she arose from sléepe what a great péece of worke he had done whilest that she tooke her noone nappe He made an open portsale of the thinges whiche were left of al the shewes vnto the people he himselfe asking the byers what they would giue and recked the price so high that many men being compelled to buy thinges at an immeasurable price thereby being quite vndone did let themselues bloud to death And among other there is a mery iest of one Aponius Saturninus whom the Emperour espying to sitte napping and nodding with his head cryed to the cryer not to forgette the gentleman whiche had borne the Office of Pretor who beckened vnto him with his heade neither made they an end of offer and proffer as though the sléeping gentleman had talked with thē before that thirtéene swoord players were solde vnto him he being altogether ignorant of it for nonagies sestertiū 70312. l. In Gallia also when he had sold at vnreasonable prices the ornamentes householde stuffe bondmen ye and frée men of his condemned sisters he being allured fleshed with the gaine fette from the citie all the olde houshold stuffe and furniture of the court and his owne palace taking vp ye cartes and wagons that traueled for hire yea the bakers iades and mill horses in so much that bread often lacked at Rome many men that had matters in lawe because they being absent could not appeare at their dayes were condemned For the selling away of the which stuffe he vsed all kinde of deceite and facing sometimes he would blame the buyers of couecousnesse that they were not ashamed to be richer then hée and other while he would make as thoughe he had béen sorie that he had let priuate men haue those things whiche had belonged vnto the princes He had learned that a riche man of the Prouince had giuen vnto them whiche did inuite the guestes that did sit with the Emperour two hundreth sestertia 1562. pound tenne shillinges that he might sit at the Emperours table neither was he offended the honour of his supper to be estéemed so muche worthe To him the next day setting at the sale sent Caligula one who should deliuer him I can not tell what trifling thing for the which he should pay 200. sestertia tell him that he should suppe with the Emperour by the Emperours owne bidding He exacted newe kindes of tributes and neuer heard of before at the first by the Publicans and Customers and afterward because the gaine grewe greate by the Centurions and Tribunes of the souldiers of the guarde There was no kinde of thing nor men omitted vppon whome he did not sette some tribute for the victualles whiche were solde in all the whole citie was there a certaine and stinted custome exacted for suites and matters of Lawe in what place so euer they were entered the fourth parte of the summe that they sued for neither without a penaltie if that any plaintife were conuinced either to haue agréed or released Of the daily earninges of the poore porters the eight parte and of common harlots takinges so muche as they gotte for one iourney This shamelesse toll or custome for baudes harlottes and abused striplings it may seeme was euer after reteined For I do reade in Lampridius that Alexander Seuerus did forbid that it should be brought into the sacred common treasure but assigned it vnto the reparations of the theatre tiltyard Amphitheatre and cōmon treasure house But to returne vnto Caligula his lawes it was also added at the head of the statute that they also should be bounde to paye toule that had exercised either harlottes or bawdes craft ye that married folkes also should be subiect and payable thereunto Suche tributes being commaunded and proclaimed but the lawe not set vppe according vnto the vse in a publique place of the Citie when that many offended because they were ignorant what they were commaunded at length after long earnest sute of the people of Rome he did in déed set vppe the lawe but written bothe with very small letters and also set vp in a very narowe place so that no man could take a copie of it And lest there should be any kinde of pray and spoyle that he should not trie he did set vppe in the Palace a stewes building a great number of selles in whom matrones and young women should stande to be prostituted He sent about vnto the courtes and the Guild and common haules and vnto all places of méetings and assemblinges of men nomenclatores who were men that knewe the names of many men and for that cause were reteined by Noble men to prompt vnto them their names when they sued for any dignitie for to inuite yong men and olde to lecherie they that came thither should haue money lent them vppon interest and some were appointed who should openly note their names as they whiche did helpe the Emperours reuenues Neither also contemning the gaine by playing at dice he gotte more by lying ye and by forswearing him selfe And on a time willing his next fellowe to play for him he went out into the court of the palace espying two riche Gentlemen of the order of the horsemen he commaunded them without any tariaunce immediatly to be apprehended and all their goodes seazed when he had done this he came in againe skipping and reioycing and saide that he neuer had a better hande at dyce in all his life But when his daughter was borne he complaining of pouertie and now not only of the charges of an Emperour but also of a Father receiued contributions for the findeing and marriage money of his daughter He also made proclamation that he would receiue newe yeares gyftes on newe yeares day vpon which day he stoode in the porche of his house for to receiue the almesses or gyftes whiche all sorts of people with full hands and bosomes threw downe before him Finally this vnthrift who knew no other vse of money then to dash it away riotously and thought it high treason in any man to be riche was inflamed with suche a lewde lust to touche money that very oftentimes hée would cause immeasurable heaps of monie to be strewed abroade in a large roome and he would walke vpon it with his bare féete and euer nowe then tumble vp and downe vpon them But when his kinde cosen Nero who vsed to call them stinking churles and misers that did spend according vnto their reuenues and praised them for good felowes Gentlmen like men and magnificent in déede that would abuse their goodes and spende it away they care not howe when I say he by kéeping no meane either in giuing or spending allowing Tirydates the King of Armenia during his abode at Rome sixe thousand poundes a day and giuing him at his departure away aboue millies sestertium 781250. pound by inriching rascal knaues with senatours wealth and burying them with kinglike funeralles by playing at dice 3000. pound a
