the peacâ— of thy chosen that I may rest in thee Let mâ— sleepe be like that of the Church that my heaâ—… may allways awake unto thee Cant 5 2. If this nightâ— this sleepe shall be my last Lord make it my best that I may awake in thine armes and live in thy bosome Ps 4.8 Let mee lay mee do wâ—… in peace and sleepe and doe thou Lord makâ— mee dwell in safety So be it ô my father for the merits and worthinesse of thy Sonne Iesus Christ my onely Lord and Saviour Amen part 2 The second part Of the Soliloquie Fitted for the time of lying downe in the bed THe advice of David to his enemies I take mee think's as spoken to my selfe where hee bid's them to Stand in awe Ps 4.4 and sinne not to commune with their owne hearts upon their beds and be still It is fitt that I likewise say my request with my mouth and my petition with my heart and pray upon my bed remember the day of death for ever I have meditated upon the Evening I have prayed for â—otection and since that I have disrobed â—…y selfe of the garments of the day But â—ith them have I put off mine offences 〈◊〉 doe not I intend to put them on againe 〈◊〉 morrow with the apparell of my body â—o this I am apt by nature from this ô my â—od deliver mee by thy grace My clothes â—e layed by and even now mee thought 〈◊〉 could skarce hasten soone enough to hide â—ee in my bed from mine owne sight of â—ine owne nakednesse Lord what a fearefull â—ing is a guiltie conscience which made Adam and Eve to see that they were naked Gen. 3.7 â—…d guilty of their folly and yet to make â—t figge-leav'd aprons to hide their shame â—hus doe I blush at my selfe and yet I have â—ely those figge leaves to hide my sinnes from â—e view of the world vers 8. But Adam and Eve â—…d themselves allso even from the presence of â—e Lord God So doe I endeavour likewise â—hen I am afraid to consider of or unwilling 〈◊〉 confesse unto him my manifold transgresâ—…ons My garments are off the emblems â—oth of my pride and my poverty for the â—ormer is discovered in the richnesse of my â—…bes and the latter in the necessity of them Thus doe wee simple sinners weare the very â—…wells of the wormes and the fleeces of the â—…nocent beastes in the time of the day for â—…odestie for heate and for ornament and in the night wee lye downe in the feathers of the fowles for our ease and our delight Here now I am layed here I am stretched out as if I were created onely for ease and repose But ô my drowzie eyes watch yee a litle and yee my thoughts ponder awhile upon the place where I am layed Such a bed as this hath beene a place of torment Ex 8.3 as well as ease when the river brought forth froggs aboundantly among the Egyptians which went up and came into their houses and into their bed-chambers yea and upon their very beds Lord how it make's mee startle but to name those loathsome creatures and yet these were they which were the Egyptians chamber-fellowes these were their cold and noysome bed-fellowes Even thus have I deserved to be plagued too as were those Egyptians for how often hath God by his Moses and his Aaron by his officers and his ministers commanded mee to let my Israel my soule goe serve the Lord and yet like hard hearted Pharaoh I have still refused But have I not a punishment for my rebellion worse then they had For they had but the loathsome vermine to torment their bodies but I have worse I have my ugly sinnes to torment my conscience which croake so in my bosome that I know not where to free my selfe from their hideous noise But since these froggs have lived in the waters and bred in the waters which became blood through the deepe dye of my hainous offences I will therfore doe as once Elisha the Prophet did by the waters of Iericho 2. King 2.21 Ps 38.18 Ex 12.31 vers 32 I will cast salt into the waters and heale them I will confesse my wickednesses and be sorrie for my sinnes I will dispatch mine Israelitesse and shee shall goe and serve the Lord her flocks allso and her heards my thoughts and my meditations shall goe and serve my God that they may blesse mee allso Then shall these crawling sinnes dye out of this house of my heart Ex 8.13.14 and I will gather them up together on heapes and drowne them in my teares because they have made such a stinke in the nostrills of my God Such a bed as this hath beene the grave such sheetes the winding sheetes of diverse persons who dreamed not of it 2. Sam. 4.7 When Ishbosheth lay on his bed in his bed-chamber the wicked trecherous Rechab and Baanah smote him and slew him and beheaded him 2. Chr 24.25 Ps 89.19 So did Zabad Iehozabad slay Ioash on his bed and hee dyed So it may happen unto mee too unlesse the Lord be my defender and the holy one of Israel my protectour Solomon hath forbid the companie of such Rechabs and Baanahs such Zabads and Ichozabads saying Prov. 4.14 vers 16 Enter not into the path of the wicked and goe not in the way of evill men For thy sleepe not except they have done misâ—hiefe and their sleepe is taken away unlesse they cause some to fall Yet I have entertained such in my society yea I have enticed them and hired them to the destruction even of my selfe My sinnes oh my sinnes are the murderers that are come unto my bed and without the mercy of him who destroyed death will bring mee 2. Pet. 2 3. even mee to destruction my damnation shall not slumber Such a bed as this 2. Sam. 13.5 hath beene the bed of incest when Amnon by the advice of Ionadab lay downe on his bed and made himselfe sicke that his sister Tamar might be sent unto him by his tender and compassionate father O what hellish plotts were invented for the satisfaction of the lust-sick adulterer Hee was but to counterfeit a sicknes who yet was wounded at the heart and shee who both by obedience to her father and love to her brother was ready to dresse the dish hee required was overcome at length by the scorching flames of his incestuous furie Heb. 13 4. That bed which is honourable in the state of mariage yet not unlesse it be kept undefiled was made the torment of a sister un wedded and hee who could not enjoy her by the rules of religion forced her to his appetite by the violence of his hands But as the act was fowle so the effect was revengfull yea and even the innocent suffered for the villanie of the rasisher in so much as Amnon hated her exceedingly 2. Sam. 13.15 so that
