of France the vniuersitie of Paris doth declare vnto you in all obseruance that from her very swadling cloutes and first beginnings she hath not been so well nurtured mannered modest and peaceable as she is now by the grace and fauour of you the rest Messieurs For in steed that we were wont to see so many men and women sellers of old apparell sellers also of old mantles pattins great pots other sorts of wicked people to runne vp and downe the streetes to haunt brothell houses to draw wooll and to braule with the cookes of the little bridge Notable orders you see no more a man of such people throughout al the colledges All the supposts of the faculties and nations that made hurlie burlie for the suites of licenses appeare no more they play no more these scandalous playes and biting satyres vpon the scaffolds of colledges and ye see there a goodly reformation all these same young regents being retired that in disdaine would shewe it that they knew more Greeke and Latine then other men These factions amongst the master of artes wherein they did beate one another with the blowes of their cappes and their hoods are ceased all these schollers of great or good house little and great haue giuen vs the slippe The booke sellers printers binders guilders and other people of paper and parchment to the number of more than 30000. haue charitably deuided the wind in a 100. quarters to liue thereof and haue yet left sufficient for them that haue remained behinde them The publike professors who were all royall and politikes come not any more to breake our heads and trouble our braines with their orations and with their congregations in the three Bishops Spoken cunningly like an Alchymist they haue put themselues to doe Alchymie euery one by himselfe Briefelie all is quiet and peacefull and I will say much more vnto you Heretofore in the time of the politikes and heretikes Ramus Galandius and Turnebus no man made profession of letters vnles he had with a long hand and great charges studied and gotten artes and sciences in our colledges and passed thorough all the degrees of the scholasticall discipline But now by the meane of you the rest Messieurs and the virtue of the holy vnion and principallie by your blowes from heauen Monsieur the Lieutenant the butter men and butter wiues of Vanues the ruffians of Mont-rouge and of Vaugirard the vine dressers of Saint Cloud coblers of Villejuifue A monstrous change and other catholike cantons are become Masters in artes bachelors principals presidents and bousiers of colledges regents of classes and so sharpe subtill and argute Philosophers that better than Cicero now they dispute de inuentione that is of inuention and learne euery day to be aftodidactos Or rather Assodidactos that is teachers of themselues without any other Master than you Monsieur the Lieutenant they learne I say to dye of famine per regulas that is to say by rules Also now you heare no more in the classes that clamorment and brawling of latine amongst the regents that did batter and beate the eares of all the world in steede of this bablerie and pedlers French you heare euery houre of the daye the Argentine harmonie Meruailous Metaphors and the very idiome and proper speech of kine and weaned calues and the sweete singing of asses and of swine as if it were of the nightingales that stand vs in steede of clockes or belles for the first second and third Sometimes heretofore wee were wonderous desirous to learne and to haue the Hebrew Greeke and Latine tongues but at this present wee haue more neede of an oxe or neats tongue salted and poudred that would bee a good commentarie I can tell you after our oaten bread But le Mains and Laual and these infallible weigh Masters of Anger 's with their Capons of high grease and their wonderfull fatte hennes haue deceiued vs as well as the tongues and we haue no more but a sower and bitter remembrie of these same academicall messengers that came downe or lighted at the crosse and other famous Innes in the harpe streete and that at the daye and very poynte of time named to the great contentment of the schollers waiting for them and of their regents selling olde garments You Monsieur Lieutenant are the cause of all this and all these miracles and monstrous things are the workes of your hands and yet it is true that our predications A high commendation preachments and decrees haue not hurt or hindred them but yet for all that you were the principall motiue and instrument thereof and to speake to you in one worde you haue vndone vs and more than vndone vs Excuse me if I speake so I will say with the Prophet Dauid Loquebar in conspectu regum Such as you Monsieur are non confundebar I did speake in the sight of Kings and I was not confounded nay I did not blush no more than a blacke dogge You haue I say so defiled and defamed this faire eldest daughter Whether wilt thou Rector this shamefaste virgin this flourishing damsell the onely pearle of the world the diamond of this Fraunce the carbuncle of the Kingdome and one of the most white floure deluces of Paris that forraine and strange vniuersities make Greeke and Latin sonnets thereof Et versa est in opprobrium gentium And it is turned into the shame of the nations In the meane while my masters our doctors finde nothing therein but to laugh for they haue not the quodlibetarie questions so frequent He would haue sayd proceede there passe out no more Bachelers Licenciats nor Doctors where they were wont to haue their banquets drinkings one to another and feasts and did crambe themselues vp to the throate the wine of Orleans commeth no more here much lesse that of Gascoigne so that all ergoes are ceased and layd aside And though some one of these that are most Spaniolized by meanes of some double Duckets and doe receiue some pension of the Legate closely or secretly yet that is not as much to say that the others feele it Moreouer Monsieur the Lieutenant you haue caused Louchard And why not for of like there should be the like cōsideration your steward or pursebearer and a very zealous man to be hanged and haue by consequēt declared to be hangable all they that haue been present at the ceremonie of the order of the vnion which hath been giuen to the president Brisson Now so it is that all the young Curats Priests and Friers of our vniuersitie and our other Doctors for the most part That is we are caught in the lime twigge we haue all been promoters of this tragedie therefore gluc And I tell you that if you had not hasted your selfe to come wee had indeede serued our turnes with others and wee had not remayned in so faire a way and such speech at this day is
