the aduice to the Queene 1. It is mystically to be taken 2. If it should be literally taken it is to be taken as giuen to her after mariage when she was out of her parents gouernment 3. It hath relation to the law of mariage â—nd implieth not a simple forsaking of parents but a preferring of a husband before them 4. For the louing of father and mother more then Christ 〈◊〉 It doth not necessarily imply a forsaking of our parents â—or we may loue Christ more then them and yet performe â—uty to them 2. If they be forsaken it must be in opposition to Christ that either Christ or they must be forsaken in that if we cleaue to them they will draw vs from Christ 5. For Christs forbidding one that followed him to goe and burie his father 1. It was because of an extraordinary calling which he had 2. It is set downe as a patterne to Ministers to shew that they should especially attend vpon their proper function and leaue other secular matters to be performed by such as can performe them well enough To apply it to childrens forsaking of parents is to peruert the sense of it Thus we see to how little purpose the forenamed arguments are alledged to proue that erronious opinion of childrens entring into religious orders without their parents consent I might further shew how irreligious their pretended religious orders be and so shew how vnlawfull it is to enter into them euen with consent of parents but that maketh nothing to the point in hand §. 15. Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens trauelling and binding themselues prentises without consent of parents Contrary also to the forenamed part of childrens obedience is the practise of such children as trauell and seeke their fortunes as they speake without consent of parents like the Prodigall childe if not worse for it is likely that he forced from his father a generall consent in that he obtained of him his portion of goods These vsually bring great griefe to their parents and many times make them feare more then is cause as old Iaakob feared when he knew not what was become of his sonne Among those aberrations may be reckoned a custome in this land more vsuall then lawfull for children to binde themselues prentises without consent of parents to which fault they who take indentures of such children or otherwise couenant with them without knowledge of their parents consent make themselues accessary §. 16. Of parents consent to the mariage of their children II. That children ought to haue their parents consent vnto their mariage is without all question euident For 1. God himselfe hath giuen vs herein a patterne He first brought the woman to the man Gen. 2. 22. whereby he would shew that he who gaue a being to the woman had a right to dispose her in mariage which right parents now haue for from them vnder God children receiue their being In this case parents stand in Gods roome and are as it were Gods hand to ioyne their children in mariage 2. God hath giuen expresse lawes concerning this point To omit that generall morall law Honour thy father and thy mother which as it is the ground of all other duties appertaining to children so of this also the authoritie and charge which God by his law Deut. 7. 3 hath laid vpon parents to giue their daughters to husbands and to take wiues for their sonnes hath the force of a law to binde children from taking wiues or husbands without or against their parents consent This law was not proper to the Iewes only but as a branch of the morall law it is pressed vpon Christians 1 Cor. 7. 36. 37. To this may be added the iudiciall law if it be to be accounted meerely iudiciall of a parents power in giuing his daughter or refusing to giue her in mariage to him that had defloured her Exo. 22. 17. 3. Answerable to the law hath beene the practise of Gods Saints recorded and approued in Scripture Isaak married the wife which his father prouided Gen. 24. 67. Iaakob both obeyed his father in going to Labans house for a wife Gen. 28. 2. and also when he came to Laban asked his daughter of him Gen. 29. 18. c. Though Sampson saw a daughter of the Philistims which pleased him well yet would he not marry her before he had his parents consent Iudg. 14. 2. 4. These words of Thamar 2 Sam. 13. 13. Speake vnto the King who was her father for he will not with-hold thee from me shew that children were not wont to be married without consent of parents Which is further confirmed by this oath of the Israelites There shall not any of vs giue his daughter vnto Beniamin to wife Iudg. 21. 1. 5. The ancient fathers of the Church haue in their ages taught children this duty and pronounced mariages of children without consent of parents to be vnlawfull 6. The very heathen haue obserued the equity hereof Though Shechem loued Dinah and had defloured her yet would he not mary her without the consent of his and her father Gen. 34 3. c. Ismael had learned as much either by the instruction he had receiued out of Abrahams house or else by the light of nature for he stood to the choice which his mother made for him Gen. 21. 21. 7. Though Papists in other cases make the authority of parents to be of no effect yet in this case they count it vtterly vnlawfull for children to marry without or against their parents consent and haue thereupon made Canons against it 8. The law of nature and nations the ciuill and canon law the common and statute law of our Land all manner of law is agreeable to Gods law in this point 9. It hath beene a custome in all Christian Churches throughout all ages for the parent or some in the parents roome to giue the Bride to the Bridegroome at the time of the mariage whereby the parents consent is openly manifested 10. Many Diuines of good note and name haue iudged such marriages as haue beene made simply without or directly against parents consent especially if parents haue iust cause of exception against those mariages to be of no force till the parent be brought to ratifie them and in many Churches vpon due examination of the matter they vse to account them as no mariages Experience hath manifested the boldnesse of many children in setting light by their parents consent in those places where mariages once consummated are ratified and made indissoluble though they haue beene made simply without or directly against parents consent Many children thinke though it be vnlawfully done yet being done it shall stand Whereupon if they doubt of their parents consent they will cast how to get their mariage consummate so as their parents may not know of it to hinder it before it is done and after it is done impudently resolue to beare out as
are the inheritance of the Lord the Lord hath giuen them to parents as an inheritance a childe therefore may no more marry for himselfe without consent of parents then alienate his parents goods for himselfe §. 21. Of stealing children from parents for mariage sake To the forenamed sinne and to the vengeance thereof doe they make themselues accessary who fraudulently allure or violently take away children to marry them otherwise then their parents would This is a worse kinde of felony then stealing away the goods of a man For children are much more properly a mans owne then his goods and dearer to him then any goods can be yea and so much more highly to be esteemed by how much reasonable creatures are to be preferred before senselesse and sensuall things Our statute law expresly condemneth this and imposeth a seuere punishment on such as shall offend therein And iustly doe such offenders deserue to be seuerely punished both in regard of the heinousnesse of the sinne and also in regard of the many mischiefes which follow thereon as Alienation of parents affection from their children Disinheriting heires Enmity betwixt the friends of each party so married Litigious suits in law Ruine of families and if the personages whose children are married without their parents consent be great and noble Disturbance of whole townes cities and nations Instance the destruction of the Shechemites Gen. 34. This is said to haue beene the cause of the tenne yeares warre betwixt the Grecians and Troianes and of the ruine of Troy §. 22. Of ministers sinne in marying children without parents consent Such ministers also as through Carelesnesse not taking due account of the parties whom they marie whether they haue their parents consent or no or through bribery being hired by reward doe marie such children as they know haue not their parents consent doe in an high degree make themselues accessary to the forenamed sinne Their fact is as bad as the fact of the principals themselues Their solemnization of such mariages emboldneth both the parties that are so maried and also all the persons that are present thereat They highly dishonour Gods holy ordinance in that bearing the person of God they say of such as God hath forbidden to be so ioyned together Those whom God hath ioyned together let no man put asunder If ministers had not their hand in such vnlawfull mariages they could not be made for our Church ratifieth no mariage but what is made by a minister Wherefore some minister or other is guilty of this foule sinne whensoeuer any childe is maried without consent of parents Well therefore doth our Church to preuent this sinne expresly forbid ministers to marie any without parents consent and inflict a seuere censure on them that shall offend therein §. 23. Of childrens forbearing to dispose any of their parents goods without consent A third branch of the subiection of children in forbearing to doe any thing without their parents consent is about their parents goods That children though liuing in their parents house ought not without their parents consent to dispose their goods is euident by the extent of their obedience in all things In that Isaak was pleased to send Iaakob to Padan Aram without any great prouision it seemeth that Iaakob made conscience of taking any thing priuily but went as his father sent him with his staffe And the apology which he made to Laban his father in law concerning things taken away sheweth that he held it vnlawfull for children priuily to conuey â—way their parents goods What is my trespasse what is my sinne saith he what hast thou found of all my houshold-stuffe Doth he not hereby imply that if Labans daughters had â—aken away any of their fathers goods it had beene a trespasse â—nd sinne The Apostle saith of the heire who of all the children may seeme to haue the greatest right that as long as he is a childe that is vnder the gouernment of his parents he differeth nothing from a seruant though he be Lord of all If he differ not from a seruant what right can he haue at his pleasure to dispose his parents goods Hath a seruant any such right It is very requisite that children herein should be tied to their parents consent both for the good of parents and of children themselues Of parents that they may know what they haue or haue not and accordingly order their expences How can parents tell what they haue if children priuily without their knowledge purloin and dispose their goods Of children that their lauish humor might by this meanes be restrained for youth is much prone beyond moderation to spend if it haue wherewithall and that their parents may the better lay vp for them §. 24. Of the sinne of children in purloining and wasting their parents goods Contrary is both the opinion and practise of many children For opinion many thinke and say that whatsoeuer is their parents is theirs also and thereupon being through the watchfull eie and prouident care of their parents restrained from ouerlauish spending or from laying out any thing with their owne hands they murmure against that restraint Knowledge and perswasion of their subiection in this case would be a good meanes to suppresse that repining humour For practise 1. Some priuily take away and purloine what goods money wares or any thing else they can come by of their parents This the holy Ghost accounteth plaine theft for Rachel hauing priuily taken away her fathers idolls the Scripture saith that she stole them Hereunto doe they make themselues accessary who counsell and incourage children so to doe as many busibodies and deceitfull persons aduise daughters when God hath taken away their mothers to take away linnen and other-like houshold-stuffe from their father pretending that their father may marie another wife who will carrie all away And vpon like pretence also perswade sons when their fathers die to conuey away what they can from their mother But such pretences are no sufficient warrant vnto children to deceiue their parents It were better for children to be depriued of their parents goods then to enioy them with such deceit for they will be like that bread which is sweet to a man and afterward his mouth is filled with grauell 2. Others riotously spend their portion like the prodigall childe and runne into debt and so make their parents either to pay it or to leaue them to the law Many Schollers at the Vniuersities Gentlemen at Innes of Court and such children as are somewhat liberally trained vp in their parents or other friends houses doe much offend herein Little doth this excesse and riot differ from the forenamed kinde of theft and ordinarily it bringeth as many mischiefes as that doth 3. Some also be so vngracious and vngratefull that being come to yeeres and their parents growne old seeke to defeat their parents of all they haue and
that fathers can endure therein Their fault therefore must needs be the greater if any way they be an occasion of their childes putting forth to nurse which I haue the rather noted because husbands for the most part are the cause that their wiues nurse not their owne children and that partly by suffering and partly by egging them on to put out their children If husbands were willing that their wiues should performe this dutie and would perswade and incourage them thereto and afford them what helpes they could where one mother now nurseth her childe twenty would doe it §. 17. Of parents ioynt care about their childrens Baptisme There is a further dutie to be performed of parents to their children euen in their infancy and that is in regard of their spirituall good which is this Parents ought to procure that their children be rightly baptized in due season This is indeed a common dutie appertaining to both parents but most principally to the father and that for two reasons 1. The father is the chiefe and principall Gouernour and hath the greatest charge accordingly he ought to haue the greatest care euen in such matters as are common to both 2. The mother at that time by reason of her trauell and deliuery is weake and not in case to haue her head much troubled with many cares much lesse able her selfe to take order for such weighty matters Only the husband is to make knowne to his wife if she be not extraordinarily weake what his purpose is concerning the place time manner and other like circumstances of baptizing the childe and to aduise with her about the name witnesses and such like points And if the husband be too backward and negligent the wife ought so farre as she is able to put him in minde of his dutie therein and to stirre him vp by her selfe or some other to performe it §. 18. Of the reasons to moue parents to see their children baptized That parents are bound to procure Baptisme for their children these reasons declare 1. The commandement of God concerning circumcising â—hildren in the roome whereof Baptisme succeedeth now â—nder the Gospell Col. 2. 11 12. Gods commandement to â—his dutie was first giuen to Abraham and that for himselfe â—nd all his posterity to obserue Gen. 17. 10. After this it was â—n the law laid downe as a positiue statute Leu. 12. 3. 2. The practise of the Iewes in a faithfull and constant obâ—â—ruance of this ordinance as of Abraham of Zachary and â—lizabeth of Ioseph and Mary and many others Obiect The children which were borne in the wildernesse were not circumcised Answ They had no abiding place in the wildernesse but were euer and anon remouing so as it would haue beene dangerous for the children to haue beene circumcised in that extraordinary case this rule tooke place I will haue mercy and not sacrifice 3. The practise of Christians who beleeuing were themselues and their whole houshold baptized Vnder whole houshold children must needs be comprised 4. Christs embracing and blessing such children as were brought to him and rebuking those that would haue kept them from him 5. The promise of God made to them for seeing God is so gratious as to extend his promise to our children our care must be to procure the seale which God offereth for the confirmation of that promise 6. The right they haue to Gods Kingdome Baptisme is an euidence of that their right It is parents duty to get them that euidence If children haue iust title to any lands and reuenues or to any earthly honours and dignities parents will doe what they can to make that title sure vnto them euen in their infancy much more carefull should they be to make that rich and glorious inheritance which is in heauen reserued for them as sure vnto them as they can now no better meanes for the effecting of this then Baptisme 7. Their conception and birth in sinne Children drew contagion from their parents therefore great reason it is that their parents should see them washed with the water of regeneration 8. The comfort which from the performance of this dutie will arise to Christian parents yea and to the children also themselues when they come to the age of vnderstanding When parents behold the couenant of God surely sealed and confirmed to their children they cannot if at least they beare any loue to their children but much reioyce therein And it must needs also much comfort the childe when being of vnderstanding he shall know that from his infancy he hath caried the seale and pledge of his regeneration 9. The constant continued custome of the true catholicke Church which euer since the Apostles time hath afforded the sacrament of baptisme to children §. 19. Of Parents procuring their children to be rightly baptized There being such forceable motiues to stirre vp parents to performe the dutie which motiues shew it to be a weightie dutie I will further shew how this dutie ought to be performed Two things in childrens baptisme ought to be obserued 1. That it be rightly done 2. That it be seasonably done In the right performance thereof some things are necessarie and some expedient Things of necessitie are these especially 1. That the childe be baptized by a Minister of the word 2. That it be baptized with the element of water the only element sanctified to this purpose 3. That the forme prescribed by Christ Matth. 28. 19. be vsed In the name of the Father and of the Sonne and of the Holy Ghost whereby the vnitie of the Godhead and trinitie of Persons is plainly set forth 4. That the proper rite be vsed of applying the water to the bodie of the childe so as at least the face of the childe may be sprinkled therewith Things of expediencie are 1. That the childe be baptized in a publike place where Gods people ordinarily meet together being set apart for the worship and seruice of God 2. That such a time be chosen out as an assembly of Saints may be there present These two circumstances are the rather to be obserued because Baptisme is one of the solemne parts of Gods publike worship a pledge of our incorporation into the bodie of Christ and communion of his Saints and therefore with the more solemnitie as a matter of great moment before many witnesses with the assistance of the faithfull prayers of an assembly of Saints to be performed §. 20. Of Parents care to giue a fit name to their childe at his Baptisme A third matter of great expediencie about a childs baptisme is that Parents be carefull in giuing a fit name It belongeth to Parents to giue the name to their childe for so holy parents whose patterne in Scripture is in this respect commended vnto vs haue done from time to time and for their warrant to doe it it is worthy to be noted that when God was pleased to appoint a name to a
childe he gaue in charge to the Parent so to name him saying to him Thou shalt call his name thus and thus It is also euident that the time of Baptisme is the fittest time for giuing the name Vnder the Law childrens names were giuen at their Circumcision and so vnder the Gospell it hath in all ages beene vsed and that for these reasons 1. That their names may be a testimonie of their baptisme 2. That so oft as they heare their names they may be put in minde of their baptisme 3. That they might know how by name they are giuen to Christ to be his souldiers and therefore there must be no starting from him 4. That they may also be assured that being baptized with water and the spirit by name they are registred in heauen Now because names are so solemnly giuen and of so good vse most meet it is that fit names should be giuen to children And for proofe hereof let the names which in Scripture are recorded to be giuen by God himselfe and by such holy men and women as were guided by his spirit be obserued and we shall finde them to be holy sober and fit names For direction to parents in this dutie I will set downe some sorts and kinds of names as be fit and beseeming Christians 1. Names which haue some good signification and among them such as are warranted by the Scripture as Iohn the grace of God Ionathan the gift of God Andrew manly Clement meeke Simeon obedient Hannah gratious Prudens wise and such like that thus their name may stirre them vp to labour after the vertue signified thereby 2. Names which haue in times before vs beene giuen to persons of good note whose life is worthy our imitation as Isaak Dauid Peter Marie Elizabeth and such like that the names may moue them to imitate those worthies 3. Names of our owne ancestors and predecessors to preserue a memorie of the familie which appeareth to haue beene an ancient practise euen among Gods people in that the friends would haue had Zachariahs sonne named Zachariah and when the mother had iust cause to name him Iohn they answer none of thy kindred is called by this name 4. Vsuall names of the country which custome hath made familiar as Henry Edward Robert William and such like among vs. §. 21. Of Parents care in bringing their children to be baptized in due season Though Christians are not so strictly tied to a set day as the Iewes were to the eight day yet from that strict direction giuen to the Iewes we may well gather that it is not meet for Christians to defer the baptizing of their children beyond eight dayes for a young childe of that age may with more ease and lesse danger be baptized then circumcised The most seasonable time I take to be the day whereon Gods people vse in the place where the childe is borne publikely to assemble together to worship God next after the birth of the child if at least it fall not out within two or three dayes after which is somewhat with the soonest both for mother and childe Whether we respect the honour of God the riches of whose mercy is liuely set forth in the sacrament of baptisme or the good of our childe which in that sacrament receiueth a pledge and seale of that rich mercy of God Baptisme is of great consequence and therefore the first season of performing it to be taken For parents by their diligence and due speed therein giue euidence both of their zeale to Gods glory and also of their earnest desire of the childs spirituall good §. 22. Of Parents faults in neglecting their childrens Baptisme Contrary to the forenamed dutie of Parents about well baptizing their children are many aberrations as 1. The corrupt opinion of Anabaptists who denie the lawfulnesse of baptizing children The arguments before noted are sufficient to stop their mouthes 2. The practise of Separatists comming too neere to Anabaptisme who excepting against the ministerie and orders of our Church doe what they can to keepe their children from that Sacrament And to that end carry their wiues ready to be deliuered vnto a strange place where they are not knowne and anon after they are deliuered priuily conuey wife childe and all away that so the Magistrate may not against their will cause their childe to be baptized and hauing no ministerie of their owne nor meanes to conuey the childe ouer sea keepe it many yeeres vnbaptized Where is the euidence of their faith in Gods promise of their respect to Gods ordinance and of their desire of their childs spirituall good Though it be a great wrong to children to be kept from baptisme yet the sinne lieth on such parents as procure not baptisme for their children especially at that age when their children cannot gainsay it 3. The peruerse opinion and practise of certaine ancient heretikes who in stead of baptizing children with water had them branded with an hot iron They grounded their error on a false interpretation of this phrase he shall baptize with the Holy Ghost and with fire Answ 1. They erre in taking this word fire literally and properly which was meant mystically and metaphorically 2. They erre in applying that to the outward action of a Minister which was meant of the inward operation of Christ By this their misinterpretation they thwart the maine scope of him who first vsed that phrase which was to manifest the difference betwixt all other Ministers and Christ Iesus 4. The opinion and practise of those who vse other formes of Baptisme besides this In the name of the Father and of the Sonne and of the Holy Ghost Their opinion and practise is grounded on certaine concise phrases vsed by the Apostles such as these Baptized in the name of Iesus Christ In the name of the Lord In the name of the Lord Iesus c. Answ Those phrases rather set forth the very substance and inward matter of Baptisme then the forme thereof 5. Their opinion and practise who care not by whom their children are baptized whether heretiques idolaters laicks or women Little doe they regard the comfort of conscience and strength of faith that ariseth from this that a lawfull Minister in Gods roome and name as Gods ambassador putteth the seale of God to his couenant 6. The practise of those as I know not vpon what nicenesse or state must haue their children baptized at home in their priuate house This manner of baptising taketh away much from the honour of that high ordinance which ought to be done with all the seemly solemnitie that may be 7. Their practise who bring their childe to Church to be baptised accompanied only with the Midwife and three witnesses It were almost as good be baptised in a priuate house for it is not the walls of the Church but the assembly of Saints that addeth to the honour of the Sacrament and is most of all