the kinges sayes he séeking to féede his humour and to followe his affection caused Images to be made of yuorie golde and other pretious stuffe But Alexander him selfe gathered together a great number of Architects and the excellentest workmen to adorne his funeralles And first of all did he cast downe ten furlongs of the wals of Babylon all the bricks being gathered together caused he to be carried away the the ground might be leuel to build the roge or funerall fire vpon the which he erected foure square euery side being one furlong long the rest of the plot he diuided into 30. edifices the which were built with stories boorded with palme trée at the lowest part were set 240. béekes of quinqueremes or galleies with fiue ranckes of oares of golde and vpon euery one of them as it were vpon the stemme of a galley stoode two archers two cubites high resting on their knée in the middes stoode fiue statuies in armour of fiue cubites high and all the places betwéene them were couered with drawne courteins of purple On the second storie were fiftéene lampes whose féete were inclosed with crowns of gold In the top or highest story where the fire should be put and kindled were Eagles portraytured spreading abroade their winges and looking downe vpon the dragons that stoode beneath staring vppe vppon them The third storie was filled ful of a mightie number of wild beasts wrought for that purpose The fourth had the fight of the Centaures made in golde The fifth had Bulles and Lyons of golde first a Bull and then a Lyon and so stil in like order Aboue all this was the highest storie hanged round about with the weapons of the Macedons and also of all the Barbarians bothe to shewe the vallor of the Macedons and also to signifie what nations they had conquered Then vpon the toppe of al did there stand holow Myrmaides in whom were hidden certaine men that sang the funerall Nenia or song The height of the whole work was estéemed to be 130. cubites And when that the capteins the souldiers the embassadours and the inhabitants did to the vttermost of their power helpe to furnishe and adorne the pompe there was bestowed aboue 12000 talentes that is 572500. And after the rate and proportion of this magnificence were all other thinges celebrated in the funerals and buriall with surpassing brauery And last of al were men commanded to sacrifice vnto him as vnto a God president To furnish the funerals of so déere a beleued Alexander gaue commandement vnto all the cities néere to helpe and garnish the pompe by all meanes and with al things that they could possible He also gaue commandement to al the cities of Asia that they should put out the fire which was kept in the Temples and casted the holy fire the which thing was neuer vsed to be done among the Persians but at the death of their king In this place also although somewhat out of order will I set downe out of Thucidides the publike obsequies the which the Atheniens kept for their countrimen that were slain in the Pelopâ—a â—stan wars folowing the auncient manner of their countrie Thrée dayes before the buriall was there made a great tabernacle within the which were laide the bones of them that were dead that their parents fréends might lay vpon them what they thought good Afterward euery linage or tribe of the towne had a great cofer or cophin of cypresse into the which they did put the bones of al them of that tribe which were dead and carried it in a chariot to the vsuall place of buriall And after all the cofers was there carried in aâ— other chariot a great bedd ready made garnished without any body lying theron the which represented these deadmen whose bodies could not be found These chariots were conducted and accompanied by all sortes of people citizens or other those that would go vnto the sepulchre where the wiues parents of the diseased wept bitterly and made great lamentation Then did they lay all the cofers or cophins in a publike sepulchre or monument made for the purpose in the fairest suburbe of the citie the which sepulchre is called Ceramicon wherin they vsed to but iâ— al thâ—se that died in the warres except it were they that were slaine at the battel of Marâ—â—â—n In memorie of whose singular â—â—wesse they had willed a â—â—â—â—â—ar sepulchre to be 〈◊〉 â—s the selfe same pâ—â—e And after the bodies were buried the vsage was the some notable personage of the citie both for knowledge honour should make an Oration vnto the people in the praise of the persons departed the which being unded euery body departed home But for to make the oration at that time was the vallaint and â—â—quent Petâ—â—teâ— appointed And nowe to 〈◊〉 vnto the Rominâ—â— I do finde in Plinie 〈◊〉 was not vsed among them 〈…〉 for to burne the deaâ— bodies 〈◊〉 to 〈◊〉 them in the earth but afterward when that they vnderstood the those which were ouer whelmed by warres farre from home were oftentimes taken vp an ordinaunce was made that all should be burnt yet they kept the auncient rite diuersly for they do report that none of the house of the Cornelij were burnt before Sylla the Dictator who feared lest he himselfe should be taken vp and handled after his deathe as he in his life time had dealt with Marius his dead body Learned Volaterranus doth holde that after the time of the Antonines of whome Heliogabalus was the last they burnt no corses at Rome And before that time I read in Tacitus that when Nero had slaine in his madde moode his wife Poppea he burnt not her body but stuffing it ful of odours after the maner of forreigne kings buried it in the sepulchres of the Iulij but the solemne accustomed funerals were kept Furthermore laying of the dead bodie in the earth doth Cicero truely thinke to be the most ancient kinde of burial for the Patriarches were so buried wherunto Xenophon also séemeth to asseÌ„t making Cyrus to will his sonne to lay him neither in gold siluer nor in any thing else but only to restore him vnto the earth This also was common bothe vnto the Greekes and Romanes to burie the dead with great lameÌ„tations and teares without which saies Seruius they thought that they were not orderly duely buried wherof procéedes that complaint of Drances against Turnus the we an vnbewept multitude may be slaine in the fielde for the which cause they vsed to hire women to wéepe houle at burials whereof Chrysostome doth make mention in many places Horace also toucheth in his booke De Arte Poetica Chrysostome in his 69. sermon vnto the people of Antioche blameth in them the tearing of their haires the baring of their armes the dissipating of their eyes and the wearing of blacke apparell and vpon the first vnto the Philippians scratching of their faces he rebuketh their
