9 16. It is to no â—nd to teach the first way if ye neglect the second or at least to little purpose The Scribes and Pharisees saith Christ sit in Moses chaire whatsoever they bid you observe that observe and do but after their doings do not for they say and do not Mat. 23.2 3. So if Parents c. â—e like them in teaching and in practice too well they may lead them to sin by their examples but if they lead them to good it will be very rare for the evill examples of Superiours are of great force to lead the Inferiours â—nto vile waies and this daily experience will â—eare witnesse to If Parents and Masters be given over to swearing Blaspheming lying â—runkenness uncleannesse hating of God his waies and people or to any other sin of such â—ves many times are their Children and Serâ—ants for of this take speciall notice that evill â—xamples are of a far more drawing nature for Imitation than good are hopefull for Reformation You that are Governours if you tread in filth but over shooes may occasion those that are under you to wade over their boot tops They that pervert soules in any kind may make them that are under their charge seven fold more the children of hell than themselves Good men are easily misled by bad examples Peter gives a bad example Gal. 2.11 12. then in ver 13. the Jewes and Barnabas are corrupted by it Now if such men may be so abused by bad examples there is much more cause of feare of those who deserve no good repute The fourth duty of Governours of Families Now in the fourth and last place it is the duty of Parents and Masters to their Children and Servants to labour to restraine them from walking in scandalous and evill waies and this to do betimes for since the fall of Adam there is in all his posterity such a cursed depravity that there remaines no principles of good in them to further the soule in gracious waies the mind is stuft with ignorance the will is perverse and all the Affections are out of order Now the will is the chiefe Agitator of all evillâ— and opposer of good the will should be guided by a rectified understanding but it rebels against it or else how comes it to passe that a man is violently carried to sin against conscience and against an inlightened judgement as it is often seen yet this is a truth that so far forth as the will is regenerate it desires to walke closely with God and not tâ— deviate from his Commandements and thâ— is the Will our Saviour speakes of that was in his Disciples when they were with him in the time of his Agony though he spake more particularly to Peter The spirit is willing or ready but the flesh is weake Mat. 26.41 And of this Will the Apostle speakes of Rom. 7.18 To will is present with me but this is not the will we speake of there must be no restrictions laid on this but we must rather labour after maintaining the liberty of it but it is the perverse wils of Children and Servants that their Superiours must labour to check and bridle A child set at liberty maketh his mother ashamed Prov. 29.15 But it may be here demanded What meanes must be used by Superiours to restraine Inferiours from walking in scandalous waies And for curbing the perverse wils of such as God hath set under them to be governed by them I answer First loving Admonitions and sweet endeavours to convince them of their evill waies only this I must premise that what course is to be taken with Church Members upon their uneven walking must in some particulars of them be taken with Domestique Members The Apostle speakes to the believing Romans of his confidence of their abilities to admonish one another Rom. 15.14 And can we conceive that they did not improve those abilities upon occasions when Brethren did offend Sure we cannot Now this way of admonition God himselfe takes with Cain Gen. 4.7 And Jesus Christ in Mat. 18.15 prescribes this ruleâ— very full is the Apostle in 1 Thes 5.14 Now we exhort you Brethren warne them that are unruly be patient towards all men So in 2 Tim. 2.25 In meeknesse instructing those that oppose themselves if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledgement of the truth and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the Devill Now when thou dost thus admonish the offender or offenders under thy charge tell him or them that by such courses they sin against God where lay down Scripture proofe that they may be convinced Secondly that they sin against their own souls Thirdly That they do provoke God to execute upon them all judgements spirituall temporal and eternall and in these two last particulars labour to amaze them with terrour and dread But if this gentle meanes will not prevaile with them thou must sharpely reprove them that they may be sound in the faith Tit. 1.15 And this sharpnesse may be included in that phrase in Jud. 23. pulling them out of the fire So Lev. 19.17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart but thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy Neighbour and not suffer sin upon him But if this meanes also produce no amendment then in the last place thou must make use of the ordinance of Correction For foolishnesse is bound up in the heart of a Child but the rod of correction will drive it away Prov. 22 15. And it may so be too that a servant will not be corrected with words Prov. 29.19 And yet certainly God would have them reformed too But take notice of this also that the procrastination or putting off of Correction of your Children will but fit them to be incorrigible the bowing trees whilst they are young is a similitude often on this occasion made use of but too seldome practised Prov. 13.24 He that spareth his Rod hateth his Son but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes Prov. 23.23 24. With-hold not Correction from the Child for if thou beat him with the Rod he shall not dye thou shalt beat him with the Rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell But in making use of this Ordinance of Correction whether of Children or Servants observe with care these three things First a fit time Secondly that your ends be good and lastly that it be in a right manner First for a fit time which time is when the heat of Passion is over for we must be just in the measure of Correction which we cannot be if Passion have command Passion may provoke us to play the Tyrants and to make the party corrected despised in our eyes Deut. 25.3 And that will dishearten and deject them In the second place propose a right end in correcting any under your charge you must not give correction to manifest your Authority or to be Revenged on them for crossing you but sincerely to kill sinne in them to subdue
