of the softness of the said Doun and of the temperate heat of the Goose which is easily communicated to the Bumgut and the rest of the Intestines insofar as to come even to the Regions of the Heart and Brains And think not that the Felicity of the Heroes and Demigods in the Elysian Fields consisteth either in their Asphodele Ambrosia or Nectar as our old Women here use to say but in this according to my judgment that they wipe their Tails with the Neck of a Goose holding her Head betwixt their Legs and such is the Opinion of Master Iohn of Scotland CHAP. XIV How Gargantua was taught Latin by a Sophister THE good Man Grangousier having heard this discourse was ravish'd with Admiration considering the high reach and marvellous understanding of his Son Gargantua and said to his Governesses Philip King of Macedon knew the great Wit of his Son Alexander by his skilful managing of a Horse for his Horse Bucephalus was so fierce and unruly that none durst adventure to ride him after that he had given to his Riders such devillish falls breaking the Neck of this Man the other Man's Leg braining one and cracking another's Jaw-bone This by Alexander being considered one day in the Hippodrome which was a place appointed for the breaking and managing of great Horses he perceived that the fury of the Horse proceeded meerly from the fear he had of his own shadow whereupon getting on his back he run him against the Sun so that the shadow fell behind and by that means tamed the Horse and brought him to his hand Whereby his Father perceiving his marvellous Capacity and divine Insight caused him most carefully to be instructed by Aristotle who at that time was highly renowned above all the Philosophers of Greece After the same manner I tell you that by this only discourse which now I have here had before you with my Son Gargantua I know that his Understanding doth participate of some Divinity and that if he be well taught and have that Education which is fitting he will attain to a supream degree of Wisdom Therefore will I commit him to some learned Man to have him indoctrinated according to his Capacity and will spare no cost Presently they appointed him a great Sophister-Doctor called Master Tubal Holophernes who taught him his ABC so well that he could say it by heart backwards and about this he was Five Years and three Months Then read he to him Donat facet theodolet and Alanus in parabolis About this he was Thirteen Years six Months and two Weeks But you must remark that in the mean time he did learn to write in Gottish Characters and that he wrote all his Books for the Art of Printing was not then in use And did ordinarily carry a great Pen and Inkhorn weighing above Seven thousand Quintals the Pen-case vvhereof vvas as big and as long as the great Pillar of Enay and the Horn vvas hanged to it in great Iron Chains it being of the vvideness to hold a Tun of Merchand Ware After that vvas read unto him the Book de modis significandi with the Commentaries of Hurtbise of Fasquin of Tropifeu of Gaulhaut of Iohn Calf of Billonio of Berlinguandus and a rabble of others and herein he spent more then Eighteen Years and eleven Months and was so well versed therein that to try Masteries in School-disputes with his Condisciples he would recite it by heart backwards And did sometimes prove on his Fingers ends to his Mother Quod de modis significandi non erat scientia Then was read to him the Compost on which he spent Sixteen Years and two Months And at that very time which was in the Year 1420 his said Praeceptor died of the Pox. Afterwards he got an old coughing Fellow to teach him named Master Iobelin Bridé vvho read unto him Hugotio Flebard Grecism the Doctrinal the Pars the Quid est the Supplementum Marmoretus de moribus in mensa servandis Seneca de quatuor virtutibus cardinalibus Passaventus cum commento and Dormi securè for the Holy-days and other such llke stuff by reading vvhereof he became as vvise as any vve ever since baked in an Oven CHAP. XV. How Gargantua was put under other School-masters AT the last his Father perceived that indeed he studied hard and that although he spent all his time therein yet for all that did he profit nothing but vvhich is worse grew thereby a Fool a Sot a Doult and Block-head whereof making a heavy complaint to Don Philip of Marays Viceroy of Papeligosse he found that it were better for his Son to learn nothing at all then to be taught such like Books under such School-masters because their Knowledge was nothing but all Trifle and their Wisdom Foppery serving only to basterdize good and noble Spirits and to corrupt the Flower of Youth That it is so take said he any Young Boy of this time who hath only studied two Years if he have not a better Judgment a better Discourse and that expressed in better Terms then your Son with a compleater Carriage and Civility to all manner of persons account me for ever hereafter a very clounch and baconslicer of Brene This pleased Grangousier very well and he commanded that it should be done At night at supper the said Don Philip brought in a young Page of his of Ville-gouges called Eudemon so neat so trim so handsom in his Apparel so spruce with his Hair in so good Order and so sweet and comely in his behaviour that he had the resemblance of a little Angel more than of a human Creature Then he said to Grangousier Do you see this young Boy He is not as yet full twelve years old let us try if it like you what difference there is betwixt the knowledge of the Dunces Mateologian of old time and the young Lads that are now The Tryal pleased Grangousier and he commanded the Page to begin Then Eudemon asking leave of the Vice-Roy his Master so to do vvith his Cap in his hand a clear and open countenance beautiful and ruddy Lips his Eyes steady and his Looks fixed upon Gargantua with a youthful modesty standing up strait on his feet began to commend him first for his Vertue and good Manners secondly for his knowledg thirdly for his Nobility fourthly for his bodily accomplishments and in the fifth place most sweetly exhorted him to reverence his Father with all due observancy vvho was so careful to have him well brought up in the end he prayed him that he vvould vouchsafe to admit of him amongst the least of his Servants for other Favour at that time desired he none of Heaven but that he might do him some grateful and acceptable Service all this was by him delivered vvith such proper gestures such distinct Pronunciation so pleasant a Delivery in such exquisite fine Terms and so good Latin that he seemed rather a Gracchus a Cicero an Aemilius of the time past then a
the Ruins of Time in a Kingdom where 't is not easie to find many Books and Persons that can inform us of that Author I could get together what follows principally if we consider how little is to be found in the French late Editions of his Works FRANCIS RABELAIS was born about the Year 1483 at Chinon a very ancient little Town scituate near the Place where the River Vienne loses it self into the Loire in the Province of Touraine in France His Father Thomas Rabelais was an Apothecary of that Town and possessed an Estate called la Douïniere near which Place having first sent his Son Francis to be Educated by the Monks of the Abbey of Sevillé and finding that he did not improve he removed him to the Vniversity of Anger 's where he studied sometime at a Convent called la Baumette but without any considerable Success There he became acquainted with Messieurs Du Bellay one of whom was afterwards Cardinal And 't is said that Rabelais having committed some Misdemeanor was there very severely used A Famous Author writes That he was bred up in a Convent of Franciscan Friars in Poictou and was received into their Order Which Convent can be no other than that of Fontenay le Comte in the said Province where he proved a great Proficient in Learning in so much that of the Friars some envied him some through Ignorance thought him a Conjurer and in short all hated and misused him because he studied Greek the Beauties of which Tongue they could not relish its Novelty making them esteem it not only Barbarous but Antichristian This we partly observe by a Letter which Budaeus the most learned Man of his Age in that Tongue writ to a Friend of Rabelais wherein he highly Praises him particularly for his Excellent Knowledge in that Tongue and exclaims against the Stupidity and Ingratitude of those Friars Such a Misfortune befel Erasmus as also the Learned Rabanus Maurus Magnentius Abbot of Fulda and Aâ—chbishop of Ments For having Composed some Excellent Poems in Verse they only served to expose him to the Hatred of his Monks who accused him of applying himself too much to Spiritual Things and too little to the Encrease of the Temporal to the Loss as they thought of the Monastery So that abouâ— the Year 842 he was forced to retire near Lewis King of Germany his Protector where his Monks who had soon found their Error and their Loss in the Absence of so esteemable an Abbot came to beg his Pardon and prayed him to resume the Administration of the Abbey which however he resolutely declin'd Thus Rabelais hating the Ignorance and Baseness of the Cordeliers was desirous enough to leave them being but too much prompted to it by several Persons of Eminent Quality who were extreamly delighted with his Learning and facecious Conversation A Monk relates That he was put in Pace that is between four Walls with Bread and Water in the said Convent for some unlucky Action and was redeemed out of it by the Learned Andrew Tiraqueau then Lieutenant-General that is Chief Iudge of the Baylywick of Fontenay le Comâ—e and by Tradition 't is said in that Town That on a Day when the Country People used to resort to the Convent's Church to address their Prayers and pay their Offerings to the Image of St. Francis which stood in a Place somewhat dark near the Porch Rabelais to Ridicule their Superstition privately removed the Saint's Image and placed himself in its room having first disguised himself But at last too much pleased with the awkward Worship which was payed him he could not forbear Laughing and made some Motion which being observed by his gaping staring Worshippers they cryed out Miracle My good Lord St. Francis moves Vpon which an Old crafty Knave of a Friar who knew Stone and the Virtue of St. Francis too well to expect this should be true drawing near scar'd our Sham-Saint out of his Hole And having caused him to be seized the rest of the Fraternity with their knotty Cords on his bare Back soon made him know he was not made of Stone and wish he had been as hard as the Image or Senceless as was the Saint nay turned into the very Image of which he lately was the Representation At last by the Intercession of Friends of which Geoffroy d' Estissac Bishop of Maillezais is said to have been one be obtained Pope Clement VII's Permission to leave the beggarly Fellowship of St. Francis for the Wealthy and more easie Order of St. Bennet and was entertained in that Bishop's Chapter that is the Abbey of Maillezais But his Mercurial Temper prevailing after he had lived sometime there he also left it and laying down the regular Habit to take that which is worn by secular Priests he rambled up and down a while till at last he fixed at Montpellier took all his Degrees as a Physician in that Vniversity and practis'd Physic with Reputation And by his Epistle before the Translation of the Aphorisms of Hippocrates and some Works of Galen which he Published and Dedicated to the Bishop of Maillezais in 1532 he tells him that he publicly read Physic in that Vniversity to a Numerous Auditory 'T is vulgarly said that Rabelais having Published some Physical Tract which did not sell upon the disappointed Book-seller's Complaint to him told him that since the World did not know how to value a good Book they would undoubtedly like a bad one and that accordingly he would write something that would make him large amends upon which he Composed his Gargantua and Pantagruel by which the Book-seller got an Estate But either this is an Error or Rabelais must have been more imposed on them our Sir Walter Rauleigh was by his selfish Stationer since the above-mentioned Translation which was Printed by the Famous Gryphius of Lyons at first in 1532. was reprinted many times since particularly in 1543. of which Date I have an an Edition of it which was undoubtedly before Rabelais began to write his Gargantua and none ever mentioned any other Tract of Physic by him and also when he speaks of his Annotations on the Aphorisms of Hippocrates he says that Gryphius importuned him very much to consent that they might be printed We do not know how he came to leave Montpellier tho probably he was sent by its Vniversity to sollicit for them at Court and then was invited to stay at Paris of which John Du Bellay his Friend afterwards Cardinal was not only Bishop but Governour at least 't is certain he attended him in his Embassy to Pope Paul the III. though I believe that the chief occasion of his going to Rome was to put a stop to the Ecclesiastical Censures fulminated against hâ—â— for leaving his Convent and 't is thought the Bishop of Maillezais abetted that desertion and incouraged him in his Studies at Montpellier which perhaps made Rabelais afterwards dedicate to him and own then that he owed all things to him
