unto you who he was whose place he possessed He was an old Man full of the Gout the most wicked one in the whole City or peradventure the Country although it swarmed with such Companions It was his design to plant division amongst all if he could amongst the greatest Personages He had a plot at that time upon the Signior who not long before was invested with the government of that place whō he had more reason to reverence seeing that not one in the whole City complained of him But the only Cause was that he had always a wretched disposition to speak evil of Magistrates It was known well enough that he only did detract him to follow his old and vicious Custom For he had never so much as once seen him had ne'r heard of any of his actions whether they were good or evill The faults which he imputed to him were those which he had observed in other Governors He conceived that being of the same quality he must partake also of the same Imperfections It is true he had great familiarity with a Personage whose Authority was not to be disputed of And to beget in him an enmity against the Governor he one day informed him that he knew this Governor to be one of the most treacherous persons in the world he coundesign to deliver up the City to a Stranger This accusation of the gouty Old man was believed as an Oracle because he did know so well to disguise his wickednesse that one would take him to be a Man filled with all prudence He moreover affirmed that he had heard by divers Citizens of some pernitious design that was on foot It so hapned that the Governor for some particular good design had that evening been in all the Streets of the City with his Guard He who received the advertisement of his malicious person did observe it and infallibly believed that he had a desire to accomplish some bad Intention Wherefore having assembled the greatest part of the City and declared to them what he heard he took counsel with them to exhort the rest of the Citizens to be armed to stand upon their guard to prevent the Mischief that was to come In the several quarters of the City they were commanded to repair to the Corps de Guard so that all was in a tumult The Governor hearing this was come forth more strong and better accompanyed than before to understand for what cause they did so riotously assemble themselves without his particular Instructions If the fury of the People had not been restrained by the wisedom of some amongst whom the false Report of this Treachery was spred they undoubtedly had thrown themselves upon the Governour and cut him in pieces The gouty old man to excite them thereunto did stand at his Window and cryed out Liberty Liberty Gentlemen hang up that Wicked man who would sell your Fortunes and your Lives at once But the voice of the wisest Magistrates having more power than his own did tie up the hands of the most mutinous personages The Governor had notice of it who testified nothing but his intire affection to the publick Neverthelesse some of the Inferiour Officers who troubled every quarter did still persist to advertise the Citizens to stand upon their guard desiring that every one might partake in the Combustion One of these men was come to the house of the Merchant as before I have mentioned The Governor at last who understood of the Seditious exhortations of the gouty man and was fully advertised that it was he who had kindled the fire amongst all the people was resolved to send for him to chastise him according to his desert This Commission was given to two of his people who had been at his house to acquaint him that their Master understanding that he was a man of a pregnant apprehension and mature Counsel desired that he would come to him to assist him in giving some restraint unto the Commotion of the People He would believe nothing at the beginning but they made so many serious protestations to him that at last conceiving to himself that the Governor knew nothing of those words which he had spoke against him he flattered himself with a belief that possibly it might be that he would be glad to assist himself with his advise Propounding then unto himself the welfare and the honour which thereupon would redound unto him he resolved with himself not to refuse his Invitation He thereupon permitted that the two men should put him in an Elbow chair which they had brought for that purpose and willingly he suffered himself to be carried to that place whither they could never have brought him but by force They had carried him a great way when a Citizen by chance did meet with those who carried him and spake softly in the ear of one of them The Governour is not now in the place where you left him he is gone to the Castle conduct the old Knave thither He who had better ears than they conceived did readily understand those words which caused him to conjecture some sinister event did attend him Before they did carry him respectfully as a man of State and Quality but they now conceived that he should not be so well intreated when he was to come to the Castle of the City Neverthelesse he sate very quiet in the Chair and knowing that all the words in the world were unprofitable in his misfortune he pretended to fall fast asleep and began to snore His bearers being not accustomed to carry so heavy a burden had their arms extremely wearied and in great drops their sweat did abundantly fall from their faces so that being at the corner of the street where Iocundaes Father lived it being an unfrequented place they had a desire to repose themselves and being gone into a house of Resort to quench their thirst they drank a draught or two extraordinarily imagining that the man would not so suddenly awake and if he should