PANTAGRUEL's VOYAGE TO THE Oracle of the BOTTLE Being the Fourth and Fifth Books OF THE WORKS OF FRANCIS RABELAIS M. D. WITH The Pantagruelian Prognostication and other Pieces in Verse and Prose by that Author Also his Historical Letters Compleating all his Works that are Extant Never before printed in English Done out of French by Mr. Motteux With Explanatory Remarks on every Chapter by the same Hand LONDON Printed for Richard Baldwin near the Oxford-Arms in Warwick-Lane 1694. To the Honourable HUGH HARE Esq SIR I Would not imitate those Authors who fly foâ— Protection to Persons that are unable or unwilling to grant it Your Love for Learning prompting You to countenance the Well-meant Endeavours of Studious Men You have condescended to extend Your Favours even to me This SIR made me so presumptuous as to relish no other Method of owning the Debt I cannot pay and at the same time prepossessing the Reader in my Favour than by dedicating this Translaâ—ion of the best Work of France's gâ—eatest Wit to You who have made â—he Copy of the Master-piece of one of Italy's best Historians outshine the beautiful Original For whatever my Performance be most Readers will as little doubt its being good because offer'd to so great a Judge as they would be apt to mistrust a Child's Legitimacy to whom they saw a Man of Nice Honour stand Godfather Indeed as Those who have no Children may be thought more oblig'd to be thus Trustees for those of others and make amends for not begetting any so Those whose Pens produce nothing seem more engag'd to take care of the Offspring of other mens Brains than those whose fertile Minds like Yours are like to people the learned World with manly and charming Productions Yet this do's not excuse the latter from appearing in Behalf of those who stand in need of their charitable good Word when usher'd in to the World Besides as He who never had any Progeny is less likely to secure a good Fame to that of others than a Person whose honourable Offspring evinces his Capacity for such a Christian-like Office so he who never writ can hardly so effectually save a Book from Damnation as one who having enrich'd the Public with valuable Pieces is acknowledg'd a competent Judge in the matter Till Occasion calls and You consent to leave the Study of the best Ancients and Moderns to devote Your Self wholly to what You love more than Your Ease I mean Your Country it hopes SIR to be oblig'd to You for such Presents the Product of the hours that divide those during which You either bless Your Friends with Your Conversation or Your Self with that of a Consort whose outward Graces are attended with all the Beauties of the Mind May Your Happiness like Your Vertues admit of no Allay Be still the Joy of a Noble Father who doubly lives while he sees the Heir to his Honours already like himself adorn'd with the most essential Nobility when he sees in You so ripe a Judgment so calm and sedate a Mind in so flourishing a Youth so universal a Learning without any Tincture of Affectation or Pedantry so great a Knowledge of the World without the least Acquaintance with its Vices and above all so charming a Modesty that Vertue which shuns a Lustre yet heightens that of every other But that Darling of Yours causes me to draw a Veil over those other Accomplishments which as they endear You to all Mankind would have made me ambitious of owning my self Your Admirer tho I were not otherwise bound to profess my self with all imaginable Zeal and Respect SIR Your most humble and most oblig'd Servant PETER MOTTEUX The Translator's Preface Reader I Don't know what kind of a Preface I must write to find thee Courteous an Epithete too often bestow'd without a Cause The Author of this Work has been as sparing of what we call Good Nature as most Readers are now adays So I 'm afraid his Translator and Commentator is not to expect much more than has been shew'd them What 's worse there are but two sorts of taking Prefaces as there are but two kinds of Prologues to Plays for Mr. Bays was doubtless in the right when he said That if Thunder and Lightning could not fright an Audience into Complaisance the sight of the Poet with a Rope about his Neck might work them into Pity Some indeed have bullied many of you into an Applause and rail'd at your Faults that you might think them without any and others more safely have spoken kindly of you that you might think or at least speak as favourably of them and be flatter'd into Patience Now I fancy there 's nothing less difficult to attempt than the first method for in this blessed Age 't is as easy to find a Bully without Courage as a Whore without Beauty or a Writer without Wit though those qualifications are so necessary in their respective Professions The mischief is that you seldom allow any to rail besides your selves and and cannot bear a Pride which shocks your own As for wheadling you into a liking of a Work I must confess it seems the safest way but tho Flattery pleases you well when 't is particular you hate it as little concerning you when 't is general Then we Knights of the Quill are a stiff-neck'd Generation who as seldom care to seem to doubt the worth of our Writings and their being lik'd as we love to flatter more than one at a time and had rather draw our Pens and stand â—p for the Beauty of our Works as some Errant â—â—â—ls us'd to do for that of their Mistresses to the last drop of our Ink. And truly this Submission which sometimes wheadles you into Pity as seldom decoys you into Love as the aukward Cringing of an Antiquated Fop as Moneyless as he 's Vgly affects an experienc'd Fair One. Now we as little value your Pity as a Lover his Mistress's well satisfi'd that 't is only a less uncivil way of dismissing us But what if neither of these two ways will work upon you of which doleful Truth some of our Play-wrights stand so many living Monuments Why then truly I can think on no other way at present but blending the two into one and from this Marriage of huffing cringing there will result a new kind of careless Medley which perhaps will work upon both sorts of Readers those who are to be hector'd and those whom we must creep to At least 't is like to please by its Novelty and 't will not be the first Monster that has pleas'd you when regular Nature could not do it If uncommon Mirth lively Wit and deep Learning wove into wholesom Satire a bold good and vast Design admirably pursu'd Truth set out in its true Light and a Method how to arrive to its Oracle can recommend a Work I am sure This has enough to please any reasonable Man The three Books publish'd some time since which are in a
manner an intire Work were kindly receiv'd Yet in the French they come far short of these two which are also intire Pieces for the Satire is all general here much more obvious and consequently more entertaining Even my long explanatory Preface was not thought improper though I was so far from being allow'd Time to make it methodical that at first only a few Pages were intended yet as fast as they were printed I wrote on till it prov'd at last like one of those Towns built little at first then inlarg'd where you see promiscuously an odd variety of all sorts of irregular Buildings I hope the Remarks I give now will not please less for as I have translated the Work which they explain I had more Time to make them though as little to write them It would be needless to give here a large Account of my Performance for after all you Readers care no more for this or that Apology or Pretence of Mr. Translator if the Version do's not please you than we do for a blundering Cook 's Excuse after he has spoilt a good Dish in the dressing Nor can the First pretend to much Praise besides that of giving his Author's Sense in its full Extent and copying his Stile if 't is to be copied since he has no share in the Invention or Disposition of what he translates Yet there was no small difficulty in doing Rabelais Justice in that double Respect the obsolete Words and turns of Phrase and dark Subjects often as darkly treated make the Sense hard to be understood even by a Frenchman and it cannot be easy to give it the free easy Air of an Original for even what seems most common Talk in one Language is what 's often the most difficult to be made so in another and Horace's Thoughts of Comedy may well be appli'd to this Creditur ex medio quia res arcessit habere Sudoris minimum sed habet Comoedia tantum Plus oneris quantò veniae minus Far be it from me for all this to value my self upon hitting the Words of Cant in which my drolling Author is so luxuriant for tho such words have stood me in good stead I scarce can forbear thinking my self unhappy in having insensibly hoarded up so much Gibberish and Billinsgate Trash in my Memory nor could I forbear asking of my self as an Italian Cardinal said on another account D'onde hai tu pigliato tante Coglionerie Where the Devil didst thou rake up all these Fripperies It was not less difficult to come up to the Author 's sublime Expressions Nor would I have attempted such a Task but that I was ambitious of giving a view of the most valuable Work of the greatest Genius of his Age to the Mecoenas and best Genius of This. For I 'm not overfond of so ungrateful a Task as Translating and would rejoice to see less Versons and more Originals so the latter were not as bad as many of the first are through want of Incouragement Some indeed have deservedly gain'd esteem by Translating yet not many condescend to translate but such as cannot invent though to do the first well requires often as much Genius as to do the latter I wish Reader thou mayst be as willing to do my Author Justice as I have strove to do him Right Yet if thou art a Brother of the Quill 't is ten to one thou art too much in love with thy own dear Productions to admire those of one of thy Trade However I know three or four who have not such a mighty opinion of themselves but I 'll not name them lest I be oblig'd to place my self among them If thou art one of those who tho they never write criticise every one that does avaunt Thou' rt a profess'd Enemy of Mankind and of thy self who wilt never be pleas'd nor let any body be so and know'st no better way to Fame than by striving to lessen that of others tho wouldst thou write thou mightest be soon known even by the Butter-women and fly through the World in Band-boxes If thou art of the Dissembling Tribe 't is thy Office to rail at those Books which thou hugg'st in a Corner If thou art one of those Eves-droppers who would have their Moroseness be counted Gravity thou 'lt condemn a Mirth which thou' rt past relishing and I know no other way to quit the Score than by writing as like enough I may something as dull or duller than thy self if possible If thou