of Verron which seems to be Bearn I might instance more of this but as I know how little we ought to rely upon likeness of Names to find out Places and Colonies I will only insist upon the word Vtopia which is the name of Grangousier's Kingdom and by which the Author means Navarre of which Gargantua was properly only Titular King the best part of that Kingdom with Pampelune its capital City being in the King of Spain's Hands So that State was as it were no more on Earth as to any benefit he enjoyed by it and 't is what the Word Vtopia from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 signifies viz. that is not found or a place not to be found We have therefore here four Actors in the Pantagruelian Fâ—rce three Kings of Navarre and the Bishop of Valence bred up and rais'd in that House we might add two Personâ— mutae Catherine de Foix Queen of Navarre matried to Iohn d' Albret and she therefore should be Gargamâ—llâ— as Margaret de Valois married to his Son Henry King of Navarre should be Badebec Picrochole is doubtless the King of Spain who depriv'd Iohn d' Albret of that part of Navarre which is on the side of the Pyreneâ—â— Mountains that is next to Spain This appears by the name of Picrochole and by the universal Monarchy of which he thought himself secure The word Picrochole is made up of two 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 bitter and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 choler bile or gaul to denote the Temper of that King who was nothing but Bitterness and Gaul This doubly fits Charles the Fifth first with Relation to Francis the First against whom â—he conceived an immortal hatred and to Henry d' Albret whose Kingdom he possess'd and whom he lull'd with the hopes of a Restitutition which he never design'd which was one of the chief Causes of the War that was kindled between that Emperor and Charles the Fifth which lasted during both their Reigns Besides Charles the Fifth was troubled from time to time with an overflowing of Bile so that finding himself decaying and not likely to live much longer after he had raised the siege of Mets as he had done that of Marseille before being commonly as unfortunate as his Generals were successful he shut himself up in a 〈◊〉 where that distemper was the chief Cause of his Death The hope of 〈◊〉 Monarchy with which that Emperor flatter'd himself was a Chimaera that possess'd his mind till he resign'd his Crown and which he seem'd to have assign'd with it to Philip the II his Son and Successors This Frenzy which in his Thirst of Empire possessed him wholly is very pleasantly ridicul'd by Rabelais The Duke of Small Thrash The Earl Swaâ—â—â—-Buckler and Captain 〈◊〉 make Picrochole in Rodomontados conquer Tall the Nations in the Universe I suppose that our Satyrist means by these three some Grandees of Spain for their King Picrochole bids them be cover'd After many imaginary Victories they speak of erecting two Pillars to perpetuate his Memory at the Streights of Gibraltar by which he ridicules Charles the V.'s Devise which was two Pillars with plus Vltra for the Moto Then they make him go to 〈◊〉 and Algier which Charles the V. did march to Rome and cause the Pope to dye for Fear whereat Picrochole is pleased because he will not then kiss his Pyantoufle and longs to be at Loretto Accordingly we know that in 1527 his Army had taken Rome by storm plundered it and its Churches ravished the Nuns if any would be ravished and having almost starved the Pope at last took him Prisoner which Actions of a Catholic Kings Army Sandoval a Spanish Author only terms opra non Santa Then Picrochole fancying himself Master already of so many Nations most royally gratifies those who so easily made him Conquer them to this he gives Caramania Suria to that and Palestine to the third till at last a wise old Officer speaks to him much as Cyneas did to Pyrrhuâ— and with as little Success as that Philosopher As it was not our Author's Design to to give us a regular History of all that happened in his Time he did not tye himself up to Chronology and sometimes joyned Events which have but little Relation to each other Many times also the Characters are double as perhaps is that of Picrochole In the Menagiana lately published which is a Collection of Sayings Reparties and Observations by the learned Menage every one of them attested by Men of Leaning and Credit we are told that Messieurs de Sainte Marthe have told him that the Picrochole of Rabelais was their Grand Father who was a Physician at Fronâ—evaut These Mâ—de St. Marthe are the worthy Sons of the famous Samarthanus who gave so high a Character of Rabelais among the most celebrated Men of France and who themselves have honour'd his Letters with large Notes and shew'd all the Marks of the greatest respect for his Memory so that I am apt to believe that they would not fix such a Character on their Grand-father had there not been some Grounds for it Much less would they have said this to Monsieur Menage who doubtless understood Rabelais very well since I find by the Catalogue of his Works in Manuscript that he has written a Book of Observations on Rabelais which I wish were Printed for they must doubtless be very curious no less ought to be expected from that learned Author of the Origines de la Languo Francoise and of the Origini della Lingua Italiana as also of the curious Observations on the Aminta of Tasso not to speak of his Diogenes Laertius and many others As he was most skill'd in Etymologies and a Man of the greatest Reading and Memory in France he had doubâ—less made too many discoveries in our Author to have believ'd what Messieurs Sainte Marthe said to him were there not some Grounds for it We may then suppose that Rabelais had the wit so to describe pleasant incidents that past among Men of Learning or his Neighbours in and near Chinon as that at the same time some great Actiâ—â— in Church or State should be represented or satiriz'd just as Monsieur De Benserade in his Verses for the solemn Masks at the French Court has made his King representing Iupiter say what equally might be said of that Heathen God or of that Monarch Thus the Astrea of the Lord D'urfe which has charm'd all the ingenious of both Sexes and is still the admiration of the most knowing meerly as a Romance has been discover'd long ago by some few to have throughout it a foundation of Truth But as it only contains the private Amours of some Persons of the first quality in that Kingdom and even those of its noble Author he had so disguis'd the Truths which he describes that few had the double pleasure of seeing them reconcil'd to the ouâ—ward Fictions till among the Works of the greatest Orator
Indulgences the taking away the Cup in the Eucharist and Transubstantiation but that Marguerite the Wife of K. Henry d' Albret and Sister to Francis the first own'd her self to be one of the new Opinion and as powerfully defended its Professors as she could Any one may see by the two Chapters of Gargantua's Education by Ponocrates that the Author treats of a Protestant Prince and of Gargantua's being brought to a reform'd state of Life for he says that when Ponocrates knew Gargantua 's vicious manner of living he resolv'd to bring him up in a much different way and requested a learned Physitian of that Time call'd Master Theodorus seriously to perpend how to bring him to a better course he says that the said Physitian purg'd him canonically with Anticyrian Hellebore by which Medicine he clear'd all that foulness and perverse habit of his Brain and by this means Ponocrates made him forget all that he had learn'd under his ancient Preceptors Theodorus is a very proper Name for a Divine signifying Gift of God from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and that great Master of Thought Father Malebranche gives it to the Divine who is one of the Interlocutors in the admirable Metaphysical Dialogues which he calls Conversations Chrestiennes so that as Rabelais tells us Theodorus was a Physitian for the mind that is one of the new Preachers and perhaps Berthaud that of Queen Marguerite By the Anticyrian Hellebore with which he purged Gargantua's Brain may be meant powerful Arguments drawn from Reason and the Scripture oppos'd to the Authority of the Popish Church after this Purge we find Gargantua awak'd at four in the Morning and while they were rubbing him some Chapter of the holy Scripture aloud and clearly with a Pronunciation fit for the matter read to him and according to the purpose and argument of that Lesson oftentimes giving himself to Worship Adore Pray and send up his Supplications to that good God whose Word did shew his Majesty and marvellous Iudgment That Chapter and the next are admirable as well as many more nor can we ever have a more perfect Idea of the Education of a Prince than is that of his Gargantua whom he represents all along as a Man of great Honour Sense Courage and Piety whereas under his other Masters in the Chapters before we find him idle and playing at all sorts of Games Nothing can better demonstrate the great Genius and Prudence of our Author who could submit to get together so many odd Names of trifling things to keep himself out of Danger and grace the Counterpart which is so judicious and so grave he had told us first that Gargantua under his former Pedagogues after a good Breakfast went to Church a huge greasie Breviary being carryed before him in a great Basket that there he heard 26 or 30 Masses that this while came his Martin Mumbler Chaplain muffled about the Chin that is with his Cow round as a Hoop and his Breath pretty well antidoted with the Vine-Tree-Syrop that with him he mumbled all his Kyriels and as he went from the Church santring along through the Cloysters ridled more of St. Claude's Patinotres then sixteen Hermits could have done So that there we find him a Papist and in the following Chapter as I have said a Protestant Without doubt the Sophisters under whom Gargantua did not improve were some noted Men in his Age I have not yet discovered who they were As for Don Philip of Marais Viceroy of Papeligosse who advises Grangousier to put his Son under another Discipline he may perhaps be Philip Son to the Marschall of Navarre the Title of Don being taken by the Navarrois and Marais seems Marechall Gargantua is sent with Ponocrates to Paris by his Father that they might know says he what was the study of the young Men in France this shows that Gangousier was not King of it and that Gargantua was a Stranger there Many who take him to be Francis the First think that his huge great Mare is Madam d'Estampes that King's Mistress and explain that Mare 's skirmishing with her Tail whereby she overthrew all the Wood in the Country of Beauce by a Gift which they say he made her of some of its Forests They say also That the King was desirous to buy her a Necklace of Pearls and that partly on that account he would have got some Money of the Citizens of Paris but they being unwilling to comply with his demand the King and his Mistress threatned to sell the Bells of our Lady's Church the Cathedral to buy his Lady a Necklace And that this has given occasion to say That Gargantua design'd to hang those Bells at his Mare 's Neck Though as I have said Gargantua be not Francis the First I might believe that Rabelais had a mind to make us merry with the recital of such an Adventure were it not certain that the said King has read his Book and would hardly have liked such a Passage had he been himself an Actor there but besides History relates nothing of this Nature of him nor has the Story of the Bells the resemblance of Truth As for the blow with the Mare 's Tail it might as well belong to Henry d' Albret who has not been without a Mistress Had I been able to get some certain Books and had the Bookseller not been impatient by reason of the Term I would have done my Endeavours to unriddle that Enigma but having hardly a Fortnights time to make my Observations and finish the Author's Life and this Preface I must put off that Inquiry till some other Opportunity and then what further Discoveries I may make may be published with those on the fourth and fifth Books which contain Pantagruel's Voyage to the holy Bottle as beautiful at least as these three I will however offer here a Conjecture on that story of the Bells we find in the 17 18 and 19th Chapters of the first Book that Master Ianotus de Bragmardo a Sophister is sent to Gargantua to recover the Bells and makes a wretched Speech to him about it I am sensible that 't was partly his Design to ridicule the Universities which at that time deserv'd no better in France But in particular I believe that he aim'd at Cenalis a Doctor of Sorbonne and afterwards Bishop of Auranches for I find that this Prelate had writ a Treatise wonderfully pleasant concerning the Signs whereby the true Church may be distinguish'd from the false in it he waves the preaching of the Gospel and Administration of the Sacraments and pretends to prove that Bells are the signs which essentially distinguish the Church of Rome from the Reform'd who at that time had none and us'd to assemble privately at the letting off of a Musquet in the High Street which was a sign by which they knew that it was time to meet to perform Divine Service Cenalis on this triumphs as if he had gain'd his Point
