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A27204 Wit withovt money a comedie, as it hath been presented with good applause at the private house in Drury Lane, by Her Majesties servants / written by [brace] Francis Beamount [sic] and John Flecher ... Beaumont, Francis, 1584-1616.; Fletcher, John, 1579-1625. 1661 (1661) Wing B1617; ESTC R36647 42,273 65

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has found what dough-you are made of and so kneads you are you good at nothing but these after-games I have told you often enough what things they are what precious things these widows Hare If we had um Val. Why the Devil has not craft enough to wooe um there be three kinds of fools mark this note Gentlemen mark it and understand it Fount Well go forward Val. An Innocent a Knave fool a Fool politick the last of which are lovers widow lovers Bell. VVill you allow no Fortune Val. No such blind one Fount VVe gave you reasons why t was needful for us Val. As you are those fools I did allow those reasons but as my Schollars and Companions damn'd um do you know what it is to wooe a widow answer me coolely now and understandingly Hare VVhy to lie with her and to enjoy her wealth Val. VVhy there you are fools still crafty to catch your selves pure politick fools I lookt for such an answer once more hear me it is to wed a widow to be doubted mainly whether the state you have be yours or no or those old boots you ride in Mark me widowes are long extents in Law upon newes livings upon their bodies winding-sheets they that enjoy um lie but with dead mens monuments and be get onely their owne ill Epitaphs Is not this plain now Bell. Plain spoken Val. And plain truth but if you 'le needs do things of danger do but loose your selves not any part concerns your understandings for then you are Meacocks fools and miserable march off amain within an inch of a Fircug turn me o th' toe like a VVeather-cock kill every day a Sergeant for a twelve moneth rob the Exchequer and burn all the Rolls and these will make a shew Hare And these are trifles Val. Considered to a VVidow empty nothings for here you venture but your persons there the varnish of your persons your discretions why t is a monstrous thing to marry at all especially as now t is made me thinks a man an understanding man is more wise to me and of a nobler tie than all these trinkets what do we get by women but our senses which is the rankest part about us satisfied and when that 's done what are we Crest fallen Cowards VVhat benefit can children be but charges and disobedience VVhat 's the love they render at one and twenty years I pray die father when they are young they are like bells rung backwards nothing but noise and giddinesse and come to years once there drops a son by th' sword in his Mistresses quarrell a great joy to his parents A daughter ripe too growes high and lusty in her blood must have a heating runs away with a supple ham'd Servingman his twenty Nobles spent takes to a trade and learns to spin mens hair off there 's another and most are of this nature will you marry Fount For my part yes for any doubt I feel yet Val. And this same VVidow Fount If I may and me thinks however you are pleased to dispute these dangers such a warm match and for you sir were not hurtfull Val. Not half so killing as for you for me she cannot with all the Art she has make me more miserable or much more fortunate I have no state left a benefit that none of you can brag of and there 's the Antidote against a VVidow nothing to lose but that my soul inherits which she can neither law nor claw away to that but little flesh it were too much else and that unwholsom too it were too rich else and to all this contempt of what she do's I can laugh at her tears neglect her angers hear her without a faith so pity her as if she were a Traytour moane her person but deadly hate her pride if you could do these and had but this discretion and like fortune it were but an equal venture Fount This is malice Val. When she lies with your land and nor with you growes great with joyntures and is brought to bed with all the state you have you 'le find this certain but is it come to passe you must marry is there no buffe will hold you Bel. Grant it be so Val. Then chuse the tamer evil take a maid a maid not worth a penny make her yours knead her and mould her yours a maid worth nothing there 's a vertuous spell in that word nothing a maid makes conscience of half a Crown a week for pies and puppits a maid will be content with one Coach and two Horses not falling out because they are not matches with one man satisfied with one rein guided with one faith one content one bed aged she makes the wise preserves the same and issue a widow is a Christmas-box that sweeps all Fount Yet all this cannot sink us Val. You are my friends and all my loving friends I spend your money yet I deserve it too you are my friends still I ride your horses when I want I sell um I eat your meat help to wear her linnen sometimes I make you drunk and then you seal for which I le do you this commodity be ruled and let me try her I will discover her the truth is I will never leave to trouble her till I see through her then if I find her worthy Hare This was our meaning Valentine Val. 'T is done then I must want nothing Hare Nothing but the woman Vnl. No jealousie for when I marry the Devil must be wiser than I take him aud the Flesh foolisher come let 's to dinner and when I am well whetted with wine have at her Exeunt Enter Isabella and Luce. Isab. But art thou sure Luce. No surer then I heard Hare That it was that flouting fellowes brother Luce. Yes Shorthose told me so He did searce out the truth Lece It seems he did Har. Prethe Lu call him hether if he be no worse I never repent my pity now sirra what was he we sent you after the Gentleman i th black Enter Shorthose Shrot. i th torn black Isa. Yes the same fir Short What would your Worship with him Isa. Why my Worship would know his name and what he is Short ' Is nothing he is a man and yet he is no man Isa. You must needs play the fool Short T is my profession Isa. How is he a man and no man Short Hee s a begger only the signe of a man the bush puld down which showes the house stands emptie Isa. What 's his calling Short They call him begger Isa. What 's his kindred Short Beggers Isa. His worth Short A learned begger a poor Scholler Isab. How does he live Short Like wormes he eats old Books Isa. Is Valentine his brother Short His beging brother Isa. What may his name be Short Orson Isa. Leave your fooling Short You had as good say leave your living Isab. Once more tell me his name directly Short I le be hangd first unless I heard him Christned but I can