awake he would never have the desire to run away or if he had the desire yet he had not the power to put it in performance his leggs being swollen with the Dropsie and his feet and toes tyed into knots by the Gout but they were deceived for they no sooner were departed from him but he knew well enough how to use his limbs fearing the anger of the Governor and left that place empty which Francion filled The two Conductors having drank sufficiently did return to their Office and did not consider whether it were the right man or no who was in the Chair because there was a Curtain about it by the means whereof Francion was concealed for they could see nothing of him but the tops of his toes They undertook their charge again and brought him away chearfully the Wine having given new forces to them Francion said not a word fearing to stop them and being very glad to be carried into any place whatsoever
to have in our former dwelling for there it was very meane having but a slender stock of money left after our too extravagant expence This miserable life I believe was a principall cause of a great indisposition besieg'd Perretta for Melancholly and discontent to see her self fallen from a plentifull condition to calamity gaining the ascendance over her Spirit the good woman felt her self drawing neerer dissolution and therefore as most People use in like extremity she would impart some documents before her death Considering me as her daughter I received from her dying mouth very apparent testimonies of a Cordiall affection of all her secrets and Maximes she profess'd she concealed not any from my knowledge and besides gave me divers wholesome Counsells which I have since made good use of In summe no scruple nor superstition harbour'd in her heart She lived so roundly that I imagine if what is reported of the other World be true the rest of humane Soules now play at Bowles with her's She knew no more what belonged to remorse or Cases of conscience than those of Topinambou for she said if she ever had heard any discourse thereof in her youth she had lived long enough to forget it as a thing that serv'd for nothing but to disturb the Mind's repose She had often told me before the riches of this World are so common that they ought not to appertaine more peculiarly to one than another and that it argued ingenuity and wisdome in any one to take a share though out of others hands if fortune favour'd the designe with a convenient opportunity For said she I came naked into this World and naked I will return If I have got any of others goods I shall not carry them with me let them goe seek where they are and take them it nere shall trouble me What! If I should be punisht after my death for committing that which they call Fellony or Theft might not I with reason answer my accusers that 't were injustice to bring me into the World to live and not permit me to take those things requisite to maintaine a Life After severall such discourses her soule took leave of her Carcase which I buryed without any Pompe as she injoyned me for she know there was nothing more unnecessary Soone after her decease I procur'd some new acquaintance that furnish'd me with a little Belly-timber But the losse of my good Mother was so sensible besides the ill hap I had to incounter now and then some persons too well acquainted with my former carriages that I resolv'd to leave Paris and to remove my station to the City of Roan My Beauty was yet powerfull enough to attract me many Visitants but making no respect or distinction of Persons in effect being a stable for all Horses among others I met with a running Nagg by whose virulency I was so paid that in short time I found my body infected with a foul disease Cursed be those brought it into France it disturbs the pleasures of well disposed people and it is favourable to none but Chirurgions who indeed owe Candles to one of our Kings for leading his Souldiers to Naples to get it there and bring the seeds of it hither The onely happinesse in my misfortune was that an honest and gratefull Chirurgion to whom I had done some courtesie before physick'd me for much lesse than any other of his profession would have taken I will not entertain you any longer with these Ordures though I know you are none of those squeamish people to whom a foul relation savours as ill as the thing it self Let it suffice to tell you I took a voyage as they say in Bavaria to see the Emperour inthron'd and at my return I found my face so changed I was inforced to make my recourse to Art Painting Waters and Perfumes were the daily remedies I used to repaire the ruines my Body and Face sustained Besides I began to consult my Looking-glasse for new attractions practised a certain affected manner of speech that infinitely inchanted those I had a desire to intrap At last a man very rich and without office became so vanquished by my charms that he took me into his own house to injoy me there with more liberty I grant he might have found a handsomer Mistress than I and so he confessed himself but there was something in my humour sympathised so with his disposition that he preferred me before all others of my sex The cause of our Separation proceeded from a little brangling betwixt us because I made more havock of his goods and spent his money more lavishly than he was willing to permit The practice of my first profession being yet fresh in my memory that was my present refuge I applyed my selfe eagerly to it a long time refusing no body that brought what would help to make the Pot boyle While I was in the height of my trading a certain Meacock that was soon after to be married desirous to know before-hand in what parts to attaque his