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A66701 The new help to discourse or, Wit, mirth, and jollity. intermixt with more serious matters consisting of pleasant astrological, astronomical, philosophical, grammatical, physical, chyrurgical, historical, moral, and poetical questions and answers. As also histories, poems, songs, epitaphs, epigrams, anagrams, acrosticks, riddles, jests, poesies, complements, &c. With several other varieties intermixt; together with The countrey-man's guide; containing directions for the true knowledge of several matters concerning astronomy and husbandry, in a more plain and easie method than any yet extant. By W. W. gent. Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698.; Winstanley, William, 1628?-1698. Country-man's guide. aut. 1680 (1680) Wing W3070; ESTC R222284 116,837 246

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they would break the back of Simon of Cyrene to carry them but these are pious frauds and so much the more tolerable in that they bring great gain into the Popes Treasury Of the Temple thus built was afterwards instituted an Order of Knights Templers by Hugh of Payennes Anno 1113. and confirmed by Pope Eugenius their Ensign was a red Cross in token that they should shed their blood to defend Christs Temple They were Cross-legged and wore on their backs the figure of the Cross for which they were by the common people called cross-back or crouk-back and by corruption crook-back Edmund Earl of Lancaster second Son to our Henry the third being of this Order was vulgarly called Edmund Crook-back which made Henry the fourth conceited that this Edmund from whom he was descended was indeed the eldest Son of King Henry but that for his crookedness and deformity his younger Brother was preferred to the Crown before him These Knights in process of time grew very rich having in all Provinces of Europe their subordinate Governors in which they did possess no less than 16000 Lordships The House of our Law Students in London called the Temple was the chief House of the Knights of this order in England where at this day some of their Images are to be seen with their legs across as they were here buried amongst whom was William Marshal the Elder a most powerful man in his time William and Gilbert his Sons Marshals of England and Earls of Pembroke upon Willa●m the Elder his Tomb some years since was read in the upper part Comes Pembrochia and on his side this verse Miles eram Martis Mars m●●ltos vic●rit armis This Order which at first was very poor insomuch that their common seal was two riding upon one Horse in little time with insatiable greediness they hoarded up great wealth by withdrawing Tithes from the Church appropriating spiritual things to themselves and other bad means which riches of theirs turned to their ruine for Philip the fair King of France having a plot to invest one of his Sons with the Title of King of Ierusalem procured of the Pope the revenue of this Order which he thought to do the better because Clement the fifth then Pope for the love he bare to France had transferred his seat from Rome to Avignon But though he affected the one he was deceived in the other for this Order being dissolved and many of them cruelly and as it is thought unjustly put to death the Lands thereto belonging were by a general Council given to the Knights Hospitallers of St. John which said Knights of that Order in England whose principal mansion was in Smithfield sold the aforesaid House of the Templers to the Students of Laws for the yearly rent of ten pound about the middle of the Reign of Edward the third in whose hand it is continued unto this day Qu. What four Countreys in England are those which are famoused for four principal qualities An. Staffordshire Darbyshire Cheshire and Lancashire Staffordshire for Beer and Bread Darbyshire for Wool and Lead Cheshire the Chief of Men And Lancashire for fair Women Qu What place in England is accounted most safe in the time of War according as we find it proverbially said An. When as wars are aloft Safe is he that 's at Christ's Croft And where should this Christ's Croft be But betwixt Rible and Mersie Qu. What may be said of these four Latine words Quid Puer Quid Senex An. Take away the first letter from Puer or a Boy and there remains Ver which signifieth the Spring Take two first letters from Senex for an old man and there remaineth Nex which signifieth death and thus are both their natures expressed in both their Names Ver. Nex Ver is the Spring most fragrant fresh and gay Nex is the Night that doth conclude lifes day Qu. What may we think of such as are Jesters to Noblemen or Princes or such as are Jaok-puddings on Mountebanks stages An. That a fool cannot perform the place and none but Fools will undertake it Qu. What Book do not married men love to learn in An. The Horn-book Qu. What be the three properties belonging to a Whore An. Nimble of her hand quick of her tongue and light of her tayl Qu. Whether are Whores or Thieves most prejudicial to a Common-wealth An. Whores by far for Thieves do only steal and purloyn from men and the harm they do is to embellish mens goods and bring them