prouinces the very wine lees of our gouernement A country metaphor which are come hither with so many trauailes some on foot some alone other some in the night and the greatest parte at your owne costs and charges Doe not you wonder at the heroicall actes of our Louchards Gentlemen of the new stampe Bussis Senaulds Oudineaux Morreliers Crucez Goudards and Drouarts who haue so well come by the feather What thinke you of so many Caboches as are found and God hath raised vp at Paris Roan Lions Orleans Troyes Toulouze Amiens where you see butchers taylors fillipers iuglers tumblers cutlers and other sortes of persons of the very drosse and scumme of the people to haue the first voyce in councell and assemblies of the estate and to giue lawe to them that before were great of race of riches and of qualitie who now dare not cough nor mutter before them Scripture rightly applied Is it not in this that the prophecie is accomplished which saith hee raiseth the poore out of the dungehil Should not this be a crime to passe ouer vnder silence that holy martyr fryer Iames Clement who hauing been the most vnorderly and wicked of all his couent as all the Iacobins of this citie knowe well inough and hauing many times had the chapter and the diffamatorie whip for his thieueries and wickednesses is notwithstanding sanctified at this daye and now is alofte to debate and dispute with S. Iago of Compostella Affections fit enough for such a fact and fellow who shall haue the first seate O blessed confessor and martyr of God How gladlie would I bee the paranimph and encomiast of thy praises if my eloquence could atâ—aine to thy merits But I loue better to holde my peace therein than to speake too little thereof And continuing my discourse I will speake of the strange conuersion of mine owne proper person although that Cato saith Nec te laudaris nec te culpaueris ipse A great clarke good latinist and singular versifier thou shalt neither praise thy selfe neither shalt thou blame thy selfe yet I will freely confesse vnto you that before this holy enterprise of the vnion I was no great deuourer of the crucifix and some very neare about me and that haunted me most familiarly haue had in opinion that I did a little smell of the faggot because that being a yong scholler I tooke pleasure in reading the bookes of Caluin and being at Tolouze I had mingled my selfe to preach and teach in the night with the new Lutherans and afterwardes made no great conscience nor difficultie to eate flesh in Lent nor to lie with my sister A beast for abusing thy sister and Gods word also following the examples of the holy patriarches of the Bible But since that I had signed the holy league and the fundamentall lawe of this estate accompanied with double duckets and of the hope that I had of a redde batte no man hath doubted touching my beliefe neither hath there any further inquirie been made touching either my conscience or my cariages Verily I confesse that I owe this grace of my conuersion next after God to Monsieur the Duke d'Espernon who hauing vpbraided me in the Councell with that whereof none doubted in Lions touching my sister in lawe was the cause that of a great politike and a very slender Caluinist that I was From euill to worse I became a great and coniured leaguer as I am at this present the director and ordainor of secret affaires and such as importe the estate of the holy vnion neither more nor lesse than blessed Saint Paul who of a persecutor of christians was made the vessell of election This is the cause wherefore hee saith where sinne hath abounded there shall grace also abounde Doubte not then any more to continue firme and constant in this holy partie full of so many miracles and of strokes from heauen of which you must needes make a fundamentall lawe As touching the necessities and oppressions of the clergie you shall or may aduise thereof if it please you for for my regarde I will put paine that my great pot bee not ouerthrowne and I shall alwaies haue credite with Roland and Ribault that will not fayle to pay mee my pensions from whatsoeuer part siluer come Euery one will aduise to prouide for himselfe if he thinke it so good and for my parte I desire not peace vnlesse first I may be a Cardinal as they haue promised mee and as I my selfe haue well deserued If thou maiest be iudge For without mee Monsieur the Lieutenant could not be in the degree where he is because it was me my selfe that retained the late Duke of Guise his brother who woulde willinglie haue gone from the estates of Bloys distrusting of some deafe deuise and ambushment of the tirant but I caused him to remaine and to waite for a dispatch from Rome which should be brought me within three dayes and that was the cause why Madame his mother here present hath many times reproached me that I was the cause of his death whereof Monsieur the Lieutenant and all his ought to yeelde mee thankes because that vpon this pretext and to reuenge this goodly death of his Whot passions and bad perswasions we haue stirred vp the people and taken occasion to make another King Courage therefore courage I say my friends feare not to expose your liues and that which remaineth of your goods for Monsieur the Lieutenant and for them of his house These are good princes and good Catholikes who loue you to the full and on the ridge Speake not here of abrogating from him his power which some murmur and mutter that it was not giuen him but vntil some next holding or assembly of the Estates but these are the accountes of the Storke They that haue tasted this morsell they will neuer bite Would you demaund a more goodly and braue king and one that is more grosse and more grasse or fattie than he is Good parts to commend to a kingdome Hee is by S. Iames a faire peece of flesh and I thinke you cannot finde one that ouerweigheth him Messieurs of the nobilitie that keepe the townes and castles in the name of the holy vnion are you not very glad to leuie and gather vp all the taxes tenths aydes shoppes fortifications watches imposts and that which is giuen for all wares as well by water as by land and to take your rights and customes vpon all prices ransomes and pillages without being bound to make an account thereof to any man Vnder what King would you finde a better condition You are Barons you are Counties and Dukes in the proprietie of all the places and prouinces which you hold You command absolutely therein Right as can be of clubbes spades and all saue the harts and as it were kings of the cardes What would you haue better Leaue and forget these glorious names of French monarchie and
can be Can you thinke rightly that he that is the Lord of so many kingdomes that he cannot count them nor call them by the letters of the crosse to we and so rich that he cannot tell what to doe with his treasures would so much as take paine only to wish so small a thing as the signeurie of France The foxe saith he will eate no grapes All Europe by a manner of speech is not so much as one countrie in comparison of the new Ilands conquered against the sauages when he sweateth these are his Diadems when hee wipeth his nose or face these are his Crownes when he tosteth himselfe these are his Scepters when he goeth about his affayres these are nothing but Counties Dukedomes that come out of his bodie he is so well stuffed and replenished therewith It should be then to very great purpose to suspect that hee would be King of France But what what I say not therefore to heale the kings euill or great poxe wherewith his Southerly countries are very sore infected hee maketh not any reckoning of the prayers of the deuout inhabitants of his good towne of Paris who haue besought him by plaine letters signed with their hands to receiue them as his good subiects and seruants to accept the weightie burthen of the Crowne