enemies in Cupids combats where he never yet had shewn his valour was addressed to me by a Kinsman of his to receive instructions Having been at my Lodging one Sunday after dinner and informed I was gone to the Sermon thither came he to finde me out At his arrivall the Preacher falling upon the relation of the first part of Mary Magdalen's life inveighed bitterly against Courtezans and represented so lively the pains prepared for them in the other World that my Lover said to himself he might well enough go back again or seek another Mistress to do him that courtesie imagining I should be touch'd with too much remorse by the end of the Sermon to continue that life any longer But at the Sermons end he finding opportunity to accost me after he had discover'd me his thought of my conversion I return'd him this answer which perchance in your judgements will savour of much impiety However it is no matter I come not hither to make you believe I repent of my past iniquities Insooth Friend my soule must be very weakly principled to be startled at the stories this prating Monk has told us Don't I know well enough every one must follow his owne trade He makes it his profession to amuse the simple people with his Prattle disswading them from haunting debosh'd and lewd companies where they idly consume their time persons and purses or become ingaged in some desperate and unnecessary quarrell And I exercise my part to quench the Concupiscense of men by Charity Thus was my Novice paid and being a good silly soule according to the stamp of that old ignorant Age when people wip'd their Noses on their sleeves he wonder'd at my libertine humour which he took to be very wicked and inconsistent with his goodly Religion To make my story short we went together from Church to my Chamber where I read him a Love-Lecture and taught him what he desired to learn but
pay She accused me also of negligence that I had not looked out some place for my self as promised her at my departure I was constrained therefore to wear an old gray Sute which I had a Cloak of colour de roy which had a long time lain by me I was so ill accommodated that there was none of any judgement but would have taken me for the Son of the brave Captain of the Port. Neverthelesse I did goe abroad more often than before such a desire had I at that time to understand how all things were governed in the City which was a thought that never troubled me when I was in the College On the day before St. Martins I did repair to the Palace where I was never but thrice before to buy Gloves Being upon the stairs I saw a young man of my age coming down of whom I had some knowledge when I was in the College he was in a red Gown I remembred that he had a good voice and I believed that he was one of the Choristers of the Chapel and he passing by I had no more thought of him in that Relation Howsoever if the throng of the people had not removed me from him I would have saluted him with the Nickname that was given him in the College and brought those ralleries unto his mind with which he was ordinarily upraided concerning his Father who was one of the basest Usurers Extortioners in the world Some dayes afterwards I had again the curiosity to return to that abominable place and walking along the Gallery of the Mercers I did see again this Sot in a gown faced with Velvet a Sattin Cassock he was speaking to a handsome young Girl that did sell perfumes and making as though he whispered in her ear he did kisse her cheek and plaid with her Brests I was resolved then to understand what was the worth of my Companion but seeing how he was imployed I did at that time excuse him and passing forward I resolved to come more early the next day And finding him not in that place I walked from one side to another and resolved to wander up and down in the severall turnings where immediately I happened on some Chambers very obscure and ill built where I saw an infinite number of Scribes some whereof searched the Rolls others were writing and from time to time did tell great sums of money which did infinitely possesse me I was amazed to observe with what speed they counted it at the last I beheld my young Gallant to come out of the next Chamber in the same equipage in which he was the day before He was followed by a disconsolate Damoisel who held a Paper in her hand and by an old Man of a good Countenance in a long Robe who did speak unto him bare-headed and with great Respect although the Damoisel did not so much as turn her head aside to look upon him but did sing to her self some part of a melancholly Ditty which began thus Alas who shall hasten the time where I attend But because he did go with great hast and I could not follow him I advised with my self to call him by that Name which the Scholars gave him conceiving that I who had such familiarity with him might speak more freely to him than those who followed him You you Tocaret said I whither do you run with so much hast wherupon one of the tellers of the money taking notice to whom I spake did come out of his place and striking me with his fist Impudent said he I will make you quiet enough if I knew Diminutive Clerk to what Proctor you do belong I would cause you to be soundly punished If there were not many about him who seemed to be all of them against me I had undoubtedly revenged my self but all that I could then doe was to answer his words and to tell him in my passion that I was no Proctors Clerk but a Gentleman This made that wretched fellow to laugh with an open mouth and say unto those who were about him Observe but what a countenance of a Gentleman he bath with his elbows out and his Cloak that laughs at us and all the world in shewing