and runs on in a long Antithesis to prove that Bells are the signs of the true Church and Guns the mark of the bad all Bells says he sound but all Guns thunder all Bells have a melodious Sound all Guns make a dreadful Noise Bells open Heaven Guns open Hell Bells drive away Clouds and Thunder Guns raise Clouds and mock the Thunder He has a great deal more such Stuff to prove that the Church of Rome is the true Church because forsooth it has Bells which the other had not The taking away the Bells of a Place implys its Conquest and even Towns that have Articled are oblig'd to redeem their Bells perhaps the taking away the great Bells at Paris was the taking away the Privileges of its University or some other for Paris may only be nam'd for a Blind Thus the Master Beggar of the Fryars of St. Anthony coming for some Hog's Purtenance St. Anthony's Hog is always pictur'd with a Bell at its Neck who to be heard afar off and to make the Beacon shake in the very Chimneys had a mind to filch and carry those Bells away privily but was hindered by their weight that Master Beggar I say must be the head of some Monks perhaps of that Order in the Fauxbourg St. Antoine who would have been substituted to those that had been deprived and the Petition of Master Ianotus is the pardon which the University begs perhaps for some affront resented by the Prince for those that escap'd the Flood cry'd we are wash'd Par ris that is for having laugh'd Rabelais en passant there severely inveighs against the grumblers and factious Spirits at Paris Which makes me think that whether the Scene lies there or elsewhere as in Gascoigny some people of which Country were Henry d' Albret's Subjects still this was a remarkable Event In the Prologue to the fourth Book Iupiter busied about the Affairs of Mankind crys Here are the Gascons Cursing Damning and Renouncing demanding the re-establishment of their Bells I suppose that more is meant than Bells or he would not have us'd the word Re-establishment But 't is time to speak of the great strife and debate raised betwixt the Cake-bakers of Lerné and those of Gargantua 's Country whereupon were wag'd great Wars We may easily apply many things concerning these Wars to those of Navarre between the House of d'Albret and King Ferdinand and Charles the fifth Thus Les Truans or as this Translation renders it the Inhabitants of Lerné who by the command of Picrochole their King invaded and plunder'd Vtopia Gargantua's Country are the Spanish Soldiers and Lerné is Spain The word Truand in old French signifies an idle lazy Fellow which hits pretty well the Spaniards Character the Author having made choice of that name of a place near Chinon because it alludes to the Lake Lerna where Hercules destroyed the Lernaean Hydra which did so much hurt in the Country of Argos that thence came the Proverb 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Malorum Lerna Thus Spain was a Lerna of Ills to all Europe while like France now it aspir'd to universal Monarchy but it was so more particularly to Navarre in Iuly 1512 when King Iohn d' Albret and Queen Catharine de Foix the lawful Sovereign were dispossess'd by Ferdinand King of Arragon almost without any resistance The said King Iohn desirous of Peace sent Don Alphonso Carillo Constable of Navarre in the quality of his Embassador to Ferdinand to prevent the approaching mischief but he was so ill receiv'd says the History of Navarre Dedicated to King Henry IV. and printed with his Privilege that he was glad to return to his King with speed and related to him that there was no hope left to persuade the King of Arragon to a Peace and that Lewis de Beaumont Earl of Lerins who had forsaken Navarre daily incourag'd Ferdinand to attack that Kingdom So that this Embassie resembles much that of Vlric Gallet to Picrochole who swears by St. Iames the Saint of the Spaniards In November 1512. Francis Duke of Angoulesme afterwards King was sent with King Iohn d' Albret by Lewis XII to recover Navarre having with him several of the greatest Lords in France and a great Army which possess'd it self of many Places but the rigour of the Season oblig'd them to raise the Siege of Pampelune And in 1521. another Army under the Command of Andrew de Foix Lord of Asperault enter'd Navarre and wholly regain'd it but it was lost again soon after by the imprudence of that General and the Avarice of St. Colombe one of his chief Officers Those that will narrowly examin History will find that many particulars of the Wars in the first Book of Rabelais may be reconcil'd to those of Navarre but I believe that he means something more than a Description of the Fights among the Soldiers by the debate rais'd betwixt the Cake-sellers or Fouassiers of Lerné and the Shepherds of Gargantua Those Shepherds or Pastors should be the Lutheran and Calvinist Ministers whom Iohn and Henry d' Albert favour'd being the more dispos'd to adhere to the reviving Gospel which they preach'd by the provoking Remembrance of the Pope's and King of Spain's injurious usage and for that Reason Queen Margarite did not only profess the Protestant Religion but after the Death of Henry d' Albert Queen Iane their Daughter Married to Anthony de Bourbon was a Zealous Defender of it till she dy'd and her Son Henry afterwards rais'd to the Throne of France publickly own'd himself a Protestant till his impatient desire of being peaceably seated on it made him leave the better Party to pacifie the worse The Cake sellers of Lerné are the Priests and other Ecclesiastics of Spain as also all the Missificators of the Church of Rome Rabelais calls them Cake-mongers or Fouassiers by reason of the Host or Sacramental Wafer which is made of Dough between a pair of Irons like the Cakes or Fouasses in Poitou where Rabelais liv'd and is said to be transubstantiated into the Corpus-Christi when consecrated by the Priest The Subject of the Debate as Rabelais terms it between those Cake-sellers and the Shepherds is the first 's refusal to supply the latter with Cakes to eat with the Grapes which they watch'd For as Rabelais observes 'T is a Celestial Food to eat for Break-fast fresh Cakes with Grapes by which he alludes to the way of receiving the Communion among the Protestants who generally take that Celestial Food fasting and always with the juice of the Grape that is with Wine according to the Evangelical Institution Now the Cake-mongers or Popish Priests would not consent to give Cakes that is to say Bread but would only give the accidents of the Cakes or to speak in their own Phrase the accidents of the Bread and it is well known that this was the chief occasion of our separation from the Church of Rome Upon the reasonable request of the Shepherds the Cake-sellers instead of granting
was not King of France when speaking of some superstitious Preachers one of whom had called him Heretic he adds I wonder that your King should suffer them in their Sermons to publish such Scandalous Doctrin in his Dominions Then Fryar-Ihon says to the Pilgrims that while they thus are upon their Pilgrimage the Monks will have a Fling at their Wives After that Grangousier bids them not be so ready to undertake those idle and unprofitable journyes but go home and live as St. Paul directs them and then God will guard them from Evils which they think to avoid by Pilgrimages What has been observed puts it beyond all doubt that our jesting Author was indeed in Earnest when he said that he mystically treated of the most high Sacraments and dreadful secrets in what concerns our Religion I know that immediately after this he passes off with a Banter what he had assur'd very seriously but this was an admirable peice of Prudence and who ever will narrowly examin his writings will find that this Vertue is inseparably joyned with his wit so that his Enemies never could have any advantage over him But not to comment upon several other Places in his first Book that the ingenious may have the pleasure of unriddling the rest of it themselves I will only add that his manner of ending it is a Master peice surpassing the artful evasion which as I have now observed is in its Introduction It is an Enigma as indeed is the whole Work I could only have wished that it had been proper to have put it into a more modish Dress for then doubtless it would have more generally have pleased But I suppose that the Gentleman who revised this Translation thought it not fit to give the Graces of our Modern Enigmas to the Translation of a prophetical Riddle in the style of Merlin Gargantua piously fetches a very deep sigh when he has heard it read and says that he perceives by it that it is not now only that People called to the Faith of the Gospel are persecuted but happy is the Man that shall not be scandalized but shall always continue to the end in aiming at the Mark which God by his dear Son has set before us c. Upon this the Monk asks him what he thought was signified by the Riddle What says Gargantua the Decrease and Propagation of the Divine Truth That is not my Exposition says the Monk it is the style of the Prophet Merlin make as many grave Allegories and Tropes as you will I can conceive no other meaning in it but a description of a Set at Tennis in dark and obscure Terms By this Riddle which he expounds he cunningly seems to insinuate that all the rest of his Book which he has not explained wholly consists of trifles and what is most remarkable is that he illustrates the Truths which he had concealed by the very Passage wherewith he pretends to make them pass for Fables and thus blinds with too much light those Enemies of Truth who would not have failed to have burned him alive in that persecuting Age had he had less Wit and Prudence than they shewed Ignorance and Malice I need not enlarge much on the other Books by reason of the Discoveries made in the first that relate to them The first Chapter of the second gives us Pantagruel's Pedigree from the Giants It has been observed by a Learned Man some Years ago that the word Giant which the Interpreters of the Scripture have set in their Versions stands there for another that means no more then Prince in the Hebrew so perhaps our Author was the more ready to make his Princes Giants tho as I have said his chief design was tacitly to censure in this Iohn d' Albret and such others as like one in Britany that took for his Motto Antequam Abraham esset sum were too proud of an uncertain empty Name His description of the Original of Giants and the story of Hurtali's bestriding the Ark is to mock those in the Thalmud and other Legends of the Rabbins for he tells us that when this happened the Calends were found in the Greek Almanacs and all know that ad Graecas Calendas is as much as to say Never for the Greeks never reckoned by Calends Yet what he tells us of the Earth's Fertility in Medlars after it had been embrued with the Blood of the Just may be Allegorical And those who by feeding on that fair large delicious Fruit became Monstrous may be the converts of that Age who by the Popish World were looked upon as Monsters The Blood of Martyrs which was profusedly spilt in that Age has always been thought Prolific even to a Proverb and the word Mesles in French and Medlars in English equally import Medling thus in French Il se Mesle de nos affaires he medles with our Business so the Medlars may be those who busied themselves most about the Reformation The Great Drought at the Birth of Pantagruel is that almost universal cry of the Layty for the Restitution of the Cup in the Sacrament at the time that Anthony de Bourbon Duke of Vandosme was married to the Heiress of Navarre which was in Octob. 1548 the Council of Trent then sitting For thence we must date his Birth since by that match he afterwards gain'd the Title of King besides Bearn Bigorre Albret and several other Territories and we are told Book 3. Chap. 48. that Pantagruel at the very first Minute of his Birth was no less tall than the Herb Pantagruelion which unquestionably is Hemp and a little before that 't is said that its height is commonly of five or six foot The Death of Queen Margarite his Mother in Law that soon follow'd made our Author say that when Pantagruel was born Gargantua was much perplexed seeing his Wife Dead at which he made many Lamentations Perhaps this also alludes to the Birth of King Edward the Sixth which caus'd the Death of his Mother Queen Iane Seymour King Henry the Eighth is said to have comforted himself with saying that he could get another Wife but was not sure to get another Son Thus here we find Gargantua much griev'd and joyful by fits like Talboy in the Play but at last comforting himself with the thoughts of his Wife's Happiness and his own in having a Son and saying that he must now cast about how to get another Wife and will stay at home and rock his Son In the sixth Chapter we find Pantagruel discoursing with a Limosin who affected to speak in learned Phrase Rabelais had in the foregoing Chapter satiris'd many Persons and given a hint of some abuses in the Universities of France in this he mocks some of the Writers of that Age who to appear learned wholly fill'd their Works with Latin Words to which they gave a French Inflection But this Pedantic Iargon was more particularly affected by one Helisaine of Limoges who as Boileau says of Ronsard en Francois parlant