to poverty this is the only end of mens thieving and the prejudice that grows from robbing and filohing but if a man fall into the company of a Whore she flatters him she inveagles him she bewitcheth him that he spareth neither goods nor lands to content her that is onely in love with his coyn If he be married he forsakes his Wife leaves his Children despiseth his friends only to satisfie his lust with the love of a base whore who when he hath spent all upon her and he brought to beggery beateth him out like the prodigal Son and for a small reward brings him if to the fair'st end to beg if to the second to the Gallows or at the last and worst to the Pox or as prejudicial diseases Qu. What is the Art and cunning of a Whore An. Their eyes are Stauls and their hands Lime-twigs Cyrces had never more charms Calipso more inchantments nor the Syrens more subtile tunes than they have crafty sleights to inveagle young Cullies to their deceitful embraces Qu. Who were the most famous whores in former Ages An. Lais Thais Rhodope the Lady Rosamond Jane shore c. nor must we think our present age to be altogether free For thus the Poet on his word engages Whores are in this as well as former ages Qu. What is the Character of an honest Man An. That his Tongue is the Interpreter of his heart though now considering the hypocrisie and falshood of most men we may say with the Poet The tongue was once a servant to the heart And what it gave she freely did impart But now Hypocrisie is grown so strong She makes the heart a servant to the tongue Qu. What is that which of running becomes staid of soft becomes hard of weak becomes strong and of that which is infinite becomes but one An. Ice Qu. Who were the first that brought Tobacco into England An. It was first brought hither by the Mariners of Sir Francis Drake Anno 1585. but brought into more request and custom by Sir Walter Rawleigh who is reported to have taken two pipes thereof as he went to execution This Drug as it hath found many friends so hath it met with divers enemies who report it not only consumptive to the purse but that it impaireth the inward parts corrupteth the natural sweetness of the breath stupifieth the brain and is so prejudicial to the general esteem of our Countrey-men that one saith of them Anglorum corpora qui huic
alike An. In the Grave which shade Diogenes to say being searching in the Charnelhouse amongst the dead skuls that he could find no difference betwixt the skull of King Philip and another mans All in the Grave alike are made The Scepter and the Sithe and Spade Qu. What would become of a great sort of men if every one were served in their kind An. A number of Tailors would be damn'd for keeping a Hell under their Shop-board many Broakers would make their Wills'at Tiburn if the searching for stolen Goods which they have received should like a plague but once come amongst them Two parts of of the Land should be whpped at Bridewel for Leachery and three parts be set in the stocks for drunkenness Qu. Wherein hath the Beggar a priviledge over great persons An. In that he cannot fall lower than he is whereas the great man is subject to that of the Poet In ways to greatness think on this That slipp'ry all Ambition is Qu. What was the dyet of former ages in those days which were called the Golden Age of the world An. They catcht not their surfeits with eating of Capon Partridge and Pheasant their dyet was Apples Roots Nuts Dates ●igs c. and sometimes for rarities Butter Cheese and Eggs and for drink instead of Sack Claret Muscadine Ippocrass Mum Beer or Ale their beverage was the cool streams distilling from some uncorrupted Fountain a description whereof we have in the eighth Book of Ovids Metamorphosis concerning the entertainment which Philemon and Bancis gave to Jupiter and Mercury Ponitur hic bicolor sincerae bacca Minervae Intibaque radix lactis massa coacti Ovaque non acri leviter versata familla Prunaque in patulis redolentia mala camestris Hic nux hic mixta est rugosis carica palmis Et de purpureis collectae vitibus uvae Omnes fictilibus nitidae They on the table set Minerva's fruit The double colour'd Olive Endive root Radish and Cheese and to the Board there came A dish of Eggs rare roasted by the flame Next they had Nuts course dates and Lenten Figs And Apples from a basket made of twigs And Plums and Grapes cut newly from the Tree All serv'd in Earthen dishes Houswifely Qu. What passion is most natural unto Man An. Love which entereth in at the eyes and pierceth the heart many setling their loves on such objects for which they can give no reason Qu. Whether is Love the cause of likeness or likeness the cause of love An. Both. Qu. What creatures are those some living and some dead that rule all the world An. The Sheep the Goose and the Bee for the Sheep yields Parchment the Goose Quils to write it and the laborious Bee brings Wax to seal it as one hath wittily deliver'd in these verses The Bee the Goose the Sheep Do so maintain the might Of Monarchs Kings and States That wrong suppress not right The Bee brings sealing Wax The Goose our writing Quils The Sheep his Parchment coat or skin For Deeds and dead mens Wills Qu. What is