Selected quad for the lemma: cause_n
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B03435
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A fathers advice to his son at the university: wherein is hinted some general directions, which may be usefully read by persons of any age or sex.
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1693
(1693)
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Wing F553A; ESTC R176976
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82,678
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160
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shall be 〈◊〉 thine heart And thou shalt teach them unto thâ— Children c. And in cap. 32.46 He says Sâ—â— your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day which you shall command your Children to observe to do Let your Deportment toward them be such as may procure them to fear respect and love you and so soon as they comâ— to the Years of any Understanding mind you Engagements at their being Baptised and in discharge thereof hold forth to them the Obligation you did then come under and take theâ— solemnly and expresly bound to the performance of their Part and as their Capacities wâ—â— admit instruct them so far as you can in every part of their Duty God-ward curb in them every tendency to evil such as Lying Swearing Sabbath-breaking and what else their Corruption derived from you makes them prone to commit and as you are whilst they do well to be familiarly affection at towards them so far as is consistent with the reverential Aw they ought to have of you even so as you respect their Well-being here or to Eternity forbear not Reproof and Chastisement when their Carriage calls for it A Parent would justly be contemned that should suffer his Child to die for Hunger whilst he were able by any thing within his power to prevent it and unexpressibly more is that Parent to be abominate who does not by suitable and fatherly Correction and all Instruction within his power prevent his Child 's not only dying but suffering the extremity of Torments to all Eternity Forbear Chastising whilst you are in Passion and much more ought you to beware of doing it only to satisfie Passion but have ye the glory of God in your Child 's wel-doing as your Aim 66. If it shall please God you live with your Children whilst they be marriageable and Occasions offer for their entering into that state of Life I intreat you let it be done with a prospect to their eternal wel-being I have my self observed what I consider much to be lamented that persons whom I judge truly serious in the ways of God are too usually but little tender of their matching their Children suitable and with respect to their eternal Salvation how seldom doth it happen that a Youth albeit prophane if he have Riches and what the World foolishly considers Credit and Honour is refused any Young-woman in marriage surely there can be no Action less consistent with Reason then Parents so disposing of their Children and they will at that Great Day of God's judging Sinners then perceive it had been their Interest rather to have matched them with the meanest Mechanick of honest Qualifications and a Christian Walk Endeavour in your Childrens being setled in Marriage that it be with such as may be Helps and Inducements to their Duty God-ward and above all things and in the first place be satisfied in that so far as is within your power 67. As your Children are not of themselves to enter into that State against or without your consent so as a Parent you are to be reasonable in your Grounds for refusing it and in their Marriage it is your Duty to advise direct and hinder if you see it necessar but altogether forbear pressing them to marry where their own Inclinations do's not freely go along 68. When they are to go out of your Family and enter themselves into any other condition of Life endeavour by good Advice to fit and direct them for what is to be their Duty and above all things press their depending upon God for strength without which it is impossible for them to do well If they shall go from you to their own or any other Family by Marriage instruct them in the Duties suitable to their Station If Sons exhort them to what I have hinted in this my Advice to you and enlarge therein as you will find sufficient Ground so to do And if Daughters be assisting to them in your Directions for their Carriage in what is required of them under that Relation 69. Their end and manner of entering to it would be with an entire respect to the Glory of God and when in it their Charge is indeed great whatever is the Husbands duty she at least in his absence is to supply his place and her fidelity care and sincere love and affection to her Husband is to appear in all her Actions she would by her not gading abroad and a modest quiet and discreet Carriage whilst at home evidence her firm Resolution to the discharge of her Duty Solomon in Prov. 7.11 12. Tells you the Carriage of a Naughty Woman She is loud and stubborn her feet abide not in her house Now is she without now in the streets c. And in Tit. 2.4 5. The Apostle presses Women may be sober love their Husbands love their Children And that they be Discreet keepers at home Good obedient to their own Husbands c. And as there is Business that do's more properly belong to a Husband so there is that the Wife is almost only concerned 〈◊〉 such as the Care and Oversight of almost all within Doors and particularly of the Education and Up-bringing of Children whilst young when they come to the World It is apparent that Nature by giving to Mothers Breasts and Milk fitted for their Nourishment has intended their discharging that Duty I am indeed sensible that sometimes the want of ability or necessary Diversion in other Affairs and other Accidents occurring may hinder in which Cases it is Duty to forbear but it is much to be feared that too many without just Ground puts off the nursing of their Children to their great Inconvenience It might be Argued that the nature of that Nourishment may influence the Humour and Temper of the Child and it is uncontravertedly true that it is a real Cause for a more firm Bond of Affection betwixt Children and Parents and surely it is very pleasant to see Mothers of whatever Quality when there is fitness and ability for that Duty discharging it And when Children comes to any Years of Discretion the Wife is Joyntly concern'd with the Husband in their Instruction 70. What servants you need and are fitting for you in your Station make choice of them having in the first place a respect to God's being served by them in your Family and what ever be the qualifications and fitness of any servant for any worldly Concern if they be notoriously wicked or you be satisfied that they will not concur to worship God in your Family let no worldly Consideration procure your entertaining them I shall not say that you admit of none but such as are Gracious but be sure they be such as are not known to be wicked and when they come into your Society let it be your care that they know their Duty God-ward and practise it As their Master you are not only to provide for their suitable Maintenance and to give them what is
