grief and trouble And perhaps we have riches and a pleasant dwelling delightful walks c. or if we have not and can bear that patiently Barthol cent 4. Hist An. cap. 16. then we may soon learn how to bear this Do the poor people of Norway weep when they eat because their bread is made of the barks of trees and sometimes of chaff not of corn as ours is If there were no trees nor chasse nor no such thing to fill their mouths they might well cry but as long as we have what is needful we should be content for nothing is so needful as that Let us not then weep because we have not so many friends as we had for we have more then we deserve Let us not mourn as though we were desolate when we want but one no more then we do complain of hunger when we have all variety of chear except one dish that we love most But Fourthly We have more then many others Let us compare our selves if you please with others In other cases this is a thing we love to do though there be so much danger in it that it may undo us If we be guilty of any fault then we comfort our selves in comparisons and think that we are not so bad as others Now that which we are apt to do when we do ill we ought to do when we think we suffer ill Is God more unkind to us then to any of our neighbours Do not we see that many of our neighbours children are dead as well as ours Many of them have lost four or five and we have lost but one Nay many of them never had any and yet they do not therefore mourn and besmear their faces with tears and break their hearts with sighs Our case is the very same now that we have none but only that it is a little better because we had once some And how thankful should we be that we had them so long if it be desirable to have them at all But then we may say further to our selves How many of them have lost their friends in the late wars How many hath the sword made Widdows and the blood of how many of their children hath it drunk Ours were taken away by the hand of God but theirs were taken away by the hands of men Our friends dyed in their beds and theirs dyed in the field Ours went and theirs were driven out of the world Come let us go comfort our neighbours that have lost more then we for they stand more in need of comfort If they stand in need of none then no more do we It was very handsomely discoursed by Socrates as Plutarch relates That if we could
all agree to put all the troubles and calamities of men into one heap on this De Consol ad Apollon condition that after every man had brought his and thrown them there then they should all come again and take every man an equal portion of them there would be a great many that now complain who would rather take up what they brought and go their ways contented with them And so Antimachus an Ancient Poet when his wife dyed whom he loved exceedingly he went and writ a Poem bearing her name wherein he reckoned up all the calamities that he could remember had befaln any in the world By this means he did deter himself from grief for how can one suffer the miseries which others endure if he cannot bear this light one of his own Fifthly It is better with us then with those of former times Let us compare our selves with the Ancient Christians Their children were snatcht out of their arms by the hands of tyrants They see their brains dasht out against the stones their friends were buried in fires or banished into strange places and they had no comforters left but God and themselves and their chiefest comfort was that they must shortly die the same death But notwithstanding all this and much more they did not take it heavily but 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as Photius speaks They bare it all thankefully Epist 234. and blessed God who could tell how to govern the world beyond all the thoughts of men Let not us who suffer but common things weep with an extraordinary sorrow when they who suffered most unnatural deaths did bear it with more then natural courage They might have been allowed to have wept blood rather then we to shed tears And yet they rejoyced as if their friends had been offered in Sacrifice to God and we weep as if they had been put to some shameful torments for their crimes Shall we mourn more for the death of a friend then they for a butchery What arguments had they to comfort them which we have not What Scripture had they before their eyes to stay their tears which we read not If either of us have more to comfort us then the other it is we for we have their most excellent example And when I think of the Mother of the seven Brethren mentioned in the Macabees Mac. 2.7 she calls my thoughts back a little further then the times of Christ Did she wring her hands when she saw the skin of her son stead off from his head Did she cast any tears into the fire wherein another of them was fryed No she speaks as chearfully as if they were not stripping them of their skins but cloathing them with a royal robe She looks upon them not as if they lay upon a pan of coals but in a bridal bed She exhorted them being filled with a couragious spirit saying V. 21 22. I cannot tell how you came into my womb for I neither gave you breath nor life neither was it I that formed the members of every one of you But doubtless the Creator of the world who formed the generation of man and found out the beginning of all things will also of his own