art one of those Critics in Dressing those Extempore's of Fortune who having lost a Relation and got an Estate in an instant set up for Wit and every Extravagance thou'lt either praise or discommend this Book according to the Dictates of Some less foolish than thy self perhaps of one of those who being lodg'd at the Sign of the Box and Dice will know better things than to recommend to thee a Work which bids thee beware of his Tricks This Book might teach thee to leave thy Follies but some will say it do's signify much to some Fools whether they are so or not for when was there ever a Fool that thought himself one If thou art one of those who would put themselves upon us for Learned Men in Greek and Hebrew yet are meer Blockhâ—ads in English and patch together old pieces of the Ancients to get themselves Cloaths out of them thou art too severely maulâ—d in this Work to like it Who then will some will cry Nay besides these many Societies that make a great Figure in the World are reflectâ—d on in this Book which caus'd Rabelais to study to be dark and even bedaub it with many loose Expressions that he might not be thought to have any other Design than to droll in a manner bewraying his Book that his Enemies might not bite it Truly though now the Riddle is expounded I would advise those who read it not to reflect on the Author lest he be thought to have been before-hand with them and they be rank'd among those who have nothing to shew for their Honesty but their Money nothing for their Religion but their Dissembling or a fat Benefice nothing for their Wit but their Dressing for their Nobility but their Title for their Gentility but their Sword for their Courage but their Huffing for their Preferment but their Assurance for their Learning but their Degrees or for their Gravity but their Wrinkles or Dulness They had better laugh at one another here as 't is the Custom of the World Laughing is of all Professions the Miser may hoard the Spâ—ndthrift squander the Politician plot the Lawyer wrangle and the Gamester cheat still their main Design is to be able to laugh at one another and here they may do it at a cheap and easy rate After all should this Work fail to please the greater number of Readers I am sure it cannot miss being lik'd by those who are for Witty Mirth and a chirping Bottle tho not by those solid Sots
Air just after they had left the Papimanes our Author ingeniâ—usly describes the freedom which our Navigators took to speak their true sentiments of the gross Ignorance blind Zeal loose Lives and worse Principles of those superstitious Papists as soon as they were out of their reach For among them the Pantagruelists did not dare discover their minds so that their words were in a manner frozen within their mouths which Fear and Interest kept shut But when they were out of danger they could no longer thus contain their words and then every one distinctly heard them murmuring words against those Bigots very sharp words bloody words terrible words angry words occasion'd by Reflections made on those Idolatrous Persecutors and to those words our jolly Company add some words of Guâ—ules that is merry words Jests pleasant Talk probably about the young Wenches so ready to wait on the strangers at Table and on the good Bishop a bed Those frozen words that thaw'd and then were heard may also mean the Books publish'd at that time at Geneva and elsewhere against Popery and the Persecution Those who fled from it to Places of Safety with a great deal of freedom fill'd their Writings with such Truths as were not to be spoken among the bigotted Romanists and many of those unfortunate men having been us'd very cruelly in their Slavery and having nothing to defend their Cause but their Pens while their Adversaries were arm'd with Fire and Sword their words could not but be very sharp The words which Rabelais says were mere gâ—â—â—erish which they could not understand may be the Books that were dark ill written and without judgment and the words of guâ—â—â—es or Jests may be pleasant Books such as were some of Marot's Epigrams and other Pieces of that nature On Chap. 57. and the five following THE dwelling of Master Gaster whose entrance is rugged craggy barren and unpleasant to the eye is found at last to be â—ery fertile healthful and delightful when with much toyl the difficult ways on its Borders have been pass'd This Gaster the first Master of Arts in the world is the Belly in Greek Magister artis ingenîque largitor Venter Persius Yet our Author tells us that the Muses are the Offspring of Penia that is to say Poverty I will not pretend to contradict him neither will any contradict me if I say that at least Poverty is the most common Reward which their unhappy Favourites reap for all their toilsome Study The Description of the Empire of Gaster is very curious and the Author displays there at once much Learning Fancy and Wit The Gastrolatâ—rs are those whose God is their Belly the Engastrimythes are Parasites and all those whom their hungry Bellies cause to say many things against their Consciences so that they may be said to speak from the Belly The word Engastrymithe also means one who by use and practice can speak as it were out of his Belly not moving his Lips and finally one who has an Evil Spirit speaking out of his Belly Rabelais tells us a very remarkable Story of an Italian Woman called Jacoba Rodogyna one of those Engastrimyâ—â—â—â— whom he had seen at Ferrara in 1513. She was said to be possess'd by an Evil Spirit who lov'd to be call'd Cincinnatulo and reveal'd things past to the amazement of those who ask'd her questions but us'd to lye like a Devil when she pretended to foretell any thing yet the People of Quality of the Cisalpine Gaul us'd to consult her very much Father Mabillon in his Musaeum Italicum speaks of a Magician Woman who had been thus famous at Milan where he saw her Tomb He calls her Guillelmimina saying that after her death three Holidays were instituted to her Memory and that those of her Sect had declar'd she was the Holy Ghost that had appear'd to the world in the shape of a Woman but that at last it was known she was a Witch and she was unsainted Many Saints would have the same Fate if their Titles were canonically examin'd The Idol Manduce is the figure of Gluttony whose Eyes are bigger than its Belly and its wide Jaws arm'd with dreadful Teeth 'T is an Imitation of the Manducus of the Ancients The great number of Dishes of all sorts that are sacrificed to Gaster show that Gluttony reigns among all sorts of people the poor offering their gross Food as well as the rich their Dainties and that course Fare will go down with Belly-gods and with all men in general for want of better What is offer'd him on interlarded Fish days shows that this Noble Messer Gaster as he is call'd in the French is a true Papimane and agrees pretty well with the Mass Messe in French which wants but an r of the word Messer us'd in those times for Monsieur On Chap. 63 and 64. CHaneph is Hypocrisy in Hebrew so the Island of Chaneph is the Island of the Hypocrites accordingly our Author says it was wholly inhabited by Sham-saints Spiritual Comedians Forms of Holiness Tumblers of Beads dissembling Mumblers of Avemaries and so forth poor sorry Rogues who wholly liv'd on the Alms that were given them by Passengers like the Hermit of Lormont between Blaye and Bourdeaux Thus he chiefly places the Orders of Mendicant Friars among the Hypocrites because their Convents have no Revenue but Mumping and so they are oblig'd to affect a greater Devotion than those Religious Orders who do not make a Vow of Poverty as these do Our Author tells us that the Pantagruelian Fleet was becalm'd when it came in sight of that Island and was forc'd to tack from Larboard to Starboard and from Starboard to Larboard yet could not get ahead tho they had added Drablers to their Sails By this he insinuates that this inferior Crew of Hypocrites did put a stop to the progress of the Reformation and the discovery of Truth in general as when he himself was misus'd by some of them in the Convent of Cordeliers at Fontenay le Comte merely because he studied Greek These Beggarly Tribes had not the power to raise a Storm like the nine Sail of Fathers who were going to the Council of Chesil they could do little more than hinder the advancement of those who search'd after Truth Thus we find not only that the Fleet could not proceed but that every Ship 's Company in a manner fell asleep doz'd and were out of sorts and off the Hinges At last this is remedied by sending to those poor Hypocrites Seventy eight thousand little Half-Crowns and by eating and drinking which perhaps may mean That provided those poor hungry Curs have Meat and Drink or Money to get Food which is all they beg they cease to bark and will suffer you to go on without any further Impediment This has been and is still observable in France and other parts among some of those begging Friars whereas your Jesuits Dominicans Austins Bernardins Celestins Theatins and others such as were in the Nine
that during which he liv'd Panurge's Cowardice and Impudence suits pretty well with that Bishop of Valence's Character as appears by what I said of his daring to preach before Queen Catherine of Medicis with a Hat and Cloak on like a Geneva Divine and then not having the courage to go on but leaving off in the midst of his Sermon though the Queen abetted him and her presence secur'd him as soon as the Conestable of Moutmorency spoke two words against his way of preaching Here Rabelais takes an opportunity to bring in a Story which as well as some other things of as odious a nature I would have omitted did not many Learned Men despise a maim'd or imperfect Book as much as some Selfish Women hate a Male in those Circumstances That Story is what is said of Edward V. King of England and Francis Villon the witty Rogue of whom I have already spoken But with our Author 's good leave this Story is as false as 't is filthy and improbable though we should suppose there is a mistake in the Printing as there are thousands even in the best Editions of this Work I have seen yet For none can imagin that Rabelais was so little vers'd in History as not to know that Edward V. died a Child and can neither have been costive in his Old Age nor familiar with Villon who according to Pasquier must have been hang'd before the Reign of that unfortunate Prince and perhaps before his Birth And should any say that Rabelais means Edward the Fourth I answer That he neither died Old nor could be Droll'd upon at that Rate by a Bussooning Inmate since though he was not one of the wisest Heads yet he was one of the bravest Warriors of his Time having fought Nine pitch'd Battels generally on Foot and at