will be of no effect until we have entirely resigned our selves and moulded our affections into that frame as whatever be His Dispensations to us-ward we can cordially say with old Ely 1 Samuel 3.18 It is the Lord let him do what seemeth good unto him 21 Hate and eschew Pride which is rightly termed the Devils sin for it was the cause of the Fall of that Creature from a most excellent â—tation and if we could seriously and unbyasedly look upon it we would see great cause to abhor it It is not only without reason but against reason for any proud person by their being so are so far from conciliating respect or any thing else desireable as it do's directly procure to them disrespect and doth in every thing prejudge them for the Proud have this misfortune to displease every body but themselves It is impossible a vain man should love to be blamed and a man when he hateth reproof ought not to be accounted a reasonable Creature and Pride is unspeakably disadvantagious by its being hateful to God as in Prov. 8.13 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil and arrogancy c. And the sad effects thereof are foretold Prov. 16.18 Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty Spirit before a fall And the punishments threatned therefore are apparent Prov. 15.25 The Lord will destroy the house of the proud c. Psal 119.25 Thou hast rebuked the proud which are cursed and in Prov. 16.5 The Lord declareth his abhorrence thereof and the undoubted certainty of its punishment Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord though hand joyn in hand he shall not go unpunished And Psal 101.5 him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer 22. As the extream folly of Pride is apparent from many places of Scripture so are the advantages of being truly humble as in Psal 9.12 He forgeteth not the cry of the humble and in Prov. 29.23 A mans pride shall bring him low but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit And in Isa 57.15 For thus saith the high and lofty One whose name is Holy I dwell in the high and holy place with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit c. And as pride in heart doth altogether incapacitate a person from drawing near to God in Duty so Humility hath the promise of being heard and accepted of as in Psal 10.17 Lord thou hast heard the desire of the humle thou wilt prepare their heart thou wilt cause thine ear to hear 23. Be sober and moderate in your Apparel for excess therein is most unbecoming a man and inconsistent with reason forbear following of Fashions or appearing singular in being too much opposite to them a decent comeliness therein answerable to your Station is desireable for it is obvious that Cloaths can add no worth to the Owners thereof and it is intollerable Vanity their valuing of themselves thereupon 24. Anger is almost always the effect of Pride and as you respect Soul or Body strive against it surely it is at no time advantagious and the folly thereof when the Cloud it procures is taken off our Reason is obvious to any that hath the use of Reason we ought truly to be angry at nothing but sin for Anger is fitly called Madness and Fury and Bruitishness arise from it I think you need only behold the Actions of any person inflamed with Anger to satisfy you of the truth of all that Tongue or Pen can express against it you may from Scripture be fully satisfied of its being exceeding sinful you will find it dehorted and the folly thereof held forth Eccles 7.9 Be not hasty in spirit to be angry for anger resteth in the bosom of fools And Psal 37.8 Cease from anger and forsake wrath fret not thy self in any ways to do evil How often are we angry when there is no cause and when our Corruption may be stirred up to that Passion We are told Prov. 19.11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger and it is his glory to pass over a transgression And in Prov. 14.17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly and in vers 29. He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly 25. Endeavour in all your Conversation such a meek and peaceable deportment as becomes a Christian which will even from these that are much otherwise disposed procure you an advantagious Testimony and the advantage to your self will be so great as is hardly expressible for as Pride and Anger clouds Reason and discomposeth from proceeding rationally either in thinking or doing so meekness of Temper leaves you at full liberty to use all your Reason and will even procure compassion from others if your Ignorance or Corruption should bring you under any inconvenience and the benefite thereof is clearly holden forth from Scripture where it hath the promise of temporal Blessings as in Psal 37.11 But the meek shall inherit the earth and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace Yea it hath the promise of Eternal Life Psal 149.4 For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people he will beautify the meek with salvation And in Mat. 11.29 We have the blessed Example of our Lovely Saviour where he says learn of me for I am meek and lowly of heart and ye shall find rest unto your souls 26. Beware of Envy as what hath nothing in it but what is to be hated for as it is hurtful and intolerable burdensome even to those who entertain it so it is altogether inconsistent with Society and the Rules of Christianity Yea the envious person doth directly wage War with God and repines at all his Dispensations to the advantage of others and certainly these persons must be miserable whose Sorrows arise from the satisfaction of the Publick and whose happiness proceeds from the misery of those of their Acquaintance Covetousness is an Evil against all reason and is to be hated because of the sordid baseness that attendeth it how bruitishly foolish are the ways of the Covetous And they being the delight of the Wicked God hateth them as the Psalmist doth well express in Psal 10.3 For the wicked boasteth of his hearts desire and blesseth the covetous whom the Lord abhorreth Yea the Holy Ghost holds it forth to be Idolatry Eph. 5.5 For this ye know that no covetous man who is an Idolater hath any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God And in vers 3. he urgeth it may not so much as be named among Christians Yet would you make conscience of living frugally and whatever Station you are in and Profession you follow let Vertue and Industry be your Guides and not Pleasure and Idleness Undertake nothing without your Sphere or above your Capacity and let all your Ends and the means whereby you intend to come to them be just and honest in the sight of God and man Be content with