which of all other things will make the childe most obedient and gratefull to his parents for thus there is a double bond to binde him 1. his birth 2. his new birth especially when the cause of the one hath beene also the cause of the other 7. Nothing can more settle the heart of a wise parent on his death-bed concerning his children then assurance that pietie is planted in them for then may he with stronger confidence commend them to Gods prouidence and with greater assurance expect his blessing vpon them after he is dead 8. Parents by teaching their children pietie are an especiall meanes of propagating true religion from age to age and from generation to generation No better meanes can be thought of For if all parents were carefull of their dutie in this kinde as there is a succession of children and thereby a preseruation of mankinde so there would be a succession of those that feare God and thereby a preseruation of true religion My children that are taught by me may be fathers of children and so teach that to their children which they haue learned of me yea after them may grand-children proue fathers of other children and they teach their children the same and so from age to age others after them This is the meanes on our part and in our time we must doe our part and for those who come after vs leaue the issue to God Not only the great benefit of this point but also the too much neglect thereof in most families hath moued me the longer to insist on it and the more forcibly to presse it For the better performing thereof I will adde some directions §. 35. Of directing parents how to teach their children true pietie 1. Whatsoeuer principle of pietie parents doe teach their children they must be sure that it be grounded on Gods word thus much this phrase admonition of the Lord implieth Thus shall parents be sure to feed them with good wholesome spirituall food such as shall make to their spirituall nourishment and eternall life In this respect principles of religion grounded on Gods word are called sound or wholsome or healthfull words and that both in regard of their matter and substance and also in regard of their effect they cause and preserue good sound spirituall health We know that naturall men haue a care to giue their children such food as is wholsome for their bodie for will a father that is euill giue his childe a stone or a serpent and not that which is good Conscience must moue religious parents to haue the like care of the soules of their children as nature teacheth all parents to haue of their bodies If parents be carefull to draw those principles wherein they instruct their children out of Gods word they shall be sure not to poyson their soules with any error heresie superstition or idolatrie 2. When children begin to read let them read the holy Scripture so was Timothie trained vp from a childe 2 Tim. 3. 15. Thus will children sucke in religion with learning for there is a secret vertue lurking in the holy Scripture which is Gods owne word more then in any bookes of men so as through Gods blessing there may by this meanes be an inward worke of grace in children euen in their young yeeres Besides no bookes are more easie then many parts of Scripture and no histories more admirable and delightfull then the histories of the Scripture It is the aduice of an ancient Father that young children be made acquainted with the words and names of holy Scripture and that in stead of tales and fables choice histories of the Bible be made knowne to them and that they be instructed in the Prouerbs of Solomon 3. Let children be catechised constantly from day to day rehearse them continually vnto thy children saith the Law That which is daily done is in Scripture said to be done continually as the sacrifice which was daily offered was called a continuall offering Here let this caueat be noted that in giuing this spirituall food parents deale with their children as skilfull nurses and mothers doe in feeding infants they will not at once cram more into their mouthes then their stomach is able to digest but they will rather oft feed them with a little so it is not meet that parents be too tedious that will but dull a childs vnderstanding and breed wearisomnesse and make it loath to be againe instructed but precept vpon precept precept vpon precept line vpon line line vpon line here a little and there a little Thus shall they learne with case and delight and this being oft performed in time a great measure of knowledge will be gained thereby If a vessell haue a little mouth we vse not to fill it by powring whole paile-fuls vpon it for so all may be spilt and it receiue little or nothing but we let the liquor fall in by little and little according to the capacitie of the mouth so is nothing lost and the vessell filled the sooner Thus are children to be dealt withall 4. To the set times of catechizing children let other occasions of teaching them pietie be added as at table by resembling the spirituall food of their soules to that corporall food whereby their bodies are nourished when they are walking abroad by shewing them the starres how they remaine stedfast in their course the trees how they bring forth fruit in their season how all things are for the vse and benefit of man and thereupon make spirituall vses note the direction which for this purpose the Law giueth to parents Thou shall talke to thy children of my words when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest downe and when thou risest vp 5. Let parents open to their children the mysteries of those outward rites which God hath ordained in his Church as of Preaching Baptising children administring the Lords Supper ceasing from worke on the Lords day with the like This was expresly commanded vnder the law Visible rites are great helpes to the weake vnderstanding of children when they are plainly opened and applied yea they are also especiall meanes of keeping in memory the mysteries contained vnder them as course threds or wiars are meanes to preserue pearles put vpon them So oft as they see the rites they will be put in minde of the mysteries implied vnder them 6. To this may be referred a declaration of such great and admirable workes as God in former times hath done for his Church especially such workes as haue beene done in their time and if any memorials be remaining of them make them knowne to children This direction was also giuen vnder the law concerning the monuments which were set vp of the great deliuerances that God gaue to his people In particular when the day of the gunpowder-treason is solemnized parents ought to teach their children the occasion
children as towards his eldest sonne and heire and yet may he bestow the greatest patrimony vpon the heire which is no partialitie 2. Quest Is it then iust and equall that the eldest sonne should haue a greater patrimony then any of the rest Answ It is most iust and equall For 1. God hath so appointed it yea he made this to be one of the prerogatiues of the first-borne to haue a double portion Vpon this ground Ioseph who was the first-borne of the true wife had a double portion and as a testimony thereof his posteritie made two tribes 2. The lawes of all nations doe order as much 3. Our law giueth the whole inheritance of freeholds to the eldest sonne in which respect it is due vnto him For in ciuill and temporall matters this rule is true we liue by law I take it to be a matter of conscience for a parent to leaue that to euery childe which by law is due to him Neither is it without good reason that the law ordaineth that a parents whole estate of freehold land should descend for 1. There is an excellency in the first borne as is euident by Iaakobs speech to his eldest sonne thou art my first borne my might and the beginning of my strength the excellency of dignity and the excellency of power And thereupon God tooke the first borne as peculiar to himselfe 2. Houses and families by this meanes are vpheld and continued from age to age How needfull it is for the establishment of a commonwealth that families should thus be continued is euident both by experience to all such as haue but halfe an eie to see wherein the stability of a common wealth consisteth and also by the many lawes which God ordained among the Iewes for this purpose as 1. That no land should be quite cut off from a family 2. That if any through pouerty were forced to sell his land the next of kin was to buy it 3. That if a man that had sold his land could by no meanes redeeme it againe at the yeere of Iubilee he was to haue the possession of it againe 4. That if daughters were heires they should not marry out of their fathers tribe and this reason is giuen that euery man may enioy the inheritance of his fathers Obiect By leauing the whole inheritance to the eldest he may be made a Gentleman and all the other beggars Answ In this respect parents ought to be so much the more prouident for their other children in training them vp to callings or laying vp portions or setling other estates vpon them beside the maine inheritance or in taking order that compâ—ent portions be raised out of the inheritance of the eldest son â—n case God take them away before they haue otherwise proâ—ided for their children Out of this answer may a third reason be gathered to shew that it is a behouefull law for the commonwealth that the heire should haue all the land For this law maketh parents more carefull in training vp their younger sonnes to sundry callings which are profitable to a commonwealth If euery childe should haue a part of his fathers lands they would all so depend thereupon as none of them would exercise themselues to such callings as are meanes of mens maintenance §. 69. Of parents partiality towards some children Contrary to the forenamed duty of a parents equall respect to all his children is partiality in fathers and mothers manifested sundry waies For 1. Many parents haue their darling children to whom so much affection is shewed as in comparison none is shewed to others When some are hugged in the bosome others are neglected as if they were none of their owne but basely borne The vnnaturalnesse of the eagle is noted in this kinde that she flaps and driues out of the nest one of her young ones and feedeth only the other as her owne From such partiality in parents proceed many mischiefes as these 1. They giue occasion to such as obserue it to suspect that those children who are so little respected are none of their owne 2. They cause enuy malice and much contention to arise among children When Iosephs brethren saw that their father loued him more then all them they hated him and could not speake peaceably vnto him 3. They prouoke God to inflict some iudgement on those children that are so cockered and preferred before the rest that so they may the better see their folly This sinne of parents partiality is so much the greater when vpon outward respects they preferre the wicked and vngodly children before pious and gracious children Isaak herein much failed for he loued Esau a profane wretch because he did eat of his Venison 2. Other parents so set themselues to raise their house as aâ— their care is to aduance their eldest sonne by education by liberall allowance and by leauing all they haue to him and iâ— the meane while neglect their younger children Though as was noted before the maine inheritance may iustly without shew of partiality be left to the heire yet to be carefull only for him and to neglect the other sauoureth ranke of partiality It is most agreeable to naturall reason that as life is giuen to all children so meanes of maintaining life should be giuen to all 3. In the number of partiall parents may they be reckoned who vniustly disinherit their first borne For the inheritance of right belonging to them and they not deseruing to be disinherited assuredly it is some by respect or other which maketh parents prefer the younger before the elder and this is plaine partiality This kinde of partiality is commonly in such parents as haue had children by seuerall wiues Sometimes dislike of a former wife maketh a father dislike the children he hath by her and through dislike to disinherit the heire by her God gaue the Iewes an expresse law against this kinde of partiality Sometimes againe a gripulous seeking of aduantage to themselues maketh parents to disinherit the right heire as when a man after he hath buried the mother of his first borne hearing of another woman which is of great wealth maketh sute for her She refuseth because he hath an heire of a former wife He to remoue that blocke entereth couenant to make the sonne which he hath by her if he haue any his heire hereupon the mariage is consummate his second wife bringeth forth a sonne he for his couenant sake disinheriteth the first heire An vniust and vnlawfull practise §. 70. Of the causes for which the first-borne may be disinherited Quest May not then a first-borne sonne be disinherited Answ Yes The Scripture noteth two causes wherein the first-borne may be put from the inheritance 1. If he be illegitimate for such an one hath no good title The sonne of the bondwoman shall not be heire with my sonne saith Sarah and that iustly To like purpose say the sons of Gileads
Of parents making a will before they die 570 63 Of neglecting to make a will 571 64 Of parents leauing their estate to their children when they die 572 65 Of the inconueniences which improuident parents bring their children vnto after their death 573 66 Of parents impartiall respect to all their children 575 67 Of parents preferring a dutifull childe before a disobedient childe 576 68 Of the prerogatiue of the first borne sonne 576 69 Of parents partiality towards some children 578 70 Of the causes for which the first borne may be disinherited 579 71 Of the dutie of fathers and mothers in law 580 72 Of the peruerse carriage of fathers and mothers in law to their children 581 73 Of the faults of parents to their childrens husbands and wiues 582 74 Of their duty who are in stead of parents to orphants 583 75 Of the common neglect of orphants 584 76 Of the duty of guardians 584 77 Of the fraud of guardians 585 78 Of the duties of Schoolemasters and Tutors 586 79 Of the negligence of Schoolemasters and Tutors 587 VII TREATISE Of Seruants Duties § 1. A Resolution of the Apostles direction to seruants 589 2 Of the lawfulnesse of a masters place and power 591 3 Of the Anabaptists arguments against the authority of masters and subiection of seruants 592 4 Of a seruants feare of his master 594 5 Of the extremes contrary to seruants feare of their master 595 6 Of seruants reuerence in speech 596 7 Of the vices contrary to a seruants reuerance in speech 599 8 Of seruants reuerend behauiour to their masters 601 9 Of the faults of seruants contrary to reuerence in carriage 602 10 Of seruants obedience 603 11 Of seruants forbearing to doe things without their masters consent 604 12 Of the vnlawfull liberty which seruants take to themselues 606 13 Of seruants obedience to their masters commandements 608 14 Of seruants hearkning to their masters instructions in matters of their calling 608 15 Of seruants hearkning to their masters instructions in piety 609 16 Of seruants faults contrary to obedience in matters of religion 610 17 Of seruants obedience to reproofe and correction 611 18 Of the extremes contrary to seruants patient hearing of reproofe and correction 613 19 Of seruants amending that for which they are iustly reproued or corrected 614 20 Of seruing with trembling 615 21 Of seruing with sincerity 616 22 Of seruing for conscience sake 617 23 Of seruants willingnesse to performe their dutie 618 24 Of seruants quicknesse and diligence in their seruice 619 25 Of seruants faithfulnesse 622 26 Of seruants faithfulnesse about their masters goods 623 27 Of seruants carelesnesse ouer their masters goods 624 28 Of seruants fraud 625 29 Of seruants faithfulnesse in the businesses which they are to dispatch for their masters 626 30 Of seruants faithfulnesse in keeping their masters secrets and concealing their infirmities 628 31 Of seruants faithfulnesse in helping one another 629 32 Of seruants faithfulnesse about their masters children 630 33 Of seruants faithfulnesse in regard of their masters or mistresses bed-fellow 632 34 Of seruants faithfulnesse about their masters person 633 35 Of the meanes to make seruants faithfull 634 36 Of seruants endeuour to make their iudgements agree with their masters 635 37 Of seruants yeelding to doe such things at their masters command as they cannot thinke to be most meet 636 38 Of seruants forbearing to obey their master against God 637 39 Of seruants choosing good masters 639 40 Of the first motiue to enforce seruants duties The Place of Masters 641 41 Of the second motiue The Place of Seruants 642 42 Of the third motiue Gods will 642 43 Of the fourth motiue Reward of good seruice 643 VII TREATISE Of Masters duties § 1. OF the heads of masters duties 646 2 Of masters choosing good seruants 647 3 Of masters carelesnesse in choosing seruants 649 4 Of masters maintaining their authority 650 5 Of masters making their authority to be despised 651 6 Of masters too great rigor 652 7 Of masters commanding power restrained to things lawfull 653 8 Of masters presuming aboue their authority 654 9 Of masters commanding seruants to doe their dutie 655 10 Of the sinne of masters in suffering seruants to neglect their dutie 656 11 Of a masters wisdome in ordering things indifferent 656 12 Of masters offence against expediency 657 13 Of the power of masters to correct their seruants 658 14 Of the restraint of masters power that it reacheth not to their seruants life 659 15 Of masters excesse in correcting seruants 660 16 Of masters ordering that correction which they giue to their seruants 661 17 Of masters power ouer their seruants in and about their mariage 662 18 Of masters rigor in forcing mariages vpon their seruants or in seperating man and wife 664 19 Of masters power to dispose their seruants person 664 20 Of masters well managing their authority 665 21 Of masters endeuouring the saluation of their seruants 666 22 Of masters neglecting to edifie their seruants 668 23 Of allowing seruants sufficient food 668 24 Of defect and excesse in allowing seruants food 669 25 Of masters care about their seruants apparell 670 26 Of moderating seruants labour 671 27 Of affording seruants fit means for their worke 672 28 Of affording seasonable rest to seruants 672 29 Of denying seasonable rest to seruants 673 30 Of masters offence in keeping seruants from the rest of the Lords day 674 31 Of allowing time of recreation to seruants 675 32 Of masters care ouer their seruants in sicknesse and after death 675 33 Of neglect of seruants in sicknesse and after they are dead 677 34 Of masters prouiding for the future estate of their seruants 678 35 Of well imploying seruants 679 36 Of exercising seruants to a calling 679 37 Of appointing to euery seruant his particular function 681 38 Of disorders in families through masters negligence 682 39 Of masters ouerseeing the waies of their seruants 682 40 Of prouoking seruants to their duty both by faire and soule meanes 683 41 Of paying seruants their wages 684 42 Of masters iustice about their seruants wages 685 43 Of suffering seruants to prouide for themselues 686 44 Of kindnesse to be shewed to good seruants 686 45 Of vnkinde dealing with good seruants 688 46 Of the subiection vnder which masters are 689 47 Of the equality betwixt masters and seruants in relation to God 691 48 Of Gods being in heauen how it is a motiue to prouoke masters well to respect their seruants 691 49 Of Gods impartiall respect of all 693 The first Treatise AN EXPOSITION OF THAT PART OF SCRIPTVRE out of which Domesticall Duties are raised EPHES. 5. 21. Submit your selues one to another in the feare of God §. 1. Of the Apostles transition from generall duties to particulars AS there are two vocations whereunto it hath pleased God to call euery one one Generall by vertue whereof certaine common duties which are to be performed of all men
time appointed of the Lord it may be said that by vsing such and such meanes we prolong our daies or by doing such and such things we shorten them Now because these meanes only shew them to be long or short Gods decree remaineth firme and stable and is not altred thereby yet this worke of lengthening or shortning is attributed to vs because we doe what lieth in vs thereto and that freely without any compulsion For Gods decree though it cause a necessitie in the euent yet it imposeth no constraint on the will of man but leaueth it as free in regard of the manner of working as if there were no decree at all And herein Gods admirable wisdome is manifested that notwithstanding his determined purpose of matters man hath no ground of excuse to say he was forced to this or that The knowledge of this determined period of mans life is of great vse for it teacheth vs 1. Wholly to submit our selues to God and to be prepared either soone to depart out of this world or long to liue in it as God shall dispose of our time nor desiring longer to liue then God hath appointed nor grieuing to liue so long as he hath appointed 2. Not to feare the threats of any man thereby to be drawne from God 3. To doe Gods worke while we haue time c. §. 114. Of reward promised to obedience that it implieth no merit The other heresie which Papists gather from this text is this Mans obedience is meritorious Answ The reward here promised is no matter of wages and due desert but of meere grace and fauour Of this error I haue elsewhere more largely spoken §. 115. Of the connexion of Parents dutie with Childrens EPHES. 6. 4. And ye fathers prouoke not your children to wrath but bring them vp in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. THe Apostle hauing vrged children to performe their duties to their parents he turneth his speech to parents saying AND ye fathers c. That copulatiue particle AND ioyning an exhortation to parents for performing their duties to the forenamed exhortation made to children giueth vs to vnderstand that Parents are as well bound to dutie as children Their duties indeed be different yet notwithstanding their superioritie and authoritie ouer their children they are bound to dutie All the directions and exhortations throughout the Scripture giuen vnto parents concerning their dutie and all the threatnings denounced and iudgements executed on parents for neglect of their dutie are pregnant proofes of this point Though parents be ouer their children and by them cannot be commanded yet they are vnder God and he it is who hath enioyned them their dutie so as they are bound thereunto as they will answer it to their Father in heauen The authoritie which parents haue is not so much for their owne aduancement as for the better gouerning of their children which being so their verie gouernment is a dutie Object In the morall Law the dutie of children only is expressed Answ Parents dutie as many others duties is by iust and necessarie consequence implied which is equiualent and as much bindeth as if it were expressed It is thus implied They who haue honour must carrie themselues worthie of honour Now the way to carrie themselues worthie of honour is to be carefull in doing dutie to them that honour them This is so equall as it needed not to be exprest Wherefore let Ministers follow this patterne of the Apostle and carrie an euen hand towards all of all sorts let them not be partiall in laying all the burden of dutie on childrens necks and none on parents holding in children verie straitly but leauing parents to their owne will Parents are flesh and bloud as well as children and as prone to transgresse in their place as children in theirs Yea Ministers ought of the two to be more earnest in vrging parents to performe their dutie because they are vnder no such power and authoritie as children are Feare of parents authoritie keepeth children much in awe There is no such thing to keepe parents in awe They will be more readie therefore to take the greater libertie if by feare of God and by a good conscience they be not kept in compasse Now ye ô parents as you looke for honour carrie yourselues worthie of honour as ye looke for dutie from your children performe dutie to them Know that another day euen you shall be called to an account before the highest Iudge your authoritie will then be no pretence to excuse but an euidence to aggrauate your fault For you being elder in yeeres and more eminent in place of more experience and hauing a charge ouer your children ought to be a light to shew them the way an example to allure them that they seeing you carefull and conscionable in performing your dutie may be the more prouoked to performe theirs or at least made ashamed of their neglect of dutie But if you be carelesse of your dutie how can ye expect dutie at their hands nay if by your ill example they haue beene made negligent their bloud shall be required at your hands §. 116. Of the extent of these words Fathers Children Though the word Fathers be here vsed which properly setteth forth naturall parents and of naturall parents the male kinde yet as in many other places it is to be taken in a larger extent euen in as large as this word children was before that so there may be a iust and equall relation betwixt children and parents wherefore both sexes of naturall parents are comprised vnder it euen mother as well as father and they also who are in place of parents whether by mariage as all sorts of fathers and mothers in Law or by appointment as all they who of right haue the custodie and charge of children as Guardians Tutors and other like Gouernours and so it is euerie way answerable to the word parents vsed in the first verse and the word children is also here to be taken in the same extent as it was there §. 117. Of parents prouoking children The next phrase prouoke to wrath is the exposition of one Greeke word which being a compound word cannot by one English word be fully expressed the best and neerest that I can thinke of is exasperate The word signifieth an extremitie in the vse of authoritie euen too much austeritie and seueritie whereby children are prouoked to wrath which because it is a fault it is here expresly forbidden prouoke not c. In this word there is a trope the effect is put for the cause The Apostles meaning is that parents should take such heed of their cariage toward their children as they giue them no occasion to be stirred vp to wrath Vnder this word then are forbidden all such things as may kindle wrath in children as too much austeritie in cariage sowrenesse in countenance threatning and reuiling in words too hard