last gloriously overcome all his Enemies So that the Witty Jester would hardly have offer'd to have told him that the sight of Lewis the Eleventh's Oriflamb or Royal Standard would have scar'd him into a Looseness The Verses which Rabelais makes Villon speak are mention'd as his by Pasquier somewhat otherwise than in this Chapter Je suis Francois dâ—nt ce me poise Né de Paris prez de Pontoise Où d'une corde d'une toise Saura mon col que mâ—n cul poise Explanatory Remarks ON THE Prologue to the Fifth Book THE Author begins this Prologue with a Question Why People say that Men are not such Fools now adays as they were in the days of yore He answers it himself by a Prophecy out of an imaginary Book which he calls The Prelatical Bagpipe I give it in French and in English lest as 't is very dark I shou'd be suspected of having mistaken my Author's meanings for he seems to have had more than one and to have banter'd the Reader with a Sham Explanation Let us see if we can unriddle it The Jubile's Year when All like Fools were shorn Is about or above thirty or Trente Supernumerary O Want of Veneration Fools they seem'd But persevering with long Breves at last No more they shall be gaping greedy Fools For they shall shell the Shrub's delicious Fruit Whose Flow'r they in the Spring so much had fear'd L'An Jubilè que tout le monde raire Fadas se feit est supernumeraire Au dessus trente O peu de reverence Fat il sembloit Mais en perseverance De longs Brevets fat plus ne gloux sera Car le doux fruict de l'herbe esgoussera Dont tant craignoit la flour en prime vere The Year of Jubilee was in 1525 under Pope Clement VII then all Europe suffer'd themselves to be shorn or fleec'd by the Pardon-Pedlars the Sellers of the Court of Rome's Indulgences and other Trumpery Ware Is Supernumerary about or above Thirty or Trente this means that Time is past and such Years of Jubilee are needless out of fashion and cry'd down after the Year 1530. or perhaps after the Council of Trentâ— by reason of the Change made by the Restoration of Learning and the Reformers So that People were no longer to be fleec'd by the Sellers of Pardons And indeed about the Year 1530. King Francis I. invited the Learned to come to Paris and having procur'd several Men well vers'd in various Studies fix'd them in the University of Paris Belleforest and Lambinus say that in 1531 he establish'd Twelve Professors for Latin Greek Hebrew Mathematics Philosophy Divinity Oratory Physick c. But du Tillet who at large relates what that Prince did and design'd for the Advancement of Learning says this was in 1530. Besides we find in Rat. Tem. Part. I. lib. 6. Multum huic Principi debent Gallicanae litterae nam illius liberalitate accitis undique viris emni artium genere excultis publicae Scholae honestis stipendiis Lutetiae constitutae sunt Anno 1530. quam in rem hortatoribus usus est Joanne Bellaâ—o c. And Genebrard who was afterwards one of those Professors writes Anno 1530. Guillelmo Budaeo Joanne Bellâ—â—o hertantibus Regios linguarum Professores instituit In Clemente VIII Now those Learned Men to whom Petavius gives the Epithetes of Litterati Pii purg'd the Age of its Foolishness and very much forwarded the Affairs of the Reformation So that in 1530 or at least at the time of the sitting of the Council of Trent the Reign of Ignorance may be said to have come to an end O want of Veneration fools they seem'd That is those who had been foolish enough to suffer themselves to be sheer'd and fleec'd thus appear'd such as they were when Ignorance had been expell'd I mean bigotted Fools neither did the Veneration which uses to be paid to the Church hinder the wiser sort from laughing at them or at least from pitying their Silliness But persevering with long Breves at last no more they shall be empty greedy fools Those long Breves should be the Sacred Books which may be call'd so in opposition to the Roman Breviary in which their Contents are as maim'd imperfect and abbreviated as the vain Imaginations of Superstition are spun out there to a tedious length at least they mean the Books written by the Learned many of which are long So the People who appear'd foolish being no more blinded by a Ridiculous Superstition will no more gape after it nor be greedy of it being fill'd with sound Knowledge For they shall shell the Shrub's delicious Fruit whose Flow'r they in the Spring so much had fear'd That is They will shell the Beans in Cod which is as if he had said Truth that lay long conceal'd and before was known but by a few will be reveal'd to the World and as much as at first it was hated despis'd and fear'd at its first appearance so much the sweeter and more delicious will its Fruit prove when the World shall have had a taste of it By these Beans in Cod we may also partly understand our Author's Work The Beans are
the Mystery the Cod is the Emblem and outward Dress which is good for nothing but to wrap up what is within it neither ought we to feed upon it but solely on what it contains So we might fix the period of Ignorance and the beginning of the New Aera or Restoration of Learning at the Year 1550. at which time it began to bear good Fruit and this Fifth Book was written though it was not publish'd till after our Author's death perhaps because it spoke too plain This makes him foretell the speedy oblivion of whole Cartloads of Books that were dull dark and mischievous though they seem'd florid florishing and flowry gay and gawdy as so many Papillons Butterflies by which he seems to play upon the Word Papa as in Papimany and in the Sixth Chapter of the Pantagruelian Prognostication where the King of the Papil'ons or Butterflies undoubtedly means the Pope After all as that pretended Prophesy is written in the stile of those of Nostradamus it appears at first as dark and unintelligible as that Astrologer's Rhim'd Whimsies and though there is a meaning in our Author's and none in the dreaming Stargazer's I would as little have troubled my self to find out things past in the first as I would look for things to come in the latter were not this needful to confirm what I have said of our Author's Design and to shew the uniformity of this Mystical Work which tho much admir'd had doubtless been much more beneficial if most of it had been explain'd soon after it was written I mean after the Author's death for as to have done that before would undoubtedly have hasten'd it and have expos'd him and his Writings to the Flames he did not desire to be understood by every one and only wrote for the Learned as the Cardinals Du Bellay and de Chastillon the Bishop of Maillezais Andrew Tiraquel his Patrons and such men as hated Ignorance that they might effectually though underhand forward the downfal of Superstition its Offspring Therefore to blind the Vulgar he turns off the sense of the Prophesy and falls a praising Colinet Marot Saingelais c. the greatness of whose Wit and the Elegancy of whose Stile he extolls to the Skies not without some little touch of Panegyrical Satire all the while as appears by what he says of their Crimsin Alamode Rhetorical Stile This he chiefly runs upon to insinuate to those whom he fear'd that what he said of the Jubile's Year is only meant of the Improvements made in Learning and more particularly in the French Tongue So we find him begging of the French Writers his Contemporaries that they would be pleas'd to admit him as Puny Rhyparographer or Riffraffscribler of the Sect of Pyrrichus that Painter having that Epithete bestow'd on him from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 sordidus because like some of our Modern Boor-Painters he only drew mean Figures as Coblers-stalls Barbers-shops and Asses yet he hints as if he understood by it the Office of Apologuemonger in France which Aesop had obtain'd among the best Orators and Philosophers in Greece and at the same time he invites his Reader to shell this Basketful of Beans in Cod gather'd in the very individual Garden whence the former came and says That observing the great Mysteries of which these Books treat they shall gain a singular Profit and Fame as in the like Case was done by Alexander with the Books of prime Philosophy compos'd by Aristotle doubtless he means those Acroamatic Books which that Philosopher made publick in such a stile as was hardly to be understood saying that he had done it on purpose Our Author might have said as much as will appear by the Remarks on this his last and finest Book Explanatory Remarks ON THE First Chapter of the Fifth Book· THE Ringing Island can mean nothing but the Clergy of the Church of Rome whose Mysteries are all perform'd at the sound of large middlesiz'd little and very little Bells They are rung at Matins Mass Noon Vespers Sermons and the Salutation to the Virgin every day on the Eves or Vigiles of Holy-days at Processions and at Stations and whenever the Priest lifts up the Wafer-god a little Bell is rung that the People may fall down and adore that piece of Dough which they must believe made Heaven and Earth though 't were made that very morning by the Baker and some of the same stamp be shown in every Parish Besides when the Priest carries the Viaticum a diminutive Bell always tingles before him Thus Bells are often rung where-ever there is a Monastery Church Chappel or Hermitage to awaken the People's Devotion summon them together dismiss them and make them come again Add to this That whatever is said of the Ringing Island in the following Chapters cannot well be adapted to any thing but the Popish Ecclesiastics so those who pretended to explain these Books only by printing at the end of some French Editions twenty or thirty Names which without the least reason they call a Key either never read them or had a design to impose on the Reader more than our Author else they would never have said that the Ringing Island is England I own there is much Ringing there and the English are famous for making that a Recreation but this Book was writ during King Edward the Sixth's Reign at which time the Reformation had prevail'd here and though our Author mentions the Knights of the Garter in the Fifth Chapter while he speaks of the Knight-hawks of the Ringing Island it does not follow that he meant England since he only places the Knights of Malta among the Roman Ecclesiastics which was judiciously done because they make a vow never to marry read the Breviary and have Livings like Abbots Even that Passage proves that the Ringing Island is not England since Aedituus makes one of his Island 's Knight-hawks look wistfully on the Pantagruâ—lian Strangers to see whether he might not find among their Company a stately gawdy kind of huge dreadful Birds of Prey so untoward that they could never be brought to the lure nor to perch on the Glove which may mean that other Knights claim'd a preheminence over those of Malta Aedituus adds He is told there are such in your World who wear goodly Garters below the Knee with an Inscription about them which condemns him who shall think ill of it qui mal y pense to be bewtay'd and conskited So 't is plain there were none such in the Ringing Island Then in the Sixth Chapter Aedituus says that all the good things which they have in his Island come from every part of the other World except some of the Northern Regions particularly from Touraine our Author 's Native Country and that the Income of the Duke of that Country could not afford him to eat his Belly full of Beans and Beacon because his Predecessors had been more than liberal to the Birds of the Ringing Island that they might there munch