of France or if his backe were so bowed and charged with other Crownes more precious that that of France could not finde place that yet at the least he would recompence therewith one of his Nobles or Princes who should doe him fealtie hommage and reuerence for it Marrie otherwise I beseech you for the honour of God A reasonable request thinke not that he thinketh thereof His behauiours in the Low Countries and in the new found lands should assure you that he thinketh of no euill no more then an old ape And though it were so Begin Cardinall with thy selfe and thy friends and then it may be thou shalt the better perswade that he had caused you all to kill one another and to perish by fire sword and famine should not you be very happie to bee placed on high in Paradise aboue Confessors and Patriarches and to mocke at these Maheutres which you should see vnderneath you to roste boyle in Lucifers fires Dye when you will wee haue Moores Africans Wallons and Foruscites to set in your place kil murder and burne hardly all Monsieur the Legate will pardon all Monsieur the Lieutenant will aduow all Monsieur d'Aumale will adiudge all Monsieur of Lions will seale all and Monsieur Marteau will signe all I my selfe will serue you for a father confessor and all France also if it haue the heart or spirit to suffer it selfe to dye a good Catholike to make the Lorraines and Spanyards her heires as I beseech you all in generall and particular assuring you next after Monsieur the Legate that your soules shall not passe thorowe the fire of purgatorie A gracious graunt hauing been alreadie sufficiently purged by the fires which we haue inkindled in the foure riuers and in the midst of this Realme for the holie League and by the penance fastings and abstinence which wee would make you doe in deuotion As touching the election of a King I giue my voyce to the Marquis of Chaussons Quaint qualities for such a place he is neither thicke lipped nor flat nosed but a good Catholike Apostolike and Romane I recommend him vnto you and me for my selfe In the name of the father the sonne and the spirit Amen These words being finished all the Doctors of Sorbonne and masters of Arts there present strooke the palmes of their hands together and cryed Viuat that is let him liue sundrie times together so mightily that all the hall sounded with it and after that the noise was a little ceased the Prior of the blacke Monkes rose vp out of his place and mounted vpon his bench or seate from whence he pronounced very loudly and that with good grace also these foure little verses as if he had composed them ex tempore Or ex trumperie rather His eloquence he was not able to cause to be seene For fault of one booke in which all his knowledges beene My Lords the Estates this very good man excuse His Calepin at Rome he left and could it not vse And euen presently after a little master of Arts stood out on his feete and turning his visage towards Monsieur the Cardinall of Pelue replied vpon the same point in so many carmes or verses Adde but h◠and it will be charms The ignorant Friers had very good reason To make you their head Monsieur most grand For they that haue heard your goodly oraison Haue be knowne you to be of other the most ignorant All the world thought this rime very pleasant and after they had made a second clapping of the hands yet not so long as the first was Monsieur of Lions rose vp made a signe with his hand that he would speake Great preparations to heare a goose hisse Wherfore after that all the world had sonorously and theologically coughed hauked spit and respitted that they might the more attentiuely heare him by reason of the reputation of his eloquence hee discoursed thus or thereabout The Oration of Monsieur of Lions MEssieurs I will begin my speech by a patheticall exclamation of the royall Prophet Dauid Quam terribilia iudicia tua c. O God how terrible and admirable are thy iudgments They that will very narrowly looke or take heede to the beginnings and proceedings of our holie vnion shall haue very good occasion with their hands ioyned together Ah mannerly Prelate and lifted vp into heauen to crie O God if your iudgments bee incomprehensible how much your graces are they more admirable and to say with the Apostle Where sin aboūded there superabounded grace also Is not this a very strange thing Messieurs yea zealous Catholikes to see our vnion now so holie so zealous so deuoute that was almost in all the parts of it composed of people that before the holie barricades were all beiewelled and enriched with some note ill folfaied Warre worketh wonders and also ill agreeing with iustice And as it were by a miraculous metamorphosis to see sodainly and at one blow Or rather ordure atheisme conuerted into ardure and feruencie of deuotion ignorance into science of all nouelties and curiositie of newes concussion and extortion into fastings robberie into generositie and valiantnes to be short vice and crime transmutated into glorie and honour These are the stroakes from heauen as Monsieur the Lieutenant hath sayd euen from God himselfe I say so fayre and beautifull that Frenchmen ought to open the eyes of their vnderstanding profoundly for to consider these miracles and thereupon ought the good people of this Realme and those that enioy goods to to be red with shame with almost al the Nobilitie the more sound
father and of a good mother one whom the prophecies haue of long time destined to kingdomes and empires and haue surnamed you Pepin the short or curtalled You behold you vpon the poynt to be another great Charles the great your great great grandfather if the fayre or market hold But regard I pray you that you suffer not your selfe to bee deceiued These Messieurs of Spayne Spanyards paynted out although they be our very good friends good Catholikes be not merchants at one word and buy sell with no more and that is found true in them not at this time only for there are almost two thousand yeares since that they haue medled with more matters then they should and that men haue giuen them this name to bee fine and cunning in doubling of poynts They promise you this diuine damosel or daughter in mariage to make her a Queene in solidum that is altogether and wholly with you but take you heede that the Duke de Feria haue not filled his seates signed without charge He hath a boxe full of such things wherewith he serueth himselfe vpon all occurrences as of a last for euery shooe and as one saddle for all horses he dates them or he antedates them with his chamber pot when pleaseth him I haue feare something that he hath propounded vnto vs that this is nothing but arte and subtiltie to amaze vs withal when he hath seene that we will not vnderstand or be of minde to breake the law Salick If you haue but neuer so little nose you shall smell it For we knowe in good part that the marriage is alreadie accorded of her and of her cousin the Archduke Ernest Adde that is ioyne hereunto that those of the house of Austrich doe as the Iewes doe that doe not marrie but in their tribe or familie and hold one another by the tayle as hannekins and hannetons doe Leaue of therefore this vaine hope of Gynecocratie That is gouernment of women together and beleeue that little