purloining what she can from her husband 3. By it husbands and wiues are stirred vp to wish and long after one anothers death and not only inwardly in heart to wish it but outwardly also in deed to practise it 4. If from this sinne there arise not a gauling and terrifying conscience as oft there doth then which is worse a seared conscience an hard heart a reprobate sense and an impudent face Wherefore God accordingly deales with such sinners In his soule he hateth them by his word he hath denounced many fearefull iudgements against them both in this world and in the world to come against no sinne more This sin is reckoned to be one of the most principall causes of the greatest iudgements that euer were inflicted in the world as of the generall deluge of that fire and brimstone which destroied Sodome and Gomorrah of Canaans spuing out her Inhabitants of that plague which destroied in one day 24000 and of the Israelites captiuitie with the like By all which we see that fearefull doome verified Whoremongers and adulterers God will iudge Now consider what a fearefull thing it is to fall into the hands of the liuing God §. 9. Of remedies against Adulterie and in particular of due beneuolence and of defect or excesse therein For preuenting this hainous sinne to omit many other remedies which Gods word hath prescribed as a diligent keeping of the heart that lustfull thoughts proceed not from thence of the eies that they wander not on the beautie or propernesse of any ones person or on lasciuious pictures or any other like allurements of the eares that they hearken not to any inticements of others of the tongue that it vtter no vnchaste and corrupt communication of the lips that they delight not in wanton kisses of the hands that they vse no wanton daliance of the feet that they carry thee not too neere to the place where adulterie may be committed of thy company that thou be not defiled with others wantonnesse and vncleannesse of thy diet that it be not immoderate of thine apparell that it be not garish and lasciuious of thy time that it be not vainly and idly spent to omit I say these and other like remedies One of the best remedies that can be prescribed to maried persons next to an awfull feare of God and a continuall setting of him before them wheresoeuer they are is that husband and wife mutually delight each in other and maintaine a pure and feruent loue betwixt themselues yeelding that due beneuolence one to another which is warranted sanctified by Gods word and ordained of God for this particular end This due beneuolence as the Apostle stileth it is one of the most proper and essentiall acts of mariage and necessary for the maine and principall ends thereof as for preseruation of chastitie in such as haue not the gift of continency for increasing the world with a legitimate brood and for linking the affections of the maried couple more firmely together These ends of mariage at least the two former are made void without this duty be performed As it is called beneuolence because it must be performed with good will and delight willingly readily and cheerefully so it is said to be due because it is a debt which the wife oweth to her husband and he to her For the wife hath not the power of her owne body but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne body but the wife I haue my warrant from the Apostle to prescribe this dutie as a remedie against adulterie For to auoid fornication he aduiseth man and wife to render due beneuolence one to another If then this question be moued How will mariage keep men and women from adulterie this answer out of the Apostles words may be giuen by rendring due beneuolence which he further inculcateth by declaring the mischiefe that may follow vpon the neglect of this dutie namely a casting of themselues into the snares of Satan Well might he presse this dutie to that end because no other meanes is of like force nor fasting nor watching nor hard lodging nor long trauell nor much labour nor cold nor solitarinesse nor any thing else Some that haue by these meanes endeuoured much to beat downe their bodies and subdue lust but neglected the forenamed remedie haue notwithstanding felt lust boiling in them There are two extremes contrarie to this dutie One in the defect another in the excesse Defect therein is when in case of need it is not required or being required by the one it is not yeelded by the other Modestie is pretended by some for not requiring it but in a duty so warrantable and needfull pretence of modesty is to speake the least a signe of great infirmitie and a cause of much iniquitie To denie this dutie being iustly required is to denie a due debt and to giue Satan great aduantage The punishment inflicted on Onan Gen. 38. 9 10. sheweth how great a wrong this is From that punishment the Hebrews gather that this sinne is a kinde of murther It is so much the more hainous when hatred stoutnesse nicenesse feare of hauing too many children or any other like respects are the cause thereof Excesse is either in the measure or in the time In the measure when husband or wife is insatiable prouoking rather then asswaging lust and weakning their naturall vigor more then suppressing their vnnaturall humor Many husbands and wiues are much oppressed by their bedfellowes vnsatiablenesse in this kinde In the time when it is against Pietie Mercy or Modestie 1. Against Pietie when no day nor dutie of Religion no not extraordinarie daies and duties of humiliation will make them forbeare The Prophets bidding the bridegroome and â—ride goe out of their chamber in the day of a Fast and the Apostles excepting of Praier and fasting where he enioineth this dutie of due beneuolence shew that in the time of a Fast it must â—e forborne 2. Against Mercy when one of the married couple being weake by sicknesse paine labour trauell or any other like â—eanes and through that weaknesse not well able to performe his dutie the other notwithstanding will haue it performed â— will haue mercy and not sacrifice saith the Lord. Shall Gods sacrifice giue place to mercy and shall not mans or womans 〈◊〉 for so I may well terme this vnseasonable desire Quest What if an husband or wife continue so long sicke â—â— otherwise weake as the other cannot containe Answ In such cases of necessitie the body must be beaten â—wne and earnest praier made for the gift of continency for â—redly the Lord who hath brought thee to that necessitie all giue thee grace sufficient 3. Against Modesty when husbands require this duty in that me which vnder the Law was called the time
face and haue him dwell with him and while his father was in the way he went out to meet him and at first sight fell on his neck and wept a good while a token of great affection That loue which naturally parents beare to their children ought in equitie to breed in children a loue to their parents For loue deserueth loue and most vnworthy are they to be loued who cannot loue againe The loue of parents aboue all others is to be answered with loue on childrens part to the vttermost of their power because it is free great and constant Besides there is a necessitie of loue in children to their parents lest for want thereof their subiection which of all others ought to be most free should turne into slauish seruitude This ought children the rather to labour after because by nature they are nothing so prone to loue their parents as their parents are to loue them Loue is weightie and as weighty things it descendeth Children therefore with conscience of dutie must labour to make supply of this defect and helpe nature by grace I denie not but naturally there is in children a greater loue to their parents then to others yet in comparison of the heat of parents loue to them their loue to their parents is but cold Wherfore as the heat of the Sun shining much and long on a stone wall draweth a reflection of heat from that wall so the hot beames of parents loue which with feruency and constancy is cast on children ought to prouoke and stirre vp children to send forth a reflection of loue on their parents Two extreames are contrary to this affection of loue One is want of naturall affection which is a vice most odious and abominable in all but most of all in children The Apostle reckoneth this among the most heighnous vices that be The other is hatred and despight of parents a vice more then monstrous and vnnaturall From thence commeth mocking and cursing of parents whereof we shall afterwards heare §. 3. Of a childes feare of his parent To the forenamed dutie of loue must feare be added which is a childes awfull respect of his parent This awfull respect ariseth from an honourable esteeme which a childe in his iudgement and opinion hath of his parent as he is his parent and from it proceedeth on the one side a desire and indeauour in all things to please the parent and on the other side a loathnesse to offend him In this respect the feare of a childe is opposed to the feare of a slaue For a childes feare being mixed with loue hath respect to the offence which a parent may take but a slaues feare which is ordinarily mixed with hatred hath respect to nothing but the punishment which his master may inflict vpon him The forenamed feare is so proper to children as that awfull respect which the Saints beare to God is called a siliall or child-like feare This feare in a childe is an especiall branch of that honour which the law requireth of children to their parents and it is in expresse termes inioyned to children by the law That phrase which God vseth of Miriam If her father had but spit in her face should she not be ashamed seuen daies sheweth that there ought to be such a feare of the parent in a childes heart as should worke shame in it when the parent is offended A worthy patterne we haue hereof in Iaakob who was loath to gaine the blessing with offence of his father This feare keepeth loue in compasse and restraineth a childe from ouermuch saucinesse and malipartnesse And it is a cause of a childes reuerend and dutifull carriage to his parent For as the heart is affected the carriage will be ordered Contrary hereunto is that light or which is more abomiâ—nable that base and vile esteeme of parents which is in the heart of many children especially if parents be poore of low degree vnlearned ignorant or subiect to any infirmities It cannot be but that Cham had too light if not a base esteeme of his father when he derided him A true filiall feare would haue restrained him from that extreme Wherefore to breed and cherish this feare and to preuent â—r redresse the contrary extreme let children well informe themselues of their parents place and authoritie how they are in Gods stead and a meanes vnder God of their childrens being children haue receiued their very substance from the subâ—tance of their parents In which respect though they should â—eeme contemptible to others yet not to their children Thus much of a childes inward disposition towards his parent The manifestation thereof must be by his outward carriage and that in two things Reuerence and Obedience both which respect a parents authoritie §. 4. Of a childes Reuerence in refraining speech before his parent and in hearkening to his parent The outward reuerence which children owe to their paâ—â—nts consisteth partly in their speech partly in their carriage Their speech both to and of their parents must sauour reuerence To their parents in presence OF their parents in absence In presence by refraining their speech well framing   For refraining speech two vertues are requisite Silence Patience  Silence in forbearing to speake breaking of speech  Patience in hearkening to their parents The two branches of silence in forbearing to speake espeâ—â—â—lly when parents are speaking or till parents giue leaue to their children to speake and in breaking off speech when parents come into the place where children are speaking are tokens of great reuerence Thus children testifie that there are some in place whom they much respect and honour Iob doth thus set forth the respect which Princes and others did beare to him in his prosperitie The Princes saith he refrained talking and laid their hand vpon their mouth the Nobles held their peace c. Namely while he was in presence or while he spake The like may be said of childrens patience in induring their parents speech which Iob also noteth in these words Vnto me men gaue eare and waited and kept silence Though parents in their speech seeme to be long and tedious yet must children indure it And it is very needfull that patience be added to silence because many parents in tender loue of their children and earnest desire of their good thinke they can neuer speake enough in instructing and admonishing them The many exhortations giuen in Scripture vnto children to heare hearken giue eare giue heed marke and obserue the words of their parents doe imply the forenamed silence and patience for they who ought to be swift to heare must be slow to speake I denie not but much more is intended vnder those phrases namely obedience yet must these also be presupposed for he that will not in silence patiently hearken to his parents while they speake will much lesse obey what they say
reproofe that patience can be no better accounted of then dissimulation and plaine mockage When the father in law of Moses told him that what he did was not well he forthwith amended it But contrarily many lewd and vngracious children continue to goe on in their wicked courses though their parents againe and againe rebuke them for it Iust was Elies reproofe of his children but yet no amendment followed Now note the inference made thereupon by the holy Ghost They obeyed not the voice of their father because the Lord would slay them whereby is implied that to despise the iust reproofe of parents is an euident signe and forerunner of Gods heauy iudgement Salomon calls the childe which will heare no rebuke a Scorner which noteth out a most obstinate sinner that cannot be reclaimed and in that respect is scorned of the Lord. §. 33. Of Childrens submission to their parents correction IIII. Correction is a reall reproofe a reproofe in the highest degree euen the seuerest kinde of reproofe so as by subiection hereunto great tryall of obedience is made By the same meanes must a childes submission to his parent in this kinde of reproofe be manifested as in the former namely 1. By bearing patiently the correction which his parent shall giue him 2. By amending readily that for which he is iustly corrected The former of these is noted by the Apostle as a ruled case a matter not to be denied in these words We haue had fathers of our flesh which corrected vs and we gaue them reuerence One speciall part of this reuerence is a patient suffering therefore he inferres thereupon ought we not to be in subiection c. The latter is set forth by Salomon vnder an effect which followeth vpon the performance thereof for hauing aduised a parent to correct his childe he addeth this reason He shall giue thee rest yea he shall giue delight vnto thy soule how can this rest and delight be giuen but by the childes amendment of that for which he is corrected A parent taketh no delight in the paine and smart of his childe but in the fruit that followeth thereupon As a childes transgression is a griefe and vexation to the parent so his amendment causeth rest and delight Now this effect followeth not simply vpon correction but vpon the good vse thereof which is made by the childe It lyeth therefore in the childe and so lyeth vpon him as a dutie to giue this rest and delight to his parent by amending the fault for which he is corrected as he brought griefe to him by prouoking him to vse correction Thus shall neither parent repent the inflicting nor the childe repent the induring of correction That a childe may attaine to this degree of obedience he must duly consider both the Cause whereby his parent is moued to correct him and also the End which he aimeth at therein The cause is the loue he beareth to his childe The end which he aimeth at is his childes good If these motiues worke not obedience what can §. 34. Of refusing or abusing correction Contrary is disdaine on the one side and obstinacie on the other Disdaine when children scorne to be corrected by their parents and in that respect when by all the meanes they can vse they cannot auoid it they will mutter and murmure fret and fume rage and raue against their parents and despise and hate them for it Obstinacie when they will be no whit bettered thereby but still runne on in their leaud courses and rather waxe the worse for being corrected This may be counted the highest pitch of a childes rebellion for this is the last meanes which a parent can vse to reclaime his childe from desperate courses If this preuaileth not the law of God requireth that a parent should giue vp his childe into the hand of the Magistrate that he may be put to death Hitherto of the distinct branches of childrens Obedience The Extent thereof followeth §. 35. Of childrens conforming their iudgements to their parents The extent of childrens obedience is only implied in this Epistle to the Ephesians but it is expressed Col. 3. 20 in these words Children obey your parents IN ALL THINGS A large extent but not simply to be taken without any limitation for the Apostle himselfe noteth a restraint in these words In the Lord. So farre forth as children transgresse not any of Gods commandements in obeying their parents they ought to obey This is to obey in all things in the Lord. The extent of childrens duties being the very same that was of wiues duties and the restraint also the same that order which was there obserued shall here also be kept Only other proofes more pertinent to childrens place shall be brought to confirme those generall propositions which may be applied to any inferiours Many generall reasons there alledged for proofe of the propositions shall here be omitted Wherefore compare this place with that Thus we see that parents authority is very large there is no restraint of it but Gods contrary command whereof a childe must be assured if he refuse to obey his parent in any thing It is not enough for a childe to say I haue thus long and in thus many things obeyed my parent I hope in some things if I haue mine owne will I may be excused No All things comprise more then many things Wherefore Many are not enough And though Gods will be exempted yet is not thine owne will exempted though thou maiest doe nothing against Gods will yet thou oughtest to doe many things against thine owne will if it be contrary to thy parents Two things are to be laboured after by children for attaining to this extent of obedience in all things 1. They must labour to bring their iudgement and will to the bent of their parents to thinke that meet and conuenient for them to doe which their parents will haue them doe Though Isaak thought it somewhat strange that he should carry wood vp to an hill to offer sacrifice where was nothing for a burnt offering yet it being the will of his father that he should doe so he thought it meet enough for him to doe so This subiection of iudgement and will is to be yeelded in all the particular cases of obedience which were before propounded as in their calling mariage apparrell allowance c. So as children are to thinke that kinde of calling that particular match that apparrell and that allowance to be meetest for them which their parents thinke meete If the iudgement be perswaded of the meetnesse of a thing and the will inwardly brought to yeeld vnto it outward obedience will more readily and cheerefully bee yeelded thereunto Contrary is the ouerweining conceipt which many children haue of their owne iudgement and will who thinke they can better discerne what is fit and meete for themselues then their parents They imagine their parents
passing by them as we speake and taking no notice of them and also by concealing them from others as much as they can The Scripture noteth it to be a property of loue to couer a multitude of sinnes now in whom should loue abound if not in children And who should more manifest this property of loue then children Of passing by and concealing from others a parents infirmity we haue a worthy patterne in Shem and Iaphet when Noah their father being drunken lay vncouered in the midst of his tent they went backward that they might not themselues see their fathers infirmity and couered his nakednesse that others might not see it The blessing which vpon this occasion was then promised to them and their posterity sheweth how acceptable this dutie was to God Contrary was Chams practise who discouered and made knowne his fathers nakednesse The curse thereupon denounced against him sheweth how odious that sinne was vnto God Too many there be of Chams cursed brood who blaze abroad their parents infirmities and make such things knowne of them as otherwise would not be knowne whereby they bring much dishonour and shame vpon their parents which can be no honour to the children and withall a curse from their parents on themselues which the heathen accounted very dreadfull More contrary was Absoloms practise who raised a most malicious slander of his father and thereby alienated his subiects hearts from him Too many Absolom-like seeke to raise a supposed reputation and honour to themselues by vilifying and disgracing their parents but let them note Absoloms end Assuredly if they hold on in that course the like or a worse shall be their end §. 43. Of childrens bearing with their parents casuall necessities Casuall extremities are all manner of crosses which by the prouidence of God are laid vpon a man whether vpon his bodie as blindnesse lamenesse sicknesse c. or on his person as captiuitie banishment imprisonment c. or on his estate as pouerrie penurie c. In all these children must beare with their parents as in the forenamed infirmities neither lesse reuerendly esteeme of them nor performe the lesse dutie because of them These are such necessities as are not sinfull in themselues and therefore in regard of these parents are much more to be borne withall Though Isaak were blinde yet did not Iaakob a whit the lesse respect him Though Naomi were poore yet Ruth her daughter in law continued to doe a childs dutie and seruice vnto her Contrary is the vnnaturall disposition of such children as take occasion from these casuall necessities of their parents to despise them God hath made an expresse law against despising those who are by any outward defects impotent as deafe blinde c. If no person may despise another for these much lesse children their parents They are worse then Cham that doe so and may looke for an heauier curse §. 44. Of childrens releeuing their parents according to their neede Besides bearing with parents necessities in such cases as parents stand in need of their childrens releefe and succour they must afford it them In sicknesse they must visit them as Ioseph visited his father In time of mourning they must comfort them as the children of Iaakob In want they must prouide things needfull for them as the sonnes of Iaakob who went vp to buy food for their father and as Ioseph who sent for Iaakob into Egypt and there nourished him It is noted of Ruth that shee did not only gleane for her mother a poore woman but also reserued some of that food which was giuen to her selfe to eat for her In time of danger they must doe what they can for their protection and preseruation as Dauid had in this respect an especiall care of his father and mother Yea if God be pleased to take children out of this world before their parents and their parents be succourlesse they must take what order they can for the well-being of their parents after their owne departure as Christ who commended his mother to his disciple Iohn a little before his death These and such like duties are particular branches of recompence and are all comprised vnder that requitall which the Apostle requireth of children And they are but a small part of requitall of all the paines care and charges that parents haue been at with their children Yea this only thing that parents haue brought forth children into the world can children neuer sufficiently requite Nature hath taught thus much not only vnto heathen men but also vnto the vnreasonable creatures Among other vnreasonable creatures the example of the Storke is worthy to be noted for it is recorded of that kinde that when the dammes are old the young ones feed them and when through age they are ready to faint in their flying the young ones will helpe and when they are past flying the young ones carrie them on their backs The Greeke name of a Storke is taken from that word which signifieth to requite a parents kindnesse or else this word is taken from that name they are both of the same notation Contrary is the opinion of Pharisies who thought that children by consecrating their substance to the Temple might be freed from this dutie of recompence to parents which is the mysterie of that Hebrew word Corban They made a meere pretext of piety to God a cause of manifest impietie against parents Christ giueth this verdict of them that they make the word of God of none effect Papists are of the same opinion and so vnder the same censure Contrary also is their practise who hauing the goods of this world suffer their parents to want S. Iohn saith that the loue of God dwelleth not in him who shutteth vp his compassion from his brother in that case how then can it dwell in such a childe Not they only who suffer their parents to starue offend in this extreme but they also who suffer them to liue poorely and basely when themselues Diues-like fare delicately and goe gorgeously attired euery day In an higher degree doe they offend who bring their parents to such extremities as to pouertie by their lauish spending to prison by importuning them to be their sureties to excessiue griefe by their mischieuous practises as the sonnes of Iaakob But what shall we say of such gracelesse children as dare strike their parents Gods law accounteth such a childe vnworthy of life and adiudgeth him to death Nay what may be said of father-quellers and mother-quellers There was of old no particular law made against them because it is supposed that no childe can be so vnnaturall and inhumane In imitation whereof Solon that wise law-maker among the heathen made no law against them and his reason being asked he answered that he thought no childe would commit such a fact When afterwards such
