required of necessitie but of honestie at least because the power and authoritie of the parent though it be not taken away yet it is lessened when it is either transferred to another person or in part resteth in the child alreadie bestowed Secondly by parents consent I vnderstand that which they giue not rashly vnaduisedlie or foolishlie but out of good wise consideration and vpon true and sound iudgement of the businesse in hand For otherwise as much as in them lieth they make the mariage void and of none effect And they are then thought to carrie a right iudgement of the thing when they be able to yeeld a iust cause of yeelding or denying their consent For example if a father denies to bestow his daughter Iulia vpon Sempronius because hee knowes him to be an Arrian a Pelagian or of any other sort of Heretikes he withholdeth his consent vpon a good ground he doth that which he doth of iudgement Yet further I adde that where the parents do dissent and can yeeld no probable cause thereof the mariage consummate without their consent ought to be confirmed and ratified by the authoritie of the Magistrate who is Pater patriae And this seemes to be the most equall course both for the auoiding of greater scandals for the preuenting of wrong that may otherwise be done in some particular case as to a woman that is defloured and reiected Thirdly consent of parents is either expressed or implied Expressed when it is giuen by words Implied when it is yeelded by silence For it standeth with most equitie and indifferencie to thinke that those parents do giue consent who do not by word expresly denie the same Fourthly children are either subiect to the authoritie of their parents in the familie or at their owne libertie out of their parents subiection Those that are at liberty are tied necessarily to subiection in respect of mariage but the other being still of the familie and vnder iurisdiction are bound to be ordered by their parents in the bestowing of themselues This is briefly the meaning of the question in hand Now for proofe of this point I will propound three sorts of arguments wherof some are drawne from the law of God some from the light of nature and some from the iudgement of the ancient Church For the first sort According to the law of God mariage is not only a ciuill and politike but also a diuine and spirituall coniunction the author and ordainer whereof vpon speciall cause was God himselfe This our Sauiour Christ witnesseth when he saith Those whom God hath ioyned together let no man separate Matth. 19. 6. That therefore mariages may be soundly ratified and confirmed the authoritie and power of God himselfe is necessarily to be interposed If it be asked How God that is in heauen should bring and ioyne together man and wife vpon the earth I answere that he doth it not immediately by himselfe as he brought Euah vnto Adam but in by some solemne and lawful meanes And this meane is that great and ancient power and prerogatiue of parēts And the law of God hath giuen them this power not in ciuill contracts and compositions alone but euen in the beginning and accomplishing of mariages Deut. 7. 3. Thou shalt not giue thy daughter vnto his sonne nor take his daughter vnto thy son Ierem. 29. 6. Take wiues for your sonnes and giue your daughters vnto husbands that they may beare sonnes and daughters 1. Cor. 7. 36. But if any man thinke that it is vncomlie for his virgin if shee passe the flower of her age and need so require let him doe what he will he sinneth not let them be maried Hence it was that Abraham by right of this authoritie gaue order what wife his seruant should prouide for his son Thou shalt not take a wife to my sonne of the daughters of the Canaanites But thou shalt go vnto my countrie and to my kindred and take a wife vnto my sonne Isaac Gen. 24. 3. 4. Sampson though he was inflamed with the loue of the womā in Timnath whom he saw to be beautifull in his eyes yet hee durst not take her to his wife till she was giuen him of his parents Iudg. 14. It was an expresse law of God that if a man intised a maid that was not betrothed and lay with her hee should endow her and take her to his wife But how marke in what manner the holy Ghost proceedeth If her father refuse to giue her to him he shall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins Exod. 22. 16. 17. Deut. 22. 28. 29. In which text Moses plainly teacheth that the consent of the two parties is not sufficient no not though they haue had societie together vnlesse they haue the free cōsent of their parents also In like maner it was ordained by God Numb 30. 4. 5. 6. That if a woman vowed a vow vnto the Lord being in her fathers house her father hearing it holdeth his peace concerning her that is approueth her vow by winking at it her vow shall stand But if her father disallow her that is giueth no approbation or consent vnto the vow made it shall be of no value and the Lord wil forgiue her because her father consented not Now if the vow of children made vnto God and pertaining to his worship cannot be ratified without the parents approbation of how much lesse force shall any priuate contract or mariage be without their allowance The second argument is taken from the light of nature and it is gathered by proportion on this manner A son priuilie alienateth and selleth away his fathers lands either in whole or in part The question is whether this alienation be good in law yea or no Answere is No. And why Because the land did not belong to the son but was part of his fathers substance In like manner a son alienates himselfe and is betrothed to a woman to marrie her without his parents knowledge Is this act of the son warrantable and sound By no meanes for the son in respect of his body is part of the fathers goods and may not be alienated from him without consent A notable reason hereof we find in Iob 1. For when God had giuen Satan power to destroy and spoile all Iobs goods and whatsoeuer he had the diuell doth not only touch the wealth of Iob but his children also as a part of his substance In this respect the Iewes were permitted by God to sell their children Exodus 21. 7. Againe for the accomplishment of mariage there must needs be a mutuall donation betweene the spouse and the espoused And what is that which is mutually giuen Surely their persons or rather their bodies each to other for so Paul saith 1. Cor. 7. 2. Let euery man haue his wife and let euery woman haue her owne husband But by whom is this donation to be made by sons and daughters that are in the familie