c. All their Beauty if they can be said to have any consists in their Rich or rather punning Rhimes and truly that Epigram is unworthy of Marot T is probable that as Cretin was then old he was respected by the young Fry who yet outliv'd their Error for never did Man sooner lose after his Death the Fame which he had gained during his Life And the Reason which caused Marot to write to him in such equivocal Rhimes was doubtless because Cretin affected much that way of Writing Here are four of Cretin's Lines which in his Book are follow'd by 122 more such Par ces vins verds Atropos a trop os Des corps humains ruez envers en vers Dont un quidam aspre aux pots apropos A fort blasmé ses tours pervers par vers c. I never saw more Rhime with so little sence For this Reason Rabelais who as Pasquier says had more Iudgment and Learning than all those that wrote French in his time has exposed that riming old Man And to leave us no room to doubt of it the Rondeau which Raminagrobis gives to Panurge upon his irresolution as to his marriage Prenez la ne la prenez pas c. that is Take or not take her off or on c. is taken out of Cretin who had addrest it to Guillaume de Refuge who had ask'd his advice being in the same perplexity However Rabelais makes him dye like a good Protestant and afterwards turns off cunningly what the other had said against the Popish Clergy who would not let him dye in Peace and to shew more plainly that this is said of Cretin Rabelais says at the beginning of the four and twentieth Chapter Laissans là Villaumere that is having left Villaumere which relates to William that Poet's name I ought not to omit a Remark printed in the last Dutch Edition of this Book concerning what Panurge says of Cretin He is by the Vertue of an Ox an arrant Heretic a thorough-pac'd rivitted Heretick I say a rooted Combustible Heretick one as fit to burn as the little wooden Clock at Rochel his Soul goeth to thirty thousand Cart-full of Devils Rabelais there reflects on the Sentence of Death passed on one of the First that owned himself a Protestant at Rochell He was a Watch-maker and had made a Clock all of Wood which was esteemed an admirable Piece but because it was the Work of one condemn'd for Heresy the Judges order'd by the said sentence that the Clock should be burned by the common hangman and it was burned accordingly we must also observe that the adjective Clavelé that is full of Nails or Rivitted is brought in because that Watch-maker who was very famous for his Zeal was named Clavelé In the 24th Chapter Panurge consults Epistemon who perhaps may be Guillaume Ruffy Bishop of Oleron one of Queen Margarite's Ministers who had been sometime in Prison for preaching the Reformation and was afterwards made Bishop in the King of Navarre's Territories having without doubt dissembled like many others Thus his descent into Hell in the second Book may be his Prison I own that he is with Pantagruel in the Wars but so is Panurge and this is done to disguise the Characters I am the more apt to believe him a Clergy Man because he understands Hebrew very well which few among the Layty do and none else in our Author besides Panurge who calls him his dear Gossip then his Name denotes him to be a thinking considering Man and as he was Pantagruel's Pedagogue so probably Ruffy initiated or instructed the Duke in the Doctrine of the new Preachers Enguerrant whom Rabelais taxes with making a tedious and impertinent Digression about a Spaniard is Enguerrant de Monstrelet who wrote La Chronique Annales de France In the same Chapter he speaks of the four Ogygian Islands near the Haven of Sammalo by this he seems to mean Iersey Gernsey Sark and Alderney As Queen Margaret liv'd a while and dy'd in Britanny our Actors may be thought sometimes to stroul thither Calypso was said to live at the Island Ogygia Lucian amongst the rest places her there and Plutarch mentions it in the Book of the Face that appears in the Circle of the Moon Her-Trippa is undoubtedly Henricus Cornelius Agrippa burlesqued Her is Henricus or Herricus or perhaps alludes to Heer because he was a German and Agrippa is turn'd into Trippa to play upon the word Tripe But for a farther Proof we need but look into Agrippa's Book de Occult. Philosoph Lib. 1. Cap. 7. de quatuor elementorum Divinationibus and we shall find the very words us'd by Rabelais of Pyromancy Aeromancy Hydromancy c. Besides Agrippa came to Francis the First whom our Author calls the great King to distinguish him from that of Navarre Fryar Iohn des Entosmures or of the Funnels as he is called in this Translation advises Panurge to marry and whether by that brave Monk we understand Cardinal Chastillon or Martin Luther the Character is kept since both were Married neither was the latter wholly free from Fryar Iohn's swearing Faculty if it be true that being once reproved about it he replyed condonate mihi hoc qui fui monachus Entomeures has doubtless been mistaken for Entonnoir a Funnel but the true Etymology is from 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to cut and make incisions which was our Monk's delight who is described as a mighty Trencher-man In the following Chapters a Theologian Physitian Lawyer and Philosopher are consulted Hippothadeus the Theologian may perhaps be Philip Shwartzerd alias Melancthon for he speaks too much like a Protestant to be the King's Confessor neither could Montluc be supposed to desire his Advice Rondibilis the Physitian is doubtless Gulielmus Rondeletius Thuanus remarks in the thirty eighth Book of his History that Will. Rondelet of Montpellier died 1566 and that though he was a learned Physitian Rabelais had satiris'd him he adds that indeed the Works of Rondelet do not answer the Expectation which the World had of him nor the Reputation which he had gain'd and his Treatise of Fishes which is the best that bears his Name was chiefly the Work of Will. Pelissier Bishop of Montpelier who was cast into Prison for being a Protestant However Rabelais makes him display much Learning in his Discourse to Panurge I am not so certain of the Man whom Trouillogan personates he calls him an Ephectic and Pyrrhonian Philosopher I find that Petrus Ramus or De la Ramée afterwards Massacred at Paris had written a Book against Aristotle and we have also his Logic but as he is mentioned by Iupiter in the Prologue to the fourth Book by the name of Rameau where his dispute with Petrus Galandius and his being nam'd Peter are also mentioned I am in doubt about it Moliere has imitated the Scene between Trouillogan and Panurge in one of his Plays and Mr. Dela Fontaine the story of Hans Carvell and that of the
Sat 1. The same in another place reflecting on the deprav'd manners of his Age crys Difficile est Satyram non scribere By which he sufficiently shows what was the Object and Design of those sorts of Poems Now Rabelais chiefly pursues his Subject by jesting and exposing ridiculing and despising what he thinks deserves such an usage and 't is but seldom that he makes use of railing or sullen biting Reproofs Yet as he has done it in some places we may well say that his Work hath something of the Roman Satyr In short 't is a mixture or if I may use the Expression an Ollio of all the Merry Serious Satyrical and diverting ways of Writing that have hitherto been us'd But still Mirth is predominant in the Composition and like a pleasing Tartness gives the whole such a relish that we ever feed on it with an eager Appetite and can never be cloy'd with it 'T is Farce as our Laureat in his late curious Preface concerning that way of Writing judiciously observes of some of Ben Iohnson's but such Farce as bequeaths that Blessing pronounc'd by Horace on him that shall attempt the like sudet multum frustraque laboret Ausus idem For as 't is there observ'd the Business of Farce extends beyond Nature and Probability But then there are so few improbabilities that will appear pleasant in the Representation that it will strain the best Invention to find them out and require the nicest Judgment to manage them when they are conceiv'd Extravagant and monstruous Fancies are but sick Dreams that rather torment than divert the Mind but when Extravagancy and Improbability happen to please at all they do it to purpose because they strike our Thought with greatest Surprize Pasquier the most judicious Critick that France had in his Time was very apprehensive of this and illustrates it with two Examples that concern too much our Author and the Point in Question not to be inserted here 'T is in one of his Letters to the Poet Ronsard Il n'y a celâ—y de nous qui ne scache combien le dâ—cte Rabelais en folastrant sagement sur son Gargantua et Pantagruel gaigna de grace parmy le peuple Il se trouua peu apres deux Singes qui se persuaderent d' en pouuoir faire tout autant l' un souâ—s le nom de Leon l' Adulfy en ses propos rustiques L'autre sans nom en son Livre des Fanfreluches Mais autant y profita l'un que l'autre s' estant la memoire de ces deux Livres perdue That is All know to what degree the learned Rabelais gain'd the Esteem of the Nation by his wise Drolling on his Gargantua and Pantagruel soon after started up a couple of Apes who conceived that they could do as much viz. Leon l' Adulfy in his Propos Rustiques and the Anonymous Author of Fanfreluches But as ill did the one succeed as the other the Memory of those two Books being lost This Work of Rabelais is doubtless an Original by imitating and joyning in one so many others To imitate it is not only periculosae plenuâ— opus aleae but almost an impossible task nor is it easily to be defin'd We see that it is Historical Romantic Allegorical Comical Satirical But as sometimes all these kinds of Writing are united in one Passage aâ— others they appear severally I might say that it is partly Dramatic For there appears in it a great deal of Action The Dialogues of which it is full are as many lively Scenes Europe is the Stage and all Mankind is the Subject The Author with his Witty Drolling Prologues comes in between every act as the Silenâ— and the Satyri did in the Greek Satyric Plays Or if you had rather have it so he supplys the place of the Chorus in some of the Old Comedies The five Books answer exactly the five Acts and it might perhaps as easily be made appear by a D' acier that he has manag'd his Drama regularly as by a Bossu that the Father of Epic Poetry has observed a Just Conduct in his Iliads It has the Form of an History or rather of Romances which it tacitly ridicules I mean such of them as those Ages produced which preceded the Restoration of Learning that chiefly happened when our Author lived your Amadis de Gaule Lancelot du Lac Tristan Kyrie Eleison of Montauban c. For then Kyrie Eleison and Deuteronomy were taken for the names of Saints somewhat like the Epitomizers of Gesner's Bibliotheque who have ascribed Amadis to one Acuerdo Olvido not knowing that these two Words which they found on the Title page of the French version of that Book were the Translators Spanish Motto that signifies Remembrance Oblivion Our Author seems to have mimick'd those Books even in their Titles in their Division into Chapters and in the odd Accounts of their Contents I am much mistaken if in many places he has not also affected their Style tho in others he displays all the Purity and Elegancy which the French-Tongue which he has much improved had at that Time As for the mixture of odd Burlesque Barbarous Latin Greek and obsolete Words which is seen in his Book 't is justifiable as it serves to add to the Diversion of the Reader pleased generally the more the greater is the Variety principally in so odd a Work About Twenty Years before it was composed Theophilus Folengi a Monk born at Mantua of a Noble Family who is hardly known now otherwise than by the name of Merlinus Coccaius had put out his Liber Macaronicorum which is a Poetical Rhapsody made up of Words of different Languages and treating of pleasant Matters in a Comical Style The word Macarone in Italian signifies a Jolly Clown and Macaroni a sort of Cakes made with course Meal Eggs and Cheese as Thomasin observes He published also another Work which he called Il libro della Gatta in the same Style and another only Macaronic in part called Chaos del tri per uno A learned Critic has esteemed that sort of Writing to be a third kind of Burlesque Nor was Folengi only followed by his Country-men as Gaurinus Capella in his Macarone de Rimini against Cabri Ré de Gogue magogue in 1526 and Caesar Vrsinus who calls himself Stopinus in his Capriccia Macaronica 1536 For the learned William Drummond Author of the History of Scotland and of some divine Poems has left us an ingenious Macaronie Poem called Polemo-Middinia printed at the Theatre at Oxford 1691. Rabelais has imitated and improved some fine Passages of that of Coccaius as well as his Style Though Mr. Baillet in his Iugement des Scavans thinks that it would be an impossible Task to preserve its Beauties in a Translation The Italians affect those mixt sorts of Languages in their Burlesque Poetry They have one sort which they call Pedantesca from the Name of the Persons of whom it most treats