appointed for it of endlesse blisse or woe so as there is no meanes of altering the one or helping forward the other §. 51. Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens seeking to reuenge their parents wrongs That which Heathen adde is that children after their parents death reuenge such wrongs as haue beene done to them in their life time And they presse this so farre vpon children as they affright them with their parents Ghost saying that if they neglect to reuenge their parents wrongs their Ghost will follow them and not suffer them to liue in quiet but molest them continually This conceipt ariseth from the corruption of nature which is exceeding prone to reuenge but it is expresly forbidden in Scripture in these and such prohibitions Resist not euill Recompence to no man euill for euill Auenge not our selues c. Yet some in iustification thereof alledge Daâ—ids charge to Salomon of taking vengeance on Ioab and Sheâ—â—ei after his death Answ The charge which Dauid gaue Salomons execution thereof was no matter of priuate reuenge but only a lawfull execution of iustice which children may and ought to doe Iust reasons there were to moue Dauid to put off the execution of â—ustice vpon the one the other so long Ioab was too mightie to haue execution done on him in Dauids time and Shemeis offence was committed in the time of Dauids humiliation which made him sweare that he would not himselfe take Vengeance of him Besides Salomon executed iustice on the one and the other not for the wrongs they did to his father but for other crimes which they committed in his time onely their former offences were remembred to aggrauate the matter Thus farrc of childrens duties The manner of performing them followeth to be declared §. 52. Of the manner of performing childrens duties That clause which noted out the limitation of childrens duties affoordeth also an excellent direction for the manner of performing them It is this in the Lord that is Children must so performe their duty to their parents as they would or should performe it to the Lord. More particularly it implieth these six points 1. That their duties be performed in conscience or for conscience sake which is all one as for the Lords sake for the Lord onely is Iudge of the conscience and hath power ouer it Thus must subiects performe duty to magistrates much more children to parents The reason which the Apostle rendereth in these words This is wel-pleasing to the Lord sheweth that children in obeying their parents must labour to approue themselues to God 2. Their duties must be in sincerity which is when children pretend in shew to doe no more then in truth and heart they meane Whatsoeuer ye doe doe it heartily as to the Lord saith the Apostle Parents vse to deale with none more heartily then with their children accordingly must children deale with parents 3. They must be performed cheerefully with a willing and ready minde for the Lord loueth cheerefulnesse Herein lyeth a maine difference betwixt a filiall and seruile a childe like and slauelike obedience 4. They must be performed reuerendly as to them which beare the Image of God Hereof we spake before 5. They must so be performed as in performing them no sinne be committed against God Hereof also we spake before 6. Constancy must be added to all other vertues For as the Lord himselfe is constant in all his waies and workes so he expecteth that children should be in the duties which he requireth at their hands He that beginneth well and holdeth not on loseth all the glory of his good beginning If the examples of all good children commended in Scripture be well weighed we shall finde their duties so farre forth as they were acceptable to God performed after the foresaid manner in all the branches thereof §. 53. Of the aberrations of children in the manner of their obedience Contrary are these aberrations 1. When children performe their duties on by-respects for feare of parents wrath and the punishment following thereon for hope and expectation of greater portion and allowâ—nce vpon instant perswasion of friends with the like these respects simply in themselues are not for the Lord. 2. When they performe them only outwardly in shew complementally while parents are in presence or may know thereof This is not with respect to God who seareheth the â—eart 3. When they performe them grudgingly mutteringly disdainfully as if their parents authority were an vsurped â—ower and not giuen them of God Is this in the Lord 4. When they performe them rudely and vnmannerly his sheweth they consider not the glory of Gods Image shiâ—ing in their parents 5. When they care not how they sinne against God so â—â—ey may please their parents 6. When as if they repented of what they haue well done â—â—ey refuse to doe any more duty to their parents They waxe â—eary thinking that God hath laid too heauy a burden vpon â—â—em Many shew themselues more dutifull in their youngâ—â— then in their riper yeares That which maketh children â—eary in doing duty is commonly the great and long neede of â—â—eir parents as long sicknesse long impotency long pouerty with the like It appeares that such children looke only on their parents as men which as they imagine can neuer recompence their paines and cost they looke not to God who is able abundantly to recompence all These therefore performe not their duty in the Lord. §. 54. Of the equall respect that children are to beare to both parents As the distinct duties of children haue beene set forth so I thinke it requisite to declare distinctly who the parties be to whom those duties are to be performed These principally are the naturall parents both Father and Mother Secondarily such as are in the place of parents The first point then to be noted is that children beare an equall respect to both their naturall parents and performe duty to both alike The law expresly mentioneth both Honour thy Father and thy Mother Well may we thinke that there was some iust and vrgent cause that the law which so briefly vnder as few words as well could be compriseth exceeding much matter should expresly mention father and mother when as there is one word parent which includeth both Now what other reason can be rendred then the point in hand It is worthy to be noted how the Apostle contenteth not himselfe to haue named parents which implieth both but also annexeth the expresse words of the law which in particular setteth downe father and mother It is expresly set downe of Iaakob that he obeyed his father and his mother Among other pen-men of Scripture Salomon expresly mentioneth both father and mother euen almost twenty seuerall times in Prou. Many reasons there be to inforce this point 1. Both parents are vnder God a like meanes of their
mothers in law Fathers and mothers in law are to be ranked in the first degree of those who are in the place of naturall parents Very good proofe there is in Scripture for childrens subiection to them The respect which Moses beare to his father in law and Ruth to her mother in law and Christ himselfe to his supposed father are commended for this very purpose Subiection is noted in Christs example Reuerence in Moses Recompence in Ruths The mariage bond maketh man and wife one flesh whereupon the naturall parent that marieth another maketh that other one with him and in that respect is as a parent to the children and by them ought to be accounted so The law of God maketh it plaine inâ—â—st for a sonne to vncouer the shame of his mother in law or for a father in law to vncouer the shame of his daughter in law Whereby it appeareth that fathers and mothers in law are by Gods law in the very place and steed of naturall parents to their children and accordingly as naturall parents are to be honoured Besides it is a great honour which a childe doth to his naturall father or mother to respect such as they haue made one flesh with themselues as they doe their owne parent So as to honour a father or mother in law is to honour a naturall parent Contrary is the minde and cariage of most children Very few beare a reuerend dutifull and child-like respect to stepfathers and step-mothers but for the most part despise them in heart grumble at them in speech and are very vndutifull in their behauiour whence it commeth to passe that they bring much griefe to their naturall parent and oft cause much discord and dissention betwixt their naturall and step-parentâ— being herein set on worke by Satan who laboureth what he can to disunite those whom God hath neerely vnited together and made one flesh Lamentable experience sheweth that the second third or any after-mariages are seldome so comfortable and peaceable as the first especially if either the one or other or both haue children The cause thereof for the most part is in children who brooke not fathers or mothers in law Obiect Nature cannot so well brooke a step-step-parent as a naturall parent Answ 1. If not so well yet despise them not there is a difference betwixt extremes 2. Conscience and religion ought to alter corrupt nature Looke to Gods ordinance and let Gods feare possesse thine heart that that may bring thee to doe what nature cannot 2. Obiect Fathers and Mothers in law seldome respect their husbands or wiues former children Answ This obiection more beseemeth the mouth of a barbarian then a Christian The Gospell teacheth to be subiect not only to the good and gentle but also to the froward and not to be ouercome of euill but to ouercome euill with goodnesse The Scripture reckoneth such as rise vp against their parents in law among such as rise vp against their naturall parents shewing thereby that the impietie of those is as blame-worthy as the impietie of these §. 58. Of childrens subiection to Guardians Tutors c. For childrens subiection to Gouernours Guardians and Tutors the Apostle saith that a childe is vnder them If by the law children are vnder them they ought in equitie to be subiect to them It is expresly noted of Esther euen after the King had chosen her for his wife that she did the commandement of Mordecai who was as a Guardian to her like as when she was brought vp with him A memorable patterne for this purpose What pretences might she haue made to haue cast off all manner of subiection Mordecai was but her cosen she was now aduanced aboue him a wife she was and so subiect to her husband yea a Kings wife and so her selfe a Queene yet she was subiect and her subiection commended We reade that the children of the Prophets much respected Elisha did reuerence to him and were obedient to him because he was as a father and tutor vnto them in which respect also Elisha was as a childe subiect to Eliah whom he called father Guardians Tutors and such like ouer-seers of children haue a parents charge laid vpon them as we shall after shew great reason therefore that child-like dutie should be yeelded to them Their honour must be answerable to their charge and care Contrary is the conceit of many lawlesse children whose parents being dead or they being sent and placed abroad out of the gouernment of their parents thinke they are cleane free from all gouernment and may liue as they list Their practise being correspondent to this opinion they runne into all riot and in time bring themselues to vtter ruine It is the ouerthrow of many children that they regard not their Guardians Tutors and Gouernours and God in iudgement bringeth many such refractarie children to some fearefull shamefull end or other Let children therefore be wise and not take too much libertie to themselues Thus farre haue beene handled the duties of children in their seuerall kindes the manner of performing them and the parties to whom they are to be performed It remaineth to speake of the reasons which the Apostle alledgeth to inforce those duties §. 59. Of the place of parents whereby children ought to be moued to obey them The reasons which the Apostle vseth to moue children to performe their dutie are foure The first is taken from the place of the parent The second from the equitie of the thing The third from Gods expresse charge The fourth from Gods promise I. The place of a parent is noted forth by this phrase IN THE LORD which as it affordeth a limitation and giueth a direction to children so it addeth a spur vnto them to stirre them vp to performe their dutie for it sheweth that parents are to then children in the Lords steed as an euidence thereof hath God communicated to them this glorious and honourable title FATHER which is proper and peculiar to himselfe Now then parents being to their children in Gods steed and by vertue of their place bearing Gods image children in obeying their parents obey God in refusing to obey them refuse to obey God A strong motiue is this first motiue For who is so void of religion but will thinke it most meet that God should be honoured or who so impious as to refuse to yeeld dutie to God Here then children may learne in one maine point how to honour the Lord shew themselues children of God And let them here by know that disobedient and vndutifull children that resist the authoritie of parents resist the ordinance of God and receiue to themselues damnation §. 60. Of the equitie whereby children should be moued to obey their parents II. The second reason in these words for this is right though it be not of greater force yet is it more plainly and expresly noted to be a reason as the
causall particle for prefixed before it sheweth It is a generall reason drawne from common equitie a reason which may moue all sorts euen Infidels and Pagans therefore much more Christians In saying It is right he implieth three things 1. That it is agreeable to all law To the law of God which is the fountaine of equitie To the law of Nature which proceeds from thence And to the law of Nations which is answerable in many respects The forenamed proofes out of Gods word shew it to be agreeable to Gods law The precepts which heathen men haue giuen of this point shew it to be agreeable to the law of nature And the many Constitutions of Law-makers in all ages shew it to be agreeable to the law of nations 2. That the place of parents requireth as much For RIGHT requireth that euery one haue his owne that which is his due It being therefore right that children obey their parents that dutie â—s due to them 3. That parents deserue as much for right presupposeth deâ—ert That which is done of right is done by way of recompence The cause of this desert is the loue which parents beare to children the paine paines care and cost they haue beene at in bringing them forth and bringing them vp These things being implied vnder right note what followeth â—rom the force of this reason 1. Disobedient and vndutifull children transgresse against Gods law against common equitie of all nations and against light â—f nature so as they are vnworthy of the name of Christians â—hey are worse then Infidels yea worse then the brute beasts 2. They haue no respect to the place of their parents they disgrace the image of God which their parents by vertue of their place carrie and they disturbe that comely order and degree which God hath set among men 3. They ill repay their parents care and paines for their good and shew themselues both vngratefull and vnnaturall which are two most monstrous and odious sinnes §. 61. Of Gods accepting childrens obedience The forenamed reason is by this same Apostle in another place thus set downe This is well-pleasing to the Lord. By comparing that place with my text I obserue that What is right is well-pleasing to the Lord. And againe What is well-pleasing to the Lord is right These two propositions are as we speake in Schooles conuertible and reciprocall either of them true of the other euery way Wherefore the Apostle in another place ioyneth them both together For hauing exhorted children to recompence their parents he saith That is good and acceptable before God Good or honest is in effect the same that right This sheweth that dutifull children as they doe that which is good or honest and right vnto their parents so also therein they highly please God so as they may be sure not to lose thereby At Gods hand they shall receiue a reward though their parents should little regard their dutifulnesse Thus God dealt with Iaakob His father in law ill repaid his faithfulnesse but God looked vpon him and abundantly recompenced all his paines This sheweth againe that vndutifull children as they doe not that which is right but rather wrong vnto their parents so they highly displease God they may be sure therefore not to escape vnpunished though their parents through ouer-much indulgencie should let them alone instance the two impious children of Elie Hophni and Phinehas and the two rebellious children of Dauid Absolom and Adoniah This therefore addeth force to the second reason and moueth children to doe right to their parents by obeying them as they respect God his good pleasure or displeasure as they looke for recompence or feare vengeance from him §. 62. Of Gods charge how inuiolable a bond it is to tie children to obey their parents III. The third drawne from Gods charge is not only in expresse termes noted but for more weight the very words of the morall law are quoted Honour thy father and thy mother and it is added that this is a commandement yea the first commandement and that with promise all which is for amplification of the point Here then consider we 1. The reason it selfe 2. The amplification thereof  From the reason that it is Gods charge I gather these three points 1. That it is no arbitrary matter left to childrens discretion whether they will obey their parents or no but a matter whereunto in conscience they are bound euen as they owe alleageance to God himselfe the great law-giuer so as in neglecting dutie to parents children sinne euen against God himselfe for the same God who hath commanded vs to honour himselfe hath commanded vs to honour father and mother 2. That this is a perpetuall and a generall law a law whereunto all children of all times places sexes estates and degrees alwaies haue beene still are and euer shall be bound For the morall law is of that extent it is generall for all persons perpetuall for all times Therefore no children may thinke to be exempted from it Quest What if children be growne to yeeres and not vnder their parents gouernment Answ There may be some difference both in some parts of subiection and also in the manner of subiection betwixt such children as remaine vnder their parents gouernment and such as are freed from it but yet so long as a childe hath a parent of what age or estate so euer he be he oweth an honour vnto his parent Ioseph when he was a great Gouernour of Egypt a man growne hauing wife and children yet performed the honour of reuerence obedience and recompence vnto his father Salomon when he was in an higher place then Ioseph euen an absolute King did the honour of Reuerence to his mother 3. That no man can giue children any dispensation or ex emption from their dutie to parents If any may he must be either the law-maker himselfe or one greater then he one that hath power ouer him Now God is the author and giuer of that law God spake all these words c. But is any greater then God hath any power ouer him Who then can dispence with children in this kinde Hence then I inferre these two conclusions 1. That the Popes dispensation is nothing worth they who make it to be of force must make him greater then God which is a horrible blasphemy 2. Though parents themselues should not exact dutie of their children yet children were bound to performe dutie to them because of Gods charge To this therefore are children to looke This sheweth that there is no lesse paine hanging ouer the heads of the transgressors of this charge then the curse of the law eternall condemnation §. 63. Of the title FIRST giuen to the fift commandement In the amplification of the forenamed reason the Apostle stileth the commandement of honouring parents the first with promise as to shew that it is the first which hath a particular promise