enough to beare the name of one altogether wretched and oppressed with miseries if he be a man and wittily sayes Plautus in Bacchides that it is farre better to haue liued then to liue Howe solemne and vulgar an Epitheton vnto man is wretched in that flowing fountaine of all knowledge and eloquence Homer for nothing sayes he that liueth that draweth breath and créepeth along the laynes is so wretched as is man and féeles so often and grieuous paines And therfore is it truly sayde of Plinie that if we will iudge and decrée vprightly refusing all ambition of Fortune there is no man happie yea and fortune deales with that man very friendly and makes him a wanton which can not iustly be called vnhappie Our felicitie sayes Seneca is no sound thing and massie but only an ouercasting and that very thinne and which is lightly broken by so many violent chaunces as I haue already shewed and also by the shortnesse of mans life which life Homer calleth a shadowe Pyndarus the dreame of a shadow Sophocles a shadowe and blast Aechylus a shadowe of smoke Lucian and the common prouerb a bubble that ryseth on the water of whome some vanish awaye as soone as euer they rise some continue a little longer but all indure a very short time besides tenne thousand diseases which doe dayly and hourely yea to speake most truely continually bereaue men of life do fewer chances assault vs ruines poisons shipwracks warres earthquakes lightnings thunders falles and what not One is choaked with swallowing downe of the stone or graine in a grape as Anacreon the poet a litle haire in a messe of mylke strangled Fabius a Pretor of Rome Aeschylus the Poet had his crowne so crackt that he dyed thereof with a cockle let fall by an Eagle who did take his balde scalpe to be a rocke wherevpon she might breake her cockle to come by the fishe Q. Aemylius with dashing his foote against a stone and C. Aufidius against a threshold Iouinian the Emperour with the smoake of coles in his chamber or as other say with the smell of a chamber newly pargetted some with a clap on the chéeke giuen by a gyrle some auoyded their bowels out at the priuie as Arrius the archheretike and Anastasius the seconde Byshoppe of Rome Some are eaten with mice as Hatto Archbyshop of Mentz and Piast Prince of Poleland and some with toades as in Wales Seisillus Elkerher some kylled with lightning as Strabo Pompeyus father vnto great Pompey Carus and Anastasius emperors of Rome some are slaine in the middest of their pastimes in hunting as Aistulphe king of Lumbardie with a boare Basilius Emperour of Constantinople with a stagge Fulco king of Hierusalem by the foundering of his horse in pursuite of an hare William Rufus King of this lande with the glauncing of an arrowe Drusus the sonne of Claudius Caesar the Emperour playing with a peare which he woulde cast vp and catch in his mouth was choaked with it some dye in the middest of their venerie as Tytus Aetherius an horsman of Rome and Cornelius Gallus who had béene Pretour of the citie and two horsmen sayes Plinie in our dayes in one varlet and Cornelius Tacitus noteth a woman and Campofulgoso Giachetto Gereua a worshipfull man of Saluzzo with his minion And as though that sorrowes and griefes did not sufficiently annoy mankinde we reade of many that soudenly died for extreme ioy as Diagoras and two women in Aulus Gellius Chilo the philosopher and Sophocles the famous poet Dionysius the tyrant in Plinie and Inuentius Talua a Consul in Valerius who also writeth that Philemon the poet was choaked with laughing at his owne iest Howe innumerable are they whome dayly experience and histories doe teache vs to haue dyed soudenly of no euident cause and without all foreféeling of paines some at feastes and pastimes and some in their beds of whome Plinie reckoneth many examples Therefore séeing that suche is the infirmitie of man at his byrthe and many yeares after so many sicknesses and diseases so many molestations and vexations do continually chaunce vnto him all his life long that also is so short and vncertaine is there any man indued with common sense that will holde that any man can be happie in this worlde and life The twentie Chapter That not great riches and Empires doe make a man happie the which Socrates proued by an excellēt similitude whervnto is annexed a golden sentence of Agesilaus ANd nowe then after that I haue declared that man can not in this life be happie I will descend vnto my second proposition that no man hath continued many yeares in so great felicitie that he neuer felte during that time any cause to complaine of Fortune with protestation first made that these great Empires conquestes and riches are not in any wise to be accounted things which do make a man happie no more then a scabberd of golde set with precious stones doth make a good sworde a riche gowne a persite bodie a golden collar a swift dogge because they be things without them and no part of their substance A very liuely induction whereof makes Socrates with whiche kinde of Argument did he singularly delight The magnificent Nicias of Athens had a very goodly horse whiche when he was ridden through the streates did turne the eyes of all the people to beholde him and with great acclamations to crie out yonder goes the noblest horse of the worlde When I sawe sayes Socrates this horse so generally with one consent praised of the whole citie I stept vnto his kéeper demaunded of him what masse of money this so singular a horse and so highly commended had why syr quod the horse kéeper what money should a horse haue he hath not one farthing why then says Socrates if that an horse may be an excellent horse and perfect in all pointes whiche belong vnto an horse haue neither money no nor goodes nor an horse were neuer the better horse if he had great riches what then shold let but that a man may be a good and happie man without all goods or what shal he be the perfecter more blessed if he haue innumerable store of these fruites or rather follies of fortune Wherfore that saying of Agesilaus king of Lacedemonia is worthie to be written in letters of golde or rather in déed in all mennes hartes which he vsed vnto one that called according vnto the manner of the worlde then the king of Persia the great king how sayes Agesilaus is he greater then I am vnlest he be more iust and more temperate iustly measuring the felicitie and greatnesse of man by the goodes of the minde and not of fickle fortune But now after this protestation made I say and wil proue that neither these men whiche were or would be called by the name of Gods nor no man surnamed the great or any of them which haue