the general saying concerning the Italian women An. That they are Mag-pies at the door Saints in the Church Goats in the Garden Devils in the House Angels in the Streets and Syrens in the Windows Qu. What Passion is most prevailing over the nature of man An. Fear of which we read that it hath in one night turned the hair of the head from black to white but most memorable is that example of one who was pretended to be let blood to death for being blinded and his arms bound the Chyrurgions that were about him only saying How bravery he bleeds on his arm How gallantly on that although they did nothing to him at last one saying Now the blood comes from his very heart when they came to unblind him they found him liveless struck stark dead with a panick fear Qu. Why is man called Microcosmus or the little world An. As being the Epitome of the great Volume of Nature borrowing from the Angels soul from the brute Animals sense from Plants life from other creatures bigness but above all inferiors is endued with that prerogative of casting up his eyes to Heaven to behold the excellencies of the Creation wherein other Creatures are deficient Pronaque cum spectent anim alia caetera terram Os homini sublime dedit coelumque videre Jussit erectos ad sydera tollere vultus And where all beasts look with grovelling eye He gave to man looks mixt with Majesty And will'd him with bold face to view the Skie Qu. What Art is that which makes use of the vilest things in the world An. Physick which makes use of Scorpions Flies Wasps Serpents Ear-wiggs Toads and such like nothing though to our apprehension never so seeming vile but serves to some use according to that of the Poet There 's nought so vile that on the Earth doth live But to the earth some special good doth give Nor ought so good but strain'd from that fair use Revolts from virtue stumbling on abuse Virtue it self turns Vice being mis-apply'd And Vice sometimes by action 's dignifi'd Qu. Whether is the life of a rich covetous Citizen that swims in wealth and treasure caring for none nor beloved of any or the lives of a Countrey Yeoman or Farmer who lives in a mediocrity betwixt poverty and riches yet content with his estate which of these two is first to be preferred An. Better it is in the solitary woods and in the wild fields to be a man among beasts than in the midst of a peopled City to be a beast among men In the homely village art thou more safe than in a fortified Castle the stings of Envy nor the bullets of Treason are never shot through those thin wal Sound Healths are drunk out of the wooden dish when the Cup of Gold boyls over with poyson The Countrey cottage is neither batter'd down by the Cannon in the time of War nor pestered with clamorous Suits in time of Peace The fall of Cedars that tumble from the tops of Kingdoms the ruine of great Houses that bury families in their overthrow and the noise of shipwrack that beget even shricks in the hearts of Cities never send their terrors thither that place stands as safe from the shock of such violent storms as the Bay-tree does from lightening Qu. Who are the subjects that pay tribute to the Countrey Farmer An. The Meadow gives him her pasture the Trees pay custom with their fruit the Plough sends him in Corn the Ox bestows upon him his labor and the Sheep cloathes him with his wool Qu. How came the famous Poet Buchanan off when travelling into Italy he was for the freeness of his writing suspected of his Religion and taken hold of by some of the Popes Inquisitors An. By writing to his Holiness this Distich Laus tua non tua fraus virtus non copia rererum Scandere te fecit hoc decus eximium
Earldoms of Guyen and Poictou by Elbiner his wife and a great part of Ireland by conquest towards the latter end of his Reign he was much troubled with the unnatural Rebellion of his Sons He dyed the sixth day of July Anno 1189. and Reigned twenty four years and seven months lacking eleven days Richard the first for his valor and magnanimous courage sirnamed Coeur de Lion he with a most puissant Army warred in the Holy-Land where by his acts he made his name very famous overcoming the Turks in several Battels whom he had almost driven out of Syria he also took the Isle of Cyprus which he afterwards exchanged for the Title of King of Jerusalem after many worthy atchievements performed in those Eastern parts returning homewards to defend Normandy and Aquitain against the French he was by a Tempest cast upon the Coast of Austria where he was taken prisoner and put to a most grievous Ransom finally he was slain at the siege of Chaluz in France by a shot from an Arbalist the use of which warlike Engine he first shewed to the French whereupon a French Poet made these Verses in the person of Antropos Hoc volo non alia Richardum marte perire Ut qui Francigenis Balistae primitus usum Tradidit ipse sui rem primitus experiatur Quamque aliis docuit in se enim sentiat artis It is decreed thus must great Richard die As he that first did teach the French to dart An Arbalist 't is just he first should try The strength and taste the Fruits of his own Art In his days lived those Outlaws Robin Hood Little John c. King John next succeeded