the iust commendation of Rebekahs parents who though they were Idolaters yet had that regard of equity that they first called her and asked her consent before they sent her away with Abrahams seruant to be maried to Isaak Gen. 24. 58. Now in case the Parents faile in their dutie in this regard the son or daughter may lawfully declare the matter first to their kinsfolke and afterward if need be to the Minister or Magistrate and sue for redresse by their means and direction CHAP. 14. Of the Sonne THe sonne is he who is in subiection to his parents The duties of a son to bee performed to his parents are principally two First to yeeld them obedience whether they be his naturall parents or otherwise as his step-father step-mother and that while he liueth Eph. 6. 1. Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right Luke 2. 51. Then hee went downe with them and came to Nazareth and was subiect to them Exod. 18. 19. Moses father in law said vnto him Heare now my voice I will giue thee counsell and God shall be with thee Ruth 3. 5. And Ruth said vnto Naomi her mother in law All that thou biddest me I wil do Iob 1. 5. And whē the daies of their bāquetting were gone about Iob sent and sanctified them This obedience must shew it selfe in two things First in the choyce of a lawfull calling wherein the child is to be ordered and appointed at the discretion of the parent Secondly in mariage For in that the parent is the principall agent and disposer of the child Now although his authoritie be not so great as that the child is to be forced and compelled by him yet the reuerent and dutifull respect which the child ought to beare towards him ought to be a strong inducement not to dissent or renounce his aduice without great and waightie cause Yea the child must endeuour by all manner of dutifull cariage to ouercome or at least to mitigate his parents seueritie in that behalfe Now for the daughters They must yeeld obedience to their parents in all Domesticall labours that they may be skilfull in houshold affaires Thus did the seuen daughters of the Priest of Midian accustome themselues to draw water and fill the troughes to water their fathers sheepe Exod. 2. 16. Thus Rebekah was seene to come out of her fathers house with her pitcher vpon her shoulder and to go downe with it to the well to fill it and giue drinke to her fathers Camels Gen. 24. 16. 17. The second dutie of the sonne is to recompence his fathers loue and care ouer him by relieuing him in case of want if God giue abilitie with food and rayment and other necessaries Herein children must deale with their parents as the brood of the Storke is reported to do with her by feeding her when she is old wherein they doe no more but what shee before hath done vnto them It is Pauls counsell that childred nephewes should recompence the kindnes of their kindred in the first place 1. Tim. 5. 4. and therefore to their parents the head foūdation of their kindred When Ioseph was in prosperitie and his father Iacob in want he first gaue him corne freely and afterwards sent for him to Egypt and there prouided for him in so much as the text saith of him that he nourished his father and his brethren and all his fathers house-hold with bread Euen as the mother puts meat into the childs mouth Gen. 47. 12. When Naomi the step-mother of Ruth was of great yeares and her strength spent Ruth gathered corne in the haruest for reliefe of them both Yea when Boaz gaue her to eate and to drinke she reserued part of her victuals brought it home with her gleanes to refresh her mother Ruth 2. 14. 18. The necessitie of the performance of these duties is so great that if the sonne neglecteth them and doth the contrarie by ill vsage of his parent either in word or deed he is worthie of death euen by Moses law Exod. 21. 15. He that smiteth his father or his mother shall die the death The law of the first borne of a mans children that he should haue a greater portion of his fathers goods then any of the rest of his brethren is perpetuall and admits no exception but only in the case of notorious wickednes Deut. 21. 17. He shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the first borne giue him a double portion of all that he hath for he is the first of his strength and to him belongeth the right of the first borne This was the law yet we reade that Ruben lost this prerogatiue by reason of his incest and Iudah the fourth sonne of Iacob had the dignitie of the first borne Gen. 49. 8. Thou Iudah thy brethren shall prayse thee thy fathers sonnes shall bow downe vnto thee In the Church of the old Testament the priuiledge of the first borne was three-fold the first of gouernment and royaltie the second of Priesthood the third of the double portion And it is probable that this was for the most part Ceremoniall and was accomplished and determined in Christ who was the Image of the inuisible God the first borne of euery creature Colos. 1. 