1536 the Cardinal of Trent who was a German came thither to press the Pope to a Council and in our Author's presence said to Cardinal Du Bellay that the Pope refused to grant a Council but that he would repent it for the Christian Princes would take away what they had given to the Church The universal Cry was for the Restitution of the Câ—p to the Layety and of Marriage to the Clergy against Indulgences Pardons c. This caused Rabelais to put out these Pithagorical Symhols as he calls them That while some of the great ones privately and the Protestants publickly were indeavouring a thorough-Reformation he might insinuate a Contempt of the Church of Rome's Fopperies châ—efly in the Clergy of France and those that were at the Council of Trent as also in such of the Layety as had wit enough to find out his meaning And this is what he means in the Prologue to his 3. Book by the comical Account which he gives of Diogenes who seeing the Inhabitants of Corinth all very busy in their preparations for the War and himself not invited to help them roul'd and tossed about his Tub that he might not be said to be Idle For says Rabelais I held it not a little disgraceful to be only an Idle Spectator of so many valorous eloquent and warlike Persons who in the View and Sight of all Europe act this Notable Interlude or Tragicomedy By the word Eloquent we may easily Judge that this notable Interlude is the Council then sitting He knew that in 1534 Calvin having dedicated his Institution to Francis the I. the Bigots about him cunningly perswaded that King not to read that excellent Work nor its incomparable Preface tho he was otherwise not very religious having made a League with the Turks and joyned his Fleet to that of Barbarossa as also charg'd his Children in 1535 on pain of incurring his Curse to revenge his wrongs on Charles the V. whom he used to call Satan's eldest Son So partly that his Book might not have the same fate he made it mysterious and indeed that King had it read to him inspight of those who told him it was heretical But he was so imbroyl'd in Wars that perhaps he dar'd not favour the Reform'd for fear of being served by the Pope like the King of Navarre However even his Mother Loyse de Savoye what Divotion soever she shew'd to Popish Fopperies seems to have had but little Respect for them For in her Journal writ with her own hand and kept still in the Chambredes Comptes at Paris are found these words concerning St. Francis de Paule Frere Francois de Paule fuâ—parmoy canonisé a tout le moins jenpayay la Taxe that is Fryar-John de Paule was sainted by me at least I paid the Fees For making him a Saint Yet our Author wrote not so darkly but that the Ingenious of that Age could know his meaning for the very antidoted Conundrums which are the 2. Chapter of his first Book show that he treated of Religion as he had said in the Prologue before it The first Stanza may perhaps be only designed to make the rest pass for a Banter but the second mentions the Pope and Calvin plainly the first whose Slipper 't is more meritorious to kiss than to gain Pardons and the other from the depth issued were they fish for Roaches that is the Lake at Geneva who said Sirs for God's sake let us forbear doing this in the French Qui dit Messieurs pour Dieu nous en gardons I have not the leasure to examin now the other Stanzaes though I can explain some of them But to show that Rabelais was understood when he writ we need but read the Verses printed in the French before his second Book they are by Hugues Salel a Man of great Wit and Learning who as I have said had translated Homer's Iliads In them he encourages the Author to write on and tells him that under a pleasing Foundation he had so well describ'd useful Matters that if he was not rewarded here below he should be rewarded in Heaven Gross Superstition proceeds from Ignorance so next to the First he exposes the Latter but I need not come to particulars I may say that he has satirised all sorts of Vice and consequently all sorts of Men we find them all promiscuously on his Scene as in Bay's grand Dance in the Rehearsal Kings Cardinals Ladies Aldermen Soldiers c. He saw that Vice was not to be conquer'd in a Declamatory War and that the angry railing Lectures of some well-meaning Men were seldom as effectual to make it give Ground as the gay yet pointed Ralleries of those who seem unconcern'd the latter convincing us effectually while the others with their passionate Invectives perswade â—s of nothing but that they are too angry to direct others This gay way of moralizing has also nothing of the dry mortifying method of those Philosophers who striving to demonstrate their Principles by Causes and a long Series of Arguments only rack the mind but its Art and delicacy is not perceived by every Reader Consequently many People will not easily find out the inward Beauties of the Works of Rabelais But he did not intend that every one should perceive them tho every one may be extreamly diverted by the outward and obvious Wit and Humour We may say of those hidden graces what a Learned Man says of those in Horace's Satires Quae cum animae plebeiae percurrunt nec venustatem vident nec necessitatem argumenti intelligunt Eruditi praeter incredibilem leporem ad principium quo nititur recurrunt The figure Oximorum by which things at first appear foolish tho they are sharp and witty is such a Master pice in Rhetoric as can be perceived by none but the Skillfull Painting has its Grotesque and bold Touches which seem irregular to the Vulgar only pleased with their odness while Masters thro the antic Features and rough Strokes discover an exact Proportion a Softness and a Boldness together which charm them to an unspeakable degree So in artful Jests and Ironies in that lusus animi and judicious extravagance what seems mean and absurd is most in sight and strikes the Vulgar but better Judgments under that course outside discover exquisite Wit just and sublime Thoughts vast Learning and the most profound Reasonings of Philosophy Our Author's first Prologue has lead me to this Observation by that which he makes concerning Socrates Sorbiere who was a Man not much given to praise the Living and much less the Dead applys this to Rabelais owning that his Satire is the most learned and universal that ever was writ and that it also so powerfully inclines our Minds to Mirth that almost all those whom he had known that had been much conversant with it had gain'd by it's means a Method of thinking agreably on the most profound and melancholic Matters Thus it teaches us to bear Adversities gallantly and to make
was eating and drinking And indeed that is the fitâ—est and most proper hour wherein to write these high Matters and deep Sciences as Homer knew very well the Paragon of all Philologues and Ennius the Father of the Latin Poets as Horace calls him although a certain sneaking Iobernol objected that his Verses savour'd more of the Wine than of the Oil. A certain Addle-headed Cocks-comb saith the same of my Books but a turd for him The fragrant Odour of the Wine Oh how much more sparkling warming charming celestial and delicious it is than of Oil And I will glory as much when it is said of me that I have spent more on Wine than Oil as did Demosthenes when it was told him That his Expence on Oil was greater than on Wine I truly held it for an honour to be called and reputed a good Fellow a pleasant Companion or Merry Andrew for under this name am I welcom in all choice Companies of Pantagruelists It was upbraided to Demosthenes by an envious surly Knave that his Orations did smell like the Sarpler or Clout that had stopped a musty Oil Vessel Therefore I pray interpret you all my Deeds and Sayings in the perfectest Sense reverence the Cheese-like brain that feeds you with all these jolly Maggots and do what lies in you to keep me alwaies merry Be frolic now my Lads chear up your Hearts and joyfully read the rest with all the Ease of your Body and Comfort to your Reins But hearken Ioltheads O dickens take ye off with your Bumper I will do you Reason pull away Supernaculum TO THE READER RAbelais had studied much and look'd about And found the World not worth one serious Thought So Reader howsoever pert thou art Take this along he lays it not to heart Before-hand with you here he reads your doom And damns Mankind past present and to come Be Knaves or Fools that either squint or drivel Blindfold he throws and gives you to the Devil He saw what beastly farce this World was grown That Sence and all Humanity were gone Reason from thee that never was his care He wou'd as soon chop Logic with a Bear But for the Laughing part he bids thee strain Laugh only so to shew thy self a Man CHAP. I. Of the Genealogy and Antiquity of GARGANTUA I Must refer you to the great Chronicle of Pantagruel for the knowledge of that Genealogy and Antiquity of Race by which Gargantua is descended unto us In it you may understand more at large how the Giants were born in this World and how from them by a direct Line issued Gargantua the Father of Pantagruel And do not take it ill if for this time I pass by it although the Subject be such that the oftner it were rememb'red the more it would please your Worships According to the Authority of Plato in Philebo and Gorgias and of Flaccus who says That there is some kind of Matters such as these are without doubt which the frequentlier they be repeated still prove the more delectable Would to God every one had as certain knowledge of his Genealogy siâ—ce the time of the Ark of Noah until this Age. I think many are at this Day Emperors Kings Dukes Princes and Popes on the Earth whose Extraction is from some Porters and Pardon-pedlars as on the contrary many are now poor wandring Beggars wretched and miserable who are descended of the Blood and Lineage of great Kings and Emperors occasioned as I conceive it by the Revolution of Kingdoms and Empires From the Assyrians to the Medes From the Medes to the Persians From the Persians to the Macedonians From the Macedonians to the Romans From the Romans to the Greeks From the Greeks to the Franks And to give you some hints concerning my self who speak unto you I cannot think but I am come of the Race of some rich King or Prince in former Times for never yet saw you any Man that had a greater desire to be a King and to be rich than I have and to the end only that I may make good Chear do nothing nor care for any thing and plentifully enrich my Friends and all honest and learned Men But herein do I comfort my self that in the other World I shall be all this yea and greater too than at this present I dare wish As for you with the same or a better conceit enjoy your selves in your distresses and drink fresh if you can come by it But returning to our Subject I say that by the especial care of Heaven the Antiquity and Genealogy of a Gargantua hath been reserved for our use more full and perfect than any other except that of the Messias whereof I mean not to speak for it belongs not unto my Province and the Devils that is to say the false Accusers and Church-vermin will be upon my Jacket This Genealogy was found by Iohn Andrew in a Meadow which he had near the Pole-arch under the Olive-tree as you go to Marsay Where as they were casting up some Ditches the diggers with their Mattocks struck against a great brazen Tomb unmeasurably along for they could never find the end thereof by reason that it entred too far within the Sluces of Vienne Opening this Tomb in a certain place thereof sealed on the top with the mark of a Goblet about which was written in Hetrurian Letters HIC BIBITVR they found nine Flaggons set in such order as they use to rank their Kyles in Gascony of which that which was placed in the middle had under it a big greasie great grey jolly small moudy little Pamphlet smelling stronger but no better then Roses In that Book the said Genealogy was found written all at length in a Chancery hand not in Paper not in Parchment nor in wax but in the Bark of an Elm-tree yet so worn with the long tract of time that hardly could three Letters together be there perfectly discerned I though unworthy was sent for thither and with much help of those Spectacles whereby the art of reading dim Writings and Letters that do not clearly appear to the sight is practised as Aristotle teacheth it did translate the Book as you may see in your Pantagruelising that is to say in drinking stifly to your own hearts desire and reading the dreadful and horrific Acts of Pantagruel At the end of the Book there was a little Treatise entituled the Antidoted Conundrums The Rats and Moths or that I may not lye other wicked Vermin had nimbed off the beginning the rest I have hereto subjoyned for the Reverence I bear to Antiquity CHAP. II. THE Antidoted Conundrums Found in an ancient Monument ....... The Cymbrians overcomer Pass thr ... the Air to shun the dew of Summer ... At his coming ... great Tubs were fill'd .... Fresh Butter down in showers distill'd ..... His Grandam overwhelm'd so hey Aloud he cry'd ............ His Whiskers all beray'd to make him madder So bang'd the Pitcher till they rear'd the Ladder To lick