or rather usurped the Crown his eldest Brothers Son Arthur of Britain being then living He was an unnatural Son to his Father and an undutiful subject to his Brother neither sped he better in his own Reign the French having almost gotten his Kingdom from him who on the Popes curse came to subdue it with whom joyned many of his Subjects by which the Land was brought to much misery Finally after a base submission to the Popes Legat he was poysoned by a Monk at Sw●nested-Abby after he had reigned seventeen years and five months lacking eight days and lyeth buried at Worcester Henry the third Son to King John against whom the rebellious Barons strongly warred yet however he expelled the intruding French out of England confirmed the Statutes of Magna Charta and having reigned fifty six years and twenty eight days was buried at Westminster of which Church he built a great part Edward the first sirnamed Long-shanks who warred in the Holy-Land where he was at the time of his Fathers death a most Heroick magnanimous Prince he awed France subdued Wales and brought Scotland into subjection disposing of the Crown thereof according to his pleasure he brought from thence the Regal Chair still reserved in Westminster-Abby he was a right vertuous and fortunate Prince Reigned thirty four years seven months and odd days and lyeth buried at Westminster Edward the second a most dissolute Prince hated of his Nobles and contemned by the vulgar for his immeasurable love to Pierce Gaveston and the two Spencers on whom he bestowed most of what his Father had purchased with his Sword as one writeth in these Verses Did Longshanks purchase with his conquering hand Albania Gascoyn Cambria Ireland That young Carnarvon his unhappy Son Should give away all that his Father won He having Reigned nineteen years six months and odd days was deposed and Edward his eldest Son Crowned King Edward the third that true pattern of vertue and valor was like a rose out of a Bryar an excellent Son of an evil Father he brought the Scots again to a formal obedience who had gained much on the English in his Fathers life time laid claim to the Crown of France in right of his Mother and in pursuance of his Title gave the French two great overthrows taking their King prisoner with divers others of the chief Nobility he took also that strong and almost impregnable Town of Callice with many other fair possessions in that Kingdom Reigned fifty years four months and odd days and was buried at Westminster Richard the second Son to Edward the black Prince the eldest Son of King Edward the third an ungovern'd and dissolute King He rejected the sage advice of his Grave Counsellors was most ruled by his own self-will'd passions lost what his Father and Grand-father had gained and at last his own life to the Lancastrian faction in his time was that famous or rather infamous rebellion of Wat Taylor and Jack Straw He having Reigned twenty two years three months and odd days was deposed and murdered at Pomfret Castle Henry the fourth Son to John of Gaunt Duke of Lancaster third Son to Edward the third obtained the Crown more by force than by lawful succession he was a wise prudent Prince but having gotten the Crown unjustly was much troubled with insurrection of of the subjects which he having quieted surrendred to fate having reigned thirteen years six months and odd days and was buried at Canterbury Henry the fifth who from a dissolute vicious Prince became the mirror of Kings and pattern of all Heroick performance he pursued his Title to the Crown of France bear the French at Agin Court and was in a Parliament of their Nobility Clergy and Commons ordained Heir apparent to the French Crown but lived not to possess it dying in the full carrier of his victories at Vincent Boys in France and was brought over into England and buried at Westminster He Reigned nine years five months and odd days Henry the sixth sirnamed of Windsor his birth-place of whom it was prophesied that What Henry of Monmouth had won which was his Father Henry of Windsor should lose He was a very pious Prince and upheld his State during the life of his Unkles John Duke of Bedford and Humphrey of Glocester after whose deaths the Nobility growing factious he not only lost France to the French but England and his life to the Yorkish faction He having reigned thirty eight years was overthrown by Edward Earl of March descended by the Mothers side from Lionel Duke of Clarence second Son to King Edward the third was arrested and sent to the Tower where within a while after he was murdered and buried at Cherlsey since removed to Windsor Edward the fourth a prudent politick Prince He after nine bloody Battels especially that of Tawton in which were slain of the English thirty six thousand on both sides was at last quietly seated in his dominions of England and Ireland Reigned twenty two years one month and odd days and was buried at Windsor Edward the fifth his Son a King proclaimed but before his Coronation was murdered in the Tower Richard the third brother to Edward the fourth was Crowned King ascending to the same by steps of blood murdering King Henry the sixth and Prince Edward his Son 3.