15. Heere two questions are propounded Quest. I. Whether is it lawfull for the sonne to make a vow belonging either to religion or to ciuill conuersation without the consent of the parent Answ. A vow so made is not of force to bind the child but by the Law of nature common equitie is to be made void For it is a ruled case that he which is not his owne man that is to say at his owne libertie but vnder the power of another cannot bind himselfe Againe the authoritie of the parent by the law of God is great For it alloweth the father to make void the vow of the child pertaining to Gods worship Numb 30. 6. Quest. II. Whether is the consent of the parents to be required in the second mariages of their children Answ. 1. Of ancient times both by Ciuill lawes also by Imperial constitutions it was prouided that no widowes though made free by their former mariages should make any contract againe without the good will of their parents 2. Consent in this case though it be not absolutely necessarie yet it is to be thought fit and conuenient because children in some regards exempted from parents authoritie doe owe notwithstanding the dutie of honor vnto them by Gods expresse commandement Exod. 20. 12. and consequently ought to testifie the same by being ordered and aduised by them in some sort euen at the after-bestowing of themselues Hence it is that later Diuines haue holden vpon good ground That the espousals of widowes who haue some more libertie then the child first married being made without their parents knowledge cannot but incurre iust reprehension howsoeuer they may stand in force without it CHAP. 15.
Of the Master NExt vnto parents and children wherby the family is increased is a second sort of couples which are helpes therunto And they are Masters and seruants The Master is a member in the familie which hath power and beareth rule ouer the seruant And his dutie stands principally in three things First To make a good choice of his seruants which is then done when he inquireth first after such as feare God and be willing to serue him Paul makes the seruice and feare of God the maine ground of true obedience in seruants Ephes. 6. 5. 6. 7. Colos. 3. 22. It was the rule of Dauids choice Psal. 101. 6. Hee that walketh in the perfect way he shall serue me Abrahams chiefe seruāt of his house was a man that feared God as appeareth in that he made conscience of his oath Gen. 24. 2. 3. and prayed also for successe in the busines whereabout he was sent Gen. 24. 12. O Lord God of my Master Abraham I beseech thee send mee good speed this day and shew mercie to my Master Abraham Cornelius of Caesarea the Captaine of the Italian band had a souldier that daily attended on him who feared God and seruants also beside him to whom hee made knowne the heauenly vision which hee saw Act. 10. 7. Secondly To enioyne them labour and not to require more of them then their strength will beare The master is to rule ouer the seruant in iustice And then is his cōmandement vniust whē it will not stād with the course of nature with the abilitie of his seruant or with the word of God Therefore he is to require labour at their hāds proportionable to their strength yeeld thē sometimes intercession rest Leuit. 25. 46. Ouer your brethen the children of Israel ye shall not rule ouer one another with crueltie 1. Pet. 3. 8. Bee pitifull bee courteous one beare with another And for the furtherance of busines it is conuenient that the master be oftentimes present with the seruāts in their works Prou. 27. 23. Be diligent to know the state of thy flock and take heed to thy heards The good matron ouerseeth the waies of her houshold Prou. 31. 27. A man of Libya being asked what it was that might make a horse fat he answered The masters eye Thirdly To recompence the diligence and paines of his seruant and that three waies First by giuing him his due of meat and drinke for the present The good matron giueth the portion to her houshold and the ordinary to her maids Prou. 31. 15. Secondly by paying him his hire in the end of his seruice The labourer is worthie of his wages Luk. 10. 7. Well done good seruant and faithfull thou hast been faithfull in little I will make thee ruler ouer much enter into thy masters ioy Mat. 25. 21. Heere three caueats are to be obserued I. That the wages be proportionable to the work II. That it be paid in due time without deferring So the Master of the vine-yard when euen was come called his seruants together to giue thē their hire Mat. 20. 8. III. That the seruāt be not defrauded of any part of his due For this is a crying sin Deut. 24. 15. Thou shalt giue him his hire for his day neither shall the Sunne go downe vpon it lest hee crie against thee vnto the Lord and it bee sinne vnto thee Iam. 5. 4. Behold the hire of the labourers which haue reaped your fields which is kept backe by fraud crieth and the cries of them which haue reaped are entred into the eares of the Lord of hosts Thirdly if the seruant in time of his seruice be sicke the masters care must be by all means possible to procure his recouery Equitie must be the rule in these cases and masters are to do to their seruants that which is iust and equall Col. 4. 1. Now the seruant haplie falles sicke by and in his seruice and his health yeelds not only profit to his master but incouragement also to himselfe The good Centurion in case of his seruants sicknesse tooke the best course to haue him restored Matth. 8. 6. CHAP. 16. Of the Seruant THe Seruant is a person in the family subiect vnto his master The dutie of a seruāt is faithfully and diligētly to demeane himselfe in the affaires of his master and to doe seruice vnto him as vnto Christ though he be froward and hard-harted Titus 2. 9. Let seruants be subiect to their masters and please them in all things not answering againe Ephes. 6. 5. Seruants be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh with feare trembling in singlenes of your hearts as vnto Christ. Col. 3. 