mercy give you breath and life again as you now regard not your own selves for his sake This marvellous woman as she is called v. 20. knew very well that she did not give them life and therefore why should she take so heavily their death She considered they were none of hers and why should not the owner take them She knew that she did not lose them but only restore them That life sometimes is not worth the having That unless God will have us live no wise man would desire to live That none gives any thing unto God though it be his own but he gives them something better And therefore she said Die my sons for that 's the way to live What poorness of spirit then is it that we cannot see a soul put off her cloaths without so much ado That a Jewish woman could see seven souls torn out of their body with more courage then a Christian man can see one soul quietly to depart and leave its lodging I would wish every one to save his tears till some other time when he may have some greater occasion for them If he will weep let it be when he sees the bodies of his children or friends so mangled as theirs were But if he would not weep out his eyes then let him weep soberly and not as if he were drunk with sorrow now After we have taken this course with our selves §. 7. IV. We must think with what reason we weep we shall be the more prepared to hearken unto reason And let us proceed from making comparisons to ask our selves some Questions and stay till they give a good answer Let us know of our selves why we are so sad and heavy Let us speak to our souls and say Tell me what is the matter what is the cause of all this grief thou art a rational creature what reason hast thou for all this sorrow Thou art not to be pittyed meerly for thy tears if thou canst cry without any cause Hideous things appear sometimes before us to affright us but they are the Chimera's of a childish imagination and not things really existent Let us bid fancy then to stand aside a while and let reason speak what it is that so troubles us Children cry who cannot speak and we are not much troubled at it because they cry for they know not what Unless we therefore can tell why we weep no body will pitty us because it is not weeping that we are to mind but the cause of mens weeping Let me then propose these questions to be answered some of which will discover that there is no cause of lamentation when our friends die And if there be no cause that the fountain of tears should run that is cause enough to stop it up I. For whose sake dost thou weep For the sake of him that 's dead or for thy own No cause of mourning for their sakes who are dead Not for him that is dead sure for we suppose him to be happy Is it reasonable to say Ah me what shall I do I have lost a dear friend that shall eat and drink no more Alas he shall never hunger again never be sick again never be vexed and troubled and which is more he shall never die again Yet this is the frantick language of our tears if we weep for the sake of him that is gone Suppose thy friend should come to thee and shake thee by the hand and say My good friend why dost thou lament and afflict thy soul I am gone to the Paradise of God a sight most beautiful to be beheld and more rare to be enjoyed To that Paradise am I flown where there is nothing but joy and triumph nothing but friendship and endless love There am
and supports And as for brute creatures you see that they make a doleful noise for the loss of their young a very short while and then they remember it no more Some of the people of Cous if I forget not used at the age of seventy years either to kill their parents or pine them to death and to rejoyce much at it They thought that they had lived long enough and that it was both a misery to themselves and a great burden to their children to have them continue any longer The Caspians also and some of the people of old Spain had the like custom which we well can inhumane and barbarous But why cannot understanding teach us that which want of understanding taught them Why should Barbarism make them rejoyce at what they did themselves and Christianity make us sad at what is done by God and the order of things St. Hierome reports that in his time there was at Rome a man who had had twenty wives marryed to a woman who had had two and twenty husbands There was great expectations which of them should die first and when the man buryed her his neighbours crowned him with Lawrel and caused him to bear a bough of Palm in his hand in token of a victory at his wives funerals It seems that men can sport at death if they list and laugh at that which makes so many cry Why then cannot reason make us moderately sad to bear that which humor and fancy can make men not to lament at all Why cannot our Religion do more with us then the people or our friends who it is like can laugh us our of our sorrows If I have not said too much in this argument I have some confidence that I have not said too little And indeed I have said more then I first intended and so much that if any one have the patience to read it through me thinks the very length of the discourse should make them forget their sorrows and by thinking so long upon another thing they should not remember what they thought upon before One soul is scarce big enough to hold all these considerations and the thoughts of grief also Here are so many that they are able to thrust sorrow out of doors by their multitude if not by their strength and force And yet notwithstanding I must detain you a little longer before I give your thoughts leave to turn themselves to other things For I am of the mind that all these considerations will only asswage the grief and pricking of the wound but will not quite heal it and take away its putrefaction I shall therefore commend two or three things for the pressing out all the filthy matter for the closing of the sore and to make the soul perfectly whole and sound Be dead to all things and thou wilt not be offended that they die §. 