a good Watch kept in Moor-Fields On the Hangman ONe hearing that the Hang-man was forced to noose up the Vintners Boy at Ratcliff-Cross twice before he was quite dead said that he thought the Hang-man thereby had so much discredited his place that after his death an honest man would scarcely accept of it On a drunken Husband A Fellow that was drunken fell a beating of his wife telling her of many faults that she had committed to which she answered you tell me of a great many crimes but you will not stand to a word of what you speak A Country-man and Constable A Simple Country-man having Term-business in London and being somewhat late abroad in the night was staid by a Constable ●nd somewhat hardly entreated the poor man observing how imperiously he commanded him asked him what he was to which he replyed I am the Constable and this is my Watch and I pray you Sir said the man for whom do you watch the Constable replyed ● watch for the King for the King said the Countryman simply then you may let me pass quietly home to my Lodging for I can give you a Certificate from some of my Neighbors who are now in Town that I am not the King but Gaffer Jobson of Darby-shire The Reversion of a house ONe came bragging from the Court of Aldermen overjoy'd with the obtaining of a Suit for saith he they have promised me the Lease of the next House that falls To whom one standing by replied but had it been my case I should rather have petition'd for a House that had stood The Thiefs Destiny A Fellow being tryed for his life before a Judge alleadged for himself that he could not avoid it because it was his destiny that he should steal If so said the Judge then know also It is your destiny to be hanged A Spaniard whipt A Spanish Cavaleiro being for some faults by him committed whipped through the principal streets of Paris and keeping a sober pace was advis'd by a friend to make more haste that he might the sooner be ou● of his pain but he half in choler replyed That he would not loose the least step of his pace for all the Whipping in Paris The distressed Mariner A Mariner in a great storm prayed devoutly to the Virgin Mary promising her that if she would deliver them from that danger when he came on shore he would offer at her Altar a Candle as big as the Main Mast of his Ship which when one of h●● Companions over-heard he jogged him o● the elbow telling him it was impossible to be done Tush said he we must now speak h● fair because we are in trouble but if I get safe ●● shore I will make her be content with one of si● in the pound Lame Verses ONe was telling his friend of some Verses which he made as he was riding upon the Road on a trotting Horse to whom the other answered Nay if you had not told me I should have known by your verses what pace your Horse went A Medicine for the Tooth ache A Gentleman and a Gentlewoman sate together talking which Gentleman had a great pain in one of his teeth and said thus Mistriss I have a tooth in my head that grieveth me sore I would it were in your tail to whom she answered in faith Sir if your tooth were in my tail it could do but little good but if there be any thing in my tail that can do your tooth good I would it were in it The Countrey-fellow and Doctor A Country-fellow was sent with his Fathers urine to the Doctors and knocking at the door the Physitian opening unto him he presented him the Urinal who as he took it from his hand asked him withal from whence he came to whom the fellow made answer I hope your Worship is wise enough to find that in the water The Countrey-fellow and Judge A Countrey-fellow was sub-poena'd for a witness upon a Tryal of an action of defamation at a quarter Sessions holden in the country he being sworn the Judge bid him to say the very same words that he heard spoken the fellow was loth to speak and hum'd and haw'd for a good space but being urged by the Judge he at last spake My Lord said he you are a Rogue The Judge seeing the people begin the laugh called to him and bid him speak to the Jury for there were twelve of them A Lame Horse UPon a Fryday in Smithfield one willing to put off a lame Horse and therefore not willing to have him rid had tyed him by the Bridle to the Rails a Chapman liking the Nagg came somewhat near the price because the Seller warranted him sound of wind and limb but before he would part with his mony desirous to see what mettal he had he rid him upon the stones and perceived the poor Jade to halt down right at which the Chapman vexing asked the other if he was not ashamed to put a lame unserviceable Jade upon him and warrant him sound To whom the other answered I assure you he is as sound as any Horse in England but that it was your fortune to try him when his foot was asleep The Unthrift and his Sweet-heart A Fellow that was a great Spend-thrift told his Sweet-heart that he loved her like any thing what thing do you mean said she Any thing Sweet-heart quoth he what you please Then replyed she do not love me like mony for then I am sure