provoked him to wrath But what though in Eden hee was not heard but â—n the coole of the day Gen 18.1 I am sure that hee appeared to Abraham in the heate of the day aâ—â—hee sate in the tent doore in the plaines of Mamâ—re And so hee doeth to mee now too inwardly by his Spirit if I find his grace working in my soule a desire of his glorie I will therfore besiech him now while hee is with mee Ps 42.8 Ps 22.2 to command his loving kindnesse in this day time to visit mee that so I may not justly complaine with David O my God I cry in the day time and thou hearest not but rather that I may heare a Phinehas saying unto mee as once hee did to the children of Reuben Gad and Manasseh This day wee perceave Ios 22.31 that the Lord is among us Alasse poore Iacob how did hee endure the sweate and the burning of this time of the day Gen 31.40 In the day the drought consumed him and the frost in the night and his sleepe departed from him Assuredly in those fourteene yeeres which hee spent in the service of Laban for his two wives and in those sixe yeeres which hee served for the flocks and the cattell hee could not choose but loose a whole river of sweate that dropped from his face Lord how should every droppe of sweate that fall's from my browes put mee in mind of the fall of Adam which produced this punishment Gen 3.19 Yea how should my teares too out-vye my sweate when I consider the number of my fowle transgressions They oh they have so increased within mee that they enforce the sweate to fly to my face and in this heate of the day to tell mee of a punishment in the flames of the damned But there was once a day of deliverance of the Israelites from the Egyptian bondage Ex 13.3 and Moses commanded the people saying Remember this day And what day of my life hath not beene to mee a day of deliverance So many diseases and accidents assayle the body so many discontents the mind so many casualties and chances the estate yea and which is worst of all so many sinnes the soule that if I should attempt but once to number them I could not easily determine where to beginne Lord make mee this day remember thy deliverances in a gratefull manner and magnifie thee for thy mercies There will bee a day too a day of death but when it shall come God onely knoweth This for ought I know may prove the day Ould Ifaak tould his sonne Esau saying Gen 27.2 Behould now I am ould I know not the day of my death Neither indeede doe I know mine What know I to the contrarie but that anone at the table I may entertaine my death in a dish or a cup Lord make mee allways provided for thee and then at all times thou art well-come to mee But how shall I be sure to have my petition graunted and that God will afford mee such mercy as to save mee I reade of a day that was threatned to the Iewes even when the Chaldaeans should become their conquerours This the Lord fore-tould unto them when hee sayd Ioel 2.1 Blow yee the trumpet in Sion and sound an all-arme in my holy mountaine Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble for the day of the Lord cometh for it is nigh at hand A day of darknesse vers 2. and of gloominesse a day of clowdes and of thick darknesse as the morning spread upon the mountaines Their death was to approach by the sword of their enemies and their miseries to increase by the furie of their tormentours My death may be neerer hastening unto mee then was the destruction of the Iewes at the time of the prophesie and in what manner it shall come I cannot assure my selfe God is not confined to time or meanes otherwise then hee hath decreed himselfe This very day may happen to be mine and another day may be appointed for another Yea and my day too may prove a day of horrour for wicked I am and I reade what is spoken by the mouth of Iob Iob 21.30 The wicked is reserved to the day of destruction they shall be brought forth to the day of wrath I poore I am one of the wicked and have deserved the greatest severest judgments from the hand of the revenger O if this day should prove so terrible insteede of pampering my body with delightfull foode I might cry out with the Prophet Cursed be the day wherein I was borne Ior 20.14 let not the day wherein my mother bare mee be blessed But I have a better confidence in the mercies of my Redeemer Yet I cannot hope for mercy from him if I doe not expresse some mercy to my selfe The chiefest act of mercy to my selfe consisteth in a serious afflicting and tormenting of my selfe for my sinnes which would ruine mee With my teares I must therfore wash away my sinnes I must purge them with my teares I must cure the sinnes of mine eyes with the teares of mine eyes And yet since my teares are not free from pollution even those must be purified and made effectuall by the blood of the Lamb. The stomack is commonly prepared for meate by the blood of the grape Therfore before I will goe to my foode I will prepare my selfe with a glasse of wine but that wine shall be high and excellent it shall be the wine of Angells It shall have the savour of life in it it shall have the race of mercy in it the sweetenesse of reconciliation the heate of grace This wine shall be my teares a leane sower eager wine of it selfe but it shall be sugered by the hand of my Redeemer it shall be deepe drawne and well dashed with the blood of the innocent This is such as the Angells delight in This wine shall prove an excellent restorative it shall be even like blood yea it shall be blood it selfe even the blood of my drooping my wounded and my deiected soule This will exceede all the Frontiniak or the Greeke or the Palerma wines for the grapes thereof doe not grow upon the smooth and twisting branches of common vines but they grow like the rose upon a thornie bough and yeeld whole clusters of joy and content This wine hath such an in-bred vertue in it that it giveth courage to the drinker and that good effect I seriously hope it shall worke in mee For I must fight though I am but a woman I must fight and warre and combate with mine enemies with my corruptions Ios 10.13 I trust that hee who made the Sun stand still in the middest of heaven that it hasted not to goe downe about a whole day when the five Kings fought against Gibeon and all this onely at the prayer of Ioshua even hee will assist mee in this holy warre that I may destroy the Kings the greatest the