their exorbitant lust to make them more sit to glorifie God and perform service unto men these and such like ought to be purely your aimes And lastly you must administer this Ordinance in a a right manner that is with lifting up your hearts to God desiring him with the correction to vouchsafe to them Instruction to sanctifie it to them so that it may prove effectuall for their Reformation to make them obedient to God in word and deed and faithtull in the discharge of all the duties they owe unto you Now when your carriage is truely thus in your correcting Children or Servants you may by the blessing of God expect some gracious effects of it except the Lord have a controversie with and against them to harden their hearts by this and other means to their own perdition Thus we have done with the foure general Duties which both Husband and wife owe unto both Children and Servants as first to instruct them in the wayes of God Secondly to pray with them and for them Thirdly to walk before them in good examples Fourthly and lastly to seek to reclaim them from bad wayes Now because the neglect of these Duties is a prime cause of infinite dishonour to God the means of many souls perishing to all eternity and the breeding of multitudes of rotten and vile members in Church and State we shall endeavour with the Lords Assistance to proceed to some reasons inforcing the performance of these Duties by all godly Governours and then come to make some Application thereof Reas 1 The first Reason is taken from the Command of God who requires the performance of all these duties at thy hands for thou hast seen by variety of Scripture Texts that these duties are not Arbitrary or of an Indifferent nature that thou maist doe them or leave them undone at thy own discretion Now as the Promises of God are to be the ground of thy Faith so the Commands of God are to be the ground of thy obedience That God requires these Duties of thee from hence thou maist gather an Argument that thou art bound to set thy selfe with all thy might to the performance of them A good understanding have all they that doe his Commandements Psalme 111. ult If ye know these things blessed are ye if ye doe them John 13.17 The life of a Christian lyeth chiefely in doing What singular thing doe yee Matth. 5.47 for so it is rendred in the old Translation What is the Theory of Religion if the practick part be wanting Now as you would approve your selves to be the Children of God you must obey him in all things for His servants you are whom you obey Rom. 6.16 The second Reason inforeing from you the Reas 2 performance of these duties before mentioned for the good of your children and servants is taken from those bowels of compassions that should be in you relating to the good of their souls for by thy neglect of teaching them the knowledge of God and praying for them and with them and walking before them in good examples and labouring to reclaim them from sinne they may perish in hell for evermore He saith James that converteth a sinner from the errour of his way shall save a soule from death Jam. 5.20 and hide a multitude of sins and what knowest thou but by thy conscionable use of these meanes thou maiest instrumentally do it In Exod. 23.4 the Lord commands that if thou meet thy Enemies Oxe or his Asse going astray that thou shalt surely bring him back againe How much more then oughtest thou to be carefull when thou seest thy Children and Servants go astray from God in the wales that lead to hell to be carefull to bring them back againe and so to secure their poore soules from perishing Now in the way to hell thy Children and Servants alwaies walke when they are in a state of ignorance and in the practice of any sin My people saith God are destroyed for lack of knowledge Hos 4.6 And as for thy poore Children thy own Loynes have been the Conduit-pipe to convey into their hearts and soules from Adam the fountaine all that corruption of nature which is in them and all that propensity to sin which is in their wils Truly it is not only against a gracious principle but against an Humane and Morall one too that thou shouldst thrust thy poore Child into a dangerous quagmire and then deny him thy hand to help pluck him back againe and that thou shouldst give him many a deadly and mortall wound and refuse to apply a plaister for his cure these similitudes are infinitely too short to set forth this case fully Now when thou dost neglect these meanes beforesaid thou dost shew thy selfe to be a cruell and bloudy Man a most savage beast there is no tearmes in the world that can fully set forth the intolerable vilenesse of thy condition be thou amazed and tremble like Belshazzar in another case Dan. 5.6 and set thy selfe to reforme The third reason to quicken thee to the performance Reas 3 of the duties beforesaid is taken from the account thou art to give to God at the great day for those soules that he hath committed to thy charge if they by thy neglect perish thou must be responsible for them at the generall Audit before God Angels and Men. At which time the Lord will not remit thee one graine of the non performance of any one of these or any other duties which thou shouldst have performed to have sought his own glory and the salvation of thy Children and Servants by For in Gods calling thee to be the Governour of a Family he hath made thee a watchman over their soules And consider thou that place for the purpose in hand in Ezek. 33.8 Eli the Priest was by reason of his indulgence to his Children a very defective man this way yet many thousand Millions of men are more He sought to reclaime his Sons from their wickednesse only by admonishing them of it and of the judgments of God for the same which is more perhaps than thou didst ever do but there unseasonably came to a period God punished this sin of his First upon those his wicked and degenerate Sons then on his own person and lastly on his whole house His Sons were slaine both in one day himselfe brake his neck and his house lost the Priests Office 1 Sam. 2.22 23 24 34 35 36. Chap. 4.11 18. Read the Story and lay it sadly to thy heart But the Learned do conceive that the personall punishment of Eli was but temporall because he was gracious though in the case before-mentioned a grievous offender I say read and and consider and as thou likest the punishment so practice the sin it is true God is patient but this his patience if further abused by thee will not prove thy priviledge but thy infinite disadvantage For thou shalt when it is too late find thou art rather reserved for hell than