22. Thus Iacob serued Laban Gen. 31. 38. This twentie yeares haue I bin with thee thine ewes and thy goates haue not cast their yong and the rammes of the flocke haue I not eaten c. Contrariwise the seruant must take heed that he doe not his masters businesse negligently or for fashion sake or with eye-seruice as a man-pleaser that in case of rebuke or controlement he answere not againe lastly that hee be trustie withhold his hands from picking and his heart from deceiuing his master Seruants are of two sorts either free or bond-seruants A free-seruant is he whom his master hireth for wages to do him seruice To him belongs the iust paiment of his hire and in case of offence them master hath authoritie to censure and correct him prouided that in the execution thereof respect bee had vnto his age and the correction be vsed with moderation as if hee were his sonne A bond-seruant is a seruant bought for money and is commonly called a slaue Touching this sort a question is moued whether a Christian may with safe conscience haue and vse a man as his slaue Answ. The power right of hauing bond-men in those countries where it is established by positiue lawes may stand with good cōscience if it be vsed with moderation That authoritie in this behalfe is moderate wherein these seuen caueats be obserued I. That the master haue not ouer his seruant the power of life and death for this takes away the lawful power of the Magistrate to whom only the Lord hath committed the sword of iustice II. That there be not libertie granted him to vse his seruant at his owne will and pleasure in all things for this was not granted by the law of God to his owne people Exod. 21. 26. If a man smite his seruant or his maid in the eye and hath perished it he shall let him go free for his eye Also if he smite out his seruants or his maids tooth he shall let him go out free for his tooth III. That the power be not enlarged to the commanding of things against piety or iustice for in these cases a man must rather obey God then man Act. 4. 19. IV. That masters do not take libertie to make separation of those their seruants that be married
free to all men euen to such as haue the gift of continencie and for those who haue not the power to abstaine it is expressely enioyned by God as necessarie Which discouereth that error of absolute inhibition thereof to some sorts of men without the least exception of abilitie to forbeare And in this case though the Church of Rome prescribeth an helpe by prayer and indeuour where the gift is wanting yet herein she addeth two more absurdities to the former imposing a necessitie of containing by her lawes where God hath giuen libertie by his word and causing to flee from that onely Remedie which himselfe hath sanctified to another whereunto hee neither giueth charge by his will nor incouragement by promise II. That Marriages consummate without the free and aduised consent of Parents either explicite in tearmes or implicite by conniuence are in the court of conscience meere nullities A doctrine cleered in this Booke both by Scriptures and by consent of Antiquitie Wherein is challenged the Iesuites proposition That the sole consent of the parties is sufficient ad Matrimonium firmum ac ratum efficiendum As also that decree of the Councell of Trent which professeth a detestation of clandestine contracts and yet with the same breath pronounceth the curse of Anathema vpon them who affirme that Parents may ratifie or make voide Mariages contracted by their children without their allowance III. That Matrimonie lawfullie begun and consummate is made voide onely by way of diuorce in the case of Adulterie So saith our Sauiour Whosoeuer shall put away his wife except it be for fornication c. And this liberty granted by Christ both to dissolue and to marrie againe cannot be restrained or cut off by any humane ordinance A point directlie impugned by two other Rules of that Councell One that the Church of Rome erreth not when she teacheth as they professe Iuxta Euangelicam Apostolicam doctrinam but in truth expressely contradictory thereunto That the knot of mariage cannot be broken because of adulterie and that neither partie may vndertake to be maried againe during the life of the other after the dismission The other that the vow of Chastitie and entring into holy Orders is of force to loose the bond of Mariage And in this case separation is made and allowed de facto by the sole authoritie of the Pope notwithstanding the refusall of the setled partie to yeeld consent IV. That the iudgement and determination of causes matrimoniall as of Contracts and their impediments of degrees of kinred of diuorces c. resteth originally in the ciuill Magistrate in whose power it is to ordaine and establish lawes touching them agreeable to Gods word and to cause them to be put in execution For this purpose in doubtfull and difficult cases the ancient Church hath not absolutely rested in her owne decrees but hath made recourse to the seate of Iustice specially vnder Christian Magistrates submitting her selfe to their lawes and constitutions in that kinde Whereas the Church of Rome hath determined that these causes doe simplie and only appertaine to Ecclesiasticall Iudges and therefore hath concluded Mariage to be a Sacrament that the definition of cases coniugall becomming vpon this ground an action of a spirituall nature might be transferred from the Ciuill to their spirituall Courts The soueraigntie whereof in these affaires by their owne constitutions is greatly inlarged For though they admit that politike Princes haue some interest in them yet they must hold it with subordination to the autoritie of the Church-Magistrate and when the Rector of the Prouince maketh a law