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A18918 An almond for a parrat, or Cutbert Curry-knaues almes Fit for the knaue Martin, and the rest of those impudent beggers, that can not be content to stay their stomakes with a benefice, but they will needes breake their fastes with our bishops. Risum sum plenus. Therefore beware (gentle reader) you catch not the hicket with laughing. Nash, Thomas, 1567-1601.; Lyly, John, 1554?-1606, attributed name. 1589 (1589) STC 534; ESTC S104396 29,496 48

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why should we tie our Ministrie to the prophane studies of the Uniuersitie What is Logicke but the highe waie to wrangling contayning in it a world of bibble babble Néede we anie of your Gréeke Latine Hebrue or anie such gibbrige when wée haue the word of God in English Go to go to you are a great company of vaine men that stand vpon your degrées and tongues with tittle tattle I cannot tell what when as if you looke into the matter as you ought the Apostles knew neare a Letter of the booke I wis it were not two pins hurt if your Colledges wer fired ouer your heades and you turnde a begging forth your fellowshippes like Fryers and Monkes vp and downe the Countrie I marie sir this is somewhat like now Martin speakes like himselfe I dare saie for him good man he could be contented there were nere a maister of Art Bachelour of Diuinitie Doctor or Bishop in England on that condition he prest Fishermen scullers Co●pers Stitchers Weauers and Coblers into theyr places You talke of a Harmonie of the Churches but héere would be a consort of knauerie worth the publishing to all posteritie Would you not laugh to sée Cli. the Cobler and New the souter ierking out theyr elbowes in euerie Pulpit Why I am sure Ladie Law would fast mans flesh a whole moneth together but shée woulde giue either of them a gowne cloth on that condition My selfe doe knowe a zealous Preacher in Ipswich that beeing but a while a goe a stage player will now take vpon him to brandish a Text agaynst Bishoppes as well as the best Martinist in all Suffolke Why I praie you goe no farther then Batter haue wée not there a reuerent Pastour of Martines owne making that vnderstands not a bit of Latine nor neuer dyd so much as looke towards the Uniuersitie in his life yet you sée for a néede he can helpe discipline out of the durt and come ouer our Cleargie verie handsomely with an héere is to bée noted Oh he is olde dogge at expounding and deade sure at a Catechisme alwayes prouided that it bée but halfe a shéete long and he be two yéeres about it And well too my maisters for such a one that vauntes himselfe to bée as hée is as good a Gentleman euerie inch of him as anie is in all Stafford shéere Bée what he will one thing I wote hée is seldome without a good Chéefe in his studie besides apples and nuttes although his wise can neuer come at them I hearde not long since of a stoute conference hée had with a yong scholer who taking my Deske-man somewhat tardie in his disputations told him hée was inspired with too much Logique Wherevnto hée replyed with this solempne protestatiō I thank God al the world cannot accuse me of that arte I hope anon maister Martin I shall bée méetelie euen with you for your knauerie if I goe but two mile further in your Ministrie It is not the Primitiue Church shall beare out the Uicar of little Down in Norfolke in groaping his owne hennes like a Cotqueane I am to come ouer him when I haue more leasure for his tenne shillings Sermons at Thetforde wherein if he raue as hée was wont to doe Ile make him wishe that hée had béene still Usher of Westminster Well to the purpose You saie Bishoppes are no Magistrates because they are no lawfull Magistrates Is it euen so brother Timothie will it neuer be better must I euer leade you vp and downe antiquitie by the nose lyke an Asse May neither Scriptures nor Fathers goe for paiment with you but still you will bée reducing vs to the president of the persecuted Church and so confounde the discipline of warre and peace If you will néedes make vs the apes of all their extremities why doe not you vrge the vse of that communitie wherein Ananias and Saphira were vnfaythfull Perswade Noble men and Gentlemen to sell theyr landes and laie the money at your féete take awaie the title of mine and thine from amongst vs and let the worlde knowe you héereafter by the name of Anabaptistes Admit that the authoritie of Bishoppes were as vnlawfull as you woulde make it yet since it is imposed vnto them by the Princes owne mouth and ratified by the approbation of so many Kings and Emperours as well in their particular Parliamentes as generall counsayles you