punishment for the plagues and vengeance of God do follow sin as the thread doth the needle And here we might run in Infinitum in making this clear from Scripture demonstrations some we shall produce and but a few to what we might Read Deut. 28. the whole Chapter consider Lam. 3.39 also 2 Chron 36.14 15 16. and Hos 4.1 2 3 5. lastly Mat. 23.37 38. Thus for the first Use In the second place it may serve for just reproofe Use 2 and to speake terrour and horrour to the consciences of all Parents and Masters who are guilty of the cursed neglect of the duties before-mentioned which they owe unto their Children and Servants in reference to the good of their soules You have seene that by this meanes you are accessary to the overflowing enormities of every kind and horrid crimes of the times and are the meritorious cause of the inundation of the miseries that is now by the hand of the all-just God fallen upon us in these our daies which without infinite mercy will bury every man and mothers Child in their own justly-deserved ruine and hast thou whosoever thou art a heart of stone insensible of thy own condition Art thou worse than a Stoick Hast thou like Jonah set the sea of the world all in a raging And art thou fast asleep Ah poore soule thy condition is to be lamented with teares of bloud both in regard of thy guilt and also of thy punishment thou art guilty first of the sins of thy Family and by their bad examples of the sins of whole Townes Cities Counties and of the whole Nation thou art guilty of the precious bloud of their soules thou hast sent soules to hell by Millions and Legions thou hast cramm'd and ramm'd soules into hell Oh thou unmercilesse Canniball what hast thou done Hast thou married a wife to send her to Hell Hast thou begot Children to make them fewell for Hell Hast thou hired Servants to thrust them head and shoulder as we say into Hell Ah thou blood-hound thou hell-hound dost thou lye under so much guilt and yet hast an Adamantine soule Oh how infinitely miserable art thou by reason of sin But that is not all yet I must confess the evill of sin is worse than the evill of punishment thou art lyable to undergo more punishment than men or Angels can conceive much lesse acquaint thee with He that shall cut the throat or otherwise murther but one man the Laws of men will both sentence him to and execute death on him how then shalt thou escape at the Bar of Gods Tribunall for thy cutting the throats of such multitudes of multitudes of poore precious soules one whereof is worth more than worlds of treasure Dost thou thinke that the Judge of all the World will not do right Gen. 28.25 Foster not in â—hy selfe such a thought for God will araigne â—hee sentence doome and damne thee to Hell â—t the Bar of his terrible Tribunall seat from whence thou must go pinion'd mancled and â—ettered to hell guarded with the infernall â—rew of devils thy companions in sin and torment and at thy first entrance into that pit of â—erdition thou shalt rouze up all the damned Ghosts to make way for thee read that place â—a 14.9 it may make thy loines to tremble â—hy knees to smite one against another and the â—aire of thy head to stand on end and for such â—f thy relations to whom God gave no repenâ—ance Oh how will they salute thee and upâ—raid thee and say here is my cursed Husband â—ill thy Wife say Oh here is my cursed Faâ—her saies thy poore Children and say the â—ervants here is my cursed Master Oh say â—hey all had he instructed us in the waies of God prayed with us and for us lived a holy â—fe for an example to us and used all meanes â—reclaime us from our evill waies though he â—ad beat us black and blew and given us stripes within the bowels of the belly Prov. 20.30 â— look the old Translation he might have saâ—ed us from hence but now we are irrecoveâ—ably lost for ever After all which down thou â—nkest with mountaines of sins and curses into â—he bottomlesse pit when the hatches of hell â—hall be shut upon thee and then thou shalt be â—ormented with a vengeance with forked Inâ—â—ruments with iron teeth with Serpents and Scorpions and the biting and gnawing of the worme of conscience then thou shalt not have one drop of water to coole thy tongue nor one breath of aire to refresh thee with and that which will aggravate thy misery will be this that the time of thy torments in hell will be Millions of Millions of yeares nay it will be beyond time even all time for ever and for evermore and therefore well said a Reverend Moderne Divine that this word ever kils the heart Thus much likewise for the use of reproofe and terrour Use 3 In the third place this may be for a use of Lamentation to bewaile that spirit of Antipathy that is almost in all men of all Estates and conditions against the performance of Religious Family duties for there is a spirit of opposition rising in the hearts of men and women too against not only the duties before mentioned but also against the persons of those who desire conscientiously to discharge them they will labour to cast a damp on the spirits of such persons by speaking evill of this way of God and by belching out with their black mouth all the hellish filth and foame that possible they can They will scoffe at the people of God nickname them raile at them and revile them even for their care and paines to save the soules of such whom the great God hath committed to their charge But know that to speake against the performance of any duty that God requires is to speake against God himselfe who requires obedience thereunto and what is that but blasphemy in a high degree for hereby thou dost derogate from the infinite wisdome of God and arrogate to thy own but know thou that the foolishness of God is wiser than men 1 Cor. 1.25 Yet mistake not the Apostle as if he did grant that in God there were a deficiency in understanding for that cannot be for if God were imperfect in any one of his Attributes it would make the duty it selfe null and so God could not have an essentiall being but the Apostle speakes after the manner of men as if he did grant that which must not be granted by way of supposition yet saith he that deficiency or that foolishnesse which foolish and wicked men thinke to be in God is wiser than all the Wit parts and understanding that the wisest men in the world have What a degenerate Creature then art thou whosoever thou art that once darest enter the lists of dispute against thy Creator as thou dost that censurest such as obey God in any kind to be fooles and ridiculous and absurd fellows for that if