its teeth How you infamous Wretch said I Do you reckon of Nobility but only by the habit I had said more unto him but that an honest young Man who carried a good quantity of Velvet under his arm taking me by the hand did conduct me through the next Gallery and said unto me Have a care what you speak you ought to respect the place where you are and the persons to whom you speak He is one of the Registers whom you have abused What is a Register said I one who like a Griffon is alwaies scraping together with his Talons he with his Talons scrapes every day Silver enough which is laid forth upon the Table for him He made answer to me you are too scandalous You have also I know not by what Name miscalled one of the Counsellors within What that young Man said I who passed by I would fain have spoken with him for the last time that I was in the College where I received my education with him be did steal from me my pens my penknife and my Note Book I have certain proof of it and I have a desire to reprove him for it He who did speak to me and was a Sollicitor did advertise me to have a care of my self in regard of the quality of the person I made answer to him What do you say he is a Counsellor Undoubtedly he hath more folly in his head than Counsel The Sollicitor replyed the Court would not have conferred that dignity on him if it did not find him capable to receive it I made answer So it is most commonly observed that he who is advanced to the greatest honours in the Vniversity is commonly the greatest Asse and every new office that he hath doth serve but so much the more to declare his imperfections Be not so vain said the Sollicitor I am not vain at all said I for by my birth I am one of the most noble in France and he is but the Son of a base Merchant His Place and Office doe ennoble him said the Sollicitor And how did he come by that place said I. By his good Purse said the Sollicitor I made answer And even the basest Abject in the world may have such a quality and cause himself to be as much respected as long as he hath mony to command O good God! said I what a shame is this Where shall Virtue be now acknowledged Having spoke those words I did forsake the Sollicitor and did go into a great Hall full of a world of people who trotted up and down on this side and on that like pease boyling in a pot For my self if I had been carried into such a place when I was asleep I should verily believe when I waked That I was in
me and I take the boldnesse to present it you to refresh your memory and make you more willing to peruse the Pieces I have delivered you concerning my Processe and I beg your pardon if it be not answerable to your Desert The Bailiffe putting on a severe Countenance and gravely stroaking up his starch'd Mustachoes How Sir said he who doe you take me for I that am a Judge Royall whose Integrity is irreprovable doe you thinke me a Man to be corrupted by a Bribe or that your Present as you call it can oblige me to be e're a whit more carefull of your Cause Doe not I know my owne duty thinke you without such Remembrancers Go Go I have nothing to say to you nor your Satin neither though the purchasing my Office emptied my Coffers I confesse I will not however replenish them with Money so ill gotten I shall content my selfe with Honour and Authority Learn henceforwards not to tempt those that are incorruptible Did your Proctor give you this advice were I so assured he had no more discretion I should forbid him coming to the Barre this Twelve-month for he ought to understand better than you what concernes my charge My Father seeming somewhat troubled at this check and the personated choller that painted it selfe in the Judges face presently put up the Satin again under his Cloake and with a low Cap-Complement took leave without speaking one Word The Mistresse of the House who from an inner Chamber had heard all the difference not willing to let such Preyes escape her Chitches stopped his passage with a profound Courtesie accompanyed with these Words You see Sir my Husband is something Cholerick you took not the right course to make him a friend to your cause give me your Satin I will pacifie him well enough and he shall accept your Present My Father had already resolved to convert it into a Suit for his owne wearing though he seldome went in black indeed hating it as a Melancholy and undelightfull Colour which suited with none but People he did not greatly affect because contrary to his Martiall disposition In summe the Satin was delivered to Madam Baily-vesse But her Husband not knowing she had been so provident in meane time stood watching at his Hall window and seeing his Client goe through the Court Doe you heare doe you heare Monsieur de la Porta cry'd he aloud to my Father you shall be forgiven this once so I finde you no more tardy you may leave what you would have given me even now for I consider it would be too much trouble for you to carry it home againe I have given 't your Wife already answered my Father and so went away directly to his Proctors who was one of the best of the Cabal After he had heard the passages betwixt my Father and the Bailiffe This is no wonder you tell me Sir answered he Alas you know not the disposition of the Man so well as I He is no Catch-pole but he will catch as many Pieces as he can nothing comes amisse to his hands and his house is like Hell what e're you carry thither you must not expect to bring it back againe He ask'd you if I counsell d you to offer him that Present because he knowes there 's none of Vs that are acquainted with his humour will give our Clients any such Advice You should have given it his Wife at first or rather emploied some other to present