by the hundreds I did it that my best friend should not know it wine and vain glorie does as much as I else if you will force my merit against my meaning use it in well bestowing it in shewing it came to be a benefit and was so and not examining a woman did it or to what end in not beleeving sometimes your self when drink and stirring conversation may ripen strange perswasions Fran. Gentle Ladie I were a base receiver of a courtesie and you a worse disposer were my nature unfurnished of these fore-sights Ladies honours were ever in my thoughts unspotted crimes their good deeds holy temples where the incense burns not to common eyes your fears are vertuous and so I shall preserve um Isa. Keep but this way and from this place to tell me so you have paid me and so I wish you see all fortune Exit Wid. Fear not the woman will be thanked I do not doubt it are you so craftie carrie it so precisely this is to wake my fears or to abuse me I shall look narrowly despaire not Gentlemen there is an hour to catch a woman in if you be wise so I must leave you too Now will I go laugh at my Suitors Exit Lan. Sir what courage Fran. This woman is a founder and cites statutes to all her benefits Lan. I never knew yet so few years and so cunning yet beleeve me she has an itch but how to make her confesse it for it is a craftie Tit and playes about you will not bite home she would fain but she dares not carrie your self but so discreetly sir that want or wantonnesse seem not to search you and you shall see her open Fran. I do love her and were I rich would give two thousand pound to wed her wit but one hour oh t is a dragon and such a spritely way of pleasure ha Lance. Lan. Your ha Lance broken once you would crie ho ho Lance. Fran. Some leaden landed rogue will have this wench now when all 's done some such youth will carrie her and wear her greasie out like stuffe some Dunce that knowes no more but markets and admires nothing but a long charge at Sizes O the fortunes Enter Isabel and Luce. Lan. Comfort your self Luce. They are here yet and a love too boldly upon 't nay Mistresse I still told you how t' would finde your trust this t is to venture your charitie upon a boy Lan. Now what 's the matter stand fast and like your self Isa. Prethee no more wench Luce. What was his want to you Isa. T is true Luce. Or misery or say he had been i th' Cage was there no mercie to look abroad but yours Isa. I am paid for fooling Luce. Must every slight companion that can purchase a shew of poverty and beggerly planet fall under your compassion Lance. Here 's a new matter Luce. Nay you are served but too well here he staies yet yet as I live Fran. How her face alters on me Luce. Out of a confidence I hope Isa. I am glad on 't Fran. How do you gentle Lady Isa. Much ashamed sir but first stand further off me y' are infectious to find such vanitie nay almost impudence where I beleeve a worth is this your thanks the gratitude you were so mad to make me your trim counsell Gentlemen Lanc. What Lady Isa. Take your device agen it will not serve sir the woman will not bite you are finely cosened drop it no more for shame Luce. Do you think you are here sir amongst your wastcoateers your base wenches that scratch at such occasions you are deluded This is a Gentlewoman of a noble house born to a better fame than you can build her and eyes above your pitch Fran. I do acknowledge Isa. Then I beseech you sir what could ' see speak boldly and speak truly shame the Devil in my behaviour of such easinesse that you durst venture to do this Fran. You amaze me this Ring is none of mine nor did I drop it Luce. I saw you drop it sir. Isa. I took it up too still looking when your modesty should misse it why what a childish part was this Fran. I vow Isa. Vow me no vowes he that dares do this has bred himself to boldnesse to forswear too there take your gewgaw you are too much pampered and I repent my part as you grow older grow wiser if you can and so farewell sir. Exit Isabella and Luce. Lan. Grow wiser if you can she has put it to you t is a rich Ring did you drop it Fran. Never nere see it afore Lance. Lan. Thereby hangs a tail then what slight she makes to catch her self look up sir you cannot lose her if you would how daintily she flies upon the Lure and cunningly she makes her stops whistle and shee 'l come to you Fran. I would I were so happy Lan. Maids are Clocks the greatest Wheel they show goes slowest to us and mak's hang on tedious hopes the lesser which alre concealed being often oyl'd with wishes flee like defires and never leave that motion till the tongue strikes she is flesh blood and marrow young as her purpose and soft as pity no Monument to worship but a mould to make men in a neat one and I know how ere she appears now which is neer enough you are stark blinde if you hit not soon at night she would venture forty pounds more but to feel a Flea in your shape bite her drop no more Rings forsooth this was the prettiest thing to know her heart by Fran. Thou puts me in much comfort Lan. Put your self in good comfort if she do not point you out the way drop no more rings shee 'l drop her self into you Fran. I wonder my brother comes not Lan. Let him alone and feed your self on your own fortunes come be frollicke and le ts be monstrous wise and full of councell drop no more Rings Exit Enter Widdow Fountain Bellamore Harebrain Wid. If you will needs be foolish you must be used so who sent for you who entertained you Gentlemen who bid you welcome hither you came crowding and impudently bold press on my patience as if I kept a house for all Companions and of all sorts will ' have your wills will'vexe me and force my liking from you I nere owe'd you Fount For all this we will dine with you Bell. And for all this will have a better answer from you Wid. You shall never neither have an answer nor dinner unless you use me with a more staid respect and stay your time too Enter Isabella Shorthose Roger Humpherey Ralph with dishes of meat Isab. Forward with the meat now Rog. Come Gentlemen march fairly Short Roger you are a weak Servingman your white broath runs from you fie how I sweat under this Pile of Beef an Elephant can do more Oh for such a back now and in these times what might a man arrive at Goose grase you up and Woodcock march