are bounde in conscience to reuerence it and in all humilitie to regarde it insomuch as Christ denide not tribute to Caesar an vsurper nor appealde from Pilate a Pagan who occupied that place by the intrusion of tyrannie Were the Israelites in captiuitie anie whit exempted from the obedience of subiectes in that they liued vnder the scepter of Nabuchodonesor an Idolater who had blasphemed their God defafaced their Temple and defiled their holie vesselles Nay are they not expreslie commaunded by the Lordes owne mouth to honour him as their King Howe can they then escape the dampnation of contempte that béeing priuate subiectes to such a vertuous Soueraigne as is zealous of Gods glorie will controll her disposing of honours and oppose vnto publique derision those the especiall pillers and ornamentes of her state whome shée hath graced from their infancie with so many sundrie ascentes of dignities But were this all then shoulde not treason bée such a braunche of your religion as it is Haue not you and your followers vndermined her Graces Throane as much as traytours might call to minde the badde practise of your brother the Booke-binder and his accomplishes at Burie who béeing as hotte spirited as your worshippes in the schismaticall subiect of reformation and séeing it woulde not come of halfe kindlie to theyr contentment made no more a doe but added this newe Posie to her Maiesties armes Those that bée neither hotte nor colde Ile spue them out of my mouth sayth the Lorde Denie this and Ile bring a whole Assizes as Obsignatos testes of your trecherie To come neerer to thée Brother Martin Hast not thou in thy firste booke agaynst Doctour Bridges as also in Hay anie worke for Cooper excluded her Highnesse from all Ecclesiasticall gouernement saying shée hath neyther skill nor commission as shée is a Magistrate to substitute anie member or minister in the Church And in an other place that there is neither vse nor place in the Church for members ministers or officers of the magistrates making If this wyll not come in compasse of treason then farewell the title of Supremacie and welcome agayne vnto Poperie By this time I thinke good-man Puritan that thou art perswaded that I knowe as well as thy owne conscience thée namely Martin Makebate of Englande to bée a moste scuruie and beggerlie benefactor to obedience per consequens to feare neyther men nor that God who can cast both bodie and soule into vnquenchable fire In which respect I neyther account you of the Churche nor esteeme of your bloude otherwise then the bloud of Infidelles Talke as long as
so fully disgested that he shuld forget the sanctified martyrs his brethren those runagate Printers to whose reuenge he bequeatheth a large Pistle of rayling Epithites and mistearmeth our Bishoppes authoritie with a whole Textor of tyrannie A few of whose milder tearms are of this making wicked Priests presumptuous Priests proude Prelates arrogant Bishops horseléeches butchers persecutors of the truth Lamhethical whelps Spanish Inquisitours Thinke you this myrie mouthed mate a partaker of heauenly inspiration that thus aboundes in his vncharitable railings yet are these nothing in comparison of his auncient burlibond adiunctes that so pester his former edition with their vnweldie phrase as no true syllogisme can haue elbowe roome where they are In which Alphabet these that followe may bee placed bounsing Priests terrible Priests venerable Maisters proud and pontificall Patripolitians Gentle reader I giue you but a tast of them by the waie that you may knowe them the next time you méete them in your dish and learne to discerne a poysonous scorpion from wholesome fish Martin you must thinke was moude when his gun-pouder papers were fired aboute his cares and the spendthriftes his Printers haled to the prison their patrimonies Wherefore I cannot blame him though he sends abroade his Letters of supplication in behalfe of his seruants that did but his bidding The Church the Church is persecuted amongst you my maisters and Martin gettes nere a superintendentship by the shift but let not Meg Law crie once more to the Churchwardens for her foode least shée bring with her a campe royall of scoldes to scratch out your eyes Oh she will declaime brauely ouer a Cuckstoole and plaie the gyant in a narrowe lane with her distaffe Maister Cooper shall haue his stipend still at Paules chaine or else shée will sweate for it I lyke such a wench that will frande to her tackling why Bishoppes are but men and she will carrie a Martin in her plackarde in despite of the proudest of them all Learne of her you London Matrones to make hodie-peeles of your husbandes and leade them like good