not worse is thy language I am certaine that by this meanes thou commest within the lists of that woe Isa 5.20 Woe unto them who call evill good and good evill c. Thou condemnest Gods waies and justifiest thy own waies Let men walke in the waies â—o get wealth or pleasure or carnall profit or worldly honour or run apace in the high road â—o hell These ungodly persons before spoken of will not dishearten them but rather encourage them by keeping company with them but let any men or women whose hearts God hath warmed with zeale for his glory and tender love to such poore soules as are under them let them but lend them a little finger to guide them or but a small sparke of light to conduct them by in the way to heaven then they are in their Bedlam-fits not knowing how to contain themselves within the bounds of civility But these men have either never learned or soon forgotten that place of our Saviour The Kingdom of heaven suffereth violence and the violent take it by force Mat. 11.12 and other places Luk. 13.24 Heb. 12.14 Luk. 11.52 Such opposite spirited men and women as these will by no meanes endure that any Child or Friend of theirs shall come within the wals of a godly Family to live in for feare they should become Puritans as they call them but to conclude this Point or Use let me tell them that without abundance of repentance for and reformation of this sin they shall have as large a share if not more of those inconceivable miseries which are imperfectly mentioned in the use of reproofe and terrour as the portion of such as do any way neglect the performance of those duties they owe unto Children and Servants and it may be they shall have a larger share than the others because for ought can be known such scoffing Ishmaels as these have been a special cause of hindring many from the performance of their duties to their Family-relations which otherwise would have set themselves to the discharge of those duties The use in the last place may be for exhortation Use 4 to stir up Christian Parents and Masters First to labour to be well acquainted with those duties which they owe unto their Children and Servants And then to set themselves with much diligence paines and care to the performance of them The duties have been laid down and fully demonstrated from divers Scriptures there hath been some Illustrations and Amplifications of them and divers undeniable reasons to urge the performance of them Now what shall I say This paines as in order to thee is lost if thou sit still and come not forth to the performance of them When David had made a large preparation for building the House of God in Jerusalem having got together abundance of materials for that Magnificent Worke what saith he to his Son Solomon Arise saith he therefore and be doing and the Lord be with thee 1 Chro. 22.16 Now if without offence I might allude to to this I may say I have endeavoured as God hath graciously enabled me to prepare in some poore measure some materials to help thee to â—uild God a temple or Church in his own Family unto which I desire thou maiest adde in thy retired Meditations Now I also say to thee arise and be doing and the Lord be with â—hee Thou wilt say thou art a poore weake creature thy knowledge is little and thy parts â—re small let me advise thee to gaine good formes of Catechisme be studious in them be diligent to improve them for the good of all under thee by this meanes if thou be consciencious indeed and seeke to approve thy selfe to God in thy discharge of these duties and abundantly desirest to yield furtherance to the soules of thy Wife Children and Servants By this meanes I say thou shalt find that in teaching others thy owne knowledge shall encrease and thou hast a promise from the mouth of Christ for this that to him that hath more shall be given and he shall have in abundance Mat 13.12 We have a good proverbe applicable here that is Use legs and have legs and thou saiest thy parts are weake if thou canst not pray with thy Family but in a very weake manner then I say pray to God to teach thee to pray pray in secret for both the spirit and gift of prayer that thou maiest be able to Performe it in thy Family but beware thou set not too high a rate on the gift of prayer for it often goes alone without the Spirit thou wert better of the two have the Spirit of Prayer than the gift but both together doth best especially in relation to edifying others Simon Magus desired to purchase a power to give the Holy Ghost to whom he pleased his ends were base as well as his tender vile he did aime as good Divines thinke at popular applause besides a cursed gaine Truly I much feare popular applause and vaine ostentation is too too much the aime of some in our Times where I see a gift of prayer yea and of preaching too and a spirit of predominant pride I must take the liberty to think of such a man as I do apprehend cleare ground for This last passage I do insert for this end principally to take off the inordinate affections of any poore soule from the gift of prayer sincerity in all thy walkings with God will comfort thee in the midst of all defects and what knowest thou deare Christian but God will joine his strength with thy weaknesse and make thee an instrument of begetting soules to God as well as bodies and so make thee in a sense a spirituall Father as well as a bodily and enable thee at the last day to say to God Behold here am I and the Children whom thou hast given me where we may allude to that which the Apostle applies and makes proper to Christ Heb. 2.13 Now in the last place for it deserves no other by thy religious care to further thy Children and Servants in the waies of God thou maiest make such Children and Servants very profitable to thee in outward respects Paul takes notice that Onesimus was no profitable servant to his Master when he was gracelesse but after he was converted he tels Philemon that now he was profitable Phil. 11. There is much crying out in the world and not without cause against stubborne disobedient and undutifull Children and against refractory and unprofitable Servants But may not the neglect of Parents and Masters about making their Children in the use of meanes Gods Children and their Servants by the foresaid meanes the servants of God may not I say this be a speciall cause of all this confusion doubtlesse yea for it is just with God that when thou wilt not make thy Children and Servants to answer Gods ends at least so far as possible thou maiest that thy owne should be wholly frustrate Thus much for the uses Beloved be pleased to