you will not keep me POEMS A farewel to folly by Sir Kenelm Digby FArewel ye gilded follies pleasing troubles Farewel ye honor'd rags ye chrystal bubles Fame's but a hallow eccho Gold poor clay Honor the darling but of one short day Beauties chief Idol but a damask Skin State but a Golden Prison to live in And torture free-born minds imbroyder'd Trains But goodly Pageants proudly swelling veins And blood ally'd to greatness is but loan Inherited not purchas'd nor our own Fame Riches Honor Beauty Gold Trains Birth Are but the fading blessings of the earth I would be rich but see man too unkind Digs in the bowels of the richest mine I would be great but yet the Sun doth still Level his beams against the rising Hill I would be fair but see the Champion proud The worlds fair eye oft setting in a Cloud I would be wise but that the Fox I see Suspected guilty when the Fox is free I would be poor but see the humble Grass Trampled upon by each unworthy Ass Rich hated wise suspected scorn'd if poor Great fear'd fair tempted high still envied more Would the world then adopt me for her heir Would Beauties Queen entitle me the fair Fame speaks me Honors Minion and could I With Indian Angels and a speaking eye Command bare heads bow'd knees strike Justice dumb As well as blind as lame and give a tongue To stones by Epitaphs be call'd great Master In the loose lines of every Poetaster Could I be more than any man
found ●n our Isles of Britain An. In the Isle of Man are found at this day certain Trees of Timber and other Wood in great abundance many fathoms under the ground which were thought to be brought thither and 〈◊〉 in Noahs flood and not discovered till of late years At Barry Island in Glamorgan-shire upon ● Clift or Hole of a Rock laying your ear unto it you may hear sometimes as it were ●he noise of blowing the Bellows others of Smiths striking at the Anvil sometimes ●iling clashing of Armour and the like this ●s said to be by inchantment by the great Merlin who bound certain Spirits to work here in making of Armour for Aurelius Am●rosius and his Britains until his return but he being killed they by the force of his harm are constrained to labour there still Qu. By how many several Nations hath this Land been inhabited An. The first Inhabitants hereof were the Britains whose off-spring at this day is the Welsh our seeming ancient Historians de●ive them from the Trojans who came hither under the conduct of one Brutus but this by Mr. Cambden and our late Antiquaries is rejected as a fable who by many unanswerable arguments prove them to be descended from the Gauls they were questionless a warlike Nation and stoutly with stood the Romans in their invasion of them being at last more over come by the treachery o● Androge●s and others than by the Roman puissance The next were the Romans who entered the Island under the conduct of Julius Casar some few years before the birth of our Savior It continued a Roman Province till after the year 400 when Proconsul Aetite taking with him away the Legoniary Soldiers to defend Gallia from the Franks and Burgundians left South Britain a prey to the Scots and Picts quitting our Island of themselves to defend those Provinces nearer home The third Nation were the Saxons a people of Germany called in by Vortiger Kin● of the Britains in aid against the Scots and Picts who then over-run this Island bu● these Guests soon become their Masters wh● under the leading of Hengist and Horsus ● planted themselves in this Island that the n●tive Inhabitants could never recover it from them These Saxons came not in all at once b● at seven several times each under their Le●ders gaining a part from our Brittish Monarchy till at last they ingrossed the who● to themselves then was England divide● into a Heptarchy or seven several Kingdom all which were united into one by Egb● King of the West-Saxons who was the first English Monarch The fourth people were the Danes who made violent irruptions in this Island under the Reign of King Ethelred the Saxon and so far they prevailed that he was contented to pay them the yearly Tribute of 10000 pounds which at last they enhanced to 48000 pounds This Tyranny Ethelred not able to endure warily writ to his Subjects to kill all the Danes as they slept on St Brices night being the 12. of November which being executed accordingly Swain King of Denmark came with a Navy of three hundred and fifty sail into England drove Ethelred over into Normandy and tyrannized over the English with a very high hand every English house maintaining one Dane whom they called Lord who living idly and receiving all the profit of the English labours gave occasion to after-ages when they saw an idle fellow to call him a Lurdan And so imperious were they that if an English man and a Dane had met on a Bridge the English man must have gone back and stayed till the Dane had come over They used also when the English drank to stab them or cut their throats to avoid which villany the party then drinking used