sweat over all their Body or were otherways weary Then were they very well wip'd and rubbed shifted their shirts and walking soberly went to see if dinner were ready Whilst they stayed for that they did clearly and eloquetnly pronounce some sentences that they have retain'd of the Lecture in the mean time Master Appetite came and then very orderly sat they down at Table At the beginning of the meal there was read some pleasant History of the warlike actions of former times until he had taken a glass of Wine Then if they thought good they continu'd reading or began to discourse merrily together speaking first of the vertue propriety efficacy and nature of all that was serv'd in at the table of Bread of Wine of Water of Salt of Fleshes Fishes Fruits Herbs Roots and of their dressing by means whereof he learned in a little time all the passages competent for this that were to be found in Plinie Athenaeus Dioscorides Iulius Pollux Galen Porphirie Oppian Polybius Heliodore Aristotle Elian and others Whilst they talked of these things many times to be more certain they caused the very books to be brought to the Table and so well and perfectly did he in his memory retain the things abovesaid that in those Days there was not a Physician that knew half so much as he did Afterwards they conferr'd of the lessons read in the Morning and ending their repast with some conserve or marmelade of quinces he pick't his teeth with mastic tooth-pickers wash't his hands and eyes with fair fresh water and gave thanks unto God in some neat Hymn made in the praise of the divine bounty and munificence This done they brought in cards not to play but to learn a thousand pretty tricks and new inventions which were all grounded upon Arithmetic By this means he fell in love with that numerical science and every day after dinner and supper he past his time in it as pleasantly as he was wont to do at cards and dice So that at last he understood so well both the Theory and Practical part thereof that Tunstal the Englishman who had written very largely of that purpose confessed that verily in comparison of him he understood no more high Dutch And not only in that but in the other Mathematical Seiences as Geometrie Astronomie Music c. For in waiting on the concoction and attending the digestion of his food they made a thousand pretty instruments and Geometrical figures and did in some measure practise the Astronomical Canons After this they recreated themselves with singing musically in four or five parts or upon a set theme or ground at random as it best pleased them in matter of musical instruments he learned to play upon the Lute the Virginals the Harp the Allman Flute with nine holes the Viol and the Sackbut This hour thus spent and digestion finished he did purg his body of natural excrements then betook himself to his principal study for three hours together or more as well to repeat his morning Lectures as to proceed in the book he had in Hand as also to write handsomly to draw and form the Antic and Roman Letters This being done they went abroad and with them a young Gentleman of Tourain named the Esquire Gymnast who taught him the Art of riding changing then his clothes he rode a Naples courser a Dutch roussin a Spanish gennet a barded or trapped steed then a light fleet Horse unto whom he gave a hundred carieres made him go the high faults bounding in the air free the ditch with a skip leap over a stile or pale turn short in a ring both to the right and left hand There he broke not his lance for it is the greatest foolery in the world to say I have broken ten lances at tile or in fight a Carpenter can do even as much but it is a glorious and praise-worthy Action with one lance to break and overthrow ten Enemies Therefore with a sharp stiff strong and well steeled lance would he usually force up a door pierce a harness beat down a tree carry away the ring lift up a cuirasier saddle with the male coat and gantlet all this he did in compleat arms from head to foot As for the prancing flourishes and smacking popisms for the better cherishing of the horse commonly used in riding none did them better then he The great Vaulter of Ferrara was but as an Ape compared to him He was singularly skilful in leaping nimbly from one horse to another without putting foot to ground and these horses were called desultoriâ—s he could likewise from either side with a lance in his hand leap on horseback without stirrups and rule the horse at his pleasure without a Bridle for such things are useful in military Engagements Another day he exercised the battel-ax which he so dextrously wielded both in the nimble strong and smooth Management of that weapon and that in all the Feats practiseable by it that he past Knight of Arms in the field and at all Essays Then tost he the pike played with the two handed Sword with the Backsword with the Spanish tuck the dagger poiniard armed unarmed with a buckler with a cloak with a targuet Then would he hunt the Hart the Roe-buck the Bear the fallow Deer the wilde Boar the Hare the Phesant the Partridg and the Bustard He played at the Baloon and made it bound in the air both with fist and foot He wrestled ran jumped not at three steps and a leap nor at the Hears leap nor yet at the Almenes for said Gymnast these jumps are for the wars altogether unprofitable and of no use but at one leap he would skip over a Ditch spring over a Hedge mount six paces upon a Wall ramp and grapple after this fashon up against a window of the full height of a lance He did swim in deep Waters on his belly on his back sidewise with all his body with his feet only with one Hand in the Air wherein he held a book crossing thus the breadth of the River of Seina without wetting it and dragged along his cloak with his Teeth as did Iulius Caesar then with the help of one Hand he entred forcibly into a boat from whence he cast himself again headlong into the Water sounded the depths hollowed the rocks and plunged into the pits and gulphs Then turned he the boat about governed it led it swiftly or slowly with the stream and against the stream stopped it in its course guided it with one Hand and with the other laid hard about him with a huge great Oar hoised the sail hied up along the mast by the shrouds ran upon the edge of the decks set the compass in order tackled the boulins and steerr'd the helm Coming out of the Water he ran furiously up against a Hill and with the same alacrity and swiftness ran down again he climed up at trees like a cat and leaped from the one to the other like a squirrel
like a Boar which the Mongrel Mastiff-hounds have driven in and overthrown amongst the Toils What did they then All their Consolation was to have some Page of the said jolly Book read unto them And we have seen those who have given themselves to an hundred Punchions of old Devils in case that they did not feel a manifest Ease and Asswagement of Pain at the hearing of the said Book read even when they were kept in a Purgatory of Torment no more nor less than Women in Travail use to find their Sorrow abated when the Life of St. Margarite is read unto them Is this nothing find me a Book in any Language in any Faculty or Science whatsoever that hath such Virtues Properties and Prerogatives and I will be content to pay you a Chapine of Tripes No my Masters no it is peerless incomparable and not to be matched and this am I resolved for ever to maintain even unto the Fire exclusivè And those that will pertinaciously hold the contrary Opinion let them be accounted Abusers Predestinators Impostors and Seducers of the People It is very true that there are found in some noble and famous Books certain occult and hidden Properties in the number of which are reckoned Whippot Orlando furioso Robert the Devil Fierabras William without fear Huon of Bourdeaux Monteville and Matabrune but they are not comparable to that which we speak of And the World hath well known by infallible Experience the great Emolument and Vtility which it hath received by this Gargantuine Chronicle for the Printers have sold more of them in two Months time than there will be bought of Bibles in nine Years I therefore your humble Slave being very willing to increase your Solace and Recreations yet a little more do offer you for a Present another Book of the same stamp only that it is a little more reasonable and worthy of Credit than the other was for think not unless you wilfully will err against your Knowledg that I speak of it as the Jews do of the Law I was not born under such a Planet neither did it ever befal me to lie or affirm a thing for true that was not I speak of it like a jolly Onocrotarie I should say Preignotary of the martyrized Lovers and Croquenotarie of Love Quod vidimus testamur It is of the horrible and dreadful Feats and Prowesses of Pantagruel whose Menial Servant I have been ever since I was a Page till this hour that by his leave I am permitted to visit my Cow-Country and to know if any of my Kindred there be alive And therefore to make an end of this Prologue even as I give my self fairly to an hundred Panniers full of Devils Body and Soul Tripes and Guts in case that I lie so much as one single word in this whole History In like manner St. Anthony's Fire burn you Mawmet's Disease whirl you the Squinzy choke you Botches Crinckums sink you plumb down to Pegtrantums Plagues of Sodom and Gomorrah cram your pocky Arse with Sorrow Fire Brimstone and Pits bottomless swallow you all alive in case you do not firmly believe all that I shall relate unto you in this present Chronicle The Second Book of RABELAIS Treating of the Heroick Deeds and Sayings of the Good PANTAGRUEL CHAP. I. Of the Original and Antiquity of the Great Pantagruel IT will not be an idle nor unprofitable thing seeing we are at leasure to put you in mind of the Fountain and Original Source whence is derived unto us the good Pantagruel for I see that all good Historiographers have thus handled their Chronicles not only the Arabians Barbarians and Latines but also the gentle Greeks who were eternal Drinkers You must therefore remark that at the beginning of the World I speak of a long time it is above forty two Quarantains of Nights according to the supputation of the ancient Druids a little after that Abel was killed by his Brother Cain the Earth imbrued with the Blood of the Just was one Year so exceeding fertile in all those Fruits which it usually produceth to us and especially in Medlars that ever since throughout all Ages it hath been called the Year of the great Medlars for three of them did fill a Bushel In that Year the Calends were found by the Grecian Almanacks there was that Year nothâ—ng of the Month of March in the time of Lent and the middle of August was in May. In the Month of October as I take it or at least September that I may not err for I will carefully take heed of that was the Week so famous in the Annals which they call the Week of the three Thursdays for it had three of them by means of the irregular Bissextile occasioned by the Sun 's having tripped and stumbled a little towards the left hand like a Debtor afraid of Serjeants and the Moon varied from her Course above five Fathom and theâ—e was manifestly seen the Motion of Trepidation in the Firmament called Aplanes so that the middle Pleiade leaving her Fellows declined towards the Equinoctial and the Star named Spicâ— left the Constellation of the Virgin to withdraw her self towâ—rds the Ballance which are Cases very terrible and Matters so hard and difficult that Astrologians cannot set their Teeth in them and indeed their Teeth had been pretty long if they could have reached thither However account you it for a Truth that every body did then most heartily eat of these Medlars for they were fair to the Eye and in Taste delicious But even as Noah that holy Man to whom we are so much beholden bound and obliged for that he planted to us the Vine from whence we have that nectarian delicious precious heavenly joyful and deifick Liquor which they call the Piot or Tiplage was deceived in the drinking of it for he was ignorant of the great Virtue and Power thereof So likewise the Men and Women of that time did delight much in the eating of that fair great Fruit but divers and very different Accidents did ensue thereupon for there fell upon them all in their Bodies a most terrible Swelling but not upon all in the same place for some were swollen in the Belly and their Belly strouted out big like a great Tun of whom it is written Ventrem Omnipotentem who were all very honest Men and merry Blades and of this Race came St. Fatgulch and Shrovetuesday Others did swell at the Shoulders who in that place were so crump and knobby that they were therefore called Montifers which is as much as to say Hill-carriers of whom you see some yet in the World of divers Sexes and Degrees Of this Race came Aesop some of whose excellent Words and Deeds you have in Writing Some other Puffes did swell in length by the Member which they call the Labourer of Nature in such sort that it grew marvellous long plump jolly lusty stirring and Crest-risen in the Antick fashion so that they made use of it as