childe and her husband will saue more by giuing halfe a crowne a weeke to a nurse then if his wife gaue the childe sucke Answ No outward businesse appertaining to a mother can be more acceptable to God then the nursing of her childe this is the most proper worke of her speciall calling therefore all other businesses must giue place to this and this must not be left for any other businesse As for the husbands sauing by putting the childe forth to nurse no gaine may giue a dispensation against a bounden duty 7. Obiect It will breake tender faire women and make them looke old too soone 1. Answ Gods ordinance must not giue place to womens â—â—icenesse Sarah was faire and old The Virgin Mary was faire and young 2. Answ Drying vp a womans milke will more breake her then her childes sucking of it for it is a meanes both of better health and also of greater strength as to beare children so to giue them sucke Barren women and bearing women which put forth their children to sucke are most subiect to sicknesse and weaknesse The drawing forth of a womans milke by her childe is a meanes to get and preserue a good stomach which is a great preseruatiue of good health 8. Obiect Husbands are disturbed in the night time and hindred of their sleepe by their wiues giuing sucke to their children 1. Answ By this reason neither mothers nor other nurses which haue husbands should giue sucke to children 2. Answ Seeing children come from the loines of the father as well as out of the wombe of the mother they must be content to endure some disturbance as well as their wiues and so much the rather that they may the more pitty their wiues and afford vnto them what helpe they can 9. Obiect Many husbands will not suffer their wiues to nurse their children themselues Answ Because it is a bounden duty wiues must vse all the meanes they can by themselues or others to perswade their husbands to let them performe it they must take heede that they make not this a pretext to couer their owne sloth and lothnesse to this duty they may not make themselues accessarie to their husbands fault by prouiding a nurse and sending the childe away themselues if their husbands will stand vpon their authority and be perswaded by no meanes to the contrary they must be meere patients in suffering the childe to be taken away 10. Obiect Many poore women maintaine their house by nursing other folkes children Answ If they were not that way imployed they might take paines in some other thing But the gaine of one may not make another neglect her duty 11. Obiect Some mothers cannot giue sucke they haue no milke others cannot very well in that they haue no nipples or they haue sore breasts or are sickly or it may be that they haue such a disease as the childe if it should sucke of their milke would draw to it selfe and so the sucking might proue very dangerous to the childe 1. Answ God requireth no impossibilities wherefore in propounding the duty I put in this caution so far as they are able 2. God requireth mercie and not sacrifice if therefore in truth it be so that the mothers giuing sucke to the childe will be dangerous to her selfe or to the childe she may and ought to forbeare for giuing sucke is but as sacrifice to preuenting of danger which is mercie But women must take heed that they pretend not inability and danger without iust cause Some are themselues the cause of wanting milke because they will not let it be drawne downe or because they will not vse meanes for meanes there are to get and increase milke There are meanes also to raise nipples where the breasts are very flat Refusing to giue sucke many times causeth some sickishnesse in a woman and sore breasts which might be preuented with the childes sucking If the forenesse be only in the nipples a mother with enduring a little more paine may safely giue the childe sucke Many mothers haue giuen their children sucke when bloud hath runne by the mouth of the childe by reason of sore nipples and yet both mother and childe done very well 12. Obiect Diuers children being nursed by the mother haue died one after another Answ Due and thorow search must be made by those that are skilfull and if any cause be found in the mother then the rule holdeth Mercy and not sacrifice but if none can be found the issue must be referred to Gods prouidence and the vncertaine euen must not be an hinderance to a knowne dutie Thus the answering of the forenamed obiections maketh the point so much the more cleere §. 14. Of the fathers dutie in incouraging his wife to nurse her childe The dutie which on a fathers part in this respect is required is that he incourage his wife and helpe her with all needfull things for the performance of this dutie It is noted of Elkaâ—ah that he suffered his wife to tarry at home while she gaue sucke to her sonne and would not force her to goe vp to the tabernacle as his other wife did but gaue her all the ease and content he could saying to her Doe what seemeth thee good And of Abraham it is noted that after Sarah had done giuing the childe sucke he made a great feast euen the day that Isaak was weined one end whereof was to testifie his reioycing for Gods blessing on her motherly dutie so well performed §. 15. Of the faults contrarie to a mothers nursing her childe Contrary to this dutie doe all such mothers offend as for any by-respects when no necessity requireth put forth their children to be nursed by others 1. Some doe it for ease and quiet because they cannot endure to haue their sleepe broken or to heare their childe wrangle and crie 2. Others doe it for nicenesse because they are loth to open their breasts or to soile their cloathes 3. Others vpon pride conceiting that their beauty would be impaired and they looke old too soone 4. Others vpon gaine because they can haue a childe cheaper nursed abroad then at home where at least they must hire a maid the more 5. Others vpon pleasure that they might more freely ride abroad and meet their Gossips 6. Others vpon other by-respects all which doe argue much selfe-loue little loue to their childe and little respect to God They can be counted but halfe-mothers for nursing a childe is as much as bearing and bringing it forth §. 16. Of a fathers fault in hindring his wiues nursing of her child To the forenamed fault of mothers doe all such fathers make themselues accessary as forbid their wiues to nurse their children or are a griefe to them by their complaints of trouble disquiet and expence or afford not things needfull or doe not incourage them all they can to doe it The mothers both paine and paines is the greatest it is in comparison but a small thing
is euident by the ordinary course of nature in all things Clay wax and such other things while they are soft receiue any impression twigs while they are tender are bowed any way birds and beasts are easily tamed when they are young corne sowne betimes bringeth a timely and plentifull haruest 4. That which in childhood is learned is longest retained Traine vp a childe in the way he should goe and when he is old he will not depart from it A vessell longest keepeth that sauour with which at first it is seasoned and by experience we may note old men best to remember the things which in their childhood they learned yea by well educating children from their infancy much labour may afterwards be spared for constant vse of vertue bringeth it vnto a law Obiect To teach children while they are young is but as to teach a Parrot or such like vnreasonable creatures they may learne what is taught them but they cannot conceiue it 1. Answ Though children haue not so deepe an apprehension while they are young as they haue when they come to riper yeares yet so soone as they are capable of instruction they doe much better conceiue what is taught them then vnreasonable creatures can doe 2. Though that were granted yet it would not thereupon follow that it is better not to be taught while they are young For first it is better that they should be framed and squared to a good course before they can discerne betwixt good and euill â—hen be suffered to runne on in euill till they get an habit â—herein which after it is got will hardly be cast off Secondly by teaching them before they can well conceiue their apprehension is much helped What may be the reason that â—hildren of kings and great men are commonly of more vnderstanding at 12. or 14. yeares of age then poore and meane â—ens children at 17. or 18. but that they are sooner and beter instructed Thirdly as by age their vnderstanding commeth to more and more ripenesse they will more and more â—â—nceiue that which at first they did not so well vnderstand Then schollers first learne their Latine rules they learne them â—eerely by rote without vnderstanding the meaning of them â—t afterwards come to make very good vse of them Whereâ—â— children are to be instructed betimes euen for the benefit at may be after reaped as corne is sowne in winter to receiue â—â—op the haruest following and to preuent the mischiefes at may fall out lest they get head ouer their parents against â—ir minde §. 38. Of mothers peculiar care in nurturing young children By the way let mothers especially note this point of timely nurture as a point in peculiar appertaining to them The grandmother Lois and mother Eunice first taught Timothy Bathsheba taught Salomon when he was young Oft doth Salomon warne children not to forsake their mothers teaching Whereby he implieth that mothers should teach their children especially while they are young which duty so belongeth to a mother as Salomon laieth the blame and shame of the neglect thereof vpon her on the other side the honour of well nurturing children redoundeth especially to the mother To this purpose is it that the particular names of the mothers of the kings are recorded in Scripture intimating thereby that mothers were a maine cause of the piety or impiety of such children Salomon and Absolom had both one father but diuers mothers May we not well thinke that Salomons mothers care to instruct him was an especiall meanes of his piety and that Absoloms mothers neglect of this duty was some cause of his impiety It is expresly noted of Ahaziahs mother that she was his counseller to doe wickedly which made him so wicked as he was Home-experience confirmeth as much for if father and mother be of diuers religions most of the children will follow the mother For while children are young their mother is most in their sight she feedeth she apparelleth them she tendeth them when they are not well when the Shunemites childe being ill said to his father my head my head he said to his seruant carrie him to his mother Her precepts therefore and practise in that respect are best heeded by the children and she hath the best opportunity to perswade them to what she liketh best so as what they learne in their younger yeares commonly they learne of their mothers and that which then they learne for the most part sticketh most close vnto them and is longest retained by them as was noted before I haue not thus in particular pressed this point vpon mothers as if I exempted fathers from all care of nurturing their children in the beginning for in my text the Apostle named Fathers and Salomon saith that his father taught him eueâ— while he was tender and Dauid felt the smart of neglecting hiâ— other children It is therefore as hath before beene proued a ioynt duty belonging to both Fathers therefore must doe their best endeuour and see that mothers doe theirs also because he is a gouernour ouer child mother and all §. 39. Of letting slip the best time for nurture Contrary is the negligence of most parents who let the best yeares wherein their children are most docible passe ouer in wantonnesse vanity and folly and so lose that which can neuer be recouered againe most precious time Hence is it that when they goe about to reclaime their children they finde them exceedingly peruerse and head-strong much like to a strong bigge arme of a tree which if a man goe about to straiten he cannot easily make it bow and though it bow yet will it not continue to stand as he would haue it nay it may be that it will rather breake then bow much Such a branch was Adoniah It is apparent that in his childhood he was not well nurtured for his father would not displease him from his childhood The fathers putting off this duty to the mother and the mothers putting it off to the father is a great cause of the neglect thereof Were both of them perswaded that it belonged to them both and in that respect would to their power be helpfull each to other children would much better be instructed §. 40. Of parents continuing to nurture their children As parents must begin betimes to nurture their children so they must hold on therein as long as they retaine any gouernment ouer them yea so long as they remaine to be parents vnto them Some difference there may be in the manner of performing this duty for children are to be vsed as children and they who are growne in yeares and of riper vnderstanding accordingly to be dealt withall yet still must parents haue a care of their well doing The word vsed in my text and translated Children is a generall word which in Scripture and other writers is vsed to set forth all sort of children of what sexe of what age of what degree
blame-worthy and accordingly to doe the good and leaue the euill which is a great point of wisdome Obiect Instruction will better doe this Answ Instruction may giue them more knowledge but it is correction which bringeth them to practise what they know which is the chiefest point of wisdome In regard of parents due correcting of their children both freeth them of many inconueniences and also bringeth to them much quiet 1. It spareth them much paines For many admonitions oft repeated and inculcated againe and againe will not make many children so much to heed wholsome and good aduice as a little correction They are much more sensible of smart then of words 2. It preuenteth much griefe shame and vexation for a foolish sonne is a griefe to his father and bitternesse to her that bare him But it is the rod of correction that driueth away foolishnesse and so preuenteth that griefe and bitternesse 3. It freeth them from the guilt of their childrens sinne so as they are not accessarie thereto as Eli was For correction is the last remedie that a parent can vse if by that he can doe no good it is presupposed that he hath done his vttermost endeuour in which respect though the childe die in his sinne yet the parent hath deliuered his owne soule The quiet which is brought to parents by correcting their children is thus noted out by Solomon Correct thy sonne and he shall giue thee rest yea he shall giue delight vnto thy soule For children well nurtured and by correction kept in a filiall awe will so carrie themselues as their parents may rest somewhat secure and not disquiet themselues as they doe with children set at libertie yea as trees well pruned and ground well tilled they will bring forth pleasant and abundant fruit and so their parents will haue iust cause to reioyce in them §. 47. A direction to parents in correcting their children For well vsing this biting corasiue of correction parents must haue respect to the matter for which they doe correct and to their manner of correcting In regard of the matter these three things must be noted 1. That they be sure there is a fault committed that so there be iust cause of correcting else more hurt then good will proceed from thence If a corasiue be laid where there is no sore it will make one If correction be vniustly giuen it may prouoke to wrath but will doe little good This is it wherein earthly fathers are taxed and made vnlike to God for that many times they correct after their owne pleasure which is a point of great iniustice 2. That the fault be made knowne to the childe corrected and he apparantly conuinced thereof Correction must be for instruction which cannot be except the childe know why he is corrected for it is all one to him as if he were corrected for no fault if he know not his fault God thus a first proceeded with the serpent with Eue and with Adam Thus Iudges proceed in punishing malefactors Yea thus will men deale with a dog Should they not much more with a childe 3. That the faults be such especially as the parents can shew to their children if at least they be of so much discretion to be against Gods word as swearing lying pilfring and the like for 1. these are most dangerous faults and therefore more carefully to be purged out 2. the childe corrected will thus be the better euicted of his fault the more condemne himselfe and more contentedly beare the correction In regard of the manner of correcting foure generall and foure particular rules are to be obserued The generall rules are these 1. An eye must be had to Gods manner of correcting his children and in particular of Gods correcting the parent himselfe no better generall direction can be giuen for Gods patterne is a perfect rule 2. Prayer must be made by parents for themselues and for their children for themselues to be directed in doing it for their children to be bettered by it Thus will good Physitians in ministring physicke In all duties is prayer to be vsed especially in this for a parent is ready partly through his owne intemperate passion and partly through the childs impatiencie to fall into one extreme or other This is not to impose vpon all whensoeuer they take vp the rod to goe and make a solemne prayer but to lift vp the heart for direction and blessing 3. Correction must be giuen in loue All things must be done in loue much more this that carieth a shew of anger and hatred In loue they will giue physicke to their children and splinter a ioynt if need be God correcteth his children in loue so must parents Loue will make them doe it with tendernesse and compassion 4. Correction must be giuen in a milde moode when the affections are well ordered and not distempered with choler rage furie and other like passions Disturbed passions cast a mist before the vnderstanding so as a man cannot discerne what is enough what too much When passion is moued correction must be deferred God correcteth in measure The particular rules are these 1. Due order must be kept Correction by word must goe before correction by the rod. I rebuke and chasten saith the Lord. Thus a parent will shew that he taketh no delight in smiting his childe it is necessitie that forceth him thereunto Thus a parent sheweth himselfe like to God who doth not punish willingly Lam. 3. 33. Physitians when they minister strong physicke will giue a preparatiue rebuke may be as a preparatiue Good and pitifull Chirurgions will try all other meanes before they come to launce and seere 2. Due respect must be had to the partie corrected if he be young and tender the lighter correction must be vsed Solomon oft mentioneth a rod as meetest for a childe for that is the lightest correction So if the childe be of a flexible and ingenuous disposition soone sneapt the correction must accordingly be moderated If he be well growne and withall be stout and stubborne the correction may be more seuere 3. Due respect must be had to the fault Sinnes directly against God open notorious scandalous sinnes knowne sinnes sinnes often committed in which they are growne vp and whereof they haue gotten an habit are with greater seueritie to be corrected 4. A parent must behold his owne faults in correcting his childes so more compassion will be wrought in him §. 48. Of parents too much indulgency Contrary to this dutie of correcting are two extremes 1. Too much lenitie 2. Too much seueritie Many so cocker their children as they will suffer them to run into any misdemeanour rather then correct them They cannot endure to heare their children cry and therefore their children must be pleased in all their humours and euill desires These parents bring shame to themselues and mischiefe vpon their children for God is oft
nature the loue of God hath waxed cold in man and though the Saints be created againe according to that image of God yet while in this world they liue that image is not so perfect as it was the flesh remaineth in the best in which respect God hath fast fixed this affection of feare in mans heart and thereby both restraineth him from sinne and also prouoketh him vnto euery good dutie §. 5. Of the feare of God mouing vs to doe seruice to men Hauing briefly declared the nature obiect extent and vse of feare I returne to the point in hand viz. to shew 1. how it is here laid downe as a motiue to stirre vp men to performe the dutie here required for by this clause in the feare of the Lord the Apostle implieth that It is the feare of God which moueth men conscionably to submit themselues one to another This made Dauid so well to rule the people of God and Ioseph to deale so well with his brethren yea this is noted to be the cause of the righteous regiment of Christ himselfe Well did that good King Iehosaphat know this and therefore when he appointed Iudges ouer his people as a motiue to stirre them vp to execute the iudgements of the Lord aright he saith vnto them Let the feare of the Lord be vpon you So also S. Peter to moue subiects to honour their King prefixeth this exhortation Feare God By feare of man may one be brought to submit himselfe to another as a magistrate may be moued to deale iustly and mildly with his people through feare of insurrections and rebellions subiects may by seuere lawes and tyrannie be brought to submit themselues and so other inferiours also by threats by hard vsage and other by-respects 1. Though feare of man be a motiue yet it followeth not that therefore feare of God should be no motiue it may be another motiue and a better motiue 2. The submission which is performed through feare of man is a forced and a slauish submission nothing acceptable to God but that which is performed through a true filiall feare of God is a free willing ready cheerefull conscionable submission such a submission as will stirre vs vp to doe the best good we can thereby vnto them to whom we submit our selues and so is more acceptable to God by reason of the cause thereof and more profitable vnto man by reason of the effect and fruit thereof For a true feare of God maketh vs more respect what God requireth and commandeth than what our corrupt heart desireth and suggesteth It subdueth our vnruly passions and bringeth them within compasse of dutie It maketh vs deny our selues and our owne desires and though through the corruption of our nature and inborne pride we be loth to submit yet will Gods feare bring downe that proud minde and make vs humble and gentle It will keepe those who are in authoritie from tyranny crueltie and ouer-much seueritie and it will keepe those who are vnder subiection from dissimulation deceit and priuie conspiracies Behold how necessarie it is that a true feare of the Lord be planted in mens hearts in the hearts of Kings and all Gouernours in the hearts of subiects and all people whether superiours or inferiours Where no feare of God is there will be no good submission vnto man Abraham thought that the men of Gerar would haue no respect to him or his wife nor make conscience of common honestie nor abstaine from innocent bloud because he saw no feare of God in that place and the Apostle hauing reckoned vp many notorious effects of mans naturall corruption concludeth all with this as the cause of all There is no feare of God before their eyes Wherefore let Magistrates Parents Masters and all in authoritie haue especiall care that their subiects children seruants and all vnder them may be taught and brought to feare the Lord. I dare auouch it that such inferiours which are taught to feare God will doe better seruiee to their superiours than such as feare their superiours only as men and feare not God Let Ministers especially vrge and presse vpon the consciences of men a feare of God Let all inferiours pray that the feare of the Lord may be planted in the hearts of their superiours that so they may liue a quiet and peaceable life in all godlinesse and honestie vnder them Happie is that kingdome where Magistrates and subiects feare the Lord. Happie is that Church where Ministers and people feare the Lord. Happie is that family where husband and wife parents and children master and seruants feare the Lord. In such a Kingdome Church and family will euery one to the mutuall good one of another submit themselues one to another But if such as feare not God submit themselues whether they be superiours or inferiours it is for their owne ends and aduantages and not for their good to whom they submit themselues §. 6. Of limiting all dutie to man within the compasse of the feare of God Againe as this clause In the feare of the Lord declareth the manner of submission it sheweth that No submission is to be performed vnto man but that which may stand with the feare of God Whereby we shew that we haue respect to God and labour aboue all to approue our selues to him Thus Dauid is commanded to rule in the feare of God and other Magistrates to performe their dutie in the feare of the Lord which Nehemiah that good Gouernour was carefull to doe So also subiects are to obey in the feare of the Lord which the Apostle implieth by prefixing this precept Feare God before that Honour the King as if he had said so honour the King as in and thereby you may manifest your feare of God let not this latter crosse the former Seruants likewise are commanded to be obedient vnto their Masters with this prouiso fearing the Lord. Such phrases as these For the Lords sake As vnto the Lord In the Lord As seruants of Christ with the like being annexed to the duties of inferiours doe imply as much Great reason there is that all seruice should be limited with the feare of God for God is the highest Lord to whom all seruice primarily and principally is due whatsoeuer seruice is due to any man high or low is due in and for the Lord. The Lord hath set superiours in the places of eminencie wherein they beare the image of God The Lord also hath set inferiours in their places and commended them as his charge to the gouernment of those who are ouer them He that obeyeth not those who are ouer him in the feare of God sheweth no respect of Gods image and he who gouerneth not those who are vnder him in the feare of God sheweth no respect of Gods charge Besides God is that great Iudge to whom all of all sorts superiours and inferiours are