hereof hee must doe it approbante Principe Ecclesiastico by the allowance of the Pope otherwise his lawes are meere nullities And among their reasons of policie this is one of the principall that they might by this meanes raise a commoditie to the Sea of Rome by the sale of their dispensations Now these points together with the substance of this small discourse I willingly commend vnto your Lordship desiring that vnder the wings of your Honourable protection it may safelie walke abroad in the world to the view and benefit of others The true report of your ancient loue of the truth and fauourable inclination to the Ministers and dispensers thereof hath giuen mee incouragement in this action the rather for that the Argument fitteth in some sort your present estate whose house God hath adorned with oliue plants a vertuous and hopefull issue whose young yeeres being seasoned therein by the sweete sauour of their fathers vertues may yeeld in time a plentifull increase of Honour in this Common-wealth and consequentlie aduance your Name in themselues and their posteritie To this may be added mine own desire to giue some testimonie of dutie to your Lordship as holding it your due to be had in Honourable tearmes with men whose care hath been to maintaine the Honour of the Highest by your constant profession and practise of Religion And thus emboldening my selfe vpon the perswasion of your Lordships fauour and acceptance I humblie take my leaue and commend you to the grace of God who is able to build you vp further and giue you an inheritance among them which are sanctified Finching-field Septemb 26. 1609. Your Lordships to be commanded in all Christian dutie THO. PICKERING A SHORT SVRVEY OF THE RIGHT MANNER OF ERECTING and ordering a Familie according to the Scriptures CHAP. I. Of Christian Oeconomie and of the Familie CHristian Oeconomie is a doctrine of the right ordring of a Familie The onely rule of ordering the Family is the written word of God By it Dauid resolued to gouerne his House wheÌ„ he saith I will walke in the vprightnesse of my heart in the midst of my house Psal. 101. 2. And Salomon affirmeth that through wisdome an house is builded and with vnderstanding it is established Prou. 24. 3. A Familie is a naturall and simple Societie of certaine persons hauing mutuall relation one to another vnder the priuate gouernement of one These persons must be at the least three because two cannot make a societie And aboue three vnder the same head there may be a thousand in one familie as it is in the households of Princes and men of state in the world CHAP. 2. Of the Household seruice of God A Family for the good estate of it selfe is bound to the performance of two duties one to God the other to it selfe The dutie vnto God is the priuate Worship and Seruice of God which must be established and setled in euery family And the reasons hereof are these First because this duty standeth by the expresse commandement of God who by his Apostle willeth men to pray â—â—ery where lifting vp pure hands without â—â—rath or doubting 1. Tim. 2. 8. Againe it is confirmed by the cuâ—â—ome and practise of holy men in their â—mes I know saith the Lord touching Abraham that he will commaund his sonnes and his household after him that
vnder the iurisdiction of their parents It may not be For nature her selfe taketh it for granted that he which is not at his own libertie cannot yeeld to the giuing of himselfe The donation therefore remaines in the right of the parent in as much as the wil consent of the child ought to depend vpon his wil and consent to whom God hath giuen power and authoritie in this behalfe In the third place let the iudgement of the ancient Church be obserued Ambrose in his first booke of the Patriarch Abraham chap. 9. requires this consent in mariages which he saith is so equall and agreeable to nature that euē the Poets acknowledged the same For which purpose he reciteth two verses out of the Grecian Poet Euripides in his Tragedie called Andromacha wherin in when Orestes desired to marrie Hermion she frames him this answere That the matter of her mariage wholly depended vpon the pleasure and authoritie of her father was not in her owne power or libertie Innocentius who was both a Pope and Martyr in his decretall epistles so strictly requireth consent of parents as where it is wanting he concludes the mariage to be void In the Coūcell of Lateran it was decreed that Clandestine contracts secret mariages made and vndertaken betweene partie and partie should be holden as vnlawfull as mariages in those degrees of consanguinitie and affinitie which are forbidden by God Tertullian saith That in this world the sonne cannot rightly and lawfully marrie without the allowance of his father Basil in an Epistle to Amphilochius Bishop of Iconium affirmeth That mariages which are made without them which haue power ouer the parties are fornications and therefore that they which are ioyned together in mariage while their parents or masters liue are in no sort free from imputation of sin vntill they haue approbation from them for then mariage is ratified confirmed when they haue yeelded allowance thereunto The second Action touching the consummation of mariage is the action of the Minister And that is the blessing or sanctification thereof which is a solemne worke wherby the Minister pronouncing the parties contracted to be man and wife before the whole congregation commendeth them and their estate vnto God by solemne prayer This solemne sanctification is grounded vpon the practise of God himselfe who hauing giuen Euah to Adam blessed them saying Increase and multiplie Gen. 2. 22. and 1. 27. For that which God then gaue the Minister standing in his roome now prayeth may be giuen to the man and wife Yea it is agreeable to the generall rule of the Apostle Let all things bee done decently and in order 1. Cor. 14. 