dyed shee vers 19 poore soule being greate with child when the storie of these sad accidents was related unto her bowed her selfe and fell in travaile for her paines came upon her yea at length when shee was delivered of her Ichabod vers 21 she gave up the ghost Thus the Priests fell by the sword Ps 78.64 and noe widow was left to make lamentation True it is that my affliction is greate in the death of my husband yea so greate that herewith the slanderous enemie of the Psalmist was severely cursed Ps 109.9 Let his children be fatherlesse and his wife a widow yet is it farre better to see him goe downe to the grave in peace then that hee should have lingered in continuall miserie Ier 22.12 Shallum the sonne of Iosiah King of Iudah was caried captive by an enemie into another land and dyed there which the Prophet confidering speaketh and saith vers 10 Weepe not for the dead neither bemoane him but weepe for him that goëth away for hee shall returne noe more nor see his native countrie This might have beene the portion allso of my beloved but since it was not though my losse be greate yet must not my sorrow be too greate Immoderate griefe for those that are dead was the practise of heathens it becometh not the children of God The Israelites were forbidden it even by God himselfe who saith unto them Lev 19 28. Deut 14.1 Yee shall not make any cutting in your flesh for the dead nor print any markes upon you I am the Lord. And againe Yee are the children of the Lord your God yee shall not cut your selves nor make any baldnesse betweene your eyes for the dead The Gentiles indeede at the death of friends were so trans-ported with sorrow that they cut themselves Ier 16.6 made themselves bald in the greatnesse of their lamentations They carved their flesh and marked themselves for idolatrie yea they allso cut their skinnes when a friend deceased and the wounds they filled up with either Stibium or inke or what colour they pleased which remained in the flesh when the skinne was growne over In all their sorrowes such kinds of inscisions were ordinarie testimonies of the griefe of their hearts Ier 41.5 Thus the fowre score men that came from Shechem from Shiloh and from Samariah had their beards shaven and their clothes rent and they had cut themselves and had offerings and incense in their hands to bring to the house of the Lord. Thus when the Priests of Baall did call on the name of their Idoll 1. King 18.28 they cryed alowd and cut themselves after their manner with knives and lancers 'till the blood gushed out upon them Yet though it was the practise of the Gentiles it may not be of Christians nor might it be of the Israëlites they therfore punished it with many stripes And just it was that when their violent hands had un-naturally beene stained with the blood of their owne bodies the hand of justice should draw blood in the punishment of such a cruell offence The Iewes might not cut themselves at the death of a friend noe though of a father because they were not fatherlesse while the Lord was their God The infidells indeede had noe share in the most high and therfore were fatherlesse when their sires deceased but it was not so with Israel nor is it so with mee I have a father which is in heaven Mat 6.9 to whom my husband is gone before mee I have a husband too which is in heaven even the same who was a husband to Iudah and Israël I have a head too which is in heaven Ier 31.32 even my Saviour Christ Eph 5.23 who is the head of the Church I have a brother too which is in heaven even my elder brother Iesus Christ Why then should I grieve that my husband is dead since hee is but gone to the place where my treasure is layed up Mat. 6.20 and where my immortall father and head and brother have crowned him with immortalitie My God hath taken him that I may know where to find him Whilest hee continued upon earth his imployments did often deprive mee of his societie but now is hee seated in a place of rest to which when I come wee shall never be seperated Whilest hee was here my affection unto him indeede was greate and that was my duety but yet I feare that I offended in the excesse Had I not loved him too much I should not be immoderate in my sorrow but even by these teares I am taught the sinfullnesse of my passion For this sinne therfore will I strive to weepe even for the trespasse of my weeping I should never have beene so offensively sensible of this my losse nor so vaine in my laments if I had allways remembred that hee was created mortall and had therfore trusted in him who is immortall If I doe love my God more then I did my husband I shall find both comfort and content in his mercy Lord how fraile and weake am I that I cannot discharge the debt of nature but I must bring in question the power of grace I cannot grieve for the death of my departed husband without discovering some diffidence some distrust in my God But I will pray unto the Lord to for give the excesse of my love to my deceased husband the excesse of my teares for the death of my husband and to convert these teares into dropps of sorrow for my hainous offences To him will I hasten to him will I speedily addresse my selfe and mournfully will I cry and begge and pray and say The Prayer FAther of mercies and God of all consolation Ioa 11.25 vers 26 thou who art the resurrection and the life in whom whosoëver believeth shall live though hee were dead and in whom whosoëver liveth and believeth shall not die eternally send downe thy grace into my sinfull soule that I may magnifie thy name for delivering thy servant from the miseries of this life and for inthroning him in the celestiall â—erusalem where I doubt not but hee reigneth Thou knewest his sufferances and the sharpenesse of his sicknesse in mercy didst release him of his miserie to crowne him with glory Thy favours were infinite in his spirituall comforts when his body languished through the extreamitie of his disease By thy scourge thou taughtest him how thou abhorrest sinne yet I doubt not but thou hast freed him from the torments of hell through the sufferances of thy Sonne For thy goodnesse to him thy name be glorified and I humbly besiech thee to extend thy mercy likewise unto her who honoureth thee for it Thou knowest Lord the distresse of my soule for want of him whom thou hast taken from mee Thou seest mine affliction and thou numberest my teares O be gratious unto mee thine unworthy servant and send mee comfort in the midst of these sorrows Give mee grace