it her the better to cover the corruption and that he might still preserve the repute of an Vpright Man Notwithstanding this Silken Baite my Father lost the Fish and was not onely cast in his Cause but adjudg'd to pay all Charges besides the Judges Fees which amounted high for Monsieur Baily cared not for playing at small games and the reason that incited him to pronounce that just sentence was this The Adverse party having intelligence from the Mercer that sold the Satin how it had been bestowed and fearing that fine present might prove prejudicial to his interest went likewise before the Day of Hearing to solicite Mr. Bailiff But not daring to offer him any thing knowing the custome and humour of the Personage he bethought himself of a gentile wile to obtaine his own pretences and cloak the others corruption So observing a handsome Picture as he walked in the Hall with his Judges Wife he fell into high commendations of the rare workmanship and wished he knew where to purchase such another Peice This is at your service said the Lady if you are so taken with it you may command it I am infinitely engaged to your courtesie answered he But pray tell me what it cost for I am resolved to give you to the full value Truly Sir it cost six Crownes There 's six and thirty for you replyed he putting a purse of money in her hand the paines you took to buy it and the trouble you will find in weaning your fancy from it deserves a no less summe The subtill Woman easily conjecturing why he gave her so great a price for her Picture pleaded his Cause so close that overcome by her solicitation her Husband pronounced sentence in his favour There 's no base Action committed though never so secretly but by one Accident or other is still brought to light This was published by a Servant-maid the Bayliff turn'd away after he had paid her with many heavie blowes which so exasperated the silly wenches rage that wheresoever she came she related this story and spake his praises in such termes as rendred him odious and subject to all Peoples censure My Father distasted at his ill successe went to communicate his case to a Counsellor in the Court of Parliament of our Province desiring to know if he might not appeale from the sentence of that inferiour Justice-seller The Lawyer who was never accustomed to disswade any Client from contention failed not to remember his own interests in this Occurrence and incouraged my Father by divers reasons to sue out his Appeal You that are a Gentleman said he must shew you have some Spirit and not suffer your selfe to be overcome easily A Processe is a kinde of a Combate where the Palme is given to him that wins the Prize as well as at the Olympick games He that makes himself a Sheep according to the Proverb the Wolf will eat him you must live in the Countrie among stubborn churlish people that will be apt to wrangle and denie your due observance or come off quit of their Rents especially if they see you once so tame as to suffer your self to be led by the Nose like a muzled Ox. Besides if you remove your Suit to our illustrious Court you will finde incomparable Advantages It will be a meanes to make you knowne to those that never heard of you and render your Name immortall For our Registers and Records are eternall Monuments where your Memorie shall be preserved to all Posteritie and your successors
their children who durst not revenge themselves of me but I did so cunningly plead mine owne cause that they were constrained to avouch that I had all the reason in the world to correct those absurdities which they committed Oftentimes hearing my Father discourse of Universities in which there were Colleges to instruct youth and where all kind of peoples children were admitted of I passionately desired to go thither for to enjoy so good company whereas at home I onely conversed with Countrey Louts and bruite Coridons My Father perceiving that I was naturally inclined to Learning would not at all divert me from the same in respect he full well knew that it was but a very ill Trade for me to follow the Warres as he had done Now whereas the Colleges of our parts were not according to his Phantasie notwithstanding all my Mothers obstacles and moans he himselfe having some urgent affaires at Paris took me along with him and boorded me with the Master of the College at Lysieux unto whom was recommended by some of his friends having given me in charge unto a certain Advocate of his old acquaintance whom he desired to furnish me with all necessaries he returned into Britaine leaving me to the mercy of Pedants who having dived into my small capacity they declared me to be fit for the fifth Classis though it was by favour too But marke you what a sad alteration I met withall and how farre I was to seek being gotten quite beyond my byas for I came very short of the enjoyment of those pleasures which I promised my selfe and you may imagine that it was very strange unto me to be absent from my Father who oftentimes took me along with him unto severall Lordships which he had in Britain and where I was alwayes called my young Master and you may imagine how it angred me to have lost that sweet liberty which I enjoyed by galloping from place to place in the Countrey going a Nutting and plucking of grapes in the Vineyard without feare of the Farmers as also in following the Doggs and Hunts-men for that as now I was more cloystered up by these Fryers and was forc't to keep houres to be assisting at the Divine service at Meales and at the Lectures when as the Bell told by which all our Actions are regulated and in lieu of my former Master the Parson who never gave me so much as an ill word I had now to doe with a Regent