children mocke at it and goe from it to mustard I heard the other day one that comming verie brauely from the tauerne did sing these foure verses The League finding it selfe flat nosed And the Leaguers much without repose Aduised themselues of a fetch which is To make a King without a nose But if I had been able to haue made him to haue been caught by the commissarie Bazin who ranne after him he had had no lesse then the miller that mocked our Estates What wil you say to these impudent politikes that haue put you in a shape in a faire leafe of paper A prety deuise alreadie crowned as a king of the cardes by anticipation and in the same leafe haue also put the figure of the sayd infant or daughter crowned for Queene of France as you you regarding huze a huze one the other And in the neather part of the sayd painture haue placed these verses which I haue kept by heart because that therein it goeth as on your side The French Spanalized haue made a King of France To the daughter of Spayne they promised haue this King A royaltie very small and of slender importance For their France is comprised within Paris a strange thing O Hymen mariage god for this cold mariage Thy quiet torch I pray at this time doe not bring Of these disioyned corps men set out the image That make the loue of eyes both two within one thing It is a royaltie onely in shew most sure Deceit and not true loue hatched hath this mariage Good cause that being King of France in portraiture They cause him to espouse of a Queene the image If Monsieur of Orleans in the qualitie of Aduocate general would cause to be searched out these same wicked politike Printers it is his charge and they might bee knowne by their caracters and his good gossips Bichon N. Niuelle Chaudiere Morel and Thiere will discouer the matrice Touching my selfe I willingly forbeare it for these heretikes are euill speakers as diuels I should feare they would make some booke against me as they did against the Catholike Doctor and Lawyer Chopin vnder the name of Turlupin And neuer mend it is like lie Messieurs of the hall or place of hearing will therein doe their duetie more loco solitis after their wonted manner and place I will hold my selfe content to preach the word of God to maintaine my Beadles and carefully to solicite my pensions Let all this be spoken by a parenthesis But Monsieur de Guise my good child beleeue me and you shall beleeue a very foole stay no more vpon that Neuer better spoken it is not foode for our foules or birds Lift not vp your traine for all this we doe not inlarge or make longer your table by reason of this There is hay there are none but beasts that delight in it but doe better obtaine of the holie father a croisade or an expedition and voyage against the Turkes and goe and reconquer that goodly kingdome of Ierusalem which appertaineth to you by reason of Godfrey your great vncle euen as wel as that of Sicilie and the kingdome of Naples How many scepters and crownes are prepared for you if your horoscopus lie not as you your selfe are wont to say that you haue not a limited fortune Leaue this same wretched and miserable kingdome of France to him that will vouchsafe to take the burthen of it It is not fit that your spirit borne for Empires and the vniuersall monarchie of the habitable world should stoope to so small morsels or matters and vnworthie of you and of your late father A carefull caution whom God absolue if it be permitted to speake so of Saints And you Monsier the Lieutenant to whom I must needes now speake What thinke you to doe you are grosse and fully panched you are heauie and deformed you haue head big enough in deede to beare a crowne But what you say you will none of it and that it would too much ouer burthē you The politikes say that the foxe sayd so touching mulberies which he would faine haue had The foxe will eate no grapes You hinder vnder hād that your nephew shuld not be chosē you forbid the deputies that none of them bee so bold as to touch this great string of the royaltie or kingdom What shall we do then We must haue a King who as the politike doctors say is better takē thē sought You make the K. of Spaine beleeue that you keep the kingdom of Frāce for him for his daughter vnder this hope you sucke draw from the honest man all that that the Indies and Peru can send him he maintaineth vnto you your plate he sendeth you armor armies but not at your deuotion or disposition For he looketh to himselfe for all you and hee distrusteth you both one and other as though ye were blinde A iust iudgement and taketh you as
beasts as hee hath done the shippe of Paris I will say that he hath skill to doe more than Master Mousche or flie These beastes forget some times their gouernours speciallie if they change their habite or attire hee shall not bee ill parted with if hee come to his pretentions whereto you Monsieur the Lieutenant and Monsieur of Lyons will doe him I beleeue very good offices The whole summe Messieurs you are too many dogges to gnawe one boane you are iealous and enuious one of another and you can neuer tell how to agree or liue without warre that would put vs into worse estate than before But I will tell you let vs doe Deepe counsell as they haue done in the consistorie for the election or choyse of a holy father when two Cardinals sued and laboured for the popedome the other Cardinals for feare they should incurre the hatred of the one or of the other chose one amongst themselues the weakest backed of them all and made him Pope Let vs doe so you are foure or fiue robbers in the realme all great Princes and such as haue no want of appetite and stomacke I am of aduise that not one of you should be king wherefore I giue my voyce to Guillot Fagotin the keeper of Gentilly a good vine dresser and an honest man who singeth well at the deske and knoweth all his office or seruice booke by heart A worthie example This will not be found without example in such times as this is witnesse the Harelle of Roane where they made king one named le Grasse or the fatte one as wee would say who was much worse aduised than Guillot And thus you see whereupon I founde and grounde mine aduise I haue read sometimes the great and diuine Philosopher Plato who saith that those realmes are happie where Philosophers are kings and where kings are Philosophers Now I know that it is little more than three yeares since that this good gardian of Gentilly and his familie together with his kine meditated day and night Philosophie in a hall of our colledge in which there is more than two hundred good yeares that men haue read and treated and disputed publikely philosophie and all Aristotle The place sanctifieth the person with these men in all matters and all sortes of good morall bookes It is not possible that this good man hauing raued slumbred and slept so many dayes and nights within these philosophicall walles where there haue been made so many skillfull lessons and disputes and so many goodly wordes vttered that there should not something thereof abide that hath entred pierced and penetrated into his braine as it did to the poet Hesiodus when hee had slept vpon mount Parnassus And this is the cause why I persist and meane that he may as well be king as