soules vp and downe the streetes by the hornes let it be seene by your courages in scolding that women haue soules which a balde eloquent brother of yours denide not long since in his Sermon at Lichfielde I I my maisters you may mocke on as you sée cause but I warrant you the good olde true-pennie Marprelate is not so merrie hee sits ruminating vnder an oake or in the bottome of a haystacke whose bloud shall be first spilte in the reformation of the Church And not without cause for hée that hath so lately felte the paine of worming and launcing cannot but stande in awe of Buls slicing tooles one two moneths after O it is a hairebrande whooresonne and well seene in Phlebotomie if a but once take knife in hande cha will as soone let out the seditious humours forth a Martinistes bodie as the best he in England that hath bin twentie yéeres practioners in Surgerie Good munckie face Machiuell shew but thy head once and trie hun at my request and if he doe it not more handsomely then those whom thou callest Butchers and Horseleeches then neuer trust an olde ladde whilest thou liuest How euer it happens thou bearest thy resolution in thy mouth at highe midnight and hast Scripture enough to carrie thee to heauen though thou wert hangde to morrowe We feare not men that can kill the bodie quoth Martin because we feare God who can cast both bodie and soule into vnquenchable fire Doest thou feare God in déede I praie thée good hedge-creeper how shall we knowe that What by the smoothing of thy face the simpering of thy mouth or staring of thy eies Why if that be to feare God Ile haue a spare fellowe shall make mee a whole quest of faces for thrée farthinges But thou wilt peraduenture saie by thy obedience vnto him Then will I catechise thée more kindly with a fewe more Christian questions the first whereof shall be this wherein thou placest obedience which if thou aunswerest by doing that which God hath commaunded in his worde then would I knowe of thée whether t●at of Paul be Canonicall or Apocripha He that resisteth the magistrate resisteth the ordinaunce of God And here I am sure to be had by the eares with a Geneua note of the distinction of magistrates but all that shall not serue your turnes for Ile driue you from your Dic Ecclesiae ere I haue done ware the vnmasking of Martin when it comes tis lyke to bée a shrewde Pistle I can tell you Prepare your argumentes as you will for Mar-Martin Iunior meanes to make such hauocke of you in that his next pée of seruice as all your borrowed weapons of simple T. C. shall not bée able to withstande For your olde soaking Demonstrationer that hath fcrapte vp such a deale of Scripture to so lyttle purpose Ile leaue his confusion to the vacaunt leasure of our grauer Diuines who I knowe did they but once sette penne to paper woulde grinde his discipline to powder Thou art the man olde Martin of Englande that I am to deale withall that striues to outstrip all our writers in witte and iustle our gouernement forth of doores with a iest What wée must not let you passe with such fauourable tearmes as our graue Fathers haue done your Bookes must bée lookt ouer and you beaten lyke a dogge for your lying I thinke I thinke I shall haue occasion to close with you swéetlie in your Hay anie worke for a Cooper and cutte off the traynes of your tedious syllogismes that nowe haue no lesse then seauen or eight Termini waiting on them Fortifie your ruinous buildinges betimes and saie hée was your friende that badde you for I can tell you thus much a whole hoast of Pasquils are comming vppon you who will so beleaguer your paper walles as that not one idle worde shall escape the edge of their wit I giue thée but a brauado now to let thée knowe I am thine enemie but the next time you sée Mar-Martine in armes bidde your sonnes and your familie prouide them to God-warde for I am eagerly bent to reuenge not one of them shall escape no not T.C. himselfe as full as he is of his myracles But to pursue maister Protestationer in his common place of persecution I remember we talkt euen now of a dudgen destinction from which my Bedlam brother Wig. and poltfoote Pag. with the rest of those patches striue to deriue theyr discipline disobedience Our Ecclesiasticall gouernment gouernours say they are wicked and vnlawfull Why because Sir Peter nor Sir Paul were neuer Archbishoppes of Canterbury London or Yorke They were Fisher-men and were not able When Caesars Officers demaunded their tribute to make fiue groates amongst them then what reason is it our Bishoppes should inioy their fiue hundreds nay that which is more their thousand and two thousands They were none of these Cartercaps Graduates nor Doctors therfore