to request some of the next sitters by to be his surety or pledge whilst he paid Nature her due and hence have we our usual custom of pledging one another finally after the Reign of three Kings the English threw off their yoke and the Saxons were re-inthronized The fifth Conquest thereof was by William Duke of Normandy Anno 1066. who with a strong Army entred the Land flew King Herald and with him 66654 of his English Soldiers Somewhat before that time was a great Comet which portended as it was thought this change of Government of which one wrote thus A thousand six and sixty year It is as we do read Since that a Comet did appear And English men lay dead Of Normandy Duke William then To England ward did sail Who conquer'd Harold and his men And brought this Land to bale A brief Epitome or Chronical-discourse of the Kings of England since the Norman Conquest VVIlliam the First sirnamed Conqueror bastard Son to Robert Duke of Normandy who having conquer'd the Country used such policies as utterly disheartened the English from hopes of better fortune who thereupon yielded to him and he having for twenty two years ruled or rather tyrannized over the English Nation dyed and was buried at Cane in Normandy William the second sirnamed Rufus the second son of the Conqueror took the Crown upon him his eldest Brother Robert being then busie in the Holy-Land who when the Christians had conquered Jerusalem chose him King thereof but he hoping for the Crown of England refused it but his brother William taking possession in his absence stoutly defended his Title brought Duke Robert to composition and having reigned twelve years and eleven months wanting eight days he at last hunting in the new Forrest was by the glance of an arrow shot by Sir Walter Tirrel struck in the breast whereof he immediately dyed and was buried at Winchester Anno 1100. Henry the first the youngest Son of the Conqueror yet too old for his brother Robert in policy took the advantage of time and stept into his Throne in his absence against whom he warring was by him taken and had his eyes put out this Henry was for his learning sirnamed Beauclark he reduced the measures of England to that proportion which we now call an Ell he left behind him only one Daughter reigned thirty five years and lieth buried at Reading Stephen Earl of Blois Son to Alire Daughter to the Conqueror usurped the Crown he was a man of Noble parts and hardy passing comely of favor and personage he excelled in martial policy gentleness and liberality towards men to purchase the peoples love he released them of the tribute called Darn-gelt he had continual War against Maud the Empress and after a troublesome Reign of eighteen years ten months and odd days he dyed and lieth buried at Font Everard Henry the Second Son to Maud the Empress Daughter to Henry the first and to Maud Daughter to Malcolm King of Scotland and Margaret Sister to Edgar Etheling by which means the Saxon blood was restor'd to the Crown This Henry was a most magnanimous Prince and by his fathers inheritance added many of the French Provinces to the English Crown as also the Dutchy of Aquitain and the
George Duke of Clarence his own Brother with many faithful servants to King Edward 4. Edward the fifth his lawful Soveraign with Prince Richard his brother 5. Henry Duke of Buckingham his great friend and sixth one Collingborn an Esquire who was hang'd drawn and quartered for making this Verse The Cat the Rat and Lowel our Dog Rule all England under a Hog Finally having reigned two years and two months he was slain by Henry Earl of Richmond and buried at Grey Fryers Church at Leicester Henry the seventh who united the two Houses of York and Lancaster by marrying with Elizabeth the Daughter and Heir to Edward the fourth He was a Prince of marvellous Wisdom Policy Justice Temperance and Gravity and notwithstanding great troubles and wars which he had against home-bred Rebels he kept his Realm in right good order He builded the Chappel to Westminster-Abby a most accurate piece of Work wherein he was interred after he had reigned twenty three years and eight months Henry the eight who banished the Popes supremacy out of England won Bulloign from the French lived beloved and feared of his Neighbour Princes the last of our Kings whose name began with the Letter H. which Letter had been accounted strange and ominous every mutation in our State being as it were ushered in by it according as I find it thus versed in Albions England Not superstitiously I speak but H this Letter still Hath been accounted ominous to England's good or ill First Hercules Hesion and Helen were the cause Of war to Troy Aeneas seed becoming so Out-laws Humber the Hum with foreign Armes did first the Brutes invade Hellen to Romes Imperial Throne the British Crown convey'd Hengist and Horsus first did plant the Saxons in this Isle Hungar and Hubba first brought Danes that swayed here long while At Harold had the Saxons end at Hardy Cnute the Dane Henries the first