remember that we have urged Parents and Masters to the performance of divers duties both to Children and Servants jointly together but that those duties did relate to the good of their soules only but now there remaine some duties relating to their outward good and because some of them have reference to Children particularly in which Servants can make no claime And some others do belong to Servants but I cannot say peculiarly because Children have an interest in them we shall therefore endeavour to advance toward the handling of them likewise leaning on God for assistance In order whereunto we shall labour to give Children the precedency for Grace and Nature doth teach the same The 1 duty of Parents to their Children in outward respects The first duty which Parents owe unto their Children in relation to their outward Estate is to further them in the meanes for their attaining of a competent measure of Learning for such condition and state of life as God shall call them to whether in Church or Common-wealth An illiterate man can receive no content in himselfe neither can he be profitable to others a man without learning is like a man who hath but halfe an eye he seeth divers things but in a confused and rude forme even men walking like trees like him in the Gospell Mar. 8.24 but he that hath good eies discernes things in a transparent way to the great satisfaction of his mind so a man without Learning sees things that have much beauty in themselves but to him they are cloathed and shadowed in darke and black colours he sees nothing but an outside whereas he who hath Learning seeth through and through them as we say he hath a distinguishing knowledge of them he can anatomize them and dive into the nature of them he can gaine by every Creature and squeeze out the quintiscence and benefit of every Calling he can improve all times all changes and all things to his advantage Secondly a man without learning cannot be profitable to others such a man is like a stone that is digg'd out of the quarrey and not squared nor any way fitted for the building fit for nothing but to be laid by and over-look'd or to use in common imployment no way qualified for publique service but a man of Learning is like a stone squared polished and carved that is very usefull for the choicest building such a man especially if he be of good life is principled and in a choice capacity for the highest imployments in Church and State take a few instances what Moses was for learning see Acts 7.22 And what he was in publike service the Scriptures will demonstrate for under God he was the most eminent deliverer of the Church from a state of bondage and slavery that any Age since the Creation can produce and therefore is said to be King in Jesurun when the heads of the people and Tribes of Israel were gathered together Deut. 33.5 It is said of Daniel and the other three Children that God gave them knowledge and skill in all Learning Dan. 1.17 Then in vers 19. they were preferred to stand before the King and in Chap. 2 48 49. they were put into the highest places for command in the whol Province of Babylon So Paul of all the Apostles was the most learned man being brought up at the feet of Gamaliel which was a place of learning Acts 22.3 And all men know he was the most eminent amongst them for parts and paines and himselfe doth modestly confesse that he was not a whit behind the very chiefest Apostles 2 Cor. 11.5 and for paines he did outstrip them all for he wrote more Epistles to the Churches than all the other and shewed more Rhetorick in that short Epistle of his to Philemon than you shall meet with in large Volumes Truly he had greater gifts then they who boast of the spirit but what spirit they are led by is not hard to guesse at and yet he prizeth his books as well as his Parchments which Parchments were as some conceive some sermon Notes 2 Tim. 4.13 But if it be objected that it is not of necessity to give Children more learning then the Calling which they are like to be put into doth require nor secondly to give them more learning than their Parents estate can beare I answer it is true there is no necessity for Children to have much Learning to help them in managing some meane and common Callings but it is necessary in any Calling to be able to read in their mother-tongue as we say and to write to but had they more it would be no burden to them it might fit them for society and choice discourse with those of higher breeding than themselves for in persons of the greatest parts there would be some condescention to those lesse parted And also true it is Parents are not tyed to ruine themselves nor any of their Children to breed up others great Schollers And yet I could heartily wish that Parents would strive to give their Children good breeding this way though it should be their greatest outward portions I have been the larger in this particular because it may be observed frequently that there are some who are very rich men but yet so glew'd to their cursed earthly-mindednesse that they will spare nothing or very little to give their Children learning they may leave them good estates whereby they may wear good cloathes but all that know them may point at them and say they are the arrantest clownes and meanest bred fellows in or neare the places where they dwell It was falsely said of Paul that much learning did make him mad Act 126.24 But it may be truly said that such persons as we speake of for want of Learning they are the unusefullest persons of any to be Instrumentall for the good of Church or Common-wealth and their Parents deserve the least respect of all others in the places where they live And therefore thou who art a Parent mind it that it is thy duty in a speciall manner to thy Children to vouchsafe them the meanes of Learning and be carefull to discharge thy duty herein The second duty Parents owe unto their Children for their outward estate Secondly it is the duty of Parents to provide for their Children some honest Callings either in Church or Common-wealth wherein they may both do and receive good that by them God may have glory and others benefit and themselves comfort for all persons of what quality or condition soever must eate their bread in the sweat of their own brows for this is the Ordinance of God himselfe and so indispensable with Gen. 3.19 Yet this must be granted that there is the labour of the mind as well as the labour of the body and such as labour with the head and heart may be as truly said to eat their bread in the sweat of their faces as they that strike many a heavy blow or groan under many a