him who is emnipotent Hee did worke many wonders by his Apostles Act 19 11. even upon the living and speciall miracles by the hand of Saint Paul vers 12 so that from his body were brought unto the sick handkercheifs or aprons the diseases departed from them the evill spirits went out of them And hee who wrought cure of the people without meanes can give such a blessing to the meanes that I may thereby be restored againe many diseases my Redeemer himselfe did cure while hee was upon earth It is true that hee is now not here in the flesh hee is ascended into heaven But what of that Though his humanitie be there yet his divinitie is every where I will therfore submit to his pleasure and I will hope for my health While hee was upon earth hee delighted in cures and his mercie remaineth still the same readily will I therfore submit to his pleasure Mar. 2.3 Once was a man so weake with the palsie that hee was borne by fower vers 4. and when by reason of the preasse they could not come neere the doores of the house where my Saviour was they un-covered the roofe and let him downe in his bed When Iesus saw their faith vers 5. hee said unto the sick of the palsie Sonne thy sinnes be forgiven thee Mat 8.14 When Peter's wive's mother was sick of a feaver vers 15 my Saviour did but onely touch her hand and the feaver left her and shee arose and ministred unto them c. 4.24 The people brought unto him all sick folke that were taken with diverse diseases and torments and those that were possessed with devills and those that were lunatick and those that had the palsy and hee healed them It is hee alone that can heale and therfore to him alone will I pray that I may be healed Were my disease as ould as my body my body as ancient as time it selfe yet hee that can remit my sinnes can restore my health But my disease is not so ancient and therfore the cure doeth not seeme to be so hard Suppose that I have languished a moneth a quarter a whole yeare What if three What if sixe What if a dozen yeares It exceedeth not either his power Mat. 9.20 or skill to make mee whole Hee cured a woman who for twelve yeares together had beene diseased of an issue of blood in her body Mar 5.26 Shee poore woman had suffered many things of many physitians and had spent al that shee had and yet was nothing bettered but rather grew worse Thus despairing of any helpe from man shee addressed herselfe to him who is both God and man To him that cure was so easie that shee did but onely touch the hemme of his garment strait way the fountaine of her blood was dryed up vers 29 and shee felt in her body that shee was healed of that plague There was a miracle indeede that with the touch of a garment the disease should be cured If such power did lye in the hemne of his garment what vertue must I needes believe did lie in his body But what comfort can I receave from this which I reade when I know that that body is ascended into heaven Fond woman as I am why doe I thus waver Though his flesh be from mee yet his spirit is with mee Yea and his flesh and his blood is offered still unto Christians upon earth Hee giveth not onely his garment to touch but allso his flesh and that not to touch onely but even to eate to seede upon in the blessed sacrament That woman was cured by the touch of his garment and shall not I hope for his mercy who feede upon his flesh and blood in the Eucharist Yes yes I must I will believe that hee for his owne sake will remitt my sinnes and that if it may advantage the glory of his name hee â—an and may recover my health Yet all this while I thinke but of a disease of twelve yeares standing What if I had beene sick for eighteene yeares together Might I therfore despaire of his power Noe noe I might not I durst not Lu 13.11 Doe not I reade of a woman who had a spirit of insirmitie eighteene yeares and was bowed together and could in noe wise lift up herselfe A disease shee had which in effect was not alltogether unlike unto mine for I stoope too and am allmost bowed together through the weakenesse and infirmitie of my body and cannot lift up my selfe but am enforced to require the aide of my friends and attendance to raise mee and to support mee Yet I reade that when Iesus saw her vers 12 hee called her unto him and said unto her Woman thou art loosed from thine infirmitie vers 13 And hee layd his hands on her and immediately shee was made straite and glorified God It may be his pleasure to speake such comfort allso unto mee for I have not beene sick so many yeares as was shee and I seeke my Saviour which shee did not allthough I must acknowledge it is his grace which worketh in mee this my seeking of him yea and I begge the cure whereas shee was asked if shee would be cured Why then should I not hope that hee will lay his hands upon mee and make mee straite and restore mee whole as hee did that woman that I may glorifie him for it But suppose that my disease had continued above twentie yeares suppose above thirtie should the long continuance make mee determine the cure impossible Nothing lesse for I reade that a certaine man was at the poole of Bethesda Io. 5.5 who had an infirmitie thirtie and eight yeares vers 6. and when my Iesus sam him lye there and knew that hee had beene now a long time in that case hee said unto him Wilt thou be whole vers 7. The impotent man answered him Sir I have noe man when the water is troubled to put mee into the poole but while I am coming another steppeth downe before mee vers 8. vers 9. Iesus saith unto him Rise take up thy bed and walke and immediately the man was made whole and tooke up his bed and walked Loe here is some comfort still thirtie and eight yeares continuance was nothing to Christ Hee who is eternall seeth all things at once and doeth all things without difficultie Surely that man was intended for a patterne of patience and that I might learne contentedly to suffer what my God shall lay upon mee Hee despaired not of health though his disease was inveterate but hee lay â—… the poole and expected still the hand of mercy â—o lift him into the water nothing doubting â—f the cure if hee could in due time but get â—…to the poole Nor may I despaire of what â—y God can doe but I must continue in my â—pplications enduring mine affliction with â—tience and referring all to his holy pleasure 〈◊〉 must