way speaketh Horace in his Epistles In triumphes braue to countrimen To shewe the captiue foes Doth touche the stately throne of Ioue And vppe to heauen it goes And Lactantius citeth Ennius making Scipio Africanus thus to speake If any man by sheading bloud May clime the loftie Skies Onely to me the greatest gate of Heauen then open lyes This wasting and burning of other mens lands and goods razing of townes destroying of Cities killing of infinite number of innocent men women and childrē bringing into bondage vniustly many free people did they cal vertue which hethen abuse of the world remaineth yet vnto this day among the Italians with many other such irreligious reliques calling Iohn Galeazo the court of vertue because he wrongfully like a strong théef robbed and spoiled by force all the Princes aboute him of their Dominions and possessions Among the Pagans he that had killed one man was adiudged a contaminate a wicked person neither did they thinke it lawfull to let him come into the earthly house of their Goddes but he that had slaine infinite thousandes of men had ouerflowen the fieldes with bloude had dyed the riuers was admitted not onely into the temples but also receiued into heauen Murthering of one climed the gallowes of infinite thousandes heauen No otherwise then the pyrate answered Alexander the great when he reuiled him as a most wicked knaue that liued by the spoyle of other men that bycause he roued but with one only pinasse he was called a pyrate but Alexander for that his mightie fléetes filled all the seas robbing wasting pillaging and burning al countries was named a king as though singularitie in wickednesse were singular vertue and deserued singular honours But although it was common among the Gentiles to deifie mē after they were dead yet godly honours to be ordeined vnto any whyle they liued happened but vnto fewe The first sayes Plutarche among the Gréekes was Lysander to whome after he had taken Athens the Gréeks decréed many vnwonted honours and some of them altars to be erected in his name and poemes or sacred hymnes to be soung in his honour The Athenians did set a fine of tenne talentes on Demades his heade bycause he thought that Alexander was a god and did put to death Euagoras for that he adored Alexander when he was sent ambassadour vnto him from the citie Yet these seuere men afterwarde receiued Demetrius Poliorcetes when he came to Athens not only with fine persumes garlands and effusions of wine the quires and Ithyphalli whiche were men disguised like drunken mē with garlands on their heads gloues made of floures or rather of diuers colours like floures cloakes halfe white and a Tarentine robe downe to the shope which sacred persons onely attended on the highest gods went out to méete him with sacred singing dauncing But the multitude daunced soung that only this the true God is present but the other gods do sléepe or wander abroad frō home or else certes be not at al but this is the sonne of Neptune and Venus excelling all in beautie for his facilitie commō to al men This God is here as it is méete for a God surpassing beautiful both laughing also graue bicause al his friends enuiron him in the midst of whom who are as it were starres he is séene like vnto the sun All haile thou son of Venus most mightie Neptune for the rest of the Gods either they haue no eares or they be not at all in very déede or at the least wise they adhibite not their mindes to our matters Therfore thou most merciful milde we doe pray thée that thou wilt vouchsafe to giue vs peace for thou art the Lord with a great deale more such stuffe which song if that they had soung vnto his father Antigonus he would haue answered thē as he did the parasite poet Hermodotus that called him in his pratling poeme the sonne of the sunne my man that vseth to emptie my close stoole thinkes not thus of me Which sage saying of Antigonus putteth me in remembrance the Platina writeth in the life of Iohn the eight of that name that the byshops of Rome do vse at their installing to sit vpon a iakes stoole to put them in mind that although they are aduaunced to the highest seate of earthly glory as they them selues thinke yet for al that that they are mortal men stil subiect to the necessities of mans nature as wel as other poore knaues A sutable song vnto this of the Athenians howled out the ambassadours of the citizens of Palermo vnto Martin the fourth byshop of Rome who had accursed thē for sleying of al the frenchmē womē children which were in the Island of Sicyl all Sicilyan womē which were knowne to be with child by any frenchmā Vpon an Easter day at the first peale to Euensong they lying prostrate at the byshops féete cryed out with lamentable voyce O lambe of God that takest awaye the sinnes of the worlde haue mercie vpon vs and againe O lambe of God that takest away the sinnes of the world haue mercy vpon vs and the third time O lambe of God that takest away the sinnes of the world giue vnto vs peace vngodly violētly pulling off the royall spoyles from our Sauiour Christe casting them on Martine for whom they were as fit as Hercules start-vps according to the olde prouerbe are for a childe or his rough Lions case and club were for the nyce Ladie Iole But to returne vnto the Athenians Plutarche in the life of Demetrius writeth that they decréed that Demetrius and his father Antigonus shoulde be called the Goddes sauiours and that there shoulde be ordeined a priest vnto the Goddes sauiours that they should be interwouen in the sacred people with Iupiter Pallas that the legates whiche should goe at any time vnto them shoulde be accepted for sacred Yea there lacked not some that wold haue had a shield consecrated vnto him at Delphos of whome they should publikely receiue oracle and answere in all doubtfull matters as good and as true as any that was there But the Athenians not being content with this shamelesse flattering of the king they decréed the sacrifices of Venus vnto his two concubines Leona and Lamia and vnto his flatterers and parasites Burichus Adimanthus and Exythemides were altars and statuies erected and poemes which should be soung in their honour in so muche that Demetrius him selfe being astonied at their seruile flatterie affirmed that in his time there was not one Athenian of stoute heart nor rype iudgement The like impudencie vsed they many yeares after vnto Antonius the triumpher and among many extraordinarie honours they espoused vnto him their chiefe Goddesse and patrone of their citie Pallas whiche marriage he sayde he did very well like off and withal his hart accept and they should giue with her vnto him quadragies sestertiū 10000.