Affable carriage of a meeke and quiet spirit the happinesse whereof will be permanent In the next place we shall proceed by the helpe of God to some outward yet very necessary qualifications for thee to pitch thy thoughts on and to labour to obtaine that so thou maiest lay a good ground-worke to prevent too late Repentance in thee for thy Rashnesse The third qualification In the third place to make an addition to thy comforts in the Marriage Estate be very carefull in thy Choice to satisfie thine Eye both in the Person and Favour of such a One as thou wouldst enjoy for thy Consort both in Bed and at Board as we say And in this thou must be somewhat curious Beloved there is a threefold Curiosity First there is an unnecessary Curiositie thou maiest be nice and this is fleshly and carnall and may come within just suspition of that sin of making provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof Rom. 13.14 Secondly there is a Prudentiall Curiosity and that is when a man laies a ground-worke of Contentation before-hand yet therein observing a Mediocrity too for the future Thirdly there is a conscientious Curiosity and that is when a Christian labours to prevent temptations and so to circumvent his spirituall Adversaries Now the first that is Unnecessary Curiosity is to be condemned but the other two to be commended for they provide for purity of heart and life as also for perpetuating love and sweet society First it provides for purity c. and prevents the contrary for by undeniable consequence it will follow That he who doth not rejoice in the Wife of his Youth and he whose Wife is not to him as a loving Hind and pleasant Roe will be ravisht with a strange woman and embrace the bosome of a stranger Prov. 5.18 19 20. Rebecca was beautifull and faire Gen. 26.7 And her Husband was taken therewith for he could not forbeare dalliance with her when it was dangerous to his life ver 8 9. Which strength of his affections to her being so abundantly satisfied with her beauty Divines render as a reason that he only of all the Patriarkes was preserved from the sin of Polygamy strength of affections betweene married persons is a soveraigne antidote against all uncleannesse And how can strength of Affections be expected where there is not satisfaction in each others persons But where there is there Temporall mercies become spirituall advantages then judge whether it be not under this maine consideration of very great concernment to mind meeting with both person and favour in such a one as thou desirest to wed But in a second place yet in a way of subordination to the former this satisfaction before spoken of tends to the perpetuating love betweene thee and thy pleasing Consort Jacob had two wives Leah and Rachel Now the Holy Ghost mentions no deformity in Leah but that she was tender-eyed but Rachel saith the Text was beautifull and faire or well-favoured Gen. 19.17 Then in ver 18. the Text saith and Jacob loved Rachel and said to her Father I will serve thee seven yeares for Rachel thy youngest Daughter He was so taken with her beauty that he was content to serve even a seven yeares apprentiship as we may say for her and verse 30. it is said He loved Rachel more than Leah But some may say Hot love is soone cold did this love hold out I answer Gen 35.19 yea longer than life for after God tooke Rachel away by death who died in Child-bearing her Husband takes care two waies to preserve the remembrance of her First he cals her Son whom she died of Benjamin the son of my right hand as if he had said this Benjamin was the son of my wife Rachel who was as deare to me as my right hand His mother had call'd him Benoni as much as to say the son of my sorrow but that name must not passe because it would not hold out the strength of Jacobs affection to Rachel Secondly Rachel must have a Piller erected on her grave as we noted before on another occasion for an Honourable remembrance of her to posterity and it was call'd the piller of Rachels grave saith the Text Gen. 35.20 Yet further marke the expressions of Jacob concerning Rachel many yeares after her death as the Narrative of them are made by Judah And thy Servant my Father said unto us Ye know that my wife bare me two Sons Gen. 44.27 My Wife which as it is here used is an emphaticall expression he doth not say one of my wives nor yet my wife Rachel but my wife he seemes to forget that Leah was his wife or as if he had no wives lying in his bosome but only Rachel I say A man being fully satisfied in his Wives person and favour his love is perpetuated it prevents many sad eruptions heart-breakings and unkindnesses it sweetens society it helps to a comfortable bearing of afflictions it easeth cares do not thinke it to be a triviall thing to labour to receive full content in the person of thy wife I am able to acquaint thee that I knew a Gentleman who was very godly that being to looke out for a Wife which was indeed to be a second wife he tooke speciall care to meet with one truly gracious and of a sweet loving and meek nature and I am able with much confidence to averre he was not frustrate therein But in the meane time did deny himselfe about her person for he was so taken with the other two that he accepted of a person crooked and of hard favour but within short time sad is it to tell he takes her defects into consideration and by degrees fals to slight his wife and then to hate her and take no delight in society with her who being once in speciall in a great passion and rage against her in the time of Family Prayer did in her own hearing and in the presence of divers of his Children growne up to some discretion and also in the hearing of his Servants earnestly beg of God to discover unto him that great sin of his that did provoke him to give him a crooked wife Truly it was a crooked prayer and did mightily disturbe and not without cause this precious wife It is true that favour is deceitfull and beauty is vanity as hath been considered already But that hath been only in relation to the making it the Object of thy love for so it is vaine and sinfull yet it hath its use and some eyes must have many graines of it too to make a well accomplished wife for them Here by the way how much then are those Parents to blame that straine their power over their Children beyond due limits in laying engagements and commands on them to like of such persons for Husbands and Wives for them as they shall thinke most meet which if they will not because many times they cannot by reason they are not able to close in
