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A34836 Wit and loyalty reviv'd in a collection of some smart satyrs in verse and prose on the late times / by Mr. Abraham Cowley, Sir J. Berkenhead, and the ingenious author of Hudibras, &c. Cowley, Abraham, 1618-1667.; Birkenhead, John, Sir, 1616-1679.; Butler, Samuel, 1612-1680. 1682 (1682) Wing C6697; ESTC R35660 25,788 40

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shackled his Spirit he would be a Devil without a circle and now if he see the Book of Common-prayer the fire sees it next as sure as the Bishops were burned who compiled it Yet he has mercy on Hopkins and Sternhold because their Me●●ers are sung without Authority no Statute Canon or Injunction at all only like himself first crept into private houses and then into Churches Mr. Rous moved those Me●ters might be sequestred and his own new Rithmes to enjoy the sequestration but was refused because John Hopkins was as ancient as John Calvin Besides when Rous stood forth for his Trial Robin Wisdom was found the better Poet. 'T is true they have a Directory but 't is good for nothing but Adoniram who sold the Original for 400 l. And the Book must serve both England and Scotland as the Directory Needle point's North and South The Assembler's only ingenuity is that he prays for an ex tempore Spirit since his Conscience tells him he has no Learning His prayer thus ended he then looks round to observe the Sex of his Congregation and accordingly turns the Apostle's Men Fathers and Brethren into Dear Brethren and Sisters For his usual Auditory is most-part Female and as many Sisters flock to him as at Paris on Saint Margarets day when all come to Church that are or hope to be with child that year He divides his Text as he did the Kingdom makes one part fight against another or as Burges divides the Dean of Paul's House not into parts but Tenements that is so as 't will yield most money And properly they are Tenements for each part must be dwelt upon though himself comes near it but once a Quarter and so his Text is rather let out than Divided Yet sometimes to shew his skill in Keckerman he Butchers a Text cuts it just as the Levite did his Concubine into many dead parts breaking the sence and words all to pieces and then they are not divided but shattered like the Splinters of Don Quixot's Lance. If his Text be to the occasion his first Dish is Apples of Gold in Pictures of Silver yet tells not the People what Pictures those were HisSermon and prayer grin at each other the one is Presbyterian the other Independent for he preaches up the Classes yet prays for the Army Let his Doctrine and Reason be what they will his Use is still to save his Benefice and augment his Lecture He talks much of Truth but abhorrs Peace lest it strip him as naked as Truth and therefore hates a personal Treaty unless with a Sister He has a rare simpering way of expressions he calls a Marryed Couple Saints that enjoy the mistery a man Drunk is a Brother full of the Creature Yet at Wedding Sermons he is very familiar like that Picture in the Church at Leyden shews Adam Eve without Figleaves AtFunerals he gives infallibleSigns that the Party is gone to Heaven but his chief Mark of a child of God is to be good to God's Ministers And hence it is he calls his Preachment Manna fitted not to his hearers Necessity but their Palat for 't is to feed himself not them If he chance to tire he refreshes himself with the Peoples Hum as a Collar of Bells to chear up a Pack-horse 'T is no wonder he 'll preach but that any will hear him and his constant Auditors do but shew the length of their Ears For he is such an 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 that to hear him makes good Scholars sick but to read him is death Yet though you heard him three hours he 'll ask a fourth as the Beggar at Delph craves your Charity because he eats four pound of Bread at a Meal 'T was from his Larum the Watch-makers learn'd their infinite Skrew His Glass and Text are equaly handled that is once an hour nay sometimes be sally's and never returns and then we should leave him to the Company of Lorimers for he must be held with Bit and Bridle Who ever once has been at his Church can never doubt the History of Balaam If he have got any new Tale or Expression 't is easier to make stones speak than him to hold his peace He hates a Church where there is an Eccho for it Robs him of his dear Repetition and confounds the Auditory as well as he But of all Mortals I admire the Short-hand-men who have the patience to write from his Mouth had they the art to shorten it into Sense they might write his whole Sermon on the back of their Nail For his Invention consists in finding a way to speak nothing upon any thing and were he in the Grand Seignior's power he would lodge him with his Mutes for Nothing and Nothing to purpose are all one I wonder in conscience he can preach against Sleeping at his Opium-Sermons He preaches indeed both in season and out of season for he rayl's at Popery when the Land is almost lost in Presbytery and would cry out Fire Fire in Noah's Flood Yet all this he so acts with his Hands that in this sence too his Preaching is an Handicraft Nor can we complain that Plays are put down while he can preach save only his Sermons have worse sence and less truth But he blew down the Stage and preach'd up the Scaffold And very wisely lest men should track him and find where he pilfers all his best Simile's the only thing wherein he is commendable St Paul himself having cull'd Sentences from Menander's Thais though 't was his worst that is unchast Comedy Sometimes the Assembler will venture at the Original and then with the translator of Don Quixot he mistakes Sobs and Sighs for Eggs and Collops But commonly for want of Greek and Latin he learns Hebrew and streight is illuminated that is mad his Brain is broke by a Brickbat cast from the Tower of Babel And yet this empty windy Teacher has Lectur'd a War quite round the Kingdom he has found a Circulation of blood for Destruction as famous Harvey for Preservation of Mankind 'T was easie to foresee a great Mortality when Ravens were heard in all Corporations For as Multitude of Froggs presage a Pestilence so croaking Lecturers foretold an Assembly Men come to Church as the Great Alexander went to Sacrifice led by Crows You have seen a small Elder-tree grow in chinks and clefts of Church-walls it seems rather a Weed than a Tree which lend it growth makes a Rent in the Wall and throws down the Church Is not this the Assembler grown from Schisms which himself begot and if permitted will make the Church but a Floor or Church-yard Yet for all this he will be call'd Christ's Minister and Saint as the Rebells against King John were the Army of God Sure when they meet they cannot but smile for the dullest amongst them needs must know that they all cheat the people such gross low impostors that we die the death of the Emperor Claudius poyson'd by