Ier 3.22 And this is hee to whom Israel replyeth and saith vers 23 Behold wee come unto thee for thou art the Lord our God Truely in vaine is salvation hoped for from the hills and from the multitude of mountaines truely the Lord our God is the salvation of Israel This is hee who promiseth unto Zion c 30.17 saying I will restore health unto thee and I will heale thee of thy wounds saith the Lord because they called thee an out-cast saying This is Zion whom no man seeketh after This is the same Lord to whom the people of Israel addressed themselves Hos 6.1 when they said Come let us returne unto the Lord for hee hath torne and hee will heale us hee hath smitten and hee will bind us up Since then my God hath cured both lands and waters and bodies and soules Since hee woundeth and hee healeth none can deliver out of his hand Since hee bringeth downe to the grave and bringeth up Since hee woundeth and his hands make whole Since it is hee onely who forgiveth all our iniquities healeth all our diseases and saveth our lives from destruction Since it is hee that bindeth up the breach of his people and healeth the stroake of their wound Since it was hee that promised to penitent Iudah that hee would restore comforts to him and to his mourners Since it is hee alone who is the salvation of Israël Since it is hee that promised unto Zion to restore health unto her and to heale her of her wounds I will resolve therfore with the people of Israel to returne unto him for hee hath torne mee and hee alone can heale mee hee hath smitten mee and hee alone can bind mee up To him to him will I humbly sue for the cure of my wounded and distressed soule and to him will I willingly submitt my weake and feeble body I will powre out my soule unto him I will send up my supplications unto him and will pray and say The Prayer GReate Creatour full of compassion who both sendest sicknesse and restorest health be thou graciously pleased I most humbly beseech thee to turne thy wrath from thy distressed servant Thy hand ô Lord is heavie upon mee in this languishing consumption and the sting of my transgressions pierceth mee with sharpe and grievous torments Yet I must confesse ô my God that my sufferances doe not any wayes equall mine offences nor can the paines which I endure satisfie thee mine offended Lord for the least of my transgressions O my sinnes are upon mee Eze 33.10 and I pine away in the punishment for them how then shall I live My body languisheth my flesh consumeth Ps 22.15 Ps 39.11 Iob 33 19. vers 20 and now am I very neere drawne unto the dust of death Thou with thy rebukes doest correct mee for mine iniquities thou makest my beautie to consume away like a moath I am chastened with paine upon my bed and the multitude of my bones with strong paine so that my life abhorreth bread and my soule the daintie meate that is to be desired vers 21 My flesh is consumed away that it cannot be seene and my bones that were not seene vers 22 stick out My soule draweth neere unto the grave and my life to the destroyers But yet I know that with thee ô God is compassion Mat 9.12 and tender mercies The whole have noe neede of the Physitian but such as I who am sick and in miserie O that it might be sayd of mee as it was by Mary concerning her brother Lazarus Io 11.3 even that Shee whom thou lovest is sick O my God make mee thy friend in heart and soule and graunt that I may expresse it in my dutifull obedience to all thy commandements and then be thou my friend in thy succour and reliefe Ps 41.1 vers 2. Deliver mee now in this time of trouble preserve mee and If it may be thy good pleasure keepe mee alive make mee blessed upon the earth and deliver mee not over into the hands of death vers 3. Lord strengthen mee upon this my bed of languishing make thou turne thou all my bed in my sicknesse Thou hast chastened mee sore Ps 118.18 Ps 116.8 vers 9. Ps 143.6 ô give mee not over unto death but deliver my soule from death mine eyes from teares and my feete from falling that I may walke before thee in the land of the living Vnto thee ô my God doe I stretch forth my hands my soule thirsteth for thee as a thirstie land vers 7. Heare mee speedily ô Lord my spirit faileth hide not thy face from mee for I am become like unto them that goe downe into the pit Thou hast promised by thine Apostle Iam 5.15 that the prayer of faith shall save the sick and that thou wilt raise him up Lord I pray unto thee strengthen thou my faith I am sick Lord raise thou mee up and make good unto mee that thy promise by thy holy Apostle Heale mee ô Lord Ier 17.14 and I shall be healed save mee and I shall be saved for thou art my praise O Lord I call upon thee Ps 141.1 hast thee unto mee consider my voyce now I cry unto thee and restore mee to health But howsoever if thou hast otherwise determined of mee ô my Iesus cleanse thou mee by thy blood and cure my soule by the merits of thy passion My sinnes I must confesse are the cause of my sicknesse but doe thou ô God Ps 44.22 blott out as a thick clowde my transgressions as a clowde my sinnes returne unto mee for thou hast redeemed mee O give mee patience in this time of adversitie give mee comfort in the examples of thy mercy and give mee assurance of thy love in the sanctifying of this sicknesse unto mee As my body doeth dayly draw neerer to the earth so make my soule allso dayly draw neerer unto heaven If it may be thy pleasure to restore mee to health againe ô let it be thy mercy allso to renew mine obedience But if thou art resolved by this disease to free mee from the labours of this wearisome world and to bring mee downe to my grave for thy Christs sake o my mercifull and indulgent father bring thou my soule into thy celestiall paradise O graunt that my sinnes may consume farre faster then doeth my flesh and as thou takest away the strength of my body so be pleased to adde unto the strength of my faith I am thine ô Saviour and cost thee deere even the very blood that issued from thy crucified body be thou allso mine ô Iesus both now and for ever Abate the temptations â—… Satan and arme mee with strength to resist his suggestions Ravish my soule with the love of thy selfe that so I may with willingnesse forsake the vanities of this world with readinesse lay downe this tabernacle of flesh and with comfort that my soule may