and second did restore the English Reign Fourth Henry first for Lancaster did Englands Crown obtain Seventh Henry jarring Lancaster and York unites in peace Henry the eighth did happily Romes irreligion cease King Henry having Reigned thirty seven years nine months and odd days dyed and was buried at Windsor Edward the sixth a most vertuous religious Prince whose wisdom was above his years and whose piety was exemplary he perfected the Reformation begun by his father King Henry At the age of sixteen years he departed this life having Reigned six years five months and odd days and was buried at Westminster Mary his Sister whom King Henry begat of Katherine of Spain she restored again the Mass set at liberty those Bishops imprisoned in her brothers Reign and imprisoned those who would not embrace the Romish perswasion She was very zealous in the cause of the Pope for not yielding to which many godly Bishops and others of the Reformation suffered Mattyrdom In her time was Callice lost to the French the grief whereof it was thought brake her heart she Reigned five years four months and odd days and was buried at Westminster Elizabeth daughter to Henry the eighth by the Lady Ann of Bulloigne a most Heroick vertuous Lady she again banished the Popes power out of England reduced Religion to its primitive purity and refined the Coyns which were then much corrupt For the defence of her Kingdom she stored her Royal Navy with all warlike munition aided the Scots against the French the French Protestants against the Catholiques and both against the Spaniard whose invincible Armado as it was termed she overthrew in 88. Holland found her a fast friend against the force of Spain the Ocean it self was at her command and her name grew so redoubted that the Muscovite willingly entered into League with her She was famous for her Royal Government amongst the Turks Persians and Tartars which having endured forty four years five months and odd days she dyed being aged about seventy years and was buried at Westminster King James a Prince from his Cradle the sixth of that name in Scotland and the first in England He excelled for Learning and Religion a second Solomon in whose Reign during all the time thereof our Land was enriched with those two blessings of Peace and Plenty He died in a good old age notwithstanding the Treason of the Gowries and the Powder-plot Reigned twenty two years and three days and was buried at Westminster Charles the first Son to King James a most pious prudent vertuous Prince enriched with all excellencies both of mind and body He was by his own Subjects most barbarously murdered before his PallaceGate at Whitehall Jan. 30. An. 1648. after he had Reigned twenty three years ten months and 3 days Twit Papists now not with the Powder-plot This blacker deed will make the same forgot Charles the second the Heir of his Fathers vertues and Crown who having been long detained from his right by the prevailing sword of Rebels was miraculously restored to his Subjects and Kingdom May the 29. 1660. Who God grant long long long to Reign May they be all Rebels and Traitors reckon'd Who wish the least hurt unto Charles the Second Hereafter followeth the Histories of St Denis the Titulary Saint of France St. Romain and some others being after used in discourse for the Readers better information and delight according as we find it in the Legend of them SAint Denis is said to be the same Dionisius of Areopagita mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles who being converted himself ●hirsted after the conversion of others and ●o that end he with Rusticus and Elutherius ●ravelled into France then called Gauls where he converted many to Christianity and ●ecame the first Bishop of Paris making Rus●icus his Arch-Priest and Elutherius his Dea●on Afterwards in the Reign of Domitian the Emperor persecution growing hot Fes●ennius Governor of Paris commanded that ●e should bow before the Altar of Mercury and offer Sacrifice unto him which St. Denis with the other two beforenamed refusing to do they were all three of them condemned to be beheaded which was accordingly executed on Mont-Matre distant about a mile from Paris Now it came to pass that when the Executioner had smitten off Saint Denis his head that he caught it up between his Arms and ran with it down the Hill as fast as his legs could carry him half a mile from the place of his Execution he sate down and rested and so he did nine times in all till he came to the place where his Church is now built where he met with a very old woman whom he charged to bury him in that place and then fell down and died being three English miles from Mont-Matre and there he was buried together with Rusticus and Elutherius who were brought after him by the people Afterwards by the succeeding ages when Christianity had gotten the upper-hand of Paganism in the nine several places where he rested are erected so many handsome Crosses of stone all of a making To the memory of this Saint did