for that did fully and clearely make it out to be lawfull for a man to have an eye in Marriage to a womans outward estate alwaies provided that it must be in due place and moderate But what advantage will it be to a man to have a great portion with his wife if she be expensive wastefull profuse prodigall in her carriage such a wife will make good two Proverbs that is she will bring a noble soon to nine-pence And what she brings in with a rake she will disperse with a forke This is the foolish woman Solomon complaines of that pâ—â—s down her house with her hands Prov. 14.1 Such a woman will soon bring her Selfe her Husband and Children to a Morsell of bread It s too well known that some painefull carefull and industrious Husbands cannot get beforehand in the world but are alwaies hinderly and beggerly by meanes of their wives who are most jolly jocund and junketting Dames in the Townes and Places where they live These will rob their Husbands at every ruine take Money out of his purse nay make Money of Meat out of the powdering tubs Come out of their Chambers Bread out of the Cupbords Oh these are worse than High-way Thieves for they might be avoided but these sometimes are not so much as suspected but were they how shall a mans ruine be prevented from being brought by such Caterpillars perpendicularly upon his head Beloved if thou wouldst avoid such an unsufferable Cross in the Marriage condition take heed then beforehand that thou be not ensnared with a Maid or Widdow of a frollick disposition beware of those who are gadders abroad to Faires and every meeting of pleasure take heed of such as are full of levity figging here and there not knowing in what place nor in what company to spend their time It s very true that if thou canst meet with a wife qualified with true grace thou needst not feare such an unmeet wife as we here mention but with great griefe be it exprest that though it be a mans duty to aime at obtaining a gracious wife as we have said yet there is a kind of infinite difficulty in meeting with such an one And you shall heare a woman even the Mother of King Solomon say as much Pro. 31.10 And according to the judgement of divers Orthodoxe Divines Solomon doth averre the selfe same in his Eccles a booke which he wrote after his repentance for his Idolatry and loose walking with his God wherein he doth complain that among his thousand Wives and Concubines together for so many he had in all seven hundred of one and three hundred of the other 1 King 11.3 he found not one that was a godly woman Eccl. 7.27 28. Therefore to conclude this particular likewise let me intreat thee to take up this direction to labour to walk thereby and I dare assure thee thou shalt no whit repent of thy paines herein The eighth qualification in a woman The eighth and last qualification to be eyed by thee in a woman whom thou wouldst enjoy as thy Wife is so much Education and breeding as is necessary in a woman in relation to thy ranke and condition yet this I shall not urge as upon cleare and absolute Necessity but upon necessary conveniency For as an absurd clownish and fordid behaviour ill becomes a man so all unworthy fliggish hoydenly carriage as ill becomes a woman And herein I appeale to all rationall and intelligible persons of both Sexes The compleat and comly behaviour of a woman both at home and abroad is an Ornament both to her selfe and Husband and if thou be a wise man thou wilt be ashamed to see the contrary in thy wife I shall content my selfe in the bare naming of this I might urge at large the comly behaviour of Rebecca when she met with her Husband Isaac the first time how she alighted from the Camel and covered her face with a vaile Gen. 24 64 65. which carriage of hers was very comely and did demonstrate her education and breeding to be singularly good Thus we have done with the second meanes to be used to gaine a good wife and a meet helper You may be pleased to remember we told you the first meanes was to go to God by prayer to beseech him to bestow a good wife and a meet helper on you The second was that you must look on such things or qualifications as made a woman to be a good wife and meet helper and these qualifications are in number Eight First Grace Secondly Sweetnesse of Nature Thirdly Comlinesse of person and favour Fourthly A fit Age Fifthly An honest descent Sixthly A Competent portion of outward things Seventhly Frugality and good Huswifery And lastly Good Education and Breeding Through all which particulars in the strength of our God we have proceeded Now by the same assistance we shall proceed to handle two meanes more and then come to the duties Married persons owe each to other and to their Families Thirdly The third meanes to obtaine a good wife if thou dost desire to have a good wife and a meet helper Thou must labour by honest and just meanes to obtaine the consent of Parents on both sides which if thou be wanting in thy marriage will be rather curst of God than blest and thou shalt have cause rather to mourne than to rejoice in that condition for thou must be convinced in this that the very Essence of Marriage is the agreement of the parties and the consent of Parents Great is the Interest that Parents have in their Children and the power that God hath invested them with over them First for their interest in them as the Apostle saith in another case You are not your own but are bought with a price 1 Cor. 6.19 20. So may I say to Children You are not your own but you are bought with a price Your Parents have bought you for though to speake most properly God be the giver of Children as no man nor Angell can deny for Children are the Inheritance of the Lord and the fruit of the wombe is his reward Psal 127 31. It was the Lord that opened Leahs wombe Gen. 29.31 And it was the Lord that did with-hold from Rachel the fruit of her wombe Gen. 30.2 yet in some sense Parents may be said to have bought their Children for their Mothers buy them deare they conceive them beare them and bring them into the world with great pain and griefe sometimes Children cost their Mothers their lives in Child-birth or Child-bed Benjamin cost his precious Mother her life at such a time Gen. 35.17.18 The Tree doth sometimes wither and dye that the fruit may live And when Children are borne they cost both Fathers and Mothers much paine cost griefe and feare in bringing them up They have much trouble and watchings early and late about them Besides what heart-breaking paines doth Parents take to leave some maintenance for their Children Children then you