sufficienly dry already without being heated any further He went then to Monpellier where he met with the good Wives of Mirevaux and good jovial Company withal and thought to have set himself to the study of Physick but he considered that that Calling was too troublesome and melancholy and that Physicians did smell of Glisters like old Devils therefore he resolved he would study the Laws but seeing that there were but three scauld and one bald-pated Legist in that place he departed from thence and in his way made the Bridg of Gard and the Amphitheater of Neems in less than three hours which nevertheless seems to be more than mortal Man could do After that he came to Avignon where he was not above three days before he fell in love for the Women there take great delight in playing at the close Buttock-Game because it is Papal Ground which his Tutor Epistemon perceiving he drew him out of that place and brought him to Valence in the Dauphinee where he saw no great matter of Recreation only that the Lubbards of the Town did beat the Scholars which so incensed him with Anger that when upon a certain very fair Sunday the People being at their publick dancing in the Streets and one of the Scholars offering to put himself into the Ring the Bumkins would not let him whereupon Pantagruel taking the Scholar's part so belaboured them with Blows and laid such load upon them that he drove them all before him even to the Brink of the River Rhosne and would have there drowned them but that they did squat to the Ground and there lay close a full half League under the River The Hole is to be seen there yet After that he departed from thence and in three Strides and one Leap came to Angiers where he found himself very well and would have continued there some space but that the Plague drove them away So from thence he came to Bourges where he studied a good long time and profited very much in the Faculty of the Laws and would sometimes say that law-Law-Books were like a wonderful rich Cloth of Gold edg'd with Fur for in the World are no goodlier Books to be seen more ornate nor more eloquent than the Texts of the Pandects but the bordering of them that is to say the Gloss of Accursius is so vile mean and scandalous that it is nothing but Dirt and Excrement Going from Bourges he came to Orleans where he found store of sparkish Scholars that made him great Entertainment at his coming and with whom he learned to play at Tennis so well that he was a Master at that Game for the Students there are excellent at it And sometimes they carried him unto Cupid's Gardens there to recreate his Person at the Poussevant or In and In. As for breaking his Head with over-much study he had an especial care not to do it in any case for fear of spoiling his Eyes which he the rather observed for that one of the Regents there had often in his Lectures maintain'd that nothing could be so hurtful to the sight as to have sore Eyes So one day when a Scholar of his Acquaintance who had of Learning not much more than his Brethren tho instead of that he could dance very well and play at Tennis was made a Licentiate in Law he blazon'd the Licentiates of that University in this manner In his Hand is always a Racket Or else is his Hand in a Placket In a Dance he neatly can trip it And for Law it is all in his Tippet CHAP. VI. How Pantagruel met with a Limousin who affected to speak in learned Phrase UPon a certain day I know not when Pantagruel walking after Supper with some of his Fellow-Students without that Gate of the City through which we enter on the Rode to Paris encounter'd with a young spruce-like Scholar that was coming upon the same very way and after they had saluted one another asked him thus My Friend from whence comest thou now The Scholar answered him From the Alme inclyte and celebrate Academy which is vocitated Lutetia What is the meaning of this said Pantagruel to one of his Men It is answered he from Paris Thou comest from Paris then said Pantagruel and how do you spend your time there you my Masters the Students of Paris The Scholar answered We transfretate the Sequan at the Dilucul and Crepuscul we deambulate by the Compites and Quadrives of the Vrb we despumate the Latial Verbocination and like verisimularie amorabons we captat the Benevolence of the Omnijugal Omniform and Omnigenal Foeminine Sex upon certain Diecules we invisat the Lupanares and in a venerian extase inculcate our Veretres into the penitissime Recesses of the Pudends of these amicabilissim meretricules then do we cauponisate in the meritory Taberns of the Pineapple the Castle the Magdalene and the Mule goodly vervecine Spatules perforaminated with Petrocile and if by fortune there be Rarity or penury of Pecune in our Marsupies and that they be exhausted of ferruginean Metal for the shot we dimit our Codices and oppugnerat our Vestiments whilst we prestolate the coming of the Tabellaries from the Penates and patriotick Lares To which Pantagruel answered What devillish Language is this by the Lord I think thou art some kind of Heretick My Lord No said the Scholar for libentissimally assoon as it illucesceth any minutle slice of the Day I demigrate into one of these so well architected Minsters and there irrorating my self with fair lustral Water I mumble off little parcels of some missick Precation of our Sacrificuls and submurmurating my horary Precules I elevate and absterge my anime from its nocturnal Inquinations I revere the Olympicols I latrially venere the supernal Astripotent I dilige and redame my Proxims I observe the decalogical Precepts and according to the facultatule of my Vires I do not discede from them one late Vnguicule nevertheless it is veriform that because Mammona doth not supergurgitate any thing in my Loculs that I am somewhat rare and lent to supererrogate the Elemosynes to those Egents that hostially queritate their stipe Prut tut said Pantagruel what doth this Fool mean to say I think he is upon the forging of some diabolical Tongue and that Inchanter-like he would charm us To whom one of his Men said Without doubt Sir this Fellow would counterfeit the Language of the Parisians but he doth only flay the Latin imagining by so doing that he doth highly Pindarize it in most eloquent Terms and strongly conceiteth himself to be therefore a great Orator in the French because he disdaineth the common manner of speaking To which Pantagruel said Is it true The Scholar answered My worshipful Lord my Genie is not apt nate to that which this flagitious Nebulon saith to excoriate the Tuticle of our vernacular Gallick but viceversally I gnave opere and by vele and rames enite to locupletate it with the Latinicome redundance By G said
Pantagruel I will teach you to speak But first come hither and tell me whence thou art To this the Scholar answered The primeval Origin of my Aves and Ataves was indigenary of the Lemonick Regions where requiesceth the Corpor of the Hagiotat St. Martial I understand thee very well said Pantagruel when all comes to all thou art a Limousin and thou wilt here by thy affected Speech counterfeit the Parisians Well now come hither I must shew thee a new Trick and handsomly give thee the Combfeat With this he took him by the Throat saying to him Thou flayest the Latin by St. Iohn I will make thee flay the Fox for I will now flay thee alive Then began the poor Limousin to cry Haw gwid Maaster haw Laord my Halp and St. Marshaw haw I 'm worried haw my Thropple the Bean of me Cragg is bruck haw for Guaads seck lawt me lean Mawster waw waw waw Now said Pantagruel thou speakest naturally and so let him go for the poor Limousin had totally berayed and throughly conshit his Breeches which were not deep and large but made à quâ—üe de merlus Then said Pantagruel St. Alipantiu what civette Foh foh to the Devil with this Turnep-Eater How he stinks and so let him go But this Hug of Pantagruel's was such a Terror to him all the Days of his Life and he had such a Thirst upon him that he would often cry out that Pantagruel held him by the Throat And after some few Years he died of the Death Roland a Work of Divine Vengeance shewing us that which saith the Philosopher and Aulus Gellius that it becometh us to speak according to the common Language and that we should as said Octavian Augustus shun all strange Words with as much Care as Pilots of Ships avoid the Rocks in the Sea CHAP. VII How Pantagruel came to Paris and of the choice Books of the Library of St. Victor AFter that Pantagruel had studied very well at Orleans he resolved to see the great University of Paris but before his Departure he was informed that there was a huge big Bell at St. Anian in the said Town of Orleans under the Ground which had been there above two hundred and fourteen Years for it was so great that they could not by any device get it so much as above the Ground although they used all the means that are found in Vitruvius de Architectura Albertus de re aedificatoria Euclid Theon Archimedes and Hero de ingeniis for all that was to no purpose Wherefore condescending heartily to the humble Request of the Citizens and Inhabitants of the said Town he determined to remove it to the Tower that was erected for it With that he came to the Place where it was and lifted it out of the Ground with his little Finger as easily as you would have done a Hawk's Bell But before he would carry it to the foresaid Tower he would needs make some Musick with it about the Town and ring it alongst all the Streets as he carried it in his Hand wherewith all the People were very glad but there happened one great Inconveniency for with carrying it so and ringing it about the Streets all the good Orleans Wine turned instantly and was spoiled which no Body there did perceive till the Night following for every Man found himself so a dry with drinking these flat Wines that they did nothing but spit and that as white as Maltha Cotton saying We have got the Pantagruel and our very Throats are salted This done he came to Paris with his Retinue and at his entry every one came out to see him as you know well enough that the People of Paris are Sots by Nature by B flat and B sharp and beheld him with great Astonishment mixed with no less Fear that he would carry away the Palace into some other Country à remotis as his Father formerly had done the great Bells at our Ladies Church to tie about his Mare 's Neck Now after he had stayed there a pretty space and studied very well in all the seven Liberal Arts he said it was a good Town to live in but not to die there for that the Grave-digging Rogues of St. Innocent used in frosty Nights to warm their Bums with dead Mens Bones In his abode there he found the Library of St. Victor very magnificent especially in some Books which were there of which followeth the Catalogue Et primò The for Godsake of Salvation The Cod-piece of the Law The Slip-shoe of the Decretals The Pomegranate of Vice The Clew-bottom of Theology The Duster or Foxtail-flap of Preachers Composed by Turlupin The churning Ballock of the Valiant The Henbane of the Bishops Marmoretus de baboonis apis cum Commento Dorbellis Decretum Vniversitatis Parisiensis super gorgiasitate muliercularum ad placitum The Apparition of Sancte Geltrud to a Nun of Poissie being in travel at the bringing forth of a Child Ars honestè fartandi in societate per Marcum Corvinum The Mustard-pot of Penance The Gamashes alià s the Boots of Patience Formicarium Artium De brodiorum usu honestate Chopinandi per Sylvestrem prioratem Jacobinum The Coosened or Gulled in Court The Frail of the Scriveners The Marriage-packet The Cruzie or Crucible of Contemplation The Flimflams of the Law The Prickle of Wine The Spurre of Cheese Ruboffatorium scolarium Tartaretus de modo cacandi The Bravades of Rome Bricot de differentiis souparum The Tail-piece Cushion or Close-Breech of Discipline The cobbled Shoe of Humility The Trevet of good Thoughts The Kettle of Magnanimity The cavilling Intanglements of Confessors The Knachfare of the Curates Reverendi patris fratris Lubini provincialis Bavardia de croquendis lardonibus libri tres Pasquilli doctoris marmorei de capreolis cum chardoneta comedendis tempore Papali ab Ecclesia interdicto The Invention of the Holy Cross personated by six wilie Priests The Spectacles of Pilgrims bound for Rome Majoris de modo faciendi Puddinos The Bag-pipe of the Prelates Beda de optimitate triparum The Complaint of the Barresters upon the Reformation of Confites The furred Cat of the Solicitors and Attorneys Of Pease and Bacon cum Commento The small Vales or drinking Money of the Indulgences Praeclarissimi juris utriusque Doctoris Maistre pilloti c. Raque denari de bobelinandis glassaccursianae Triflis repetitio enucidiluculissima Stratagemata francharchaeri de Baniolet Carlbumpkinus de re militari cum figuris Tevoti De usu utilitate flayandi equos equas authore Magistro nostro de quebecu The Sawciness of Country-Stuarts M. N. Rostocostojan Bedanesse de mustarda post prandium servienda libri quatuor decim apostillati per M. Vaurillonis The Covillage or Ballock-Money of Promooters Quaestio subtilissima utrum Chimaera in vacuo bombistans posset comedere secundas intentiones fuit debatuta per decem hebdomadas in Consilio Constantiensi The Bridle-champer of the Advocates Smutchudlamenta