8. I. It is not their death but the life of something else that troubles us Mortifie thy spirit to the world and all things that are in it and when thou hast left them it will be no wonder that they leave thee Think with thy self often that thy friends are dead that thou seest them carryed to the grave that thou beholdest worms crawling out of their eyes and mouth and try how thou art able to bear that thought Think that he or she that lies in thy bed by thy side is as cold as a stone think that thou embracest the carkass of thy dear friend and ask thy soul how it can brook it Think thus often and though thy soul may start at the first yet at last it will be patient That little sadness will banish and chase away all the greater that else would seize on thee hereafter There will be little to do when death comes if thou constantly dost this Thy soul will be so loose from them that thou wilt not give a shrike none will bear the strings crack when you are separated Death will not be a breaking of your society but a fair easie untying of it Nothing will happen to you but what you have looked for long before and you will be able to say This is not the first time that I have seen my dear friend dead Yea think with thy self that thou seest thy own body laid in the grave and that thou feelest thy self as cold as a clod of earth Think that thou art turned into rottenness and dirt and that thou art forgotten by thy neighbours If thy soul can endure these thoughts then why should it be troubled at the death of another This is a kind of death to be so separated from thy body in thy thoughts It is all one not to be in thy body and not to feel that thou art in it Raise thy mind then up toward heavenly things fix thy thoughts on God and the life to come think that thou seest thy self in heaven among the Saints of God and while thy soul is there it is not in thy body here below This kind of death differs from that which will be hereafter in this only that then thou wilt be more perfectly out of thy body But if there be no trouble in this separation which thou now makest even whilest thou art in it There will be far less trouble one would think quite to part with it and to get from it And the way to be dead to these earthly things We must not let false opinions live is to change our opinion of them and to see them to be what indeed they are empty and unsatisfying changeable and unconstant Of this I have spoken before in the former discourse but seeing it is a thing so great and fundamental to our contentment let me again present you with it We are the cause of our own grief by magnifying the things of the world to such a value that the loss of them shall be worth so many tears We think that they are happy who are rich and honourable though they be never so wicked and unskilful how to live 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 c. L. 1. cap. 19. We presently cry up a man for wise and what not who to use Arrianus his phrase is preferred by Caesar though it be but to be Groom of his close-stool And on the contrary we dispise vertue if it be in a thred-bare coat and count him a fool who is unfortunate No wonder then that we cry and whine like children when we lose any of these worldly things seeing we think our selves more happy then men in the enjoyment of them We think that we are undone when we part with that which we have such an high opinion of and there is no way to make us think that all is safe but by altering of that forlish opinion We expect what cannot be and will not be content with what may easily be We cannot make the things of this world to be still and quiet but may make our selves so and the way to that quietness
is well to consider their inconstancy and that our happiness is in something better It was a good rule which Pythagoras gave to all his Scholars and is the same that I would have you learn 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Do not walk in the high way i. e. Do not follow the common opinions be not led by vulgar and popular apprehensions Rectifie the ordinary conceits which you have carelesly entertained of things and judge of them as they are in themselves and not as they are reputed of If we would do thus then that which is the cause of our sorrow would be the cause of our tranquillity because nothing hath left us but that which we knew would not stay with us We mourn now because things are so inconstant but then we should not mourn because we knew them to be inconstant If we could make it good that any of these things are ours then I might avouch it that they would never have left us But if they were not ours why are we offended that God doth what he will with his own And besides shall we who are so inconstant