who had a terrible aspect and who walked alwayes with a whip in his hand with which he could as well fence as any one of his Calling Nor doe I believe that Dionysius the Tyrant who after a strange change of his Fortunes became Scholemaster to the end that he might still command had a more majesticall haughty and terrible countenance than himselfe Now the most difficult taske which I met withall under this Mans dominion was that I was never to speak but in Latin and I could as well have been hanged as not to let slip some words of my Mother-tongue insomuch that I ever and anon incurred the penalty of receiving a blow with a Ferule for my part I once resolved to doe as Pythagoras his Scholler did to keep silence for seven yeares together in regard as soon as I opened my Mouth I was accused and reviled with as hainous words as if I had been the greatest monster in the world but they might as well have cut out my Tongue as have debarred me from speaking truth besides I inclined so much towards the property of my Mothers sexe as that I would not let my Tongue grow mouldy for want of using of it insomuch that to let it have its full scope and carriere I was constrained to make it pronounce the quaintest Latin words that I could devise or had learned unto which I added others in Pedlers French to patch up my discourse withall My Chamber-Pedant was as proud and impertinent an Ape as possible could be he caused himself to be called Hortensius out of a vaine-glory as if he had been descended from that famous Orator who lived at Rome in Cicero's time or that he were as elegant as he I suppose his right name was Master Heurt eur but that he purposely altered it to the end people might believe he had something of a Roman in him and that the Latin was as naturall to him as his Mother-Tongue In like manner divers Authors of this our Age have more ridiculously clad their names in a Roman disguise and have them terminated in an ius that their books might have a better vent and that the Vulgar and Ignorant might believe that they were composed by antient writers Nor shall I need to trouble my selfe to name them farther you need but to repaire to Pauls Church yard or to Ducke Lane where you may know them by their workes But notwithstanding that my Master committed the like folly and that he was endowed with an innumerable quantity of such like mock-vertues All of us Scholars were not a jot sorry for it not so much I will promise you as to finde his inexpressable dogged and miserable covetous condition which made him pocket up the greatest part of our boord Wages to feed us onely on Poore John or empty Platters And as then to my great griefe and regret I did learne that all the words which doe expresse the disasters and misfortunes of Scholars doe by a very remarkable fatality begin with a P. as first of all touching our Masters themselves they are Pedants and Penurious fellowes we the Scholars are pitifull poor painfull punisht pennilesse and such like Epithets which are so numberlesse that there would be three maine things wanting to summe them up unto you a good Dictionary a great deale of Patience and a good deale of Leisure As for our Breakfast and after-noons Lunchins we were even at the mercy of a most accursed mercilesse person who purposely to bereave us of our pittances took a walk by his Masters command at the very instant that he should have delivered them unto us purposely to spare charges and to make us fast out a bad dinner when as nothing was set before us but what my Master had a minde we should eate nor could we ever crave so much favour at his hands as to obtaine any Redishes Sallat Mustard or Vinegar lest they might beget in us a comming appetite or a good stomach to our victualls Master Hortensius my learned Tutor was one of those who loved such like Sentences as those which were engraven on Apollo's Temple and therefore he wrote Nequid nimis over our Kitchin doore that the world might take notice that it stood not with his good liking that a Man should surfeit with the Banquets and Quickshawes which were there to be made ready Good God! a most pittifull messe in comparison of that which the very Swine-heards of our Village did daily feed on and for all that we were termed to
I demanded of him if he had not need of my service he told me that he had already entertained a Minstrell and given him six souse in earnest and promised him a Crown more for his pains I replyed I demand of you but only one half Crown both for me and my Companion We can also doe you good service in the Kitchin in which we are most sufficient to discharge our selves having been both of us under Cooks in one of the most hospitable Kitchins of France The Country man finding us to be more usefull and cheaper than any other following the advice of his Wife who would not be at more charge than needs she must did entertain us The other Fiddler came immediatly afterwards so there was no little dispute betwixt him and me he alleged that he had contracted with him two days before and that he came two miles on purpose to serve at the Wedding I affirmed that I had notice of it as well as himself and came eight miles being hired by a certain man who fifteen days agoe did give me earnest as he passed that way and injoyned me not to fail to be at the Wedding My cause was found by all who were present to be better than his wherefore having kept his earnest he did go away discomforted We did set our selves to work in the Kitchin and Clerantes who would oftentimes enquire of his people how his meat was dressed and be present with them in the Kitchin had made very good sawce if he had been allowed materials wherewith to do it We did content our