father and master Thus is their breach of dutie a double fault one in respect of the party whom they wrong and to whom they denie dutie the other in respect of those to whom they giue occasion of sinning Know therefore O husbands and wiues that yee aboue all other in the familie are most bound vnto a conscionable performance of your dutie Greater will your condemnation be if you faile therein Looke to it aboue the rest and by your example draw on your children and seruants if you haue any to performe their duties which surely they will more readily do when they shall behold you as guides going before them and making conscience of your ioynt and seuerall duties §. 10. Of the Apostles order in setting downe inferiours duties in the first place In handling the duties of the first forenamed couple the Apostle beginneth with wiues and layeth downe their particular duties in the first place The reason of this order I take to be the inferiority of the wife to her husband I doe the rather take it so to be because I obserue this to be his vsuall method and order first to declare the duties of inferiours and then of superiours For in handling the duties of children and parents and of seruants and masters he beginneth with the inferiours both in this and in other Epistles which order also S. Peter obserueth yea the law it selfe doth in the first place and that expresly mention the inferiours dutie only implying the superiours to follow as a iust consequence which is this If the inferiour must giue honour and by vertue thereof performe such duties as appertaine thereto then must the superiour carrie himselfe worthy of honour and by vertue thereof performe answerable duties Quest Why should inferiours duties be more fully expressed and placed in the first ranke Answ Surely because for the most part inferiours are most vnwilling to vndergoe the duties of their place Who is not more ready to rule than to be subiect I denie not but that it is a farre more difficult and hard matter to gouerne well than to obey well For to rule and gouerne requireth more knowledge experience wisdome care watchfulnesse diligence and other like vertues than to obey and be subiect He that obeyeth hath his rule laid before him which is the will and command of his superiour in things lawfull and not against Gods will But the superiour who commandeth is to consider not only what is lawfull but also what is most fit meet conuenient and euery way the best yea also he must forecast for the time to come and so farre as he can obserue whether that which is now for the present meet enough may not be dangerous for the time to come and in that respect vnmeet to be vrged Whence it followeth that the superiour in authoritie may sinne in commanding that which the inferiour in subiection may vpon his command doe without sinne Who can iustly charge Ioab with sinne in numbring the people when Dauid vrged him by vertue of his authoritie so to doe Yet did Dauid sinne in commanding it Without all question Saul did sin in charging the people by an oath to eat no food the day that they pursued their enemies a time when they had most need to be refreshed with food as Ionathans words implie and yet did not the people sinne in forbearing witnesse the euent that followed on Ionathans eating though he knew not his fathers charge Who seeth not hereby that it is a matter of much more difficultie to rule well than to obey which is yet further euident by Gods wise disposing prouidence in ordering who should gouerne who obey Commonly the younger for age the weaker for sex the meaner for estate the more ignorant for vnderstanding with the like are in places of subiection but the elder stronger wealthier wiser and such like persons are for the most part or at least should be in place of authority Woe to thee ô land saith Salomon when thy king is a childe And Isaiah denounceth it as a curse to Israel that children shall be their Princes and babes shall rule ouer them and complaineth that women had rule ouer the people Now to returne to the point though it be so that gouernours haue the heauiest burden laid on their shoulders yet inferiours that are under subiection thinke their burden the heauiest and are lothest to beare it and most willing to cast it away For naturally there is in euery one much pride and ambition which as dust cast on the eies of their vnderstanding putteth out the sight thereof and so maketh them affect superiority and authority ouer others and to be stubborne vnder the yoke of subiection which is the cause that in all ages both by diuine and also by humane lawes penalties and punishments of diuers kinds haue beene ordained to keepe inferiours in compasse of their dutie and yet such is the pride of mans heart all will not serue What age what place euer was there which hath not iust cause to complaine of subiects rebellion seruants stubbornnesse childrens disobedience wiues presumption Not without cause therefore doth the Apostle first declare the duties of inferiours Besides the Apostle would hereby teach those who are vnder authority how to moue them that are in authority ouer them to deale equally and kindly not hardly and cruelly with them namely by endeuouring to performe their owne dutie first For what is it that prouoketh wrath rage and fury in gouernours What maketh them that haue authority to deale roughly and rigorously is it not for the most part disobedience and stoutnesse in those that are vnder gouernment though some in authority be so proud so sauage and inhumane as no honour done to them no performance of duty can satisfie and content them but they will as Dauids enemies reward euill for goodnesse yet the best generall direction that can be prescribed to inferiours to prouoke their gouernours to deale well with them is that inferiours themselues be carefull and conscionable in doing their duty first If their gouernours on earth be nothing moued therewith yet will the highest Lord in heauen graciously accept it Lastly men must first learne to obey well before they can rule well for they who scorne to be subiect to their gouernours while they are vnder authority are like to proue intolerably insolent when they are in authority Learne all that are vnder authority how to win your gouernours fauour how to make your yoke easie and your burden light how to preuent many mischiefes which by reason of the power of your superiours ouer you may otherwise fall vpon you First doe ye your duty There are many weighty reasons to moue gouernours first to begin to doe their dutie For First by vertue of their authority they beare Gods image therefore in doing their duty they honour that image Secondly by
For the Sonne of God assuming an humane nature into the vnity of his diuine nature and vniting them together without confusion alteration distraction separation in one person that which is done by one nature is done by the person and in that respect the Scripture oft attributeth it to the other nature as where it is said They crucified the Lord of glorie and God purchased the Churchwith his owne bloud 2. Though the diuine nature of Christ suffered not yet did it support the humane nature and adde dignity worth and efficacie to the sufferings of that nature 3. Christs diuine nature had proper and peculiar workes in the worke of redemption as to sanctifie his humane nature to take away our sinnes to reconcile vs to God and the like Thus then in three respects the whole person of Christ was giuen vnto vs. 1. In regard of the inseparable vnion of both natures 2. In regard of the assistance of the Deity in those things which the humane nature of Christ did 3. In regard of some proper actions appertaining to the Deity In that the person of Christ God-Man was giuen vp I gather that The price of our Redemption is of infinite value Nor Christ nor God himselfe could giue a greater Heauen and earth and all things in them are not of like worth Well therefore might Saint Peter call it pretious bloud and prefer it before siluer gold and all other things of price 1. What place can be left for despaire in those that know and beleeue the worth of this ransome 2. What can be held too deare for him that notwithstanding the infinite excellency of his person gaue himselfe for vs can goods can friends can children can liberty can life can any thing else 3. What iust cause haue we to giue vp our selues a liuing sacrifice holy and acceptable to him that gaue himselfe for vs 4. How vngratefull how vnworthy of Christ are they that for his sake will not forsake their vnstable honours fading wealth vaine pleasures garish attire and such like trash §. 32. Of Christs seeking the good of the Church The End why Christ gaue himselfe was for the Church so as Christ in his death aimed at our good He was made sinne for vs that we might be made the righteousnesse of God in him he was made a curse for vs and hath redeemed vs from the curse of the Law he gaue himselfe for our sinnes that he might deliuer vs he laid downe his life for the sheepe This proues Christs giuing of himselfe to be a fruit of his loue for Loue seeketh not her owne Learne we hereby to apply all that Christ did to our selues If for vs he gaue himself he and all appertaining to him is ours Learne we also hereby how to manifest loue namely by seeking and procuring the good of others Let no man seeke his owne but euery man anothers wealth If this were practised would there be such oppressing such vndermining such deceiuing such wronging of one another as there is Too truly is the Apostles complaint verified in our daies All seeke their owne But let that minde be in vs which was in Christ Iesus and thus manifest our loue as we desire to partake of this fruit of Christs loue From hence by iust consequence it followeth that Christ merited not for himselfe Was there any need that Christ should come downe from heauen on earth to purchase any thing for himselfe When he was going out of the world thus he praied Now O Father glorifie thou me with the glorie which I had with thee before the world was Did Christ by any thing which he did on earth merit that glorie which he had before the world was All the exaltation whereunto he was aduanced euen in his human nature was due to the dignity of his person 1. Obiect He endured the crosse for the ioy which was set before him Answ He vsed that ioy which of right was due to him as an helpe to support him in the weaknesse of his humane nature not as a recompence which he should deserue 2. Obiect He became obedient to the death of the Crosse WHEREFORE God also hath highly exalted him Answ That particle wherefore doth not declare the cause but the order of his exaltation nothing a consequence that followed after his death After he had humbled himselfe so low he was most highly aduanced 3. Obiect Christ being man was bound to the Law and therefore for himselfe he ought to fulfill it Answ If he had beene meere man that were true But he vniting his humane nature vnto his diuine and making of both one person which person was God as well as man he was bound to nothing further then it pleased him voluntarily to subiect himselfe vnto for our sakes 2. If Christ were bound to the Law of dutie he must haue fulfilled it and if of dutie he was to fulfill it how could he thereby merit so high a degree of honour as he is aduanced vnto This conceit of Christs meriting for himselfe doth much extenuate the glorie of Christs grace and goodnesse in giuing himselfe §. 33. Of the particular ends why Christ gaue himselfe and of the condition of the Church before Christ tooke her EPHES. 5. 26. That he might sanctifie it and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word THe generall End of Christs giuing himselfe being before intimated in this phrase for vs is in this and the next verse particularly exemplified and that in two branches One respecteth the estate of the Church in this world v. 26. The other respecteth her estate in the world to come v. 27. The latter of these two is the most principall The former is subordinate to the latter an end for the accomplishing of the other end for the Church is here made pure that hereafter it may be made glorious In laying downe the former he noteth 1. The end whereat Christ aimed 2. The meanes wherby he effected that which he aimed at That end is set forth in these words that he might sanctifie it hauing cleansed it thus may they word for word be translated so as that which for order of words is in the latter place for order of matter is in the first place The word cleansing pointeth out our instification The word sanctifying expresseth our sanctification The meanes of effecting these are two 1. Baptisme comprised vnder this phrase washing of water 2. The word The two branches of the former end namely Cleansing and Sanctifying doe in generall imply two things 1. The Condition of the Church in it selfe 2. The Alteration thereof by Christ The condition is presupposed which is that she was impure polluted in the common estate of corrupt man Things in themselues pure are not cleansed but things foule and impure persons of themselues freed and exempted from a common misery need not anothers helpe to free and
â—nd inuited to their feast Iesus his mother and his Disciples Such as Iesus will minister occasion of sauourie and sanctified communication whereby all the guests may be much edified â—uch as the virgin Mary will be a good example of modesty â—brietie and other like Christian graces Such as the Disciples will be farre from scorning and deriding wholsome and â—ood instructions but rather giue all diligent heed thereunto â—â—d lay them vp in their hearts Aboue all that the mirth and ioy of mariage be not dampt as Belshazzars was let them that are maried and all that come to reioyce with them be sure that they haue true assurance of their spirituall mariage with Christ and of a good right in him to the creatures which they vse Otherwise their sinnes will be as that hand-writing which appeared to Belshazzar on the wall Finally in regard of that libertie which God giueth with plentie and abundance to eat of the fat and drinke of the sweet let the poore that scarce haue sufficiencie be remembred Thus by a right celebrating of mariage is it much honoured and man and wife with much honour are brought together §. 23. Of the honour of mariage in regard of the first institution thereof Great reason there is why mariage should with such honour be solemnized For it is a most honourable thing Honourable in the institution ends priuiledges and mysterie thereof No ordinance was more honourable in the first institution thereof as is euident by the Author thereof the Place where it was instituted the Time when it was instituted the Persons who were first maried and the Manner of ioyning them together 1. The Author and first Institutor of mariage was the Lord God Could there haue beene a greater or any way a more excellent Author 2. The Place was Paradise the most faire glorious pleasant honourable commodious and euery way most excellent place that euer was in this world Place though it be but a circumstance addeth much to the honour of a thing Solemat ordinances are made in honourable places Thus with vs mariages are solemnized in Churches not in priuate houses 3. The Time was the most pure and perfect time that euer was in the world when no sinne or pollution of man had stained it euen the time of mans innocencie Puritie addeth much to the honour of a thing 4. The Persons were the most honourable that euer were euen the first father and mother of all mankinde they who had an absolute power and dominion ouer all creatures and to whom all were subiect None but they euer had a true monarchy ouer the whole world 5. The Manner was with as great deliberation as euer was vsed in instituting any ordinance For first the three glorious persons in the Trinity doe meet to aduise about it For The Lord God said and to whom should he speake not to any created power but to him that was begotten of himselfe that Wonderfull Counseller c. In this consultation this ordinance is found to be very needfull It is not good for man to be alone thereupon a determination is set downe to make an helpe meet for man For the better effecting hereof the Lord proceedeth thereto very deliberatly by sundry steps and degrees 1. All the creatures that liued on the earth or breathed in the aire are brought before man to see if an helpe meet for him might be found among them 2. Euery of them being thorowly viewed and found vnfit another creature is made and that out of mans substance and side and after his image 3. This excellent creature thus made is by the maker therof presented to man to see how he would like it 4. Man manifesting a good liking to her she is giuen to him to be his wife 5. The inuiolable law of the neere and firme vnion of man and wife together is enacted Let all the forenamed branches concerning the first institution of mariage expresly recorded by the holy Ghost be well weighed and we shall easily see that there is no ordinance now in force among the sonnes of men so honourable in the institution thereof as this §. 24. Of the Ends of Mariage 2. The Ends for which mariage was ordained adde much to the honour thereof They are especially three 1. That the world might be increased and not simply increased but with a legitimate brood and distinct families which are the seminaries of cities and common-wealths Yea also that in the world the Church by an holy seed might be preserued and propagated Mal. 2. 15. 2. That men might auoid fornication 1 Cor. 7. 2. and possesse their vessels in holinesse and honour In regard of that pronenesse which is in mans corrupt nature to lust this end addeth much to the honour of mariage It sheweth that mariage is as an hauen to such as are in ieopardy of their saluation through the gusts of temptations to lust No sinne is more hereditary none whereof more children of Adam doe partake then this Well might Christ say Mat. 19. 11 all men receiue not this saying Of all the children of Adam that euer were not one to a million of those that haue come to ripenesse of yeares haue beene true Eunuches all their life time Against this hereditary disease no remedie is so soueraigne as this Yea for those that haue not the gift of continency this is the only warranted and sanctified remedy 3. That man and wife might be a mutuall helpe one to another Gen. 2. 18. An helpe as for bringing forth so for bringing vp children and as for erecting so for well gouerning their family An helpe also for well ordering prosperity and well bearing aduersity An helpe in health and sicknesse An helpe while both liue together and when one is by death taken from the other In this respect it is said Pro. 18. 22. who so findeth a wife findeth a good thing which by the rule of relation is true also of an husband No such helpe can man haue from any other creature as from a wife or a woman as from an husband §. 25. Of the Priuileges of mariage III. If as once of circumcision it be demanded what is the priuilege aduantage and profit of mariage I answer Much euery way 1. By it men and women are made Husbands and Wiues 2. It is the only lawfull meanes to make them Fathers and Mothers 3. It is the ordinarie meanes to make them Masters and Mistresses All these are great dignities wherein the image and glorie of God consisteth 4. It is the most effectuall meanes of continuing a mans name and memory in this world that can be Children are liuing monuments and liuely representations of their parents 5. Many priuileges haue of old beene granted to such as were maried In pleading causes or giuing sentence they had the first place and in choice of offices they were preferred In meetings they had the vpper hand And if they
vnto as if they had neuer beene ioined to a former The liuing husband or wife is the present pledge of Gods fauour He is now thine owne husband and she is now thine owne wife and not the partie that is dead I denie not but the memorie of a vertuous husband or wife ought to be pretious to the suruiuing partie for the memoriall of the iust is blessed But as the vertue of a person deceased may not be buried with the dead corps so neither may the person be kept aboue ground with the memorie of his or her vertue which after a sort is done when loue of the partie deceased either taketh away or extenuateth the loue of the liuing This is to giue dominion to the dead ouer the liuing which is more then the law enioyneth §. 11. Of husbands and wiues mutuall hatred contrary to loue There is a generation of so crabbed and crooked a disposition as they cannot loue but rather hate one another because they are man and wife for many husbands hauing wiues and wiues husbands euery way worthy to be loued will notwithstanding say to the astonishment of the hearers I haue indeed a good husband or I haue a good wife but I cannot loue him or I cannot loue her and being demanded a reason sticke not openly and impudently to reply I thinke I could loue him if he were not mine husband or I thinke I could loue her if she were not my wife O more then monstrous impudencie Is not this directly to oppose against Gods ordinance and against that order which he hath set betwixt man and woman Is it not to trample vnder foot Gods fauour Though there were nothing else to moue loue but this that such an one is thine husband or such an one is thy wife yet this should be motiue enough And shall this be the ground of thine hatred Assuredly such a spirit is a plaine diabolicall spirit contrary to that spirit which is from aboue and if it be not cast out it will cast those whom it possesseth into the fire of hell §. 12. Of mutuall peace betwixt Man and Wife Among other meanes of maintaining an inward louing affection betwixt man and wife outward mutuall peace concord and agreement is one of the principall Whereupon the Apostle exhorteth to keepe the vnitie of the spirit in the bond of peace for peace is a bond that tieth one to another and maketh them to be as one euen one in spirit as on the contrary side outward discord disunites mens spirits We are enioined to follow peace with all men how much more of all persons ought husbands to haue peace with their wiues and wiues with their husbands they are neerer then brothers and sisters Behold then how good and pleasant a thing it is for them to dwell together in vnity Dwell together they must but without peace there is no dwelling together It is better to dwell in a corner of the house top then with a contentious woman in a wide house Persons at variance were farre better be out of sight and place then present together Out of sight and place man and wife must not be at peace therefore they must be Mutuall peace betwixt them is a great refreshing to their mindes being beaten with the discords of others It is said that a wife is in this respect as an hauen to man how much more man to his wife If the hauen be calme and free from stormes and tempests what a refreshing will it be to the Mariner that hath beene tossed in the sea with windes and waues For maintaining peace 1. All offences so much as possibly may be must be auoided The husband must be watchfull ouer himselfe that he giue no offence to his wife and so the wife on the other side Offences cause contentions 2. When an offence is giuen by the one partie it must not be taken by the other but rather passed by and then will not peace be broken The second blow makes the fray 3. If both be incensed together the fire is like to be the greater with the greater speed therefore must they both labour to put it out Wrath must not lie in bed with two such bed-fellowes neither may they part beds for wrath sake That this fire may be the sooner quenched they must both striue first to offer reconciliation Theirs is the glory who doe first begin for they are most properly the blessed peacemakers Not to accept peace when it is offered is more then heathenish but when wrath is incensed to seeke atonement is the dutie of a Christian and a grace that commeth from aboue 4. Children seruants nor any other in the family must be bolstred vp by the one against the other The mans partaking with any of the house against his wife or the wiues against her husband is an vsuall cause of contention betwixt man and wife 5. They must forbeare to twit one another in the teeth with the husbands or wiues of other persons or with their owne former husbands or wiues in case they haue had any before Comparisons in this kinde are very odious They stir vp much passion and cause great contentions 6. Aboue all they must take heed of rash and vniust iealousie which is the bane of mariage and greatest cause of discontent that can be giuen betwixt man and wife Iealous persons are ready to picke quarrels and to seeke occasions of discord they will take euery word looke action and motion in the worse part and so take offence where none is giuen When iealousie is once kindled it is as a flaming fire that can hardly be put out It maketh the partie whom it possesseth implacable 7. In all things that may stand with a good conscience they must endeuour to please one another and either of them suffer their owne will to be crossed rather then discontent to be giuen to the other Saint Paul noteth this as a common mutuall dutie belonging to them both and expresseth their care thereof vnder a word that signifieth more then ordinarie care and implieth a diuiding of the minde into diuers thoughts casting this way and that way and euery way how to giue best content §. 13. Of contentions betwixt man and wife Contrary to mutuall peace are contentions betwixt man and wife which are too frequent in most families and by which the common good is much hindered Discord betwixt man and wife in an house is as contention betwixt the master and pilot in a ship may not great danger and much mischiefe be thence iustly feared We heard before that man to his wife and she to him is as an hauen Now by experience we finde that if the hauen be tempestuous it is much more troublesome and dangerous to the Mariner then the wide sea Wherefore let man and wife be of the same minde one to another as Abraham was to Lot and when