set forth in their proper apparell and habite and after them all his noble actes conquestes and victories The hearse being set downe at the Rostra Drusus his adopted sonne read an Oration in writing but at Rostra Iulia by the decrée of the senate Tyberius had an eloquent spéeche vnto the people in his praise whiche beeing ended they that brought the hearse thither did take it vppe and bare it out at the triumphal gate There attended on the corse the Senate the horsemen with their wiues the Pretorian souldiers of the guard and almoste all men that were then at Rome After that his body was laid vpon the roge or pyle of wood which should burne it first of al the priests went rounde about it after them the horsemen then the legionarie and also the other souldiours and lastly they which had had any charge of custodie throwing vpon him all the rewardes that euer they had receiued of him for their noble actes in the warres After this the Centurions or petie capteines taking firebrandes did set on fire the roge which being absumed an Eagle was let to go who flying out of the roge did as they woulde say carie Augustus soule into heauen When all these thinges were done the rest departed but his wife Liuia with the chiefest of the horsemen tarying in that place fiue dayes gathered together his bones and laide them in a tumbe The men did not mourne for him many dayes but the women by decrée an whole yeare as they had done before time for Brutus Publicola and other Moreouer at Rome the wiues vsed to mourne for their husbandes tenne moneths in white within the whiche time if that they maried Numa made a lawe that they shoulde offer vppe a cowe with calfe but afterwarde it was enacted that they should be reputed infamous But nowe leauing the Romanes I do finde that the Iewes vsed to annoynt their dead all ouer with precious ointments and then wrapping them in a shéete full of swéete odours lay them in a sepulchre or graue as wée reade that Ioseph of Arimathea buried our Sauiours bodie embaulming it with a mixture of Aloe and myrrha of an hundreth weight Iosephus in his first booke of the warres of the Iewes telleth this of the burying of Herodes All the hearses were garnished and set with golde and precious stones but the bedde it selfe was spotted with purple the bodie also was couered with purple But a Diademe was sette on his head but ouer it a crowne of golde and a scepter at his right hand and aboute the bed attended his children with his kinsfolkes Moreouer the guarde and the bande of the Tetrarchie the Germanes and the Galatae went all before in battell araye and furniture But the rest of the souldiours did decently folowe armed the capteines and chiefe of their orders But fiue hundreth bondemen and libertes carried odors The bodie was with this pompe carried two hundreth furlonges to Herodian where it was buried Hee was mourned for seuen dayes for the vsage of the countrie would allowe no longer whiche is agréeable vnto that saying of the Sonne of Syrach the mourning for a dead man is seuen dayes Yet I reade no certaine time appointed by the lawe and also I finde that the Israelites mourned for Moses thirtie dayes for Aaron other 30. But why we doe not reade that Iosue was mourned for as wel as Moses and Aaron Ierome in his consolation vnto Paula for the death of Blesilla affirmes the cause to be for that Aaron and Moses presignified the time before the comming of Christ but Iosue figured Christ and the time after In the which Epistle also he doth report that the Iewes in his time did vse at the death of their fréendes to go barefooted and tumbled in Ashes to lye on hayre clothe and least that any thing should want vnto superstition by a lewde rite of the Pharisées the first meate the they did eate was lentilles Furthermore these rites I note out of the sacred Scriptures to be vsed by the Iewes in their solemn mournings to rent their clothes to go barefooted ye sometimes all their bodie half bare to lye prostrate on the ground and vpon haire clothe to shaue their heads and beardes and cast dust and ashes on their heades to sit in ashes to couer their face with a whoode to apparel them selues in haire cloth ye to cut the brawnes of their fleshe whiche thing although I finde forbidden in Leuit. 19. yet this to be commonly vsed among the Iewes may we probably gathere by the sixtéenth of Ieremie and Ierome vppon that place doth affirme that diuerse Iewes still vsed it in his time I finde also that they vsed to go a gossiping as we do nowe terme it vnto them that mourned carrying with them breade and wine and making them good cheare This also is worthie to be remembred that the Nazarenes might not be present at the funerals no not of their parentes brothers nor sisters the high Priest only of his parentes children brothers sisters so she were a virgin but at no buriall else no not of the Prince and yet was it not lawfull for him to passe by a dead bodie and leaue it vnburied for the lawe commaunded the Iewes to burie their enimies And thus muche of the Iewish funerals But this was common vnto all ciuil nations to erect vpō the graue namely of noblemen Princes a tumbe but they began to be so sumptuous at Athens that the citie was forced to make a lawe that no man shoulde builde other tumbe then suche an one as tenne workemen could make in three dayes vpon the whiche neither might there be any Image of Mercurie which they called Hermes Also Demetrius Phalereus prohibited by statute any piller to be set vp vppon any graue aboue thrée cubites high or any table but pillers were not set vpon the graues of none but very noble and famous men whereby was signified that they did excéede other men which nowe adayes sayes Plinie is done by Arches a new inuention It was not lawful at Lacedemonia to ingraue any mās or womans name on a tumbe but only of them whiche had valiauntly dyed in the warres Plutarche in the liues of the tenne Rhetoricians writeth that there was ingrauen in Isocrates his sepulchre a Ramme of thirtie cubites wherein was a Syren of seuen cubites for a mysticall signification and also neare vnto it a table which had the Poetes and his scholmaisters among whome was also Gorgias beholding an Astronomicall sphere and Isocrates standing by him Augustus in his life time built for him selfe in Mars his field a tumbe of wonderfull workmanshippe with twelue doores in memorie of the twelue Sages and an obelisce wherein was ingrauen the interpretation of the nature of things out of the philosophie of the Aegyptians Vnto the which obelisce August added an other maruellous good vse that was to finde out by it the