who seem to have drudg'd all their Youth long only that they might enjoy the sweet blessing of getting Drunk every night in their old Age. But those men of Sense and Honour who love Truth and the good of Mankind in general above all other things will undoubtedly countenance this Work I 'll not gravely insist upon its usefulness having said enough of it in the Preface to the First Part. I 'll only add That as Homer in his Odysses makes his Hero wander ten years through most Parts of the then known World so Rabelais in a Three-months-Voyage makes Pantagruel take a view of almost all sorts of People and Profâ—ssions With this difference however between the Ancient Mythologist and the Modern That while the Odysses has been compar'd to a setting Sun in respect to the Iliads Rabelais's last Work which is this Voyage to the Oracle of the Bottle by which he means Truth is justly thought his Master-piece being writ with more Spirit Salt and Flame than the First Part of his Works At near 70 Years of Age his Genius far from being drain d seem'd to have acquir'd fresh Vigor and new Graces the more it exerted itself like those Rivers which grow more deep large majestic and useful by their course Those who accuse the French of being as sparing of their Wit as lavish of their Words will find an Englishman in our Author I must confess indeed that my Countrymen and other Southern Nations temper the one with the other in a manner as they do their Wine with Water often just dashing the latter with a little of the first Now here Men love to drink their Wine pure nay sometimes it will not satisfy unless in its very quintessence as in Brandies though an Excess of this betrays want of Sobriety as much as an Excess of Wit betrays a want of Judgment But I must conclude lest I be justly tax'd with wanting both I will only add That as every Language has its peculiar Graces seldom or never to be acquir'd by a Foreigner I cannot think I have given my Author those of the English in every place But as none compell'd me to write I fear to ask a Pardon which yet the generous Temper of this Nation makes me hope to obtain Albinus a Roman who had written in Greek desir'd in his Preface to be forgiven his Faults of Language but Cato ask'd in derision Whether any had forc'd him to write in a Tongue of which he was not an absolute Master Lucullus wrote an History in the same Tongue and said He had scatter'd some false Greek in it to let the World know it was the work of a Roman I 'll not say as much of my Writings in which I study to be as little incorrect as the hurry of Business and shortness of Time will permit but I may better say as Tully did of the History of his Consulship which he also had written in Greek That what Errors may be found in the Diction are crept in against my Intent Indeed Livius Andronicus and Terence the one a Greek the other a Carthaginian wrote successfully in Latin and the latter is perhaps the most perfect Model of the Purity and Urbanity of that Tongue But I ought not to hope for the success of those great Men. Yet am I ambitious of being as subservient to the useful Diversion of the Ingenious of this Nation as I can which I have endeavour'd in this Work and still do in my Gentleman's Iournal with Hopes to attempt some greater Tasks if ever I am happy enough to have more Leisure In the mean Time it will not displease me if 't is known that this is given by one who though born and educated in France has the Love and Veneration of a Loyal Subject for this Nation One who by a Fatality which with many more made him say Nos patriam fugimus dulcia linquimus arva Is oblig'd to make the Language of these happy Regions as natural to him as he can and thankfully say with the rest under this Protestant Government Deus nobis haec otia fecit Explanatory Remarks ON THE Prologue to the Fourth Book of Rabelais being the first of the Voyage to the Oracle of the Bottle THE main design of this Prologue is to teach us to be moderate in our Wishes The Author brings several Examples to prove what Advantages arise from it particularly he makes use of a Fable in which after some long but most diverting Excursions the Moderation of a poor Country Fellow who had lost his Hatchet and wish'd only to have it again was largely rewarded and others who lost theirs on purpose to be thus made rich were undone This is thought by some to mean a Gentleman of Poictoâ— who came to Paris with his Wife about some Business where Francis the First fell in Love with her and having bestow'd large Sums of Money on the Husband who some time after return'd into the Country some of the Neighbouring Gentlemen who had handsome Wives or Daughters made their appearance with them at Court in hopes of the like Fortune but instead of it were forc'd to sneak into the Country after they had spent their Estates which was all they got for their pains Jupiter is brought in complaining of Ramus and Galland who surrounded with a swarm of their Scullions Ragamuffins Sizers Vouchers c. set together by the Ears the whole University of Parts Petrus Ramus or de la Ramée was Royal Philosophy and Oratory Professor at that time and Petrus Gallandus or Galland Royal Greek Professor both were Learned Men and Ramus particularly famous for Rhetoric and Oratory he also wrote three Books of Dialectic Institutions But what divided the University was his Elegant but too Passionate Animadversions on Aristotle's Physics and Metaphysics Carpentarius Scheckius and Riolanus answer'd him and particularly the first I cannot find that Gallandus wrote against Ramus yet either he has done it or oppos'd him vivá voce Priapus is of Opinion they ought to be turned into Stone and associated to their Name-sake Master Peter du Coignet formerly petrified for such a Subject This Du Coignet can be no other than Peter de Coigneres the King's Advocate in his Parliament mentioned by Pasquier In 1329 he caus'd all the Prelates of France to be summon'd before King Philip who sat in his Court of Parliâ—ment attended by several Princes and Lords There the Advocate represented many Abuses committed by the Ecclesiastical Court which had encroach'd upon the Parliament's Rights and us'd to take Cognizance of all Civil Matters under divers pretences of Conscience and unjustly favour'd those that appeal'd or remov'd their Causes to the Spiritual Court The Archbishop of Sens and the Bishop of Autun spoke in behalf of the Church's Right grounded on Custome time out of mind and of equal validity to the Law then proffer'd to rectiâ—y every thing and in short so cunningly work'd upon the King that he told them
by Mr. Motteux and his Translation of the two last Books I. BEfore the Reign of Avarice and Lust When Virtue with unborrow'd Lustre shone Men were by instinct Temperate and Just And Law and Physic useless and unknown II. But quickly ah too quickly Vice prevail'd On Arts and Rule Distemper'd Mortals thought Health in the Mind and in the Body fall'd And ev'ry hour new Desolations brought III. Through ev'ry Vein the gliding Poison ran No Cure succeeded for no Cure could please What Miracle could e're restore the man That loath'd the Med'cine charm'd with the Disease IV. In vain Physicians labour'd to beguile Tâ—â— Stubborn Patient by a kind Deceit In vain was all the Moral Sages Toil To gain the Sinner by a pious Cheat. V. Rab'lais at last the noble Secret found But wanting either Courage or Good-will He hid the precious Talent under ground And all but Mirth and Wit was secret still V. Charm'd with the Influence of that pow'rful Spell The languid Patient rear'd his drooping Head Down sunk th' ill Genius to his native Hell And all his Train of grim Attendants fled VII Straight all the Humours trace their wonted Rounds Through ev'ry Nerve the Brain shoots dancing Rays The Heart again with sprightly Force rebounds And the whole Engine vigorously plays VIII Mâ—tteux has now unscreen'd the Mystic Veil Which Artful Rab'lais o're the Treasure drew To him who gives what th' other did conceal An equal Praise but greater Thanks are due IX Pedants and Quacks now leave their Queen of Whims Cits Clowns and Courtiers wince then kiss the Rod The Fiery Bigot calmly reads his Crimes And Popehawk's batter'd where he sits as God X. Daring th' Attempt and glorious the Success For any other than Motteux would be Rab'lais's Wit with equal Force t' express And make the Copy with the Text agree XI But what in others Arrogance had been Is but a noble Ardor in his mind New Beauties now in ev'ry line are seen The Stile 's enliven'd and the Sense refin'd J. Mitchel M. D. On Mr. Motteux's Translation of the two last Books of Rabelais and his Key to the whole WHEN tâ—â—â—less France provok'd our Author's Gall And Rab'lais moulded on the dusty Stall The Great â—hysician wrote with Artful Rage To cure the vicious Palate of the Age. Bitter the Med'cine was but kindly He To make it relish gave it an Allay Sweet'ned with seeming Nonsense down it went 'T was temper'd well and answer'd his intent Drench'd with a Dose of Satire all the Age Recover'd in a Laugh such Pleasantry and Rage Were wisely mingled in the double-meaning Page Mirth seem'd predominant and most it work'd The Fable tickled but the Moral lurk'd Too deep it lay for men of shallow Sense To fathom or to find its Excellence Rab'lais the greatest Genius of his Time Tho artfully he hid it wrote sublime And such the Thought and such the Satire is It must be found b' a Genius great as his And see 't is found Motteux with searching Eye Has div'd into the hidden Mystery Motteux whom France and England jointly claim Their Claims are just and both their Pleas the same Language They urge That no Distinction show'th He truly seems a Native of them Both. Much Rab'lais owes nor less is England's Debt England can read and Rab'lais now is Great Thick lay the Mist but now there shines through all The Life and Beauties of the Great Original The Mist is gone and ev'ry beauteous