â—ever leave it 'till I have chased it away 'till 〈◊〉 have done my best to wash off the staine with my sorrowfull teares Gen 32 25. I will struggle with my God for the help of his grace and will not leave him untill hee assureth mee that my sinne is blotted out by the blood of the Lamb. For every offence that I can remember I will arise and goe to my father Lu. 15.18 with the teares standing in mine eyes and with dropps of blood falling from my heart in an earnest sharpe compunction In a loathing and detestation of my selfe for offending his Majestie I will humble my selfe and fall at his feete and with bashfullnesse and shame I will besiech him saying vers 18 vers 19 Father I have sinned against heaven and before thee and am noe more worthy to be called thy child make mee as one of thy hired servants I know hee will heare mee for so hee hath promised and sayd Call upon mee in the day of trouble Ps 50.15 I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorifie mee And when hee heareth I am sure hee will helpe too Ps 46.1 for hee is my refuge and strength a very present help in trouble And leave him I will not leave crying I will not leave weeping and begging I will not untill I find that heâ— espyeth mee comeing Lu 15.20 O now I blesse him I find that hee cometh to mee and armeth mee with this resolution I find that I am comeing unto him too by the small sparkes of graâ—… which warme my resolution But here I must not stay on I must follow him I will and never leave him untill hee takes compassion of mee and runne's and fall's upon my neck and kisseth mee vers 22 I will not leave following him untill hee bringeth forth the best robe even the robe of his Sonne 's righteousnesse putteth it upon mee I must have a ring too put upon my hand Rom 4 11. Lu 15. vers 23 a sealed ring even the seale of the righteousnesse of faith in the meritts of my Redeemer I must allso feede upon the fatted Calfe upon him who was sacrificed for my transgressions even the Sonne of his bosome who is fatt as it were and full of all divine vertues and abundance of grace able to satisfie for the sinns of the whole world I will feede upon him in the participation of the holy sacrament and communion of his owne most blessed body and blood vers 24 And when I eate I will be merry for through faith I shall have an assurance that hereafter I shall be entertained at the supper of the Lamb in the Kingdome of my God Reu 19 9. Thus my ômissions and thus my commissions thus mine infirmities and thus my presumptions shall be layed to his charge who is the Lamb of God that taketh away the sinnes of the world Io 1.29 Unto him I will acknowledg my sinnes Ps 32.5 and mine iniquities I will not hide I will confesse my transgressions unto the Lord and hee shall forgive the iniquitie of my sinnes when I say unto him with a sorrowfull Spirit Ps 41.4 Lord be mercifull unto mee heale my soule for I have sinned against thee When I have thus confessed Iob. 42 6. and abhorred my selfe in dust and asbes I will then resolve for the time to come by the grace of my God and I will promise that I will take heede to my wayes that I sinne not against him Ps 39.1 or not willingly or not continually or howsoever not impenitently Thus will I sweepe and sweeping I will weepe and weeping I will pray that for every uncleane spirit which hath dwelt in my soule I may now have this soule garnished with the divine and excellent graces of the Spirit of my God By faith I will come unto thee ô Christ and call thee my Iesus By hope I will come unto you ô yee blessed quire of Saints and Angells and with you I will sing those ravishing Halelujahs By charitie I will reconcile my selfe to my offended brother I will as much as in mee lyeth requite and satisfie my injured neighbour I will freely freely remit the injuries I have receaved certainly assuring my selfe that the offences which have beene offered mee though never so high in mine owne esteeme are not bad enough to be compared to the least trespasse which I have committed against my God And as I am taught by the rules of charitie I will not onely love my friends to which I am prompted both by nature and civility but mine enemies likewise I will love as I am commanded by God Yet lest I missetake in my charitie my God a bove all I will both love and obey and that for noe other cause but onely for himselfe Next and in order unto him I will love my neighbour as my selfe I will love the Lord for his power I will love God for his wisedome and I will love the Lord my God for his goodnesse I will love the Lord who created mee by his power I will love God who instructeth mee by his wisedome I will love the Lord my God who hath communicated his goodnesse to a creature so despicable I will not onely know my God but I will allso love him I will not onely feare him but I will allso love him I will not onely feare him as hee is an omnipotent Lord or honour him as hee is God but I will allso love him as hee is Mine Yea I will love him with all my heart because hee gave mee a Beeing at my creation I will love him with all my soule because hee preserveth mee in this my beeing I will love him with all my mind because hee hath created mee a new and given mee a well-being by regeneration and I will love him with all my strength because I know assuredly that hee will glorifie mee in the most excellent Beeing I will lore him with all my heart understandingly without errour I will love him with all my soule willingly without contradiction and I will love him with all my mind treasuring him up in my memorie without forgetfulnesse I will love him with all my heart wisely lest I be seduced by the suggestions of the devill I will love him with all my soule sweetely and delightfully lest I be tempted by allurements of the flesh and I will love him with all my strength couragiously lest I sinke under the pressures and heavy burdens of the world I will love him with all my heart for all my cogitations shall reflect upon him I will love him with all my soule for all my affections shall be directed to him and I will love him with all my mind for all my senses shall be obedient unto him I will love him with all my heart devoutly with all my soule discreetely and with all my Mind perseveringly And when thus I have endeavoured to love my God ' then next in