do contemne their deadly daunger and seeme to haue an insensibilitie of their sinnes and perill finally are ashamed of nothing so muche as to shewe ye any light signe of sorrowe for their horrible déepe sinke of sinne yet can not these lustie bloudes escape the inwarde percinge pricke of a guiltie conscience which tormenteth them a thousande folde more terriblye then if it were the deadly stinge of a viper and worketh them more woe and vnrest then doth the madde flie the coursed cattell in the rageing dogge dayes These iolly gentlemen tremble â— shake at euerie flash of lighteninge and be halfe deade at a clappe of thunder as though they came not of anie naturall cause but were sente downe from heauen by angred God purposely to reuenge their outrages Not in the day time not in the night will their vexed mindes graunte vnto their bodies anie reste WheÌ„ they go vnto their meales no one morsell of meate will go downe their throates fearing as men that had their iawes dried vp with a longe wastinge sicknesse yea they cast vp their drinke like vnto younge children makinge a sowre face at sweete Hippocras as though it were sharpe vineagre so vnsauourie doth remorse of their sinnes make al things vnto them But when the time of the night doth adhorte them to goe vnto their restlesse bedde they dare not lye alone for feare that a thousande diuelles woulde carrie them away bodie and soule vnto hell Nowe after they be tyred with tossinge and turning if they chaunce to happen on a slumber for sounde sleape will not the tormenting torche that burneth without intermission in their troubled brestes in anie case graunt them with what dreadfull dreames méete they howe starte they howe hydeously crie they out If theÌ„ religioÌ„ ingendereth suche griefes what tormentes may we think superstitioÌ„ bringeth for I can not tel how saith Seneca vaine thinges do trouble and vexe vs farre more theÌ„ true for the true haue their certeine measure and quantitie but whatsoeuer commeth of an incertâ—ntie is deliuered and giuen ouer vnto the coniecture and licence of a fearefull minde and what that will make of them may the straunge imaginations of the melancholyke manifestly declare some steadfastly beleauinge that they haue eaten venimous serpentes soÌ„e that they haue lost their heads soÌ„e that they haue drouÌ„ke poysoÌ„ soÌ„e that they beare vp al the whole world faynte faile vnder so heauie a burden other that they sée Atlas whoÌ„e the Poetes fayne to staye vp heauen with his shoulders to shrinke and giue ouer and presently readie to lett fall the weightie engine of the heauens on their heades some that they be earthen vessells and merueilously feare breaking other crie out if they do but see one come into the chamber for feare he will treade on his nose some that they haue deadly botches where as in verie déede there are no such thinges with 1000 such like vaine feares al of whome it were as madd a parte for me to rehearse as it was is for theÌ„ to imagine The eighteenth Chapter The hoofullnesse of Lewes the eleuenth Charles the seuenth French kings of Dionysius Commodus and Aristippus for the prolonging of their liues ANd no lesse madnesse considering the manifolde miseries the often calamities the greate mischiefes and annoyances whiche happen vnto man in his life is mans immesurable desiring of liuing which Plinie assigneth for a proper incoÌ„moditie of mankinde Lewes the French kinge the eleuenth of that name when he had liued thrée score yeares perceiuinge that he was fallen into a sicknesse which was likely to shorten his time and also being feared with the sixtieth yeare of his age because that none of the Capetts had passed that bound which yet could not coÌ„tent him what wayes wrought he to prolong his lothsome life to what solemne shrine offered he not greate rich oblations to what famous house of religion throughout all Fraunce gaue not hee fayre lands for a great parte of it wrongefully wrouÌ„g from pore men which donations because they were so great were reuoked after his death to what holy man of name in al Christendome sent not he the golden gifts instantly desiring them in their daylie praiers to God to haue a speciall memento for the large increase of his yeares But amonge all other he fet out of Calabria one Robert an Heremite a man of all them of his time moste renowned for holynesse of life at whose feete at the firste méetinge he fell downe desiring him with manie a bitter teare to prolonge his life foolishly hopinge as the Heremite truely tolde him to obteine that of a man whiche God only was able to giue But yet fearinge that he was not surely enoughe defenced againste terrible death by spirituall helpe studiously also soughte for naturall by phisicke and founde one Cocterius who with large promises of longe life fedde his folishe humoure as the kinge againe glutted the physicians vnsatiable desire of golde with giuinge him ten thousande crownes a moneth yea in fiue monethes foure and fiftie thousande besides manie greate promotions promised if he did recouer his health Yet could not this rare liberalitie of the kinge make the physician courteous vnto him but hee woulde continually handle him verie roughly churlishely and with despitefull wordes vpbrayed vnto him his wrongfull and cruell demeanour towardes diuers of the nobilitie and the counsell and vsed often to tell him that he woulde also handle him so one day Although this vncourteous and proude dealinge greatly greeued the kinge and made him often to complaine of it vnto his familiars yet durste he in no wise put him away because that he had constantly affirmed that the kinge shoulde not liue sixe dayes after that he were gone Which direfull denunciation the kinge abhorred as gate of hell as the man that in al his whole life coulde not abide to haue it once tolde him that he must one day die and would often in his health will his friendes that when they should sée him daungerously sicke they shoulde in no case put him in minde of death where as in verie déede he shoulde haue meditated nothinge so much all his life longe which should haue bene a continual preparing of him self vnto death where vnto he should most assuredly come at the laste and howe soone vncerteine neither yet during his longe sicknesse stoode hee in greater dreade of death by inwarde diseases then he feared shortening of life by forreigne foes Wherefore he imprisoned manie noble men of great power diuerse faithful counsellours vpon vaine imagination conceiued in his fearefull minde of their infidelitie He woulde suffer verie fewe of the nobilitie to come neare vnto the place where he lodged much lesse come within the castell gate which was guarded daye and night with foure hundreth souldiours of whom the one halfe were Scottes whome he trusted better then his owne subiectes commaunding them to shoote at all men whiche did