Line Does with New Graces pointed Glories shine So in thick Clouds the Trojan Heroe stood The Clouds dispers'd and shew'd a Beauteous God Around him all his Mother's Graces mov'd The Crowd admiring gaz'd and stricken Dido lov'd New-Colledge in Oxon. Robert Gale To Mr. Motteux on his Translation of the two last Books of Rabelais and his Key to the whole WHEN in an happy Age of circling Time To raise the Glory of some envy'd Clime Nature intends a Genius and to strain Something Divine with less allay of Man She rests a Câ—ntury for the vast Design And culls Ideas exquisitely fine Till all Perfections in one Soul combine To such Expence it does her Skill engage One must suffice a Nation crown an Age. Such was the mighty Rab'lais in whose mind No scatter'd Gleams of trivial sense we find But view the Pourtraiture of Human kind All Nature's System Miniature of Man Through every Line th' informing Genius ran And shew'd a vast an universal Vein But long his Sense not Fogs but Shades did shrow'd And as a Priest must be to every God To guard the Shrine and draw aside the Cloud Many had strove t' invade the Mystery â—ut we at last the destin'd Flamen see You come and Rab'lais opens to your Key 'T is true upon his Basis stands your Praise 'T is from his Brow that you derive your Bays But 't is as when with a peculiar Grace Great Kneller copies an illustrious Face Each stroke is Titian and the mighty Fair Viewing the Piece is fearful to compare Others had view'd the Wealthy Mine before And brought the Bullion to our English Shore And stampt it but allay'd it with their own Faint was the Mark and Rab'lais dimly shone Tho that which can but his least Image bear Must be Divine inevitably rare Thus mighty Jove when Nectar warm'd his Blood On some inferior Nymph the Grace bestow'd The Nymph retain'd the Vigour of the God And wheresoe're th' Aethereal Genius reigns Transmits Divinity through all her Veins Nor can the Mould so much the God destroy But through some Grace Jove sparkles in the Boy But you admit Sir no allay of Fame You met your Author with an equal Flame Transfus'd his Air his Genius in your Lines Through every Page the British Rab'lais shines Nor sinks below the French through all the whole You as you share his Country share his Soul Take then our Thanks the Work 's divinely done And those whose first Attempts have nobly flown Must veil their Lawrells and the Conquest own 'T is worthy such an Age and such a Reign Where Wit 's upon the stretch her utmost strain An Age where all compleated Glories join Where Fields with Heroes Courts with Beauties shine Nor does the Wreath upon the Learned Brow Less fresh or fast than on the Hero grow Methinks I see suspended in the Air Not Phoebus no we banish him the Chair But some Poetic Angel from the Sky Betwixt the Rival Nations hold on high The dubious Lawrel Here Great Dryden stands And there Boileau whose undisputed Hands Reach for the Prize Thus strive the mighty Pair But here some Spirit friendly to the Fair From the French Poet does the Bays remâ—ve â—Who durst Heav'ns nearest Type defame to prove That Charming Sex has Advocates above Here Tate whose Soul 's more eminently taught To trace the Grandeur of the Roman Thought Who best their Air and Sense and Vigour shews And makes them match their Eagle wiâ—h their Muse Here Congreve whose
the Scab and not a Cross in your Breeches to scare the Devil that tempts you to make these Wishes no more than those two Mumpers wishers after the Custom of Paris one of whom only wish'd to have in good old Gold as much as hath been spent bought and sold in Paris since it's first Foundations were laid to this hour all of it valued at the price sale and rate of the dearest Year in all that space of Time Do you think the Fellow was bashful had he eaten sowre Plums unpeel'd were his Teeth on edge I pray you The other wish'd Our Lady's Church brim full of steel Needles from the flowr to the top of the roof and to have as many Ducats as might be cram'd into as many bags as might be sow'd with each and every one of those Needles till they were all either broke at the point or eye This is to wish with a vengeance What think you of it What did they get by 't in your Opinion Why at night both my Gentlemen had kyb'd heels a â—etter in the Chin a Churchyard Cough in the Lungs a Catarrh in the Throat a swinging Boyl at the Rump and the Devil of one musty Crust of a brown George the poor Dogs had to scour their Grinders with Wish therefore for Mediocrity and it shall be given unto you and over and above yet that is to say provided you bestir your selves manfully and do your best in the mean time Ay but say you God might as soon have given me seventy eight thousand as the thirteenth part of one half for he is Omnipotent and a million of Gold is no more to him than one Farthing Oh ho pray tell me who taught you to talk at this rate of the Power and Predestination of God poor silly People Peace Tush St St St fall down before his sacred Face and own the Nothingness of your Nothing Upon this O ye that labour under the affliction of the Gout I ground my hopes firmly believing that if so it pleases the Divine Goodness you shall obtain Health since you wish and ask for nothing else at least for the present Well stay yet a little longer with half an Ounce of Patience The Genouese do not use like you to be satisfied with wishing Health alone when after they have all the live long Morning been in a brown study talk'd ponder'd ruminated and resolv'd in their Counting-houses of whom and how they may squeeze the Ready and who by their Craft must be hook'd in wheadled bubl'd sharp'd over-reach'd and chous'd they go to the Exchange and greet one another with a sanita guadagno Messer health and gain to you Sir Health alone will not go down with the greedy Curmudgeons they over and above must wisâ— for gain with a Fox to 'em ay and for the sine Crowns or scudi di guadagno Whence Heaven be praised it happens many a time that the silly Wishers and Woulders are baulk'd and get neither Now my Lads as you hope for good health cough once aloud with Lungs of Leather Take me off three swindging Bumpers Prick up your Ears and you shall hear me tell Wonders of the noble and good Pantagruel The Fourth BOOK OF PANTAGRVEL CHAP. I. How Pantagruel went to Sea to Visit the Oracle of Bacbuc alias the Holy Bottle IN the Month of June on Vesta's Holy-days the very numerical day on which Brutus conquering Spain taught its strutting Dons to truckle under him and that niggardly Miser Crassus was routed and knock'd on the head by the Parthians Pantagruel took his leave of the good Gargantua his Royal Father The old Gentleman according to the laudable Custom of the Primitive Christians devoutly pray'd for the happy Voyage of his Son and his whole Company and then they took Shipping at the Port of Thalassa Pantagruel had with him Panurge Fryar Jhon des Entomeures alias of the Funnels Epistemon Gymnast Eusthenes Rhizotome Carpalin cum multis aliis his ancient Servants and Domestics Also Xenomanes the great Traveller who had cross'd so many dangerous Roads Dikes Ponds Seas and so forth and was come sometime before having been sent for by Panurge For certain good Causes and Considerations him thereunto moving he had left with Gargantua and marked out in his Great and Universal Hydrographical Chart the Course which they were to steer to Visit the Oracle of the Holy Bottle Bacbuc The number of Ships was such as I described in the Third Book Convoyed by a like number of Triremes Men of War Gallions and Feluccaes well Rigg'd Caulkt and Stor'd with a good quantity of Pantagruelion All the Officers Droggermen Pilots Captains Mates Boatswains Mid-Shipmen Quarter-Masters and Sailers met in the Thalamege Pantagruel's principal Flag-Ship which had in her Stern a huge large Bottle half Silver well polish'd the other Half Gold Inamel'd with Carnation whereby it was easie to guess that white and red were the colours of the Noble Travellers and that they went for the Word of the Bottle On the Stern of the Second was a Lanthorn like those of the Antients industriously made with Diaphanous Stone implying that they were to pass by Lanternland The Third Ship had for her Devise a fine deep China Ewre The Fourth a double handed Jar much like an ancient Urn. The Fifth a famous Kin made of Sperm of Emerald The Sixth a Monk's Murnping Bottle made of the four Mettals together The Seventh an Ebony Funnel all imboss'd and wrought with Gold after the Tauchic manner The Eighth an Ivy Goblet very precious inlaid with Gold The Ninth a Cup of fine Obriz Gold The Tenth a Tumbler of Aromatic Agaloch you call it Lignum aloes edg'd with Cyprian Gold after the Azemine make The Eleventh a Golden Vine-Tub of Mozaic work The Twelfth a Runlet of unpolish'd Gold covered with a small Vine of large Indian Pearl of Topiarian work Insomuch that there was no Man however in the Dumps musty sower look'd or Melanchollic he were not even excepting that blubbering Whiner Heraclitus had he been there but seeing this Noble Convoy of Ships and their Devises must have been seized with present gladness of Heart and smiling at the Conceit have said that the Travellers were all honest Topers true Pitcher-men and have judged by a most sure Prognostication That their Voyage both outward and homeward bound would be performed in Mirth and perfect Health In the 〈◊〉 where was the general 〈◊〉 Pantagâ—â—â—l 〈◊〉 a shâ—râ— but sweet Exhortation wâ—â—ly â—â—k'd with Auâ—â—oâ—â—â—is from 〈…〉 a Nâ—â—igation which â—â—ving ended with 〈…〉 Prayers were said in 〈…〉 of â—ll the Burghâ—â—s of 〈◊〉 who had flock'd to the Mole to see 〈…〉 Shipping After the Prayers was melodiously sung a Psalm of the Holy Kings David whiâ—h â—â—gins Wâ—en Israel went out of Aegâ—pt and that being ended Tables were plac'd upon Dâ—â—k and a Feast speedily serv'd up The Tâ—â—aâ—â—ssians who had also born a Chorus in the Psalm caus'd store of belly-Timber to be brought out of their