40. Now that this action is to be approued and vsed in the Church appeares by these reasons I. Mariage as it is a publike action so it is after a sort a spirituall and diuine ordinance whereby it differeth from the contract For the contract being meerely ciuill as it standeth by consent of men so by the same consent it may bee broken and dissolued but with mariage it is otherwise II. Marriage is the Seminarie of the Church and Common-wealth III. It was the practise of y e Primitiue Church Tertullian speaking of the marriage of Christians with Christians acknowledgeth himselfe not to bee able sufficiently to declare the happines of that coniunction which is made by the Church consecrated by prayers solemne seruice witnessed by the Angels and ratified by God himselfe Nicephorus reporteth of one Synesius who auouched that God the lawes and the holy hand of Thesphylus had giuen him a wife Ambrose saith That mariage ought to be sāctified with the vaile wherewith the Priest was wont to couer the Bride and the Bride-groome in the publike congregation and with his blessing The third and last action belonging to the accomplishment of this estate is that of the parties themselues whereby the Bride is in decent and modest manner brought vnto the house and home of the Bride-groome It is the law of this estate published by God himselfe in Paradise that the man euen in respect of habitation should leaue father and mother and cleaue to his wife Gen. 2. 24 Heere question is moued whether mariage is to be solemnized with mirth and feasting Answ. I. It is lawfull and warrantable to vse feasting and mirth at mariages because these be things indifferent and wee haue examples thereof in the Scriptures Laban made a feast at the wedding of Iacob and Rachel and inuited all the men of the place to it Gen. 29. 22. Christ himselfe did approue the resort of people to the mariage at Cana in Galilee both by his presence and by that honorable gift of sixe water-pots of the best wine Ioh. 2. 2. 7. 8. II. It is not only lawfull but conuenient and fit to be done if there be abilitie according to the commendable custome of the place countrie wherin men do dwell so as in the vse thereof these cautions bee obserued First that in mirth and merry-making there be care had that nothing be done which is dishonest prophane or of ill report Philip. 4. 8. Whatsoeuer things are honestpure of good report thinke on these things Secondly That ioy in them be mixed and moderated with the feare of God without which Laughter and reioycing is meere madnesse Eccles. 2. 2. Thirdly That it bee performed in a moderate and sober vse of the creatures without riot excesse Thus we reade that at the great feast of Ahashuerosh it was appointed by the King himself that they should drink orderly none might compel another to drinke more then he thought conuenient Ester 1. 8. And where weddings are kept contrary to these directions they are not feasts celebrated vnto God but vnto y e diuell which also may be said of all other festiuall meetings And so much touching the point of mariage in which this is to be remembred for a cōclusion That where there is generally a nullitie in the contract or a separation following vpon it there is also a nullity in regard of the consummation of mariage CHAP. 9. Of the duties of married persons THus farre haue we proceeded in the doctrine of marriage and now we come to the duties which they who bee maried are to performe each to other These are principally two Cohabitation and Communion Cohabitation is their quiet and comfortable dwelling together in one place for the better performance of mutuall duties 1. Cor. 7. 10. And to the married command I not I but the Lord let not the wife separate her selfe from her husband vers 12. But to the remnant I say not the Lord If any brother haue an vnbeleeuing wife and she be content to dwell with him let him not forsake her vers 13. And the wife which hath an vnbeleeuing husband which is content to dwell with her let her not forsake him 1. Pet. 3. 7. Likewise let the men dwell together as becōmeth them that
her It was Gods commandement to Abraham concerning Sarah his wife Let it not be grieuous in thy sight for the child and for thy bond-woman in all that Sarah shall say vnto thee heare her voice For in Isaak shall thy seed be called Gen. 21. 12. Thus Elkanah was willing to subscribe vnto his wife Annaes aduice for her tarrying at home till the child was weaned 1. Sam. 1. 23. And Elkanah her husband said vnto her do what seemeth thee best tarrie vntill thou hast weaned him only the Lord accomplish his word Hereupon the Heathen Philosopher said That the master of the familie exerciseth after a sort a power Tyrannical ouer his seruants a power Regall ouer his children because Kings are fathers of their Cōmon-weales but in respect of his wife he exerciseth a power Aristocraticall not after his owne will but agreeable to the honor and dignitie of the married estate and consequently that he ought not in modestie to challenge the priuiledge of prescribing and aduertising his wife in al matters domesticall but in some to leaue her to her owne will and iudgement Heere question is moued whether the husband may correct the wife Answ. Though the husband be the wiues head yet it seemeth he hath no power nor libertie granted him in this regard For we reade not in the Scriptures any precept or example to warrant such practise of his authoritie He may reproue admonish her in word only if he seeth her in fault For thus we reade that Iacob censured his wife being impatient euen in anger Gen. 30. 2. Am I in Gods stead which hath withholden from thee the fruit of the wombe And Iob reproued his wife Iob 2. 