I will reduce them into Writing and to Morrow publish them to all the learned Men in the City that we may dispute publickly before them But see in what manner I mean that we shall dispute I will not argue pro contra as do the sottish Sophisters of this Town and other Places Likewise I will not dispute after the manner of the Academicks by Declamation Nor yet by Numbers as Pythagoras was wont to do and as Picus de la mirandula did of late at Rome But I will dispute by Signs only without speaking for the Matters are so abstruse hard and arduous that Words proceeding from the Mouth of Man will never be sufficient for unfolding of them to my liking May it therefore please your Magnificence to be there it shall be at the great Hall of Navarre at seven a Clock in the Morning When he had spoke these Words Pantagruel very honourably said unto him Sir of the Graces that God hath bestowed upon me I would not deny to communicate unto any Man to my Power for whatever comes from him is good and his Pleasure is that it should be increased when we come amongst Men worthy and fit to receive this celestial Manna of honest Literature In which Number because that in this Time as I do already very plainly perceive thou holdest the first Rank I give thee Notice that at all Hours thou shalt find me ready to condescend to every one of thy Requests according to my poor Ability although I ought rather to learn of thee than thou of me but as thou hast protested we will confer of these Doubts together and will seek out the Resolution even unto the bottom of that undrainable Well where Heraclitus says the Truth lies hidden And I do highly commend the manner of arguing which thou hast proposed to wit by Signs without speaking for by this Means thou and I shall understand one another well enough and yet shall be free from this clapping of Hands which these blockish Sophisters make when any of the Arguers hath gotten the better of the Argument Now to Morrow I will not fail to meet thee at the Place and Hour that thou hast appointed but let me intreat thee that there be not any Strife or Uproar between us and that we seek not the Honour and Applause of Men but the Truth only To which Thaumast answered The Lord God maintain you in his Favour and Grace and instead of my Thankfulness to you pour down his Blessings upon you for that your Highness and magnificent Greatness hath not dâ—sdained to descend to the Grant of the Request of my poor Baseness so farewel till to Morrow Farewel said Pantagruel Gentlemen you that read this present Discourse think not that ever Men were more elevated and transported in their Thoughts than all this Night were both Thaumast and Pantagruel for Thaumast said to the Keeper of the House of Cluny where he was lodged that in all his Life he had never known himself so dry as he was that Night I think said he that Pantagruel held me by the Throat Give Order I pray you that we may have some Drink and see that some fresh Water be brought to us to gargle my Palat. On the other side Pantagruel stretched his Wits as high as he could entring into very deep and serious Meditations and did nothing all that Night but plod upon and turn over the Book of Beda de Numeris Signis Plotius's Book de Inenarrabilibus The Book of Proclus de Magia The Book of Artemidorus 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Of Anaxagaras 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Dinatius 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 The Books of Philistion Hipponax 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 and a Rabble of others so long that Panurge said unto him My Lord leave all these Thoughts and go to Bed for I perceive your Spirits to be so troubled by a too intensive bending of them that you may easily fall into some Quotidian Fever with this so excessive thinking and plodding but having first drank twenty five or thirty good Draughts retire your self and sleep your fill for in the Morning I will argue against and answer your Monsieur the Englishman and if I drive him not ad metam non loqui then call me Knave Yea but said he my Friend Panurge he is marvellously learned how wilt thou be able to answer him Very well answered Panurge I pray you talk no more of it but let me alone is any Man so learned as the Devils are No indeed said Pantagruel without God's especial Grace Yet for all that said Panurge I have argued against them gravelled and blanked them in Disputation and laid them so squat upon their Tails that I have made them look like Monkies therefore be assured that to Morrow I will make this vain-glorious Englishman to skite Vinegar before all the World So Panurge spent the Night with tipling amongst the Pages and played away all the Points of his Breeches at primus secundus and at Peck-point Yet when the appointed Time was come he failed not to conduct his Master Pantagruel to the Place unto which believe me there was neither great nor small in Paris but came thinking with themselves that this devilish Pantagruel who had overthrown and vanquished in Dispute all these doting fresh-water Sophisters would now get full Payment and be tickled to some purpose for this Englishman is another Devil of a Disputant we will see who will be Conqueror Thus all being assembled Thaumast stayed for them and then when Pantagruel and Panurge came into the Hall all the School-boys Professors of Arts Senior-Sophisters and Batchelors began to clap their Hands as their scurvy Custom is but Pantagruel cried out with a loud Voice as if it had been the Sound of a double Cannon saying Peace with a Devil to you Peace by G you Rogues if you trouble me here I will cut off the Heads of every one of you At which Words they remained all daunted and astonished like so many Ducks and durst not do so much as cough although they had swallowed fifteen Pounds oâ— Feathers withal they grew so dry with this only Voice that they laid out their Tongues a full half Foot beyond their Mouths as if Pantagruel had salted all their Throats Then began Panurge to speak saying to the Englishman Sir are you come hither to dispute contentiously in those Propositions you have set down or otherways but to learn and know the Truth To which answered Thaumast Sir no other thing brought me hither but the great Desire I had to learn and to know that of which I have doubted all my Life long and have neither found Book nor Man able to content me in the Resolution of those Doubts which I have proposed And as for disputing contentiously I will not do it for it is too base a thing and therefore leave it to those sottish Sophisters who in their Disputes do not search for the Truth but for Contradiction only
entered one of his Men carrying a Lanthorn and a Torch lighted and so Pantagruel swallowed him down like a little Pill Into seven others went seven Country-fellows having every one of them a Shovel on his Neck Into nine others entred nine Wood-carriers having each of them a Basket hung at his Neck and so were they swallowed down like Pills When they were in his Stomach every one undid his Spring and came out of their Cabins the first whereof was he that carried the Lanthorn and so they fell more than half a League into aâ—most horrible Gulph more stinking and infectious than ever was Mephitis or the Marishes of Camerina or the abominably unsavory Lake of Sorbona whereof Strabo maketh mention And had it not been that they had very well antidoted their Stomach Heart and Wine-pot which is called the Noddle they had been altogether suffocated and choaked with these detestable Vapours O what a Perfume O what an Evaporation wherewith to bewray the Masks or Muflers of young mangy Queans After that with groping and smelling they came near to the fecal Matter and the corrupted Humours Finally they found a Montjoy or Heap of Ordure and Filth then fell the Pioneers to work to dig it up and the rest with their Shovels filled the Baskets and when all was cleansed every one retired himself into his Ball. This done Pantagruel enforcing himself to a Vomit very easily brought them out and they made no more shew in his Mouth than a Fart in yours But when they came merrily out of their Pills I thought upon the Grecians coming out of the Trojan Horse By this Means was â—he healed and brought unto his former State and Convalescence And of these brazen Pills you have one at Orleans upon the Steeple of the Holy Cross Church CHAP. XXXIV The Conclusion of this present Book and the Excuse of the Author NOw my Masters you have heard a Beginning of the horrifick History of my Lord and Master Pantagruel Here will I make an end of the first Book My Head aches a little and I perceive that the Registers of my Brain are somewhat jumbled and disordered with this Septembral Iuice You shall have the rest of the History at Frankfort Mart next coming and there shall you see how Panurge was married and made a Cuckold within a Month after his Wedding how Pantagruel found out the Philosopher's Stone the Manner how he found it and the Way how to use it How he past over the Caspian Mountains and how he sailed through the Atlantick Sea defeated the Cannibals and conquered the Isles of Perles how he married the Daughter of the King of India called Presian how he fought against the Devil and burnt up five Chambers of Hell ransacked the great black Chamber threw Proserpina into the Fire broke five Teeth of Lucifer and the Horn that was in his Arse How he visited the Regions of the Moon to know whether indeed the Moon were not entire and whole or if the Women had three Quarters of it in their Heads and a thousand other little Merriments all veritable These are brave things truly Good Night Gentlemen Perdonate mi and think not so much upon my Faults that you forget your own If you say to me Master it would seem that you were not very wise in writing to us these flimflam Stories and pleasant Fooleries I answer you that you are not much wiser to spend your time in reading them Nevertheless if you read them to make your selves merry as in manner of Pastime I wrote them you and I both are far more worthy of Pardon than a great Rabble of squint-minded Fellows counterfeit Saints demure Lookers Hypocrites Zealots tough Fryars Buskin-Monks and other such Sects of Men who disguise themselves like Maskers to deceive the World for whilst they give the common People to understand that they are busied about nothing but Contemplation and Devotion in Fastings and Maceration of their Sensuality and that only to sustain and aliment the small Frailty of their Humanity it is so far otherwise that on the contrary God knows what cheer they make Et Curios simulant sed bacchanalia vivunt You may read it in great Letters in the colouring of their red Snowts and gulching Bellies as big as a Tun unless it be when they perfume themselves with Sulphur As for their Study it is wholly taken up in reading of Pantagruelin Books not so much to pass the Time merriiy as to hurt some one or other mischievously to wit in articling sole-articling wry-neckifying buttock-stirring ballocking and diabliculating that is calumniating wherein they are like unto the poor Rogues of a Village that are busy in stirring up and scraping in the Ordure and Filth of little Children in the Season of Cherries and Guinds and that only to find the Kernels that they may sell them to the Druggists to make thereof Pomander-Oil Fly from these Men abhor and hate them as much as I do and upon my Faith you will find your selves the better for it And if you desire to be good Pantagruelists that is to say to live in Peace Joy Health making your selves always merry never trust those Men that always peep out at one Hole The End of the Second Book of RABELAIS FINIS THE THIRD BOOK OF THE WORKS OF Mr. Francis Rabelais Doctor in Physick Containing the Heroick Deeds of Pantagruel the Son of Gargantua Now faithfully Translated into English by the unimitable Pen of Sir Thomas Vrwhart K t. Bar. The Translator of the Two First BOOKS Never before Printed LONDON Printed for Richard Baldwin near the Oxford Arms in Warwick-Lane 1693. Francis Rabelais to the Soul of the deceased Queen of Navarre ABstracted Soul ravish'd with extasies Gone back and now familiar in the Skies Thy former Host thy Body leaving quite Which to obey thee always took delight Obsequious ready Now from motion free Senseless and as it were in Apathy Wouldst thou not issue forth for a short space From that Divine Eternal Heavenly place To see the third part in this earthy Cell Of the brave Acts of good Pantagruel The Third Book of the Heroick Deeds and Sayings of the good Pantagruel The AUTHOR's Prologue GOOD People most Illustrious Drinkers and you thrice precious gouty Gentlemen Did you ever see Diogenes the Cynick Philosopher if you have seen him you then had your Eyes in your Head or I am very much out of my Understanding and Logical Sense It is a gallant thing to see the clearness of Wine Gold the Sun I 'll be judged by the blind born so renowned in the Sacred Scriptures who having at his choice to ask whatever he would from him who is Almighty and whose Word in an Instant is effectually performed asked nothing else but that he might see Item you are not young which is a competent Quality for you to Philosophat more than Physically in Wine not in vain and henceforwards to be of the Bacchick Council to the end that