after the fashion of the Isiacs of Anubis in Aegypt its Hair seem'd all white which two colours the Chamaelion can't borrow When the Creature was free from any fear or affection the colour of its Hair was just such as you see that of the Asses of Meung CHAP. III. How Pantagruel received a Letter from his Father Gargantua and of the strange way to have speedy News from far distant places WHile Pantagruel was taken up with the Purchace of those foreign Animals the noise of ten Guns and Culverins together with a loud and joyful Cheer of all the Fleet was heard from the Mole Pantagruel look'd towards the Haven and perceived that this was occasioned by the Arrival of one of his Father Gargantua's Celoces or Advice-Boat named the Chelidonia because on the Stern of it was Carv'd in Corinthian Brass a Sea Lark which is a Fish as large as a Dare-fish of Loire all Flesh and no Bone with cartilaginous Wings like a Batt's very long and broad by the means of which I have seen them fly about three Fathom above Water about a Bow-shot At Marseillis 't is call'd Lendole And indeed that Ship was as light as a Lark so that it rather seem'd to fly on the Sea than to Sail. Maliâ—â—rn Gargantua's Esq Carver was come in her being sent expresly by his Master to have an Account of his Son's Health and Circumstances and to bring him Credentials When Mâ—â—â—corn had Saluted Pantagruel before the Prince opened the Letters the first thing he said to him was Have you here the Gozal the Heavenly Messenger Yes Sir said he here it is swadled up in this Basket It was a grey Pigeon taken out of Gargantua's Dove-House whose youngones were just hatch'd when the Advice-Boat was going off If any ill Fortune had befallen Pantagruel he would have fastened some black Ribbon to its Feet but because all things had succeeded happily hitherto having caus'd it to be undrest he ty'd to its Feet a white Ribbon and without any further delay let it loose The Pigeon presently flew away cutting the Air with an incredible speed as you know that there is no flight like a Pigeon's especially when it hath Eggs or Young Ones through the extream care which Nature hath fixt in it to relieve and be with its Young insomuch that in less than two hours it compass'd in the Air the long Tract which the Advice Boat with all her diligence with Oars and Sails and a fair Wind had gone through in no less than three Days and three Nights and was seen as it went into the Dove-House in its Nest Whereupon Gargantua hearing that it had the white Ribbon on was joyful and secure of his Son's wellfare This was the Custom of the Noble Gargantua and Pantagruel when they would have speedy News of something of great Concern as the event of some Battel either by Sea or Land the Surrendring or Holding out of some strong Place the determination of some difference of Moment the safe or unhappy Delivery of some Queen or great Lady the Death or Recovery of their sick Friends or Allies and so forth They used to take the Gozal and had it carried from one to another by the Post to the places whence they desir'd to have News The Gozal bearing either a black or white Ribbon according to the Occurrences and Accidents us'd to remove their doubts at its return making in the space of one hour more way through the Air than thirty Post-Boys could have done in one natural day May not this be said to redeem and gain time with a vengeance think you For the like Service therefore you may believe as a most true thing that in the Dove-Houses of their Farms there were to be found all the year long store of Pigeons hatching Eggs or rearing their young Which may be easily done in Aviaries and Voleries by the help of Saltpeter and the Sacred Herb Vervain The Gozal being let fly Pantagruel perus'd his Father Gargantua's Letter the Contents of which were as followeth My Dearest Son THe Affection that naturally a Father bears a beloved Son is so much encreased in me 〈◊〉 reflecting on the particular Gifts which by the Divine Goodness have been heaped on thee that since 〈◊〉 Departure it hath often banished all other Thoughts out of my Mind leaving my Heart wholly possess'd with fear lest some misfoâ—tune has attended thy Voyage for thou knowest that fear was ever the attendant of true and sincere Love Now because as Hâ—â—â—od saith A good beginning of any thing is the half of it or well begâ—â—'s haâ—â— done according to the old saving to free my Mind from this anxiety I have expâ—esly dispatched Malicorn that he may give me a true account of thy Health at the beginning of thy Voyage For if it be good and such as I wish it I shall easily foresee the rest I have met with some diverting Books which the Bearer will deliver thee thou mayst read them when thou wantâ—st to unbend and ease thy Mind from thy better Studies He will also give thee at large the News at Court The Peace of the Lord be with thee Remember me to Panurge Fryer Jhon Epistemon Xenomanes Gymnast and thy other principal Domesticks Dated at our Paternal Seat this 13th day of June Thy Father and Friend Gargantuâ— CHAP. IV. How Pantagruel writ to his Father Gargantua and sent him several Curiosities PAntagruel having perused the Letter had a long Conference with the Esquire Malâ—â—â— insomuch that Panurge at last interrupting them ask'd him Pray Sir when do you design to drink When shall we drink When shall the Worshipful Esquire drink What a Devil have you not talk'd long enâ—ugh to drink 'T is a good motion answered Pantagruel go get us something ready at the next Inn I think 't is the Centaur In the mean time he writ to Gargantua as followeth to be sent by the aforesaid Esquire Most Gracious Father AS our Senses and Animal Faculties are more discompos'd at the News of Events unexpected tho desir'd even to an immediate dissolution of the Soul from the Body than if those accidents had â—â—en foreseen so the coming of Malicorn hath much surprized and disordered me For I had no hopes to see any of your Servants or to â—ear from you before I had finished our Voyage and contented my self with the dear remembrance of your August Majesty deeply impress'd in the hindmost Ventricle of my Brain often representing you to my Mind But since you have made me happy beyond expectation by the perusal of your Graciâ—us Letter and the Faith I have in your Esquire hath reviv'd my Spirits by the News of your wellfare I am as it were compell'd to do what formerly I did freely that is first to praise the Blessed Redeemer who by his Divine Goodness preserves you in this long enjoyment of perfect Health then to return you eternal Thanks for the fervent Affection which you have for me your most humble Son and
fair wind they shâ—uâ—d proceed without mentioning a word on 't but if they chanc'd to be becalm'd he would publish what he had heard Now when they were near Paloda they had no Wind neither were they in any Current Tâ—â—mâ—us then getting up on the top of the Ship 's forecastle and casting his Eyes on the shoar said that he had been commanded to proclaim that the great God Pan was dead The words were hardly out of his Mouth when deep Groans great Lamentations and Shrieks not of one Person but of many together were heard from the Land The News of this many being present then was soon spread at Râ—me insomuch that Tiberius who was then Emperor senâ— for this Thamous and having heard him gave credit to his words and inquiring of the Learned in his Court and at Rome who was that Pan He found by their relation that he was the Son of Mercury and Penelope as Herodotus and Cicero in his third book of the nature of the Gods had written before For my part I understand iâ— of that great Saviour of the Faithfull who was shamefully put to Death at Jerusalem by the envy and wickedness of the Doctors Priests and Monks of the Mâ—saie Law And methinks my Interpretation is not improper for he may lawfully be said in the Greek Tongue to be Pan since he is our All For all that we are all that we live all that we have all that we hope is him by him â—â—â—m him and in him He is the good â—an the great Shepherd who as the loving Sheperd Câ—â—yden affirms hath not only a tendâ—r Love and Affection for his Sheep but 〈◊〉 for their Shepherds At his death complaints sighs fears and lamentations were 〈◊〉 â—ad through the whole Fabric of the universâ— whether Heavens Land Sea or Hell The time also concurs with this interpretation of mine for this most good most mighty Pan our only Saviour dyed near Jeâ—â—salem during the Reign of Tiberius Caesar Pantagruel having ended this discourse remain'd silent and full of Contemplation a little while after we saw the tears flow out of his eyes as big as Ostridg's Eggs. God take me presently if I tell you one single syllable of a Lye in the matter CHAP. XXIX How Pantagruel sail'd by the Sneaking Island where Shrove-tide reign'd THE Jovial Fleet being reâ—â—â—ed and repar'd new Stores â—en in the Macreâ—ns over and 〈◊〉 satisfy'd and pleased with the Money spent there by Pantagruel our Men in better humour yet then they us'd to be if possible we merrily put to sea the next day near Sun-set with a delicious fresh Gale Xenomanes show'd us afar off the Sneaking Island where reign'd Shrovetide of whom Pantagruel had heard much talk formerly for that Reason he would gladly have seen him in Person had not Xenomanes advis'd him to the contrary First because this would have been much out of our way and then for the lean Cheer which he told us was to be found at that Prince's Court and indeed all over the Island You can see nothing there for your Money said he but a huge Greedy-Guts a tall woundy swallower of hot Wardens and Muscles a Longshank'd Mole-catcher an over grown Bottler of hay a Mossy-chin'd Demy-giant with a double shaven Crown of Lantern Breed a very great Loytering Noddy-peak'd youngster Banner-bearer to the Fish-eating Tribe Dictator of Mustard-land Flogger of little Children Calciner of Ashes Father and Foster-father to Physicians swarming with Pardons Indulgencies and Stations a very honest Man a good Catholic and as brim full of Devotion as ever he can hold He weeâ—â— the Three fourth parts of the day and never â—sts at any Weddings but give the Devil his 〈◊〉 â—e's the most industrious Larding-stick and Sâ—â—â—e-maker in forty Kingdoms About Six years ago as I pass'd by Sneaking Land I brought home a large Scure from thence and made a Present of it to the Butchers of Quande who set a great value upon them and that for a Cause sometime or other if ever we live to come back to our own Country I will shew you two of them fastned on the great Church-Porch His usual Food is pickled Coats of Mail salt Helmets and Head-pieces and salt Sallads which sometimes makes him piss Pins and Needles As for his Cloathing 't is Comical enough oâ— Conscience both for make and colour for he wears Grey and Cold nothing before and nought behind with the Sleeves of the same You will do me a kindness said Pantagruel if as you have described his Cloths Food Actions and Pastimes you will also give me an Account of his Shape and Disposition in all his Parts Prethee do dear Cod said Fryar Ihon for I have found him in my Breviary and then follow the moveable Holy-days With all my heart answer'd Xâ—â—â—manes We may chance to hear more of him as we touch at the Wild Island the Dominion of the Squob Chitterlings his Enemies against whom he is eternally at odds and were it not for the help of the noble Carnaval their Protector and good Neighbour this Meagre-look'd Lozelly Shrovetide would long before this have made sad work among them and rooted