preserved from the evill of punishment the patience of God will be but his omission of punishment and not the remission of thy sin Reas 4 The fourth and last Reason to induce thee to the practice of these duties to thy Family may be taken from that respect thou maiest in due place have to the recompence of reward for if thou be an instrument of the glory of God in the conversion of soules thou maiest through free grace expect an interest in that promise of God That they that are wise shall shine as the firmament but they that convert many to righteousnesse shall shine as the stars for ever and ever Dan. 12.3 And what knowest thou but thou maiest have the presence and assistance of the spirit of God with thee in thy discharge of these duties if thou be consciencious therein both for the information of thy Children and Servants and the reformation of their lives Thus much for the Reasons or Motives to actuate and provoke your spirits to the discharge of those duties you owe to your Children and Servants First taken from the command of God Secondly From those bowels of Compassions to their soules that ought to be in you Thirdly From that account you must passe to God for their soules if they perish by your default And lastly from that respect you may have to the recompence of reward We shall come to a few words of Application before we proceed to the ensuing matter This in the first place may serve for Information Use 1 to let you see the originall cause and the cursed and impoysoned root from whence doth spring all the abominations of these times the profanation of Gods Sabbaths drunkennesse pride uncleannesse hating of the power of Godlinesse and all other sins Even from hence that Parents and Masters neglect their duties to their Children and Servants in Catechizing and instructing them in the waies of God as also that they pray not with them nor for them nor walke before them giving them good examples but rather the contrary and lastly in that they use no meanes to reclaime them from vicious waies but leave them to themselves laying the raines of corrupt liberty on their necks whereby they run a full careere into all waies of sin and so to hell at last The Lord hath cause to complaine of the multitude and hainousnesse of the sins of these times as once he did of the sins of Israel Amor â— 13 Behold saith God I am pressed under you as a Cart is pressed that is full of sheaves and truly it is only his mercy that the Land doth not spue us out Lev. 18 28. And that which aggravates our sins is that after the faithfull Ministers of God in the later and this present Age have cried out against the horrid sins of the Times and have spent the strength of their Reines and wasted their best spirits that they may sit down and mourne over us and say they have spent their labour in vaine and their strength to no purpose Isa 49.4 For custome in sin doth bring a necessity to sin and that in such an habituall way that no meanes without a miracle of mercy can reforme the evill manners of most for the Ministers of the Gospell cannot preach down sin nor the Civill Magistrate cut it down with the sword of justice But Beloved how easily by the blessing of God might many if not all the Exorbitances of these times have been prevented by the Christian and prudent care of Domestique Governours they might have broke the Egge betimes and so have prevented it from bringing forth a Serpent they might have taken and dash'd Babylons little ones against the stones Psal 137. ult Every Family is a little Nursery to the great Orchards of Church and Common-wealth Now Family Discipline is the pruning ingrafting Enoculating and digging about the root of the tender Imps to qualifie and fit them for transplantation into either or both the foresaid Orchards But if the meanes before-mentioned be not used instead of removing fruitfull trees you shall replant Crabs bryers and thornes and such Vines as shall bring forth no Grapes but such as Moses mentions in his Song Deut. 32.32 Their Vine is of the Vine of Sodom and of the fields of Gomorrah their grapes are grapes of gall their clusters are bitter They shall bring forth such grapes as the Lord complaines of Isa 5.2 Now as Parents and Masters may be charged to be the originall cause of all the sins beforesaid and of the sins of the like kind so may all the Errours fundamentall and circumstantiall now maintained with a Whores forehead be brought and laid down at their doores likewise for had they taken more paines with their Children and Servants to season their hearts and informe their judgements by a Catechisticall way in the solid and profound truths of God both concerning faith and life things to be believed duties to be practised there might by the blessing of God on their sincere endeavours have been better fruit expected in these daies of sadnesse and sorrow than declining pure truth vilifying Gods Ordinances and faithfull Ministers raging against and worrying of the tender Lambs of Christ In which they take the same diabolicall course that some heathens of old tooke that is cloathed the Saints in the skins of Beares and other wild beasts that so their dogs might fasten their impoysoned fangs in their tender hearts so these calumniate such who by the grace of God walke closer to the Rule than themselves with many opprobrious and vile but notoriously false aspersions they are say they enemies to the State disturbers of the peace of a Nation and many other hellish accusations they have against them which I forbeare to name not doubting but in Gods time the guilt of their abominations will settle in their owne bosoms and so clap to their hearts and so sting their soules that by the goodnesse of God they shall be awakened to see their evill and repent of it before it be too late By reason whereof all their beagles and bloud-hounds take the sent not by the feet of the non-guilty from the cursed vomit of the accuser of the Brethren and run with so much hellish fury at them that did not God graciously and the precious Laws of the times preserve them they must inevitably perish but blessed be God there is yet hopes in Israel concerning this thing Ezra 10.2 For in order to the reforming of the destructive errors of these times the higher powers do declare their sense of the same and do protest against them and we hope they will make a hedge of thornes against them Now as wicked Parents and Masters have by their neglect of their duties occasioned all the evils of sin before-mentioned and pointed at so they have been the occasion by good consequence of all the evill of punishments that this day the righteous God hath inflicted on the Nation for sin is the Antecedent of