another Now as Monsieur Roze ended these wordes there sprong out a great murmuring amongst the deputies some approuing other some reprouing his opinion and the princes and the princesses were seene to whisper in the eare one of another yea it was hard that Monsieur the Lieutenant saide very basely to the Legate this foole here will marre all our misterie A prophesie and no lie Notwithstanding the foresaid Roze would haue continued his speech but when hee sawe the noyse to begin againe with a certaine generall clacking of hands he rose vp in choler and cried with a very loude and outstretched voyce How now Messieurs Is it permitted here to speake what one thinketh Haue not I libertie to speake and conclude my arguments as Monsieur of Lyon hath done I know well that if I had been a courtier as he I should not haue named a person for he hath charge from the clergie to name Countie du Bouchage Frier Angell for the hope that this Prince louing change would change also our miseries into stroakes or blowes from heauen But I pray you keepe him to beare the golden torch in the battailes for it ought to be enough for him that he hath quite forsaken the bagge and the wallet At these wordes euery one began againe to crie to whistle to hisse and though the heraulds the vshers porters and all cried aloude Hush and be still the word peace is a bull-begger let euery man holde his tongue not dating to speake the worde peace there and that Monsieur the Lieutenant sundrie times commaunded them to make silence yet it was not possible to appease the bruite and noise in so much that the sayd Lord Rector sweate fret fomed and stroke with his foote and seeing that there was no more meane to take his theame againe cryed as loude as hee could Messieurs Messieurs I see well that you are in the Court of King Petault where eueryone is master I leaue it to you and you to your selues let another speake I haue spoken And thereupon he set himselfe downe againe mumbling very much and wiping the sweate from his forehead and there scaped from him as some say certaine odoriferant belchings of the stomacke that smelled of the perfume of his choller with certain words in a low note complaining that they had defrauded the assignation sent out of Spayne for my masters the Doctors Good stuffe but there can come nothing els from thēce and that others had made their profite of it but that this was the gold of Tholouze which should cost them very dearely At the last the rumour beginning a little to bee reappeased Monsieur du Rieu the younger Countie and gardien or keeper of Pierre-font deputie for the Nobilitie of France apparrelled with a little cape after the Spanish fashion and a certaine high coppin tancked hat lifted vp himselfe to speake and hauing twise or thrise put his hand to his throate which did itch he began in forme following Or Roration rather as you shall perceiue by the things contained herein and the manner of the handling thereof The Oration of the Lord of Rieu Lord of Perrierefont for the nobilitie of the vnion MEssieurs I knowe no cause why they haue deputed me to beare the word in so good a companie for all the Nobilitie on our side I must needes say that there is some diuine thing or matter in the holy vnion seeing that by the meanes thereof of a commissarie of the artillerie poore miserable enough I am become a gentleman and the gouernour of a very faire fortresse yea that I may equall my selfe to the greatest and am one day to mount very high either backward or otherwise I haue good occasion to followe you Monsieur the Lieutenant and to doe seruice to this noble assemblie by black or by white He dwelleth by euill neighbours by wrong or by right seeing that all the poure Priests Friers and good people deuout Catholikes I assure you doe bring mee candles and adore mee as a S. Maccabee of times passed This is the cause wherefore I giue my selfe to the liueliest and quickest of the diuels that
if any of my gouernment thrust in himselfe to speak of peace I runne vpon him as a grey or russet woolfe Let warre liue there is nothing but to haue it of what part soeuer it befall I see I cannot tell what nicenes of our nobilitie that speake of preseruing religion and the estate altogether and that the Spanyards shall lose in the ende the one and the other if we suffer them to doe it Touching my selfe I meane nothing of all this prouided that I leuie taxes daily and that they pay me my appointmēts I care not what betide the Pope or the pretie wench his wife Wel and wisely added I am after my intelligences to take Noyon if I can bring it about to effect I shall be Bishop of the towne and of the fields to and shall make a mouth at them of Compeigne In the meane while I chase the cowe and the inhabitant also as much as I can and there shall not be peasant husbandman or merchant round about me and within tenne miles compasse that shall not passe by my hands and that shall not pay me custome and raunsome I know inuentions to make them come to reason I giue them whipcordes or the ends of cordes tyed with knots vpon them A right comparison after the fashion of the Franciscane Friers girdle I hang them vp by the arme holes I heate their feete with a red hot frying pan I put them in yrons and in the stockes I shut them vp in an ouen in a chest that is powred full of water I hang them as a capon to be rosted I beate them with stirrop leathers I salt them I make them to fast I tye thē being stretched out within a fanne Briefly If crueltie be gentlenes I haue a thousand gentle meanes to draw out the quintessence of their purses and to haue their substance and to make them beggers and vagabonds for euer they and all their race What care I for that so I haue it Let no man speake to me hereupon touching the poynt of honor I know not what it meaneth There are that boast they are descended of these olde Knights of France that chased the Sarasins out of Spayne and put King Peter againe into his kingdome Othersome say that they are of the race that went to conquer the holie land with S. Lewis Others that they are come downe from them that haue sundrie times placed the Popes againe in their seates or that haue driuen the Englishman out of France and the Bourguignons out of Picardie or that haue passed the mountaines for the conquests of Naples and of Millan Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh which the King of Spayne hath vsurped against vs. I care not for all these titles and goodly conueiances nor for armes whether they were timbred or not timbred I would be a villaine of foure descents or races so that alwaies I may receiue taxes without yeelding an account I haue not read neither the bookes nor the histories and Annales of France I haue nothing to do with this to know whether it be true that there were Paladins and Knights of the round table that made profession of nothing but of honor and to defend their King and their countrie and would rather bee dead then receiue a reproach or suffer that one should doe iniurie to an other I haue heard reckoned vp by my grandmother in carrying her butter to market to sell that there had been sometimes one Gaston de Fois one Countie de Dunois one la Hire one Poton one captaine Bayart others who became inraged