them out of their Habitation Are these same Chitterlings said Fryar Ihon Male or Female Angels or Mortals Women or Maids They are reply'd Xenomanes Female in Sex Mortal in kind some of them Maids others not The Devil have me said Fryar Ihon if I been't for them What a shameful disorder in Nature is it not to make War against Women Let 's go back and back the Villain to pieces What! meddle with Shrovetide cry'd Panurge in the name of Belzebub I am not yet so weary of my Life No I 'm not yet so mad as that comes to Quid juris Suppose we should find our selves pent up between the Chitterlings and Shrovetide between the Anvil and the Hammers Shankers and Buboes stand off Godzooks let 's make the best of our way I bid you good Night sweet Mr. Shrovetide I recommend to you the Chitterlings and pray don't forget the Puddings CHAP. XXX How Shrovetide is anatomiz'd and describ'd by Xenomanes AS for the inward Parts of Shrovetide said Xenomanes his Brain is at least it was in my time in Bigness Colour Substance and Strength much like the left Cod of a He-hand-worm The Ventricles of his said Brain like an Augre The Worm-like Excrescence like a Christmas-Box The Membranes like a Monk's Cowle The Funnel like a Mason's Chissel The Fernix like a Casket The Glandula pinealis like a Bag-pipe The Rete Admirabile like a Gutter The Dug-like Procâ—sses like a Patch The Tympanums like a Whirly Gig. The Rocky bones like a Goose-wing The Nape of the Neck like a Paper Lanthorn The Nerves like a Pipkin The Vvula like a Sack butt The Palate like a Mittain The Spittle like a Shuttle The Almonds like a Telescope The Bridge of his Nose like a Wheel barrow The Head of the Larynx like a Vintage Basket The Stomach like a
we met Three hare-brain'd airy Fellows who seem'd mightily pufft up and wert to take their pastime and view the Pâ—â—vers who live on the same dieâ—as themselves and abound in the Island I observ'd that as you true Topers when you travell carry flasks leathern bottles and small runlets along with you so each of them had at his girdle a pretty little pair of bellows If they happen'd to want wind by the help of those pretty bellows they immediately drew some fresh and cool by Attraction and Reciprocal Expulsion For as you well know Wind essentially defin'd is nothing but fluctuating and agitated Air. A while after we were commanded in the King's name not to receive for three hours any Man or Women of the Country on board our ships Some having stole from him a rousing fart of the very individual Wind which old Goodman Aeolus the Snoarer gave Vlysses to Conduct his Ship when ever it should happen to be becalm'd which fart the King kept religiously 〈◊〉 another Sangreal and perform'd a woâ—â—d of wonderfull cures with it in many dangerous deseases letting loose and distribuâ—ing to the Patient only as much of it as might frame a Virginal Fart That is if you must know what our Sanctimonials alias Nuns in their Dialect call ringing backwards CHAP. XLIV How a small Rain lays a high Wind. PAntagruel commended their Government and way of living and said to their Hypenemian Mayor If you approve Epicurus's Opinion placing the summum bonum in pleasure I mean pleasure that 's easie and free from toil I esteem you happy for your Food being Wind costs you little or nothing since you need but blow True Sir return'd the Mayor but alas nothing is perfect here below For too often when we are at Table feeding on some good blessed Wind of God as on Celestial Manna merry as so many Fryars down drops on a sudden some small Rain which lays our Wind and so robs us of it thus many a Meal lost for want of Meat Just so quoth Panurge Jenin Toss-pot of Quinquenois evacuating some Wine of his own burning on his Wife's Posteriors laid the ill fum'd Wind that blow'd out of their Centre as out of some Magisterial Aeolipyle Here 's a kind of a Whim on that Subject which I made formerly One Evening when Toss-pot had been at his Buts And Joane his fat Spouse cram'd with Turnips her Guts Together they pigg'd nor did Drink so besot him But he did what was done when his Daddy begot him Now when to recruit he 'd fain have been snoaring Joane's back-door was filthily puffing and roaring So for spight he bepiss'd her and quickly did find That a very small Rain lays a very high Wind. We are also plagu'd yearly with a very great Calamity cry'd the Mayor for a Giant call'd Widenostrils who lives in the Island of Tohu comes hither every spring to purge by the advice of his Physicians and swallows us like so many Pills a great number of Windmils and of Bellows also at which his Mouth waters exceedingly Now this is a sad Mortification to us here who are fain to fast over three or four whole Lents every year for this besides certain petty Lents Ember-Weeks and other Orison and Starving-tides And have you no Remedy for this ask'd Pantagruel By the advice of our Mezarims reply'd the Mayor about the time that he uses to give us a Visit we Garison our Windmills with good store of Cocks and Hens So the first time that the greedy Thief swallow'd them they had like to have done his business at once for they crow'd and cackl'd in his Maw and flutter'd up and down athwart and along in his Stomach which threw the Glutton into an Lipothymy Cardiac Passion and dreadful and dangerous Convulsions as if some Serpent creeping in at his Mouth had been frisking in his Stomach Here is a comparative as altogether incongruous and impertinent cry'd Fryar Jhon interrupting them for I have formerly heard that if a Serpent chance to get into a Man's Stomach it will not do him the least hurt but will immediately get out if you do but hang the Patient by the Heels and lay a pan full of warm Milk near his Mouth You were told this said Pantagruel and so were those who gave you this account but none ever saw or read of such a Cure On the contrary Hippocrates in his fifth Book of Epidem writes That such a case happening in his time the Patient presently died of a Spasm and Convulsion Besides the Cocks and Hens said the Mayor continuing his Story all the Foxes in the Country whip'd into Widenostril's Mouth posting after the Poultry which made such a stir with Reynard at their Heels that he grievously fell into Fits each minute of an hour At last by the advice of a Baden Enchanter at the time of the Paroxysm he us'd to flea a Fox by way of Antidote Since that he took better advice and easies himself with taking a Clyster made with a Decoction of Wheat and Barly-Corns and of Livers of Goslins to the first of which the Poultry run and the Foxes to the latter Besides he swallows some of your Badgers or Fox-Dogs by the way of Pills and Bolus's This is our misfortune Cease to fear good People cry'd Pantagruel This huge Widenostrils this same Swallower of Windmills is no more I 'll assure you he dy'd being stifled and choak'd with eating a lump of fresh Butter at the Mouth of a hot Oven by the advice of his Physicians CHAP. XLV How Pantagruel went ashoar in the Island of Pope Figg-land THe next morning we arrived at the Island of Popefiggs formerly a rich and free People call'd the Gaillardets but now alas miserably poor and under the Yoke of the Papimen The occasion of it was this On a certain yearly high Holy-day the Burger-Master Syndies and topping Rabbies of the Gaillardets chanc'd to go into the Neighbouring Island of Papimany to see the Festival and pass away the time Now one of them having espy'd the Pope's Picture with the sight of which according to a laudable Custom the People were bless'd on High-offering Holy-days made mouths at it and cry'd a Fig for 't as a sign of manifest Contempt and Derision To be reveng'd of this Affront the Papimen some days after without giving the others the least warning toâ—k Arms and surpriz'd destroy'd and ruin'd the whole Island of the Gaillardets putting the Men to the Sword and sparing none but the Women and Children and those too only on Condition to do what the Inhabitants of Milan were condemn'd to by the Emperor Frederick Barbarossa These had rebell'd against him in his absence and ignominiously turn'd the Empress out of the City mounting her a Horse-back on a Mule call'd Thacor with her Breech foremost toward the Old jaded Mules head and her Face turn'd towards the Crupper Now Frederick being return'd master'd them and caus'd so careful a Search to be made that he found
that fine Institution let us go to Church we shall afterwards go to Feast our selves Man of God quoth Fryar Jhon do you go before we 'll follow you you spoke in the matter properly and like a good Christian 't is long since we saw any such For my part this rejoyces my mind very much and I verily believe that I shall have the better Stomach after it well 't is a happy thing to meet with good Men Being come near the Gate of the Church we spy'd a huge thick Book gilt and covered all over with precious Stones as Rubies Emeralds and Pearls more or at least as valuable as those which Augustus consecrated to Jupiter Capitolinus This Book hang'd in the Air being fasten'd with two thick Chains of Gold to the Zoophore of the Porch We look'd on it and admir'd it As for Pantagruel he handled it and dandled it and turn'd it as he pleas'd for he could reach it without straining and he protested that whenever he touch'd it he was seiz'd with a pleasant tickling at his Fingers end new Life and Activity in his Arms and a violent temptation in his Mind to beat one or two Sergeants or such Officers provided they were not of the Shaveling-kind Homenas then said to us The Law was formerly given to the Jews by Moses written by God himself at Delphos before the Portal of Apolâ—o's Temple this Sentence 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 was found written with a Divine Hand and sometime after it was also seen and as Divinely written and transmitted from Heaven Cybele's Shrine was brought out of Heaven into a Field call'd Penisunt in Phrygia so was that of Dâ—â—a to Tauris if you will believe Euripides the Oriflambe or Holy Standard was transmitted out of Heaven to the Noble and most Christian Kings of France to fight against the Unbelievers In the Reign of Numa Pompilius second King of the Romans the famous Copper Buckler call'd Ancile was seen to descend from Heaven At Acropolis near Athens Minerva's Statue formerly fell from the Empyreal Heaven In like manner the sacred Decretals which you see were written with the hand of an Angel of the Cherubin-kind you Outlandish People will hardly believe this I fear Little enough of Conscience said Panurge And then continued Homenas they were miraculously transmitted to us here from the very Heaven of Heavens in the same manner as the River Nile is call'd Diipetes by Homer the Father of all Philosophy the holy Decretals always