and leaned his hand on the wall and a serpent bitt him Wayling is in all our streetes vers 16 and wee sayâ— all the high wayes Alasse Alasse Wâ— call the husbandman to mourning and such are skillfull of lamentation to wailing vers 17 â—… all vineyards is wayling for the Lord doth pâ—… thorow us O that now at last wee wouâ— seriously lay this to our hearts vers 14 and seeh good and not evill that wee may live and so the Lord the God of hosts may be with us O that wee would once hate the evill vers 15 and love the good and establish judgment in the gate It may be that the Lord of hosts would be gracious unto the remnant of Ioseph But while wee remaine in our rebellions wee must looke to lye downe in our miseries as at this day Ps 79.2 The dead bodies of the servants of the most high are given to be meate unto the fowles of the heaven and the flesh of his saints unto the beasts of the earth vers 3. Their blood is shed like water round about the Kingdome and there are none to bury them Wee are become a reproach to our neighbours vers 4. a scorne and derision to them that are round about us vers 5. How long Lord wilt thou be angry for ever vers 8. Shall thy jealousie burne like fire O remember not against us our former iniquities let thy tender mercies speedily prevent us for wee are brought very love vers 9. Helpe us ô God of our salvation for the glory of thy name O deliver us Ps 125 3. and purge away our sinns for thy name's sake O let not the rod of the wicked 〈◊〉 upon the lot of the righteous lest the righteous 〈◊〉 forth their hands to iniquity Oh how our â—eres doe enforce us to flee to save our lives Ier 48.6 Prov 28.1 Gen 19 22. â—…ke us like the heath in the wildernesse â—…e sometimes flee when none pursueth us â—hen Sodome was destroyed Lot had a Zoar 〈◊〉 flee unto when Ierusalem was layed wast â—…ne of the inhabitants had a Pella to escape â—…to O that I now had wings like a dove Ps 55.6 〈◊〉 then would I flee away too and be at â—…st Lo then would I wander far off vers 7. and â—…maine in the wildernesse Ioel 2.11 for the day of the â—ord is greate and very verrible and who can â—ide it Hee is the true God Ier. 10.10 hee is the liâ—ing God and an everlasting King at his â—rath the earth doth tremble and the nation 〈◊〉 not able to abide his indignation Ye â—hat doe I talke of fleeing and wish for the â—vings of a dove that I might flee Alasse whither would I flee Can the mountaines â—…r the hills cover mee from the all-seeing Lord of hosts Ps 139.7 Whither shall I goe from his spirit or whither shall I flee from his presence If I ascend up to heaven hee is there If I make my bed in hell behold he is there allso vers 8. vers 9. vers 10 If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea even there shall his hand leade mee and his right hand shall hold mee If I say vers 11 surely the darknesse shall cover mee even the night shall be light about mee Yea vers 12 the darknesse hideth not from him but the night shineth as the day the dâ—…nesse and the light to him are both alike Wâ—… then shall I yet doe Abide his wrath I cannot endure these troubles vexatioâ—… and impoverishings and heart-breakings aâ—… soule-bleeding perturbations any longer I cannot and yet whither to goe or flee to shun and avoyd them I know not Well I am yet resolved what I will doe Yes 't is my onely way and doe it I must I will Since I cannot flee from God I will flee to God And yet I will flee from him from his wrath from his anger from his displeasure and for all that I will flee to him allso and to none but him to his mercy to his promises to his tender compassions which never faile I have displeased him with my sinns but I will displease my selfe for thus displeasing my kind my good my loving God I have moved the holy one of Israel to anger by mine iniquities But I will be angry with my selfe for moving him in whom I live Act 17 28. and move and have my being I will come unto him with teares mee thinks mine eyes already begin to water and I will cry unto him Iob. 34.28 Ps 65.2 for hee heareth the cry of the afflicted and I will pray unto him for hee is a god that heareth prayer and I will sigh unto him for he caused a marke to be set upon the fore-heads of those in Ierusalem who did sigh and cry for all the abominations which were done in the midst Ez 9.4 thereof Oh who can forbeare a shewer of teares that is but the least sensible of the stormes of our calamities Iud. 5.15 Who can choose but have greate thoughts of heart for these divisions of Reuben For my part surely my heart is not all stone some part of it at least is flesh and therefore it must needs be sensible both of the generall sufferances and of my particuler miserable condition Our Chirurgians have a stone composed by art which they call the infernall stone with which they stupifie and make dead the flesh where they intend to make an orifice for a fountenell or issue From my heart should issue a fountaine of sorrow for the cause of my God's displeasure and yet I am afraid mee thinks to have the orifice made I would be content to grieve but mee thinks I would not have it painfull I would doe it at cheape rates O but I must both grieve and I must be pained too yea I must be cut to the heart yet not as were the high Priest and the Counsell Act. 5.29 when Peter and Iohn tould them that they ought to obey God rather then men where upon they were cut to the heart and tooke counsell to slay them vers 33 c. 7.54 nor as they were cut to the heart when they gnashed with their teeth upon Stephen but I must howsoever be cut or at least I must be pricked at the heart as were Peter's converts c 2.37 when they said unto him and to the rest of the Apostles Men and brethren what shall wee doe Oh but I am afraid that I shall not be sensible enough for I feare that I have an infernall stone lying upon my heart which the devill layeth there purposely that I may not be sensible Well if thus it be I shall find it by the working by the tingling I am sure that God now doth a Thing in our Israel 1. Sam. 3.11 at which both the eares of every one that heareth