for this poynt of honor and to get glorie to the Frenchmen But I take my leaue of their good graces as in this regard An example or description of a lustie cutter such a one as was Kain Lamech or Nimrod I haue a good rapier and a good pistolet and there is neither Sergeant nor Prouost of merchants that dare summon or arrest me Fall out what may it is sufficient for me that I am a good Catholike Iustice was neuer made for gentlemen such a one as I my selfe am I will take the kine and the cocks and hennes of my neighbour when it shall please me I will raise vp the rents of his lands I will take them away againe and shut them vp with mine owne within my inclosure and yet he shall not dare to mumble or grumble at it All shall be for my good comelines I will not suffer my subiects to pay taxes or toles but to my selfe and I counsell you Messieurs the nobles to doe euen so And so indeede there shall be no neede of treasurers and financiers or receiuers of reuenues that may make themselues fat with and vse the substance of the people as the coleworts of their garden Ill sworne and like a new vpstart gentlemā By the death of God if I finde either sergeant or receiuer or man of iustice doing exployt vpon my lands without demaunding leaue of me therefore I wil make them eate their parchemine we haue indured enough are we not free Monsieur Lieutenant haue not you giuen vs license to doe all things and Monsieur the Legate hath not he layd the bridle in our neckes Good counsel of a ghostly father to take all the goods of the politikes to kill and to murther kinsfolkes friends neighbours father and mother prouided that therein we doe our owne businesses and that we be good Catholikes without euer speaking either of truce or of peace I for my part will doe so and I pray you also to do the like But I haue yet another thing to remonstrate vnto you that is not to speake any more of this Salique law I know not what it is He meaneth double duckets but Seigneur Diego hath giuen it mee by memorie with some round peeces that will doe me great good This in the whole is the matter that wee must goe sacke these same furred hoods of the court of Parliament that play the galants and meddle with the affaires of the estate where they haue nothing to doe but to see and behold O that you would giue them me but a little to manage neuer did Bussie the clerke doe his worke so well If Monsieur the Legate commaund me only to goe to them and put my hand on their necke or breast there is not either square cappe or hood that I will not make flye about if they heare mine eares ouer much yea to this Monsieur Maistre and to this du Vayr that set all the rest in traine Monsieur Lieutenant why giue you not order for it Know you not wel that the president de Nully hath told you named by name by surname all they that haue spoken for this wicked lawe Why doe you not send for them and throw them into the riuer as he hath counselled you And this goodly fellowe Marillac that was so much heate at the beginning
the Cardinall of Pelve made to the Estates of Paris MY great good friend you shall vnderstand by this rime That yesterday the estates were opened in good time Where there were very many goodly orations made But of all them that of tongues had the gift or trade That great and graue Prelate of Sens the Cardinall By his learned discourse hath rauished vs of our wits all Doe you desire to heare it vnstop doe your eares then So saith the song and you shal haue meruailes amongst meÌ„ He spake very largely of one father Pretion Of whom that learned Liuie maketh the ample mention In his Decade where he saith that in his time or age This worthie Pretion was a very great personage He speaketh further of this exiuit edictum But I know not whether he were a Greeke or a Britton He spake also de Domino and of the countrie du Mayne In a very well set countenance and a grauitie Romaine Of S. Paul the conuert he spake much also How fearefull he was when vpside downe he fell tho A graue and great proofe And so he said he was a gentleman braue and bred Which appeared by this that at Rome he lost his head He spake in French also that was lame and a runnagate Of the Spanyard forsooth and of the bonet of the Legate For Gregorie this is eloqueÌ„â—e passing intelligence And of his blessed crosse and of Gringore the Pope Of Luxembourgh and Pisani of whoÌ„ they haue small hope When he spake of the place that was so fowly araied Some thought then how much he was defiled and afraied When he daunced la volte and a very great companie say That this was for K.K. his niece or kinswoman gay An incestuous Cardinall Another added therewithall howbeit a very good coÌ„panion Fie vpon the same said he it smelleth much of an onyon He bragged that if he might one day in the Consistorie speÌ„d With fiue protests al coÌ„trouersies he wold soone heare end The fencer he plaid and to them that heard him he seemed to vaunt That Iesus Christ himselfe had sometime been a protestant Some danger there is They shall haue a good catch that some one or other will him send To the protestants in Germanie amongst them his life for to end As for that which remaineth this bearer that was nie Heard all the matter and whom of purpose send I Shall tell it you better so much write doth my pen That its alreadie reft and laugheth lowd now and then Farewell An excuse touching the sayd oration His eloquence he could not make seene yet had he a good wil For want of a little pretie booke wherein was all his skill Learning lieth in his booke My Lords the estates excuse this man good and kind At Rome his learned Calepine he left there behind A dictionarie Another touching the same oration The ignorant friers had very great reason Like will to like quoth the diuell to the collier To make you their head Monsieur most grant For they that haue heard your goodly oraison Indeed haue confessed you to be most ignorant To the Spanyards concerning their double duckets Good Lord how yellow and how faire No good vsing of Gods name Doe your double duckets appeare Cause of them to be searched out great store Spanyards he meaneth Ye halfe Moores and more In the midst of your yellow and golden sands Or from thence you shall be returned all dried vp and burned Paris which is not your pray sends you cleaue away That is greatly derided With a hundred foote of nose thorow all lands Vpon the bruit that ranne abroad that they ment to make a Patriarch in France and touching the hanging of foure of the sixteene Holie father France to hold you haue no hope If they there set vp against you another Pope Sure you will lose it thinke well of it yet It s no small morsell to lose when nought you can get Reasons why the Pope shall forgoe France Those mischieuous Maheutres and shred politikes Though themselues they doe call good Catholikes Yet surely good Romanes they neuer will be And much lesse the Huguenots of all them three Our Paris the poore hath so much sustained sure As impossible it is any more it should indure Thinke well of it at the least if you will A kingdome diuided can not long indure The zealous Catholikes there they hang doe and kill From sixteene to twelue the number is decreast And so without doubt swept needes must be the rest That