selves to make all things ready after the grossest manner according to the Counsell of our Supervisers who ever and anon would come to see us Every one being returned from Masse the Table was covered and they did sit down to dinner The Citizens Wife did sit down first of all for it was the Daughter of the Keeper of her Vineyards that was married I had the opportunity to gaze a long time upon them all and must confesse that I have seldom seen more handsome Women Dinner being ended the Bridegroom and his Bride did sit down at the upper end of a Table on which was placed a great Brazen Basin and at every gift which was brought unto them for an Offering they stooped down their heads and made a great reverence in the way of thankfulnesse Those who gave two pieces of silver were so covetous of glory that the better to be heard they did let them fall down into the Basin one after the other The Citizens Wife did make them a present of two silver Forks another woman of the Parish did give them an Iron Fork to take Flesh out of the Pot and at the other end thereof there was a little Ladle some gave them Pincers and some Hammers which at the farthest end were made to open and a little to divide the head the better to book out nails In whatsoever was given I did observe some figure of the Fork which was a bad presage for poor sobelin After the offring was ended he stayed with his Wife at the I ables end almost halâ— an hour to see if any more pieces of silver would drop into the Basin after which time they retired themselves and counted what they had laid forth and perceiving they were at great losse in their Wedding Dinner they did both fall a weeping so abundantly that I who was next unto them was constrained to comfort them The Father of the Bride did then come unto them no told them that the Lord of the Town had consented to him that ad the Company should come thither and dance in his Castle and that they themselves were to goe formost with the Violl I made ready my Instrument and playing the first fancy that came into my mind I was the Conductor of all the Troop The sound of the Cimball did not please any of them Clerantes therefore was constrained to leave off his unprofitable musick and going directly before me he had the garb and every posture of a Iuggler so directly that had I not known him I should have taken him for the greatest Hocus Pocus in the world Being in the Court of the Castle I played the Canaries which almost all the company danced After that I played Galliards and Currantoes which the Clowns did dance in such a manner that I received great pleasure by it which hindred me from entertaining any grief to see my self so prodigiously metamorphosed On the other side I was infinitely taken with the discourse of some old women who late next unto me They said that the parents of the Bride and Bridegroom were niggardly and basâ— that they had no more than one Violl and for making them no better cheer Paramandâ— who was one of them said that when she married ber eldest daughter â—oan there was left so much provision that the next day being Thursday they were glad to send to their Curat to come and help them to eat with them for fear the meat should be spoiled if she should have kept it until â—unday and yet for all that she gave Almes in the Evening to all the poor in the Parish and at that Wedding she had Violls and Gitterns and all manner of wind Instruments Others of them had the like discourse and did not much mind the dancing But that which was most pleasant to me to understand was the Complement of a young Clown with one of the maid Servants of the Lord of the Castle he did accost her with such a smile that it did draw his mouth unto his ears and in his reverence to her he did shake and wriggle his tayl and folding up the brims of his hat he did say unto her And how goes it with you Rabina you look melancholy on it I am afraid you are not well You are pleased to say so said the Servant Ha Rabina have you seen the Bride said the Villager And will not you be taken as well as others There hath been a hard Frost this Winter Well God mend all The Maid Servant made answer Take heed that no flouting Fellow over-hear us It is true said she they are taken if they doe not fly away The Bridegroom hath a greater Cackle with him than my Aunts Hens He shall not have my good word â—…anan his Bride looks sweetly on it because he loves her so the girdle she doth wear half of silver and half of silk was a powerful chain to attract his heart to her service for you ought to understand that since a Servant doth carry such an Ornament on her reins there is neither Groom nor poor Artisan that will not give her more greedy glances than a man pining for hunger doth on the butchers meat in the Shambles Whereupon the Villager began to speak but in so strange a tone that I know not whether be wept or laughed Zoookers my mother hath told me of you and seeing she would not answer him be repeated the same