excepted Now because you have seen the Pope their Evangelist and everlasting Protector we will give you leave to see and kiss them on the Inside if you think it meet But then you must fast Three days before and Canonically confess nicely and strictly mustering up and inventorising your Sins great and small so thick that one single Circumstance of them may not scâ—pe you as our holy Decretals which you see direct This will take up some time Man of God answer'd Panurge we have seen and descry'd Decrees and eke Decretals enough o' Conscience some on Paper other on Parchment fine and gay like any painted Paper Lantern some on Vellom some in Manuscript and others in Print so you need not take half this Pains to shew us these We 'll take the Good-will for the Deed and thank you as much as if we had Ay Marry said Homenas but you never saw these that are Angelically written Those in your Country are only Transcripts from ours as we find it written by one of our old Decretaline Scoliasts For me Do not spare me I do not value the Labour so I may serve you do but tell me whether you will be confest and fast only three short little days of God As for shriving answer'd Panurge there can be no great harm in 't but this same Fasting Master of mine will hardly down with us at this time for we have so very much over-fasted our selves at Sea that the Spiders have spun their Cobwebs over our Grinders Do but look on this good Fryar Ihon des Entomeures Homenas then courteously Demy-clipp'd him about the Neck some Moss is growing in his Throat for want of bestirring and exercising his Chaps He speaks the Truth vouch'd Fryar Ihon I have so much fasted that I 'm almost grown hump-shoulder'd Come then let 's go into the Church said Homenas and pray forgive us if for the Present we do not sing you a fine high Mass The hour of Mid-day is past and after it our sacred Decretals forbid us to sing Mass I mean your high and lawful Mass But I 'll say a low and dry one for you I had rather have one moistened with some good Anjou Wine cry'd Panurge fall to fall to your low Mass and dispatch Od's Bodikins quoth Fryar Ihon it frets me to the Guts that I must have an empty Stomach at this time of day For had I eaten a good Breakfast and fed like a Monk if he should chance to sing us the Requiem aeternam dona eis domine I had then brought thither Bread and Wine for the Traits passes those that are gone before Well Patience Pull away and save a Tide short and sweet I pray you and this for a Cause CHAP. L. How Homenas show'd us the Arch-Type or Representation of a Pope MAss being mumbled over Homenas took a huge bundle of Keys out of a Trunk near the Head Altar and put Thirty two of them into so many Key-holes put back so many Springs then with Fourteen more master'd so many Padlocks and at last open'd an Iron-Window strongly barr'd above the said Altar This being done in token of great Mystery he cover'd himself with wet Sackcloth and drawing a Curtain of Crimson Sattin show'd us an Image daub'd over coursly enough to my thinking then he touch'd it with a pretty long stick and made us all kiss the part of the Stick that had touch'd the Image After this he said to us What think you of this Image It is the Likeness of a Pope answer'd Pantagruel I know it by the Tripple Crown his Furr'd Aumusse his Rochet and his Slipper You are in the right said Homenas it is the Idea of that same good God on Earth whose coming we devoutly await and whom we hope one day to see in this Country O happy wish'd for and much expected day and happy most happy you whose propitious Stars have so far favour'd you as to let you see the living and real Face of this good God on Earth by the single sight of whose Picture we obtain full Remission of all the Sins which we remember that we have committed as also a Third part and Eighteen Quarantaines of the Sins which we have forgot And indeed we only see it on high annual Holy days This caus'd Pantagruel to say that it was a Work like those which Daedalus us'd to make since tho' it were deform'd and ill drawn nevertheless some divine Energy in Point of Pardons lay hid and conceal'd in it
purple Liveries had been given to all of us in the Morning contriv'd a merry Mask with store of Cockle-shells shells of Snails Periwinkles and such other Then for want of Cuckoe-pint or Priest-pintle Lousebur Clote and Paper we made our selves false Faces with the Leaves of an old Sextum that had been thrown by and lay there for any one that would take it up cutting out holes for the Eyes Nose and Mouth Now did you ever hear the like since you were born when we had play'd our little Boyish Antick Tricks and came to take off our sham-faces we appear'd more hideous and ugly than the little Devils that acted the Passion at Douay For our Faces were utterly spoyl'd at the places which had been touch'd by those â—eaves one had there the Small Pox another God's Token or the Plague spot a third the Crinckums a fourth the Measles a fifth Botches Pushes and Carbuncles in short he came off the least hurt who only lost his Teeth by the bâ—rgain Miracle bawl'd out Homenas Miracâ—e Hold hold cry'd Rhizotome 't is n't yet time to clap my Sister Kate and my Sister Râ—n had put the Crepines of their Hoods their Ruffles Snoffekins and Neck-Ruffs row wash'd starch'd and iron'd into that very Book of Decretals for you must know it was cover'd with thick Boards and had strong Clasps now by the virtue of God Hold interrupted Homenas what God do you mean There is but one answer'd Rhizotome In Heaven I grant reply'd Homenas but we have another here on Earth d' ye see Ay marry have we said Rhizotome but on my Soul I protest I had quite forgot it well then by the virtue of God the Pope their Pinners Neck-ruffs Bibs Coifs and other Linnen turn'd as black as a Char-coalman's Sack Miracle cry'd Homenas Here Clerica light me here and pr'ythee Girl observe these rare Stories How comes it to pass then ask'd Fryar Jhon that People say Ever since Decrees had Tails And Gens-d ' Arms lugg'd heavy Mails Since each Monk would have a Horse All went here from bad to worse Depuis que Decrets eurent Ales Et Gens-d'Armes porterent Males Moines allerent à Cheval En ce monde abonda à tout mal I understand you answer'd Homenas this is one of the quirks and little satires of the new fangl'd Hereticks CHAP. LIII How by the Virtue of the Decretals Gold is subtilly drawn out of France to Rome I would said Epistemon it had cost me a a pint of the best Tripe that ever can enter into Gut so we had but compar'd with the Original the dreadful Chapters Execrabilis De multa Si plures De Annatis per totum Nisi essent Cum ad Monasterium Quod dilectio Mandatum and certain others that draw every year out of France to Rome four hundred thousand Ducats and more Do you make nothing of this ask'd Homenas Tho' methinks after all 't is but little if we consider that France the most Christian is the only Nurse the See of Rome has However find me in the whole World a Book whether of Philosophy Physic Law Mathematicks or other humane Learning nay even by my God of the Holy Scripture it self that will draw as much Money thence None none pshaw tush blurt pish none can You may look till your Eyes drop out of your Head nay till Dooms-day in the afternoon before you can find another of that Energy I 'll pass my word for that Yet these Devillish Heretics refuse to learn and know it Burn 'em tear 'em nip 'em with hot Pincers drown 'em hang 'em spit 'em at the Bung-hole pelt 'em paut 'em bruise 'em beat 'em cripple 'em dismember 'em cut 'm gut 'em bowell 'em paunch 'em thrash 'em slash 'em gash 'em chop 'em slice 'em slit 'em carve 'em saw 'em bethwack em pare 'em hack 'em hew 'em mince 'em flea 'em boyl 'em broyl 'em roast 'em toast 'em bake 'em fry 'em crucifie 'em crush 'em squeeze 'em grind 'em batter 'em burst 'em quarter 'em unlimb 'em bebump 'em bethump 'em belam me'em belabour 'em pepper 'em spitchcock 'em and carbonade 'em on Grind irons these wicked Heretics Decretalifuges Decretalicides worse than Homicides worse than Patricides Decretalictones of the Devil of Hell As for you other good People I most earnestly pray and beseech you to believe no other thing think on say undertake or do no other thing than what 's contain'd in our Sacred Decretals and their Corollaries this fine Sextum these fine Clementinae these fine Extravagantes O Deific Books So shall you enjoy Glory Honour Exaltation Wealth Dignities and Preferments in this World be rever'd and dreaded by all preferr'd Elected and Chosen above all Men. For there is not under the Cope of Heaven a condition of Men out of which you 'll find Persons fitter to do and handle all things than those who by Divine Prescience Eternal Predestination have applied themselves to the Study of the Holy Decretals Would you chuse a worthy Emperor a good Captain a fit General in time of War one that can well foresee all inconveniencies avoid all dangers briskly and bravely bring his Men on to a Breach or Attack still be on sure grounds always overcome without loss of his Men and know how to make a good use of his Victory Take me a Decreâ—ist No no I mean a Decretalist Ho the foul Blunder whisper'd Epistemon Would you in time of Peace find a Man capable of wisely governing the State of a Commonwealh of a Kingdom of a Empire of a Monarchy sufficient to maintain the Clergy Nobility Senate and Commonâ— in Wealth Friendship Unity Obedience Virtue and Honesty Take a Decretalist Would you find a Man who by his exemplary Life Eloquence and pious Admonitions may in a short time without effusion of humane blood Conquer the Holy Land and bring over to the Holy Church the misbelieving Turks Jews Tartars Muscovites Mammelus and Sarrabonites Take me a Decretalist What makes in many Countries the People Rebellious and deprav'd Pages sawcy and mischievous Students sottish and duncical Nothing but that their Governours Esquires and Tutors were not Decretalists But what on your Conscience was it d' ye think that establish'd confirm'd and authoris'd these fine Religious Orders with whom you see the Christian World every where adorn'd grac'd and illustrated as the Firmament is with its glorious Stars The Holy Decretals What was it that founded underpropt and fix'd and now maintains nourishes and feeds the devout Monks and Fryars in Convents Monasteriâ—s and Abbeys so that did they not daily and mightily pray without ceasing the World would be in evident danger of returning to its Primitive 〈◊〉 The Sacred Decretals What 〈…〉 the famous and celebrated Patrimony of St. Peter in plenty of all Temporal Corporeal and Spiritual Blessings The Holy Decretals What made the Holy Apostolick See and Pope of Rome in all times and at this present so dreadful in the Universe that