of the separated Churches And that I will never by what Conviction of Authority soever whether Legal or Episcopal ever consent to the Establish'd Doctrine and Discipline of the Church of England And I do likewise believe That Liberty of Conscience was a mysterious yet profitable Talent committed to the Churches and that it may be lawfully Farmed out for Advantage and Improvement That no person within the Kingdom of England Dominion of Wales or Town of Barwick may from and after the twenty fifth day of March next use or exercise any manner of Liberty of Conscience except persons standing conformable to the Church of England untill such Person or Persons shall first take the Solemn Protestation and shall compound with the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers for Liberty of Conscience nor shall he be admitted or permitted to be a Speaker or Hearer in any Meeting or Assemblies whatsoever That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience may have Power to constitute under the Publick Seal of the said Office a convenient number of Spiritual Gagers who may have and exercise all such Powers Priviledges and Authorities as the Gagers for Excise of Beer and Ale have or ought to have and enjoy and may at any time in case of Suspition enter into any house or place publick or private to Gage and try the Spirits and Affections of any Person or Fersons and by Praying Preaching or other good Exhortation dissuade from Episcopacy and the Common Prayer the better to fit and prepare them to compound for Liberty of Conscience That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience may have power to fine any person or persons not exceeding the Sum of twenty pounds for every offence who shall after Composition for Liberty of Conscience and subscribing the Solemn Protestation be present in any Church or Chappel within the Kingdom of England Dominion of Wales and Town of Barwick in the time of any part of Divine Service unless at the Funeral of his Father or some other like occasion he shall either respond be uncovered or carry himself reverently in the Time of Divine Service aforesaid That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience or any twenty four of them assembled at the Office aforesaid may have and exercise a Jurisdiction of Appeal in all matters relating to Liberty of Conscience within the said Kingdom of England and shall have a conclusive power in all matters brought before them by way of Appeal as aforesaid That for the better Management of all such matters as shall be brought judicially before the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience by way of Appeal the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers shall have Power to constitute and appoint Mr. Oliver St. Johns and such others as they judge fit for their said Service to be of Standing-Councel with the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers And the said Mr. Oliver St. Johns being so constituted and appointed under the publick Seal of the said Office shall and may be exempted and discharged from being in any publick Office or place of Trust or Profit for the said Term of seven Years any thing to the contrary notwithstanding That if any person or persons shall happen to be proceeded against in any of the Ecclesiastical Courts of the Bishops of this Kingdom for Contumacy for Non-Conformity for Non-payment of Tythes and other Church-Duties for publick Rayling against the Bishops the Common-Prayer or the Government of the Church of England or shall speak Opprobriously or Scandalously against the Doctrine or Discipline thereof as Antichristian or shall maintain any Positions or Doctrines contrary thereunto every such person producing a Certificate from the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers under the publick Seal of the said Office that such person or persons are under Composition for Liberty of Conscience shall actually be discharged and all farther Proceedings stayed Any thing to the contrary notwithstanding That if any persons shall happen to be Indicted or criminally proceeded against in any of his Majesties Courts at Westminster or elsewhere within the Kingdom of England either for Treasonable Speeches or Practices for publick railing at the Government or for Scandalous words against either or both Houses of Parliament or for transgressing any of the penal Laws and Statures of this Kingdom Every such person or persons producing a Certificate from the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers under the publick Seal of the said Office that such person or persons are under Composition for Liberty of Conscience and that such words or practises were not spoken or acted malitiosè but were only the natural and proper Effects and Product of Liberty of Conscience shall be discharged and all further Proceedings stayed Any thing to the contrary notwithstanding That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers of Liberty of Conscience may have Power from time to time to ordain Pastors Elders and Deacons or any other Officers under any Administration whatsoever by the laying on of the Publick Seal of the Office Which said Imposition of the said Publick Seal being received with a Certificate shall be as Lawful an Ordination as if every such Person had received Imposition from the Hands of the Presbytery any late Usage or Custom to the contrary notwithstanding That the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers may have Power from time to time to set apart days of Publick Fastings and Humiliation and Thanksgiving on which days it may be lawful for any Person or Persons appointed to officiate before the said Grand Commissioners and Farmers to stir up the People to a Holy Indignation against themselves for having by their want of Zeal and Brotherly Kindness one towards another lost many Precious Enjoyments and above all the never-to-be-forgotten Loss of the late Power and Dominion which with the Expence of so much Blood and Rapine was put into the Hands of the Saints And to take up for a Lamentation and great thoughts of Heart the Divisions of Reuben that having our Sacks full such an Evil Spirit should be found in the midst of us as to fall out by the way might it have been with those that abode by the Stuff as with those that went out to the Battel it had not been with us as at this day Some starting aside like a broken Bow in the Year 48. others continue to bear the Burden and Heat of the Day until 60 being harness'd did then turn their Backs in the day of Battel As was most sweetly handled at the Fast kept Yesterday at Mr. Beale's by Mr. Calamy Mr. Baxter and others That the Twentieth day of April next commonly called Easter Monday be kept as a day of Solem Fasting and Humiliation for a Blessing upon these Gospel Undertakings and that Mr. Edmond Calamy Mr. Peter Sterry Doctor Lazarus Seamon and Mr. Feake be desired to carry on the Work of the Day in Prayer and Preaching before the said Grand Farmers and that the particulars