it doe tingle yea and mee think's not onely mine eares tingle but even my heart allso tingleth and trembleth at the same Well though that stone be there yet the inscision shall be made and howsoever I will desire that a paine I may endure If yet I am not sensible enough when the inscision is made I hope I shall have time enough to smart before the eskar be off Lord I desire that I may be sensible of the wounds of this land and that the blood which is shed in these violent times may be washed away by the teares of mee and other penitent sinners Or if blood requireth blood Lord let the wine and oyle of the best Samaritane let the blood of my mercifull Redeemer prevaile for pardon for the blood which is shed in these un-naturall warrs and let it stoppe the fountaine the current the issue thereof If my poore countrie was formerly troubled with a plurisie I am sure that now it useth the harsh meanes of phlebotomie for it is let blood in every part in the head the armes the leggs the feete yea and even in the very heart And yet for all this are there not some among us upon whose hearts the stupifying infernall stone is layd who are like unto Moab Ier. 48.11 who have beene at case from their youth and have setled upon their lees and have not beene emptyed from vessell to vessell nor have gone into captivitie and therfore their tast remaineth in them neither is their sent changed Are there not those among us that put farre away the evill day Amos. 6.3 vers 4. and cause the seate of violence to come neere That lie upon beds of ivory and stretch themselves upon their couches and eate the lambs out of the flock the calves out of the midst of the stall vers 5. That chaunt to the sound of the violl and invent to themselves instruments of musick vers 6. That drinke wine in bowles and annoint themselves with the chiese ointments but are not grieved for the afflictions of Ioseph Ierusalem was then surest of her destruction when she laughed and rejoyced in her surfeits and riotts my compassionate Iesus at the same time foreseeing her ruine mourned and wept over her Oh Luc. 19 41. mee thinks when I lay my hand upon my heart when I touch my heart I find it a stringed instrument and when I stoppe upon the fretts the lesson that it playeth is nothing but Lachrymae Yet I feare I weepe not so much as I should and I feare too that every one doth not weepe so much as I doe I feare there are still those among us Isa 49.26 who dilight to be fed with their owne flesh and to be drunke with their owne blood as with sweete wine What shall I say of such or how shall I pleade for them Have these workers of wickednesse noe knowledg Ps 14.4 who eate up the people as they eate bread and call not upon the Lord 2. Sam. 2.26 Lord shall their sword devoure for ever Know wee not that it will be bitternesse in the latter end How long shall it be then ere the people be bid returne from following their brethren The Lord hath said by the mouth of his servant David that he will abhorre the bloody Ps 5.6 Ps 55.23 and deceitfull man yea he saith that bloody and deceitfull men shall not live out halfe their dayes Ps 68.30 Ps 51.14 Ps 46.9 and that hee will skatter the people that delight in warre Deliver 〈◊〉 from blood-guilinesse ô God thou God of 〈◊〉 salvation O that my God would make these warrs to cease O that he would breake the bowes and cut the speares in sunder and burâ—… the chariots in the fire This I am sure heâ— and hee alone can doe Hee and hee onely is our refuge and strength vers 1. and a very present heâ—e in trouble This therfore that hee may doe I will imitate the Prophet Daniel and I will speake Dan. 9.20 and pray and confesse mine owne sinnt and the sinns of this people and present my supplication before the Lord my God and thus I will say The First Prayer wherein is set downe 1 Gods Iustice in punishing his owne people in former times 2 His Iustice allso in the present punishing us for our offences 3 An earnest supplication for our repentance and his forgivenesse O Righteous father thou who art righteous in all thy wayes Ps 145.17 and holy in all thy workes I thine unworthy creature in the very griefe of my heart and with a sad and bleeding soule cannot choose but sit downe and weepe Ps 13â— 1. vers 8. in the consideration of our poore Sion wasted with miseries Yet great and grievous though our afflictions are and the increase and growth which they may yet arise higher unto is all-together as unknowne to us as when the period and end of them shall be howsoever I must confesse thee to be a righteous God strong and patient And seeing all things are naked and open unto thee with whom wee have to doe I cannot choose but acknowledg here upon my bended knees before thine all-seeing majesty that the sinns oh the grievous the scandalous the out-ragious sinns of this nation have cryed for this vengeance Ps 51.4 that thou mayst be justifyed when thou speakest and be cleere now thou judgest I confesse ô Lord out of a sense of mine owne transgressions and consideration of the crimes of this people Is 59.12 that our transgressions are multiplyed before thee and our sinns testifie against us for our transgressions are with us and as for our iniquities I desire of thee Lord that wee may know them When thine owne deare people of Israel would not be reformed by terrour Lev. 26 16. vers 17 and consumption and the burning ague by their enemies eating that which they had sowed and reigning over them by their fleeing when none did pursue them by making their heaven iron their earth as brasse vers 18 by suffering them to spend their strength in vaine vers 19 and causing their land not to yeeld her increase nâ— the trees their fruite vers 22 by the wild beasts robbing them of their children by destroying their cattell and making them few in number and their high wayes desolate then didst thou threaten them vers 23 saying If yee will yet walke contrarie to mee then will I walke contrarie to you vers 24 vers 25 and will punish you yet seaven times for your sinns I will bring a sword upon you that shall avenge the quarrell of my covenant when yee are gathered together within your citties I will send the Pestilence among you Deut. 28.15 yee shall be delivered into the hand of the enemie Againe thou didst allso threaten them saying If thou wilt not hearken to the voyce of the Lord thy God to observe to doe all his