after the first foure brought downe from aboue They may be set on perches as it were a stockdoue Touching Mont-falcon and the sixteene of Paris The proportion is good That each haue his owne is iustice indeed To Paris sixteene by foure quarters agreed Mont-falcon must haue sixteene pillers hie So euery one hath his owne who can this denie Touching a treasurer who has committed prisoner to the Bastille What hath he done that thus in prison they hold In his chest good store had he of angels and gold Gold many times bringeth his griefe Oh sore wicked man that to prison he goes He did lodge too nigh him his very great foes Vpon the imprisonment of a foolish aduocate For my part I know not by what good reason A drie blow against iniustice That out of the Cannon or Ciuill law can be had They haue thus put a sot or foole into prison Sith thorow the streetes there runne so many mad Concerning the bonfires made at Saint Peters feast 1592. The fire at S. Iohns feast liked me well Woe be to theÌ„ that laugh for they shall weepe They sing about it daunce roundly and turne Concerning S. Peters nothing I will tell But these fires our France enkindle and burne Whereupon they were called the zealous of the vnion God speede ye Messieurs ye Catholikes Without faith in God or his sonne and delite Greedily haue ye deuoured vp the blessed relikes What will not these men doe that deface their owne religion And the Crucifix ye haue swallowed vp quite Some thinke that for your zeale and no other things Good men you zealous name doe and call But you haue this name indeed of the wings Because so well you doe flie therewithall The wicked spirit that doth you inrage Vnder the colour of blessed religion France hath razed and vnited in this age Accursed bee that vnion that maketh dissention And thereof and not els it is called the vnion Touching the double crosses of the league Tell me I pray thee what it doth signifie That the leaguers haue a double crosse with paine An excellent mystery Surely that in the league they meane to crucifie Gods sonne Christ himselfe yet once againe To Monsieur the Lieutenant touching the taking of Pelade Mocke on hardly and cloath him with shame Pelade sir you haue taken sure By the breach that you doe
of scepter and of crowne thou shouldst commād with glee Notwithstanding all this ô King a King thou shalt be sure A worthie sentence Its virtue that makes kings their crowne al for to indure In Latin and translated out of it Vnconquered prince and of thine age the glorie eke alone True for kings reigne by him Euen GOD himselfe doth set thee vp vpon thy grandsires throne And with a happy hād doth reach to thee two scepters braue Which takē from the Spanish foe thou shalt vphold haue In daies past one of the sisters three did spin this goodly thred But though they should denie to thee the gold crowne of thy head And eke the holie oyle that was vouchsafed of France to the King Which messenger both swift and faire from heauen high did bring That shal not let but rule thou maiest after thy fathers rate Virtue crowns the king virtue I say the king doth cōsecrate 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 T. W. THE FRENCH PRINTERS DISCOVRSE TOVCHING THE exposition of these words Higuiero of hell and concerning other matters which he learned of the Author himselfe MY masters and good friends the profite that I haue made by the imprinting of this treatie and that which I owe to this discourse haue made mee very desirous to knowe who was the author hereof For after that the French copie was first giuē me at Chartres at the consecration of the King by the gentleman of whom I haue heretofore made mention I did perceiue that sundry learned men yea and I my selfe did very easily iudge by the stile and language of the booke that an Italian was neuer able to make so good a french worke and so well polished as this is that sheweth an absolute knowledge of all the affaires and of the very natural disposition of all the most famous men of Fraunce Wherefore we must of necessitie conclude that hee was a French man that made it yea such a French man as had good vnderstanding and intelligence and was well trained vp at court that the Florentine which was about to cary it into his countrie from whom his seruant stole it together with the male had but only turned it out of French into Italian that so hee might cause it to be seene and read in Italie And this was the cause why I my selfe trauailed with a certaine wonderfull care to discouer and finde out him who had made vs indebted vnto him for this worthy worke that hath giuen so great pleasure contentment and liking to all good and honest people But notwithstanding all the inquirie that I was able to make thereabout I could not finde a man that told mee any very certaine and assured newes touching the same but speaking only by presumptions suspitions and coniectures till one of these dayes last past when I was almost past hope to knowe any thing touching the matter there did by fortune come vnto me in the street a very aged man very leane also and pale which since I haue heard to bee called Master Polypragmon That is Master busie bodie who abruptly and vpon the sodaine demaunded of me if it were not I that had printed the Catholicon of Spaine At the first I made some difficultie and doubt to confesse it vnto him fearing that hee had bin some one of them that had bin named therein and had felt himselfe moued therewith as diuers had done no no saith he keep not close from me that that all the world knoweth I was at Yours when you first imprinted it and knowe indeed the name of them that gaue you the originall copie thereof but for all that it may bee that neither your selfe not they which gaue you it knewe who was the author thereof Perceiuing then that he knewe so much of this matter I could not but confesse that in trueth I had printed it at Tours but that I was not able to finish it but in the very time that I must truste vp my baggage to come into this citie after that the Parisiens were returned to their former good vnderstanding and brought into the obediēce of the King That fell out well for you sayd he for before that you had set it abroad diuers men had seene sundrie imperfect and defectiue copies which had very much stirred vp their desire to see the rest well polished and published But you are much out of the way when in your Epistle set before the booke you sayd that it was an Italian that made it at the assēbly of the Estates of Paris For I know very well the name of him that composed it who also lodgeth not farre from hence Whereupon I was very glad of this encountring and I did very earnestly pray him to name him vnto mee at the least wise if it were lawfull for me to know him because that I had very many thinges of great importance to tell him for his benefit and honor I will sayd he tell you his name and wil also shewe you his lodging vpon condition that you will not disclose it to any man for he is a person that doth not loue to be so much visited as many doe now a daies Those that told you that hee was of Italie were deceiued by one letter only he is not of Italie but of Alethie That is Truth which is farre differing from the other That is Libertie That is