oblige all things besides our selves to constancy shall we whose desires are so restless and uncertain expect that all things but only we should be stable and quiet No let us look into our selves and we shall find so much difficulty to settle them that we shall not wonder that other things are unsetled And again if things be so mutable why should we not think as I have already said that they will one day change to what we would have them But suppose they should what are we the better If our opinion be not turned too we shall be as much afraid to lose them again seeing they are so unconstant as now we are desirous to have them by the benefit of their inconstancy We must therefore alter our esteem of things now else we shall only change our trouble but not be rid of it when things are changed Adeo nihil est miserum nisi cum putes c. So certain it is that nothing is miserable but when we think it is so and that nothing will make us happy unless we think that we are happy And we had better think so now then stay to be taught this lesson by the dear experience of a great many troubles Let thine estate be never so prosperous yet if thine heart be unmortified thou wilt never be the nearer but rather the further off from settlement For they that have the greatest abundance are the soonest disturbed by every trifle because they are not used to have any thing go contrary to their humour But if thou wilt take any comfort from the unconstancy of things let it be this That if thou thinkest thy self therefore unfortunate because those things are gone that were joyful then thou mayst think thy self happy enough seeing the things that are unpleasant are going away also And think I beseech you once more and be of this opinion That there is nothing better in this world to thee then thy self As long therefore as thou hast thy self why shouldst thou be troubled especially if thou thy self thinkest never the worse of thy self because thou art poor and destitute of friends For these take away nothing of thy self nor can any thing in the world deprive thee of thy self And as Boethius well saith This is the condition of humane nature that it then only excels all things here when it knows it self But when it doth not it is below the very Beasts For it is natural for them to be ignorant but for a man it is the basest vice especially when he is ignorant of himself There was a Fable among the heathens which wise men understood to contain in it great Philosophy In the midst of this sad discourse it will please you perhaps if I relate it and it will please you a great deal more for to learn and live by it After Jupiter had made the world he thought that men would not be restrained from sin without rewards and punishments and so he made two great barrels the one full of good things the other full of bad to be sent down among men as there was occasion Pandora being very desirous to know what was in these barrels did one day broach them and all the good things flew out towards heaven and all the bad towards hell Hope only and Fear remained in the bottom of these Casks the former in that of Evil things and the latter in that of Good When this was done Jupiter threw down these empty Tubs to the earth and all mortals ran at the rareness of the sight to see what they could find in them Some looked into the one and some into the other and though both of them were empty yet they thought verily that the one was full of good and the other full of evil And ever since it came to pass that here below we have nothing but a fancy or conceit of Good mixed with fear and jealousie and a meer conceit of evil with some hope in the compound of it The Moral of it is this I hat the things of this world are but seeming Goods and seeming evils They are our own opinions that trouble us with the shadow of evil and that flatter us on the other side with a fair shew of Good All real Good is in heaven and all real misery is in hell If we go to heaven we are wâ—ll enough whatsoever we loose if we fall into sin and so into hell we cannot be well though we should enjoy all the world Let us turn our minds then toward these heavenly things which they did but dream of in the dark ages of the world Let us heartily believe the Gospel which hath brought to light eternal life And then we shall think our selves happy enough if we lose not those things and perhaps the death of our friends and such like crossâ—s befall us that we may not lose them When the dayes of mourning do come II. Our tears should be kept for that which is the cause of death and all our tears Turn thy sorrow for thy friend into sorrow for thy sins Remember that thy tears may be due to some other thing and the cure of that will cure all thy other griefs If thou art not a Christian then it is thy duty to mourn neither for one thing nor other but only to bewail thy self Let the dead bury their dead as our Saviour said do thou presently follow after thy Lord with tears Take no care of funerals think of no earthly thing but only how thou mayâ—st be a Christian And if thou art so thâ—n thou oughtest to rejoyce that thy sins are pardoned and that thou hast not the greatâ—st cause of griâ—f and this joy sure will swallow up all thy sorrows There is scarce any thing so considerable in our bodies that is seen as our tears for they are the most notable expressions of what is in