forth from your Belly with Musick far differing from his It will be a young Child who will do nothing else but cry untill you shall give him that breast to suck which your Shepherd hath so often kissed and this is the reason why I counsel you as much as I can to refrain for the time to come from going to the melodious Cavern The Brown Lasse followed the advice of her Companion but Francion for all that did want for no Game to sport himself withall He had many other female practitioners as well as her self insomuch that he seemed to be the Town-bull of that and all the other places thereabouts If he found any Girl that was more coy than the rest be had recourse to his old artifices to overcome her I am of an opinion said he to himself that it is of no great Importance what course of life it is we live if so be have contentment with it We ought not to take any care at all from whence this Contentment doth proceed if it comes according to our wish What occasion then of sorrow have I although of a Gentleman I am become a Shepherd since I enjoy all the sweetest delights in the world Ought I to afflict my self to observe the means I must use to arrive to the end of my intentions since I so happily do accomplish them Thus did he argue and reason on his own fortune and many voluptuous persons have the same thoughts without dreaming of the punishments that do follow so licentious a life Some having defloured Maids and got them with child are by Justice constrained to marry them or to suffer imprisonment or to give a round sum of money to marry them to others Sometimes also the Parents themselves being resolved to be revenged on those who doe dishonour their Children doe cause those perfidious Lovers to fall under the hands of Assassinates Amongst those poor people with whom he did converse Francion was in some reputation and because he had no desire to continue long amongst them it made him the more hardy howsoever for all that he should not have indangered himself and as for the Country Wenches that suffered themselves so easily to be abused they made their weaknesse and their simplicity the more apparent It is true that Francion had a more generous countenance and deportment than all the peasants in the Country but this should render him to be the more suspected amongst them especially because he was a stranger Neverthelesse we must confesse that Love comes to be Master of all manner of Spirits There was not a Wench in the whole Country but was charmed by the gallantry of this brave Shepherd and acknowledged that perfectly they did learn by him the whole method and the art of Love for all the sloth and the clownish simplicity of their apprehensions The Wife of the Labourer with whom he lived was as much enamoured on him and indeavoured to discover it to him by all the means she could invent She would let him goe in the morning to the fields without giving him wherewith to put into his Satchel because she might take the occasion to goe her self unto him to carry him his dinner She took a great pleasure to pull a morsell from his hands of which he had bit some part to eat it after him She would doe nothing but play the wanton when she was with him and with the leer of smiling invitation she would turn her eye aside upon him as who would say I even dye for the love of thee Francion did observe it well enough but he made as though he had not the least thought of it in the world for this woman did so displease him for some imperfections which he had observed in her that he could not but abhor to kisse her One day to dive into the bottom of his heart she smiling said unto him Thou knowest not on my faith what a report is brought unto me of thee which is noised over all the Country it is that thou are in love with me and that thou hast knowledge enough to take upon thee another condition of life than that of a Shepherd but that thou art glad to take upon thee that profession to have the means to stay with me You must take no notice said Francion of such Informers they are but Mockers and Detractors I know well enough that they speak not the truth Say you so replyed the Wife why Is it a thing impossible No said Francion but that which dependeth on our will is not always put into act although it lyeth in our power By this defence he set her farther off from the mark at which she aimed than she thought he would have done and he seemed not to regard the rowling motion of her eyes which sparkled with lust in propounding to her self the sudden fruition of incomparable delights The next morning her Husband being gone many miles from home she determined with her self to make use of the opportunity and whiles the Shepherd was in the fields she took away his Bed Sheets and Coverlet and hid them from him so that when he was going to take his rest finding all things removed out of his Chamber he came unto her to demand where she intended he should lodge that night O God said she I have carryed up all your bedding into the Garret to have it aired where it must continue two or three days In the mean time if you will promise to lie quietly and doe nothing to me I will permit that you take some part of my bed Francion understanding well enough what it was that she would have refused that offer said for two or three nights he would be content to lye upon the grasse in the Grange She finding that she was frustrated of her hopes in her first attempt did resolve her self upon a second and brought all the Shepherds bedding down again About the middle of the night she did sit up in a chair stark naked and did begin to complain and to call the Shepherd to her He lay in a Chamber hard by where distinctly he could hear her and came quickly to her with a Candle lighted in his hand to demand of her what she would have Woe is me said she I came now from doing my easement and such a feeblenesse hath taken me that I am not able to return to my Bed so that I am inforced to sit down here I pray you to take me into your arms and to carry me to bed for it is impossible for me to put one foot before another She prononnced her words faintly and made many stops as she did speak them and hanged down her head so that Francion believed that she was sick in good earnest He therefore did take her up so cleanly that she touched not the ground with her toes and carrying her to the Bed He turned his face quite another way from hers because as he conceived there came an ill smell from