towardes him who so obstinately refused the Empire that when the Legions in Germanie would néedes force him to take it he would haue killed him selfe if they had not desisted from their rebellious purpose this yong colte his sonne was brought vp with his mother who being banished and his two brothers put to death remained with his great graundmother Liuia widdowe of Augustus after whose death he went vnto his grandmother Antonia with whom he remained vntil he was ninetéene yeares of age at what time he was sent for by Tyberius to come vnto him into his slaughter house at Capreas where he remained without any honour There was he assaulted and vndermined tenne thousand ways groped prouoked ye and in a manner forced to complaine of the wronges done vnto his Father and his fréendes but neuer could there be any holde taken of him as though he had quite forgotten the fal of his fréendes as though no ill had happened vnto any of them but all those villanies of whom he suffered innumerable he passed ouer with incredible dissimulation and was so seruiceable vnto Tyberius and those that were néere aboute him that it was not without iust cause cōmonly spokē that neuer was there a better seruant nor a worse maister In this slauerie continued he all the reigne of Tyberius whom he succéeded wherby it is greatly to be marueyled howe he that had béene so long time one of the most wretched men of the worlde could for so shorte a fickle felicitie thinke him self soudenly translated into a god But that he was alwayes guiltie in conscience of his owne infirmities his straunge spitefull enuie towards all men that excelled in honour good fortune and finally in any thing did manifestly declare For firste he brake downe all the statuies of famous men that were set vppe in the Court of the Capitol by Augustus he thought also to haue destroyed quite all Homers works and there lacked litle but that he had taken out of all libraries all the Images and workes of Liuie and Virgil and also he often boasted that he would burne al the bookes of the Lawe Moreouer he tooke from all the Noble men the auncient ensignes of their houses from Torquatus his cheine from Cincinnatus his haire from Pompey the surname of the great Yea Ptolomey king of Mauritania his cosin whom he had sent for receiued and interteined very honourably because that at a publique spectacle he had through the glistring of his purple robe caused the people to gaze vppon him he soudenly strucke him on the face with his fist As often as he mette with any beautiful personage or that had a goodly bushe of haire he would incontinently deforme him with the shauing off the hinder parte of his head There was one Esius Proculus whose Father had béene Primipile this Proculus for his tall and bigge stature and beautiful and good making thereof was called Collosers this mans goodly personage did so spite the Emperour that soudenly as Proculus was beholding of the playes he commaunded him to fight first with a Thracian and then with an armed man with a shielde souldiour like and being victor in bothe conflictes the enuious wretch commanded him without all delay to be bound and clothed in olde patched garments to be carried throughout euery stréete of the citie and shewed vnto the women a villanie of all other moste great as thoughe he had béene a man altogether effeminate and then to haue his throte cutte Finally there was no man of so base a state nor of so abiect and beggerly calling whose commodities he obtrected not in so muche that when at a publique game one Porius a chariot man had made his slaue frée because he had had good lucke in running that day and the people commending well of the maister for so doing had giuen a great shoute Caligula was brought into suche a choler that he incontinently flang vppe and woulde be gone the whiche he did with suche haste that treading vppon his gowne he wente tumbling downe the steppes of the Theatre chasing and crying out that the Lord of nations the people of Rome did for a very light a matter giue more honour vnto a slaue chariot man then vnto consecrated Princes and vnto him selfe being present Furthermore the thinnesse of the haires of his head and his balde crowne bereft him of blisse séeing that he did take it for such a deformitie that to looke out at a windowe aboue him whereby his baldenesse might be espied for in Rome at those dayes men went bare headed or vppon any occasion to name a goate was present death Yet was there a greater breach made in his blisse by the death of his sister and harlot Drusilla for it made him almoste starke madde in so muche that he did let his beard and haire growe long and often vpon a souden and that also in the night time woulde he for no cause fling on galloppe along all the Sea ceast of Italie and ouer into Sicyl where when he had done the like he woulde come backe againe as faste vppon the spurre He proclaimed for her a Iustitium during the whiche time it was deathe for a man to laughe washe or suppe either with parentes wife or children and yet was he also angrie with them that made lamentation for her because as he saide she was of a gillet become a Goddesse and to affirme this lie he gaue vnto two men Deries sestertium that is 7812.l 10 s̄ Who sware that they sawe her ascending vp into heauen Moreouer to put him in minde of his mortalitie he inioyed health neither of bodie nor minde For he was a childe he was troubled with the falling sicknesse after he was growen to mannes state he woulde otentimes be so taken that he could neither go stand nor stay vpon himselfe And that his wittes were not wel he himself perceiued and therfore would euer and anon thinke to separate himselfe from companie and purge his braine But most was he vexed with lacke of sléepe for he neuer could take aboue thrée houres rest in a night neither them quietly but in great feare through diuerse terrible dreames and visions And therefore a great part of the night did he for tediousnesse of watching and lying vse nowe sitting in his bed and then walking vp and down in long galleries euer and anon to call looke for daye Once in his short reigne was he very dangerously sicke in so muche that of a foolishe flatterie Publius Africanus Potitius sware that if that the Gods woulde vouchsafe of their woonted goodnesse to graunt life vnto Caligula the then he would gladly léese his life for him and Secundus a horseman of Rome vpon the same condition vowed to fight at a game of sword players bothe whiche vowes did Caligula when he was recouered make them to fulfil least they shuld be forsworne worthily though ingratefully forcing them to die who would wickedly though feignedly wish his life that