comfort our selves with hope we shall see our friends again that die in the Lord. That seeing we must die too and others must weep for us by our life we must leave them something to comfort them in hope that we are better then if we were with them We must often consider how much of our grief depends on meer fancy and not on things We were perhaps at a great distance from our friends while they lived and did but seldom see them The case is not much altered now that they are dead If we have sustained a loss we do but double it by losing our own quiet and comfort also And yet there is more cause of thankfulness then of repining both that we had them so long and also that God hath taken away only them Our grief at last must cease and that which will end it then may end it now Or if it must end it self by it its own weariness it is a shame that Religions reason cannot do more then meer length of time can doe It is but as we our selves would have it who would have been loth to have died first Or else it is as they would have it who would have been loth to have out-lived us and been so sad as we make it necessary for to be They are not quite gone away but only gone before And by sorrow we may tread too fast upon their heels Let us henceforth place our chiefest comfort in God for if one be taken away then so may another There will be every day new matter of trouble and unless we be better provided against it we shall be every day miserable This world is the place of sorrow and therefore seeing there are things enough to trouble us let it not be our work to create trouble to our selves Trouble is a thing that will come without our call but true joy will not spring up without our selves If any sorrow should oppress us it must be for our sins And when we mourn for them let us be sorrowful we were no more thankful for such enjoyments as we have now lost And lastly Let these tears teach us to take off our affections from worldly things all the pleasure of whose possession is scarce big enough to compensate the trouble of parting with them FINIS These several Books following are Printed and to be sold by Francis Tyton at the Three Daggers in Fleetstreet THis same Author has a Sermen preached at the Funeral of Mr. Jacomb And a Treatise on the Sacrament of Baptism and another on the Lords Supper Mr. Baxter's Saints Everlasting Rest quarto His Apologie containing Exceptions against Mr. Blake The Digression of Mr. Kendal Animadversions on a late dissertation of Ludiomous Colvinue alias Ludovinus Molineus An Admonition to Mr. Eyrs with Mr. Crandon's Anatomy quarto Confession of Faith quarto Christian Concord quarto Defence of the Worcester-shire Petition quarto Advice to the Parliament quarto Letter to Mr. Durry for Pacification quarto Concerning the Saints perseverance quarto The Quakers Catechism quarto Of Infant-Baptism against Mr. Tombs Thirty two Directions for getting and keeping Spiritual Peace octavo Against Popery Octavo Lawson's Examination of the Political Part of Hobbs his Leviathan Octavo The Libertine school'd Or A Vindication of the Magistrates Power in Matters of Religion quarto A Soveraign Antidote against those sinful Errours that are the Epidemical Disease of our Times quarto A pleasant Walk to Heaven on Ephes 4 1. quarto The Blessed Peace-maker Or A Christian Reconciler intended for the healing of our Divisions quarto Innocents no Saints Or A pair of Spectacles for a dark-sighted Quaker by E. Dâ—d quarto Man's Duty in magnifying Gods Work A Sermon preached before the Parliament on the occasion of the Victory obtained against the Spanish Fleet By John Row Preacher of the Word at the Abbey-Church Westminster quarto The Perusal of an old Statute of Death and Iudgement A Funeral Sermon by Mr. Bedford quarto Communion with God the Saints Priviledge and Duty twelves The Will of Man subjected to the Will of God octavo A Commemoration Sermon preached at Pauls on the 5th of Novemb. 1646. quarto A Voice out of the Temple Being also a Sermon on the 5th of Novemb. quarto An Assise Sermon Preached by Tho. Gilbert quarto Barton's Translation of the singing Psalms twelves Sydenham's for Infant-Baptism octavo Râ—nedeus Dispensatory in folio Spencer's Similies in folio Dr. Robinson's Endoxa in octavo Dr. Marrison's Spiritual Logick in octave The History of Dreams By Mr. Philip Goodwin Minister at Watford octavo The Three Theological Graces by Mr. Ward octavo Biddle dispossest in answer to his Challenge twelves Habbington's Edward the 4th in folio His Observations on History in octavo Allen's Henry the 7th octavo Buck on the Beatitudes in quarto Eurialus and Lucretia octavo English Law By Charles George-Cock folio Gospel-Ministery and Gospel-Light and Life By Dornford in octavo The Rise Fall and Ruine of Antichrist By Haughton octavo Orders of Chancery octavo The Bloody Inquisition of Spain twelves Hughs Abridgement of the Common Law large quarto His Abridgment of all the Acts and Ordinances quarto Several Works of Mr. Murcot Minister at Dublin in Ireland with his Life quarto A Catalogue of the Chancellours of England quarto A Scripture Chronology By Mr. Allin Minister in quarto A Catalogue of most Books vendible in England of Divinity History Law c. quarto Annotations upon Job Psalms Proverbs Ecclesiastes Song of Solomon By Arthur Jackson Preacher of God's Word at Faiths under Pauls quarto