they are vnder their parents gouernment For that time the consent of parents is not only meet but necessarie and that for these reasons 1. Children are as the goods of their parents wholly in their power to be ordered and disposed by them On this ground Satan hauing all that Iob had put into his hand tooke libertie ouer his children as well as ouer his goods and chattell 2. Children while they be vnder gouernment euen the eldest that are heires differ nothing from seruants 3. By Gods law giuen to the Iewes parents had power to sell their children 4. Parents had power to disanull such things as children had done Instance the case of a vow made to God which was one of the most inuiolable things that one could doe Contrary is the opinion and practise of many who hold parents consent at the most but a matter of conueniencie that it is good if children will to haue their parents consent if they haue it not the matter is not great their contracts or other things which they doe are as firme and good without as with their consents If this were so wherein is the authoritie of a parent more then of a wise experienced friend It is meet and good to haue such an ones consent But that the power of parents and dutie of children in this point may the better be seene I will exemplifie it in fiue particular cases 1. Entring into a calling 2. Making mariage 3. Disposing of goods 4. Ordering apparell 5. Making vowes §. 13. Of consent of parents for childrens entring into a calling I. That children ought to haue the consent of their parents in making choise of their calling and not place themselues as they please is euident by the approued practise of the Saints recorded in Gods word Iaakob was sent by his parents to Laban to be educated vnder him Dauid was appointed by his father to keep sheepe when Saul was desirous to haue Dauid attend vpon him he sent to Ishai Dauids father for him In that Ishai was â—o carefull to send prouision to his three eldest sons that followed Saul to the warre we may well thinke that they went to the warre with his consent It is noted of Ionadab that he appointed his â—onnes to dwell in tents and that accordingly they did so and are â—ommended and rewarded for this their obedience It is collected â—oth by ancient and later Diuines that our Lord Iesus Christ 〈◊〉 his younger yeeres before he began to exercise his publike ministerie occupied himselfe in his fathers trade and that this was â—â—e thing wherein he manifested his subiection to his parents This collection is made by comparing Luk. 2. 51. where his subâ—â—ction is noted with Mar. 6. 3. and Mat. 13. 55. where he is calâ—â—d the Carpenter and the Carpenters sonne Equitie requireth that parents should haue an hand in placing â—â—th their children because they brought them forth into the â—orld and brought them vp with much care paines and charge â—hile they were young and till they were fit for a calling Besides Godhath laid it as a charge vpon parents that they â—ould see their children well trained vp great reason therefore at parents consent be had in setting forth children to a calling §. 14. Of the vnlawfulnesse of childrens entring into religious orders without consent of parents Contrary is the opinion of Papists who say that children may â—er into religious orders not only without consent but also aâ—â—â—nst the minde and good like of their parents Whereby they 〈◊〉 not only patronize apparent disobedience in children against the expresse word of God but also disable children from helping their parents in case of necessitie for both which Christ rebuked the Scribes and Pharisies in a like case Obiect Papists doe grant that if parents be in such necessitie as they cannot liue without their childrens helpe their children may not by entring into any religious order forsake their parents For they are bound by the law of God to succour their parents Answ 1. This caution hath beene extorted from them by euidence of argument taken from Gods word and pressed by their aduersaries 2. It toucheth not the principall argument taken from Gods precept which they make of none effect by this their tradition 3. Though parents be not at that present when children first enter into their religious order in such extreme need yet they may be afterwards But after that children are once entred they hold it vtterly vnlawfull that children for any necessitie of the parent should attend vpon them for their succour Obiect Children being entred into religious orders may helpe them as becommeth religious persons by their praiers to God Answ 1. This is iumpe the Pharisies Corban whereof Christ maketh mention Mar. 7. 11. and whereby he notably discouereth the hypocrisie of the Pharisies who made pretence of religion an hinderance to that obedience which God required of children 2. To pray for that which a man indeuoureth not to doe when he may doe it is a plaine mocking of God The arguments which they alledge for confirmation of their erroneous opinion are taken from extraordinary examples or from mysticall resemblances as 1. Abrahams leauing his fathers house 2. Leuies speech of his father and mother who said I haue not seene him 3. The aduice giuen to the royall Queene Forget thy fathers house 4. The triall of our loue of Christ by louing him more then father or mother 5. Christs forbidding one that followed him to goe and burie his father Answ 1. For Abrahams example 1. it cannot be proued that he left his fathers house without the consent of his father 2. He was then maried and so of another house 3. He had an expresse particular charge of God to leaue his fathers house euen as he had to sacrifice his sonne Except the like charge can be shewed his example maketh nothing to the purpose 2. For Leuies speech 1. It was noted by Moses in relation to a particular zealous fact of the Leuites in executing the vengeance of the Lord and so to be reckoned among such extraordinary things as are not exemplary 2. That which moued the Leuites to make no difference betwixt their parents and others was the Lords cause their parents and kindred as well as others had notoriously sinned against God and in that respect the Leuites took no notice of them But they are not such parents which Papists teach children to forsake but any parents Now what consequence is this Some children haue been Gods Ministers in executing iust punishment on their wicked parents therefore children may enter into such places as shall exempt them from helping any parents though well deseruing 3. The Leuites had an expresse charge for that which they did but that which Papists inferre from their example doth make the commandement of God of none effect 3. For
well as they can the storme of their parents displeasure To preuent such contempt of the power of parents and to establish that authority which God hath giuen them ouer their children mariages without or against parents consent as aforesaid are in many Churches made voide §. 17. Of the equity of the point and reasons why children should haue their parents consent vnto their marriage 1. By mariage children are put from their parents for Man must leaue his Father and Mother and cleaue vnto his wife Is it not then great reason that they from whom children had their being and by whom they haue beene maintained and trained vp till the time of their mariage should haue notice of that kind of leauing them and consent thereto 2. A parents power by the marriage of his childe is passed ouer to the husband or wife of the childe And shall such a power be taken away without consent of parent 3. Children for the most part being heady and rash for want of experience and seeking more to satisfie their present carnall desire then to prouide a good lasting helpe for themselues but parents by the instinct of nature louing their children as well as children loue themselues and hauing by much experience better vnderstanding of a meete helpe and better able to vse their discerning gift in this case because it is not their owne case and yet the case of one whom they loue as themselues and to whom they wish as much good as to themselues is it not meete euen for the childs good that in a matter of such moment as mariage the parent should haue a stroake §. 18. Of a childs cariage in case a parent prouide an vnfit mate or none at all Quest What if parents vrge their children to marry such as they can not affect and loue must children therein against their minde and liking yeeld obedience Answ If there be no iust exception against the partie commended they ought with the vttermost of their power to endeauour to bring their affection to the bent of their parents will and as an helpe thereunto be perswaded that their parents are as carefull of their good as they themselues are and wiser then themselues yea aboue all they ought to make instant prayer vnto God in whose hand mans heart is to turne it whither soeuer he will that he would be pleased to alter the course of their affection and to settle it on the party whom their parent hath chosen for them if at least they see no iust cause to the contrary But if notwithstanding all the meanes that they can vse they still finde their heart altogether auerse they may in a reuerend manner entreat their parent to forbeare to presse that match and to thinke of some other 2. Quest What if the parent be negligent and in due time prouide no fit match may not the childe prouide one for himselfe Answ A parents negligence is not a sufficient pretext to make a child cast off that subiection which he oweth to his parent Yet I deny not but that a childe knowing where a fit match is to be had may make knowne as much to his parent as Sampson did and craue both his consent and help thereunto And if his parent giue no eare to his humble suit he may vse the mediation of his kindred or other friends Yea if necessity require that the childe be married and his parent adde wilfulnesse to negligence and will not be moued at all neither by the humble suit of his childe nor by the earnest solicitation of any friends meanes may be made to the Magistrate who is in Gods place ouer the parent as well as ouer the childe and ought to afford releefe vnto the childe and what the Magistrate doth in that case is as good a warrant to the childe as if the parent had done it The like meanes may be vsed if a parent be an Idolater Hereticke or Atheist and will not yeeld that his childe be married to any but to one of his owne profession and disposition §. 19. Of the sinne of Children in marrying without their parents consent Contrary is the minde and practise of such children as ouer lightly esteeming their parents power take matches of their owne choice and that sometimes priuily without giuing any notice at all to their parents and sometimes most rebelliously against their parents mind and charge not much vnlike those who in the old world are condemned for taking wiues of all that they chose which was one branch of that wickednesse for which the world was drowned or rather like Esau who tooke such wiues as proued a griefe to his parents What blessing can be expected to fall vpon such mariages or rather what curse may not be feared to follow them Gods law is transgressed thereby his Image in parents despised that which is more proper to them then any goods or fraudulently or violently taken from them their soules grieued thereat and they oft prouoked to cast off their children and curse their mariages Now Gods curse doth oft follow the iust curse of a parent §. 20. Of obiections for childrens marrying without parents consent answered 1. Obiect Though Iaakob married one wife according to his parents direction yet he married other three at least the two maides without their consent 1. Answ Iaakobs example in marrying more wiues then one is not iustifiable 2. Answ Iaakob had a generall consent of his parents to take a wife of the daughters of Laban if therefore his marying of two wiues had beene lawfull neither this nor that daughter had beene taken without all consent of his parents As for the two maids of whom he had children neither of them was his wife for long after they had children they are called his maids and distinguished from his wiues 2. Obiect Seruants may mary without their masters consent why then not children without their parents 1. Answ It is not lawfull for seruants so to doe while the â—ate of their couenant lasteth 2. Answ Though the seruitude of a seruant be greater â—hen of a childe yet a parent hath in many respects a greater â—ower ouer his childe then a master ouer his seruant The â—ower which a master hath is by a mutuall couenant betwixt him and his seruant and by the voluntary subiection of a serâ—ant vnto his master But the power of a parent is by the bond of nature in that a childe hath his being from his parents Beâ—ides this subiection of a childe to his parents in case of marriage is not for seruitude but for the good of the childe 3. Obiect Children marry for themselues and not for their parents why then should parents consent be so much stood vpon 1. Answ Though they marie not for their parents yet they marie from their parents by mariage they are freed from the power of their parents 2. Answ Children are not their owne they
to be too strict and precise or too suspicious and iealous or too couetous and worldly This maketh them take what callings what matches what apparrell what allowance they thinke best whence many mischiefes arise which would all easily be auoided if they would lay downe that presumptuous conceit and labour to obserue the forenamed direction §. 36. Of childrens yeelding to practise at their parents command such things as in their iudgements they cannot thinke very meet 2. Though children cannot in their iudgements thinke that which their parents require to be the fittest and meetest yet being pressed thereto by the peremptory command of their parents in practise they ought to yeeld vnto it saying to their parents as Peter to the Lord Neuerthelesse at thy word I will doe this Thus did Iaakob yeeld to Rebekah he thought by doing that which his mother bid him he should seeme a â—â—ocker to his father yet she vrging him he did it Quest May not a childe yeelding better reason then his parent refuse to doe what he thinketh vnmeet or at least forâ—eare to doe what he is commanded till he be better informed â—f the meetnesse thereof Answ With reuerence and humility he may render his reason why he thinketh it not meete and desire his parent not to vrge it vpon him This did Iudah one of the sonnes of Iaakob and is not blamed for it and parents ought in such a case to yeeld to their children as Iaakob did But yet if in things indifferent parents be otherwise minded then their children and will haue their children yeeld to them they must yeeld For 1. In in different things the command of a parent is a warrant to the childe by reason of this extent all things so as the parent may sinne in commanding that in doing whereof the childe may not sinne Who can cleare Rebeckah of sinne in commanding Iaakob to deceiue his father yet I take it that Iaakob cannot iustly be blamed for obeying 2. Children doe thus manifest an high esteeme of their parents and very great respect towards them they shew how desirous they are to please them and how fearefull to offend them When the will of parent and childe consent there is no such triall 3. By this meanes peace and loue is better preserued betwixt parent and childe a parents anger is stopped the effects thereof auoided and many other mischiefes preuented which oft fall out when inferiours refuse to yeeld to their superiours who haue authority ouer them Contrary is their preposterous peremptorines who will doe nothing against their own mind will though their parents require it neuer so much This phrase If thou wilt not send we will not goe downe which Iudah vsed to his father though in a good cause was too peremptory for a childe They who obstinately refuse to doe those things which are against their owne minde must needs come short of this extent Obey in all things Yea they shew that what they doe is rather for their owne sakes because they like it then for their parents sake What obedience then may that be thought to be Yet this is all the obedience which many children will yeeld If they thinke not that which their parents require to be meet nor faire nor foule meanes shall moue them to doe it whereby many children doe much prouoke their parents Let such children know that it is euery way more safe for them at the instant command of their parent to doe that which they conceiue to be vnmeet then peremptorily to disobey their parents which is more then vnmeet euen vnlawfull §. 37. Of the restraint of childrens obedience The restraint of childrens obedience is expressed in this clause in the Lord which phrase affordeth a necessary limitation in obeying their parents who are but parents of our flesh men and women subiect to erre in their commandements and to require such sinfull things as their children may not with a good conscience performe The limitation then which the forenamed clause in the Lord affordeth is this Children must performe no other obedience to their parents then may stand with their obedience to God The reasons rendred by the Apostle proue as much This is right this is well pleasing to the Lord. But to obey parents against the Lord is neither right nor wellpleasing to the Lord. If therefore parents command their children to doe any thing which the Lord hath forbidden them they ought not to doe it On this ground did Michal well in suffering her husband Dauid to escape out of the handes of Saul her father I iustifie not her manner of carying the matter with vntruths and false tales but her refusing to yeeld to her fathers minde and will is iustifiable and that in two respects 1. In that the difference was betwixt her husband and father Now by Gods law a wife is to yeeld to her husband rather then to her father 2. Because she knew her father sought to slay him if then she had deliuered him into the hands of her father she had made her selfe accessary to murder In this latter respect Ioâ—â—athan also did well in refusing to fetch Dauid at his fathers command Thus if a father command his childe to goe to Masse to forsweare himselfe to marry an Idolater to steale to lie or to commit any other sinne forbidden by God the childe ought not to obey those things cannot be done in the Lord. Againe if parents forbid their children the doing of any necessary duty commanded of God the childe ought to doe it notwithstanding the parents inhibition We may well thinke that Ahaz who set himselfe so violently to deface the holy things of God to prophane his ordinances and to shut vp the doores of Gods House gaue strait charge to his sonne that he should not repaire them againe yet Hezekiah so soone as he had power did repaire all If a parent forbid his childe to goe to the Protestants Churches to heare a Sermon to pray in a knowne tongue to giue iust weight and measure to speake the truth when he is called to witnesse it with the like he must be of Daniels minde and notwithstanding that prohibition doe the things which God requireth §. 38. Of childrens sinne in yeelding to their parents against God Contrary to this limitation is on the one side a flattering eie-seruice in many children who care not what they doe be it good or euill lawfull or vnlawfull so they may please their parents thereby and on the other side a slauish fearefulnesse which maketh them so to dread their parents as they feare not God at all they will rather choose to sinne and so prouoke Gods wrath then doe any thing whereby their parents wrath may be prouoked It is a brand set vpon euill kings that they walked in the waies of their fathers and mothers and did wickedly as they counselled them Wherefore the following and obeying of
their parents in euill was so farre from extenuating their sinne as it did rather aggrauate the same The preferring of father and mother before the Lord Christ sheweth that such a childe is not worthy of Christ In comparison of Christ Father and mother must be hated But that vndue and vnchristian-like respect of parents aboue Christ is it that maketh so many young Papists young swagerers swearers liars deceitfull persons and lewd liuers For auoiding the two forenamed extremes let thine heart be filled with a true feare of God and withall consider the difference betwixt our earthly parents and our heauenly Father They are but parents of our flesh he is the Father of spirits They can but touch the body he can cast body and soule into hell They are but a while ouer vs he for euer Their authority is subordinate to his his supreme absolute of it selfe They can giue but a light temporary reward he an eternall weight of glorie They cannot shelter vs from his wrath he can from theirs Hitherto of such duties of children as respect their parents authority such as respect their necessity follow §. 39. Of childrens Recompence The generall head whereunto al the duties which children owe to their parents in regard of their Necessity is in one word Recompence which is a dutie whereby children indeauour as much as in them lieth to repay what they can for their parents kindnesse care and cost towards them and that in way of thankfulnesse which maketh a childe thinke he cannot doe too much for his parent well may he thinke so for a parent doth much more for his childe before it is able to doe for it selfe then the childe possibly can doe for the parent So as if the parents authority were laid aside yet the law of equity requireth this dutie of Recompence so also doth the law of piety and charity Wherefore of all other Duties this is most due It is in expresse termes giuen in charge to children by the Apostle who willeth them to learne to requite their parents Contrary is neglect of parents in their need which is more then monstrous ingratitude As all ingratitude is odious to God and man so this most of all and yet very many are guilty thereof In them the prouerbe is verified that loue is weighty For it is the property of weighty things to fall downe apace out to ascend slowly and that not without some violence Thus loue from the parent to the childe falleth downe apace â—ut it hardly ascendeth from children to parents In which respect another prouerbe saith One father will better nourish nine children then nine children one father Many children in his kinde doe no more for their parents then for strangers They either consider not how much their parents haue done for them or else they conceit that what their parents did was of meere dutie and needeth no recompence Fie vpon such barbarous and inhumane children §. 40. Of infirmities whereunto parents are subiect The rule of the forenamed recompence is on the one side the parents Necessity and on the other the childes Ability So as in euery thing wherein a parent needeth his childes helpe the childe to his power must afford his best helpe Beyond ones power nothing can be expected A parents Necessity may be through Naturall infirmities Casuall extremities  Naturall infirmities are Inward Outward  Inward Infirmities are weakenesse of iudgement slipperinesse of memory violence of passion with the like whence proceed frowardnesse testinesse suspiciousnesse iealousie feare griefe c. Outward Infirmities are such as arise from some instant temptation as were Noahs and Lots drunkennesse Lots and Dauids vncleanesse Abrahams and Isaakes dissimulation Iaakobs and Dauids excessiue lamentation c. Some of these latter which may seeme most heinous and odious sinnes are then to be accounted infirmities when they who commit them make not a sport of them nor delight to liue and lie in them as swine to wallow and lie in the mire but only at some times through some temptation as it were vnawares fall into them and after they are committed they are themselues more ashamed of them and more grieued for them then any other that see them or heare of them In regard of the naturall infirmities of parents the dutie of children is both to beare with them and also to couer them so farre as they can §. 41. Of childrens bearing with their parents infirmities Children beare with their parents infirmities when they doe not the lesse reuerendly esteeme their place or person nor performe the lesse dutie to them because of their infirmities This is the first particular branch of recompence For children in their yonger and weaker yeares are subiect to many infirmities if parents had the lesse respected them for their infirmities and from thence had taken occasion to neglect them and would not haue borne with them surely they could not haue beene so well brought vp That great patience long-sufferance and much forbearance which parents haue shewed towards their children requireth that children in way of recompence shew the like to their parents as occasion is offered It was a great infirmity in Isaak to preferre Esau a prophane childe before Iaakob a religious childe especially against Gods expresse word concerning Iaakob yet Iaakob respected not his father a whit the lesse for it as appeares by his feare to offend him and by his readinesse to obey him Iaakobs vniust reproofe of Ioseph was no small infirmity and yet how much Ioseph reuerenced and euery way respected his father the history following sheweth Sauls infirmities were farre more and much greater then any of theirs yet what dutie and faithfulnesse did Ionathan his sonne performe to him euen to their deaths for he died with him We haue herein the patterne of Christ himselfe how great infirmity did his mother bewray when ouer-rashly she rebuked him being about a good worke a bounden duty his Fathers businesse yet immediatly thereupon it is noted that he went downe with his parents and was subiect to them which manifesteth the honour he gaue to his mother notwithstanding her infirmitie Contrary to this duty doe they who take occasion from their parents infirmities to thinke basely of their person and their place and thereupon grow carelesse in duty either refusing to doe any duty at all or else doing it carelesly grudgingly disdainefully and scornefully Absolom made a supposed infirmity of his father the ground of his rebellion Had his pretence beene true yet had it not beene a sufficient cause for him to disgrace and rise against his father as he did The law that threatneth Gods vengeance against such children as mocke at their father or despise to obey their mother maketh no exception of parents infirmities §. 42. Of childrens couering their parents infirmities Children couer their parents infirmities both by