10. Thou speakest like a foolish woman What Shall we receiue good at the hand of God and not receiue euill But hee may not chastise her either with stripes or stroks The reason is plaine Wiues are their husbands mates and they two be one flesh And no man will hate much lesse beat his owne flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it Ephes. 5. 29. Againe it is the commandement of God that man should not trespasse against the wife of his youth Malac. 2. 15. Chrysostome saith It is the greatest reproch for any man that can bee to beate his wife Plutarch in the life of Cato the Censor affirmeth that he which smiteth his wife doth all one as if he should lay violent hands vpon the sacred images of the gods which was counted an high degree of offence among the Heathen It is alledged Husbands are cōmanded so to loue their wiues as Christ doth his Church now Christ chastiseth his Church with strokes therefore so may the husband his wife Answ. As Christ doth entirely loue his Church so hee may also chastise the same because hee is not only the husband but also absolute Lord and King of his Church so is not the husband absolute ouer the wife But his authority ouer the wife is after a sort ciuill as is the authoritie of the Magistrate ouer his people Ans. It is not so For the Magistrate hath in his hand the power of the sword by which power he inflicteth punishment in case of offence But the husband can challenge to himselfe no such power yea it is flatly forbidden in the Ciuil law that he should scourge or strike his wife Neuerthelesse if she grow to extremities and be desperately peruerse so as there be no hope of amendment then the Magistrate may be informed who to preuent scandals and to prouide for publike peace both ought and may assigne vnto her necessary correction and punishment according to her desert Now the husband that hath a wife so stubborne and peeuish must beare it if it may be borne as the portion of his crosse laid vpon him by God And in this case if he be impatient he may in some sort be pardoned and pitied but he is not wholly to be excused CHAP. 12. Of the Wife THe wife is the other married person who being subiect to her husband yeeldeth obedience vnto him Touching the subiection of the wife the word of God mētioneth it in sundrie places Rom. 7. 2. The woman which is in subiection to the man is bound by the law to the man while he liueth Ephes. 5. 24. As the Church is in subiection to Christ euen so let the wiues bee to their husbands in euery thing Colos. 3. 18. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as it is comely in the Lord. 1. Tim. 2. 12. I permit not a woman to vsurpe authoritie ouer the man And it was a law established by God immediately after the fal Gen. 3. 16. Vnto the woman he said I wil greatly increase c. and thy desire shal be subiect to thine husband and he shall rule ouer thee Indeed the daughter according to the Ciuill law euen when shee is married is in the power of her father and not of her husband But this is directly against the law of Moses and crosseth the law of Nature Leuit. 22. 12. 13. Numb 30. 13. Now the duties of the wife are principally two The first is to submit her selfe to her husband and to acknowledge and reuerence him as her head in all things Gen. 20. 16. Likewise Abimelech said vnto Sarah Behold thy brother that is thy husband whom thou callest thy brother is the vaile of thine eyes to all that are with thee As if he should say Thy husband is thy head and hath power ouer thee and thou oughtest to reuerence him For of ancient times the wife was couered with a vaile in the presence of her husband in token of subiection to him Thus Rebekah at the sight of Isaak tooke a vaile and couered her head therewith Gen. 24. 65. 1. Cor. 11. 3. The man is the womans head Ephes. 5. 22. Wiues submit your selues vnto your husbands as vnto the Lord for the husband is the wiues head euen as Christ is the head of his Church The reason hereof is good For the wife enioyeth the priuiledges of her husband and is graced by his honor and estimation amongst men His Nobilitie maketh her noble though otherwise shee is base and meane as contrariwise his basenesse and low degree causeth her though shee bee by birth noble and honorable to bee by estate base and meane The second dutie is to be obedient vnto her husband in all things that is wholly to depend vpon him both in iudgement and will For looke as the Church yeelds obedience to Christ her head and yeelds her selfe to be commanded gouerned and directed by him so ought the woman to the man So Sarah is said to obey Abraham and to giue him the termes of obedience Shee called him Lord or Sir 1. Pet. 3. 6. Hence it followeth that the woman is not to take libertie of wandring and straying abroad from her owne house without the mans knowledge cōsent 2. King 4. 22. Then she called to her husband and said Send with me
time proues incurablie contagious and so lothsome that the one may iustly feare to keepe and conuerse with the other as it falleth out when one is tainted with leprosie then the contract is vtterly to be dissolued as if God himself should haue commanded it though the promise was formerlie made the parties themselues should be vnwilling God hath ordained Matrimonie to helpe not to hurt either the persons themselues or others Where therefore these diseases be which may infect hurt or destroy others there God hath as it were testified from heauen that the act done is not pleasing vnto him and that presently it ought to be frustrate The contract being thus once dissolued the sounder partie shall be at his or her libertie to marrie againe But the diseased is by the Magistrates authoritie to be forbidden societie with any other in way of mariage and commanded to lead his life where he may conueniently from companie