they had supped together merrily abroade and threwe his bodie into Tyber for no other cause but for that his fathers minde was that Frauncis shoulde marrie and increase the name of the Borgiae the which he would make honourable with large dominions but Caesar he had as it were banished into the cloyster of religion disguising him with a redde hatt the whiche was farre inferiour vnto his royal harte and immesurable desire of earthly honours who bare in his ensigne this worde Aut Caesar aut nihil an Emperour or nothinge the which insatiable thirst of his the Colonnese fearinge that he would quenche with their bloude abandoned all their dominions and landes and fledde away folowing the Castor who some say bites off his owne stones when hee is hardly persued knowing that for them onely his death is sought but the Orsines allured with his liberal interteinemente to serue him in the warres were almoste all murdered Baptista the cardinall at Rome Frauncis the Duke of Grauina and Paulo in the territorie of Perugia Liberto Prince of Firma Vitelloccio Vitelli one of the Princes of Ciuita de Castello at Senogallia the which caused all the rest of the Vitelli to flie and by their liues with the losse of their liuinges And also the noble men of the house of Gaieta who possessed the towne of Sermoneta in Campagna di Roma Iames Nicholas and Bernardine beeing slaine some one way and some an other yealded their castels lands and goodes vnto Caesar And also the Dukes of Camerino Caesar Anibal and Pyrrhus were expelled their dominions and strangled Astor Manfredi Prince of Fauenza yealdinge the towne and himselfe vppon promisse of safetie was slaine and cast into Tyber Furthermore Pandulpho Malatesta Iohn Sforza and Guido Vbaldo had rather by flight leaue their dominions of Rimini Pesaro and Vrbine vnto the inuading tyranne then be murdered And also Iames Appiano let him haue the principalitie of Piombino But Catharine Sforza who reigned at Forly and Imola hauing lost by force her dominions being taken prisoner was brought in triumphe to Rome But while by this bloudy way he encroched on al the principalities about him he also commaunded the prince of Beselio base sonne vnto Alfonse kinge of Naples yea and his sisters husbande to be slaine in her chamber yea in her bed being before wounded in the Courte of the church of Saint Peter but so that it was thought he woulde escape And by the same meanes he dispatched the yonger Borgia the Cardinal because he had seemed to fauour the duke of Candia his brother he also sauagely slue as he came from supper Iohn Cerbellion a man of greate nobilitie both at home and also in the warres because he had seuerely kept the honestie of a gentlewoman of the house of Borgia He did also put to death Iames Santatrucio a noble man of Rome theÌ„ whome there was no man more friende and familiar with Caesar neither for anie other cause but for that he was able vpon a soudeine to gather together a stronge bande of lustie felowes of the Orsine faction make them couragiously to atteÌ„pt anie exploite But wheÌ„ for this cursed and vnquenchable desire of Empire he and his father had appointed to poyson at a feast certeine noble and riche princes his man mistaking the flagon gaue thereof vnto the vngratious father and worse sonne whereof the father beeing olde died but his blessed byrde a lustie younge man was by manie medicines conserued to greater punishmente for after the deathe of Alexander the Colonese and the Orsines that were lefte returned vnto Rome Then Caesar that he might not be ouermatched by haueing warres with both the families restored vnto the Colonese all their possessions on whome in diuerse places he had sumptuously buylt Guido Defeltrie recouered Vrbine Iohn Sforza Pesaro excepte the castle Malatesta Riminie but the castle was stil retayned by Caesar and the Baleones Perugia through the helpe of the Orsines who also toke Tuderto with the castell and put to shamefull deathe the capteine and with like successe at Viterby Ameria and all the cities there aboutes either they restored the Princes of their owne faction or else strengthened them and had also beesieged Caesar in Nepe if hée had not fearefully fledde into Rome the whiche hee obteyned of the newe Pope Pius as a safe refuge but Pope Pius dying within twentie seuen dayes the Orsines also entered the citie with a greate power whome the greatest parte of the citizens fauoured and the Orsines requested that Caesar might according to iustice be put to death for his manifolde murthers or els kept in sure warde in the castell vntill that his cause were hearde But while the matter was prolonged with outragious altercations Caesar being afrayde stale away out of his house in the Suburbes into the Popes palace then his souldiours who vntil that time had valiantly guarded him perceiuing that their Capteines courage quayled and that he sought for hyding holes fled also awaye some to one place and some vnto another leauing him guardlesse among the cruell companies of his enimies and forceing him because hee could otherwise stande in no suretie of his life to desire as a greate benefite to be cast into the castell of Sainct Angelo vntil that a new Pope were created the which béeing Iulius the seconde would not set him at libertie before that he had deliuered vp all the Castels and townes that he had in the territorie of Rome Romandiola and the duchie of Spolieto But not long after preparing at Naples an expedition into Romandiola he was at the Popes earnest suite imprisoned in the newe castell and shortly after carried into Hispanie where he brake prison and fledde vnto the kinge of Nauarre whose néere cousine he had married and there was slaine in a skirmishe with this euent that not béeing knowen he was spoyled of all his armour and clothes and left starke naked and so brought by one of his seruauntes vnto the citie of Pompelona where he had sometimes béene Bishoppe a notable document of mannes miserie But as I saide before I passing ouer in silence all those greate worldlinges whome Fortune at the last ouerthrewe will examine the liues and infortunities onely of those whome the worlde doth account most fortunate and search whether that God did not ofteÌ„ make them to féele his force and to confesse their owne frailtie The xxxi Chapter The vnluckie chaunces of Augustus AND first I will beginne with him that thought so well of his owne fortune that when he sent his nephue Caius into Armenia against the Parâ—thians he wished that the loue good will of Pompey the hardinesse prowesse of Alexander the Fortune of him self might accompanie him Neither had hee alone this opinion of his good Fortune but it was also generally receiued of all men in so muche that it was decréede and also kept vntil the time of Iustinian that the people shoulde crie at the creation of a