Free speakers That is Louers of mony That is Desirers of honor That is Vnknowne That is a hater of gardens and he was borne in a little towne that men call Eleuthere inhabited heretofore and built by the Parresiens who haue continual warre against the Argyrophiles Timomanes a very puissant populous natiō His name is the Lord Agnosse of the familie and stocke of Misoquenes a gentleman of good estate and no deceiuer which loueth the counsell of wine better than the councell of Trent You shall know him by this that he is alwaies attired after one maner and neuer changeth his apparell or garments as if hee had nothing els but to thinke vpon and to gouerne Lions Hee is a great little man that hath his nose between both his eies his teeth in his mouth his beard vpon his chinne and willingly wipeth his mouth and his nose vpon his sleeues You shall find him at this present lodged in the streete of Good time at the signe of the Rich labourer and he goeth very often to walke in the blacke Friers because hee loueth them very well And hereupon I recommend me vnto you for I haue to deale in other places by reason of certaine packets that are come from Rome which assure vs that our absolution hangeth by no more but a twisted thread at this time of the yeere As hee had very brutishly thickly spoken these words he went his way and left me yet in suspence notwithstanding I was somewhat better satisfied than I was before sith I knewe the name and the lodging place of
vs range our selues to the ancient fidelitie and humilitie which wee owe vnto our King without partialitie or varietie of minds Neither should any man thinke it ill that wee pricke and prouoke them that shewe themselues to bee restiue and seeme as it were to repent that they haue repented In all euents whatsoeuer when there shall be no other but those that are notoriously wicked and yet will bee offended therewithall I beleeue that the Parresiens will not bee much grieued therewith Neither doubt I but that little Oliuier and Boucher and d' Orleans will bee now much troubled to make some Anticatholicon and Apologies against the tables and tapistries for they haue now leasure to sell them and many men looke for them if their Lucubrations and studies may deserue such expectation As concerning my selfe I will alwaies counsell my cousin to busie himselfe about some other thing than to answer them But I know more than a dozen in our towne or citie whose paper and pen are eaten vp and yet attend but some compulsorie matter to make extracts and vidimus out of their Menippized Satyres much more bloudie then the first If you learne any thing thereof I pray you my good friend cause me to vnderstand the same You perceiue how to pleasure you I haue a little straied from our purpose and haue suffered my selfe to be transported to indignation and wrath which I haue conceiued against those people that yet build vpon the foundations of the first rebellion and who also threaten vs to play with sharpe and edged swords whereas heretofore they haue plaied but with rebated weapons And indeede I was not farre off from powring forth my choller vpon the Iesuites but because I vnderstand they are not like to continue long in this countrie and by that meanes the Spanyards shal haue no greater present taste for as a deputie of Bourgongne sayd well a Spaniard without a Iesuite is as a partrich without an orenge or some other sauce I am contented to say nothing But to returne to the point from which wee haue gone aside I pray you if you doe againe imprint the Satyre Menippized to blot out of it the names of them that are become the Kinges good seruantes and who also continue therein with some good resolution And albeit there are still some that yet shake in the haft and haue neede of a yeeres triall at the least before they may be trusted or haue their names rased out of the booke notwithstanding sith it belongeth not to you or to mee to iudge of them the best way will bee to take out of the booke all proper names and not to offend any one man of them that may hurt and bee in the midst of vs. And this is that that I meant to say vnto you for the last point And so you shall leaue mee if you list to my rest for it is nowe supper time And then I perceiued verie well that hee ment to giue mee leaue to depart and I prayed him that hee would pardon me because I had bin so tedious vnto him but I had taken so great pleasure to heare him that the time seemed vnto mee not to bee long Notwithstanding I besought him that before I did depart I might yet a little aduertise him that sundry men saide that the oration of the Lorde of Aubray was to too long and ouer serious in comparison of them that went before it which were all very short and full of fictions and that I for my part could not tell either what to answere or what reason the author had to leade him so to doe Whereunto hee aunswered and sayd neither doe I for my part vnderstand anie more thereof than you but that I suppose that my cousin ment to imitate therein the naturall disposition of the saide Lorde of Aubray who is fo aboundant and plentifull in reasons and can neuer finde an ende either of his knowledge or of his discourse and specially in such an action as wherein hee ought to make shew of all that hee knewe and that with a desire to perswade if hee could But in that he hath made him to speake so seriously it was to procure vnto him more dignitie and credite than to those other that went before him who all of them are ranke knaues to whome it had not bin seemely to haue made them speake any good thing and indeede there was none found but hee in whose mouth it was fitte to speake the truth and to set out things that might serue for the instruction and serious knowledge of matters alreadie past And this is all the craft that men ment thereby and the coine wherewith they should pay these delicate and fine eared men in whose power it is to pare and cut off from it or els to read no more but the fourth part or halfe of it as they themselues list if they thinke the whole too long But in this matter I referre my selfe to men of better iudgment whether there bee any thing in it that a man may take away and which is not verie fitly applyed to the purpose Notwithstanding it is permitted you to cut it or pare it as shall best like you I for my parte will not thinke the wine the worse therefore And so to conclude I pray you leaue me alone in peace to my selfe Hereupon I durst not further presse him though indeede I had verie great desire to knowe whether hee or the Lorde Agnoste had not done something touching the matter of the Iesuites but hee stopped my mouth and said vnto mee wee are accustomed according to the manner of our countrie to speake that that wee thinke I will therefore tell you that I suppose that wee haue discoursed enough at this time and I yet once againe pray you to leaue mee in peace or let mee bee alone which when he had spoken he called his seruant and said let one come and lay the cloth wherupon I was ashamed to tary any longer and came away instructed and furnished with these good answers which I thought good to communicate vnto you for the contentation and satisfying of them that are as my selfe curious to know the truth FINIS