for feare of infection And withal he is for his owne part to sue vnto God by prayer in faith for the gift of continencie For certaine it is that he to whom God hath denied the power of vsing mariage with good conscience is thereby euen called to continencie and single life But if the disease be not contagious yet either incurable or so nastie that either of the espoused hath iust cause to be afraid of the others companie then both are to be aduised not to claime their right but willingly to surrender it each to other by mutuall consent that they may be free againe not bound by any former promise to liue together as man and wife Considering that they haue no hope mutually to conuerse together with comfort contentment while they so remaine Vpon this aduice giuen by their lawfull Pastor or some in his stead if they both yeeld or one of them at the least desires to be at his owne libertie the espousals are forthwith to be brokeÌ„ off But if neither will consent to a separation but rather proceed as they haue begun and in probability the one haue no iust cause to hold the other in suspition in respect of contagion they are not to be hindered from the consummation of their mariage Furthermore though one of them should haue a disease which is continuall without intermission yet curable or any other incoÌ„uenience should befall either of them after the sure-making wherby they become lame deafe or dumbe c. yet this is not a sufficient cause to moue them to renounce and dissolue the contract A second Case What if it falleth out that after the finishing of the contract one of the espoused persons bee long absent from the other so as the absence bee preiudiciall to the mariage that should ensue vpon the contract Answ. Inquirie must be made whether this absence be voluntarie or against the will of the partie If it be voluntarie For example if the man vpon an honest and iust cause the woman also being priuie thereunto shall go beyond seas and being admonished of his dutie before hand shal notwithstanding stay a whole yeare or more and will not returne but further wilfully absent himselfe then may it be lawfull to the woman to craue of the publike Magistrate a dissolution of the couenant made consequently marry another man vnlesse the former to whom she was contracted be heard of If he be then shall it be lawfull for him to pleade for himselfe and tendring no iust cause of his refusall he shall be forced by the Magistrates authoritie to stand to his promise and take the woman for his wife And the same order is to be taken in the wilfull absence of the woman after she is contracted If againe the man or woman shall vpon an euill mind and with purpose to deceiue each other absent theÌ„selues and depart meanes must be vsed that they may be admonished of their dutie That being done or at least vndertaken and yet the partie offending will not appeare if the other that is present vpon certaine knowledge of his or her want in respect of continencie shall sue to the Magistrate after publike and solemne notice giuen the contract may be broken But if on the other side either of them be absent against their wil and intendeth no fraud or deceit but is violently detained by captiuitie imprisonment sicknes force banishment transportation or such like then the partie present being desirous of the consummation of the mariage ought either to make meanes vnto him and expect his returne or haue certaine notice of his death before she promise or haue to do with any other in way of mariage A third Case What if after the contract one of the parties becomes furious or madde Answ. If the disease be continuall without intermission in all equitie and likelihood the espousals are to be dissolued vnlesse both parties after knowledge and experience of the disease haue knowne one another yet in this and all such like cases it is fit that all good meanes be tried and vsed and sufficient time be giuen for the restoring of the diseased to their former good estate and for the accomplishment of the mariage lawfully begun as before CHAP. 8. Of Mariage MAriage is that wherby the coniunction formerly begunne in the contract is solemnely manifested and brought to perfection Mariage is consummate by three sorts of actions one of the parents of the Bride and Bridegroome the other of the Minister in publike the third of the persons coupled together The action of the Parents is vpon the Mariage-day to bring the Bride and deliuer her to the Bride-groome that they two may become actually man and wife and performe each to other all matrimoniall duties And where the mariage is complete in any other manner so as the Parents vpon sound iudgement and deliberation shall deny their full and free consent either in expresse words or by coÌ„niuence and silence and that vpon iust and lawfull cause there though in the ciuill courts of men it may stand and the children borne therein bee legitimate before men yet the truth is before God it is of no force but a meere nullitie And because this doctrine touching consent of parents in these Cases is of great vse and auaileth much to the supporting and maiâ—â—â—ining of families I will first open the truth thereof and then proue it by reasons Vnder the name of parents are comprehended First the Father and Mother Secondly all Tutors and Guardians who haue the proper sole charge of wards or others vnder yeares of discretion Thirdly all such as are kindred of blood who are in stead of parents to childreÌ„ as the vncle by the fathers side the vncle by the mothers side and such like Now touching the consent of parents that is of father and mother I hold it requisite of necessitie to marriage For the authoritie of parents must not be resisted or violated As for Tutors and such as haue the place of parents their consent is not