paying their parents debts after their death As children must haue respect to the body of their parents deceased so also to their credit and name which is a thing of greater account and honour a thing wherein they may bring a kinde of blessing to their parents and make them liue after their death Parents themselues cannot doe any thing when they are dead to preserue the same children therefore being the liuing Image of their parents must indeuour to doe it Three things there be which children must make conscience of euen in regard of their deceased parents credit and reputation one to pay their debts another to suppresse ill rumors a third to imitate their good example I. If the estate of parents their goods or lands come to their children their dutie is to pay their debts so farre as they can especially if by law those debts may be recouered at their hands For what law may force others to doe in equitie and Iustice conscience must moue good children to doe in charitie and recompence to their parents The holy Ghost makes it a note of a wicked man to borrow and not to pay Wherfore to wipe away that blot from the name of a parent deceased children must be ready in this kinde to doe what the parent himselfe if he were liuing would or should doe Yea if children of themselues be well able though their parents left not sufficient to pay all their debts they ought to pay them Herein especially a childlike affection is manifested to the parent Contrary is their practise who striue to get all they can of their parents and yet make no conscience of paying any debts at all vnlesse law force them thereto What they doe in this case cannot be thought to be done for their parents sake but rather for their owne sake Many so little respect their parents credit in this kinde as they priuily conueigh away and vtterly conceale much of their parents estate of purpose to defeate Creditors which as it is a part of apparent iniustice so it is a cause of opening the mouthes of men against their parents to their discredit and shame §. 48. Of childrens suppressing euill reports against their parents deceased * The direction giuen before concerning childrens speech of their parents behinde their backs may fitly be applied also to the care which children ought to haue of the speeches and reports which are made of their parents after their departure It followeth as from the lesse to the greater that what children doe for their parents credit in absence behinde their backes they must much more doe when they are dead for then there is no hope no possibilitie that parents should doe any thing to right their owne wrong in that kinde it lyeth therefore vpon children to doe it Doe not they cleane contrary who take occasion from the departure of their parents both to open their eares to receiue any ill reports of them and also to open their mouthes to speake ill of them then blazing abroad all their infirmities and stretching their ill reports of their parents beyond the lists of truth Ill birds they are that so bewray their owne neast They know that their parents being dead can haue no notice thereof whereby they shew what little piety to God or parent is in their heart But there is an euer-liuing all-seeing and all-knowing Father that taketh notice of all who beside other â—engeance will cause such measure to be meated out to them â—s they mete to their parents There is no one thing wherein this prouerb With what measure you mete it shall be measured â—o you againe is more often verified then in childrens ingraâ—itude to their parents All ages haue giuen many instances thereof The very heathen obserued it Which sheweth Gods great indignation against it §. 49. Of childrens imitating their parents good example If parents haue beene persons of good carriage in their life time as religious towards God iust in their dealings with men mercifull to such as stood in need of their helpe doing much good in their place and so ended their daies with much credit it is an especiall meanes to maintaine and continue this their credit for children to walke in their steps and to indeuour to be like them Thus is a blessed memorie of their parents kept fresh and greene as we speake though their bodies be rotten For when they who knew the parents behold the like good qualities and actions in their children they will thereby be put in minde of the parties deceased and say Oh how such parents yet liue behold a liuely and liuing Image of them Thus did Salomon Asa Iehosaphat Hezekiah Iosiah and such like good Kings which came of the stocke and linage of Dauid keepe the memory of their father Dauid fresh faire and flourishing long after his body was rotten as is euident by these and such like phrases He walked in the ordinances of Dauid his father he walked in all the waies of Dauid his father he did that which was right as Dauid his father c. There can be no better monument of a parents pietie honestie and vertue then a childes liuely representation of the same Wherefore as a motiue to stirre vp children to walke in the good waies of their parents God hath promised to shew mercy to thousands of them that loue him and keepe his commandements that is such as hauing religious and righteous parents walke in their steps Contrary are both those that are vnlike good parents and those that are like euill parents The former sort doe much impeach and dishonour the reputation of their parents as Rehoboam who by his foolish rigorous and vniust carriage made the people speake contemptuously of Dauid The latter sort continue in memorie the euill name and the shame of their parents and cause them to stinke more and more as the sonnes and successors of Ieroboam who following his idolatrous course made it the more remembred and caused this blur to remaine in his stile from age to age Ieroboam which made Israel to sinne As they stop the current and hinder the passage of the blessing of righteous parents so these propagate and open a way for the curse of vnrighteous parents §. 50. Of the superstitious dutie enioyned by Papists to children after their parents decease To the two forenamed duties of burying the corps and preseruing the credit of parents Papists adde a third and Heathen a fourth whereof neither are warrantable by Gods word but directly contrary thereto That which Papists adde is that children after their parents death ought to procure Diriges Masses Pardons Releases and such like toies for them and make continuall prayers to free them out of Purgatory and bring them to rest in heauen of the vanity of these prayers and folly of the other toies I haue elsewhere spoken The Scripture expresly teacheth that after death the soule goeth to the place
soeuer they be In handling the duty of children we shewed that children owed a subiection to parents so long as they liued together wherefore by the rule of relation so long also an authority remaineth in parents ouer their children and accordingly they ought to haue a fatherly care for their good On this ground Eli did well in admonishing his children after they were maried his fault was that he went not farre enough in doing his duty somewhat he did but not all that he should and might haue done Iob is commended for the care he had ouer his children when they were growne in yeares for day by day he sent for them and sanctified them and that after they had seuerall houses of their owne and dwelt apart and this all their daies For the performance of that which is now vrged parents must so carrie themselues from time to time towards their children as they euer keepe the reines in their owne hands and retaine a power to curbe their children as they see occasion They may as their children grow vp in yeares slaken the reines more and more but neuer let them cleane goe and cast them loose on their childrens necke §. 41. Of parents folly in letting goe all their power ouer their children Contrary is their folly who put themselues in their childrens power and let goe all their authority ouer them Many parents that haue thus done hauing by wofull experience found the mischiefe and inconuenience that hath followed thereupon haue much repented their folly and vsed meanes of redresse but all too late For a mischiefe is much more easily preuented then redressed All the power that Dauid had could not hold in Absolom after he was permitted to haue horses and chariots and men at his command If Dauid as he begun had continued to keepe him within a compasse and still held him vnder all the treasonable plots which he put in execution might easily haue beene preuented Our times afford too many examples of parents folly in this kinde and of the mischiefes following thereupon Of Time of nurture thus farre The meanes thereof follow §. 42. Of adding admonition to instruction The meanes of helping forward the good worke of nurture are especially two 1. Frequent admonition 2. Due correction Both of them are implied in this text one in the word translated admonition which according to the notation of the Greeke word is a putting of a thing into the mind an vrging and pressing of it the other in the word translated nurture Now both these are to be ioyned together as being very helpfull each to other For admonition without correction is like to proue but meere vanity and correction without admonition will be too much austerity The dutie which the first of these setteth forth is this Parents must oft whet instruction vpon their children they may not thinke it enough to tell their children what they ought to doe but to instruction they must adde admonition and as it were beat into their childrens heads the lessons which they teach them that so they may make a deeper impression in their hearts Thus shall their instructions be like the words of the wise which are as nailes fastened or fast knocked in they remain firme where they are once fastened and cannot easily be pluckt out for as many blowes doe knocke a naile vp to the head as we speake so many admonitions doe settle good instructions in a childes heart and cause that the heart be established in that which is taught which is a thing to be laboured after The generall exhortation of being instant in season and out of season may be applied to this purpose but more pertinently that direction which is in particular giuen to parents of whetting Gods words vpon their children To this purpose is it that Solomon vseth to double his instructions and vrge them againe and againe as heare the instruction forsake not the law receiue my words hide my commandements within thee incline thine eares apply thy heart c. yea of the repeateth the very same precepts The apprehension of children is fickle and their memory weake if they be but once or seldome or sleightly instructed that which is taught will soone slip away and doe little or no good For the better performing of this dutie parents must thinke of the best meanes they can to fasten their instructions vpon their children and obserue their inclination and disposition and see with what they are most moued Constant exhortations and powerfull perswasions are comprised vnder admonition which in their kindes as occasion requireth are to be vsed §. 43. Of parents wearisomnesse in instructing their children Contrary is the practise of those parents who soone waxe weary in instructing their children The Apostle laieth it downe as a generall caueat in good duties that we wax not weary if in no good thing we must wax weary shall parents wax weary in doing good to their children Yet how many be there that hauing once taught their children thinke they haue done dutie enough in that kinde if their children will take it they may They are loth to take too much paines in often vrging the points which they haue taught them Thus that teaching vanisheth away and so it falleth out as we say in the prouerbe as good not at all as neuer the better This is one point wherein old Eli failed for he gaue very good instruction to his children but because he there staied neither was that accepted of God as a sufficient discharge of his duty nor were his children any whit bettered thereby If this were a fault in him notwithstanding his children were come to yeares of discretion and to ripenesse of vnderstanding how much greater is the fault in those whose children are but young Obiect If a childe take not instruction at first he is but of an vntoward and peruerse disposition all the paines that can be taken will be lost Answ It may be childishnesse rather then peruersnesse or some imperfection rather then obstinacy Considering the necessity of good nurture no paines may be thought too much There is more peruersenesse and vntowardnesse i◠such parents as wax weary in doing this dutie then in such children as at first are not wrought vpon for this is a means ordained of God to cure this vntowardnesse §. 44. Of parents reprouing their children The other meanes of helping nurture is correction Which is of two sorts Verball by Words Reall  Blowes  The former is reprehension and it must alwaies goe before the latter which is most vsually and properly called Correction Reprehension is a kinde of middle thing betwixt admonition and correction it is a sharpe admonition but a milde correction It is the rather to be vsed because it may be a meanes to preuent strokes and blowes especially in ingenuous and good natured children for a reproofe entereth more into him that is wise
for their children 1. That the match which they prouide be meet so said God when he was about to prouide a match for Adam I will make him an helpe meet for him Therefore the match prouided must not be too neere of kin of a contrary religion of too vnequall an age of too great disparity in estate These things will hinder loue and cause disdaine and hatred of one another 2. Though the match may seeme meet in the parents eie yet he may not force his childe thereto Could a fitter match haue beene found out for Rebekah then Isaak yet Rebekahs friends asked her consent I denie not but parents may vse all manner of faire meanes to moue their children to yeeld to that which they see good for them but if they cannot moue them to yeeld to referre the matter to God and not against their childrens minds to force them When God had made a most meet match for Adam he brought her to the man namely to see how he would like her For the neerest bond of all is betwixt man and wife a man must leaue father and mother and cleaue vnto his wife man and wife must alwaies liue together great reason therefore that at the first ioyning them together there be a mutuall liking of one another lest euer after there be a perpetuall dislike and though the authority of parents ought in this case to be inuiolable yet a middle course is so to be held as the parties may willingly with a mutuall consent ioyne themselues together §. 55. Of the extremes contrary to parents care in prouiding fit mariages for their children The extreme in the defect is when parents carelesly let their children passe the floure of their age and neuer consider whether need require that they should mary or no. Their children may sit long enough before they seeke out a match for them vnlesse it be brought to them and when one is offered though it be neuer so fit yet except they may make an aduantage thereof to themselues they will hardly yeeld to it Thus they make their children to seeke out mariages for themselues and without their consent to make them vp or else to liue in discontent if not in vncleannesse By the carelesnesse of parents in this respect are children oft made a prey to the deuill whereof at the day of iudgement parents shall giue an account to God The extreme in the excesse is when parents through a couetous desire to get great and rich matches for their children marie them before they be of yeares of discretion to like or dislike to know what is meet or vnmeet or able to performe euen the essentiall duties of mariages seldome doe such vnlawfull mariages prosper In a like excesse doe they offend who for outward aduantages match their children to such as by nature are vnfit for mariage to ideots to idolaters to profane persons or they care not to whom And if their children like not these matches they will doe to the vttermost of their power what they can to force them thereunto Many mischiefes ordinarily fall out vpon such mariages as vtter dislike betwixt husband and wife continuall complaining one of another inquiring after diuorce or any other separation wishing yea practising one anothers death To all these mischiefes doe parents the cause thereof make themselues accessary §. 56. Of parents prouiding a stocke for callings and mariages of their children An especiall outward meanes whereby parents may be the better inabled to prouide fit callings and mariages for their children is before hand to lay vp some stocke or competent portion for their children This is comprised vnder that generall prouision whereof he that is carelesse is counted by the Apostle worse then an insidell but more expresly is it noted in these words Parents ought to lay vp for their children and commended in Abrahams example While children are vnder their parents they haue no meanes to lay vp for themselues for all their seruice is for their parents But in regard of the times wherein we liue it is needfull for setting vp in a good calling and for obtaining a fit match that children haue some stocke and portion It lieth therefore vpon the parents and their duty it is to prouide it Obiect Christ forbiddeth to lay vp treasures on earth Answ If the scope of that place be rightly marked it will appeare that Christ there forbiddeth not simply the thing it selfe but 1. The minde of him that layeth vp namely when it is filled full of carking and distrustfull thoughts fearing that in the time to come he shall not haue sufficient To this purpose doth Christ propound Gods prouidence ouer fowles and lillies 2. The manner of laying vp when temporall things are preferred before spirituall and heauenly therefore he addeth this precept but lay vp treasures in heauen c. 3. The measure when men neuer thinke they haue laid vp enough but scrape what they can come by iustly or vniustly and spare more then needs euen things necessary from themselues and others to make a great stocke and portion for their children The word of treasuring vp which Christ there vseth implieth an immoderate measure Among other needfull cautions for parents to be obserued in laying vp for their children these three are especially to be noted 1. That iustly they come by that which they lay vp and lay nothing towards a childs portion which is any way vniustly gotten for the treasures of wickednesse profit nothing they may proue a fire to consume parents themselues their children their house and whole posterity 2. That they couet not too much to make their children rich and for that purpose liue meanly and basely themselues yea and depriue themselues of many necessaries An egregious point of folly is this which Solomon hath much taxed 3. That all needfull duties of charity to the poore and of iustice to the Church and common-wealth be performed and pretext of laying vp for children hinder none of these §. 57. Of the extremes contrary to a parents prouiding portions for his children The extremes contrary to the forenamed dutie are these 1. When parents liue at the vttermost extent of their estate and from time to time spend all their reuenues or all their gaines and so are scarce able to make euen at quarter day or yeares end What stocke or portion can they lay vp for children 2. When parents liue aboue their estate and spend riotously their ordinary gaines or reuenues and for other necessary affaires are forced to runne into debt Many are so farre from helping their children in this kinde as they are maine hinderance vnto them vrging their eldest sonne especially who is their heire to be bound for them and so lay such a burden on his backe as to vse the common phrase they make it cracke againe 3. When parents haue enough for themselues and their children and yet so
duties and also of the restraint of that extent §. 36. Of seruants endeuour to make their iudgement agree with their masters The extent of seruants duties is in my text only implied vnder this indefinite particle Obey which being not restrained to any particulars must be extended to euery thing but in other places it is expresly laid downe in these generall termes Obey in all things Please well in all things It is not therefore sufficient that seruants performe their duties well in some things they must doe it in all things yea in things that may be against their owne minde and liking if their master will haue it so For this end let seruants note these two rules The same extent and restraint that was before noted in laying forth the duties of other inferiors is here also to be obserued in the duties of seruants for therein they all agree The same rules therfore that were before set downe may here againe be applied I refer the reader to those places for a more large amplification of the generals and here I will content my selfe with adding such particular proofes as are most proper and pertinent to seruants 1. That they labour to bring their iudgement to the bent of their masters iudgement and to thinke that meet and good which he doth Thus the seruant of the Leuire which thought it meetest to turne into one of the Cities of the Iebusites to lodge there because the day was far spent when he saw his master to be of another minde yeelded to him So did those seruants yeeld to their master who at first thought it vnmeet that he that had ten talents should haue one peece more and those seruants also that at first thought it meet that the tares should be plucked vp from the wheat This rule is to be obserued in the particular points before deliuered as the worke which seruants doe and the manner of doing it their apparell their allowance yea and in the correction which their master giueth them and the rest Contrary is that great conceit which many seruants haue of their owne iudgement wit and wisdome thinking themselues wiser then their masters as Gehazi who opposing his owne wit to his masters wisdome said Behold my master hath spared Naaman this Syrian in not receiuing at his hands that which he brought but as the Lord liueth I will runne after him and take somewhat of him This was also a fault in the children of the Prophets that would not rest on Elishas iudgement but importuned him against his minde to send some to seeke the bodie of Eliah This selfe-conceit is the cause of many mischiefes as of discontentednesse at the worke their master appointeth them and at the allowance of meat and drinke which they haue of much libertie they take to themselues of pride in apparell and other vices before noted if the forenamed rule were duely obserued many of those mischiefes would be auoided and much better obedience yeelded §. 37. Of seruants yeelding to doe such things at their masters command as they cannot thinke to be most meet The second rule which seruants must obserue is this that Though they cannot in their iudgement thinke that fit to be done which their master will haue done yet vpon his peremptorie command they must yeeld to the doing of it It appeareth by Peters answer to Christ that he did so for being commanded to let downe his net for a draught thus he answereth Master we haue toyled all the night and haue taken nothing here he sheweth that his opinion was that it would be in vaine to let downe their nets neuerthelesse at thy word I will let downe the net here is his obedience against his opinion More cleare is the example of Ioab for this purpose when the King commanded him to number the people he declared that he thought it a very vnmeet thing to doe by this phrase Why doth my Lord the King delight in this thing yet against his iudgement he yeelded to the Kings peremptorie command for it is said that the Kings word preuailed against Ioab Obiect This is no fit example because Ioab sinned in obeying Answ Ioab cannot iustly be charged with sinne because it was not simply vnlawfull to number the people Dauids sinne was not in the act of numbring the people but in his minde which moued him to doe it for there was no iust cause to doe it only pride and curiositie moued him as may be gathered out of his owne reason in these words that I may know the number of the people To doe such a thing only to know it was curiositie But why would he know it surely on a proud conceit that he had so many worthies so many Captaines so many men of warre Out of Ioabs example seruants may here learne in humilitie and reuerence to render some reasons to moue their master not to presse vpon them that which they thinke to be vnmeet but yet if their master will not hearken to their reasons but stand vpon his authoritie his word must preuaile Contrary is their peremptorinesse who by no meanes will be drawne to doe any thing at their masters command which they themselues thinke not most meet to be done Such an one is that foole whom Solomon thus describeth Though thou shouldest bray a foole in a morter among wheat with a pestle yet will not his foolishnesse depart from him These fooles bring much mischiefe vpon their owne pates in disobeying their masters for exceedingly they prouoke his wrath who hath power to take vengeance of them Neither let them thinke to receiue comfort in their suffering because they refuse an vnmeet thing for meetnesse is not a sufficient warrant against vnlawfulnesse To disobey in a thing which lawfully may be done is vnlawfull if therefore the pretext be only an vnmeet thing meetnesse is preferred before lawfulnesse and vnlawfulnesse lesse accounted of then vnmeetnesse §. 38. Of seruants forbearing to obey their master against God That the extent of seruants obedience be not too farre stretched the Apostle setteth downe an excellent limitation thereof and that in these foure phrases As vnto Christ As the seruants of Christ Doing the will of God As to the Lord all which doe shew that the Obedience which seruants yeeld to their master must be such as may stand with their obedience to Christ So that if masters command their seruants neuer so peremptorily to doe any vnlawfull thing that is any thing forbidden by Gods word they may not yeeld to it The midwiues of the Hebrew women did well in refusing to doe any thing to helpe forward the murderous practises of the King of Egypt in slaying all the male-children of the Hebrewes it is expresly said that they feared God and did not as the King commanded them so as their disobedience in this kinde was a token of their feare of God In this case Ioseph is